Sharing is Scaring!

I haven’t done a Melanie SYW post in a while, in keeping with my plan to jabber less about my boringness and simply write more fiction (and poetry). However! I could not resist this awesome spooky pic.

Without further ado…

Questions Of The Day

1. Had any good conversations with yourself lately? Did you listen to yourself? And how’d that work out for you?   (Credit Allie Bean   https://thespectacledbean)

I’m always jabbering on and on so much I have to tell myself to STFU so I can get stuff done. Honestly! The problem with me is that I can’t just have a normal convo with myself, no… I have to scamper down all the rabbit trails until I end up at the big bang. So to speak. Mostly they weren’t all that big, if you know what I mean (and I think you do). See? 🙄

Do I listen to myself? Well, I try not to cuz of all the stupid jokes and whatnot, but sometimes I’m so bored I do pay attention to my own gibberish and then ugh I have to disentangle myself from the drama and illogic like 87 strands of Christmas lights that are all plugged in at once without electrocuting myself.

2. What is gravity and how does it work?

3. What is more real – Mind or Matter?

I’m a materialist, so I say matter. This is not to be confused with being materialistic. I simply believe that physical reality is all there is… no souls, ghosts, gods, vampires, genies, fairies, demons, etc. Feelings are real ~ they are our brain’s reactions to the minute changes of chemicals in our blood. I know this is all terribly unromantic. I am sorry. It’s okay to write fiction and poetry about things that don’t exist though! 💖

4. Should a vegetarian (or vegan) eat animal crackers? 

No one should eat them; they’re just empty carbs. I guess you could put peanut butter on them though and that would be okay.

Lastly
Halloween Question:
(Gratitude questions will resume after Halloween is past)
Name (describe) something you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark and deserted wood or alley.   Politicians are a given, so skip those please.  Thanks! 

These are places I avoid, but occasionally I come home late and my parking lot is dark, deserted, and a bit scary. Sometimes there are people poking in the garbage bins, and I go the other way (the long way around) to avoid them, if it’s dark. I’m sure they’re fine, but why take a chance? 👻

But mostly I’m wary of coyotes. People around Orange County are constantly going on about “the coyote problem” and that audacious coyotes are taking over our neighborhoods. I’ve seen photos of these handsome creatures lounging in parks and strolling down our sidewalks and streets, apparently unconcerned about humans nearby. They grab kitties and doggies and nom them up! (Keep pets inside!) Well… I have lived here since 1983 and have never seen a coyote, but I fully expect to. And I am on the lookout.

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Show & Tell

Warning: this turned into a rambling pointless bunch of jabbering. More than usual. 😂

Melanie haz questions:

1. Was the last thing you read digital or print?

I’m not counting online “news,” since that’s like reading cereal boxes. Actually, it would probably be more informative to read cereal boxes (note to self: buy some Cap’n Crunch). The last book I read on my Kindle was Not Quite Dating, which I already reviewed for the alphablog and am now done with all those posts, yay! So, that leaves Us Magazine, which hits my mailbox every Saturday. Why? I dunno! I’m certainly not paying for it. Somehow, a free subscription has been gifted to me and it shows up every week. I spend a couple minutes paging through and then toss it. Can’t remember anything much about this one except the spread of celebs in their wine colored dresses. Every issue has two pages near the front with a clothing theme. I do like themes. Oh, Kate Hudson was in this issue too. She’s 40 and happy. I’m happy she’s happy cuz I like her.

2. Are you more an extrovert or introvert?

According to the definition, I’m an introvert. My friends also call themselves introverts, but they always want to get together, which I find curious. Shouldn’t they need to spend lots of time alone, as I do? Granted, I have been more social than normal lately due to Game of Thrones, but that’s temporary. It’ll be over in a month. There is something particularly compelling about the ending to this dramatic and complex show that makes it fun to watch and discuss with others. Most of the time however I have no need for that and prefer to watch things alone. I crave alone time to think and read and write in peace and quiet. It recharges me. Too much peopling makes me literally crazy and I feel the air getting so heavy with noise and vibration and other people talking moving breathing that my body will crush and implode if I don’t get away.

