What does inner beauty mean to you? How do you cope with society’s unrealistic ideals of physical beauty? What do you do to feel attractive? Confident? Inspired? What message would you like to impart about beauty to the youth of today?
That’s a lot of questions. I’ve been reading a bunch of bs replies (no, not yours!) about how this particular writer looks beyond the surface and blah blah yada. All the lovely clichéd things we like to read. But in fact most people (no, not you!) do indeed judge by appearances. And I know this via direct experience from my time on dating sites ~ yes, of course I’m going to mention this yet again. 💤
Anyway. I used to think I was so clever in my search, trying to focus on intelligence and humor and writing ability, but those things are somewhat superficial as well. Is it really important in a relationship that a man is at my Scrabble level? As it turns out, I’m bored with Scrabble now. I have come to understand I should have been looking for kindness and honesty all along.
I guess that’s what inner beauty means to me: kindness and honesty. But many are somewhat kind and reasonably honest. The tricky part is that these qualities also need to be accompanied by a lack of narcissism, disloyalty, selfish agendas, etc. Forex, if someone is kind only because he wants to have sex with me, that’s transactional and doesn’t count as inner beauty.
How have I coped? Not well, in the past. I developed anorexia the summer before high school, partly as a way to deal with the expectations of society for girls at that time. It took me years to return to a semi-normal state of mental and physical health. We are always in recovery, no matter what we look like on the outside.
Decades later, I felt neglected and down, so I began to try to attract attention, mostly online. It’s pretty easy for a woman to dress a certain way, post photos, flirt, etc., and get what she needs from men in that way. But it’s all so shallow and meaningless. What’s the point? I proved I could do it, and then I stopped. It became boring, like most things.
What do I do? Beyond the basics, not a lot. I’m older and have been dressing much more conservatively than I used to. I don’t feel comfortable as a 58 year-old grandma trying to look “sexy,” whatever that even means now. So, I get less attention than before and I’m okay with it. Strangely, I feel more confident being comfy than I used to when I dressed to get noticed, since I was always wondering if anyone did notice me. Now, I simply assume no one does and stay lost in my own thoughts. 🙃
I don’t have any advice to give young peeps about beauty except you probably look better right now than you ever will again so live it up! 😻
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