Tag Archives: psychology

Two for Tuesday [movie reviews]

SPOILERS!!!!!

1. A Simple Favor.

This is one of the movies I was really looking forward to seeing. The previews were so tantalizing… and after watching Henry Golding slay in Crazy Rich Asians, I wanted to see him in another role. Plus, I was predisposed to like the female leads: Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick. Am I now going to say boo I hated it? Nope! I loved it. It was fabulous!

However. I would not have liked it as a book. Generally, I say to myself, self, I like the written version best and the screen is never as good as what I can imagine from the words. But not this time. There were several elements, one in particular (which I hesitate to reveal even to those who don’t mind spoilers), that are on my hate list. If I see this on a novel description, I won’t read the book. Yep, that bad. But I didn’t mind it in this movie.

There were other things that would have annoyed me as a reader ~ I would have paused and thought wtf? Why is this here? Gratuitous backstory weird sex scene. Unnecessary veering into the possibility of the supernatural. But the movie was too fast-paced to pause and think. It was just damn good fun with a satisfying ending.

I walked out grinning like an idiot. Love these three actors. Blake was especially great.

2. Puzzle. This is another movie I had been trying to pin down on Movie Pass and finally gave up. So, I just went and saw it on Sunday with a few friends. Odd flick. Not what I had expected.

I didn’t much like the protagonist. She’s supposed to be some sort of repressed genius whose mind works too damn fast for her mundane life, yet apparently not fast enough to pick up a book or any kind of smart hobby all these years until someone gives her a jigsaw puzzle. And then she doesn’t know where to buy another puzzle without traveling an hour or so by train into Manhattan to a special puzzle store. Because this genius has never heard of Target.

But they need her in the big city for the plot to work, so okay. And it seems we are supposed to dislike her husband, except I don’t. I actually dislike her new man, so there’s that. I don’t like people who jabber psychobabble at you that ostensibly is supposed to make you feel good about yourself, but is ultimately designed to manipulate you into doing what they want all along. I have a big thing about that actually! 😑 Oo Paula’s issues! But it was still an interesting movie overall about family dynamics and such, and I’m glad I saw it.

I’m looking forward to Colette, A Star Is Born, The Old Man & The Gun, Serenity, The Nutcracker & The Four Realms, Bohemian Rhapsody, Robin Hood, Welcome To Marwen, Mary Queen Of Scots, and Mary Poppins.

Geez, that’s a lot of movies. Good thing I have my trusty pass! πŸ™„

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Share Fair

This Week’s SYW:

What Is Your Favorite Beverage?Β  (for those who really dislike β€œfavorite” questions, hey, time to time, one just pops in and will not be denied).

– Constant Comment black tea with orange, hot with milk. If it’s beastly hot, then plain iced tea. I also love Coke and diet Coke, and occasional coffee when my tummy doesn’t get upset from it.

What Is Your Interpretation of “The Golden Rule”? Are there ramifications to breaking it?

– Despite all my TMI bloggery, I’m a MYOB type. I don’t ask a lot from people and I don’t expect much from them in return. I guess I would say do not unto others and I will get enraged when my boundaries are broken, since I’m careful to respect other people’s.

Sunrise person or sunset person?

– Love them both, and skyporn generally (cool pics of clouds). But I am more of a morning person usually.

Do people in modern society anthropomorphize animals too much?

– Let me ask Gatsby, my feline life partner.

and finally

What Were You Grateful For During the Past Week?

– Meh. That it wasn’t worse, I guess.

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Why Are We Writing Some Of These Questions In All Caps, but not otters? Stay tuned! Perhaps this mystery shall be solved in a future edition of… Share Your World!

Sunrise

Soft palette of morning light

Sweeps away the restless night:

Lilac, aqua, peach, and rose

Reanimate my fragile hopes.

The Pink Cupcake [a dating story]

A couple people have asked about my blog icon photo, so here’s the Saturday night special version. This isn’t a funny dating story with a twist at the end, but a stupidly sad one, or a sadly stupid one. Take your pick.

