Tag Archives: psychology

FPQ89: Karma Chameleon

FPQ

Fandango provocatively asks…

Do you believe in karma (or a similar “reap what you sow” notion)? Why or why not?

I have a karma-ish belief. It’s more of the reap/sow Christian idea than the Eastern wheel/reincarnation structure. We can observe that actions have consequences, and some of the consequences take years to be fully realized. This isn’t a woo belief; it’s just logic.

Some people seem to lie in wait for karma to “strike” those they dislike, but it’s not always going to be observable. You’re not going to see every ruthless, selfish, greedy person crashing publicly to a terrible end. But many do suffer, which is why they’re so nasty. Pain, whether physical or emotional, can make people act badly toward others. We can infer their suffering by their behavior.

Perhaps more importantly, large-scale results occur after groups of people behave in a similar way. Again, they may take years to actualize, and even then are open to our interpretation. Look at this plague, forex, and how it’s affecting peeps/culture. We certainly haven’t been respecting the earth much lately, and I’m not the only one who “joked” last year that Mother Nature finds ways to rid herself of vast numbers of pesky humans from time to time….

However much we fantasize about karma as a vengeful goddess who smites our enemies, though, it mostly doesn’t work that way. But we can console ourselves that bad people who hurt others/animals often do get hurt at some point as a result of their own behavior. Karma however is more of a long game, group punishment idea (to me). We’re all going to suffer as the logical results take shape from the actions of a powerful few…

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Truthful Tuesday Halloween

Halloween

PCGuyIV continues his series by asking us if we think Halloween should be “canceled” this year because of the plague, and more specifically if people should trick-or-treat.

I don’t think Halloween should be canceled. People can dress up, take pics, have parties over Zoom, and post to social media. Isn’t the whole point of Halloween (for adults) to end up with sexy and/or stupid photos to stick on Instagram or wherever? That can be done safely this year… just don’t get together in person.

Regarding trick-or-treating… that can be done safely. Dress up and wear masks. Hang with your “pod” only and stay 6 feet away from everyone else. People can put their candy outside, watch the cute kids from the window, and wave. As far as teenagers taking all the candy, just put it away at 8pm. The little kids should be done by then anyway.

I don’t see why Halloween should be dumped at all. It’s pretty easy to make a few changes and stay safer. 🎃

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

My Favorite Mistake

Blogging insights tanya

Dr. Tanya continues her blogging about bloggers’ blogs blog bloggery by asking what we did wrong way back when. My wayback is probably older than most, since I began all this in 2003, with a blog on blogspot named “Ultrablog ~ Purple prose from Orange County… it’s ULTRAVIOLET!” That was my Usenet nickname and a group of us were fond of trying new fads. I took to blogging right away and even purchased a template to match my purple theme. Loads of my fellow Usenetters have disappeared from Blogland and simply hang out on Facebook now. But I like blogging best of all social media. 😍

Bitmoji happy balloons

My posts back then were about me and my opinions. I didn’t post much or any fiction/poetry; instead I blabbed on about my takes on the news or annoying incidents and just whatever. I did jabber way more about my kids, people I knew, and even work a little. I hate to say this, but because I was married to a lawyer, I felt safe in doing as I pleased. I had no fear of writing absolutely horrible stuff to other Usenetters while engaging in “combat prose” (it was mutual) and adding my bit of badness to the atmosphere of awfulness that has become exponentially worse as time goes on. My Usenet attitude/persona carried over into my blogging. 😎

Bitmoji zero chill

Most of my posts were short then, except a few frothy rants, and I generally flung some nonsense out 2-3 times per day. I received tons of comments and views because I had linked up with other bloggers who wanted to increase their stats, and we all visited each other’s posts constantly. I got totally caught up in the stats obsession and felt bummed out when my views sunk below 300/day or a post failed to get comments in the double digits. I participated in blog arguments and deliberately took on controversial views, all in order to get more “hits.” Finally, I ended up in a nasty flamewar (over pit bulls, lol), flamers began impersonating each other, my comment section got wrecked, and I quit. 😡

