Tag Archives: SOCS

Lip Service ๐Ÿ’‹ [SOCS]

Blips are bad when they appear on your phone, but on an EKG you’d better hope you have some.

Clips of politicians acting like jerks I’d rather not click on whether at home or at work.

Flipping my hair to flirt with a dude is something for which I’ve never been in the mood.

Lipstick is lovely in pink or in red, though it can mess up a collar or a pillow in bed. ๐Ÿ’‹

Slipping and falling flat on my butt I try to avoid though I don’t have much luck.

Tulips can be tiptoed through, or so Timmy sings, but I wouldn’t want to crush one, since they epitomize Spring!

Confab [SOCS]

Fab is a word I associate with the Beatles, but sometimes it’s used to describe the 4 British Royals: William, Kate, Harry, and Meghan. For a short time, I used faboo as an expression of glee, but I quickly grew bored with it. I’m pretty much back to my boring old great! and yay! ๐ŸŽ‰

Last week I stopped in Jo-Ann’s fabrics, but it wasn’t as much fun as I’d remembered. I think my crafting days are kaput ~ except for when my little granddaughter is old enough to make braided lanyard bracelets and paper flowers and beady things. That will be great! ๐Ÿ˜

Fabricate means lie, like prevaricate… though they are subtly different. Fabricate is more about constructing a false body of evidence, while prevaricating is evading the question. But ultimately lying is lying, in my book. I think I forgot to say that in some post or other recently when were gabbing about this topic ~ I was thinking about saying that lies of omission were also lies, but then I omitted it! Oopsy. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Finally, we have fables, which are a great form of storytelling. I’ve always loved fiction, but as an adult I’ve only enjoyed realistic fiction until fairly recently. But in the last couple years, something changed and I became more open minded toward fantasy in fiction. This led me into different genres, such as sci-fi, magical realism, magic in general, shapeshifter romance, time travel, steampunk, dragons… and of course culminating in Game of Thrones.

Have I mentioned that I really really love Game of Thrones??? ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ‰โ„๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Dโ€™oh! [SOCS]

(Sing to “Do Re Mi” ๐ŸŽถ)

D’oh, my dear,

Don’t eat raw dough–

You might get poisoned,

Don’t you know?

Eggs are bad;

New studies just came in–

Toss them all into the bin!

So, about that pyramid?

We’ll keep it for the TV show;

I win, I’m going off the grid…

And that brings us back to dough!

Junk Mail [SOCS]

Linda asks us to talk about our latest piece of mail, but most of my important mail is delivered electronically now. Yesterday I received 3 pieces of junk. One was an ad for the Chinese ballet ~ a full color booklet type brochure. I’m sure it would be fun and beautiful, but also costly, so they’re wasting their money mailing that to me. I rarely spend money on entertainment, and when I do it’s not a fancy ballet ~ maybe $25 for a concert at the fair.

The second thing was Planned Parenthood sending me a new “membership card” and asking for money. I used to give them money, along with some animal welfare orgs, when I felt I had extra, but I stopped years ago. I just don’t feel financially secure enough to donate regularly to charity these days. I do send to Wikipedia because I use it, so I feel guilty not giving a smidge. But once you donate, they never stop asking. Every place I’ve ever given has found me through all my addresses to keep asking for more.

The last was from AT&T. I use AT&T for my phone and Spectrum for my internet at home (with a Roku for connection to Prime, etc.). Every day both AT&T and Spectrum send me email and snail mail to pester me to convert my other service over to them entirely. Such great deals! (Until you read the fine print.) I am not going to convert ~ I like having separate providers. Every once in a while Spectrum is out, and then I still have my phone internet on data. And I don’t want to change things over to AT&T now and be faced with a whopping price increase when the special deal is over.

Yet, they send this garbage out every day. I see that the trash can next to the row of mailboxes is filled with unopened junk from these same annoying companies, along with the flyers of local ads that nobody ever cares about. What a freaking waste of paper!

