Tag Archives: romcoms

FPQ60: Otters

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks… how we met our significant otter, or if we don’t have an SO, how we met our last one. My last otter wasn’t “significant” in the sense of being a long-term relationship (a few months of contact); but it was important in the sense that it marked the end of my dating days.

I met this guy ~ let’s call him “Michael” ~ via a dating site in 2016 after I took a break from dating. I had created a hidden profile and impulsively went live with it while at the Los Angeles County Fair because I was in a optimistic mood while hanging out with friends. What a fun day that was!

Anyway, I met a few guys who were meh and then Michael. I don’t want to say a lot about Michael right now or the specifics of our time together because that emphasizes what happened (and encourages people to give advice 🙄), when the crucial aspect is the totality of my dating experiences.

You’ve heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back, right? Well, I’m the camel in this scenario and these guys were straws, none of them that important, certainly not Michael. But he was the last one, and I did break. Before him, I met a bunch of lying liars, all in different disguises, and he was a lying liar too… wrapped up in a disguise I hadn’t seen before. But still he was the same as the rest, and when I understood this I was finished with it all.

I fell into a depression, not because of him, but over the loss of the dream/fantasy that I would find someone. For decades, I had nurtured this dream, fed it romance novels and love songs and Meg Ryan romcoms. I truly thought I would have the happily ever after, my soul mate, my eternal flame. Giving it up left a huge void of darkness. I cried all the time. It was hard to sleep or I slept too much. Negative thought spirals took control of my mind and refused to let go. It took about a year and a half for me to get better.

Believe them the first time

But getting better is an ongoing process, and it does not include dating. I know people mean well when they encourage me to try again or say nice things about meeting someone, but part of my healing is coming to terms with the fact that this is not going to happen and that part of my life is over. I can’t allow myself to be subject to the agendas of liars and narcissists again; I can’t put myself in the position of being harassed and stalked by whiners and bullies when I don’t do what they want. It’s too traumatic and stressful to think about. I’m getting shaky even typing the words.

I realized that dating sites themselves were a huge part of the problem for me. They attract the worst sorts of men (whether pay sites or not), and the older you are the worse it gets. The men were significantly sh*ttier when I was on at age 55 than when I was 50. They acted like they were doing me a favor by even saying hello, like I should be grateful for their attention. I get that other women are able to ignore the jerkos and focus on finding the prize in the pile of poo, but that’s really hard for me. I am affected by comments from jerkos. That’s why I like to preemptively block them here and on Twitter when I can. 👻

So, when anyone asks for my opinion of dating sites, I tell them that they all suck. If you enjoy becoming a product/commodity and having a people look you over for your features as if you’re a TV on Amazon and reject you for a better deal, then maybe you will enjoy the sites. Not me.

Besides, we shouldn’t meet anyone now anyway. Who knows how often they wash their hands? Back to cybersex! 😍

~*~

Images from Fandango and Google.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

But It’s Over Now

Love is in da blog

Goodbye February! It’s been a great month of songs while participating in Bee’s fun music challenge again. A big thanks to Bee for putting together the challenge and prompts! She shared some fab tunes too. I also a great time checking out what other players posted ~ Jim, Barbara, Di, Caramel, Cheryl, Melanie, et al.

For my last song of the February challenge, I’m sharing Roxette’s “It Must Have Been Love.” It was featured in Pretty Woman, a movie I enjoyed but didn’t love as much as other romcoms. It’s strange to me that this movie did so well at the box office ~ I guess it was the star power of the leads. (Though Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan have star power, no?) In my opinion, the Meg Ryan movies are all superior to PW. But I do like Richard Gere… and in Pretty Woman Julia Roberts isn’t as obnoxious as usual. This video is sweet and captures some good moments from the film. Hope you like it! 😘

~*~

Written for Love Is In Da Blog Day 29.

Image credit to Happy Color.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ58: Shattered Illusions

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks…

What is something you’ve long believed to be true, but you now realize is not true?

