Scary Shary [SYW]

Here are Melanie’s “Share Your World” 10-15-18 Questions:

What’s the biggest screw up in the kitchen that you were responsible for?

– I tried to open a bottle with a serrated knife before work and almost sliced my finger off. Went to work with a makeshift bandage that kept getting blood-soaked and they sent me to the doctor, where I got stitches. 😢

What, in your opinion, makes people believe absurd conspiracy theories?

– Fear. People are scared of the unknown, of things they can’t control ~ natural disasters, crime, death, etc. ~ so they latch onto comforting explanations. Without this comfort, many people would not be able to function because life is fucking terrifying. And for the atheists who like to mock those who believe in the supernatural, I have news for you: you also believe in bullshit, just different bullshit. Consider this. At any moment, you could die and die horribly, but you don’t think about that because you wouldn’t be able to get through the day. And what’s more, every time you leave the house, you trust that crazy medicated (or unmedicated!) other humans in their monster vehicles are going to obey the traffic laws. These are the same people who believe in gods and ghosts and angels and aliens. But you believe they’ll stop at the red lights. That’s nuts! But you believe it or you couldn’t leave the house.

In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?

– Trump. Yeah, he was an absolutely disgusting horrible racist misogynistic pig, but at least he was human and now we have these AI overlords and glrkk–(end transmission)

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

– No, a hot dog is a bunch of garbage scraps of meat byproducts scraped together from the slaughterhouse floor and fake colored pink. Perhaps you’re thinking of the hot dog bun? Again, not if it’s hinged together. A snadwich is two separate bread pieces with something in the middle. Like peanut butter and blackberry jam, which is much more delicious than yucky floor scrapings.

And finally:

What wonderful thing happened to you this week that you’d like to share?  It can be a gratitude moment or something that just made you feel very happy at the time or made you laugh.

– Well, I had a big mad at Amazon because I ordered cat food and tea last week that was scheduled for delivery yesterday and I was sitting right there in my apartment when I got an email that the delivery guy came and left since he didn’t have my gate code. Wtfff? My gate code is in my address on Amazon and so is my phone number! Why didn’t he call? Why can’t he read? I know it’s only cat food and tea, and it’s rescheduled for today, but I was livid. I feel that Prime’s quality has gone down as their prices have increased just like my internet provider Spectrum. So, I began a chat with Amazon at 11pm last night all irate and they were very sorry and are going to “strictly escalate” my order and yada yada plus give me five bucks. Yayyy!

Happy! Shopping again. 🙂⭐️🎈

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The Obsession with Sound [ranty rant]

I cop to being unusual, but I really do not understand the internet’s obsession with sound. Here we have the perfect medium for the written word and yet people relentlessly attempt to undermine that, day in and day out, with audio. Whyyy???

I mock all of you who can’t go five minutes without listening to music or babble. Hell, I teased my own children about this, not that it did any good. Apparently they were able to get great grades with their awful tunes blasting as they worked, idk how. BACK IN MY DAY, I studied in silence as the goddess intended.

It drives me bananas when I click on a link, believing I’m going to be reading a nice article, but instead a horrible video starts playing. ICK!!! Of course I have my phone on silent, but that’s not the point. The point is… why do so many of you prefer to be yapped at rather than read something at your leisure?

I almost did a lengthy music poll the otter day from a fellow blogger until I realized, meh, I don’t care enough about music to answer all these questions. I’ll tell you guys a secret too, since you’re my extra special blog readers: sometimes I don’t have any music 🎶 on in the car. I just drive along, accompanied only by MY OWN THOUGHTS. Pretty damn scary, eh? Well, I’m a tough old bird. Ask anyone.

Now before anyone misreads this and concludes I hate music ~ I don’t. I simply am not obsessed with it. I enjoy music some of the time. (Audio clips of news items pretty much never ever.) I have a minimal amount of trivia stored in my mind about some oldies, but not a lot and idc. This makes me a mediocre player at many of the music trivia games. Boo hoo. Last couple years I’ve been enjoying a little bit of country music (when it has amusing lyrics) and a little bit of classical (no lyrics). But again, I have no knowledge of these genres. There is nothing more irritating than mentioning I like something to a rabid fan, and then they dive into an enormous boring lecture on the thing. MUTE BUTTON PLZ!

Oh look, I segued into a secondary rant there. It happens. Actually rather a lot. 😂

The takeaway? Silence is next to godliness, even for an atheist. Especially one who gets migraines.

