Tag Archives: rants

More Things I Hate

I see it’s up to me to break up the syrupy brunch of Mommy Day posts full of flowers and pancakes and goopity goo, mm yes please I would like another mimosa hold the OJ thanks…

What was I saying? Oh! Yes, things I hate. Let’s start with slide. No, I’m not talking about those things in the park next to the swings. I’m talking about the absolutely enraging expression “it was a slide into the DMs.” If you haven’t been living under a rock, you know that this is the stupid way young people describe encountering one another privately on a social media site for romantic/ sexual purposes.

In other words, he sent her a message.

For fuck’s sake. We already have normal words like message, text, and email. We don’t need this idiotic slide thing. It drives me bananas.

Next up is drop. This is a word we use in its appropriate sense all the time as in these examples:

1. He drops women after three dates.

2. Don’t drop the baby, Grandma!

3. I dropped the package off at FedEx.

In the past, we had a perfectly good word to describe the action of an artist releasing a new piece of work, whether a song, album, book, painting, etc. We used the word release, in fact! But now these irritating people are using the word drop just to annoy me.

“My single dropped at midnight.”

It sounds like code for a spy operative. “The dog didn’t bark?”

“No, he was poisoned by the double agent.”

“Funny, I thought you were the double agent.”

“Well, actually–”

๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Even more things I hate coming soon!

Denial

Alyssa tweets that we should deny sex to protest strict abortion bans, and while I am Pro-Choice, her idea is wacky. Only women who believe the same will be on board, and most of them are already with like-minded men, so we’re punishing men who agree with us? Not to mention the fact that sex shouldn’t be used as a prize. Plus the fact that the anti-sex people couldn’t be more thrilled. ๐Ÿ™„

~*~

Via Sammi

An Immodest Proposal

Let your writing take center stage! You work hard on your fiction and poetry, so don’t bury it down the screen after posting 27 lines of copypasta text from a prompt host. Why do people do this? Habit?

Stop. ๐Ÿ˜€

This is the order your fiction or poetry post should take.

1. Title (obviously).

2. Picture.

3. Your original writing (including any linked words going back to a prompt host).

4. A marker showing your piece has ended if you’re going to say something else. Write “The End” or put “***” or similar.

5. If needed, a short phrase linking back to one or more prompt hosts (for example, “Tuesday Monster Prompts”).

That’s it! There’s no reason to copypasta the prompt host’s entire post into your writing. It clutters up your post and takes away from your new work. Why should readers scroll past a huge pile of rules to get to your poem or story? By that time, the mood between the picture and your words has been broken. Even if you post the picture later, why bore your readers with this gobble upfront? Your writing is the star attraction!

If your work has inspired another blogger to try the prompt, great! They can then click through your linked word or phrase to the prompt host and read the rules there, download the pic, and copy the link. Then the host gets a visit. You don’t need to de facto become the new prompt host by reposting everything.

I realize I’m being bossy, but this is actually the right way, so. ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐ŸŽ‰

R is for Romancing [A2Z]

Romancing the Stone is an adventure romcom starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. I mentioned it in my review of the romance novel Heart of Fire because that story also involved a heroine trekking down to the jungle, etc. But in RTS we have a city girl (a romance novelist!) who is not an archaeologist and is totally unprepared to brave the dangers of Columbia. However, off Joan goes to rescue her sister, who’s being held for ransom by some baddies.

Joan encounters Jack (popular name for protags), who is also seeking the treasure map Joan needs to deliver to her sister’s kidnappers. Naturally, Jack is the antithesis of everything Joan dreams of in a man, but she changes her mind yada. I’m not too impressed with this storyline in my twilight years, since it mirrors reality too painfully ~ woman having to adapt to man instead of the other way around. In real life, you so often end up alone despite contorting or erasing your self to please Mr. Man, or you wish you were alone.

I mean, how many times are we going to need a snarky macho dude with lightning-quick reflexes to chop off a deadly snake’s head while we are trying to have a convo with him about something important to our heart? I’d rather have the empathetic verbally adept guy with mediocre snake-chopping skillz. Yes, I understand that it only takes the one deadly snake… so you spend your life adapting to snarky jerk just in case there’s ever a snake, and you never find anyone to fucking hear what you have to say.

Be that as it may, RTS is still a fun flick, and Danny DeVito is always hilarious.

Sorry to have digressed into a mini rant in the middle of this thrilling review series that no one cares about! ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคช

Here Comes the Sun

Fandango said I could grab his Sunshine Questions, so I am. I’m not in the mood to write a prompt story about an apocalyptic closet, which was my other idea.

If you could start your blog all over again, how would it be different, if at all, from your current blog?

I’d be completely anonymous and never reference anything about my real life, so I could indulge in all sorts of fantastical writings. And loads more bitching. I don’t bitch nearly enough, imo. Of course then I’d get some Primary Colors type detective figuring out who I am because I mention cupcakes one day. Bah!

What quote or saying do people spout but which is complete BS?

