Tag Archives: PoiMe

Aging & Math [PoiMe]

pointless meanderings

Something weird is happening to me as I approach the Big Birthday. I used to laugh off the angst people express about bday numbers… when I turned 40, I didn’t care at all. I looked way younger than my age, felt great, and wasn’t fussed a bit.

But then 50 came around. My big deal about turning 50, or so I told myself, wasn’t the number or how I looked (still okay), but how 50 would be perceived by Other People, namely men. At 50, I was still on dating sites and hoping to find my soul mate. It sounds so ridiculous now, but I was. I knew (because they said so) that men in my age range often cut off their search for women in the upper 40s. Even 60 year old men preferred women in their 40s.

I got extremely sick over the weekend of my 50th birthday. I thought it was because I had some ice cream with liquor that Friday night, but it was only an ounce or so and doesn’t explain throwing up for 24 hours. My daughters were taking care of me and were certain the 2-day sickness was a psychological reaction to turning 50. Nah, I said, that’s silly.

But over time I realized they were correct.

Even before I became a grandma, I began to feel old. Besides receiving dramatically less attention on dating sites, I felt achy and tired, increasingly so, and knew I was rapidly looking older. A few years later, I gave up dating completely, figuring that was the end of worrying about age.

Wrong.

I still think about it ~ a lot. Not because of my failure to find a soul mate but because of the whole retirement and death thing looming. While many people live into their 90s now, lots don’t. My parents didn’t. It’s not unreasonable to believe I may have less than 20 years of natural life left (assuming I don’t die much sooner in a dumb accident). That’s pretty daunting.

The mind works in strange ways. Mine keeps screwing up age-related math. I keep forgetting how long ago the 1980s were. It doesn’t seem right. The other day I posted that 1971 was 40 years ago. Today on FB, I couldn’t do the simplest math to find the number one song on my 21st birthday.

It’s really weird. When I’m not actively stressed about aging, I seem to be floating in a bubble of denial. I think I’m actually pretty upset about my birthday, which I’ve been thinking about a lot more than I want to. Might as well admit it. I do feel old. My body hurts all the time and I no longer look younger than my age.

Hopefully after the day passes I’ll be able to shrug off the number. Not looking for compliments, only mutual commiseration from other oldies.

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

BONUS B*TCHING #PoiMe

pointless meanderings

Idk what the hell happened, but I had to delete my Song Lyric Sunday post just now, plus about a dozen past SLS posts. Somehow, I messed up my reusable block when I created next Sunday’s SLS post tonight and it affected many posts. WP wouldn’t let me edit today’s SLS post, remove the block, save new text… NOTHING. But next week’s scheduled post previews correctly, which makes no sense. I didn’t hate the blocks at first, but now I’m fully on the block-hate bandwagon. I also hate that everything about WP now is geared to marketing and money-making rather than writing. I wonder how long actual bloggers will stay here given what a pain in the butt blogging is. BTW, I hate blogger too.

I just paid the $48 to renew WP, lol. Figures as soon as I do, I end up in a rage at the whole site. Even more annoying, I already wrote my Monday peeve and don’t want to substitute this for it, but I need to rant now, so I can’t make this next Monday’s peeve. ARGH!

Speaking of Sunday night rants, let’s talk about Medium, which I b*tched about last week. I took the advice offered by several peeps, cancelled my subscription, and faded away. I have 47 posts there and will probably make another $5.00 (same as last month). As soon as I quit “clapping” (liking) other writers’ articles, my claps disappeared, proving that it’s just a bunch of BS, unless you’re one of the very few big fish who gobbles up a huge share of the pot. Even though a subscription is only $5/month, I don’t want to contribute that to the top writers who write about making money on Medium. Geez, what a racket. It wasn’t about making money for me though ~ it was about being read and just having my words OUT THERE in another venue. But since I didn’t perceive the place to be a community of people who CARED what I wrote, I switched to thinking okay maybe I can make some money. Nope. Bleh.

Anyway, thanks to all who responded last week ~ it was helpful. I’m just TIRED of doing things that aren’t fun and don’t generate results. I mean, I WORK a real job full-time, plus more, so I don’t need hobbies that cause me stress. That’s why I quit writing poetry on Twitter a while back and it’s why I’m not interested in writing another novel or poetry compilation to plop on KDP. As I asked last week, what is the effing point?

