Tag Archives: techyness

The Glitches Go On…

I just got notified by email of a new follower (someone whom I thought was already following me), so I popped over to the app to check my list.

Things simply are not going well for me lately. 😢

A Glut of Glitches

Mistakes have been made,

But no one will be blamed…

“These things happen.”

Maybe some are my fault;

It’s hard to know exactly

Where the fingers slip

And the glitches begin…

Symptoms of the po-mo age,

And it could be worse–

It could be raining.

I should disconnect,

Go gridless and rest,

Get some exercise

Emerge from my nest

Of electrical tech

Into the sunshine.

That sounds sublime,

But I’d feel so alone

Without all the souls

Who live in my phone.

The Weekly Smile

I’m excited to report that I’ve just finished my list of A2Z items for the April blogging challenge! YIPPEE!! 😀😀😀😀😀

I hope all my fellow bloggers are joining in for the joyous camaraderie of committing to post every day in April, except Sundays, and choosing a theme (or just go with misc.). I can’t wait to read the interesting entries I’ve seen so far ~ symbols and signs, creatures from mythology, a fruity motif, etc.

Anyway, my theme is romance reviews, and I’m doing about half novels and half romantic comedies. Tonight my focus has been on getting my list together, but I got stuck on some of the tough letters. That gave me a sad. I really didn’t want to end the day unsatisfied with an incomplete list. But then I had the idea to enter search words into my Kindle app (for iPhone) and OMG amazing! It found books I’ve already read and new ones that sound cool, so I grabbed samples to see if I want to buy them. Neato!

For example, I found a romance novel titled Until We Kissed, which is about a librarian and a writer. You really can’t get more perfect than that, amirite? I would never have found this book on my own without obsessively searching for a word starting with U.

I like apps that are dedicated to one thing. It’s becoming hard to search for things on Google and Amazon because they have too much ~ unless you already know what you want, of course. But sometimes it’s nice to browse. The Kindle app was more like being in a bookstore. I didn’t end up with kitchen gadgets when I wanted books. Not to besmirch gadgets. They have their place.

The Backup

He read the sages daily

And followed their advice.

He kept a careful backup,

In case things went awry.

He didn’t think about it,

Until the market crashed,

And his current girlfriend

Traded him for cash.

Then his Benz got repo’d;

The bank sent an NOD,

So, he felt down and gloomy

And needed company.

He texted dear old backup:

How about a little fun?

She said, oh I thot u died,

Dint hear frm u so long.

Turned out she got married;

It’s all his own fault–

If you have a backup,

Keep it locked inside a vault.

~*~

Prompt from the Carrot Ranch

First World Problem

So, I stayed in bed extra long this morning because it was around 27 degrees in my apartment and I didn’t want to brave the frozen air. My cat seems to be super energized by the cold though. He’s so weird. Anyway, my phone battery finally lost all charge, at which point I got up.

Took a hot shower, had hot tea, yada. Now my phone was charged a bunch, so I sat down to deal with things again, but half my apps didn’t know me including WP. Fine whatever. Logged in, etc.

But when you re-log-in to the WP app, it doesn’t behave like other apps. The Gmail app, forex, will have your draft emails. The Twitter app keeps your saved stuff. But WP? Nope. All my saved searches and posts were wiped out. This is why I have no FOWC, WOTD, RDP, etc. Sure, I could go find them again, but meh.

I also read an article today about detoxing from your phone. I thought, welp, this is a good start, since I lost my prompts and am now forced to work on my to-do list. I got a lot done. There’s always more though. So much more.

I’ve also been reading depressing articles about selling books via Amazon. Might have to rethink where I want to sell my next one. Every good thing gets ruined by greed and scammers. 😢

Hope everyone is having a good Saturday. I’m going to continue to slog away. Posts have been scheduled ~ enjoy! 🎶

Questions

After some posts, I occasionally see a sentence: “[Linked title of post] first appeared on [linked title of blog].”

Why? Is this supposed to prevent people from stealing posts? Lol, good luck with that.

