Tag Archives: psychology

Four Go RAWR

Shamrock

Welcome to The Daily Four!

Today’s Questions to the Readers are….

What are you truly passionate about?

Everything, just like everyone else! I go into raptures of ecstasy while tying my shoes! The smell of copy paper transports me into a cloud of bliss! When I see an ant on the sidewalk I’m thrilled anew at the wonder of all creation! 🙄🙄🙄

Have you ever experienced or suffered from writer’s block?

🤣🤣🤣

Are you happy?

No! Wtf? Have you read the news? Only the most oblivious, self-absorbed idiot could be happy right now, or ever really, considering all the suffering in this world. No offense to the mindless, of course. Do your thing.

Do you ever experience stress?

These questions are stressing me out!

Angry flames

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Bonfire-ku

Bonfire

As winter whispers,
I contemplate the missing
And dreams left undone.

Never felt native
To this atmosphere of one…
Fire-starting alone.

Hopes in golden sun
That once seemed fundamental
Are tossed on the pyre.

Moon watches coldly
As flames turn night into day;
The sea is dark glass.

Everything is ash
Hearts duplicated in grey–
For I have come home.

~*~

Written for Thursday Inspiration 21

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve!

The Monday Peeve

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

Speaking of that. This is so unbelievable that everyone will think I’m lying, but I swear to you it’s true. I finished my work around 4PM today (Sunday) and began this TMP post, which I shall schedule for 4AM tomorrow, and I thought hey why not watch a movie cuz I haven’t done that in a while. But I can’t because there is blasting mariachi music outside my apartment. I mean BLASTING! I have no idea where it’s coming from because I can’t see a band, but it sounds like it’s right under my window (it’s not). I shut the windows, even though it’s hot AF, because otherwise I’ll go out of my mind. It’s going on and on. Not that the music is bad, but you know… it all sounds the same (no offense okay, but it does) and it’s so loud! Why is this happening? Idk! This wasn’t even going to be my peeve. I guess it’s someone’s birthday ~ the guy just said “Happy Birthday, Becky.”

BECKY? Whatever. Why must we all be subjected to this? How long will it go on? Are we all going to get cake too? I don’t know the answers to these questions! But I am so very annoyed! I finally have free time and now I can’t even watch a movie. Ughhh! Why the hell would anyone think it’s a good idea to have music blasting through an entire neighborhood??? We don’t all want to celebrate with BECKY.

Omg. It’s never going to end…

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Song Lyric Sunday ~ House

Jim Adams keeps the good times rolling with today’s key words and I picked house. My song is “In the House of Stone and Light” by Martin Page. This is a spiritual song, written in 1994, and makes reference to both Mt. Kailash in Tibet and the Grand Canyon, places that have had sacred meaning for some people. Page uses the tribal names for these sites. While I am not a spiritual person generally, I have always found this song very beautiful and soothing to listen to.

O Mount Kailas, uncover me;
come my restoration, wash my body clean
I’ve been walking along a crooked path
where the walls have fallen and broken me in half
I’m telling you, I will not rest till I lay down my head
I’m gonna go in the house of stone and light
I shall not cry for the blind man I leave behind
when I go in the house of stone and light,
in the house of stone and light
Holy Lady, show me my soul;
tell me of that place where I must surely go
Old man waiting at the gates for me,
give me the wisdom, give me the key
I’m telling you, I will not rest till I lay down my head
In the house of stone and light
I’ll make my way, O gonna be such a beautiful day
In the house of stone and light
In the house of stone and light
Let me in beneath my skin,
yeah, yeah, oh oh
In the house of stone and light
It’s been to long, my spirit’s been at war
Havasupai Shaman, let me be reborn
And I will embrace the sun upon my face,
come the day I awake the child inside
in the house of stone and light
And when I go I will op op open my eyes
in the house of stone and light
I will see you in the house of stone and light
[…]

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Delicate

Weekend writing prompt

I tried to work with the delicate
Fabric and handle it gently with extra
Tender thoughtful care, paying so much
Attention to every nuance of stitching
And pulling and catching, but
It was so lacy and fine and slippery
By design that eventually it ripped
Apart between my fingers, ravels
Of threads lingering for a moment
Softly on my skin before sliding
Away never to be seen again.
Sometimes I miss the remnants
Of that time when a gossamer
Material was mine to admire,
But I suppose I would do better
With a hardier substance that
Doesn’t fall to shreds in the slightest
Breeze of discontent. 🙄

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Monday Monday

Why the heck am I posting about Monday on a Saturday, you ask? Okay, possibly it’s Sunday off in New Zealand or wherever, idk. But the point is we should be soaking up every delicious morsel of weekend fun without worrying about Monday ookies.

Shrug

However!

There’s an exception to every rule. Well, maybe not to the rule that says there’s an exception to every rule because then that would mean there’d be no exception to… huh? Let me untangle my brain. K.

THE POINT IS… I forgot what the point is. Oh yeah. I’m going to start a new prompt on Monday! Wahooooo! It’s actually an old prompt called The Monday Peeve that I used to have on an old blog. People liked it, many people… 😂. Now that Di has stepped up to do the 3TC, I have only my Thursday Inspiration, so I’m free for another weekly prompt. This one is fun!

