Tag Archives: sleep

Seeking Serenity

Calm blue water at sunrise

Sunrise is upon the tide,

Its ebb and flow a soothing guide

To accept the rhythm of this life,

Whether low or high.

Even on a moonless night,

Attraction pulls me to your side.

Soft sand cushions weary feet,

As I thank the susurrus of the sea,

A seamless peace.

Somewhere in that languid deep

Rest promises I failed to keep…

Yet here is the serenity that I seek.

~*~

Written for the Daily Echo.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image found at scvincent.com

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Mama duck and ducklings

Fountain Valley, California’s motto is “a nice place to live.” That sounds boring and bland… which is just perfect for me. I was born in NY, but I have no desire to live in a city that never sleeps. I like sleep! I don’t want noise and lights and excitement happening all night. I’m old. And grumpy. My neighborhood is quiet and dull, which I love. I get a thrill out of seeing the ducks. The immediate area is surrounded by busy streets, but I can tune them out and focus on the cool breeze, trees, and waterfall in my apartment complex. I’m happy here.

Beach ocean sand

We’re not too far from the beach… 15 minutes, depending on which beach you want to go to. When I walk at Crystal Cove, that drive takes a bit longer. It’s inevitable that there will be occasions of snarled traffic in a coastal area, but I’ve learned to live with that. Even though I live in a place that some might consider resort-like, I still gravitate to the tropical theme when I imagine taking a holiday. I don’t actually go anywhere exotic though. Just Los Angeles to visit one daughter, NorCal to see another, and of course Irvine to work.

Hotel Irvine

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images are mine

Friday Night Q’s

Butterfly at night with flowers

Lovely Di @ pensitivity101 has offered us some interesting questions…

1.  What is your first childhood memory?

Waving goodbye to someone. They were on a train and my mom held me to wave. It was probably my father’s parents. I was around 2 years old.

2.  If you dive, what was your first car?

I don’t dive… I dislike going in the water at all. 🤣 I drive though, and the first car I owned was a Renault.

3.  Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods?

4.  Before the lockdown, were you comfortable in a crowd?

I was okay with small groups of friends, 4-10 being the ideal number. I may never go to a fair or concert again because I can’t imagine ever feeling okay about a huge crowd, not that I liked them previously.

5.  Are you a night or day person?

Lately, my sleep schedule has been all messed up. I probably am most productive in the late afternoon and early evening.

6.  Favourite past time?

Writing and reading.

7.  What makes you laugh?

Wordplay mostly.

8.  What makes you cry?

Thinking about my mom…

9.  Compared to your school days, are you more or less creative now?

About the same.

10. What is you pet hate/peeve?

People! 😡

11. What kind of blogs interest you enough to follow?

I like eclectic blogs where the blogger writes poetry and/or short fiction, maybe has a prompt going on to share, and also talks about themselves a little. I don’t like blogs that link news articles (as a whole post) and/or blather endlessly about news in an impersonal way. I don’t want to read conspiracy theories nor will I tolerate even the slightest hint of racism or antisemitism. And if a blog is about selling me something, it had better be interesting and funny.

Timer at night

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Happy Color.

Like A Buttered Eel…

pointless meanderings

Get your mind out of the gutter! I’m talking about Monday and how it slip-slid away from me. All day I was thinking about making a post ~ there were some truly great prompt words that went together nicely (depression, zilch, connect, human, etc.). But I needed to do other things first, mainly work, but also laundry, and I’m determined to start carving out time for exercise (I did). I also cooked a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich, then had to clean up the dishes. Naturally, I made time for chatting with my family because that’s important too. Upshot is that I didn’t open up a new post until 11PM. By that time, the prompts had faded into new ones and I lost my motivation to create fiction.

Speaking of, I’ve been working a lot on Ghosted again. I’m very pleased with the progress right now. It’s always been tricky for me to get the crime just right… complex enough to be interesting, but not so ridiculous that no one can follow what’s going on. It is mainly a family drama after all. And a love story, of course. Where would we be without love stories? I’m not sure my pacing is so great, but I really need it to stay how it is. I’ll edit it at least once more though.

I do have a smile for Trent this week and I’ll write that up tomorrow. Maybe I’ll do the SYW for Melanie too. It didn’t really grab me tonight. Sadje has an interesting picture to prompt us… maybe I can do something with that. And I look forward to the FPQ on Wednesday, as always.