3. How is your life different from what you imagined as a younger person?

When I was a teenager, I imagined myself becoming a career-focused professional, possibly a scientist. I wasn’t dreaming of marriage and children, but that is what I did. Next, I assumed I’d be married for the rest of my life; when I divorced, I thought I should find someone else. It didn’t occur to me until relatively recently that I would spend my life alone, but now that I’ve accepted it, I’m fine. It might be the ideal state for me, even.

4. Do you think about dying?   Does death scare you?  Why or why not?

I think about it a lot. It used to terrify me ~ when it first hit me that I would die and be erased, I freaked out. I was 12 and in a car with my parents coming back to NJ after visiting peeps in Ohio. I knew earlier that I would die, of course, but the impact of the erasure didn’t affect me until that moment. I mentioned I was upset and my parents dismissed my concerns. For a long time, I was angry at them over this, but I’ve come to understand they did the best they could.

I didn’t sleep for a year ~ at least, this is how I remember it. I stumbled through the days, exhausted but somehow not letting on I had this enormous burden. And I must have slept some or I would have died or become ill, but I remember all that year lying awake utterly terrified, making words out of words in my head. My schoolwork wasn’t affected, so no one knew or cared.

Eventually, I grew to live with the bleak erasure knowledge. It’s what keeps me sympathetic to religious believers. Of course you would take the comfort of an afterlife option if it were intellectually available to you! You’d have to be nuts not to grab onto that if there were any way to make sense of it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it fit into my logical brainspace. I wish I could.

Lately though, I’m not so afraid any longer. Maybe it’s because I am just so damn tired of being in pain every day. At least that will stop, which is something to look forward to, blissful non-awareness of aches and migraines. I also won’t have to think about all the things I’ve failed to accomplish, what a freaking relief. Not to mention all the mistakes I’ve made, gahhh. All erased from MY mind, since there won’t be any more “my mind.” And if others criticize or gossip, I won’t know, so I won’t care. Nice!

Plus, things are getting old as I’m getting old. Samey same same same. Sure, I still enjoy stuff, but meh. As someone I once loved said: “Do I really care about seeing the millionth issue of the New York Times?”

It’s his birthday today, btw. Happy birthday to the man who broke my heart. Still much older than I am. Still living in a big lonely house with his wife and their money. Now we’re all unhappy, great.

5. Gratitude challenge: find something you are thankful for in nature.

California mountains and beaches and sunsets and flowers, of course…

April Sharers

Questions from Melanie…

1. What does a successful relationship look like to you?

Kind, loyal, supportive, affectionate, good-humored, self-contained at least some of the time if we’re talking about a romantic relationship (as opposed to the need to constantly involve other people because the two primaries don’t actually get along all that well and/or don’t have enough in common).

2. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?

Word search puzzles.

3. What do you wish you knew more about?

Hard science, especially physics.

4. What is better in your opinion – asking for forgiveness or permission?

Depends who we’re talking about. With my kids and their husbands, permission. I’d never intentionally transgress family boundaries. With other people, meh.

GRATITUDE QUESTION

What’s the best thing about your life right now?

My children, always. 💖💖💖💖💖

Monday Morning

Share Your World questions from Melanie/Sparks:

What is the best pick me up that you know of?  To shake you out of the blues?

Fixing the problem. But talking to my daughters helps, and sometimes friends are helpful too.

What would be the title of your memoir?

Eat Dessert First.

Where do you like to go when you eat out?

A bakery.

Do you believe in luck?

I’ve had a lot of bad luck lately, but I guess that’s balanced out by the times I didn’t die doing stupid things, so… maybe.

Aside from necessities, what is one thing you couldn’t go a day without?

I really miss my kitty when I go away. He’s my little furry soul boo. 🐱💖

Monday Night Share

Heyyy! It’s me! With my nighttime post.

QUESTIONS from Melanie:

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?  If you don’t think Heaven nor God exists, you might want answer by saying something outrageous, just for fun!

