Tag Archives: philosophy

12 Bloggerz ~ July

twelve 12 rainbow

Happy long weekend to me! Let’s celebrate with 12 bloggerz from Rory

1. On a scale of 1 – 10 – where 1 is low and 10 is high how happy are you with everything in your life at this moment?

I’m a solid 7, not ecstatic, but definitely a couple notches happier than the middling meh.

2. Why do you do what you do the way that you do it?
Interpret as you so wish.

Because that’s the way I like it (uh huh, uh huh).

3. How do you embrace difference?

I don’t. But I don’t care either, as long as it doesn’t affect me. You do you, boo.

4. What is one of the most significant ways that your readership influences you, your blog and your writing?

I am motivated by the camaraderie surrounding responses to prompts and seeing the different interpretations to both questions and concepts/images.

5. How would you feel if everything you didn’t believe in today turned out to be true – which of your new disbeliefs now truths would affect you the most profoundly? But also answer this question from the opposite spectrum as in –How would you feel if everything you believed in today turned out to be false – would this affect you and if so which falsehood that you hold now true would affect you the most profoundly?

I’m not that attached to my beliefs, so like whatever, man. I think this sets me apart from the mainstream because others seem bound to their belief systems, most of which are separate from their active lives, if that makes sense. FOREX, people argue to the death over political ideas on the internet, which accomplishes absolutely nothing, but they feel it’s sooo important to spill their angry words into the void. I just shrug at most of this vast outpouring of emotional vomit. Some can’t even fathom the possibility that their beliefs could be imperfect. Me? Maybe I am wrong about not believing in God/souls/afterlife… so what? I wouldn’t be able to undo my mistakes in any case, and for the last several years I’ve been trying to be a good/better person, mostly as traditionally defined, though I fall short as do we all. However that all adds up at the end on the big abacus in the sky, so be it. From the other way around, what if my beliefs in true things are all false? That would be worse and affect me more profoundly because my truths are few and deep: I love my children (and grands) and they love me. This is the only belief I have that is “carved in stone.”

6. How often do you cross your fingers or say touch wood or good luck to people or do you not believe in that sort of thing?

I say good luck when it’s appropriate. It doesn’t mean I suddenly believe in the supernatural; it’s just a shorthand of saying hey I care about you and hope you have a happy outcome at your doctor’s appointment or exam or interview or whatever thing.

7. Do you think that our childhoods impact our lives as adults – what are your views?

I think our childhoods (parents, environment, resources, etc.) have profoundly affected each and every one of us, and there is no way to separate the person we are today from what happened to us yesterday.

8. There is no truth to horoscopes – yes or no and why to either?

Of course not, but astrology can still be fun to play with from time to time. I like to use it as an excuse ~ hey, I’m a Taurus, so naturally I prefer to hibernate in my cozy abode than go out anywhere.

9. Does it really matter if we are environmentally-conscious – l mean is it that important – if not why not and if yes, why??

It matters on a large scale, but an individual selfish act probably makes no difference, which is the mindset of most people who could do more, including me. It’s also a luxury of the wealthier to decide that spending more money to be environmentally conscious is a priority (not that they do necessarily), whereas poor people simply have to get by every day and don’t have the resources (financial or otherwise) to deal with this issue. Eventually though, Mother Nature will do as she will to deal with the havoc that humans have caused.

10. Do you find it easy or hard to relax and what relaxes you the most?

It’s pretty easy for me these days. I usually read or play games on my phone until whatever anxiety has passed by.

11. How well or badly do you respond to being ‘shocked’ or ‘surprised’?

Badly, usually. I need plans and routines.

12. How do you feel about the term “I am a lucky/unlucky person” as in – do you think that there is some truth to it or is it all nonsense?

I think there’s some truth in it, but in a way that makes actual, material sense. People who generally think things through and engage in sensible behaviors will tend to have better “luck” than impulsive lunatics. Yes, of course, we all know of “that one guy” who took a ridiculous chance and won, but most will lose. Remember, the house always wins, on average. You can think of the house as Mother Nature or simply mathematical odds. You are probably not that special, sorry (and neither am I).

