Tag Archives: sex

SLS ~ No!

SLS

Jim Adams gave us yes and no this week, and naturally I gravitated to the negative. I was tempted to go with Ringo’s no-no song or perhaps “A Horse With No Name,” but I’m really trying to pick songs no one else thinks of. We’ll see if I’m successful this time with my choice of “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” by The Georgia Satellites. “No huggy, no kissy, until I get a weddin’ ring!”

KYHTY was written by the group’s lead singer Dan Baird in 1986 as their debut single. It reached #2 on Billboard’s Hot 100 in 1987, locked out of the #1 spot by Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer.” The Georgia Satellites never had another Top 40 hit and Baird left for a solo career, later joined by a couple other ex Satellites. Both groups are still strumming along.

Keep Your Hands To Yourself

I got a little change in my pocket goin’ jing-a-ling-a-ling
Wants to call you on the telephone baby, a-give you a ring
But each time we talk, I get the same old thing
Always no hug-ee no kiss-ee until I get a weddin’ ring
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourselfB-B-B-baby baby baby why you wan’ treat me this way
You know I’m still your lover boy I still feel the same way
That’s when she told me a story, ’bout free milk and a cow
And said no hug-ee no kiss-ee until I get a weddin’ vow
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourselfHold it here
See I wanted her real bad, and I was about to give in
But that’s when she started talking about true love,
Started talking about sin
And I said, honey I’ll live with you for the rest of my life,
She said no hug-ee no kiss-ee until you make me your wife-a
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

You’ll need to watch this video until the end! And don’t forget to vote Blue! 🌎💦🐬🦋🧢

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Riffin’ [MLM]

MLM

I never cared much for Neil Young’s voice (kinda whiny), but I do like his lyrics. And I always enjoyed “Cinnamon Girl,” though I wondered if it was vaguely racist. Not to worry! I discovered today it was about heroin. I guess everyone else already knew? Whatever. “Only Love Can Break Your Heart” is a good song (and today’s MLM theme), but again… that voice. Eesh. 😝

Guess Neil took the advice from his friend Stephen Stills and loved the one he was with when he separated from his wife and began dating Daryl Hannah. Daryl had an LTR with Jackson Browne (whose voice I love), which makes Jackson and Neil Eskimo buddies. I found out today that we can’t say “Eskimo buddies” any longer because it is racist and sexist. Some Native Alaskans prefer that we use Inuit and/or Aleutian to describe them. Also, using any form of the term reduces a woman to an object who is only defined by her relationships with men. Yikes! 😱

Likewise, I suppose we shouldn’t use the term “pogo sisters” to describe women who have slept with the same guy, since that reduces men to… 🍆 🍆🍆

Back to music. It seems that offensive stuff is more acceptable when you accompany it with some doop doops and la la las. 🎶🎶 Then it’s more like fiction than a statement and you can plausibly deny you meant anything by it. Just trying to write some cool tunes to entertain the peeps, man… get off my case! Though sometimes songwriters do make a statement, such as when Neil wrote “Ohio.” It seems like a lot of young peeps don’t care about our wars these days, or politics in general, now that there’s no draft. Perhaps we should bring it back… or some form of required community service that no one gets to escape. That’ll get ‘em caring about what’s going on.

Speaking of news, I’d like to bury the lede here and say that I’ve recently and quietly unfollowed some bloggers whose politics make me barf. No arguing, just a click. I struggled with this because I have a few long-term friends whose politics also make me barf, but ultimately I decided so the fuck what. Foolish consistency and hobgoblins, etc. What the hell does this have to do with love being the only thing that breaks your heart? 💔

You tell me! 🤣

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Mint & Ivy [TLT]

Leafy archway

When I go to meet him, singing angels guide me through an archway of mint and ivy.

He sees me and his smile warms the night as his eyes shine like a thousand stars.

I completely forget he’s a married man in a stale room at a cheap motel.

~*~

Written for Three Line Tales 244.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Dog Days Trifecta

Three horses trifecta

Okay, so I had a bit of a life and missed the weekend Dog Days. I hope this isn’t why Fandango is thinking of taking a hiatus. I’M SORRY EVERYONE! It’s all my fault. 😢

First, let me tell you why writing matters to me (FDDA22). It’s because via writing I get to hang out with cool characters like the aforementioned Fandango. We’d never have “met” any other way, and even if I’d run into him accidentally, we wouldn’t be sharing our thoughts the way we do here, in writing. And the same goes for the rest of y’all I’ve been chilling with in Blogland and even before on Usenet and in other venues. Sure, it’s fun to dabble in fiction and poetry too, but the main reason I stick with writing in a blog, as opposed to tweets and FB updates, is due to the interaction.