Also, in several cases, I see that the second link isn’t working and it’s a blank. I guess people have goofed it up.

In a further development to this, there are blogs that don’t bother with the text of the post at all! There is simply some variation of the quoted sentence. I assume the blogger expects me to click the link and visit the post outside my app reader, where I will be subjected to a barrage of ads on my browser. Ads don’t appear on my app. Sorry about that (not).

I guess this post was more crabbing than questioning, wasn’t it? That’s rhetorical.

Happy Friday! 😀

Who Doesn’t Love Pizza?

Omg, I’m composing a blog post on my laptop like a normal person! Next thing you know I’ll be washing my clothes in the river and churning butter or something. It must be all this old-fashioned music… no actually I’m downloading the latest phone update and it’s taking forever. So annoying.

Anyway, I googled up love songs from the 1950s and lyricists were back to being all serious again, cuz luuuuuv is indeed serious business, but then I found one of my all-time faves, written for Dean Martin in 1953 by Jack Brooks and Henry Warren. The story behind it is almost as funny as the song itself.

Without further ado, I present… “That’s Amore!” In case you’re confused about amore, or any of the song lyrics, this vid provides very detailed illustrations. It’s hilarious!

V4L Challenge 5

A Day in the Life of Cupid

When we last left our intrepid hero, he’d been comforting his girlfriend at the hospital on Valentine’s night after buying her drugstore candy with nuts in it to which she was allergic. But now it’s back to work for Cupid. He’s Project Manager at Love, Inc. and his days are hectic. Today is no exception.

Cupid arrived at his office early at 8am, hoping to get a bunch of work done before the crew came in. He’d bought an egg and cheese muffin and a large coffee to fuel himself up for the tasks ahead.

First, he remembered to text his girlfriend and ask her how she was feeling after the candy ordeal last night. She didn’t respond right away, but that was probably because she was busy at work too. They’d only had two dates so far, plus the funny hospital mishap, but Cupid had a good feeling about their potential. Chantal was a really sweet, understanding person.

Just as Cupid started to plow through his pile of unread emails, the head arrower stopped by his desk.

“Sorry to bother you, boss,” the HA said. “But I thought you should know that the new batch of arrows are at least twenty percent defective. The rest of the crew is experiencing the same.”

“Darn it!” Cupid said. “I recommended we stay with Universal Arrow, but was overruled because they wanted to cut costs.”

The HA nodded. “These are definitely inferior.”

“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll make a report.” Great, thought Cupid. Another task for the to-do list. But this one was high priority.

Cupid shot off a report about the defective arrows to his Operations Director and then returned to his other tasks. But he was soon interrupted again.

“Excuse me,” one of the new arrowers said. “But I ran into a problem on Valentine’s Day. My target was hit again an hour later because she hadn’t disappeared from the list. The same thing happened three more times with different targets as I discovered just now when I compared notes with a coworker.”

Cupid’s naturally calm and cheerful demeanor faded into anger. He realized immediately this was due to yet another boneheaded cost-cutting measure some of the Directors had insisted upon. His Director was a good guy, but had voted in favor of the measures regardless in hopes of getting concessions from the other Directors in return. “Politics,” he had said to Cupid at the time.

Now Cupid said to the arrower, “I’m sorry that happened. It’s the new software. We’ll alert them to the problem and hopefully it can be a simple fix.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’ll tell the others. It’s really sad when we set up a promising situation and it all falls apart because of some technical glitch.”

Cupid agreed with her. He called Hearts Aflame, the new software company, and put in a help ticket with Quality Control. They promised to give his issue their fullest attention just as soon as his number came up in the queue. It was 37.

Next, he attended a luncheon seminar slash sexual harassment program that all Project Managers were required to attend quarterly. It lasted two hours and they received free chicken pesto sandwiches, sodas, and handbooks on how not to be jerks, and then they watched a movie on how to deal with any jerks on their crews. Now it was 3pm and Cupid still had at least a full day’s work left.

