Tag Archives: psychology

A Glut of Glitches

Mistakes have been made,

But no one will be blamed…

“These things happen.”

Maybe some are my fault;

It’s hard to know exactly

Where the fingers slip

And the glitches begin…

Symptoms of the po-mo age,

And it could be worse–

It could be raining.

I should disconnect,

Go gridless and rest,

Get some exercise

Emerge from my nest

Of electrical tech

Into the sunshine.

That sounds sublime,

But I’d feel so alone

Without all the souls

Who live in my phone.

Behind the Blogger

THE RULES:

• Thank the person who nominated you

Thank you, Laura!

• Answer all the questions down below

Okay…

• Pingback to the creator: Ellyn @ Allonsythornraxx

• Nominate 5+ bloggers you’d like to know more about, to do this tag

🙄🙄🙄

1. Why did you start blogging & why have you kept blogging?

Began in 2003 because it seemed like fun. Have had various blogs through the years to connect with others who enjoy writing in public. It’s a great way to generate immediate feedback.

2. What is your favorite type of blog post to write?

Flash fiction or poetry.

3. What are your top 3 favorite blog posts?

Postcards from Afar

Valentines

Brumation

4. What are some of your favorite things to do to relax?

Read, write, repeat.

5. What are 3 of your favorite things?

My family, my kitty, and reading.

6. What are your proudest blogging moments?

My recent sci-fi stories.

7. What are your hobbies outside of blogging?

There’s something outside of blogging?

8. Describe your personality in 3 words:

Obsessive, solipsistic, and green.

9. What are your top 3 pet peeves?

1. Excessively loud people, including parents who let older children scream in public. (Yes, I realize a tiny percentage of these children are disabled in some way; I’m talking about all the other ones.) This also includes truck beepy backups. Yes, I know what they’re for. Do not care. And it includes grocery and other stores that need to shriek announcements to employees over an intercom system. Text them, ffs!

2. People who pollute the world with their disgusting garbage because the bin is full so hey toss it on the ground why not? And people who litter in general destroying our planet including and especially all the big corporations and the corrupt politicians they bribe.

3. Basically people. All of them.

10. What’s something your followers don’t know about you?

Nothing.

Tag – You’re It!

Anyone who hasn’t done this yet should have a go!

One-Liner Wednesday

This goes with my previous musings about free will and such. I’m very proud of the fact that I “taught” Gatsby to catch a toy in midair as if it were a bird.

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

Rory’s S’mores

Another Guy Called Bloke Production!

***

At what point in our lives do you think we think we are good enough?

Speaking only for myself… never! I wake every day knowing there are goals to achieve and improvements to make.

***

In life, what do you consider beautiful?

Cats, poetry, art of various forms, nature (flowers, sunsets, birds, butterflies, etc.), and of course my family.

***

Do you think that when we dream, we can dream within a dream? But if you don’t dream, why do you think that is?

Yes, definitely. I have dreamt about dreaming.

***

How do you manage your stress or do you not suffer from stress?

It varies. I don’t handle stress well at all, so I try to eliminate it at the source ~ this is why I gave up dating, where others persevere through unpleasantness. I can’t tolerate the bad. It literally makes me sick. But some things can’t be helped; stuff appears out of the blue. I will get physically ill and have to deal with that. I’ll get migraines and take medicine. My sleep will suffer. Etc. I severely manage down interactions with people so that my stress is minimized.

***

Are there things or maybe just one thing you wish to achieve before you die?

I did want to have success as a writer, but I don’t see that happening. I’m not talented enough, nor do I have the patience to endlessly slog away on a novel anymore when I can get instant feedback via short blog posts.

***

Some experience many things during their lifetimes, but do you think there is something that everyone should experience at least once?

No.

***

Are you afriad to be different? To stand out from the crowd, to push away your peers if needs be and say “I am ME!”

No. I’m more afraid of being one of them, though generally I blend in wherever I go, at least superficially. I realize that sounds contradictory, but it’s not. I blend in just enough so that no one notices/bothers me, and then I get away as fast as I can to be apart from them.

***

Which do you think is easier ‘to hate or to love?’

To hate obviously. Humans are all about forming groups and excluding other humans in order to hate and possibly kill them.

FPQ19: Is It Fate?

Fandango provocatively asks:

“Do you believe in fate and/or predestination? If so, what or who is the source? If you do believe in predestination, is there anything anyone can do to change their predestined fate?”

And bonus: “If you believe God is the source, and God has already determined the future for each of us, why should people bother to pray?”