This question definitely lives up to its name and has provoked a lot of thinkies. While there have been minor and/or short-lived beliefs I’ve held that life has popped like a room full of party balloons, nothing comes close to my cherished and false belief in love. 💔

Now before people start hollering at me… I am not saying I have ceased to believe that love exists. Don’t be silly. Of course, I know that people find love all the time. Other people. What I mean is that for decades I was absolutely certain with an unwavering faith that love existed for me. A soul mate. All that romance novel crap. But soon I’m going to turn 59 and I have given up. In fact, I can pinpoint exactly when I gave up: Thanksgiving 2016 when I got dumped by someone I really believed was a good guy who wanted to be with me and would follow through on the plans we’d made. 🥀

Some people will say that it’s because I gave up that I can’t find love. There’s some woo theory that you must behave as if love is already in your life and wake up every day with the idea that you will be with your soul mate imminently. So, you’ll be happy and smiling and dressing beautifully, since you would be doing these things if you were meeting your love for brunch… and then by some miracle he will appear at the car wash or something. Idk. It’s not my theory, so don’t expect me to defend it! 🤣

The thing is, how long does a reasonable human behave this way? Six months? Ten years? You wake up happy, smiling, put on a gorgeous glittering gown, sashay off to the car wash… and they go, “Jesus, it’s that crazy lady again waiting for her soul mate! When is she gonna bring a car here?”

So, anyway. Giving up gave me freedom. I quit the dating sites. I deleted Meetups. I even exited Facebook and Instagram. All the social media sites that were supposed to make you feel connected to people (and potential soul mates), but left me feeling more isolated and alone. I began to focus only on work, family, friends, and writing. I quit spending money trying to look “sexy” for some man I hadn’t met and most likely never would. I revitalized my blog, which has always been my favorite form of “social media.” 😻

Now, in a movie or novel, this is exactly when I would meet my soul mate, right? When I’m focused on my own life and doing things that bring me joy, rather than searching outward for happiness. But this is real life not a romcom… so no.

Bitmoji shrug

~*~

Image credits to Fandango and Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

With Nets Of Wonder

Love is in da blog

Happy February! I’m participating in Bee’s fun music challenge again and hope you’ll join in (you don’t have to play every day).

Today’s theme is a love song from when we started school ~ I assume kindergarten. For me, this was 1966 and there were a ton of love songs around. I’m choosing a sweet fave by Bob Lind: “Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love.” 🦋

I guess it could be viewed a bit stalkerish by today’s standards, just like “Every Breath You Take,” and lots of romcoms too. What’s up with Harry leaving all those messages on Sally’s answering machine anyway? She told him to get lost!

~*~

Written for Love Is In Da Blog Day 22.

Image credit to Happy Color.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Someone Else

Blonde in black feather mask

Cyranny asked… if we snoop in other people’s medicine cabinets when we visit their homes. I don’t now, but 40+ years ago I did this and more. I had lots of babysitting jobs around our Illinois neighborhood and after the children were sleeping, I would poke around. It was very interesting what folks had hidden in the backs of drawers and closets.

I often found naughty magazines and books… and would read them. I’d be very careful to put everything back the way it was just in case. These were not my father’s Playboys, but Hustler and Penthouse, which were quite different. 😳 I read The Happy Hooker at one house… it took me the whole weekend, but the mom (single mom) was off at a horse show, so I had lots of time during naps and such.

My favorite thing to do however was to try on the mom’s clothes, especially if she had anything really sparkly. 💖 I was a plain girl with plain clothes, but I read romance novels and secretly dreamed of being a vibrant heroine in a glittering ball gown. Or a damsel in distress in a dark gothic castle. There was one house I loved ~ the dad worked for my dad, so these people were super nice to me. The mom was incredibly pretty and had tons of beautiful clothes. I loved going there.

Blonde in ball gown at dragon gates

I never got caught doing anything. No one used cameras back then, in the 1970s. Or, if they did, they must have thought it was fun to watch me, right? I was taking good care of the kid/s all along, so it was only a mere privacy issue not neglect. 🙃 In any event, I liked to pretend to be someone else for a little while… to immerse in a life that was not mine. I still like that idea… float in and then slip away… without letting anything really affect me.

Now I’m single again… have been single (“self-partnered”) for several years and I am enjoying my life this way. I can’t even imagine entangling my life with another person’s again to any great extent. But I do still enjoy reading romances and fantasy literature, watching romcoms, and even writing a bit of it myself at times. Romance is theater, masks, and costumes. It’s the slide into another life, being someone else. Thinking back… I guess I was never fully comfortable with taking on that role in a drama off the stage.

Woman in billowing red dress at sunset

~*~

Images from Pixabay and Pexels

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

It’s Raining Liebsters!

Two, count ’em two, lovely bloggers have awarded me the coveted Liebster, yayyy! Thank you Sadje and Di! This is better than making the NYT bestseller list, which is what I told them there when they asked if I had time to fly to NYC, all comped at the Plaza Hotel for interviews and promos and stuff. Nope! I said, no can do. I’m gonna deal with this double Liebster thingie. They said they understood cuz they had been waiting their whole lives for Liebsters.