I had a relatively popular blog from 2004-2007ish. Then I grew weary of the (self-imposed) pressure to come up with funny and/or interesting poasts several times per day. Back then, I grabbed a lot of my topics from the news, including political stuff, and wasn’t afraid of generating arguments; now, I avoid this.

For a while, I tried keeping a super light blog about cats, cupcakes, and shoes only, but it became too boring for everyone, including me. Then my mom died, and my marriage broke up. Those two things aren’t related, but they’re both at the top of the life stress scale. I latched onto the first person who offered emotional support… and I fell in love with him. And he was married ~ one of those who was just waiting to leave when X happened, but then X turned into Y, and then Z. (He’s still there, living in the house with his wife long after X, Y, Z, yada.)

So, to cope I started a new blog, this one. My first poast was March 25, 2011. I didn’t talk directly about my relationship of course, since he knew about the blog too, but I would poast song lyrics and excerpts from books I was reading that alluded to it. Later, after we broke up, I did write a bit about how I felt at certain points, though I’ve probably deleted most of that now. Long-time readers will know him as TMW, short for “the man who broke my heart.”

In 2010, for his birthday I bought cupcakes for us. Not a cake because obviously he wouldn’t be able to take it home with him. I took a pic of mine ~ it was strawberry with a chocolate heart. Later I realized the heart was broken and I thought it was a neat pic. When I began the blog, I decided to use it for my “subtle” profile photo. If anyone asked, I figured I could say I was planning to resume doing cupcake reviews again. But I’m not planning to do that. I just like this photo. It’s held up over time.

In Praise Of The WP App

No, they aren’t paying me. Though they could, if they wanted to. I wouldn’t mind. πŸ™‚

I was not an app fan, until lately. Why do I need to clutter up my phone with dumb icons, I used to whine? I can just go to the websites. But then I got clued into the fact that apps gobble less battery. Ooh, that’s nice. Next I realized that Twitter is actually better on an app. Can’t explain ~ it just is. After that came the banking and insurance apps ~ not only more convenient, but more secure. Well!

But that’s enough. I’m certainly not going to write lengthy poasts and emails on apps, I sniffed. I need a real keyboard for these dreamy endeavors. And then I destroyed my laptop on July 4th with a glass of iced tea. Whoops! Since I didn’t feel like running right out and buying a new laptop, I began using my phone for everything. Including those long emails and bloggeries.

That’s where the WP app comes in. Not only is it ideal for starting and saving draft ideas, it also has a great newsfeed. I can read, like, and save other poasts! 🀩 In the past, whenever I wanted to save another blogger’s poast for linking later, I had to keep it open in a browser tab. Sometimes I screwed that up and closed it. Now, all saved poasts are in a tab in the app. So fab! Easier to select categories and tags via the app and to schedule poasts. Also, it’s easy peasy to edit or delete one of my own published rants and do blog admin stuffs.

It’s not perfect, alas. This morning I was forced to return to the browser newsreader when I realized that the app reader had missing poasts. Yep, there was a 6-hour window in the middle of the night through which a pile of poasts up and fluttered bye. πŸ¦‹ Sad! And the browser newsreader felt clunkier than ever. I could like poasts but not save any. There were annoying “you might like these” blogs mished in with the ones I follow. This made me appreciate the WP app even more. They need to keep the windows closed though.

However, fingers x’d, I am picking up a new (used) Mac tonight, so I will have a real keyboard again shortly. As the days grow shorter, I will resume my favored position of sitting at my kitchen table, WIP in front of me on the screen, while staring out the window at nothingness. But I will keep any beverages far, far away from the puter! 😜

Not A Feast Fan

Unlike most Americans, I don’t like Thanksgiving. I’m not talking about the traffic and travel hassles, though those are indeed irritating, but the feast itself. I personally see no reason to stuff myself with more food than I normally eat just because it’s the fourth Thursday in November. I mean, why? To celebrate what exactly? It’s nice having a 4-day weekend of course ~ I’ll celebrate that, if I don’t have to travel anywhere or overeat.