Caps & Cobras

It’s been over 6 months since I deleted Facebook and that was a brilliant move, if I do say so myself. Not only did it free up scads of time for blogging (both reading and poasting), which is so much more enjoyable than scrolling through memes and trollery, but it also eliminated a huge bunch of negativity and annoyance from my day. I can read a quick burst of what people are saying about trending topics on twitter, and that’s enough to keep me in the culture loop.

But I need to make another big change, one I’ve been resisting, out of sheer laziness, much like I avoided dumping FB for far too long. And that habit is checking the “news.” I put this in quotes because most of what I’m seeing isn’t real news at all but garbage from bubbleheads. This is beyond what Alyssa fucking Milano has to say about anything, as if I give a shit, but supposed journalists who aren’t. All they do is recycle crap from other sites and try to manipulate our feelings. I know we all know this, but I’m finally doing something about it.

I want to see stuff like natural disasters, famous people’s deaths, election results, etc., reported clearly and dispassionately. I don’t want to be told something is tragic or devastating. I can figure that out myself. If I see a photo of a celeb or their spouse, I’ll decide what to think about their looks; I don’t need to have my opinion spoonfed to me like I’m a toddler in a high chair. Wtfff?

Today I changed my news preferences to see only science and health articles, info about cats and psychology, puzzles and math, etc., along with factual reports of current events from NPR. No more opinions of how I should be terrified of Trump or believe Kavanaugh isn’t an asshole or whatever. That shit isn’t news! Kellyanne’s yapping is not news. Kanye’s blather isn’t news. I don’t care what kind of stupid hat Melania wears while she flits around doing nothing. And holy fucking shit Taylor Swift has an opinion, so let’s all bow down. 🤮

I also dumped all the royals ~ I’ve been punished with nonstop “news” of them because I clicked on a few Markle stories back when. Now they’re all banned. What a bunch of bores. No, sorry, it’s not their fault the idiot press feels they must report on what little George has for lunch. And speaking of hats! The royals are bananas over hats. My god.

Anyway, I’ve been rewarded already! The first story that came up was about cannibal cobras. 🐍 You might think, well sure, if they’re really hungry… tastes like chicken, right? Wrong! They like to nom up other snakes. Because why? Because a snake is really easy for another snake to eat! Bet you never thought about that. Neither did I. We were too busy reading about dumb hats to think about interesting things, such as cobras’ dietary preferences.

I’m gonna have more cool shit like this here in the future. You can hang your hat on it. Or you can keep your hat on… 😘

Distance

Everything

That ever was

Is still here

In one form

Or another;

Won’t keep us warm,

When winter comes,

But it’s something.

One of these texts

Will be our last,

Though we won’t know,

Till silent weeks

Have floated past.

~*~

Thanks to Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo photo prompt

Storylines

I’m not a fan of the comeback, the do-over, the replay, the second chance. It’s a stale plot device for the same old romance. If it was fate, why didn’t it work the first time? If he’s so great, why’d he leave, or why did she? People don’t change: remember this. A kiss is just a kiss.

When I read a replay romance storyline on the jacket, the book goes back on the shelf. Exes are forced to work together to save the world. Or to solve a kidnapping. Yawn. No other agent will do, gotta be double-oh-you. Or a supermodel returns to her small town to care for her dying grandma, and look who’s now Sheriff… it’s the prom date she ditched, Brick McHardwick.

No thanks. I want someone new for our heroine, not a grimy old dude from the recycling bin.😝

Traffic Tirade

Everyone hates traffic, but I would venture to say that most people get upset with jams on the road because they haven’t given themselves enough time to get to their destination. Then they’re cranky and upset because they’re late. I always leave extra time because I know there is likely to be a nasty clog at some point, and the longer the trip the higher the odds. So, time isn’t my issue.

People are. The cranky, upset people who behave unpredictably terrify me. They’ll abruptly change lanes unsafely for no reason. They’ll start honking because they’re angry and must express it, even though that accomplishes nothing. If I need to change lanes to exit, I try to be polite, but occasionally am forced to be slightly aggressive, due to these idiots guarding “their” space like a lion stalking a gazelle, and I hate that. It makes my head pound. So stressful.

Tirade aside, I’ve been thinking about where I would live if I could do whatever I wanted, and surprisingly it wouldn’t be out in the sticks away from traffic and crowds. I don’t like feeling isolated from civilization and culture. What I did enjoy was living in Chicago and not owning a car. I was free from driving stresses and car expenses. I used their great public transportation system whenever I needed to, along with the occasional taxicab. I went wherever I pleased without one iota of concern re traffic and parking. That was fabulous!