At 7 he decided enough was enough and went to the gym. He felt like skipping it, going home, and flopping on the sofa, but thinking about his hot new girlfriend motivated him to go. He did a quick workout, showered, and headed back to his pad. It was after 9 and he was wiped out. As he nuked a frozen burrito, his phone dinged with a new text. Chantal!

Hi, sorry to do this over text, but I’ve met someone else. Thought you should know. It just happened all of a sudden like a bolt out of the sky. Take care. C

💔💔💔💔💔

Journal: Week 3

16. My personal gifts are intelligence, creativity, and reliability.

17. A quote that inspires me is: “perfection is the enemy of the good.” I tell myself some form of this at least once a day so I can get things done. Otherwise… gahhh!

18. A mistake that helped me grow was when I wrecked my laptop and had to learn to do without for a while.

19. I feel most rested on Sunday mornings usually.

20. Words I want to share? I think it would be great if everyone took a step back from their political positions and tried to see other points of view. There’s just waaay too much hatred and mockery around. Look how it isn’t helping anything and things are only getting worse. You don’t have to wait for them to be better people first ~ you can be better!

21. Music that makes me feel adventurous? Classic rock!

22. Three words that describe my style are: frumpy, boring, grandma. 😂

A Very Norty Christmas [an impish tale 1247]

Santa banished the Norty Imps to the dusty old storeroom. “You troublemakers stay out of my way until after Christmas,” Santa said. “I’ve got work to do and can’t be bothered with your shenanigans today of all days!”

The imps were sad for a mo, thinking they were going to be bored out of their silly heads for the next 24 hours, until one of them began opening the boxes in the back.

“Looky!” he cried. “Norty fings!”

He held up a black lacy bra and thong set. The other imps scampered to the boxes to find more norties. “A dildo!” “A norty book!” “A purple vibrator!”

“No one wants them anymore,” one imp said. “Everyone asks for iPhones. What can we do with these?”

“Send them to a church full of nuns!” another imp suggested.

The Norty Imps cheered and jumped for joy at the idea of a fun new tricksy plan.

One of the imps pulled out his iPad. “I’ll make a list with directions for the ‘deers.”

“Which ‘deers?” another said. “They’ll know the list ain’t all official like.”

“I know just the ones,” iPad Imp said. “Quick, help me break out of here. Who has the key codes?”

*

Ipad Imp approached the group of reindeer at the North Pole Starbucks who were all texting on their phones. “Hey, guys. Job for you.”

Sierra looked up. “Huh? I thought Santa gave out all the assignments yesterday.”

“This is a special late job,” Ipad Imp said. “He thought you might be suited for it, being so technically adept and all.”

“Oh yah,” Bruno said. “I’m totes into tech.”

“There you go then.” Ipad Imp grinned at the group. “I’ll just share my GPS file with you and Bob’s yer uncle.”

Giselle frowned at him. “Who’s Bob?”

The imp rolled his eyes. “Never mind that. Finish your drinks, go potty, and I’ll take you to the sleigh. We gots it all loaded up nice and full, ready to go.”

*

Roxy poked Clove with her hoof. “Dude, I think we should have arrived by now.”

They’d been flying for hours through the dark velvet skies. It was snowing now and Roxy was bored. Her movie had failed to load on her FlyPad. Annoying!

Clove removed his earbuds. “What? Are we lost?”

“I’m not sure,” Roxy said, “but this is taking forever. Ask Sierra if she downloaded the GPS update.”

Clove pulled Sierra’s tail and asked her. “No,” she said. “I forgot to check for updates before we left because of all the drama with my ex. But Bruno has the list.”

Bruno turned around. “Did someone say my name?”

“Are we lost?!” Roxy yelled.

“I took the scenic route!” he laughed.

Giselle began to cry. “I have a breakfast date with Noel.”

“Wait,” Sierra said. “Since when are you going out with Noel?”

“You guys broke up like a week ago,” Giselle sniffled. “So, why do you care?”

“Um, hello. We were only taking a break a week ago,” Sierra said. “That’s not being broken up.”