“MEOW”

 What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

The fact that Game of Thrones will soon be over and gone forever.

 What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?

 That I should do my will and health directive thingie.

How would you rate your memory? 

Vastly variable. Sometimes I can remember trivia from ages ago; other times I can’t remember something important from last week. At work, I write everything down, which helps immensely, but otherwise it’s just like whatever. Have I mentioned I make a zillion lists? This is why. In general, if I don’t care about something, I’m not too likely to remember it.

And lastly:

What’s one song that always cheers you up, no matter how blue you’re feeling?

Sorry, can’t choose only one!

Share Bear 🐻

Sparks has another installment of Share Your World for us today.

^^^ There’s a lil taste of SoCal for anyone who might be wondering about the glam life I lead out here on the Left Coast.

QUESTIONS:

What, in your opinion, is the point to life?

– There is no point. What I mean by this is that I don’t believe we will be rewarded or punished by a supernatural force who is keeping track of our good and bad deeds on a holy spreadsheet. If something is good, then we should do it because it’s good, not for points. Live a good life now, and don’t do bad things. Why not? Because they’re bad. If you’re an adult, you shouldn’t need a cookie for not being bad. Mmm cookies! Maybe cookies are the point? Note to self: more research needed.

What was your most recent lie?  You don’t have to get really specific obviously.

– I’ve quit lying. No, that’s not a lie! The reason I used to lie so much was due to my upfucked romantic situations. Some of the lies were told because I legit perceived some men as threatening, physically or emotionally. Some were simply told out of convenience. Some to spare guys’ feelings, rightly or wrongly. But all that is over. What a blessed relief!

What country do you consider the strangest?   (it’s all In fun folks, ALL countries may seem strange to outsiders)

– The USA. I’m saying this both because I’m unfamiliar with other countries and cuz I do think we’re a bit weird here. Take our politics. Please! Take it away, far away. And we’re so bizarre about sex, both fetishizing it and acting so damn Puritanical about it. I mean, we love our skimpily dressed stars, but GOD FORBID one of them breastfeeds her baby in public. Ewwww boobs. Gross! Put that thing away. Do it in the bathroom.

What’s your funniest story involving a car?

– Hard to choose. How about the time I was driving my daughter home from a trip to register for something or other at UCSD, was trying to find a place for lunch off the freeway, ended up in the wrong lane, and got trapped into the visitors’ line at the marine base. Once in the line, you were not allowed to escape. And it was a long damn line. We almost starved to DEATH! When we got up to the front, I explained that we only wanted lunch and the nice marine dude said this happens and told me how to turn around and leave. So embarrassing. We found a Hawaiian barbecue place around 2pm and decided it was the best food ever, but it really wasn’t. When I had it again another time, I realized it was only bland chicken and macaroni salad.

GRATITUDE

Do you have something you’re very thankful for or that showed immense kindness toward yourself or someone?

– Heat. It’s been really cold here. I’m extremely grateful to whoever discovered fire, and I’m betting it was a woman. Why do we assume it was a man? We’re the ones who are always freezing! 🥶

Daring to Share [SYW]

Lately it’s been rainy and cold (for SoCal), so I’d like to “share” that with you as a lead-in to complaining about migraines and aches and pains. Wah wah wah. I haven’t been very productive this weekend or worked on my novel at all because I felt like relaxing and goofing off in Blogland. Pffft.

Questions from Sparks

If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

– Read, write, watch movies on TV. Omg I’m so boring! But those are the things I like to do.

What job would you be terrible at?

– Anything that involves talking to people much more than I do now. Sales, customer service, retail, teacher, nurse, reporter, cop.

When was the last time you climbed a tree?

– 45 years ago?

Do you count your steps? 

– No, thank God, there’s one obsession I don’t have.

Bonus question (just because it’s really silly)   What’s the dumbest way you’ve injured yourself?

