Tag Archives: working

TWS: Family Time

Colorful bouquet

I had a lovely day yesterday. I drove up to LA to visit my daughter, SIL, and grand baby. It was my first “official” visit to their new condo, so I brought flowers (pictured) and a few other goodies. My daughter made lunch ~ she’s such a good cook ~ and we all hung out for the afternoon. I stayed longer than I planned to because it was hard to tear myself away from the baby. She’s walking all over the place now and babbling all the words. It’s just adorable!

Driving home was tiring… over an hour in yucky late afternoon traffic. I planned to do some work and catch up on blog stuffs last night, but my eyes wanted to close. I put on Crazy People starring Dudley Moore and Daryl Hannah, which was mildly funny, and zoned out with that instead.

I know that memories of yesterday with my family will keep me smiling all week!

Written for Trent’s Weekly Smile.

~*~

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©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

A POP of Perception

Pop

Angie (aka King Ben’s Grandma) tagged me in Beckie’s positivity prompt. The theme this round is graciousness. Please pop over to Angie’s to read about the origins of the prompt along with her wonderful take on gracious greetings.

My idea of graciousness is rooted in being considerate. This probably comes from my years in administrative support. I’m always aware of people’s moods and when it’s a good time to stop and chitchat, and when a simple “good morning” will suffice. I try to be constantly aware of others’ moods. This is something that only works in person, of course.

Now that I’m noodling on it, this awareness of mood goes beyond my working life and back to my childhood (doesn’t everything?). My parents often argued bitterly, and this was scary to me, so I was forever “taking the temperature” of the room and adjusting my behavior accordingly. I needed to know if it was time to be funny or quiet or what.

I’m a person who says “good morning” with a smile, but I don’t go beyond that unless I perceive it will be welcomed. And I would rather err on the side of too little than too much. I don’t tell people to smile; honestly, I hate when people do that. It’s just so… selfish. An unsmiling face makes us feel bad, which is why we exhort people to smile.

But how do we know why someone isn’t smiling? Maybe they’re in pain. Maybe a family member is desperately sick. Maybe they just got walloped with a bill they can’t afford. Leave them alone! Let them look sad and deal with your own discomfort over it. Unless you’re actively prepared to help them with their problem, don’t mouth off with a meaningless comment. K?

Thank you for coming to my rant. Now go be less annoying and more gracious in your greetings.

If you would like to participate in Beckie’s prompt, please visit Angie’s blog for the rules. I graciously decline to tag anyone.

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

About Last Night…

Last night I didn’t have any supplemental work, so I was free to catch up on my list of things. I could have begun a new great book or watched an interesting movie. I could have written a heartfelt poem or dived back into one of my novels in progress.

But no. I began watching this completely idiotic movie about a boy who was cursed to never find true love by a girl he rejected in spin-the-bottle. I couldn’t actually pay attention to it because it was so dumb, so I went into a coloring frenzy.

Steampunk jack-o-lanternHalloween sceneSteampunk moonBats and moonHappy Halloween

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Laura’s October Challenge (Day 10)

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©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Ninth Four

Shamrock

[Disclaimer: This is Rory’s ninth Daily Four game this season; I haven’t played them all, given that pesky 24-hour day thing.]

Question Fun Directory

Welcome to The Daily Four! [via Rory]

Today’s Questions to the Readers are….

1. How often do you read magazines as in daily, weekly and what magazines do you enjoy and why do you read them as opposed to simply reading articles online?

Pretty much never unless they just appear out of the aether. I was receiving Us in the mail as a freebie, which I’d leaf through to see pretty celeb dresses and royal doings, but it may have run out now. My daughters bought The New Yorker for me as a gift for a year, but I wasn’t getting enough out of it. If I’m in a doctor’s office or hair salon I’ll leaf through a magazine or three.

2. What will you never answer about yourself if asked?

Specifics about work or family.

3. If you had to pin point with a certain amount of commitment your top five environmental concerns what would they be?

Unfortunately, I have neither the luxury of time nor funds to commit to any causes. When I retire I hope to be able to volunteer at an animal shelter, as animal care is my top concern. Cats, to be exact. Other than that, I think people should try to pollute less and quit trashing the planet. That goes for everyone, corporations, righties, lefties, etc. I understand that people dislike being told what to do by Hollywood hypocrites, so to get even they’ll garbage up our home even further, since that would be a logical adult response. 🙄

4. What are your views on ‘robots’ at work and the impact they could have on the human workforce in our future?

Mm I dunno… is there one that looks like George Clooney? I wouldn’t mind giving him a bit of filing.