I also don’t like buffets and potlucks much for similar reasons. It’s really hard not to overeat, whatever your intentions. Part of that is because you don’t have standard servings of a couple things, but several tiny dollops, so it appears you’re taking only little bits of this and that, but you end up with more and more. Plus dishes at these events generally aren’t as tasty as a single item off the menu, so paradoxically you tend to try more of them, hoping in vain to be satisfied. (This can be a useful analogy for other things.)

Of course I understand my anti-feasting position sounds incredibly crabby, but it’s actually very logical. Many people have an emotional reaction to the mention of holidays because of family and traditions yada blah, but it’s really okay to question the things we’ve always done, and their specifics, and ask why we do them and if they are, in fact, a good thing. Well, I’ve always thought it was okay anyway. I have my own way of doing things.

I like to lead the examined life… I like to put the magnifying glass so close to the blade of grass I don’t even know wtf I’m looking at any longer.

A Bit Of Pontificating

It’s been a while since I said anything controversial and pissed people off. I shall attempt to remedy that right meow. 🐱

Like everyone else, I believe I have achieved the perfect balance between extremes. Almost no one categorizes herself as a loony lefty or a rightwing wacko, though we can all easily find some (if we so desire), label them, and mock. I’m no exception and neither are you. How does that feel? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

We all want to be special. We like to think our ideas are exciting and unique, but mostly they’re not. So sad. Sometimes we get jealous and irritated at people who, for whatever reason, have staked a claim to fame, so we criticize them. I do. You do too, right? I probably could find a hundred better uses of my time. Even checking the news now is mostly a waste of time, since it’s almost all repetitive garbage about our horrible POTUS and celebrity fluff.

Did you catch that last sentence? Like most reasonable people, I think the POTUS is a deranged, narcissistic moron, but you may have also noticed I don’t spend much time talking, poasting, or tweeting about him. What’s the point? I wouldn’t be saying anything new or interesting, and I’d just get myself all riled up. For nothing. I’ll make my preferences known on my ballot.

Note that I’m not criticizing people who spend loads of time focused on hating the Prez. Go for it. Some folks make a living that way, but even if you don’t and you’re having fun, great. I don’t find the hate-follow to be enjoyable ~ in fact, I try to block the things I hate. The entire Trump family is blocked from my twitter feed, and I only wish I could block them and the KarJenners from regular news as well. I actually consider them on the same level, though I guess Kylie is richer than all of them because… lipstick?

Maybe I’m just jealous. I admit it might be nice to be a beautiful billionaire. I’d at least be willing to try it for a year, hey. If it didn’t work out, no hard feelings, I’ll leave with a nice parting gift of $100M, okies? And all the clothes and plastic surgery, natch. πŸ˜€

It’s been almost 6 months since I deleted my Facebook account, and I find that my peace of mind has increased accordingly. I encourage everyone who feels stressed by the level of hate and negativity online to consider giving up Facebook ~ it really is a pit of despair. I’m not talking about the ads and scammers, which are bad enough, but your friends. Yes, them. Your friends are depressing. I’m not making this up ~ there have been studies. No, I’m not spoon-feeding you links; you know where Google is. If you have a bunch of sad friends talking about their sads, it will tend to bring you down. If you have a bunch of shiny, happy friends poasting about their perfect lives, you’ll get down about that, even if you suspect they’re faking it. And then there’s all the relentless arguing about shit that doesn’t matter in the context of friendship. Do we really have to engage in vicious name-calling with friends of friends, people we will never meet, over abortion, gay rights, immigration, etc.? Why?