This is a doozy. I’m probably not going to be able to explain my thoughts that well ~ I’ve been messing up a lot lately anyway. My posts are full of typos, errors, and calling people by the wrong name. I have no excuses.

I don’t believe in God or anything supernatural, but there’s a whole lot of “natural” I don’t fully grasp because I don’t have the science knowledge or the vocab to express my hazy thoughts. That said, I’ll answer the praying question anyway: people pray because it makes them feel good and gives them hope, which they then offer to others out of kindness, and what’s wrong with that? You don’t have to share their beliefs to understand that they’re doing something nice.

So, “fate.” Taking out any supernatural elements, there are two components left (imo): time and free will. I don’t fully understand the concept of time, but I lean toward the interesting idea that everything has already happened and we’re simply experiencing it in a way our minds can grasp it. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take precautions and do all our normal, sensible things. But whatever occurs next will occur regardless.

In the same way, I don’t much believe in free will. I think our actions are dependent upon and determined by what came before, biologically and environmentally. In this way, I believe we are “fated” to do the things we do, simply as a result of who we are, but not because some spirit in the sky is directing the show.

Sorry, if none of this makes any sense! 😜

Little Bit of Soul

Soul mates are the stuff of poetry and romance novels, and who doesn’t love a good fairy tale? It’s hard to believe in a soul mate if you don’t believe in souls though; and souls come packaged up with all that other mystical glitter I can’t quite wrap my brain around. Despite my creative forays, my heart is made of math. One of my favorite lines from a romance novel was “she had his number, and it was 666.” I would credit the book and the author if I could remember either, but I can’t. I don’t think I ever dated the devil, just your ordinary liars and narcissists, but that guy wasn’t the devil of course. They never are, in romance novels. No matter what kind of terrible choice the romance novel heroine appears to be making with her wild and crazy attraction, it’s always exactly the right choice. But that’s because we’re writing her story. I have written my own stories, with my own heroes. Perhaps that’s why I’m solo.

Friday Noms

Well, just one nom actually, from the lovely Laura, but there might be more noms… how would I know, since WordPress has decided I shouldn’t have posts while I sleep. Meh, say the happiness engineers, why should we bother putting posts in her feed between 10pm and 6am? She’s not going to read them while she’s in dreamland, lol! Funny guys (guys being a gender inclusive term in this case). 🙄

Anyhoodle. Thank you, Laura. I appreciate the one nom. I was going to say one measly nom, but that makes me sound ungrateful plus also might get the whole vax debate started up, though why there should be a debate GOD ONLY KNOWS. What a bunch of idiots, amirite? If you don’t want to vax, move to Antarctica. Problem solved. ❄️

I’m supposed to tell all y’all 7 things about me now, as if there are even 7 things left you don’t know (well, there are, but I can’t post them), so I’ll just jabber on a bit and see where it goes. Beware of rambling. 😛

1. I’ve been thinking this week that I don’t have enough time and energy to finish my novel now that I have actual side work that pays. I don’t have hours of free time at night and on weekends to write the way I used to. And I’m not giving up paying work. 💰

2. I have written novels, so it’s not a matter of proving to myself or anyone else that I’m capable of doing it. They’re for sale and have been for years. They don’t sell though, since I’m a nobody with no marketing resources. 🎻

(Please don’t give me marketing advice in comments. I’ve read tons of it, and it’s all way too time intensive for me with minimal payoff. I already have paying work I am not willing to take time away from.)

3. The fact that my novels (and books of short stories and poetry) molder on Amazon year after year, bringing in only a measly dollar or two here or there, doesn’t give me much hope for the success of the next one. Sure, I still enjoy the process of writing because I’m a writer, and I’ll always write when there’s nothing else going on, but then when there’s no money or feedback? Sadness. 😢

4. If I can’t make money from writing, the next best thing is to get people to read my stuff. And I have that right here! Thanks to this fabulous community of supportive WP peeps (along with a few otters), my little blog poems and short stories get read all the time now, which is a great feeling. ❤️

5. I’m tired of feeling stressed every week that I didn’t get “enough” done when I work 7 days a week now, including most nights after my real job when I get home. This doesn’t include chores, shopping, etc. Yes, mostly everyone else does all this too, but there’s no need for me to feel like a failure because I didn’t work on my novel. I can simply take it off the list. ✅

6. Ironically, since the time change, I’ve gotten more sleep… and it’s nice. I don’t feel physically better at all, but it’s so great not to be exhausted and achy. So, perhaps that’s what’s prompted this line of thinking. I just don’t want to feel obligated to write for two hours after working after work. Wtf? That’s nuts. And I don’t want to get up at 4:30am and write. Wtfff??? Who does that?? (Well, I did, many years ago.) 😴

7. What I really should do, if I had any sense (lol) is to prioritize exercise, so I could live long enough to finish all my unfinished writings after I have more time once I retire in 12ish years. Danger, danger… adding more things to list! Assuming, that is, I make it to retirement without getting hit by a truck, drowning in a tsunami, or being bitten by someone’s pet cobra that escapes and comes boinging up in my toilet bowl.

