Tag Archives: sex

New Year’s Eve Quiz

Let’s see how well you’ve been paying attention to my poasts all year. 😀🎉🎈

1. In preparation for a night of partying on NYE, Paula will spend the afternoon of December 31…

A. Cooking a fabulous meal from scratch for lots of guests.

B. Getting a glam makeover at the salon.

C. Probably reading blogs.

2. When Paula arrives at her NYE destination, she is most likely to jump right into…

A. Chatting with the nearest cat or dog.

B. Networking with a group of business peeps.

C. Dancing like a maniac.

3. What will Paula be drinking on this festive occasion?

A. French champagne, daaaahling.

B. Brewskis!

C. Tea, preferably hot.

4. It’s an hour or so before midnight ~ what’s Paula likely to be doing?

A. Playing a board game.

B. Lighting sparklers on the beach.

C. Prank calling the local PD.

5. What does Paula do when the clock strikes midnight?

A. Grabs the closest man and gives him a big smooch.

B. Screams and yells and makes as much noise as possible.

C. Nothing much cuz she’s tired and wants to go home already.

6. Okay, it’s New Year’s Day, January 1, 2019. What’s Paula up to?

A. She’s begun a whole new life, sailing around the world cuz adventure is her middle name!

B. She’s nursing a wicked hangover and wonders who the strange man is in her bed.

C. Nothing, just chills at home with the cat.

Hey everyone! Have a happy eve and stay safe. See ya on the flip side! 🎉🍾❤️

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After the eggnog is gone…

For today’s challenge (not to be confused with tomorrow’s challenge that I poasted yesterday), Rory asks us to create a top 5 song list for Christmas. Well, I’ve already mentioned my fave xmoose songs a few times, but as we know the holidays see a lot of romantical type breakups. Something about all that pressure and prezzies and fighting over the last perfect tree-shaped c00kie. With that in mind, here are my top 5 songs about breaking up, over the hols or whenevs.

She put a big F-U in my future…

It ain’t me you’re looking for, babe…

The old-fashioned block sender…

Being all philosophical about it…

THE HELL WITH THIS CRAP ANYWAY!

Oopsy, almost forgot my taggaroos. Anyone who has participated in any of the music challenges recently is hereby tagged! Lists please ASAP. Don’t forget to link back to Rory. 🙂🎶

30-Day Song Challenge

Day 24: a band I wish were still together. Welp, I confess I don’t know what Fleetwood Mac sounds like without Lindsey Buckingham, but the whole breakup tale is simply sad. It’s hard to choose a favorite from their best days because they’re all great, but here’s one I love. If you don’t want to watch Captain Kirk, the #me2 H8R, kissing all the girls, best not click. 😂

The Artist’s Woo

Via Bee Halton. This is supposed to help unlock our creativity or summat, idk. It’s from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Can’t hurt eh? Plus, yay questions!

1. My favourite childhood toy was… those horribly unrealistic Barbies that warped my brain. I had bunches of lady dolls and only one Ken, so naturally I created a house of ill repute, as you do.

2. My favourite childhood game was… spies with my friend Cheryl with invisible James Bonds. It took a lot of imagination. I also liked Clue and Battleship with less fanciful friends.

3. The best movie I ever saw as a kid was… Love Story (1970).

4. I don’t do it much but I enjoy… going to museums.

5. If I could lighten up a little, I’d let myself… go to paint night again!

6. If it weren’t too late, I’d… have pizza 🍕!

7. My favourite musical instrument is… the piano.

8. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is… not a lot.

9. If I weren’t so stingy with my artist, I’d buy him/her… more paint nights.

10. Taking time out for myself is… a luxury and a necessity.

11. I am afraid that if I start dreaming… the day will float by with nothing done. Which is what is happening…

12. I secretly enjoy reading… romance novels (not exactly a secret). 😂

13. If I had had a perfect childhood I’d have grown up to be… more confident and independent at a much earlier age.

14. If it didn’t sound so crazy, I’d write or make a… VOODOO DOLL BWAHAHAHA!

15. My parents think artists are… dunno, they’re in a freezer at UCI.

16. My God thinks artists are… spending too much time thinking about God’s thoughts… do we even know God haz a brain?

17. What makes me feel weird about this recovery is… nothing, since I’m not doing it, psych!

18. Learning to trust myself is probably… something I should have done decades earlier.

19. My most cheer-me-up music is… rock & pop oldies. 🎶🎶🎶

20. My favourite way to dress is… warm & cozy.

The Norty Competition

Obviously I’m going to lose this, as I’m not norty enough, but I figure I’ll stay in to give Impy a bottom curve, so to speak, to grade against.

You SAY, you’re Norty, BUT Are You?  Really?

1

Your neighbour next door is creating a helluvva a din!! It’s a Sunday, not even 7am, so nothing decent about it, just bang, bang, bang, whaddya do about it?