Little Bit of Soul

Soul mates are the stuff of poetry and romance novels, and who doesn’t love a good fairy tale? It’s hard to believe in a soul mate if you don’t believe in souls though; and souls come packaged up with all that other mystical glitter I can’t quite wrap my brain around. Despite my creative forays, my heart is made of math. One of my favorite lines from a romance novel was “she had his number, and it was 666.” I would credit the book and the author if I could remember either, but I can’t. I don’t think I ever dated the devil, just your ordinary liars and narcissists, but that guy wasn’t the devil of course. They never are, in romance novels. No matter what kind of terrible choice the romance novel heroine appears to be making with her wild and crazy attraction, it’s always exactly the right choice. But that’s because we’re writing her story. I have written my own stories, with my own heroes. Perhaps that’s why I’m solo.

A Bash

Big bashes aren’t my thing. I’m not bashing bashes ~ in fact, decades back, I had fun at big, loud parties. But as my migraines have become more easily triggered, it’s just not that much fun for me to be in huge crowds. I prefer smaller groups where you can have a meaningful conversation or play a game.

Sometimes people act like this preference is a personality flaw, a thing I should feel abashed about, but why should I get over it? It’s simply a preference. I don’t ask them to quit liking huge, noisy venues; I simply decline the invitation to attend.

I’ve noticed this comes up a lot, that things about me are deemed inferior traits. Maybe that happens to everyone, not just me. I understand it’s how they get you to click on articles and then be subjected to ads. Just this morning (yesterday now, since I’m going to schedule this for Saturday), I read an essay saying that people with the Myers-Briggs type that end in “J” have the most trouble dating. I’m an INFJ.

The article didn’t give us tips on how to deal with being a J. Nope. It said we should work on being not-J. The main trait of the J aspect is a dislike of uncertainty. We are list people. We want plans, and we like things to be settled. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t we focus on meeting someone else who enjoys an orderly life? No! Says the article. Change into a la-la type who is fine with maybes and disorder.

Annoying. The article has disturbed me all day. I can’t even concentrate on this awful Jennifer Aniston romcom I was looking forward to.

Yes, yes, I’m all off-topic now, but no one is actually reading this, so like whatever! My consciousness is streaming, which is the important thing.

Celery [SOCS]

Celery contained magical anti-calories, people thought. If you chomped on these stalks, the energy you expended chewing and digesting them would exceed the number of calories in the celery itself. So, all you had to do is eat celery all day and soon you would be celebrating your new trim and fit figure!

But of course if you kept eating pizza and nachos and milkshakes and candy bars with your stalks, the celery diet didn’t work, and you did not end up looking like your favorite celebrity, unless that celeb was President Taft. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Many crazy diets have come and gone since I read about the magic of celery as a teen. Some girls in my high school went on the 3-3-3 diet: 3 bananas, 3 hot dogs, 3 carrots every day. Very phallic. Why doesn’t my phone know phallic? I must not be writing about enough dicks; I blame my DEXIT.

People have jumped on this keto thing, but we all did the Atkins’ fad way back when. It’s nothing new. We’d order bacon double cheeseburgers and throw away the buns, hon. Sure, you’d lose weight because meat is satisfying and pasta is not, ounce for ounce. Sorry, vegetarians. Also, how much cheese can you eat without barfing? ๐ŸคฎThat is rhetorical.

Then came the 1980s when people decided fat was bad and carbs were good. They threw away their butter and chowed down on bagels the size of dinner plates. Why are we getting so fat, they moaned over their vats of spaghetti.

In the 1990s, I watched other moms load up their kids with constant snacks and juices. I tried not to do that; I had my own ideas about nutrition. But kids grow up and have to make their own choices eventually. I did not like to be Dictator Mom, about food or any other thing, except education, and that philosophy worked out well imo.