That’s my ideal: another city with great art, restaurants, museums, etc. AND a reliable public transportation system, but also affordable and not ridonkulously cold or beastly hot. That rules out every major city, unfortunately. 😂

Where she almost runs out of gas & ends up with cupcakes

So the otter day I needed gas and should have stopped off after work but was too lazy. I’ll get it in the morning, I thought. But in the morning, I forgot I needed gas and didn’t leave extra time before work to get some. I could have been a couple minutes late, but I don’t like to do that. I’ll get it at lunch, I decided. But then I didn’t wanna cuz I was busy eating a potato. After work, I really had to get some because the light came on when I started the car. Eeps! Scary!

I went to the Shell station by my office, which I hate cuz peeps are rude and aggressive there, but whatever. My credit card didn’t work. Which was ridic because it’s a new card and I have plenty of credit on it. Maybe the card reader doesn’t like new, anti-fraud cards? I tried an older card, also with plenty of money on it, and it didn’t work either. OMG the Shell station knows I hate it and hates me back! There were no open pumps and so I left in a rage.

I googled gas stations and saw there was a Chevron right nearby on MacArthur. Great! The map lady kept telling me to turn on streets that were not MacArthur, which was putting me into more of a boiling rage. Sometimes I really hate the map lady. Why can’t I just turn on MacArthur, which is coming right up? I did that. Then I see the Chevron is on my left directly across from the airport. What a pain. SHIRLEY there are more gas stations if I drive down MacArthur just a little bit, right? It’s full of hotels and businesses. I keep driving (with the fuel light on) and NOTHING. WTF? Why are there no gas stations anywhere? OMFG! I’m thinking I should turn around and go to the Chevron, but then I’m at Fashion Island already, which is a giant mall/business center. Oh FFS, there has to be a gas station here!

I end up flung out on Pacific Coast Highway where there is a 76 station, hooray, so I go there. The gas is of course like $18 per gallon, since I’m not even in Newport Beach now but Corona del Mar, where the homes are $4M minimum. Excuse me estates. It cost me $430 to fill up my Corolla. People looking at me like oh haha maid’s night out isn’t that cute? The 76 station card reader is fine with my new credit card.

Btw, I now hate Range Rovers more than BMWs, for anyone keeping track of my prefs.

While the car is gobbling up the primo fuel, I’m thinking dur I could have simply driven home and gotten gas at my normal Mobil station, and I would have wasted less gas and time looking for gas, but noooo. Now, at this point, a sensible person would go home, nuke some dinner, and watch the tube, but we’re talking about me… and I see I’m directly across from Corona del Mar Plaza. This plaza contains Gulfstream bar and restaurant, where I first met the man who broke my heart ~ remember him? We just talked about him! But who cares, eh?

Corona del Mar Plaza also haz a Sprinkles Cupcakes store. Oh, yes it does. After my tremendously stressful ordeal finding gas, I decide I am entitled to a gourmet cupcake, which I haven’t had in ages. I bought two: the triple cinnamon and the pumpkin, both with cinnamon cream cheese frosting. I wanted to try their special flavor, Timeless Magic (might be a Harry Potter thing), cuz it was gorgeous purple with gold dust and black velvet cake, but once they said it was filled with pop rocks I reverted to form and took the pumpkin.

Lest anyone think I ate two cupcakes at once (the horror!), I had one for dinner and one the next morning for breakfast. Here’s a weird thing. I loved the cake part of these cupcakes, especially the cinnamon, which I highly recommend. Soooo moist and flavorful (and I don’t understand why people have a thing about the word moist). But since I haven’t had frosting since like my birthday in April, I found it almost too sweet at first. Then I got used to it again and it was fabulous! But my reaction shocked me. Too sweet? What? But even the little bit of candy I indulge in now and then isn’t enough to keep my sugar craving up to 11 like before. Honestly I would be happy with just the cinnamon cake sans frosting. Or the pumpkin.

I know. Who am I? What’s happened to the real Paula? If we’re such enigmas to even ourselves, with our own once-solid traits as shifting as the sands, how can we expect to begin to understand another person? Take a look around you, at the people you think you know… do you really know them at all? Do you really know yourself? Anything can change in an instant… like your dessert preferences. Proceed with caution.

This was like two (2) enthralling poasts in one. You’re welcome! 😀

The Fifth Element

I learned the word quintessential as a teenager while reading an article about Valerie Bertinelli. The writer described her as “quintessentially cute,” so I had to look that up. It was the perfect description! Besides being adorable-looking, Valerie was and is one of my favorite celebrities. I follow her on Twitter ~ she’s one of the few celebs I follow ~ and I agree with her about almost everything. Right now, she’s talking football, so I’m ignoring her, but I normally love everything she tweets about politics, cats, food, etc. Not to forget, of course, that I was an avid fan of One Day at a Time plus enjoyed many of Valerie’s made for TV movies.