Could happen. 🐍

K. That’s 7, arbitrarily broken into paragraphs and numbered. No tags. You’re all awesome and should jabber on about yourselves too. Not you, Becky. 😀

Nose & Sose

Another Guy Called Bloke Production…

Talked to a complete stranger about life.

Never! Well, except for my blog blabbing and how I used to blurt stuff out to weird men on dating sites and…

Gone skydiving.

That is a 100% no way!

Got a tattoo.

Also nopety nope.

Had an allergic reaction.

So way. My parents called emergency in Chicago for me because I went into anaphylactic shock. The doctor said his best guess was a bee sting from handling fruit. But we don’t really know.

Cried while watching a movie.

Sure, all the time.

Gotten gum stuck in my hair.

I don’t think so.

Fallen asleep in the sun and gotten burned.

Yep. But not recently ~ I avoid bright sun because it’s a migraine trigger.

Over-plucked my eyebrows.

So way, as a silly teenager.

Been in a haunted house.

Only pretend ones.

Fallen asleep during sex.

I don’t remember.

Wore a whipped cream bikini.

No way.

Been to an “adult store”.

So way. The first time was funny. I went with a girlfriend who was too scared to go in, but I was fearless back then. I went in alone. This was in Wisconsin, I think, and I was 18. But once I was inside I lost my nerve a bit, so I just grabbed two paperback books and bought them. They were dumb, of course.

Felt the presence of “paranormal activity”.

I thought it could have been, but I don’t believe in that, so it wasn’t. It makes for good stories and poetry though.

Asked someone when they were due when they weren’t pregnant.

No way. Never. I avoid commenting on people’s body sizes and looks generally except to give bland compliments.

Seen a sex therapist.

Not as a patient, but I had a date with a man who thought he was one. Lolololol. Yes, another one of my wonderful dating experiences. 🤮

Burst out laughing at a really inappropriate time.

Often have the urge but can usually stifle it.

Called someone the wrong name.

I’m sure I have, but I am pretty good with names.

Walked in on a stranger who was butt naked.

In gym locker rooms, yep.

Said you were minutes away when you haven’t even left the house yet.

No. And it’s sofa king irritating how many Californians say everything is 20 minutes from wherever they are when LITERALLY NOTHING IS 20 MINUTES FROM ANYWHERE!!!!! Gahhh why do I even live here???

Fun questions. 🙄

Sorry Sorry Sorry!

I’m tired of useless, BS apologies. Haven’t we heard enough of them already? All these phony baloney pretensions of being contrite when everyone knows that the only thing the [celeb, politician, spouse, etc.] is sorry about is the fact that they got caught doing whatever thing. 🙄

I expect that in the coming weeks we’ll be treated to a parade of sorries from the criminals caught up in the college cheating scandal. You know they’re unrepentant. You know they haven’t suddenly found a moral compass. They’re just sorry they got caught.

I would love to see real justice served up to these uber wealthy who believe they can sail through life flinging money at every obstacle until it disappears, but I’ve been told that is unlikely. Money is power after all. These superrich celebs know another scandal will be along soon, and theirs will thaw in the public mind until it melts from view.

It was a relief to read that Faux News creep announcing how he refused to apologize for his nasty comments about women and girls. He knows he’s a jerk. He knows we know ~ and he doesn’t give a crap. No one has to pretend to accept his fake apology because he isn’t giving one. Win win!

On the other hand, when someone is forced to apologize for saying something nasty or doing a bad, and you know they don’t mean it, our cultural norms dictate that you give them a second chance even when you know in your heart they’re insincere. That’s really annoying. 😡

Then what happens? All too predictably, they go and do the same thing again. We’ve all seen it, haven’t we? Both in our personal lives and with public figures. I used to buy into the second chance garbage, especially with romance ~ I can’t tell you how many plots are built around the concept of the “second chance romance,” and it seeps into your mindset that you should be forgiving. Well, that’s crapadoo.