Well, I got two. Have I mentioned? Neener!

First, I’m supposed to reveal 11 things about myself. This is probably per award, but eff that.

1. I have over 2,600 blog followers now, which includes Twitter. 🎃

2. My general rule is that I don’t follow back new followers unless they comment.

3. This is only a general rule ~ if I visit them and they’re awesome, I will f/b.

4. I like to follow fiction writers and poets who post their craft, not endlessly moan about stuff or post business stats gabble.

5. Generally, I don’t jabber on here about the news, but I may comment elsewhere.

6. I used to post a lot about my personal life, but I’ve grown incredibly bored with it.

7. That’s because I now live an incredibly boring life, which is how I like it. 🙃

8. I don’t believe that the saying about how you should slide screaming into your grave covered in chocolate because you’ve just failed at an exotic thrill applies to me.

9. I would rather expire quietly while reading a good book and having a nice cup of tea. 📖

10. I may have gotten that quote wrong in #8 but am too lazy to look it up.

11. I am writing this in a Starbucks.

Sadje’s Questions:

1. Are you a serious blogger or just having fun here?

-Yes.

2. What was the reason that made you start a blog?

-This blog? Heartbreak.

3. Take a while to think and let us know: what object that is in your reach right now, influences you? ( e g a tv)

-Phone in my hand. 📱

4. How do you relax?

-Happy Color.

5. Are you superstitious?

-Yes, but it’s silly.

6. Loyalty to the one you love, or one who is right?

-Love always.

7. How can we improve the environment of our planet? Do you take any practical steps towards it?

-It’s really sad that this has become political. Isn’t it in everyone’s interest to have a clean, safe home? It doesn’t have to be tied to climate change, for those who don’t believe humans cause it… but we could all agree to do a better job with the air and water we all need to live. 🌍

8. What is one habit you have that you or your family think is childish?

-I still talk/write in lolcat at times, but so do my girls. We mostly only do this with each other now, since it is silly. 😻

Apparently Sadje only wrote 8 questions, which is great, since I am also about to break the rules and not do any questions or tag any bloggers. OMG! But wait. I will now answer Di’s questions, so that’s something, right? Right! 💖

Di’s Questions:

1. How did you meet your significant other ?

-At the Orange County Animal Shelter.

2. What would you consider the perfect gift to receive ?

-Amazon gift certificate.

3. What would be the worst gift for you to receive ?

-Any gift you have to spend money on, like tickets to a thing you have to travel to.

4. Holidays: Flight, cruise, coach or camping ?

-Staycation please! Love to chill at home and do local low-stress, low-cost fun.

5. Dining out: steak, salad bar, vegetarian, pizza, Indian, Chinese, other ?

-Vegetarian or veggie pizza. I’m not a veggie, but I mostly prefer those choices.

6. Have you ever taken a first aid course ?

-Nope.

7. Alcoholic drink: beer, spirit, wine, cider, liqueur, none ?

-None.

8. Biggest wish ?

-Good health and happiness for my daughters and their families.

9. Biggest fear ?

-Opposite of 8.

10. Do you prefer to cook on gas, electric, other ?

-Cook? 🤣

11. Movies:  comedy, thriller, romcom, animated, sci fi, musical, other?

-Romcom or drama/mystery. Sometimes a musical, but mostly like the older ones.

Great questions! That’ll do me for the week, at least. 👻

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Song Lyric Sunday ~ Movie

Song Lyric Sunday

This week Jim asks us to post a song featured prominently in a movie. I’m using Yesterday, a movie about the Beatles. It was a sweet romcom, via the device that all Beatles’ songs and related memories had disappeared except from the minds of 3 people. Luckily, one of them was our protag Jack. And he was a musician, who made it his goal to recreate the songs. How sad would a world be without Beatles’ music?!

Jack managed to nail the songs, except he had a lot of trouble with “Eleanor Rigby.” He just couldn’t remember the lyrics or get them in the right order. So, snippets of ER kept popping up throughout the film. The song was written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon in 1966 for their Yellow Submarine album.

Ah look at all the lonely people
Ah look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice
In the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face
That she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie, writing the words
Of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, darning his socks
In the night when there’s nobody there
What does he care

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
[…]

Rockumentaries & Things

I love musical movies… Hair, Chicago, Walk the Line, The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, Across the Universe, Mamma Mia (1 & 2), The Lion King, Grease, Fiddler on the Roof, etc. There are lots I haven’t seen and still want to ~ Meet Me in St. Louis, for heaven’s sake!