Be polite, ignore it or stomp ova there and give ’em a piece of your mind, or maybe, something even nortyier?

– Sunday morning at 7am is the perfect time to blast my show tunes soundtrack whilst I tidy up the place. “THE HILLS ARE ALIVE…” 🎶🎶🎶

2

Me and the boys we like to prank a bit, now l know l askt you this before loike, but what about joking, which we fink is different to pranking? Are you up for a bit of a laugh all the time, you know a bit of a sneaksy giggle on the side?

– Only if it’s about religion or politics. Other topics I take more seriously. Except s-e-x… gotta larf at that, especially in the middle of it. But idk why people take such offense to this. *shrug*

3

‘ave you ever prank called someone and pretended to be someone you aint for a giggle?

– Not after caller ID, silly.

4

Even we Imps know about the Internet and the ‘trolling’ that goes on, they can be right fugly swines dem trolls, ‘ave you eva trolled anyone not nasty loike, but for fun?

– Who me? Well, I did destroy alt.anger, which was great fun. Does that count?

5

Right your in you metal box with wheels and you are late for something that you ‘ave to be at like NOW, do you speed to get there?

– Goodness, no. That would be breaking the law! I just honk and wave madly at everyone to get the farkadoodle out of my way.

6

Do you have to watch what you eat at Christmas or is it well you know, live for now type of fing?

– I watch for the scrummiest treats and grab them all for myself when everyone else is busy guzzling down booze.

7

Have you ever, deliberately  … mm, perhaps, maybe, taken someone’s decorations down outside their ‘ouse? you know loike for a laugh?

– No, that would be stealing! I’d rather sneak some extra ones in there… you know like a dirty magazine in Santa’s pack, things like that. Not saying I have, mind you.

8

Right, what’s your most annoying habit, but you pretend loike that its not, but you know it drives uvva people nuts, and you get a giggle out of their frustration?

– I don’t understand the question. I’m really not that bright and quite easily confused. You mustn’t rely on me to do anything.

9

Here’s one that’s always a good indicator for me … right in your own words when l say the word Norty, how does that cum across to you? How do you see Norty as meaning?

– I see two people in on a joke that no one else gets, laughing their freaking heads off until they cry.

10

If you ‘ad to describe yourself as one of the following what would you pik and why?

Sprite

Gnome

Elf

Pixie

Imp <~ this one cuz i lurve a good prank but not a mean one just a fun one

Sumthing else that we aint ‘eard of …

11

Have you ever played that card game er, what’s it called, ‘ang on “Fugly wots that game called we wos playing last night with the Tooth fairy and the Bunny?That’s it, right, have youe ever played Cards Against Humanity and if so, did you win or lose?

– I’ve played it but honestly it’s high school norty… so I was bored. Didn’t win cuz I don’t understand the way people think. Obviously my sense of humor is funnier… and nortier.

12

Wot is the word that rhymes with Orange? [Easty Bunny wonts to know loike!]

– Whore mange, nasty condition and may be contagious. If you have it, we know where you’ve been, guvna!

13

Does you show your appreciation for good food and drink in the time given tradtion of burpin’, belchin’ an’ fartin’ out loud loike, or are you one of these timid sorts?

– A lady never discusses these things.

14

‘ave you ever gone into a public place and played a prank on the general public at large? One of my favourites is to pretend that l see the silly reindeer in the sky on the Eve and point and shout “Oh ma Gord LOOK reindeer flying high!” [When l have people looking l run orf!]

If you’ave done something loike that, wot wos it?

– A friend and I co-pranked a class of students by pretending we were undercover agents and he came to my apartment every morning so we could coordinate our outfits.

Right leave your answers at the bottom, or make a post if you want, either way all good. Let’s see who is squeaky clean or right proper norty! Thisll sort you lot out, then me and the uvvers can get down to somfink else next time!

YEAH!!!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hairy chests on men are attractive and I don’t understand this strange trend of male grooming to excess. I’m talking about straight men, and only hypothetically, since I no longer do the dating/romance thing at all. But I still have eyes. And I give the hairy eyeball to waxed men because why would you do that? It’s just weird and creepy. I’ve been with one of these men (TMI alert!) in the misty distant past and it felt weird and creepy too. Not saying I want a gorilla either eww ~ moderation is the key. I think moderation is the key to a lot of things and lately many of us have forgotten this aspect of the golden rule, which is why we end up in so many hairy situations. If we’d just take a step back, take a deep breath, and think… geez, I don’t have to be so extreme here, it doesn’t have to be my way or the highway, all or nothing, black or white, etc. Except for c00kies. Black and white c00kies are delicious.

Sunday Night Ramble

So, it’s been a few weeks since I finished NaNoWriMo (did I mention that I surprised myself and wrote 50,000 words?) and I want to keep the good writing momentum going. You’re actually not supposed to edit what you wrote until January, so I’ve been working on my poetry collection and (of course) noodling around on here.

