Tag Archives: #PoiMe

I Think It’s Tuesday #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

Warning: this is not gonna be one of those smell the flowers in the pandemic posts, but there are plenty of those around, so if you would rather read something cheery, move along now.

I’ve been doing my side work from home as usual but not my main work. It would be complicated to set up. The days blend in a haze of sleeping late, sweatpants, coffee, news, news, and more news. 😢

It’s depressing to live this way and never see any of my favorite humans. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit my daughter up North again. Or even see my family in Los Angeles. Everything seems terrifying. But I’ve been staying indoors mostly and not even going for walks. I don’t like getting the mail because I never know if someone will stand too close. Today was okay. No one was at the mailboxes when I was.

The worst thing is reading these constant bits of news and feeling more horrified. But I need to know what’s happening! I live near a busy street and traffic never stops whooshing by… where are they all going? Why aren’t they staying home like they’re supposed to? Aren’t they hearing the same stuff I am? 😡

I’ve been cleaning a lot. I have nothing else to do but keep checking the mishmash of news. I read a book. Probably will read another. Been chatting with friends. I was gonna bake banana bread, but no one else is around to help me eat it, so I didn’t. No need to turn into a chubby hermit. Got bored with the phone games. I’m finally working on Ghosted. 👻 Luckily, I really like it.

I am grumpy and sad. I don’t find the beauty in this. Maybe if I had a partner? Then we could be having luscious sex and engaging in wonderful deep conversations and playing chess and watching lovely old movies and making lasagna and planning our escape from this mad mad world, but instead I just keep checking the cat boxes to make sure no poop needs to be removed.

It’s not that I mind being alone. I like to be alone. It’s the forced aspect of it. And it’s the constant uncertainty in every direction. Health, family, finances, job, future. What’s going to happen? Even if things tentatively begin to improve, will we be re-whomped with this, or a new version, next winter?

Sorry, I can’t put up some Hallmark card type of post. This really sucks. 🙁

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Whatever…

Pointless meandering

I guess I haven’t posted anything today. What’s left to say? I was looking forward to the FPQ, but then I saw I would have to listen to a news clip. Ughhh. Like I’m not glued to the news enough already? Too much and yet I can’t stop looking at it like I’m passing a car wreck except it’s the whole world in a wreck and I can’t just pass by because I’m living in it too.

Then I was gonna post for the Color Code Challenge, but I didn’t have anything. I had pics with colors, but no pics with groups of colors. Boo. That would have been a fun post, if it had materialized. 🌈

I thought about Sadje’s pic of the woman on a cliff with the broken god, but eh. Then there was a “glorious” sunrise or something too. Meh. Just not feeling the fiction. Or poetry. The challenge from last week was humor, but I’m too consumed with anxiety to be funny right now.

The weird thing is that I had a relatively good day, very productive. Things ended on a happy note too, and now I have a 4-day weekend. I had planned to go to Vegas with some friends, but obviously that’s not going to happen now. I’ll read, write, exercise, and maybe watch a few movies alone at home. Those are the kinds of things I enjoy, so I’m not upset about Vegas, but I dislike uncertainty. A lot. 🙁

Believe it or not, I watched Contagion last night. It’s a good movie! People wonder why I’d watch that now, but now is a great time to watch it imo. Absolutely stellar cast too. It’s weird to see Bryan Cranston before he played Walter White. (Never watched Malcolm.)

So anyway… I’ll be around. My Thursday Inspiration is coming right up tomorrow morning and I’m working on my April A-Z game posts here and there. It’s a good time to catch up on things.

Stay safe! 💖

~*~

Image originally found on Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Writing Oddities #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

This isn’t a peeve because I don’t care. I’m not even asking for an answer, such as does this do any good? I know exactly how that will go. I’m just… meandering… 🦋

So, there are like 87 kajillion books around online with more coming out every minute of every day. There are “literally” more books than readers now… a real pyramid and soon we’ll all be competing for that one last reader at the tippy top who hasn’t written a book too.

The few writers who are lucky enough to be published by a house with a marketing department can sit back and keep writing per their contracts, but the rest of us have to do our own. I suck at it, barely doing any at all because I hate it so much. Still, I pay attention to what others do, sometimes.

Two things I have noticed lately. One is the “cover reveal.” Usually it’s for a book I had no idea was in gestation in the first place. Oh, great it has a cover! Um, do I care? No. Most of the time I don’t open the post or tweet. I guess this is like a “teaser” for a movie or something to pique our interest so we’ll be all excited to buy the book the second it’s released. Yah okay. 🙄

Problem with that idea is… it’s not a movie backed by gobs of ads. I’ll likely forget the name of the book the instant the post is off my screen. Since this is undeniably true, I have no intention of doing cover reveals for my future books.