– There was the time I tried to open that stupid plastic on a bottle of Snapple with a sharp knife and it slipped and gashed my finger so badly I needed stitches. No, I wasn’t a kid. This was around 2010. 🙄

Melanie skipped the gratitude section, but I want to give a shout-out to my awesome daughter for driving down here yesterday with cutest baby so we could all have a fun visit at my place. 💖💖💖

The Sharey Fairy…

… has alit! 🧚‍♀️🌺

Melanie has some questions for us again.

What’s wrong but sounds right?

– “Forgive and forget.” Who came up with this nonsensical saying? Obviously a conman or liar of some kind, but most likely a man. Come on, honey, I swear I’m sorry, and I’ll never do that again. Why can’t you trust me? You know I love you and only want the best for us. You’re just making everyone unhappy by harping on that one bad time. And that other thing. Yes, I realize it was just last night, but I’ve totally changed! 🙄🙄🙄

What physical action or gesture do you find romantic?

– Buying me a house with a catio. Signing the mortgage documents is a physical act. 😀💖🐈

What’s something you really resent paying for?

– Spectrum $76/month for home Internet only, but there is no better option. I don’t want to bundle into a plan with a bunch of crap I don’t need, etc.

What’s your favorite romance movie?  A movie you may find romantic, even if that’s not the genre.  I’ve been watching a lot of those lately, loosely titled “romance movie” and found a surprising number of dramas, action and comedy among the hearts and flowers.

– I see everyone has been bagging on the romcoms as if it’s uncool to like chick flicks if you’re a chick 🐥. Well, bring them over here! You’ve Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, 27 Dresses, An Officer and A Gentleman, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Mamma Mia, Knotting Hill, Four Weddings and A Funeral, Hitch, Crazy Rich Asians, Zorro, etc.

And of course we have our gratitude of the week question:

What were you uplifted by in the past week?

– Photos of my grandbaby and grandpuppy, phone chats with my daughters, getting back in the zone on my novel.

Sharing is Baring [SYW]

Questions from Melanie (who got them from some man but like who cares?)…

1. You’re walking in a forest and you find a black suitcase.  Inside it is one millions dollars and a piece of paper, stained in blood and bearing the single word “Don’t!”  Would you take the suitcase home or leave it?

– This is from Plots R Us. Greedy Gertie takes the money, which is marked, and then she’s tracked and murdered. No thx. Leave it alone. (PS: I wouldn’t be walking in a forest ~ that sounds waaay too much like a dreaded “hike.” 🙄)

2. Imagine you lapsed and cheated on your partner. You feel horrible and you know you’ll never do it again, because the feeling is so awful. Would you confess?

– No. Keep quiet and live with the guilt. That’s the punishment. Why make a second person miserable? Also, wait a few days and you’ll feel less horrible, just sayin’.

3. Would you live your life differently if nobody ever judged you for anything you did?

– Yes. Pesky judges, and juries too. I WUZ FRAMED!

4. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? No? What would you call it?

– A disgust.

5. What’s something that brought joy and lightness of being to you this past week?

– Pepperidge Farm c00kies.

Dare to Share [SYW]

Sparks has some new Share Your World questions for us…

1. If your five year old self woke up in your current body, what would happen, what would you say?

– What’s this kitty 🐱 doing here? I thought we loved puppies! Where’s the snow? Why is the ocean on that side?

2. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Whether you are talking about a romantic one, a friendship, or a related to sort of relationship?

– I don’t have dealbreakers for my children; I will stand by them no matter what. I’m not in touch with other relatives. As far as friends, dealbreakers include racism, disloyalty, criminality, etc. For a romantic partner, the friend reqs would apply as well as a lot more. Romance dealbreakers include: smoking, lying, non-monogamy, disliking cats, allergic to cats, narcissism, selfishness, insanity, lack of mutual attraction, and just being an all-around stupid fucking idiot without regard for other people and animals. And BMW drivers, gahhh!

3. Is there something out there, a thought, an idea, a current event, or a fear that you find deeply unsettling?

– Rightwingism that wants to turn this country into some kind of whites-only women-as-incubators blond Jesusland.

4. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done?

– Killed a man. But he had it comin’!

5. What were you grateful for this week?  Something that brought some joy into your world?

– My wonderful daughters, as always. ❤️❤️