I’m outta that horror stew for good. I know there are folks who get into the same (or worse) mess on Twitter, but I’m not one. I don’t jump into controversial threads, and my own little tweets never go viral. Exiting FB didn’t cure all my problems, but it was a nice start. I’ve exited many other online time-wasters too, such as Instagram. And guess what? I don’t miss taking constant pics of my food. Gawd, that was silly.

I’m trying to stop reading comments on news articles because they’re just a magnet for trolls and other nasty types. I condemn any publication that allows anonymous, unmoderated comments in order to boost clicks. It’s just wrong and encourages racists and misogynists and all manner of bullies to spew their hate. Whenever I see one of these creepsters, I do not engage, but use whatever means available to block them from engaging with me online. I know that’s not everyone’s way (and didn’t use to be mine either), but I find it works best for me now. The more you feed them, the more they will return. It’s a universal law.

I guess that’s enough pontificating. For now. Kinda got into it… might do moar soon. Consider yourself warned!

Activity vs Energy

Two perfect words popped up as prompts today: activity and energy. This is a great follow-up to my migraine poast because many days are a balancing act between wanting to participate in more activities and lacking the energy because of dealing with a chronic disease. Managing migraine is a serious job.

Today is a good example. I woke with a bad migraine and had to take Rx meds in order to go to work (Excedrin was not gonna cut it). They helped, but by the time I got home I was exhausted. I have no “spoons” left for anything social, and right now I am trying to summon up some scraps of energy to do a bit of exercise. This is pretty ordinary for me and I’m sure other chronic pain people can relate.

Check out Amanda Workman’s article about how migraines affect our social life. She really nails it.

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Btw, it was amusing trying to find a scales or balance photo in the WordPress free media library. Scales produced snakes, and balance gave me yoga. So, I had to steal from Google. Whaddaya gonna do?

Monk(ey) Business [SOSC]

The otter week a couple friends and I began talking about how much we like the show Mrs. Maisel, and specifically we mentioned the father’s character, played by Tony Shalhoub. That reminded me I’d never seen Monk, which he stars in. I always meant to, and Prime has it, but you know… busy organizing socks. Anyway, I started it and am now almost done with S3. I plan to watch all of it (why not?), five seasons or so, except I will take a break soon for a Mission Impossible marathon, since I just bought the first five DVDs, and I’ve never seen any of those movies.

I love the character of Adrian Monk, and some of the supporting side chars are great too (the cops), but I don’t love the show. Does that make sense? Well, it doesn’t have to, pffft. This is stream of consciousness Saturday, and my stream has a lotta meanders in it. Not to mention rocks. And slimy toads on lilypads. Rebbit! God, my phone’s spellcheck is so annoying! What’s wrong with lilypad and rebbit? What was I even talking about anyway? Oh, Monk.

People think I’ll relate to him because of certain OCD tendencies I have, but really mine are nothing compared to real OCD. I do notice things being crooked, out of place, off-center, etc. and that bothers me somewhat, but whatever. In my own personal environment, I strive to keep things neat and clean, matched, aligned, organized, etc., but I’m not a maniac about it. My apartment right now has zillions of imperfect areas. And I don’t bother fixing them. Because eh. Endless. I never touch other people’s stuff, a la Monk, to align it. I’m also not a huge germaphobe like he is. I mean, I’m aware of ucky stuff everywhere, but yet I live a normal life and even have a pet. I touch public bathroom doors without using a paper towel. Yikes.

I could never be a cop ~ I don’t notice details about people, not relevant ones anyway. I might notice something like a woman’s part was really crooked, and the color of her hair, but I’ll fail to remember what she was wearing or anything she said. Or I might remember something really witty a man said but nothing about how he looked. It varies hugely. And I never notice people’s cars, unless they’re BMWs, at which point I will make all sorts of negative assumptions about their character even though I know some BMW drivers are good people. Well, I know of one.