Roxy butted in, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this here?”

“Do what?” Giselle said. “Like why do I have to apologize for anything?”

“I don’t think she asked you to apologize,” Clove said. “But we’re really trying to find this church full of nuns.”

“Hey,” Noel called from the back. “I see a church.”

Bruno shook his head. “My GPS from the imp doesn’t list a church there. It’s supposed to be around the block.”

They flew around the block, but there was no church.

“Are we in the right town?” Sierra asked.

“Do I look like an idiot?” Bruno said. “Silver Springs, em eye.”

“Michigan, okay.” Roxy shrugged. “Let’s go.”

*

The hackers worked diligently in the abandoned church, hoping to have their entire evil scheme completed at 3am on Christmas morning. The world would slowly wake up to the fact that they were in charge and begin to understand the futility of resistance. Soon the ransom money would flow into their offshore accounts or else worldwide energy grids would become dysfunctional.

“Utterly brilliant,” Hank said. “Pure mad genius.”

Hugh nodded. “Almost there. Hester?”

“Capturing Japan right now. Another few minutes.” Hester looked up and smiled.

“The best thing is that we stay undetected until we decide to show our strength,” Hank said. “It really–what’s that noise?”

Hester went to the window. “I don’t see anything, but I hear clomping on the roof.”

“You guys,” Hugh whispered, “look.”

Around the old stone fireplace the air began to shimmer and fill with sparkling snow. Through the fog, six reindeer materialized holding gift bags in their mouths and with more gifts piled on their backs. They gently deposited these around the fireplace as the hackers watched in stunned silence.

“Where’s your tree?” one reindeer asked.

Another one said, “You don’t look like proper nuns. Roxy, aren’t they supposed to be all girls?”

“That one’s a girl.” “What about those two?” “Where are all the churchy things?” “Are you sure this is right?” “Lemme see that list?” “This says em oh not em eye.” “What?” “Missouri!”

“SHUT UP!” Hank yelled, pulling out a gun.

One of the reindeer began to cry. “Noel, help!” “What am I supposed to do?” “Okay, I’m downloading the updates.”

“Maybe we should just shoot them,” Hester said.

Hugh shook his head. “They may be on the endangered list. We don’t want to call attention to ourselves. Let them just poof out of here the way they came.”

*

Retired Lieutenant Stan the Dogwalking Man was very grumpy about the fact that Lucky McMuttface insisted on going out to do his biz in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. Stan suspected it was due to all the scrummy treats people had been surreptitiously sneaking to Lucky when Stan wasn’t looking. As they walked past the abandoned church on Third Street, Stan heard yelling and crying inside, which wasn’t right. He immediately texted his old buddies down at the station house and a minute later the street was filled with police cruisers.

*

Back at the North Pole, on the day after Christmas, Santa congratulated everyone on another successful holiday. “And I want to give a particular shoutout to my newest team, headed by Bruno, who cleverly managed to foil a group of criminals. The Silver Springs police department is giving all six of you honorary badges.”

“Ooh badges!” Giselle exclaimed. “Noel, could you fasten mine please?”

Sierra rolled her eyes.

As Santa’s elves and reindeer headed off to the post-Christmas party, he said, “Hold on a minute, you lot.”

Ipad Imp batted his eyelashes. “Do you mean us?”

“Don’t you give me that phony innocent look,” Santa said. “I know you Norty Imps had something to do with that mess in Missouri. What happened to the stuff in the storeroom?”

The imps began fidgeting and giggling, earning them a glare from Santa. “Knew it! Spill the beans, Norties!”

The imps began making farty noises, as they always did when commanded to spill the beans. This sent them further into paroxysms of laughter. Santa growled and stomped his foot.

“I’m warning you!”

Ipad Imp held up his hands in mock surrender. He controlled his giggles and said, “We donated the norty gifts to the police officers gag gifts fundraiser. That nice retired cop thought it was hilarious!”

“One day you imps will go too far.” Santa shook his head. “But today… let’s party! Eggnog and cookies await us. Merry Christmas!”