God was inspecting the various heavenly sectors, as he did from time to time, to make sure all was running smoothly, which of course it was. This was heaven, after all, not some mismanaged junkyard. But it was a big place, and his knees were getting tired from schlepping up and down all the stairs. He was older than, well, God. He laughed at his circular logic, ignoring the side eye from a passing angel.
He pushed the button for the elevator. What was taking so long? He’d have to file another complaint. Finally, the car stopped and he got on. But he wasn’t alone.
“Hey, God. How are you?” the youngish male occupant said.
God searched his memory, which took longer than it used to. But there were more things in there, so that was okay! “Zack,” he said. “The inventor who choked to death on a beyond burger. I’m good, and you?”
“Fantastic actually!” Zack beamed. “I’ve come up with a great idea for you.”
Oh no, God thought. Halp! “What?”
“I know you love horses, so I’ve invented a small white one with a golden horn. It’s very pretty and will remind people of your awesomeness.”
God frowned. “Why? I don’t have a horn.”
“Because it’s gold and points to heaven, showing people the way to eternal life if they stay good and stuff.” Zack gestured upward, though they were already up, and the car had stopped.
“And stuff,” God muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Fine. Show me the little horse,” he said as they exited. “But make it quick. I don’t have all day to look at everyone’s cockamamie–”
God came to an abrupt halt and pointed to an adorable creature frolicking on the grass. “Is that him? He’s so cute! Look how his mane sparkles! Oh my me, I love him!”
“Yay,” Zack said. “I’m so happy I’ve pleased you.”
“Give me a hundred and I’ll put them back on Atlantis,” God commanded. “Can you make some in different colors?”
“Sure! I’ll get to work right away.”
God trundled off to inspect billionaires’ row. Haha, just kidding. There are no billionaires in heaven! 😜
Written for Sadje’s What Do You See?
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