One thing I enjoy about Monk, the show, is that it does progress, albeit glacially. After almost three seasons, Monk has cleaned out the office that belonged to his wife who died like 10 years ago. I’m happy to see that there is hope for him to be “normal” once again. He always had the eidetic memory apparently, but he seemed to be able to enjoy a loving relationship with his wife and a successful career as a detective. One thing I could relate to was his inability to retake the test to get his old job back a few shows ago. He kept erasing the first answer to fill in the box more perfectly and ran out of time. I can imagine doing something like this under extreme stress/anxiety. Which is a weird thing for me to say because test-taking is (was) my forte, but as I age I find it is not true so much and I get freaked out at the idea of tests or anything timed. Even timed games can upset me, especially if there are sounds.

My hypothesis is that when I was younger all these things like tests and dating and rollercoasters etc. which gave me an adrenaline rush were “fun” simply due to some physical chemical reaction, but that reaction occurs differently now because my aging brain processes the chemicals differently, and what was once perceived as yay-stress is now interpreted as boo-stress. (Sorry to get so technical with scientific jargon like yay and boo.)

One of the things I dislike about Monk, the show, is the samey sameness of the plots. They’re ridiculous. And as Monk’s new assistant points out: he’s like the Prince of Darkness. He witnesses a murder, so they have to be sequestered at a cabin in the woods until the trial, which led to some funnies with his OCD, but then naturally there’s yet another murder at the next cabin over. There’s always something like this every time. But since I like Monk, the character, I keep the show on at home in the background… whenever I pay attention again, I don’t feel I’ve missed much. So, in a way, the bug has turned into a feature.

I am starting to like background noise again. My own thoughts are too loud and that was the problem with writing in dead silence night after night weekend after weekend… Paula’s Yelly Brain. I’ll need a new show once Monk is done though. I’m starting to have slight anxiety about what to replace it with ~ it needs to be like Monk, engrossing but not too heavy. I have to be able to fall asleep in the middle of one ep and begin the next one later without a loss of anything important. It can’t be a show full of loads of character development or anything like that. A crime show would be good, I guess, where the crimes don’t really matter because you’re tuning in to see the same main characters behave the same ways every time. Or a comedy, if it’s not too stupid.

Ideas?

Day 2 of 3 Lyrical Challenge

Thank you Irene for the nom!

Yesterday I poasted a relatively cheery song, which is a bit out of character for me, though I do enjoy all sorts of lyrics, as long as they’re interesting or funny or have some kind of play on words. But nothing beats a dark, depressing song that vibes with my shattered heart and broken soul, not that I believe in souls. Thus, I present “Love Is A Stranger” written by Annie Lennox and David Allan Stewart aka The Eurythmics and released in 1983.

In 1983, I was 22, also broken-hearted, but in a different way from my current state because I was young and resilient. But I didn’t know that at the time. I still felt like a zombie, just like it says, stumbling through the debris, believing my misery would last forever. When I liked this song, back then, I was attracted to the new love stranger danger part, but now all I can see (for me) is the savage cruel false and unkind aspect. I know others have better experiences and I’m happy for you.

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Love is a stranger
In an open car
To tempt you in
And drive you far away
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you so
It’s an obsession
Love is a danger
Of a different kind
To take you away
And leave you far behind
And love love love
Is a dangerous drug
You have to receive it
And you still can’t
Get enough of the stuff
It’s savage and it’s cruel
And it shines like destruction
Comes in like the flood
And it seems like religion
It’s noble and it’s brutal
It distorts and deranges
And it wrenches you up
And you’re left like a zombie
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you so
It’s an obsession
It’s guilt edged
Glamorous and sleek by design
You know it’s jealous by nature
False and unkind
It’s hard and restrained
And it’s totally cool
It touches and it teases
As you stumble in the debris
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you so
It’s an obsession

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(Note “guilt edged.” Love that.)

Today I challenge Keera, Janet, and Roy. Thank the challenger (that would be yours truly). Then do three days of song lyrics and challenge three bloggers each day to the same. Have fun. πŸ˜€