~*~

Image from Cliparts.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Last June Share

Share your world

So weird to realize that half of 2021 will be over in a few days! Life is sure whizzing by like a roller coaster, and speaking of that, Melanie has some new questions for us…

What do you think of the idea of the ‘greater good’ principle?

Mostly meh. As John said, who decides? My favorite is when the PTB tell us little people to inconvenience ourselves for “the common good,” but then they still travel by private plane and lavishly water their lush gardens. Some dopey billionaires are now racing to be the first in space travel… how many resources will that use up? But I’m supposed to take only a 3-minute shower. Eff that!

Do you enjoy riding a roller coaster or other amusement park type ride?

No, I hate them all because of my chronic owies and also they’re terribly unsafe. Every year, there are serious accidents from theme park rides, and the parks go to great lengths to cover that up, but sometimes the news sneaks through.

Which musical instrument is the most annoying to you personally?

I like them all unless they’re blazingly loud. I don’t mind the ones others hate, such as bagpipes or accordions… long as the volume is reasonable.

Would you rather have a vivid imagination or a photographic memory if you had to choose just one?

I had an moderately accurate eidetic memory when I was young ~ it’s how I smashed every test that required memorization. All I had to do was recall the page of the book or notes the text was written on and I could “see” the answer. I still have a good memory for names and numbers, but it’s not what it was and I miss that. Since I already have a vivid imagination, I’ll take my eidetic (photographic) memory back please.

Feel free to share fun plans for this season that you might have.   Especially now that many places are lifting restrictions and travel is a bit easier.

I recently rejoined Meetup, attended a fun lunch, and have several more events scheduled. These aren’t board game related groups like I belonged to in the past, but simply conversation and noms. I’ll be traveling to San Diego by train in a few weeks with a group for the day, and I’m really looking forward to that!

~*~

Image from Melanie.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

No Name Kitty [repost]

Rainbow in the clouds

[Please note that I wrote this in 2016 and I have since moved.]

There was a kitty who lived in our parking lot. A nice neighbor, Christine, provided food, water, and shelter for him. He had a cozy bed and a covered bed too. I kept a bag of treats in my car and gave him a handful a few times a week. Sometimes he disappeared for a few days, but just when I thought he was gone for good, the next morning I’d see him snoozing under a car as I left for work.

He wasn’t a pretty cat ~ small and sturdy, black and white, but mostly dirty. I often said, “Hi kitty, you need a baff!” He wasn’t amused, nor did he ever come close enough to be touched. And he didn’t meow; I’ve read that ferals don’t. Meowing is something that tame cats learn to do to get attention from people. (Gatsby is a champion meower.) But he did know me and would stare at me sometimes as if to say, ahem, you haven’t given me any treats in a few days… whassup with that?

Last night there was a note on the main door: Christine had called animal control that morning to have the kitty put down. He had been attacked by a raccoon in the night and was severely injured. She asked us to please close the trash bin lids to discourage the raccoons from coming around since other cats prowl around the back of our apartment complex. I didn’t even know we had raccoons! Sometimes I hear horrid shrieky noises in the middle of the night, but I just assume that’s people having sex.

Poor kitty. I cried for him. I imagined him trying to defend the parking lot from a herd of vicious raccoons. They’re so huge and nasty! What was he even thinking? He should have just stayed under a car. And now I’m worried about the 2-3 little black cats back there ~ how could they possibly deal with raccoons? I hope they have sense enough to run away. I also know that people are simply not going to close the trash bin lids when they get full. That’s just how people are. We probably need another bin anyway, since the two we have get overstuffed.

I don’t know how old no name kitty was or what kind of life he had overall. But for the 3+ years I’ve lived here, I suppose he’s had it pretty good for an outside cat, until now. The lifespan for an outside cat is only 4 years. Nature is cruel and savage, always has been. Cats, eagles, snakes, raccoons… I’ve seen/read a lot about nature last few days. Can’t get these images out of my head now. Only the thinnest of walls separates us from savagery at any moment.