Bitmoji over it

My mistakes were obvious: worrying about stats, deliberately fanning flames, jumping into arguments at other blogs, and revealing too much about my life, including photos. I consoled myself that I did less of all this than the super-popular mommy bloggers, but even so. Ick! 😝🙁😢

I missed blogging though. I began a few new boring ones, a couple private ones, and this one… which ended up as my favorite. The others are all gone with some archived in my own files. When I started on WordPress, I was determined not to care about stats, not to post about politics, and not to get involved in arguments. If anyone starts crap here, I ban them. I did make some new mistakes though ~ when I was dating (🤮), I would post about some of the things that upset me or that I found funny. Then, when I met someone I actually liked (rare), I’d frantically delete all the dating posts before they could read them. Rinse, repeat.

bitmoji dizzy falling spinning

I haven’t deleted a post here in a long time. I doubt I would even if I met someone I liked romantically. They’d just have to deal with who I really am, and vice versa. 🤪 Not that I can imagine this happening imminently or even ever! 🤣 Anyway, I still enjoy blogging a lot, love the feedback on my writing, and have no plans to quit, despite the periodic glitches we have to deal with. Personally, I find the block editor a lot less annoying than that jerk who was copying our content a while ago. There will always be something…

Bitmoji amirite

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji

Memory Container [socs]

Kaleidoscope colorful patterns

The mind makes only a mediocre container for memories. Some sneak out the door the day they arrive, crafty as a cat, while others drip down the drain in a slow leak. When you search for them all you find is debris. Some memories mutate every time you examine them and never appear the same way twice. My mind used to have a large storage area for facts, stacked neatly, easily accessible during tests, but I visited the warehouse recently and everything had been cleaned out. Helloooo, I called, but there was only an echo. Old memories turn up like random socks stuck in a sleeve. Hey! What are you doing in there? There are times I am absolutely certain of the accuracy of a memory, but it’s wrong. Then there are feeling memories… how I felt when something occurred, and how I perceived someone else’s feelings. These are hopelessly tangled up like a pile of crazy string. What if I only think I felt something because I used it in a poem, but it transformed in my imagination? Can I revert back to the original? I need to visit the Container Store!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Four for Pondering

Four aces

Rory has some great questions for us today as he continues his Friday Four prompt…

**What is more important to you – to be ‘Liked’ or to be Respected?’** What do you believe to be the difference between admiration and respect or do you find them to be the same?** Likability and friendship are two different things. Being likable to many is great, but being a great friend to a few (or one) is rare – what do you think to that statement – true or false, agree or disagree? How uniquely YOU are you in a world filled with variations of you anyway – what seperates YOU from the rest of the world and makes you Youniquely You??

1. Is it more important to me to be liked or respected? I know most people are going to say “respected” with some sort of comment about how they’re true to their values and would rather be respected for that than liked for smiling and going along. Well, I’m not most people. I would rather be liked as a helpful friend who is nice and funny and caring. I know for a fact there are people who see me this way but disrespect my values and political positions. I’m fine with that and I see no need to argue with them about issues none of us will budge on. This is why I don’t blather (much) about politics online. Not putting down those who do, but I’d rather keep my interactions positive.

Bitmoji happy balloons

2. Do I differentiate between admiration and respect? Yes, but it only works one way. What I mean is that if I respect someone, I can easily find something to admire about them, even something small. However, I can admire someone’s success without having respect for them as a person. Many celebs are in this category for me.

3. “Likability and friendship are two different things. Being likable to many is great, but being a great friend to a few (or one) is rare – what do you think to that statement – true or false, agree or disagree?” I obviously agree with this because I wrote it! Thanks, Rory, for including my thoughts. I know people who are liked by many ~ it seems important to them to collect as many “friends” as possible ~ but in my experience they are too busy spreading themselves around to have enough time and energy to focus on one true friendship. On the other hand, I know people who aren’t popular, but they will be there 100% for a few.

4. What makes me unique? Nothing! I don’t consider myself anything special, which is not meant to be a negative (see my remark about celebs). There’s nothing wrong with living a quiet, ordinary life and finding joy in small things.