Back to quintessential. Today I was curious about the origin of the word, so back to the trusty dictionary I wandered. Where did the quint part come from, I wondered… what does being a perfect example of something have to do with the number five? Welp, here’s the answer!

The philosophers and scientists of the ancient world and the Middle Ages believed that the world we inhabit was entirely made up of four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. Aristotle added a fifth element, the aether or ether, by which he meant the material that fills the rest of space, mostly invisibly but sometimes taking the form of stars and planets. Many writers described the element as a kind of invisible light or fire. In the Middle Ages, it was referred to as the quinta essentia (“fifth element”). It isn’t surprising that the quinta essentia came to stand for anything so perfect that it seemed to surpass the limitations of earth. Today we generally use quintessential rather freely to describe just about anything that represents the best of its kind. — Merriam Webster

So, now we are all smarter, yayyy! 😀

A Big Scoop of Bloggy Goodness

I like personal blogs ~ and no that’s not a euphemism for pr0n. I don’t need to see any body parts, thanks. In fact, I don’t even need to see your face, as gorgeous as I’m sure it is. Some bloggers prefer to jabber away in a bit of anonymity, and while I wish no one felt a need to do this, I respect the decision. Even I don’t reveal my full legal name, because trolls and stalkers.

What I’m talking about is people blogging about themselves and their lives, for the most part. I like to know how others think, how they feel about issues, what’s going on in their world. I don’t mind if people link to news articles if they give their personal opinion about the article. I used to say this repeatedly on Facebook: why are you simply linking to a piece on FOX or CNN? I know how to read the damn news. Give me your take on the story. But nope. Link after link after link. I hid people because of it. To this day, I don’t understand why they do that. Do they really believe their friends are too stupid to read the news without directions? Thank gawd I’m done with that FB crap.

I lurve the bloggers I follow now. In most cases, y’all give your opinions on whatever you link to, and that’s what I want to read. Your thoughts! Even if you’re discussing a pile of songs from the 1960s, I’d like to know what inspired you to choose those particular songs or that artist. What are your memories or emotions from that era which this music evokes?

The human interest angle is what makes a blog shine, even if it’s ostensibly about recipes or flowers or doggie photos. When you consider your favorite TV chef or vet or home improvement guru or whomever, it’s the host’s personality that grabs you more than the content. The content could be offered by anyone.

The other week I watched a docu about meerkats, of all the ridiculous things. But it was fascinating. Why? Because of the narrator! He had a lovely, sexy British voice (redundant there, I realize). I had to look him up: Bill Nighy. He’s the reason why I watched a whole bunch of eps and may watch more. Savage little beasties really. (Btw, it’s called Meerkat Manor, and you have to watch the UK version to get Bill, otherwise you end up with Stockard Channing. 😝)

Ta!

Flower Power [SOCS]

Flowers are a funny thing… I used to tell men (dates/prospective dates) not to get me flowers, that I was allergic, or that they’d trigger migraines. I’d sometimes simplify this all to “I’m not really into flowers.” I’d make sure to say this if it was around Valentine’s Day, the holiday that men dread. (I’d also say I didn’t care about V-Day too.) 🥀

All that was a lie. I love flowers! Of course I do. 🌺🌼🌸 Flowers are beautiful and awesome, each one different and special. I love them singly and in bouquets, in arrangements and in gardens. My favorites are sunflowers and orchids, plus all the variegated roses, especially pink to yellow. I also adore African violets. My mom used to have a lot of those.

I told men I didn’t like flowers so they wouldn’t spend extra money on me. I was trying to be helpful and kind. But it all backfired anyway as several men who paid for dinners and such criticized me for that later anyway. I’ve experienced a lot of criticism from men I’ve dated and had relationships with. I don’t know if this is normal or if I attract these kind of men, or what the deal is. It’s probably the biggest reason I’ve quit dating. Not only do I fail to find someone, but then I have to listen to a pile of whinery. My favorite: “you didn’t bake me cookies!”

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to be helpful and kind. Maybe I should have said hell yeah I like flowers and candy… and I love to be treated to a super special night out for Valentine’s Day. 🌹💋🍷Then I would have ended up dating a whole different class of men, and that might not have been a bad thing. Or it could have been much worse!