Anything about counting blessings, smiling, looking on the bright side, having a positive mental attitude, etc. Those things are hard-wired and it makes things worse for those of us who are not able to view life that way to constantly be told that our sadness/anxiety is our own fault. If you can’t be empathetic, then go smell some fucking flowers and leave us alone.

What is the dumbest way youโ€™ve been injured?

Oh geez. So many dumbs. Probably trying to open a Snapple with a steak knife and slicing my finger so badly I needed stitches.

Whatโ€™s the most interesting thing youโ€™ve read or seen this week?

Probably something about a crocodile eating a snake eating a snake eating a rat ~ oh wait! I’m confusing that with politics. Never mind.

What was the last picture you took with your smartphone (if you have one, or with your camera if you donโ€™t).

I have a question for anyone still reading: whatever happened to that Wednesday prompt from Patricia? It was one word and we wrote 5 lines about it. Is this another one of my glitches, that I’m not allowed to see it anymore? I’ve written to WP about my issues, but we know how that will go.

Thanks!

The Struggle Is Real (Green)!

Some friends and I decided to hang out Sunday, so naturally I had to buy some festive apparel. I know, you’re thinking… Paula, don’t you already have St. Patrick’s Day themed stuff from prior years? Well, not really! I have a hat, I guess, but that’s about it. I wore my greenish shirt on Friday to work, and it’s not that festive besides. I have a lime green sweater, but March 17th isn’t really about lime green, now is it? I used to have shamrock socks, but they got all holey. ๐Ÿ˜ข

So, Friday night I went onto the Target app, like you do, to commence shopping. There wasn’t anything I liked much in my local store, so I moseyed on over to Huntington Beach. Eh, a couple shirts were okay, and there were some cute socks and earrings. Then I had a brainstorm to try the men’s department. Well! The guys had adorable shirts! Beautiful green ones with the Lucky Charms logo (we just got plain white), and OMG a kitty shirt, black and white, with a widdle green hat!!! Obviously, I had to get the kitty shirt. Why wouldn’t they make it for women/juniors? Who even can figure out the logic to these things? ๐Ÿ™„

I ordered the shirt, socks, and earrings, paid for all that, and planned to pick them up the next morning. I was very happy… for about 5 minutes until I received an email saying those items were no longer available in Huntington Beach. Or Costa Mesa. WHAT? I began searching the whole area on the handy-dandy app. They said I could buy all the same things in Irvine on Barranca. FINE. I was very happy again… for like 5 minutes. Then they said I could only have the shirt. No earrings, no socks. Wtfff? What about the Target in Irvine Spectrum? NO. Westminster Mall. NO NO NO! You can’t have any festive socks or earrings. Get over it. ๐Ÿ˜ก

Ooh, I was so mad. This wasn’t the end of it though. I stayed up late, all energized by my fury. First thing Saturday morning I went right over to the Barranca Target and got my shirt ~ there was a minor drama however because they couldn’t find it at Guest Services and I was about to have a heart attack, but then they did, so I was okay. I went to Peet’s after that for coffee and a PB cookie (yummo). The reason Target was out of green things is because they took them away to make room for Easter things. I stopped at CVS, which sometimes has fun socks, but they too were all Easterized before St. Patrick’s Day. Kohl’s had one little sad display of green dishtowels. ANNOY! ๐Ÿ”ฅ

But then… then I went to Party City. And guess what? They had tons of St. Patrick’s Day stuff still on the shelves Because… because PEOPLE WANT TO BUY IT! And unlike Target, CVS, and Kohl’s, Party City likes to make money from people who want to buy things! What a unique and interesting concept! Stores keeping things in stock that people want to buy. Huh. Who would have thought? Capitalism at its finest, folks, right here in Huntington Beach. Or over there rather. Up there? Idk. Directions confuse me. WHATEVER! I bought green things, which is the point. Yayyy!!! ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ€

One-Liner Wednesday [rants in my pants]

I’m disgusted by the news from yesterday. And this time it doesn’t have anything to do with our horrible POTUS or one of his sycophants. I’m talking about the college admission scandal. Sure, people will roll their eyes and say it’s nothing new that the uber wealthy will pave the way for their children (we all try to help our children the best we can), but to me there’s a big diff in alumni daddy making a donation so his not so bright son can get a spot with less than stellar creds and these desperate celebs paying criminals to cheat for them. Paying a shill to take their kid’s SAT, or a proctor to change the answers, bribing a coach to say their kid is on a team when she’s not, sending in photoshopped fake pics of their kid playing a sport, on and on.

But to me the most awful thing is that these spoiled brat celeb kids don’t even give a crap about the value of these prestigious schools. They aren’t there to get a degree in order to make connections and start a career. Nope. Not at all. They already have connections and careers, thanks to their parents and their good looks. They have contracts as models and influencers. All they need the college for is to be able to add it as a hashtag.

It’s utterly nauseating. I hope the colleges throw every celeb kid out and give those spots to people who actually want to be there and have legit credentials.

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

A Bash

Big bashes aren’t my thing. I’m not bashing bashes ~ in fact, decades back, I had fun at big, loud parties. But as my migraines have become more easily triggered, it’s just not that much fun for me to be in huge crowds. I prefer smaller groups where you can have a meaningful conversation or play a game.