One of the things now is to shun prepared foods. Oh, that’s the new boogeyman! ๐Ÿ™„ It’s not that we’ve all been stuffing our faces with way too much food for way too long… it’s that we’re not tra-la-la-ing for hours through farmers’ markets every Saturday for fresh produce, and then spending the rest of the weekend cooking from scratch. The heck with writing books or having hobbies! We’re fat because we haven’t been slaving over a hot stove.

Bullshit. I call BS on all ideas of overweight except one: too many calories nommed up. I don’t care if they come from salad or salami or pasta or papayas. Too many in over time leads to fat layers on our bodies. There’s no magic cure except to eat fewer calories over time.

Personally, I love packaged and prepared foods. For single people who don’t want to buy wastefully in bulk, and who don’t want to spend their free time cooking, they are fabulous. But so is celery ~ and it comes in a package too.

Critics Everywhere

It’s so much easier to be critical of others than to look inward, isn’t it? One of the things I dislike most about social media is that it seems to encourage our worst traits of gossip and criticism. Why spend time alone in self-reflection, contemplating ways to improve, when we can jump online and join the chorus of voices ragging on the latest celeb misstep or politician’s faux pas? We don’t even wait for facts because who cares about facts when a mere whisper of a rumor is enough to send hundreds of thousands of critics into a feeding frenzy.

This is why I enjoy my little corner of Blogland, which is full of supportive peeps. If I want critics, I know where to find them.

Hand Over Mouth [SOCS]

Yawning is contagious, or so I’ve heard. If you yawn, I yawn, and then ๐Ÿ’ค off we go to the sweet land of nod? But what if you’re fake-yawning to catch me off-guard, so I begin to doze and you can steal my candy? Snakes “yawn” when a mouse is around, so they can biggify their face to gobble him up. That’s pretty unhinged. I don’t think we catch yawns across species, do we? I’ll have to pay more attention to see if my cat and I synchronize our yawns. Some people yawn noisily ~ why is that? Mostly I think I don’t. It’s easy enough to silence a yawn. Not that we should feel ashamed of being tired. Well, except in limited circumstances, like maybe during sex. I suppose that would be uncool. I can’t remember yawning during sex. Or sex. Oops, getting off-topic! Pardon me. Is that the time? Off to schedule other posts. Busy busy! ๐Ÿ˜€

Adverbs Galore [SOCS]

Quietly the members of the secret society entered the deserted building after hours and softly closed the door.

“This is insanely ridiculous,” Fandango said grumpily. “By the way, I brought those cookies everyone likes.”

“Thanks!” Teresa replied cheerfully. “But that’s what we get for electing a crazy English professor for President, who probably didn’t even read as many books as I did.”

“Let’s be fair,” Sadje said moderately. “We didn’t know she’d act so extremely cuckoo once she took office. I can’t eat cookies, so I brought keto-friendly egg salad.”

Happily munching a cookie, Jim said, “I could easily recommend a playlist to our new President, which might get her in a better mood and less likely to randomly order people killed for misusing grammar.”

“I’m a grammar pendant myself,” Fandango boldly admitted. “But even I say that executing people for a misplaced apostrophe is wildly inappropriate.”

“Pedant,” Kristian mildly corrected Fandango.

Fandango paused in the middle of furiously composing a new blog post on his phone. “What?”

“Pedant!” Kristian loudly repeated. “You said pendant but it’s pedant!”

“It’s just a typo!” Fandango yelled defensively.

“Shhhh!” Teresa hushed them fearfully. “No one can know we’re in here.”

Hopefullyย the President is busy with more important things than our silly little adverb meetup,” Sadje said placatingly.

Terribly sorry I’m ignoring everyone,” Rory called out apologetically from the corner. “What do you all think about prostitution? Please extensively explain your answers.”

Interestingly,” Jim said, “there have been many songs about this topic. Bob Seger, for example–”

Suddenly the door burst open and a group of scarily dressed FBA agents entered.

“Freeze!” shouted the FBA leader. “You’re all under arrest for adverbing! Place your hands over your mouths. Slowly!