Bitmoji purr cat

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji

Romance [42 words]

Couple silhouette romance

Romance is full of velvet roses,
Champagne, dancing, moony lust.
Those things are transitory,
Soon left to crumble into dust.
I’d rather have a loyal friend,
Someone I can fully trust,
True companions till the end…

Guess I’m talking more of love.

~*~

Written for Deb’s Challenge 27.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Chaos/Order

Colorful cosmos

Let the extraneous fade away;
Begone the chaos of the day,
For I cannot control time’s cascade.
Instead I focus on the small:
A leaf, a bud, the soothing rain,
The wind that whispers down the hall.
If I am mindful when night falls,
Will I sense an order to it all?

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Written for Eugi’s Weekly Prompt.

Image credit to lovethispic.

The Monday Peeve 54

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the TMP tag, link back to me (or not), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen. I have feelings!

Doesn’t it annoy you when someone says something like “you can do a thing because that person did the thing?” Whatever it is — quitting smoking, getting rid of migraines, exercising more, publishing a book, finding true love, etc. — the premise is that someone else did it so I can too. Huh. So we’re all the same, a giant mass of cookies cut from the same dough the same way, and if one of us survives being stomped on by an elephant, then the rest of us can too. Did you know that some woman somewhere wrote a novel in the middle of the night after taking care of kids, job, house, hubby, found an agent after querying 500,000 of them, and is now on the bestseller list, negotiating movie rights, and buying a mansion? Ergo, I should have been able to do this as well.

There are variations to this theme. A particular irksome one is that X group of people are successful, so Y group has no excuse for not being successful also. This not only assumes that all people are the same and started out in the same circumstances, BUT ALSO have been treated the same by others. Another variation is the person who got lucky with an investment, is now all smug about his “brilliance,” and drones on that other people should be smarter about money, when it was JUST LUCK that he hit it big. We don’t hear about his other thousand investments that tanked, just the one fabulous pick.

Blah. This year sucks!

RIP RBG 😢

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image altered from the original on Pixabay.

Procrastination… [socs]

Writing quill ink

Fiction is my jam and fires my imagination, though I often take a vacation into poetry, which I can write much faster than a novel. The construction of characters, plot, and setting is a delicate operation because all three elements must merge in a believable and interesting combination. Even a fantasy world must follow its own rules; readers will pick up on any violation and feel separation from the story. Right now, I’ve been working on a novel for a few years and the current distancing situation has given me more free time to write. Inspiration is easy; motivation can be tougher. I always have things to say, but I’m not always in the mood to function as my own scribe. I excel at procrastination and my attention wanders away from the keyboard. But I’ll get there eventually and have another work in my collection for your selection or rejection.

Writer laptop

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ87: Pandemic Pondering

FPQ

Today Fandango provocatively asks…

Having been subjected to stay at home restrictions (to one degree or another) over the past six months, would you say that the quarantine has made you a better person? If so, in what ways? If not, why not?

Yes, I do think it has made me a better person regarding doing things for others. In the past, I viewed dangers as something only to worry about for myself (and immediate family), but now I think more about the wider implications of my actions. Let’s take mask wearing. I hate wearing a mask. Just gonna say it straight up. I find them super uncomfortable and annoying. In the past, I might have worn one to protect myself, but now I wear one for that reason and also because I don’t want to infect others, should I catch The Thing and not be symptomatic for a few days or so.

I’ve also learned that I’m not as much of a loner as I thought. While I have a higher tolerance for loneliness than most people I know, it’s not infinite. After a while, I really crave in-person conversation. And zooming is not a good substitute for me. It’s okay for playing games at times, but it doesn’t make me feel I’ve been with people. Kinda like cybersex back in the day…

Perhaps it’s made me a worse person too though, in that I have less tolerance for some beliefs. Or maybe that’s better! I used to be pretty accepting of quirky ideas, but now I’m not. But maybe it’s time I quit thinking that every lunatic notion is “interesting.” We’ll leave it at that.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.