FPQ24: Fear of Failure

Fandango provocatively asks…

“Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all? What’s one thing would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

Yes, many times. But I don’t consider this some sort of character defect ~ I consider it a rational decision.

Let’s take the dating scene. I’ve decided to stop looking for love because I’m afraid of another heartbreak, not to mention how annoying and time-consuming the process is to begin with. This is a logical choice, given my experiences since 2009 when my ex-husband left.

There are other examples throughout my life where I’ve made safe choices over more “interesting” ones because of the fear of failure. But in my mind, I’m making a good decision based on risk analysis. The reason fear of failure even comes up is because the more exciting choices are riskier.

I choose the road that has been taken, along with a GPS phone, extra water, snacks, and a jacket. I’ll leave the wild, overgrown path for an intrepid explorer.

PS: The one thing I would do if I knew I could not fail? Spend all my time and resources writing The Great American Novel.

One-Liner Wednesday

I’ve been neglecting my reading. May has been a zero-book month. How sad. I’ve been super busy with projects outside of work, including my own writing, and I’ve simply been exhausted at night. I need to make reading a priority again. Writers should read more than blogs and twitter. I miss books!

The great thing is that they’re all still there waiting for me.📚✨

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

The Eagles Nailed It

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said, ‘we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

“Hotel California” ~ 1976

~*~

The Daily Spur

Music & Movies

My cat hates YouTube. Whenever I search for a song for one of the music prompts he gets so mad. I try to be considerate of him, but sometimes I just have to play a snippet!

He judges me.

The other day, when I was in the middle of a series of weather-related migraines, I replied to a question about music by saying I could easily give it up. I was thinking that I mostly only listen to music in the car these days, and while that’s pleasant, it isn’t a necessity. I don’t usually play music at home because I’m writing there, and I like to write in silence.

But when my head was better I felt guilty about my answer because I enjoyed a whole bunch of tunes on Saturday. At game night, my friend had on an oldies station and all my favorites kept playing. It was incredible to listen to these great tunes from the 60s and 70s, some of which I hadn’t heard in years.

Also, I had forgotten about movies! I love movies, and music adds so much to a film. In fact, some of my favorite films are musicals! Here are some of my favorite songs from my favorite musicals:

Chicago (so hard to choose!)

Walk The Line (again, every song is so good)

Hair (watched this a million times!)

The Sound of Music (love this song, made even more poignant by the fact that he becomes a Nazi and betrays the family)

Fiddler on the Roof (I get more out of this every time I watch)

My Fair Lady (sexist, but still enjoyable)

Grease (so much fun!)

Mamma Mia (this is from the sequel, which was hilarious and sad)

Cabaret (scary but great)

The Lion King (best Disney film imo)

~*~

THW Movies

THW Music

Rainy Reflections…

My soul loves the rain:

It seems dreamy and poetic.

Fog rolling in after love departs

Is such a perfect metaphor

To describe a dismal day

And a lonely, broken heart.

But my head dreads the storms,

Which trigger loads of pain–

Not of the romantic variety,

But actual pounding migraines.

Blustery winds stir up debris,

And dust swirls through the air;

I want to celebrate thunder

But feel nothing but despair.

Yet, when pressure subsides,

And the world sparkles clean,

I adore rain once more…

My equilibrium restored.

~*~

Reflections Prompt

Thursday Inspiration

Siberia High School

My best high school fren.

Stole these Q’s from Fandango, who says he found them at Barbara’s.

1. Did you know your current significant other?

No. I met him in December 2011 at the Orange County Animal Shelter.

2. Make and year of car?

Whatever would start at 40 below zero.

3. What kind of job?

Babysitting, then K-Mart cashier.

4. Where did you live?

Siberia aka suburban Illinois.

5. Were you popular?

Everyone was jealous of my awesomeness and avoided me.

6. Were you in choir?

As if.

7. Ever get suspended from school?

No.

8. If you could, would you go back?

🤮

9. Still talk to the person that you went to prom with?

Prom, lol.

10. Did you skip school?

Of course.

11. Go to all the football games?

😂😂😂

12. Favorite subject?

Math.

13. Do you still have your yearbooks?

Nope.

14. Did you follow the career path you planned?

Didn’t plan, which was a mistake.

15. Did you have a class ring?

God no.

16. Still close with your best friend?

Actually we recently emailed.

17. Who was your favorite teacher?

All the weird math dudes. And I liked Mr. Foreman, the creative writing teacher too.

18. What was your style?

Jeans and ten million sweaters.

19. Favorite shoes?

Boots obviously.

21. Favorite music?

Top 40.

22. High school hair?

Long & boring, same as now.

23. What kind of cologne/perfume?

Don’t remember.

24. How old when graduated?

18.

25. Did you play a sport?

One guess.

Prompts Gone Mad!

These are just for today!

My God.

And every one of them is great, of course. I want to do them all. I realize they don’t all have to be done today, but my own “rain” inspirational thingie is already 4 days old and goes well with blustery fog during the fervent breakup over the kitchen remodel, or whatever.

Ack. Wasting time! Off to search my photos for a colorful square circle…

Laura’s Music Challenge 14

Hey hey! It’s time to join in and post some tunes for Laura’s Music Monday! 🎶💕🙂

1. Post a video of a song by a woman or a band led by a woman that youconsider to be a trailblazer in the music industry.

2. Post a video of a song by an all female band.

3. Post a video of a song by a woman that is about strength or finding your fight.

Why I Write…

The answer to this question varies with my mood. Some days I have a story to share that I think people will enjoy. Other times I simply need to express myself and words are my best tool for that. There are times I feel like being clever with language. Other days I have this ridiculous notion I’ve come up with something important to convey. Once I answered this question by talking about how writing fiction and poetry is the best way for me to organize my scattered thoughts and make some kind of sense of this messy world too.

I was thinking about all this a little while ago when I re-downloaded my drafts of Attractive Nuisance and Sweet Nothings from the cloud. The other day I’d told a friend I hadn’t been working on a novel lately, only flash fiction and poetry, because I can’t focus for more than a few minutes at a time. But ever since yesterday, when I impulsively replied to Jim’s post about a song, by jabbering on about an old pile of writing, I’ve been energized about working on this layered tale again.

Thing is, I don’t think it’s coincidence that this happened at the end of a week when I’m feeling especially frustrated at other people’s behavior. I’ve never been good at seeing patterns in the actions of real characters unless they’re completely obvious. I’m much better with fiction. And, of course, writing my own gives me a feeling of control I get nowhere else ~ I create a new world, populate it with my creations, and make them do what I want.

Just noodling. Back to work! 😀

Gloomily Yours

Sadly, I haven’t been very creative this week. Every time a prompt appears in my feed, I diligently save it in my folder with the intention to write something later. But night after night, later has faded into sleep. Also, I’ve been stressed about some stuff, but I gently remind myself… it’s not that important. Family (including Mr. Gatsby), health, work: those are hugely important. Everything else? Less so. Much less. The news can get me feeling hopeless about the future too, but I at least I only read it and don’t watch it obsessively on TV like many do. That would drive me more nuts. Doubly depressing this week was the weather, turning cold and rainy again, triggering a bunch of migraines. Or one long migraine rather, broken up with meds. Hopefully I’ll get back on schedule soon and be able to tackle the items on my writing to-to list. 😐