But that’s not what I came here to talk about today. Lately I’ve seen a bunch of rockumentaries, which is a class of movie I’ve avoided in the past because it seemed eh boring, like something from the History Channel. But first I watched one on Joan Jett and it was interesting! Last summer I saw The King in Long Beach and enjoyed that too. It was more an overview of the times than a laser-focus on Elvis, but even so. Good stuff, despite the history content.

Then I meant to see Bohemian Rhapsody on my Movie Pass, but it died so I didn’t. I watched it on Prime for $6 last month though, and it was great! I’ve always loved Queen’s music. RIP Freddie.

Next I went to see Rocketman. Wow. It was incredible. Taron Egerton did such a fab job portraying Elton John. The music. The costumes. All spectacular. And Elton as a little boy was just heartbreaking too.

Last weekend I saw Yesterday, which isn’t in the same category because it’s a romcom with a fantasy element, but regardless it’s entirely themed on The Beatles, so I say it goes in this post. I dare you to disagree! I loved it, btw. Super fun and adorable. Lots of Beatles’ songs throughout to keep a fan happy.

Yesterday I saw Echo in the Canyon, which is about the California music biz in the 1960s. Jakob Dylan interviews a bunch of old-timey musicians and plays clips of their songs, and he also recreates some of their tunes himself. He’s super talented… wonder where he gets that from? I’ve loved him since the first Wallflowers album, so I may be biased there. I highly recommend this movie to all music fans. Honestly, Jakob needs to do a sequel because there’s just so much more!

During the previews to Echo, we saw that there’s a new movie coming out in August sort of like Yesterday but without a fantasy element and themed on Bruce Springsteen. Guess who is gonna put Blinded by the Light on her must-see list?

🎶😀🎶💖🎶

Z is for Zany [A2Z]

Zany, madcap, wacky, screwball, etc. are all great words to describe What’s Up Doc? This is a super hilarious romantic comedy from 1972, starring Barbra Streisand and Ryan O’Neal. Madeline Kahn (RIP) costars brilliantly in the same kind of role she plays in Young Frankenstein: the OCD uptight fiancée who is made to appear less desirable than the manic pixie dream girl (before we called them that).

The movie opens in San Francisco and begins with four identical plaid suitcases. One belongs to Ryan’s Dr. Howard Bannister and contains special rocks he needs for a science conference. Another is filled with top-secret documents and belongs to “Mr. Smith.” A “Mr. Jones” is chasing after these documents. The third bag is filled with expensive jewelry. The last bag belongs to Barbra’s Judy Maxwell and contains clothing. Judy chases Howard around his hotel, both to try to find her bag and to score free meals.

At the same time, two hotel employees are attempting to steal the bag they believe has the jewelry, while Jones is trying to get the document bag. Everyone ends up with the wrong bag, of course! Howard’s fiancée is having trouble understanding why Judy keeps popping up all over the place. There is a rival for a science grant who tries to take advantage of Howard’s predicament. It’s all so wild!

Since it’s a romcom, there is a happy ending for Judy and Howard, yayyy. 💖

And with that, I am finished with the alphabloggery, thank Godzilla.

W is for When [A2Z]

When Harry Met Sally is one of my all-time favorite movies. I love the characters and the humor. Once again, I think Rob Reiner does an excellent job of directing. I used to list WHMS as my favorite romcom, but now I don’t, even though I still adore the film and rewatch it yearly.

Harry and Sally meet right when they’re graduating college at University of Chicago and share a ride to New York City. They get to know each other a little on this trip, and dislike each other, arguing continuously about the nature of relationships between men and women. Over the next decade, they bump into one another repeatedly in various venues as they attach and detach from other partners.

There’s so much wonderful humor and profound insight about the complexities of relationships here, not to mention fabulous quotes. I treasure the supporting cast as well ~ in fact, when I rewatch the movie now, it’s the instant spark between Marie and Jess that really affects me.

I know the on-again, off-again, passionate drama between Harry and Sally and his crazy run through the streets of Manhattan on NYE is what makes this movie such a beautiful piece of art, but but but…

When Marie (Carrie Fisher, RIP) and Jess hit it off immediately, jump into that taxi, and spend the rest of their lives together without all the BS… that gets to me. I mean, Harry and Sally had to keep sleeping with other people (and in Harry’s case marry one) before they finally figured out hey duhhh we’re right for each other. But Jess and Marie don’t have to hurt each other to love each other.

I like that. Of course I get that the smooth path doesn’t make an interesting movie. But I still like it!