Thank you for patrolling our parking lot, no name kitty. RIP.

~*~

Image source unknown.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Layers [repost]

lasagna layers

I never baked you a lasagna,
Never prepared noodles and cheese,
Meat and sauce just to please you.
I didn’t fill my small apartment
With the smells of an Italian
Jewish grandmother’s kitchen.
I thought you were joking,
But you were not, when you said
You wanted those layers,
Deep, rich, and bubbling;
When I falsely assumed
We should spend time in bed
Under tiers of covers,
Limbs intertwined,
Breath comingling,
Your mouth hot on mine.
That all was fine,
But you wanted more proof
That I cared about you–
You had spent money on me,
And I had given nothing in return.
You felt burned–
Where was a steaming casserole
Full of pasta and beef,
Arranged with sausage and cheese,
All underneath that luscious canopy
Of melted mozzarella?
These would have been the levels
Of deliciousness to cement
My honorable intentions.
But instead I appeared
Like every other superficial wench,
Out to finagle fleeting fragments
Of base bodily bliss.
Yet there is so much more
To human existence
Than that initial layer
Of physical desire;
That first kiss on the beach fire;
That want to dance naked in the moonlight madness;
That can’t go a day without your touch sadness;
That need your voice in the night lustcraze;
That lost in the smell of you dreamdaze…
If only
I had
Made
The
Damn
Lasagna.

~*~

Poetry form: free verse.
Image from Pixabay.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Sssssestina [repost]

snake

I am Shesha, coiled in space,
And I have a thousand heads;
I float on the sea of Vishnu bliss.
When everything comes to an end,
I will be all that remains
To begin the world over again.

In the Aztec, I am worshipped again,
Given my own calendar space.
I am etched in crumbling remains;
I dominate fragile human heads
And hold up buildings end to end,
While lords dance to me in bliss.

Charmers use me in their bliss,
Playing their flutes again and again,
As children gather at market’s end.
Unwinding in my basket space,
I sway to the motion of their heads;
Oblivious to music I remain.

A healer’s symbol I remain;
Now researched for medicinal bliss.
My shape adorns the logo head.
And I’m respected in church again–
Some, out of the mainstream space,
Who have faith enough to face the end.

Yet it’s the same in the end:
The garden mythos that remains
To overwhelm the public space,
The Bible story, Heaven’s bliss;
Most will name me evil yet again,
But they choose not to use their heads.

Some see the diamond in my head,
The symmetrical patterns end to end–
They value the beauty in me again.
I am part of the ancient remains
And exist in my own plane of bliss,
A differently scaled dimensional space.

My multiple heads, all-knowing, remain
Alert to the coming end, hooded in bliss,
Ecstatic to begin again and reinvent space.

~*~

Poetry form: sestina.
Image credit ~ Christopher Gillette.
Written for Sestina @ d’Verse.
Discovered via Mists of Indigo @ Tao-Talk.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Freedom’s Just Another Word…

Highway lights at night

… for nothing left to lose. Or so goes the song “Me and Bobby McGee.”

This week, one of Melanie’s Share Your World questions is “Do you feel free? Why or why not?”

I’ve been thinking about this for a day, and I have to answer yes… and no. Like many Americans, I often think of freedom as mainly freedom of movement, as in “the open road.” I could get in my car right now and drive anywhere I please in the USA, which is large enough to keep me going for a long time. That is, assuming I can afford $4.00/gallon gas. Freedom takes money, or else you’ll soon find yourself living in a box under the bridge. Maybe that’s true freedom ~ no job, no rent, no obligations. No one is going to invite a stinky box-dweller to game night, so you are also free of friends.

The more I ponder the concept of freedom, the more I believe that it’s just an illusion. There are a ton of laws we must follow in order to stay free from being arrested. There are loads of bills we must pay, whether we work or not. If someone else pays your bills, you are likely obligated to them in other ways, such as having to cook dinner and/or give blowjobs. Yes, I know some will say they love doing those things. Do they really or are they brainwashed?