However2! This prompt probably won’t be for everyone, and that’s okay. Some of you like to stick with the uplifting, cheerful, positive posts, which I understand. TMP is gonna be about venting ~ some of us need that sometimes. I know I do! I’ll start with a theme, and those who wish to participate can stay with my theme or post about whatever peeve is on their mind, since there’s nothing more annoying than someone telling you what to vent about when you’re in the mood to vent!

Angry fire burning

However3! I do reserve the right not to accept linkbacks to any posts I find personally offensive, which could be any damn thing. You never know. But you should know. You know? Just be a normal decent human being ~ is that too much to ask?

Silly carefree unicorn

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.❤️🧁💙

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Four on Friday

Shamrock

From Rory’s Question Fun Directory!

1. Have you ever been afraid of the dark?

Yes, at various times. From age 11, when I comprehended my own death and nothingness, I spent a year or so utterly terrified and unable to sleep. I tried to talk to my parents, but they didn’t understand. Eventually, the thoughts just settled within me and I went on, but occasionally they surge up. When my ex moved out in 2009, I became afraid again and had to sleep with the TV on for a while. Sometimes now I have to keep a light on, just randomly.

2. Have you ever been arrested?

No.

3. What were your first thoughts this morning when you awoke?

My back hurts. It’s still so dark. Winter is coming. What horribleness is in the news? Did anyone like my twitter poem from last night? (Yes!)

4. If you could have witnessed anything around the world in whatever time zone, what would you have loved to have seen first hand?

All of the world without people on it yet.

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

PFF15: Elevator Pitch

Time

Welcome to my Friday Flashback! This post originally appeared here on September 13, 2012, exactly seven years ago. I have not seen bicycle man since.

My Kind of Peeps

So this morning I was waiting for the elevator in my office building lobby. I had a big fucking headache, which is not unusual, especially lately because the weather keeps changing like a girl who can’t make up her mind which dress she wants to wear for prom.

There was a guy waiting for the elevator, too. He had a bicycle. Why? Idk. It was clear that he intended to take this bicycle onto the elevator, which was slightly disturbing.

There were two women waiting. They did not look happy. Why should they? We were all going to work.

The elevator arrived with a ding. And also an idiot. Some smiling doofus with a tie bounced off and held the door. “Good morning!” he chirped at Bike Guy.

Bike Guy grunted and wheeled his bike on. The women got on/in. I got in.

Tie Doofus still held the door. “No one’s smiling!” he admonished cheerfully.

One of the women smiled at him.

(It wasn’t me, obviously.)

“That’s better!” he twittered and released his hold on the door.

As the elevator began rising, Bike Guy said, “I hate to dismiss someone’s kindness, but….”

“That guy was really annoying,” one of the women finished.

“Yeah,” said the other one.

I said nothing. I don’t like to talk to strangers on elevators.

But I felt a vague glow of connectedness with these peeps, which is about as good as it gets for me at 9AM on a Thursday in Irvine.

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

People Are Like Cookies

Chocolate chip cookies

Beckie @ Beckie’s Mental Mess has a wonderful continuing series on various mental/emotional issues, and this week her focus is on introversion, a topic I apparently suggested (not that I have any memory of doing so). Soon, she’ll tackle amnesia, I hope! 😂

I’m going to answer the prompt questions that Beckie posted.

1. Are you more Isolated or Introverted?

I’m an introvert. I prefer to be alone or in small groups of close friends/family where we can have meaningful conversation. I also enjoy lots of online interaction. But I’m not isolated ~ most days I interact a little with actual people face to face and that’s fine.

2. Do you feel that there is a difference between the two?

Absolutely. You can be an introvert in the middle of a city, preferring not to talk to others while surrounded by people; while another person might be isolated due to circumstances, but not be introverted and love big parties.

3. What are the causes of being Isolated or Introverted?

Isolated can be by choice or circumstances. Introversion/extroversion traits are hardwired. I have always been exactly how I am.

4. Does your family/friends/co-workers question your behavior when you crave alone time and/or do not want to be bothered?

They don’t generally get fussed about my need for alone time. Some people have a bit of trouble understanding why I don’t wish to attend massive gatherings. A dozen or so people in a room is about the extent of my comfort level. More than that increases the noise to a point where the sound is just a wall crushing my head. There’s no way to have a real conversation either and I can’t stand nodding and smiling at BS.

I’m not talking about big open spaces like fairs or even restaurants that are designed for a lot of people. I’m talking about large social events where people are mashed together in rooms to be with each other. I just hate that. Why would I choose to go to such a thing when I could stay home with my boo kitty?🐱

5. Have you spoken to a therapist/psychiatrist in regards to being Isolated/Introverted?

No. Why would I? I’m fine!

6. What is a normal day being in your shoes?

I commute to work alone in my car to a small office where there is a moderate amount of talking, depending on the day and what needs to be done. Some days I’ll have a phone chat with one or both of my daughters for 20 minutes or so. Generally, I don’t socialize much with friends during the workweek. At night, I’ll do extra work, read, blog, etc.

7. If you were ever asked to go to dinner/party, would you go?  If not, what kind of excuses have you made up to get out of going?

Most weekends I do some sort of social thing that includes dinner, usually a potluck, followed by board games. But it’s with a reasonable number of people, like 10, not 100. Sometimes I’ll go to lunch with one friend, or to the movies with a few, or drive up to Los Angeles to hang with my family and whoever else might be at their place. I am not opposed to people! But they do need to be rationed, like cookies. Too many at once and I’ll just barf.🤮

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.