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

What Is The EFFING Point? #PoiMe

pointless meanderings

I’m super bummed out again. I don’t know why I thought Medium would be a good place for my writing ~ not only am I never going to make money there (beyond pocket change), but there’s almost no camaraderie. There can’t be when you need to read as much as possible, react briefly, and move on… hoping others see you and add you to their following list. I’ll never get as many hits as a tech writer or someone who goes on (and on) about politics or making money or whatever the hell people can’t resist clicking. Barely anyone cares about poetry or fiction or personal essays. It makes me so annoyed I refuse to click on the “trending” articles ~ why is the Medium algorithm helping the popular writers, those who jabber on about tech and money, instead of assisting others in becoming visible? Welp, I’m thinking of canceling my membership ~ why should my $5/month help support someone writing about writing for money instead of engaging in ACTUAL WRITING? Eff that!

And it’s not just me. I see great writing there, really excellent poetry, funny rants, solid flash stories… all with minimal recognition from other readers because the site pushes articles about bitcoin, Trump, or having a colonoscopy (the first three trending stories in my feed today). It’s super discouraging. 😢

Angry Bitmoji

I know we’ve talked a lot about the “hit & run” in Blogland, but the difference is that here I feel like I “know” some people and have valuable interactions with them… Sadje, Fandango, Angie, Melanie, Rory, Di, Barbara, Jim, Ashley, et al, plus the people I knew already from other venues, such as Keera, Roy, and AD. There are more in both groups, so please don’t be upset if I didn’t mention you ~ those are some of the people I saw in my latest notifs. Point is, interacting with these folks makes the “hit & run” bloggers tolerable. I understand that the majority of likes here are from bloggers who don’t know me, won’t ever care about my writing or buy one of my books, and only pay attention to me (for the nanosecond they do) in hopes I’ll follow them down a link-strewn path to some garbage video where I’ll be assaulted with ads. However! The small community of kind and fun folks who continually interact make WP a happy place to hang out.

Happy Bitmoji

I have spent so much time writing online for the past 20+ years. Usenet, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, yada, and now Medium. Not to mention that I’ve written actual books! And… nothing. Minimal book sales. Scant interaction on the other sites. Why do I keep wasting my time? I just don’t even know. I really don’t. Maybe I’m just not good enough or funny enough or poetic enough. I AM NOT FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS. Please don’t. It’s actually worse for people to keep saying they like my writing (I know you mean well, so thank you) when the evidence is in that I can’t make it as a fiction or poetry writer, not even as a small side hustle. I do earn money via business writing, but I’m not talking about that now. I’m talking about the writing I love to do. Fiction and poetry. 💖

If I’m only writing for the love of writing, then I’ll do it here on my blog exclusively where I’ve enjoyed writing and interacting all along and where there’s no money to be made in the first place, so I don’t have to obsess over the lack of it flowing my way. It’s not like I’ve neglected my blog or anything, but I’ve spent almost all my other free time the last couple months on Medium, and it’s just depressing to me now. I can’t help but see the parallels to dating. It took me many years to acknowledge that I hate dating sites, dislike meeting new men who are going to judge me as a romantic prospect, and don’t even want a relationship at all under these crummy conditions. Since I’ve quit trying, that area of my life is calm and peaceful because I’ve filled it with more family time, friends, reading, movies, and painting. Why shouldn’t I do the same with the writing venues that are causing me distress? (I’m not dumping Twitter because it’s a good source for info, but I haven’t written poetry there lately.) That includes putting out more books for Amazon Kindle, where they’ll just sit on a virtual shelf growing mold like old banana bread no one wants.

Bitmoji no

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Merry Christmas #PoiMo

pointless meanderings

What a weird year. I can’t complain too much because my work hasn’t suffered, plus most importantly no one in my immediate family/friends circle has caught the thing. And though I miss my daughters a lot, I did get to see them (and my SILs and grands). My last visit with the grands in Los Angeles left a lot to be desired ~ brief, masked, outdoors. But still, I did get to see them, which is more than some can say. I feel for you peeps! I hope you are managing to find some joy in the season despite all the restrictions. 🎄

Tomorrow, which is today, since I’m writing this on Christmas Eve and will schedule it for the morning, my roomie and I will cook/bake some yummies and also do a painting. If mine turns out well, I’ll post it. If it sucks, we’ll forget I ever mentioned it. Gonna be hard to beat my rainbow tree! I’m really looking forward to all that and just having a chill day. Normally, I’d be seeing a movie (or three) in the theater this time of year, but instead I’ll search for something on Prime or whatever. Yesterday I watched Dear Viola, a romcom, and it was pretty cute and not too clichéd. If you like romcoms, I recommend it.