Second thing is audience participation. I assume this is to get people “invested” in some way emotionally so they will then be more inclined to invest a few bucks in the finished product. For example, I might say hey peeps, what should the name of my protagonist’s son’s band be in Ghosted:

A. Snake Charmers
B. Viper Invasion
C. Venom Cult
D. Rattlefang 🐍

You guys vote and then you’re all, yeah baby, now I’m part of the process here! And then when I get around to publishing my book later this year (hopefully, since it’s been hanging around since 2018, but that’s not even old compared to some stuff I have sitting there), you’ll be thrilled to buy it. 💰

Or not. This will simply be one more post that disappears from your mind the instant it vanishes from your screen…

Kinda like Ghosted… 👻

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

PFF40: Another Review!

Friday Flashback

Welcome to Paula’s Friday Flashback! This is a challenge begun by Fandango and it’s fun to see what we posted back when (as well as the comments). The post below is a reblog of a post I made exactly 7 years ago. As I said in my #PoiMe, so many of my reblogs are reviews because I hosed most of my old meanders. Oh well, I hope some of you enjoy reviews. 🙂

Safe Haven, Part II

So, I’ve been noodling on this Safe Haven novel by the famous Nicholas Sparks (Part I of my reviewish thingie is here). The entire concept of the book is much like a novel I read a while back called  Running Wild by Linda Howard and Linda Jones (except SH was published first). Makes sense then that I’d do a compare and contrast ~ spoilers will abound, so if you’re planning to read either book and want to be surprised, you should exit now and check out some otters.

1. Basic premise. Heroine runs away from her life to escape Bad Man (abusive husband in SH and crazy stalker date in RW) and ends up in a small town in the middle of nowhere (North Carolina in SH and Wyoming in RW). She takes a job as a waitress.

2. Stolen ID. Heroine steals/fakes a new identity when she starts her life over because Bad Man is a cop who will not only find her if she resurfaces for one second under her old name but also kill her. He will also have immunity, natch, being a cop, or so she believes. She must therefore act secretive and weird, which intrigues the hero.

3. Hero haz problems! In SH, Alex is trying to run his business and take care of his two kids, but the wife/mommy has died ~ oh noes, now what? It is so hard doing all this alone. In RW, Zeke is trying to run his ranch and take care of his aminals and men, but his cook wants to retire ~ oh noes, now what? Should he hire that secretive, sexy new waitress at the diner? Omg, decisions…

4. One slip-up. In SH, all it takes is one kind word from a neighbor to get Bad Man Kevin hot on Katie’s trail (IIRC, this is way similar to Sleeping With The  Enemy). In RW, Zeke’s old cook does an internet search on Carlin, which pings Brad and lets him know that someone in WY is looking for his honey.

Here are some major differences in the novels.

5. The Bad Men. While both Kevin (SH) and Brad (RW) are horrible creeps, Sparks took the time to make Kevin an actual character you can feel some degree of sympathy for here and there. It’s interesting, in an awful way, to take that journey down to NC with him. Brad’s just a cartoon Bad Man.

6. The Good Guys. This is the opposite of the Bad Men. In SH, Alex is bland and boring; while in RW, Zeke is sexy and exciting. Alex is way too nice for a romance novel hero ~ then again, Sparks says his books aren’t RNs, but “love stories.” Gak. Okay.

7. Motivations. Sparks does a good job in laying out his protags’ motivations. Katie needs to escape the abuse; Kevin wants her back ~ and they both love each other (or did at one point) in a sick way. This is all believable. And even Alex’s sweet gentle kindness is believable, though not very sexy. The Lindas didn’t do quite as well in this area. We’re supposed to believe that Brad, a cop, went totally bonkers after a couple dates with Carlin, and began trying to kill her when she turned him down. Now I know guys can be nuts ~ we’ve documented that right here on this blog, but EVEN SO.

8. Sex. Now this is weird. RW is a typical contemporary romance novel in that it contains a good amount of steamy sex between the hero and heroine. SH has none, zero, zilch. Actually SH has no sex between the hero and heroine, but what it does have are abusive sexual encounters (mostly fade to black type) between Katie and Kevin. Don’t you find this odd? Here’s a purported “love story” (not a “romance novel”) where there is no sex between the two main characters during the time of the story, yet there are descriptions of sex between other characters. It’s almost like Sparks is saying that his protags are too pure to be sexual.

Well, whatever. There’s enough room in the world for Sparks’ love stories as well as sizzling hot romances, right? It’s funny though that the Sparks’ books are respected and made into movies while romances are still best hidden away in brown paper bags. I mean, it’s perfectly fine to read Safe Haven out in the open while eating your lunch in the office despite the fact that there is a cute couple on the cover about to kiss, but I wouldn’t bring Running Wild to work with the shirtless cowboy cover since I know what all goes on in there. That’s meant to be read in secret while eating DS Oreos.