Sometimes people act like this preference is a personality flaw, a thing I should feel abashed about, but why should I get over it? It’s simply a preference. I don’t ask them to quit liking huge, noisy venues; I simply decline the invitation to attend.

I’ve noticed this comes up a lot, that things about me are deemed inferior traits. Maybe that happens to everyone, not just me. I understand it’s how they get you to click on articles and then be subjected to ads. Just this morning (yesterday now, since I’m going to schedule this for Saturday), I read an essay saying that people with the Myers-Briggs type that end in “J” have the most trouble dating. I’m an INFJ.

The article didn’t give us tips on how to deal with being a J. Nope. It said we should work on being not-J. The main trait of the J aspect is a dislike of uncertainty. We are list people. We want plans, and we like things to be settled. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t we focus on meeting someone else who enjoys an orderly life? No! Says the article. Change into a la-la type who is fine with maybes and disorder.

Annoying. The article has disturbed me all day. I can’t even concentrate on this awful Jennifer Aniston romcom I was looking forward to.

Yes, yes, I’m all off-topic now, but no one is actually reading this, so like whatever! My consciousness is streaming, which is the important thing.

Opposites Attract: Challenges 4 & 5

These two challenges are perfect for International Women’s Day! ๐ŸŒ

So many things have been forbidden to women over the centuries, depending upon the society. Certain professions were not deemed permissible for “the fairer sex.” Only in the last hundred years have women demanded and received the right to vote and manage their own money, here in the USA! It some cultures, it’s not allowable for women to drive or choose their own spouses. ๐Ÿ˜ก

On social media, wherever a woman may be physically located, it’s likely that in cyberspace she has experienced misogynistic bullying and trolling, if not worse. But she is still expected to be pleasant and have a smiling selfie as well as an emotionally generous and forgiving “tone,” lest she be accused of not being feminine. The horror! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Speaking of looks, in the dating arena (yes, we are back to that, pffft), a woman is expected to be fashionable. Men are always jabbering on about women’s looks, even when they say stupid things like they prefer “Mary Ann to Ginger,” as if Mary Ann’s pigtails and non-makeup makeup look didn’t take just as long to style as Ginger’s glam. But supposedly it’s okay for men to obsess about looks because they’re “visual” and can’t help it, but if a woman cares about comfort and security due to her DNA, then she’s a gold-digger, right guys? ๐Ÿ™„

Whatever! I’m just happy to be done with all that, and now I can schlump around in uncool corduroy pants, cozy unstylish sweaters, and all manner of comfy dowdy shoes that aren’t sexy in the least.๐Ÿ˜œ

Celery [SOCS]

Celery contained magical anti-calories, people thought. If you chomped on these stalks, the energy you expended chewing and digesting them would exceed the number of calories in the celery itself. So, all you had to do is eat celery all day and soon you would be celebrating your new trim and fit figure!

But of course if you kept eating pizza and nachos and milkshakes and candy bars with your stalks, the celery diet didn’t work, and you did not end up looking like your favorite celebrity, unless that celeb was President Taft. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Many crazy diets have come and gone since I read about the magic of celery as a teen. Some girls in my high school went on the 3-3-3 diet: 3 bananas, 3 hot dogs, 3 carrots every day. Very phallic. Why doesn’t my phone know phallic? I must not be writing about enough dicks; I blame my DEXIT.

People have jumped on this keto thing, but we all did the Atkins’ fad way back when. It’s nothing new. We’d order bacon double cheeseburgers and throw away the buns, hon. Sure, you’d lose weight because meat is satisfying and pasta is not, ounce for ounce. Sorry, vegetarians. Also, how much cheese can you eat without barfing? ๐ŸคฎThat is rhetorical.

Then came the 1980s when people decided fat was bad and carbs were good. They threw away their butter and chowed down on bagels the size of dinner plates. Why are we getting so fat, they moaned over their vats of spaghetti.

In the 1990s, I watched other moms load up their kids with constant snacks and juices. I tried not to do that; I had my own ideas about nutrition. But kids grow up and have to make their own choices eventually. I did not like to be Dictator Mom, about food or any other thing, except education, and that philosophy worked out well imo.

One of the things now is to shun prepared foods. Oh, that’s the new boogeyman! ๐Ÿ™„ It’s not that we’ve all been stuffing our faces with way too much food for way too long… it’s that we’re not tra-la-la-ing for hours through farmers’ markets every Saturday for fresh produce, and then spending the rest of the weekend cooking from scratch. The heck with writing books or having hobbies! We’re fat because we haven’t been slaving over a hot stove.

Bullshit. I call BS on all ideas of overweight except one: too many calories nommed up. I don’t care if they come from salad or salami or pasta or papayas. Too many in over time leads to fat layers on our bodies. There’s no magic cure except to eat fewer calories over time.

Personally, I love packaged and prepared foods. For single people who don’t want to buy wastefully in bulk, and who don’t want to spend their free time cooking, they are fabulous. But so is celery ~ and it comes in a package too.