Santa keyboard bitmoji

So, let’s talk about writing. Unlike some, my WordPress experience this year has been relatively GRRRR-free (so far). A few glitches have occurred, but none of the constant annoyances other bloggers have mentioned. (I hope WP straightens that stuff out for you ASAP.) I’m happy with my blog, the app, and the writing community I’m part of here. As I said the other day, my posts have changed a little this year, in that I’m trying to avoid being repetitive (so I’m saying it again) and want to present higher-quality fiction and poetry. I plan to continue my two prompts: Tuesday Story and Thursday Inspo. Posts for both have been scheduled through the end of February because I am the Empress of Efficiency and Organization. I hope you will participate in one or both, and if you have been participating ~ thank you! 😍

I have zero plans to begin writing a new novel or poetry collection or to finish up any of my romance novels in progress. Bleh. So out of that mood lately. I do have another novel (actually a collection of longish short stories) that I may work on again at some point. The whole thing is interconnected and complex, so it takes a lot of focus. It is within the realm of possibility that I can gather up the scraps of my wandering attention long enough to concentrate on editing what I have and adding to the collection. We shall see.

As mentioned, I’ve been writing on Medium. It’s an interesting experience. There is a lot of cool stuff there ~ I recently read articles about ants and prime numbers and election integrity, along with a great Christmas short story and a whole bunch of awesome poetry. It’s all so inspiring! Tons of the articles are meta ~ writing about writing, how to make money writing, tips on increasing your page views and follower counts, yada. I’m not too excited about most of that, although a few have been helpful. Mostly, I want to read and write fiction and poetry, as always. I do offer the occasional humorous essay, or at least I believe I’m slightly funny anyway. 😛

Alrighty then. Hope everyone has a good or at least tolerable day.

Bitmoji cat Christmas

FPQ85: Paths Not Taken Yada Yada

pointless meanderings

I thought I’d turn Fandango’s Provocative Question today into a pointless meander. He asks if I’ve ever had to make what turned out to be a life-changing decision and, if so, do I wish I could go back in time and change it, blah blah, what and why. There have been a few…

Generally, I begin with my foolish decision not to go to Northwestern U. I had no idea about “prestigious” colleges back then apart from the obvious Harvard, Yale, etc. I knew it was good I’d gotten accepted, but the gravitas of the decision was foreign to me. I behaved impulsively as a teen and things that went wrong were easily fixed. Everything felt inconsequential at the time. My parents didn’t seem to care, and after an argument with my mom, she decided she didn’t want to pay for NU, so I ended up at the University of Illinois in Champaign. It was a horrible experience, I dropped out, moved back home, and ended up in a series of dead-end, low-paying jobs.

Next, I moved from Chicago to Southern California with my parents at age 22. I’m not sure this was a great decision, though it would have been hard to stay in the city alone given my crappy jobs. But from the minute I stumbled off the plane to right now, I’ve had one giant migraine that never seems to disappear for good. I know I’d probably suffer from them wherever I lived, but it soured the whole experience for me. I remember being bombarded with the dazzling sunshine when we landed and feeling like I was going to pass out from the brightness and the pain.

Finally, I returned to college to finish my degree. But again, doh, I eschewed UCLA for Cal State because the freaking parking was easier. It seemed like an okay decision at the time, but it was yet another folly. Not that I had a bad experience at Northridge ~ I actually loved it all and appreciated my classes and the professors there. But until I had my own children I did not realize the importance of the name of a school. Whatever, at least I finished and that led me to the job I have now, which is good. But I got a late start at a career and retirement savings…

All the while this school/moving stuff was going on, I was also dating. Ugh, what a nightmare. I can’t blame online dating and culture such as it is now for my relationship issues, since I’ve had them all along. I am attracted to the wrong men, and that’s just the common denominator of the whole mess. I regret spending/wasting time with a lot of these guys, but I can’t regret my second marriage because my two wonderful daughters are my prize for sticking with it. I should have ended it sooner however. I definitely regret all the years I thought the marriage could be fixed and floated in limbo, taking no action to help myself move on.

I like to imagine that if I’d been single in my 40s I would have had a great romance and met my life partner, though that’s probably false. I would have simply made stupid dating decisions all that time too. Ugh, thinking about all this is an emotional drain… plus it’s all fantasy. I did what I did and here I am. The only thing to do is to slog on…

AND VOTE BLUE!!!