I’ve also been reading a lot of news. Not gonna jabber on about the political dumpster fires because there’s enough of that elsewhere, but there is one thing that bugs me. I’m sad that the PC police have managed to ruin “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

Seems that some folks just can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality. What’s next ~ eliminate the romance novel section at B&N? Plenty of iffy consent scenes in some of those books… I’m surprised there haven’t been boycotts already. Some people can’t stand swear words; others can’t bear gory violence or horror on the screen. To each their own, eh?

Remember the old joke… to some people, kinky means tickling with a feather; to others, it means using the whole chicken. Subjective stuff, a matter of opinion. And in my opinion, opinions should be off-limits to the nannies. Dreamy song lyrics, fantasy art, and fictional novels/plays/films are in the realm of opinion.

I used to enjoy watching beauty pageants when I was a teenager, but now I think they’re boring and dumb. So, I don’t watch them. Wow! What a great solution to the problem of disliking an entertainment offering. Don’t watch it. Don’t read it. Don’t listen to it.

I’m not talking about trolls spewing death threats on the internet or engaging in hate speech. I don’t believe people should be free to engage in this behavior ~ in fact, I think they should be penalized severely.

But as far as fiction and fantasy triggering traumatic memories… there’s no end to that cascade. Some people find it cathartic to recreate a bad memory in fantasy and change the outcome. It’s a form of power. I do this. In fact, most of my writing may be this in one way or another. My NaNo work in progress definitely is.

Back to the writing momentum. Going forward, I’ll probably do fewer blog games and questions and awards because I want to keep my focus on actual writing, such as the prompts and poetry and such. Plus I have to catch up on reading too ~ real books, not just blogs. The games etc. have been a fun break though. Hope everyone understands!

Here’s a cute kitteh to console you.

30-Day Song Challenge [5]

For Day 8, we’re flying solo again for a song about drugs or alcohol. Lots to choose from here! George Thorogood has a bunch of fun booze tunes, but I think we’ll stick to the classic from Jimmy Buffett with the eternal question: “Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw?”

https://youtu.be/LL9O0B0gzZE

10Q’s

This time from Sandmanjazz

1. You have to take the setting from one book, plot from another, and characters from a third to create a new book: What did you take?

– Ooh fun! Let’s take the main characters from Game Of Thrones, put them in the setting from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, and use the plot from The Shining.

2. What is your favorite candle scent?

– Cinnanom.

3. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

– Cookies and tea, but I usually have a Clif bar and tea.

4. Did you play video games in the arcade? If yes, what was your favorite (pinball counts too)?

– No video, occasional pinball, & I don’t remember any names.

5. Pool, darts, beer pong, or something else?

– I like pool, but not if people are going to play for money or be freakishly competitive. It would be great to be rich and have my own pool table to play on alone…

6. What was the last thing you saw that made you do a double take?

– That disgusting pic of a coughed up blood clot that looks like a lung (it’s everywhere!). Apparently we’re all too fragile to hear “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” without date-raping someone, but seeing blood and disgusting violent images all the time is just fine.

7. How do you like your peanuts?

– Smashamated into butter.

8. What is your favorite lunch meat?

– Cheese.

9. Do you believe in magic?

– Oh sure. 🙄

10. What song best describes your mood right now?

– Cold As Ice.

*

Update: My bad, these questions were originally from the QoQ, Teresa!

Open/Shut Case [bit ranty]

New prompt from Mindlovemisery. Open or shut…

“What are you open to and what are you shut to?

Some people are open to most things and some are very closed, or shut to anything that challenges their every day.”

This is a good question. I’m loving these thinky prompts, as opposed to the favorite color type ones.

I like to be challenged intellectually. I’m open to new ideas about philosophy, psychology, nutrition, aging, writing, etc. I love new games and quizzes. Enjoy discovering new aspects of my cranky old personality. Now, having said this, I’m not some naive lulu who’s going to soak up the next conspiracy theory that comes along, so don’t bother. 🙄

What I’m not open to. Everything else. No really. I’m old and tired and I’m achy and migrainey. I know what I like and don’t like. I don’t need someone to tell me to try the thing that makes them happy, whatever it is. This is what annoys me so much about people. My cat, in contrast, doesn’t say hey come to the window and watch this ant. He doesn’t give a shit if I see the ant; he’s thrilled out of his mind to have the ant all to himself. 🐱🐜

But people? Omgawd. They have to share things. Taste my pasta! Listen to this song! Watch this vid! Read this book! Worship my gods! Vote for my liars!! Suck my d***! Sorry. Got carried away there. But you get the point. People simply must evangelize at you. Look at that poor guy who was just killed trying to introduce Jesus to some Indians. “No, you go meet him first!” (Stole the joke. I will do that, fair warning.)

To sum up, at this stage in my life: open mind, closed heart.