/end reblog

~*~

Image from Pexels.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Mini Crush #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

From my last meandering, my thoughts drifted to a brief crush I had… at some point in the last six months or so. I’m being purposely vague because there’s no need for anyone to guess who he might be. 😎

The existence of my crush annoyed me. Not the person but my own thoughts. Oh, yes… this is how it is. All coming back to me. Not fun at all. Was it ever fun? To think about a person in “that way” and wonder if they were thinking about you too, hoping they might be, and suspecting they were not? What a pain it all is, so time-consuming and pointless, but not in a good way like my meanderings… just annoying.

I’m positive my mini crush feelings were not mutual. There were never any signs that he gave any thought to my existence whatsoever. And yet… and yet… for a short time I entertained silly hopes he would. I fantasized about meeting and what that would be like, what I would wear, yada. Could this turn into a real “something”… after all this time, without a dating site involved… would that be possible for me? My fantasies spiraled out in all directions like one of those party sparklers. And… nothing happened.

I became angry with myself. I had so much to do, was so tired, and I was wasting time thinking about this crap! I forced myself to stop. The idea that I even briefly allowed my emotions to get tangled in this “game” made me feel sick; I recalled when I used to get involved with someone how quickly I let my life center around their wants and needs. Wow, that pisses me off to think about! The whole selfish, one-sidedness of dating, which I understand isn’t the same for everyone, but it was for me because of my bad luck or bad choices or whatever.

I’m fine now… but the “crush” experience, brief as it was, gave me a glimpse back through the sad window of Ye Olden Days Cafe. Back then, I was constantly trying to win the approval of some man, catch his eye, hold his attention, make him smile, be what he needed, just enough, but not too much, try to read his mind without acting clingy, on and on… so many many things a woman is supposed to be and do and look to be pleasing to some man who couldn’t care less.

Never again. Never ever ever again.

All those times I fussed and agonized over how I looked to meet some gross slob from a dating site who seemed to have just rolled out of bed and grabbed clothes off the floor? And forgot his wallet, ha ha ha. Not to mention the fact that they were invariably late because… thoughtless and rude. 😡

Nope. Not gonna happen. But this crush took me by surprise because it didn’t happen via a dating site. I haven’t met a man from a site in almost 3 years! But it ended up the same… annoying AF. Not that it had anything to do with the person; the entire thing played out all inside my own head.

I will consider it a warning. ⚠️

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ59: Ain’t Got No Education

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks…

“What does it mean to you in the 21st century to be well educated?”

Woo, what a great question! And I can tell already that I’m not going to come up with a definitive opinion, but instead will meander around in a tangled mass of thinkies.

First, a disclaimer. I’m educated but I don’t believe I’m well educated. Sure, I have a college degree, but so what? I’m in my late 50s and don’t even remember most of the stuff I studied. Plus, there are a kajillion things I didn’t study. I could have spent a portion of time since college broadening my knowledge by immersing myself in online classes, educational shows, and better reading material, but I didn’t. I frittered away my free time on junk food for the brain and continue to do so. 🍫

Second, there’s a big difference in being smart and being well educated. I know a lot of smart people who are great at taking tests (hello!) and rattling off trivial facts, but that’s not the same as having a deep reservoir of knowledge about a broad spectrum of topics. Not every well educated person can perform under pressure like a trained seal. These are different things. I’m in neither camp really ~ I’m not great at trivia nor do I have the reservoir ~ but I often play trivia games anyway.

Third, people can have one valuable skill, such as being a competent engineer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re well educated. Knowing how to do one thing perfectly is fabulous, but I view being well educated as having curiosity about a variety of topics and the will to pursue information on them. 📚

Fourth, I think it’s important to understand technology, if only to protect ourselves from the worst of it. I could do much better in this area, but I’ve been intellectually lazy because for many years I had a husband who knew it all and now I have friends who do. My kids are no slouches either. But knowing only techie stuff does not make a person well educated, just like knowing only the complete history of Hawaii or tons of facts about show biz doesn’t either.

In order to fit my definition, you have to know a lot about a lot and be able to discuss these topics with others in some form. But you also have to be open to the possibility of new information, corrected data, and/or changing your mind. A fragile ego isn’t compatible with a well educated mind, if it closes off the possibility of being wrong. 🥀

When I find someone who seems brilliant and well educated, I watch to see how well they adapt to new information. A truly well educated person understands that there is always room for more knowledge; a closed mind gives away a substandard education. I have called myself “wishy washy” because I am open to new information, change my mind often, and eagerly gobble up the latest news, sometimes to my detriment. Discernment is also a good thing! But I continue to have a strong negative reaction to people who disregard new information only because it’s new.

