Tag Archives: psychology

FPQ24: Fear of Failure

Fandango provocatively asks…

β€œHave you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all? What’s one thing would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

Yes, many times. But I don’t consider this some sort of character defect ~ I consider it a rational decision.

Let’s take the dating scene. I’ve decided to stop looking for love because I’m afraid of another heartbreak, not to mention how annoying and time-consuming the process is to begin with. This is a logical choice, given my experiences since 2009 when my ex-husband left.

There are other examples throughout my life where I’ve made safe choices over more “interesting” ones because of the fear of failure. But in my mind, I’m making a good decision based on risk analysis. The reason fear of failure even comes up is because the more exciting choices are riskier.

I choose the road that has been taken, along with a GPS phone, extra water, snacks, and a jacket. I’ll leave the wild, overgrown path for an intrepid explorer.

PS: The one thing I would do if I knew I could not fail? Spend all my time and resources writing The Great American Novel.

One-Liner Wednesday

I’ve been neglecting my reading. May has been a zero-book month. How sad. I’ve been super busy with projects outside of work, including my own writing, and I’ve simply been exhausted at night. I need to make reading a priority again. Writers should read more than blogs and twitter. I miss books!

The great thing is that they’re all still there waiting for me.πŸ“šβœ¨

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

The Eagles Nailed It

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said, ‘we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

“Hotel California” ~ 1976

~*~

The Daily Spur

Music & Movies

My cat hates YouTube. Whenever I search for a song for one of the music prompts he gets so mad. I try to be considerate of him, but sometimes I just have to play a snippet!


He judges me.

The other day, when I was in the middle of a series of weather-related migraines, I replied to a question about music by saying I could easily give it up. I was thinking that I mostly only listen to music in the car these days, and while that’s pleasant, it isn’t a necessity. I don’t usually play music at home because I’m writing there, and I like to write in silence.

But when my head was better I felt guilty about my answer because I enjoyed a whole bunch of tunes on Saturday. At game night, my friend had on an oldies station and all my favorites kept playing. It was incredible to listen to these great tunes from the 60s and 70s, some of which I hadn’t heard in years.

Also, I had forgotten about movies! I love movies, and music adds so much to a film. In fact, some of my favorite films are musicals! Here are some of my favorite songs from my favorite musicals:

Chicago (so hard to choose!)

Walk The Line (again, every song is so good)

Hair (watched this a million times!)

The Sound of Music (love this song, made even more poignant by the fact that he becomes a Nazi and betrays the family)

Fiddler on the Roof (I get more out of this every time I watch)

My Fair Lady (sexist, but still enjoyable)

Grease (so much fun!)

Mamma Mia (this is from the sequel, which was hilarious and sad)

Cabaret (scary but great)

The Lion King (best Disney film imo)

~*~

THW Movies

THW Music

3-2-1 Quote Me: Expression

1. Rory tagged me to post two quotes about expression. Thanks Rory!

2A. Cat expresses self:

2B (or not). Regarding art/writing:

3. Now I tag:

A. J-Dubs

B. Salted Caramel

C. Kristian

Prompts Gone Mad!

These are just for today!

My God.

And every one of them is great, of course. I want to do them all. I realize they don’t all have to be done today, but my own “rain” inspirational thingie is already 4 days old and goes well with blustery fog during the fervent breakup over the kitchen remodel, or whatever.

Ack. Wasting time! Off to search my photos for a colorful square circle…

Laura’s Music Challenge 14

Hey hey! It’s time to join in and post some tunes for Laura’s Music Monday! πŸŽΆπŸ’•πŸ™‚

1. Post a video of a song by a woman or a band led by a woman that youconsider to be a trailblazer in the music industry.

2. Post a video of a song by an all female band.

3. Post a video of a song by a woman that is about strength or finding your fight.

Why I Write…

The answer to this question varies with my mood. Some days I have a story to share that I think people will enjoy. Other times I simply need to express myself and words are my best tool for that. There are times I feel like being clever with language. Other days I have this ridiculous notion I’ve come up with something important to convey. Once I answered this question by talking about how writing fiction and poetry is the best way for me to organize my scattered thoughts and make some kind of sense of this messy world too.

I was thinking about all this a little while ago when I re-downloaded my drafts of Attractive Nuisance and Sweet Nothings from the cloud. The other day I’d told a friend I hadn’t been working on a novel lately, only flash fiction and poetry, because I can’t focus for more than a few minutes at a time. But ever since yesterday, when I impulsively replied to Jim’s post about a song, by jabbering on about an old pile of writing, I’ve been energized about working on this layered tale again.

Thing is, I don’t think it’s coincidence that this happened at the end of a week when I’m feeling especially frustrated at other people’s behavior. I’ve never been good at seeing patterns in the actions of real characters unless they’re completely obvious. I’m much better with fiction. And, of course, writing my own gives me a feeling of control I get nowhere else ~ I create a new world, populate it with my creations, and make them do what I want.

Just noodling. Back to work! πŸ˜€

Gloomily Yours

Sadly, I haven’t been very creative this week. Every time a prompt appears in my feed, I diligently save it in my folder with the intention to write something later. But night after night, later has faded into sleep. Also, I’ve been stressed about some stuff, but I gently remind myself… it’s not that important. Family (including Mr. Gatsby), health, work: those are hugely important. Everything else? Less so. Much less. The news can get me feeling hopeless about the future too, but I at least I only read it and don’t watch it obsessively on TV like many do. That would drive me more nuts. Doubly depressing this week was the weather, turning cold and rainy again, triggering a bunch of migraines. Or one long migraine rather, broken up with meds. Hopefully I’ll get back on schedule soon and be able to tackle the items on my writing to-to list. 😐

The Mighty Quinn

Jim writes about this song today and gives various ideas on what it might be about. An ex told me it was about a drug dealer. That makes sense. I nicknamed a character in a book “the Eskimo” because of that, and yes he was a drug dealer. I didn’t write much about the drugs themselves, since I don’t know anything and research is boring; instead I wrote about two guys having a long funny convo in the drug dealer’s house about which women they’d rather bang, such as Ginger or Mary Ann, etc. My story got way off-track because I began to enjoy writing these conversations more than the lurve scenes between the actual main characters, and I struggled with giving the protagonists enough screen time, so to speak. For some reason, this book isn’t even up for sale in my glob of books. That must be because I couldn’t decide which version to self-publish. Let’s take a vote.

1. The long one with all the off-track scenes left in that don’t even have much to do with the lurve story at all and make the book way too long for a romance novel but are funny?

2. The semi-cleaned up one that is less funny but more focused on the actual lurve story?

3. The super cleaned up version?

Then vote:

A. Prologue, which Elmore Leonard hates, but adds texture.

B. No prologue.

Title:

i. Attractive Nuisance (relevant legal term).

ii. Sweet Nothings (name of her lingerie store).

Thanks for your help!

P.S. Please remember that I still can’t read minds and you actually have to tell me in the comments what you want! πŸ˜€