Second, I truly enjoy creating characters (FDDA23), and when I write I am my own creation. Not that I am lying (necessarily!) when I post, but I can tune the mood and make happenings sound more dramatic or interesting. I play with words and tone and pacing. Do I want to assume the persona of a loving grandmother or a snarky beyotch? Would I rather appear awkwardly funny or smoothly competent? It’s easy to switch characters when I blog and still maintain credibility. Not so easy in real life, where I prefer to stay consistent.

Third, speaking of characters, here’s a fun fact about me. Back when I was dating (barf), I sometimes created… interesting characters in certain situations. Forex, I was in a long-term penpal relationship with a married man who told me we could never meet. I accepted that. To keep things exciting, I occasionally created a character (did both a man and a woman) to entice someone into cybersex. Then I would copy and paste the transcript into an email for my friend. For all I know, the person I was cybering with was a character too! That’s what made it more fun though, the not knowing.

I hope this admission hasn’t swayed your opinion of me. I’ve always said I preferred fiction to non. 🙂

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

PS: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE, FANDANGO!

30 Day Book Challenge 4

30 day book challenge

I’m doing this challenge in groups of 6 so that I end up with 5 posts at the end of June for my 30 day book challenge instead of 30. This is my fourth set of books.

19. As I said, I don’t care for audiobooks, but if a man with a sexy British accent wants to read something to me, I won’t put up a fuss. I watched a multipart show about meerkats of all the silly things because the narrator had such a delicious British voice.

20. I love unreliably narrated books! So much fun. We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson is a good example of a book with an unreliable narrator. Merrikat pulls you into her world and you think you know what’s going on… or do you? I do have a preference for books about sisters…

21. Orange County Noir, edited by Gary Phillips, is an anthology of short stories that are set in Orange County, California. Many are very dark, giving us a peek at the desperate lives people live behind the facade of glittering McMansions and shiny new cars. I see it has a whole bunch of bad reviews because people want Orange County stories to be upbeat, I guess. Well, they aren’t. WE SUFFER HERE.

22. I had to find a brand new book to read for the LGBTQ love story, as there were none on my list. It’s definitely not a genre I seek out, though I’ve read bits of pr0n here and there, as you do. Naturally, I chose the L, since it’s bad enough having one man in a love story, but two of ’em? Gah. Anyway, I picked Endless Love by Lauren Trevino. This book was just okay. It could have used an editor/proofreader ~ there were lots of typos and elided words. We all make mistakes and it’s hard to catch our own when we’ve gone over the same pages a hundred times and made changes. Beyond that, the heroines were rather bland with cookie-cutter motivations. Just like the cliched male/female romance novel, every character was incredibly beautiful, there was a friend who betrayed them, one walked in on the other at exactly the “wrong” moment (twice), the sex was always amazing, yada. Some chapters were too disjointed and short. There were POV breaks. Etc. But the story still pulled me along well enough to the end with some tension anyway. I was planning to give the book 2 stars but gave it 3. Why? Because at the end, the lovers discussed the 2016 election and actually went out in the street to protest. Generally, romance novels don’t take any political stance, and for that act of bravery, I awarded another star.

23. “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” This is the last line of The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books. It’s probably due for a reread.

24. Wow, I don’t have any true collaborations in my Goodreads list. This means a book written by 2 or more authors, not a collection of stories by 2 or more writers. Different things. I must have read some, but I don’t recall any. To rectify this, I’m going to buy one of the books by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer. She’s a romance writer and he’s a suspense writer ~ they wrote a few books together (I actually attended one of their workshops in San Diego several years ago). I’ve wanted to read one, so this is my opportunity. I don’t have time to read it before this goes live though. Sorry about that.

See you on the 30th with my final set of June books!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image stolen from Sandmanjazz.

The Newlywed Game [A-Z Games]

The Newlywed Game Note: I’m doing the April A-to-Z challenge without signing up or linking back to the main site.

The Newlywed Game was just cute! And Bob Eubanks was so funny, owning that sweet spot right between wholesome and risqué. I don’t know if he coined the phrase “making whoopee,” but we’ll always associate it with him and with the show.