I have loads of books ready to read on my Kindle, but I think I’m gonna try to get a few extra ZZZ’s tonight. Catch you tomorrow!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image originally found at Pixabay.

Exhausting Week…

pointless meanderings

Nice that the block editor keeps the alt text of previous images unlike the classic editor. I’m always forgetting to add it and Ashley says we should. If we copypasta an entire post, of course, the alt text is kept, but (1) I haven’t found the copy button yet on Blocky, and (2) sometimes that’s annoying anyway because you have to delete so much. Ideally, my saved pieces will have All The Things.

This is my first post today (Friday, June 5)… though I realize for some of you it’s already Saturday and you’re onto the Stream of Con thingie. I’ll do that next if I don’t collapse here at the table as I do sometimes. Fan. Fan fan fan. Lots of ways to go there. Again, I failed to do the flashback… maybe that won’t be a regular feechur here any longer, idk. I’m pretty bored with it, plus I like to write new things. I did do a brief search yesterday, but only one year came up and I didn’t like anything. Remember that, even though this blog is a decade old, there were times I didn’t post much and other times I went through and hosed vast amounts of jabber off the sidewalk. That was because (1) I like getting rid of old, negative vibes, and (2) I kept restarting the dating stupidity and thought men might go back and read it and get the (correct) idea that I’m a big crab. I should have been searching for a lobster, or someone relatively crunchy.

I’ve been posting more from my laptop instead of my phone. That’s because my hand hurts. Idk if it’s arthritis or what. It seems like it probably is. In any case, normal typing on a keyboard is much more comfortable for my hand than poking at the phone buttons. That’s why, if anyone wondered, I’ve been using fewer emoticons… sometimes I save a post and then open it on my phone and “decorate” it before publishing, but not always. I told my doctor about my hand on our tele-visit and asked if it was okay to use ICYHOT. He said sure but it didn’t do anything except excite my nerves to distract me from the pain for a bit. Ever since then, the ICYHOT has lost its appeal, lol. Which is great because I have a multipack of the stuff from Amazon that I ordered to get a great bargain. [insert eyeroll]

I had trouble sleeping this week. All the chaos in the streets/media just got to me (again). Worry for myself, my work, my family, their work, health, safety, finances, all of it, circles and ripples and spirals of worry. I haven’t been able to fall asleep for real until way after midnight (sometimes I have a crash nap for a few minutes here & there)… sometimes not until 2AM. And I don’t sleep that much later to make up for it… I am usually awake by 6:30 at the latest, though I will try to doze off and on for another hour, if I can. I get up tired, which I hate, and muddle through the day, sometimes finding energy in the afternoon, depending on the day. It’s just an exhausting cycle. I’m hoping to get it under control this weekend with some good self-care.

Needless to say, I’ve had to focus what little mental sharpness I’ve had on work and there was nothing left for my writing projects. That’s just how it is and I refuse to beat myself up over it. I didn’t go outside and exercise, even though things are opening up, because of the protests and random weird stuff going on. I absolutely do not want to get involved in anything. That’s just how I am, and if anyone has a problem with it, please go rant on your own blog about the joys of activism. I’m in chronic pain and can’t fix the world, sorry. Marching/yelling/being in a glob of people would certainly give me migraines and back pain for days. I was glad to see that the protests in Orange County, California stayed peaceful and purposeful however. That didn’t interest the major news media, since they only want to show violence to get more shares and clicks.

Facebook is a drag. I was happy to return during the pandemic to reconnect with peeps… it was wonderful to be so warmly welcomed back. I totally dug that. It was easy enough to steer clear of most of the ranting politics and instead chat with peeps about their pets and recipes and what-all, but then along came this latest round of screaming. Peeps are diligently reposting links and memes and lecturing everyone else on the exact way to say things and do things and yada yada boo. I do feel proud that I received a “bless your heart” from a Texas conservative. I must be doing something right, eh? Mostly though I tiptoe around now because I don’t need someone to messily explode at me for not wording my feels in the prescribed manner. I hesitate to post anything myself in fear of starting a massive war of words in my comments, since I have friends from all over the political spectrum. Meh.