Image altered from the original at Pixabay.

“Emotions Are Overrated”

pointless meanderings

This is a subheading in Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I totally vibed to this section. He talks about emotions being “feedback mechanisms” that notify us when something is right or wrong for us in our environment. Like eek a snake… fear! Or mmm a cupcake… happy! Those are simple ones obviously, but even the more complex ones are feedback too and it’s less stressful to consider them as such. Oh, I’m feeling anxious, why? And then I can logically go through the things in my environment that are making me feel out of control. Which are all the things, but still. It’s helpful (for me)!

You know where it’s super useful? In dealing with unpleasant stuff online. Look, someone said a mean thing to me and I am feeling all sorts of sad and bad and rage. Instead of immediately acting on that, I think about why I’m feeling those things. Is the comment partly true? Are there things I could do better ~ I’ll work on them! Is the commenter just a trolling jerk trying to get a rise out of peeps? Most of the time this is it and the correct response is to ignore, mute, block, or sometimes simply make a silly joke to defuse the situation. Responding heatedly only encourages more of the same. This is a hard lesson for some people to learn, but my online presence was born in the flames of Usenet, so I usually can step back.

This dovetails with the other way I like to think about emotions ~ the train metaphor. I strive to envision my mental landscape as a serene, calm, beautiful place with lush gardens, fluffy clouds, pretty butterflies, and sparkling lakes. There is also a train track and periodically an “emotion car” comes through. The car could be full of anger or sadness or joy or hope. But whatever it is… it will pass. Sometimes it’s a long-ass train, car after car of yucky emotions, but even so, eventually it goes away. So very important to keep in mind, for me anyway. I realize it’s just a fancier way of restating “this too shall pass,” but that phrase isn’t evocative for me like the train image.

We like to think of the negative emotions as transitory, but as it turns out, the positive ones are too. At least for me. I can’t sustain joy 24/7, nor would I want to. If every hour was filled with balloons and candy cars, that would get dull. Unfortunately, back when I was “dating” (barf), I and the men I dated wanted constant happiness. If we weren’t feeling awesome all the time when we were together, then obviously something was wrong and we should bail. That’s pretty unrealistic. I think our expectations are set by the media though, which says you need to feel continuous joy in a romance or it’s wrong.

The romances and romcoms I grew up with had this trope. No matter what obstacles life put in the way, the “perfect” person for you would vanquish them so that the relationship could be bliss 24 hours a day. But no one has relationships like this. What happens after the happily ever after ending? That, as my friend Don noted on FB, is the interesting story. That is where the story really begins.

“A fixation on happiness inevitably amounts to a never-ending pursuit of ‘something else’ […] And despite all of our sweat and strain, we end up feeling eerily similar to how we started: inadequate.” ~ Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Image originally found on Pixabay.

TSAONGAF 1

pointless meanderings

TSAONGAF is the abbreviation for Mark Manson’s self-help book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I’ve read MM’s articles with some regularity, and last week I read his bestselling book. It was a great experience for me and I learned a lot. As I said earlier, I’m going to blog about some of my thoughts on his various concepts.

What does MM mean by not giving a f*ck? He points out that most of us are wrapped up in caring about so many things that we feel perpetually entitled to a perfect world and freak out when things don’t go how we want. I guess you could say that our giving f*cks too freely has turned us into a bunch of whiny Karens. MM suggests we drill down to our basic values (and change them if they aren’t working for us), and then find the few, important things to focus on. “Let the little things go.” We’ve heard that before, right?

Obsessing over way too many unimportant details has been a huge problem for me my whole life. I can’t simply decide not to and that’s that. “Don’t do that” is a negative statement, and when you focus on a negative, well, you know what happens. “Don’t eat potato chips”… now all you can think about are potato chips. I’ve been trying to substitute the negative statements with positive ones. Focus on work. Pay attention to family. Engage in self-care routines. Get more sleep and exercise. Read more books.

Focusing on these positives has had the effect of pushing some of the trivial crap away. It really does work. I don’t have time (or the inclination) to engage in social media arguments (a huge source of past stress) when I’m in the middle of a good book. If I’m filling my time with pleasurable activities, I’m less inclined to click on a new dating site “just to see.” I know that leads down a bad path. I can step back now. It’s a bit harder in some areas, such as driving ~ I still get enraged when someone does a dangerous maneuver. What does MM say about that?