TNG debuted back in 1966, the last series to premiere in black and white (converting to color by the end of the year). It was a big hit, dethroning Password, and ran for 8 years. Until Family Feud had a 9 year run in 1985, TNG was the longest running game show in ABC’s daytime history. Another first ~ Bob Eubanks was only 28 when he became master of ceremonies of the Newlywed Game, the youngest emcee to host a show. To learn more about the hosts and versions of the show, click here.

The important thing to know is that TNG was canceled in 1980 because its producer at the time, Chuck Barris, debuted a spin-off game show called 3’s a Crowd, where a man, his wife, and his secretary would compete. People clutched their pearls at the implications, and Chuck’s shows were all shuttered ~ that one, TNG, The Dating Game, and The Gong Show. But TNG returned for a week for Valentine’s Day 1984, and in 1985, a New Newlywed Game began.

The basic premise of the Newlywed Game is for husbands and wives to try to match each other’s answers to a variety of silly questions. I always enjoyed it because the couples seemed like real people and the answers didn’t feel coached or rehearsed. There was no element of luck as far as rolling dice or studying up on ancient philosophy to ace some category; you just had to hope you knew the person you married as well as you thought you did.

Please tune in tomorrow when I will blog about Old Maid.

~*~

Image credited to Herald & Review.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Layers

Lasagna

I never baked you a lasagna,
Never prepared noodles and cheese,
Meat and sauce just to please you.
I didn’t fill my small apartment
With the smells of an Italian
Jewish grandmother’s kitchen.
I thought you were joking,
But you were not, when you said
You wanted those layers,
Deep, rich, and bubbling;
When I falsely assumed
We should spend time in bed
Under tiers of covers,
Limbs intertwined,
Breath comingling,
Your mouth hot on mine.
That all was fine,
But you wanted more proof
That I cared about you–
You had spent money on me,
And I had given nothing in return.
You felt burned–
Where was a steaming casserole
Full of pasta and beef,
Arranged with sausage and cheese,
All underneath that luscious canopy
Of melted mozzarella?
These would have been the levels
Of deliciousness to cement
My honorable intentions.
But instead I appeared
Like every other superficial wench,
Out to finagle fleeting fragments
Of base bodily bliss.
Yet there is so much more
To human existence
Than that initial layer
Of physical desire;
That first kiss on the beach fire;
That want to dance naked in the moonlight madness;
That can’t go a day without your touch sadness;
That need your voice in the night lustcraze;
That lost in the smell of you dreamdaze…
If only
I had
Made
The
Damn
Lasagna.

~*~

A friend in a poetry workshop shared this challenge with me from a few weeks ago: write a poem about desire. “Lasagna” was my response.

Image from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

I Think It’s Tuesday #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

Warning: this is not gonna be one of those smell the flowers in the pandemic posts, but there are plenty of those around, so if you would rather read something cheery, move along now.

I’ve been doing my side work from home as usual but not my main work. It would be complicated to set up. The days blend in a haze of sleeping late, sweatpants, coffee, news, news, and more news. 😢

It’s depressing to live this way and never see any of my favorite humans. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit my daughter up North again. Or even see my family in Los Angeles. Everything seems terrifying. But I’ve been staying indoors mostly and not even going for walks. I don’t like getting the mail because I never know if someone will stand too close. Today was okay. No one was at the mailboxes when I was.

The worst thing is reading these constant bits of news and feeling more horrified. But I need to know what’s happening! I live near a busy street and traffic never stops whooshing by… where are they all going? Why aren’t they staying home like they’re supposed to? Aren’t they hearing the same stuff I am? 😡

I’ve been cleaning a lot. I have nothing else to do but keep checking the mishmash of news. I read a book. Probably will read another. Been chatting with friends. I was gonna bake banana bread, but no one else is around to help me eat it, so I didn’t. No need to turn into a chubby hermit. Got bored with the phone games. I’m finally working on Ghosted. 👻 Luckily, I really like it.

I am grumpy and sad. I don’t find the beauty in this. Maybe if I had a partner? Then we could be having luscious sex and engaging in wonderful deep conversations and playing chess and watching lovely old movies and making lasagna and planning our escape from this mad mad world, but instead I just keep checking the cat boxes to make sure no poop needs to be removed.

It’s not that I mind being alone. I like to be alone. It’s the forced aspect of it. And it’s the constant uncertainty in every direction. Health, family, finances, job, future. What’s going to happen? Even if things tentatively begin to improve, will we be re-whomped with this, or a new version, next winter?

Sorry, I can’t put up some Hallmark card type of post. This really sucks. 🙁

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

No Sharing!