Twitter is nuts. I keep losing followers, though I don’t say a damn thing. How could I offend anyone? Maybe they die, idk. Yesterday I complained about my sinking stats and a few returned. Who even knows what is up with that place. I shouldn’t care about the numbers, and I wouldn’t except they’re right on the splash page of your profile. At least here on WP, I have to click somewhere to look at my pathetic stats. Yes, I know they are bad because I did look. Pffft. Don’t care. WHY don’t I care about my WP stats, when I’m writing here, but I care about my number of Twitter followers, when I barely tweet? There is a mystery…

Okay, this is long. I should go make some tea and write the fan thing now.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image originally found on Pixabay.

Questions a la Di

Hotel Irvine and candy pink clouds

My posting has been a bit sparse lately. A few reasons. I’ve rejoined Facebook, even though it’s horrible. I’m just lonely in this endless isolation and couldn’t resist the re-connection with my peeps there. Also, I’ve been having trouble sleeping and that’s messed up my creativity. I haven’t felt the urge to write much poetry or flash fiction during the lockdown, since I’m so zoned out. I may end up doing more question type posts or “meanders” for a while.

Di @ Pensitivity101 offered these…

1.  Do you cloud watch?

Yes, I love to look at the sky. It’s beautiful, just as the ocean is. Now, I don’t know the names of the types of clouds or formations of stars, but that doesn’t stop me from taking photos and googling stuff for poems. Actually, this is a good time of year for pretty sunsets here at the California coast. I should go outside sometime again and see. The pic of the Hotel Irvine was taken a few years ago.

2. What is your biggest failure in the kitchen?

Where to begin? I accidentally spilled so much pepper into a veal dish once that I had a tummy ache for a week (my ex was fine with the pepper veal). I brought spicy noodles to a gathering of (mostly) elderly people and no one would eat them. They were pretty spicy! I didn’t have time to bake chocolate chip cookies for a man I was dating and he dumped me. Later he said that the lack of cookies made him feel that I didn’t care about him. 😥

3.  Do you prefer a shower or bath, bubbles or lotion?

Shower only.

4. What do you do to calm yourself when angry?

The best thing for me is to get away from whatever is causing it and go home so I feel safe. Usually I would want to make hot tea, cuddle up in my jammies, and think about what happened. Hopefully I’d be able to talk to one of my daughters about it too.

5. Eggs now: do you prefer them scrambled, boiled, poached, fried or in an omelette?

Depends on my mood. Probably a cheese omelette is my favorite, or eggs scrambled with some shredded cheese in them. I like some sautéed mushrooms with either.

It’s 1:42am and I wish I could go to sleep…

~*~

Image is mine.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Come Here Often? [socs]

Stream of consciousness Saturday

The minute you walked in the joint
I could tell you were a man of distinction
A real big spender…

I assume this slang “joint” comes from a place where people join up to hang out, eat, drink, dance, etc. This would be opposed to a marijuana “joint,” which is something that resembles a finger(ish) object, and a finger has joints, where the bones connect. And you create it by rolling it with your fingers. This is all very disjointed, isn’t it? I just read in a Stephen King novella that the rhetorical question such as the one I just asked is a Britishism ~ is it? That wasn’t one. I almost didn’t do this prompt today because I have my Jeopardy post already scheduled for 10AM and don’t need a J-word, but since this isolation thingie I’ve been staying up later and sleeping later (weird!)… so it’s after midnight and I’m not tired at all. I could start the next King novella in my book, I guess. Thanks to Angie for recommending him for my 500+ page bingo spot. Great choice! I don’t know how to tie everything together and end this post in any sort of meaningful or funny way, sorry.

What the heck am I going to peeve about for Monday? It’s hard to get enraged when I’m staying in all day and not people-ing. Let’s have a joint effort here! All ideas welcome.

~*~

Image credited to Shelley Krupa.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Dreamless

You are here

I fell asleep on the bus again,
Or maybe I dreamt I fell
Asleep on the bus.
When I woke
The sky was lavender,
And my hands were cold.
I gathered my things–
Apparently I had shopped–
And maneuvered past
The octopus of legs spread
Across the floor.
These buildings were familiar,
Yet stood asymmetrically
On streets with strange names,
As if a child had flung
All the parts to a game
Haphazardly across a board.
I asked a man for our address,
But he stared uncomfortably.
My words made no sense;
They scattered like coins.
My bag grew too heavy–
I stopped and peeked in.
There were luscious red fruits
That smelled of ripe flesh,
Orchids, and death. Spiders
Danced on their mottled skin.
I left the bag on a bench:
My burdens, my sins.
Soon after, I turned a corner
And found our house, perfect
And clean, but you were gone.
I lay down on our bed,
Falling,
Falling into
A dreamless sleep.