It’s okay for life to suck sometimes, is what he says. We are not entitled to a perfect life, and there’s no need to feel inadequate when something fails to be perfect. So I had a frustrating drive to Los Angeles. That’s just how it is some days and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me or the way I’m living my life. Sometimes traffic is sucky and frustrating. That’s okay. I literally had this ridiculous conversation in my head the other week. I was so stupid for letting my daughter go to UCB. She had a full ride to UCD and wouldn’t have met her future husband there probably. I’d have more money now and wouldn’t have to make this horrible drive when I want to see her. God, I’m so dumb!

But then I got to her house (a half hour later than expected) and had such a great time with my family. I’m not “dumb” because there was a detour and some other drivers were being rude and awful. It’s okay for things to suck sometimes. I’m not entitled to perfection. It’s hard though to keep that mindset all the time… I’m constantly reminding myself to stay positive and not dwell on small annoyances. Being positive is more of a habit now than it used to be though, so I am improving. Slowly.

Okay, that’s the end of this PoiMo. I’ll do more MM musing another time. 🙂

Image originally found on Pixabay.

Like A Buttered Eel…

pointless meanderings

Get your mind out of the gutter! I’m talking about Monday and how it slip-slid away from me. All day I was thinking about making a post ~ there were some truly great prompt words that went together nicely (depression, zilch, connect, human, etc.). But I needed to do other things first, mainly work, but also laundry, and I’m determined to start carving out time for exercise (I did). I also cooked a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich, then had to clean up the dishes. Naturally, I made time for chatting with my family because that’s important too. Upshot is that I didn’t open up a new post until 11PM. By that time, the prompts had faded into new ones and I lost my motivation to create fiction.

Speaking of, I’ve been working a lot on Ghosted again. I’m very pleased with the progress right now. It’s always been tricky for me to get the crime just right… complex enough to be interesting, but not so ridiculous that no one can follow what’s going on. It is mainly a family drama after all. And a love story, of course. Where would we be without love stories? I’m not sure my pacing is so great, but I really need it to stay how it is. I’ll edit it at least once more though.

I do have a smile for Trent this week and I’ll write that up tomorrow. Maybe I’ll do the SYW for Melanie too. It didn’t really grab me tonight. Sadje has an interesting picture to prompt us… maybe I can do something with that. And I look forward to the FPQ on Wednesday, as always.

I have loads of books ready to read on my Kindle, but I think I’m gonna try to get a few extra ZZZ’s tonight. Catch you tomorrow!

Image originally found at Pixabay.

Unlinked Twitter…

pointless meanderings

You may have noticed, if you pay attention to such things, that my “follower count” just dropped by 1200 or so. No worries! That is not a real number. Those were my tweeters, and I delinked Twitter. Last night I realized that my blog posts get practically no engagement there, so it’s pointless to keep sending my posts over every time one goes live. They just sit there like a smelly old salami no one wants on their sandwich.

My use of Twitter is almost exclusively for poetry prompts and a tiny bit of politics. I like to see what’s trending there so I know the major news of the day right away. It also gives me hot takes on celebs, and I confess that I still like to know what some of them are up to. There are miscellaneous accounts I follow, such as the earthquake bot, which I find useful.

But Twitter and Blogville never integrated in any meaningful way for me, unlike say the way Facebook used to. I may send posts over to FB again, but not all of them. We’ll see. The problem with FB is that people will discuss the post there, not here, so later when I check comments on a post, I won’t see the full convo here on my blog. Annoy!

I blocked someone on Twitter last night for hijacking a post from here (which is what prompted the review of my posts there). People are so rude and thoughtless… and tempers are short now. There is no reason to put up with obnoxious behavior online, none. I see people unfriending others on FB all the time for being jerks, and I get it. If you disagree and can’t be decent about it, go sulk in private or start your own post on the topic. Don’t take over mine!

So far so good regarding my return to FB. I haven’t even been that careful, but I don’t go on and on either. I don’t need to have the last word on other people’s threads. I say what I want to say and get out. I think it’s rude to get into arguments on posts that aren’t your own. I don’t like it when others take over one of my threads for their own ego fest either. Go yell in front of a mirror!

It’s always men… 🙄

~*~

Image originally found at Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Exhausting Week…

pointless meanderings

Nice that the block editor keeps the alt text of previous images unlike the classic editor. I’m always forgetting to add it and Ashley says we should. If we copypasta an entire post, of course, the alt text is kept, but (1) I haven’t found the copy button yet on Blocky, and (2) sometimes that’s annoying anyway because you have to delete so much. Ideally, my saved pieces will have All The Things.