The Daily Four

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©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ41: Perfectly Tense

FPQ

Fandango provocatively asks…

“So this week’s question is for you to discuss what you think about Zadie Smith’s quote. Do you believe that the past is always tense, the future perfect?”

I suggest you visit Fandango’s link to get the full sense of what he’s on about before you try to make sense of my jabber, but do as you will. Obviously, I am going to speak only to my limited experience on this.

In most cases, I believe people engage in a cognitive dissonance regarding their past. Well, let me back up. A disclaimer: Memory is notoriously unreliable. Even our short-term memories can be wrongola, so the idea that we can accurately remember what happened decades back and make judgments from there? Pffft. Let’s get that out of the way. Okay then.

Do I believe the past is always tense? Well, no! That’s silly. Some people say they had wonderful childhoods. Others have had or are currently in long, happy relationships. These people may or may not be optimistic regarding the future, depending upon a whole bunch of factors, including their individual personalities. That married man I was with for 2.5 years was a “glory days” guy, always telling stories of how much fun he’d had back when, and how the future would never measure up. Always nice to hear, amirite? 🙄

I’m somewhere in the middle, as usual. I had an okay childhood, not great, not awful. I recognize that my memories might be inaccurate and there is no one around to verify anything with. I accept responsibility for my part in failed relationships as an adult, which mostly connects to choosing the wrong men and then doubling down. [Note to self: Don’t do that.]

I’m kinda gloomy about the future, I admit. Maybe it’s a function of where I live, but I see people working their butts off and just getting nowhere. Is this happening in “the heartland” as well as on the coasts? You work a normal full-time job, plus maybe do some part-time work too, and can barely afford to rent an apartment? Forget ever buying a house unless Grandma leaves you one or you win the lottery. Maybe you save and save and can buy something with a group of others, but that’s not exactly “the American dream,” to live like a college student decade after decade.

Okay, so Fandango’s post was more about learning from your mistakes in order to create a perfect future. How realistic is that though? I’ll be 60 in 1.5 years. I understand I could have done many things better, but those chances are gone. I can’t redo where I went to college (passed on Northwestern and UCLA like a freaking idiot). I can’t improve my relationship with my parents because they’re both dead. I can’t make it 1995 again and fix my marriage with what I know now.

Learning is great, but opportunities do not stay available forever. Times change, the dogs bark, the caravan moves on. 🐶

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve!

The Monday Peeve

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

Speaking of that. This is so unbelievable that everyone will think I’m lying, but I swear to you it’s true. I finished my work around 4PM today (Sunday) and began this TMP post, which I shall schedule for 4AM tomorrow, and I thought hey why not watch a movie cuz I haven’t done that in a while. But I can’t because there is blasting mariachi music outside my apartment. I mean BLASTING! I have no idea where it’s coming from because I can’t see a band, but it sounds like it’s right under my window (it’s not). I shut the windows, even though it’s hot AF, because otherwise I’ll go out of my mind. It’s going on and on. Not that the music is bad, but you know… it all sounds the same (no offense okay, but it does) and it’s so loud! Why is this happening? Idk! This wasn’t even going to be my peeve. I guess it’s someone’s birthday ~ the guy just said “Happy Birthday, Becky.”

BECKY? Whatever. Why must we all be subjected to this? How long will it go on? Are we all going to get cake too? I don’t know the answers to these questions! But I am so very annoyed! I finally have free time and now I can’t even watch a movie. Ughhh! Why the hell would anyone think it’s a good idea to have music blasting through an entire neighborhood??? We don’t all want to celebrate with BECKY.

Omg. It’s never going to end…

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.❤️🧁💙

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

PFF15: Elevator Pitch

Time

Welcome to my Friday Flashback! This post originally appeared here on September 13, 2012, exactly seven years ago. I have not seen bicycle man since.

My Kind of Peeps

So this morning I was waiting for the elevator in my office building lobby. I had a big fucking headache, which is not unusual, especially lately because the weather keeps changing like a girl who can’t make up her mind which dress she wants to wear for prom.

There was a guy waiting for the elevator, too. He had a bicycle. Why? Idk. It was clear that he intended to take this bicycle onto the elevator, which was slightly disturbing.

There were two women waiting. They did not look happy. Why should they? We were all going to work.

The elevator arrived with a ding. And also an idiot. Some smiling doofus with a tie bounced off and held the door. “Good morning!” he chirped at Bike Guy.

Bike Guy grunted and wheeled his bike on. The women got on/in. I got in.

Tie Doofus still held the door. “No one’s smiling!” he admonished cheerfully.

One of the women smiled at him.

(It wasn’t me, obviously.)