~*~

What Do You See? (Sadje’s #24)

Image from Pexels.

A friend in a poetry workshop shared this challenge with me from a few weeks ago: write a poem with only one fantastical element. “Dreamless” is my response. The one element of magical realism is the image of familiar houses placed crookedly on streets with strange names.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Pandemic Blogging Q’s

Dr. Tanya has some new blogging about bloggers who blog questions for us…

1. How has the Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic affected your blogging? Are you posting more or less than you used to?

I think I’m posting about the same amount, which is once or twice per day. Sometimes I go nuts and make a third post! This is a big cut from a year or so ago when I posted more frequently, but has nothing to do with the virus. I’ve just been making an overall effort to read more books and work on my own backlog of writing ideas.

2. What is the tone of your posts these days, happy, sad, serious, worried?

In general, online and offline, in Blogland and in chats, I’m more serious, less funny, more sensitive, and sadder and crabbier. I haven’t been sleeping well and am greatly negatively affected by having my M-F daily routine of going to the office upended. I don’t do well just drifting through the day aimlessly without feeling useful and productive. Setting cleaning and writing targets doesn’t help, since I have those goals regardless. I don’t need advice, thx.

3. Have you written any posts specifically about the crisis and its effect on your life? If so, please share a link?

I began a series I thought might be amusing about staying home. It wasn’t fun. First, a bunch of other people were saying similar things, so it was boring. Second, right after I began, they closed the beach parking lots, so I couldn’t go walking there and take nice pics, etc. Third, it started to make me more depressed. I decided to abandon the idea.

4. What kinds of posts do you like to read these days? 

My favorite type of posts haven’t changed: good poetry, interesting flash fiction, slices of life that are relatable or quirky or funny. I also enjoy some photo and recipe posts.

The posts I dislike remain the same: links to news articles, copypasta of other people’s writing with little to no original comment, bloggers telling me how I should feel about whatever thing ~ in particular, during this pandemic, I refuse to read posts that insist we should be grateful and thankful when the person posting is not in isolation all alone. Try that for a month and get back to me with the motivational poster bloggery.

~*~

Images are not mine.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

I Think It’s Tuesday #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

Warning: this is not gonna be one of those smell the flowers in the pandemic posts, but there are plenty of those around, so if you would rather read something cheery, move along now.

I’ve been doing my side work from home as usual but not my main work. It would be complicated to set up. The days blend in a haze of sleeping late, sweatpants, coffee, news, news, and more news. 😢

It’s depressing to live this way and never see any of my favorite humans. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit my daughter up North again. Or even see my family in Los Angeles. Everything seems terrifying. But I’ve been staying indoors mostly and not even going for walks. I don’t like getting the mail because I never know if someone will stand too close. Today was okay. No one was at the mailboxes when I was.

The worst thing is reading these constant bits of news and feeling more horrified. But I need to know what’s happening! I live near a busy street and traffic never stops whooshing by… where are they all going? Why aren’t they staying home like they’re supposed to? Aren’t they hearing the same stuff I am? 😡

I’ve been cleaning a lot. I have nothing else to do but keep checking the mishmash of news. I read a book. Probably will read another. Been chatting with friends. I was gonna bake banana bread, but no one else is around to help me eat it, so I didn’t. No need to turn into a chubby hermit. Got bored with the phone games. I’m finally working on Ghosted. 👻 Luckily, I really like it.

I am grumpy and sad. I don’t find the beauty in this. Maybe if I had a partner? Then we could be having luscious sex and engaging in wonderful deep conversations and playing chess and watching lovely old movies and making lasagna and planning our escape from this mad mad world, but instead I just keep checking the cat boxes to make sure no poop needs to be removed.

It’s not that I mind being alone. I like to be alone. It’s the forced aspect of it. And it’s the constant uncertainty in every direction. Health, family, finances, job, future. What’s going to happen? Even if things tentatively begin to improve, will we be re-whomped with this, or a new version, next winter?

Sorry, I can’t put up some Hallmark card type of post. This really sucks. 🙁

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.