If you’re a parent of young children, you are not free because you have tons of responsibilities. If you have old disabled parents, you probably feel the duty to help care for them. Once you get a pet, you are bound to ensure its well-being. The list goes on. Personally, I feel freer now than in the past because I am single, my children are grown, my parents are dead, and I can do what I want. Except… I have to work every day, pay my bills, and feed the cat.

Interesting question!

~*~

Image from Pexels.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Chaos Q’s

Share your world

I found Melanie’s SYW questions today to be very interesting…

What do you believe but cannot prove?

That Gatsby loves me.

Do animals have morals?   Exclude human beings from the equation please. 

We can’t exclude humans because humans are the ones to define morals, but even given that, I think we can observe animals behaving in ways that may not benefit them personally or may even hurt them, but are good for their community as a whole. Elephants will stop what they’re doing to help a stray calf, for example. On the other side of the spectrum, a polar bear may eat her babies if she perceives there isn’t enough food for them all, since the babies would die anyway, and now she has a chance to live to reproduce again. But that’s what she’s programmed to do and she is following Polar Bear Rules, which benefit them as a whole though not necessarily one particular bear. We might applaud an action that breaks a rule and label it moral, but what if it ends up destroying the entire community?

I think we often delude ourselves that animals are so different from us in order to justify hunting, killing, eating, and otherwise exploiting them and ruining their habitats. But they may not be so different from us. We do that to people too, don’t we? Oops, I mentioned people, my bad.

Of course, even getting people to admit this about animals might not change much. I’m still eating meat on occasion, so there you go. I also eat eggs frequently and drink milk, which are just as bad. It’s hard to live in accordance with all our beliefs sometimes ~ Mark Manson says that people angst too much over chicken sandwiches, which is a form of “moral masturbation” and can prevent us from making any progress. Chickens may disagree however.

Is there inherent order in nature or is it all chaos and chance?

Both! Look at leaves and flowers and beehives to observe the beauty of natural order. But then comes a tornado to destroy it all. The universe was born in chaos, if you subscribe to the Big Bang Theory, and then sorted itself out according to the laws of physics. But what are the chances we’d end up exactly where we are right now, with me writing this reply on my lunch break? So random!

Where is your least favorite place in the world?

I’ll stick with places I’ve actually been, as opposed to ones I imagine are terrible… so I will say in a car on a curvy, narrow mountain or cliff road. Shudder.

~*~


Image from Melanie.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Attitude of Gratitude

gatsby kitty cat love hearts

Melanie asks if we think gratitude is necessary. For a contented life, in my case, it is definitely necessary. The last man I dated wondered how I could be grateful for anything if I didn’t believe in God. That’s pretty narrow-minded and judgy, in my opinion. I am grateful every day for the good things in my life, even if I am not thanking some Guy in the Sky for them. I respect other views, but personally I have not experienced a glimpse of the supernatural, except in feverish dreams.

Part of the reason I feel grateful is because there is so much badness in the world, yet I am lucky enough to have kind and successful daughters, two sweet grands, a loving kitty, a happy living situation, and a good job. When I start to moan about my back hurting or the horrible traffic or whatever unpleasant thing, it helps me to think of the positives. It doesn’t take the pain away, but focusing on gratitude for the good keeps me from narrowing my emotional aspect to the bad.

Also, I’ve made a lot of dumb mistakes, and I have rightfully been invoiced for them. Not by a god, but by the direct consequences of actions. Meanwhile, I’ve worked hard and been rewarded for that, mostly. I am constantly thankful for my perseverance in unfortunate circumstances and for the good people in my life who have helped me. Things could be worse… and I’m grateful they aren’t!

~*~

Image is mine.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Backstory [repost]

Paula at the beach in hat

Alt title: Why Use One Word When 700 Are Available?