“That’s better!” he twittered and released his hold on the door.

As the elevator began rising, Bike Guy said, “I hate to dismiss someone’s kindness, but….”

“That guy was really annoying,” one of the women finished.

“Yeah,” said the other one.

I said nothing. I don’t like to talk to strangers on elevators.

But I felt a vague glow of connectedness with these peeps, which is about as good as it gets for me at 9AM on a Thursday in Irvine.

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

People Are Like Cookies

Chocolate chip cookies

Beckie @ Beckie’s Mental Mess has a wonderful continuing series on various mental/emotional issues, and this week her focus is on introversion, a topic I apparently suggested (not that I have any memory of doing so). Soon, she’ll tackle amnesia, I hope! 😂

I’m going to answer the prompt questions that Beckie posted.

1. Are you more Isolated or Introverted?

I’m an introvert. I prefer to be alone or in small groups of close friends/family where we can have meaningful conversation. I also enjoy lots of online interaction. But I’m not isolated ~ most days I interact a little with actual people face to face and that’s fine.

2. Do you feel that there is a difference between the two?

Absolutely. You can be an introvert in the middle of a city, preferring not to talk to others while surrounded by people; while another person might be isolated due to circumstances, but not be introverted and love big parties.

3. What are the causes of being Isolated or Introverted?

Isolated can be by choice or circumstances. Introversion/extroversion traits are hardwired. I have always been exactly how I am.

4. Does your family/friends/co-workers question your behavior when you crave alone time and/or do not want to be bothered?

They don’t generally get fussed about my need for alone time. Some people have a bit of trouble understanding why I don’t wish to attend massive gatherings. A dozen or so people in a room is about the extent of my comfort level. More than that increases the noise to a point where the sound is just a wall crushing my head. There’s no way to have a real conversation either and I can’t stand nodding and smiling at BS.

I’m not talking about big open spaces like fairs or even restaurants that are designed for a lot of people. I’m talking about large social events where people are mashed together in rooms to be with each other. I just hate that. Why would I choose to go to such a thing when I could stay home with my boo kitty?🐱

5. Have you spoken to a therapist/psychiatrist in regards to being Isolated/Introverted?

No. Why would I? I’m fine!

6. What is a normal day being in your shoes?

I commute to work alone in my car to a small office where there is a moderate amount of talking, depending on the day and what needs to be done. Some days I’ll have a phone chat with one or both of my daughters for 20 minutes or so. Generally, I don’t socialize much with friends during the workweek. At night, I’ll do extra work, read, blog, etc.

7. If you were ever asked to go to dinner/party, would you go?  If not, what kind of excuses have you made up to get out of going?

Most weekends I do some sort of social thing that includes dinner, usually a potluck, followed by board games. But it’s with a reasonable number of people, like 10, not 100. Sometimes I’ll go to lunch with one friend, or to the movies with a few, or drive up to Los Angeles to hang with my family and whoever else might be at their place. I am not opposed to people! But they do need to be rationed, like cookies. Too many at once and I’ll just barf.🤮

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ40: Control Freak

Fandango provocatively asks…

“How much control do you believe you have over your own life?”

Not much!

Now, that might strike some as a strange response, given that I’m sort of a control freak, but I think some of us CF types are that way precisely as a reaction to how little control we actually do have.

I mean, there’s really nothing I can do about so many things. Natural disasters come when they will, and sure I can have some bottled water and flashlights on hand, but I doubt those will help me in a real crisis. I don’t have the resources to create an underground bunker, assuming you can get to one in time and can last out whatever thing. What do you do in said bunker if you have a heart attack and need a doctor? Do you kidnap one and bring him with you just in case? How about surgery and meds?

Unnatural disasters are pretty much the same thing. I drive defensively, but there’s always some idiot blasting out of nowhere ~ and indeed one hit me and sped off three years ago. You try to plan for the “black swan,” but the one that appears is often not the one you modeled. I stay home a lot to avoid people and accidents, but a while back I fell in my bathroom and cracked my head on the tub.

Shit happens, and it keeps coming. I was contentedly living in my cozy apartment when the owner decided to switch things up, brought in a management company, and raised the rent 25%. Nothing I could do. Moving is expensive; housing in SoCal is insane. Leaving the area for a cheaper one… and hope to get a new job in my late 50s? Umm. I do feel trapped like a mouse.

How do I cope? Obsessively arrange my paper clips and shoes. Make sure all my socks are folded the same way. Keep items at right angles. Create lots of lists so I can cross things off. This all gives me the illusion of control in a chaotic world. But I know nothing is really in my control and that sucks.

(I am not seeking advice. Thank you!)

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.