I also can’t bear those who refuse to admit error or apologize. Well… that’s another post… 😜

~*~

Image credit to Fandango.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Tangled Thoughts #PoiMe

Pointless meandering

One of the things that motivated me to both begin this #PoiMe idea and also quit doing so many prompts was the Flashback Friday. Please bear with me through the tangle of thoughts here…

So, when I look for my FF post I generally find a book or movie review, a Wordless Wednesday, or someone else’s poetry (I was big on quoting back in the day). Why is this the case when my blog is so old? Well, I’ll tell you! It’s because I periodically hosed a ton of posts. Usually I did this because I was once again attempting to find the love of my life on a dating site. I didn’t want new men to visit and read all my bitching about men on dating sites, so I kept erasing my footsteps. Unfortunately, some of those posts were very funny and would have made good FF’s. Too bad. 😔

But the point is, my blog had become a bit sterile and structured. Old boring posts. Huge gaps in posting due to hosing. New posts mainly in response to other people’s prompts. Where was my very own stuff? There didn’t seem to be that much of it, and that bugged me. Yes, a poem or a piece of flash fiction is still “mine” even if I wrote it in reply to a prompt ~ and I’m pleased with some of those results. But to me, my blog should still have a sizable amount of my own jabbering straight from my own mind.

There hasn’t been much in my life that I can call mine without someone else telling me what to do, how to do it, and when. I realize that’s the case for most people, so I’m nobody special. But I do have writing. It’s the one thing. And for a while I was hoping to hand that over to someone else too, in exchange for major coin… in fact, I wanted this so badly I would have done anything… I do mean anything to achieve it. (Almost anything.)

But it didn’t happen. I changed the way I wrote in hopes of pleasing people who might pay me for it, but that didn’t help. I wrote totally different things, but nope. Nothing. Some near-bites and a couple bucks, but… nothing. Finally, I gave up and self-published. The beautiful thing about this path is that there’s no one telling me what to write and how many words, where to break chapters, that my characters are too much this or too little that, et cetera. I do what I want! 😈

Why then should my blog be kneecapped by prompts? It was entirely my own fault that I pressured myself to feel I needed to reply to so many. Whenever I felt like “just writing,” I thought mm can’t cuz I have all those prompts saved to do. Even at this very moment, I can’t escape the teensy dart of guilt for not writing about Fandango’s spaceship and instead blabbering on here.

But dangit I am determined to pointlessly meander now, at random times, when the mood strikes… 🦋

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Pointless Meandering

Pointless meandering

Welcome to my new featured series: Pointless Meandering! Posts in this series will appear… whenever I feel like making them. I know, I know. That goes against all the marketing rules. You’re supposed to brand yourself with consistent posts on set subjects at scheduled times. Well, to that I say… pffft! 😛

I had a lot of trouble thinking of the name for my new feature. Names are important! First, I thought of meaningless babble or jabber. But after a while I didn’t really like “meaningless” because some of my posts could be meaningful, idk. I wouldn’t want to limit myself right from the start. The idea is just to be unstructured, but I didn’t want the word unstructured because it makes me think of bras. Does it make you think of bras? Well, it will now! 😂

Then I latched on to the word “pointless.” I like this word a lot… and it seemed perfect for my feature. Posts that have no point in particular. They aren’t peeves. They aren’t responses to prompts. They don’t tell a story. They aren’t funny or poetic. They just exist, floating in the Sea of Blogovia for no reason whatsoever.

But pointless what? Aye, there was a sticky wicket! Jabber and babble had lost their luster somehow. I gravitated to pointless musings. But I’m never sure how to pronounce muse… is it mewse or mooose? That’s a whole new digression… how I don’t say some words properly. I discarded this and considered pointless overthinking. I almost had it put away… had the logo done and everything. But then I thought, is it really overthinking if it’s cathartic and helps me? Maybe it’s the right amount of thinking… 🧐

Oh, speaking of the picture, which I found at Pixabay (a fab source)… I had my heart set on a butterfly, 🦋 but butterflies don’t engage in pointless behavior. All that flitting and nectar-nomming has a purpose. So, I contemplated a twisty path through the woods, but none of those pics appealed to me. (But that’s when meander began to take hold as the noun.) I thought of drifting, but when I looked up drift I got a bunch of racetrack photos. I tried float and when the jellyfish pics came up, they hit my sweet spot.

I could have used my own jellies, I guess, but I liked these. Anyway, I held onto the meandering idea even though I gave up the path in the woods photo. The jellies really seemed like the right choice. I added the text… first I used green, but I saw I had green on my peeve kitty and didn’t want to become branded as the green text blogger. I changed it to hot pink at that point and am pleased with the outcome.

This was fun. I’ll do it again sometime. 💖

~*~

Image originally found at Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.