Keep your distance

Melanie had some fun St. Patrick’s themed questions today, but I wasn’t in the mood for those. Then she posted these, which are much more to my taste.

What harsh truths do you prefer to ignore?

All of them! Let’s see… a big one is how many bugs and bug parts I’m probably eating all the time in salads, cereals, etc. Gross! Next, is how I’m damaging my health by sitting on my butt all day and never exercising. Another is how I keep reading the news and think I actually know what’s going on lolololol 🤣🤣🤣

Actually, a super harsh truth right now is how many greedy, selfish, inconsiderate people there are who will not stop harmful behavior without the force of law. I mean, we always know this, but I for one am not usually thinking about it. Then this virus comes along and people just don’t wanna cooperate for the greater good. They have to be forced, no way around that fact. 😢

Is free will real or just an illusion?

Illusion. We’re almost completely wired up to make every choice due to our genetics plus environment, and we exercise very little if any “will” over that, even though it feels like we do. I say “almost” because of the random elements in there, not will.

I guess, given this truth, we can be more forgiving of the sh!t heads in my first reply who won’t voluntarily cooperate. They can’t help their selfish ways. But that does not mean we let them do what they want. No. We hire more cops.

What is the meaning of true love?

True love, in my opinion, is that passionate attraction we feel toward another person combined with the steady certainty that we would care for their well-being to the same degree or greater than our own.

If both elements are not present, then it is not true love. Passion without care is just a sexual connection, even if it’s embellished with other goodies like intellectual sparks and shared hobbies. Caring without the passion is a great friendship, but most will jettison that for even a slight chance at a romantic partner.

Great questions! 😻

~*~

Image credited to imgflp.com.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ60: Otters

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks… how we met our significant otter, or if we don’t have an SO, how we met our last one. My last otter wasn’t “significant” in the sense of being a long-term relationship (a few months of contact); but it was important in the sense that it marked the end of my dating days.

I met this guy ~ let’s call him “Michael” ~ via a dating site in 2016 after I took a break from dating. I had created a hidden profile and impulsively went live with it while at the Los Angeles County Fair because I was in a optimistic mood while hanging out with friends. What a fun day that was!

Anyway, I met a few guys who were meh and then Michael. I don’t want to say a lot about Michael right now or the specifics of our time together because that emphasizes what happened (and encourages people to give advice 🙄), when the crucial aspect is the totality of my dating experiences.

You’ve heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back, right? Well, I’m the camel in this scenario and these guys were straws, none of them that important, certainly not Michael. But he was the last one, and I did break. Before him, I met a bunch of lying liars, all in different disguises, and he was a lying liar too… wrapped up in a disguise I hadn’t seen before. But still he was the same as the rest, and when I understood this I was finished with it all.

I fell into a depression, not because of him, but over the loss of the dream/fantasy that I would find someone. For decades, I had nurtured this dream, fed it romance novels and love songs and Meg Ryan romcoms. I truly thought I would have the happily ever after, my soul mate, my eternal flame. Giving it up left a huge void of darkness. I cried all the time. It was hard to sleep or I slept too much. Negative thought spirals took control of my mind and refused to let go. It took about a year and a half for me to get better.

Believe them the first time

But getting better is an ongoing process, and it does not include dating. I know people mean well when they encourage me to try again or say nice things about meeting someone, but part of my healing is coming to terms with the fact that this is not going to happen and that part of my life is over. I can’t allow myself to be subject to the agendas of liars and narcissists again; I can’t put myself in the position of being harassed and stalked by whiners and bullies when I don’t do what they want. It’s too traumatic and stressful to think about. I’m getting shaky even typing the words.

I realized that dating sites themselves were a huge part of the problem for me. They attract the worst sorts of men (whether pay sites or not), and the older you are the worse it gets. The men were significantly sh*ttier when I was on at age 55 than when I was 50. They acted like they were doing me a favor by even saying hello, like I should be grateful for their attention. I get that other women are able to ignore the jerkos and focus on finding the prize in the pile of poo, but that’s really hard for me. I am affected by comments from jerkos. That’s why I like to preemptively block them here and on Twitter when I can. 👻

So, when anyone asks for my opinion of dating sites, I tell them that they all suck. If you enjoy becoming a product/commodity and having a people look you over for your features as if you’re a TV on Amazon and reject you for a better deal, then maybe you will enjoy the sites. Not me.

Besides, we shouldn’t meet anyone now anyway. Who knows how often they wash their hands? Back to cybersex! 😍

~*~

Images from Fandango and Google.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.