This is my first post today (Friday, June 5)… though I realize for some of you it’s already Saturday and you’re onto the Stream of Con thingie. I’ll do that next if I don’t collapse here at the table as I do sometimes. Fan. Fan fan fan. Lots of ways to go there. Again, I failed to do the flashback… maybe that won’t be a regular feechur here any longer, idk. I’m pretty bored with it, plus I like to write new things. I did do a brief search yesterday, but only one year came up and I didn’t like anything. Remember that, even though this blog is a decade old, there were times I didn’t post much and other times I went through and hosed vast amounts of jabber off the sidewalk. That was because (1) I like getting rid of old, negative vibes, and (2) I kept restarting the dating stupidity and thought men might go back and read it and get the (correct) idea that I’m a big crab. I should have been searching for a lobster, or someone relatively crunchy.

I’ve been posting more from my laptop instead of my phone. That’s because my hand hurts. Idk if it’s arthritis or what. It seems like it probably is. In any case, normal typing on a keyboard is much more comfortable for my hand than poking at the phone buttons. That’s why, if anyone wondered, I’ve been using fewer emoticons… sometimes I save a post and then open it on my phone and “decorate” it before publishing, but not always. I told my doctor about my hand on our tele-visit and asked if it was okay to use ICYHOT. He said sure but it didn’t do anything except excite my nerves to distract me from the pain for a bit. Ever since then, the ICYHOT has lost its appeal, lol. Which is great because I have a multipack of the stuff from Amazon that I ordered to get a great bargain. [insert eyeroll]

I had trouble sleeping this week. All the chaos in the streets/media just got to me (again). Worry for myself, my work, my family, their work, health, safety, finances, all of it, circles and ripples and spirals of worry. I haven’t been able to fall asleep for real until way after midnight (sometimes I have a crash nap for a few minutes here & there)… sometimes not until 2AM. And I don’t sleep that much later to make up for it… I am usually awake by 6:30 at the latest, though I will try to doze off and on for another hour, if I can. I get up tired, which I hate, and muddle through the day, sometimes finding energy in the afternoon, depending on the day. It’s just an exhausting cycle. I’m hoping to get it under control this weekend with some good self-care.

Needless to say, I’ve had to focus what little mental sharpness I’ve had on work and there was nothing left for my writing projects. That’s just how it is and I refuse to beat myself up over it. I didn’t go outside and exercise, even though things are opening up, because of the protests and random weird stuff going on. I absolutely do not want to get involved in anything. That’s just how I am, and if anyone has a problem with it, please go rant on your own blog about the joys of activism. I’m in chronic pain and can’t fix the world, sorry. Marching/yelling/being in a glob of people would certainly give me migraines and back pain for days. I was glad to see that the protests in Orange County, California stayed peaceful and purposeful however. That didn’t interest the major news media, since they only want to show violence to get more shares and clicks.

Facebook is a drag. I was happy to return during the pandemic to reconnect with peeps… it was wonderful to be so warmly welcomed back. I totally dug that. It was easy enough to steer clear of most of the ranting politics and instead chat with peeps about their pets and recipes and what-all, but then along came this latest round of screaming. Peeps are diligently reposting links and memes and lecturing everyone else on the exact way to say things and do things and yada yada boo. I do feel proud that I received a “bless your heart” from a Texas conservative. I must be doing something right, eh? Mostly though I tiptoe around now because I don’t need someone to messily explode at me for not wording my feels in the prescribed manner. I hesitate to post anything myself in fear of starting a massive war of words in my comments, since I have friends from all over the political spectrum. Meh.

Twitter is nuts. I keep losing followers, though I don’t say a damn thing. How could I offend anyone? Maybe they die, idk. Yesterday I complained about my sinking stats and a few returned. Who even knows what is up with that place. I shouldn’t care about the numbers, and I wouldn’t except they’re right on the splash page of your profile. At least here on WP, I have to click somewhere to look at my pathetic stats. Yes, I know they are bad because I did look. Pffft. Don’t care. WHY don’t I care about my WP stats, when I’m writing here, but I care about my number of Twitter followers, when I barely tweet? There is a mystery…

Okay, this is long. I should go make some tea and write the fan thing now.

Image originally found on Pixabay.