I wrote a prose poem about “who I am” that was really “where I’m from” a long time ago for a prompt, though I’m not sure if we called them prompts then. It might have been on Usenet, which we used to deride as a sewer, before every other form of social media became awful too. (I still think blogs are the best of the bunch.) The poem was short and not that deep, but then I pulled it up again and fleshed it out for another venue.

I’ve been thinking about Rory’s question (“who are you really?”). It’s a pretty easy question for most people to answer superficially. We generally give answers about who we are in relationship to other people. I’m a mom. I’m a wife, or not. I’m a good friend of so & so, a loyal employee of XYZ Company, yada. We’re plotting our position on axes of family and work, then friendships, maybe next our relationship to interests. I’m a fan of such and such sports team, rah! Or I love to garden, knit, read, write, pull the tails off little blind mice. Whatever.

We tell the world who we are in this multi-dimensional GPS system. Locate me here, in this spot: mom, ex-wife, legal secretary, poet, cat lover, Game of Thrones fan. This is me, right here. What if there are other humans occupying that position? I might have to refine it further. But does this actually even answer the question? Does this explain who I am? Do you know me from these factoids? Could you tell someone about the essence of me from my GPS position?

The other week I was playing a board game with some good friends I’ve known for a long time. It was called ImaginiFF. A question came up: “ImaginiFF Paula were a movie. Which movie would she be?” There were 5 random movies and then Doctor Zhivago, which was obviously correct in my mind for a variety of reasons. Everyone chose it, and this surprised me. I wouldn’t have expected them to know. But they did. And this made me unreasonably happy because most of the time I think people don’t even understand me at all, not even people to whom I’m closest. But I don’t think you would get the correct movie from a bunch of disparate facts about me; you’d have to spend years orbiting my weirdness.

Anyway, here is my GPS poem about who I am via where I’m from. I take the long way around.

Backstory

I am from the Big Apple, take a bite, glitter lights, lemon ice, museums, zoos, art and news, Coney Island hot dogs, Jones Beach sandy sweets, sharp shells stab soft carpet feet.

I am from the place where you pull the blinds, someone’s looking, where you smell your neighbor’s curry cooking, he makes you sweet tea with cardamom, next day Jamaican barbecue mon, the Filipinos have one record, sugar sugar aw honey honey, your father brings home Saturday pastries from the German bakery, “schwartzwalder kirschetorte,” it sounds funny, say it again, and the Japanese girl doesn’t know your words but can show you how to fold paper squares into gentle birds.

I am from the thorny Jersey berry bushes, blackpurple bursts against tanned sunfingers, slipping stones in backyard creek, crick, algae slick, willow fronds sweep redwood table pirate ship, hopscotch sidewalks toss a chip, Sunday French toast sausage brunch, leaves turning orangecrunch, rubber masks hiding smiles fake, the quickmelt of perfect crystal snowflakes.

I am from big city and small town, remain unclaimed, cheer for no team, believe in no crown, blood flows only down, I look out to starless airless zerodark, time past seems tissue-thin, walk back in, an afternoon of bubble toys, uncaring joy, turquoise dresses rhinestone sunlight, just once, golden flash, one more pass, because I am from a yard of girls with summerdrip popsicles, before the apple, before the crash.

I am from disconnect and strife, feudglue of life, mashed crookedly together, a puzzle I failed to see until I broke apart, alone, jagged on my own, and now I know why people stay, bicker low and graceless, get physical redangry splashwine in faces, because they can’t bear the abyss, yes, I missed, I get it all now, too late.

~*~

Image is mine.
Poetry form: prose poem.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Vagueku [repost]

blurry sunset

Once there was something
Or maybe it was nothing–
We will never know.

Today’s path is clear;
Tomorrow’s out of focus.
Time to wash windows.

Mysterious dreams:
Pointing toward the future
Or too much teevee?

Cat has been silent…
Maybe plotting my demise
Or stalking a bug.

Birthday approaches:
A time for celebration
And counting undones.

~*~

The Daily Prompt: Vague (2018).
Poetry form: haiku (multiple).
Image is mine.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.