We should be more judgmental is what. If your instincts say someone is a lying jerk, and they’ve hurt you once, then why accept an apology? Why give a second chance? Eff all that. Pffft. 😛

Yeah, if time has passed and someone has demonstrably changed their behavior, that’s a different thing. Then their apology isn’t just a giant bowl of moldy word salad.

*

Speaking of misogyny. This is in no way a defense of the Faux News creep, but we are sure weird about bodies, especially female ones. I mean, we have “pageants” where women (or girls even, gah) are supposed to glorify their physical looks in bikinis and glittery gowns, with loads of makeup on their faces and their hair styled all sexy, etc., but men are not supposed to be attracted to them, and if they are, they must not express their attraction in any sort of inappropriate language. What is the right way for a man to say that Miss Maine is appealing to him without sounding degrading or demeaning? “Gosh, I would love to discuss poetry with her over a nice cup of tea?” 🌹

There are men who haven’t been present at teen beauty pageants, ever. I would wager most men have not. So, we don’t know what most adult men would say to their friends about these girls. Maybe adult men shouldn’t be at these pageants. Maybe we shouldn’t have contests where teen girls are judged by adult men on how they look in bikinis. Just some thought noodles…

*

WordPress apparently did not want to be left out of the #failloop of Gmail and Facebook, which both went kerflooey this week, Gmail on Tuesday and FB yesterday. (I only know about FB from everyone’s moaning ~ happily, I do not have any FB products myself.) So, last night I was yet again treated to a 12+ hour gap in posts in my newsfeed. If you’re wondering why you’re missing my hearts and cheery comments, this is the reason. 😢

I did search for the prompts however, and to my delight lots of them could be applied (with a wrench) to this very post I had saved in drafts, hurrah! Of course, I needed to write a zillion more words, but when does that stop me? (Hint: never.) I hope everyone has read to the bitter end looking for the prize!

Erm, there isn’t one.

So very sincerely sorry that you read all these words for nothing. 😂😂😂

~*~

Opposites Attract: Challenge 9

Opposites Attract: Challenge 11

[yes, I skipped 10 ~ even my wrench could not make it fit]

FPQ18: A-hole Artists

This week’s provocative question was spurred by the recent headlines about R. Kelly and Michael Jackson. A Lifetime docuseries, “Surviving R. Kelly,” along with Kelly’s bizarre interview with Gayle King of CBS News, has sparked renewed interest in allegations of sexual abuse, manipulation, and inappropriate encounters with girls and young women. And HBO’s documentary about Michael Jackson, “Leaving Neverland,” which focuses on his alleged sexual abuses of young boys, has also put his inappropriate sexual proclivities under the spotlight.

As a result of the highly inappropriate behavior of these two artists, many radio stations have ceased playing their recordings and people are removing their songs from their personal playlists.

So, my question this week is about whether or not you think it’s possible to separate the art from the artist.

“When you learn about highly regarded artists being accused of inappropriate sexual behavior, especially with minors, can you separate the artists from their art, or would you refuse to listen to, watch, or read the artists’ works?”

Great question! First, I want to say that I am not convinced of MJ’s guilt by the conflicting testimony of people motivated by profit, especially given the fact that he’s no longer around to defend himself. But that’s a side issue to the question. My basic answer is that I do not separate the art from the artist. But in reality I am a bit more nuanced.

For example, I am disgusted with Woody Allen, from what I’ve read about him. He may not be a criminal, but he’s icky. And I don’t want to financially support that, no matter how “great” an artist he may be. So, I would not spend money on him. But if someone else had one of his films that I know I like (I only enjoy the ones where he isn’t a main character), I might re-watch.

Another example is Mel Gibson. He doesn’t fall into the above categories; he’s merely an anti-semite. Yes, I know he “apologized.” I think very little of apologies, especially from men after they’ve been caught doing something wrong. It’s easy for me not to spend money on any MG film, since I never liked him in the first place. The rest of you can wrestle with your consciences.

But what about the musical artists Fandango mentioned specifically? Okay. I don’t listen to R. Kelly, so he’s irrelevant to me. I do listen to old MJ songs sometimes, though I’m not a superfan. I will continue listening to them. I don’t see the big deal ~ he’s dead. I’m not enriching him.

What we need here is an example of a live artist I liked, who totally disappointed me, in order to discover what I would do. Luckily, we have such an example: Sean Penn. I loved him in several movies, such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Carlito’s Way. Then he became a traitor, so I quit liking him, and I will never see another one of his films.

NB: I don’t really want to debate the traitor thing. I respect that people have other views. This isn’t Facebook and I don’t intend to host a flamewar. I have no problem deleting nasty comments. Thanks for understanding. 🙂