My Favorite Mistake

Dr. Tanya continues her blogging about bloggers’ blogs blog bloggery by asking what we did wrong way back when. My wayback is probably older than most, since I began all this in 2003, with a blog on blogspot named “Ultrablog ~ Purple prose from Orange County… it’s ULTRAVIOLET!” That was my Usenet nickname and a group of us were fond of trying new fads. I took to blogging right away and even purchased a template to match my purple theme. Loads of my fellow Usenetters have disappeared from Blogland and simply hang out on Facebook now. But I like blogging best of all social media. 😍

My posts back then were about me and my opinions. I didn’t post much or any fiction/poetry; instead I blabbed on about my takes on the news or annoying incidents and just whatever. I did jabber way more about my kids, people I knew, and even work a little. I hate to say this, but because I was married to a lawyer, I felt safe in doing as I pleased. I had no fear of writing absolutely horrible stuff to other Usenetters while engaging in “combat prose” (it was mutual) and adding my bit of badness to the atmosphere of awfulness that has become exponentially worse as time goes on. My Usenet attitude/persona carried over into my blogging. 😎

Most of my posts were short then, except a few frothy rants, and I generally flung some nonsense out 2-3 times per day. I received tons of comments and views because I had linked up with other bloggers who wanted to increase their stats, and we all visited each other’s posts constantly. I got totally caught up in the stats obsession and felt bummed out when my views sunk below 300/day or a post failed to get comments in the double digits. I participated in blog arguments and deliberately took on controversial views, all in order to get more “hits.” Finally, I ended up in a nasty flamewar (over pit bulls, lol), flamers began impersonating each other, my comment section got wrecked, and I quit. 😡

My mistakes were obvious: worrying about stats, deliberately fanning flames, jumping into arguments at other blogs, and revealing too much about my life, including photos. I consoled myself that I did less of all this than the super-popular mommy bloggers, but even so. Ick! 😝🙁😢

I missed blogging though. I began a few new boring ones, a couple private ones, and this one… which ended up as my favorite. The others are all gone with some archived in my own files. When I started on WordPress, I was determined not to care about stats, not to post about politics, and not to get involved in arguments. If anyone starts crap here, I ban them. I did make some new mistakes though ~ when I was dating (🤮), I would post about some of the things that upset me or that I found funny. Then, when I met someone I actually liked (rare), I’d frantically delete all the dating posts before they could read them. Rinse, repeat.

I haven’t deleted a post here in a long time. I doubt I would even if I met someone I liked romantically. They’d just have to deal with who I really am, and vice versa. 🤪 Not that I can imagine this happening imminently or even ever! 🤣 Anyway, I still enjoy blogging a lot, love the feedback on my writing, and have no plans to quit, despite the periodic glitches we have to deal with. Personally, I find the block editor a lot less annoying than that jerk who was copying our content a while ago. There will always be something…

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji

Four for Pondering

Rory has some great questions for us today as he continues his Friday Four prompt…

**What is more important to you – to be ‘Liked’ or to be Respected?’** What do you believe to be the difference between admiration and respect or do you find them to be the same?** Likability and friendship are two different things. Being likable to many is great, but being a great friend to a few (or one) is rare – what do you think to that statement – true or false, agree or disagree? How uniquely YOU are you in a world filled with variations of you anyway – what seperates YOU from the rest of the world and makes you Youniquely You??

1. Is it more important to me to be liked or respected? I know most people are going to say “respected” with some sort of comment about how they’re true to their values and would rather be respected for that than liked for smiling and going along. Well, I’m not most people. I would rather be liked as a helpful friend who is nice and funny and caring. I know for a fact there are people who see me this way but disrespect my values and political positions. I’m fine with that and I see no need to argue with them about issues none of us will budge on. This is why I don’t blather (much) about politics online. Not putting down those who do, but I’d rather keep my interactions positive.

2. Do I differentiate between admiration and respect? Yes, but it only works one way. What I mean is that if I respect someone, I can easily find something to admire about them, even something small. However, I can admire someone’s success without having respect for them as a person. Many celebs are in this category for me.

3. “Likability and friendship are two different things. Being likable to many is great, but being a great friend to a few (or one) is rare – what do you think to that statement – true or false, agree or disagree?” I obviously agree with this because I wrote it! Thanks, Rory, for including my thoughts. I know people who are liked by many ~ it seems important to them to collect as many “friends” as possible ~ but in my experience they are too busy spreading themselves around to have enough time and energy to focus on one true friendship. On the other hand, I know people who aren’t popular, but they will be there 100% for a few.

4. What makes me unique? Nothing! I don’t consider myself anything special, which is not meant to be a negative (see my remark about celebs). There’s nothing wrong with living a quiet, ordinary life and finding joy in small things.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji

Romance [42 words]

Romance is full of velvet roses,
Champagne, dancing, moony lust.
Those things are transitory,
Soon left to crumble into dust.
I’d rather have a loyal friend,
Someone I can fully trust,
True companions till the end…

Guess I’m talking more of love.

~*~

Written for Deb’s Challenge 27.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Truthful Tuesday Food

PCGuyIV has some delicious questions for us today…

• Are you an adventurous eater, or do you prefer to play it safe when you’re feeling peckish?
• Do you prefer dining in or dining out?
• When you dine in, who does the cooking?
• When you dine out, do you tend to stick to places you know, or do you look for new places to try?

1. I’m not super adventurous. The edgiest thing I tried was raw fish back in 1987. I really liked it, and sushi/sashimi became one of my favorite dishes until I began reading so many articles about parasites (that was the biggest reason I waited so long to try it in the first place, but then was persuaded it’s safe here). However, in 2016 a poke bowl made me sick for a month, so I haven’t had any raw fish since. Mostly, I eat the same things, or slight variations, day after day.

2. I like eating at home, though it’s nice to occasionally have dinner out with people (not so much during a plague). The issue with restaurant food is that it’s oversalted and otherwise unhealthful. The portions are gigantic, so even if I don’t finish something salty and unhealthful, I still end up eating too much of it. 🙁

3. Who cooks? This guy…

I wouldn’t call what I do “cooking” these days. I’ll make a salad or sandwich, maybe an omelet or a grilled cheese. I’ll nuke a veggie burger or some other frozen goodie. When I was still going to friend-events, sometimes I’d bake a cake or some cookies.

4. If it were up to me, I’d stick to places I know and like, but others sometimes want to try new restaurants. Generally, I will order something familiar even at a new place. I do want to try a new restaurant I saw the other day called Plant Power. It’s all veggie fast food, mostly burgers. Mmm.. 😋

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Friday Four on Saturday!

The Friday Four returns! Rory asks us to ponder thusly…

1. What three senses could you NOT live without? Discuss why…

This is purely financial: sight, hearing, touch. I could not work without being able to see and hear. If I felt nothing, I’d constantly hurt myself and be unable to work too. While I’d miss smell and taste, they aren’t necessary for my survival the way work is.

2. What is your favourite of these two and why? Pen or Pencil.

I love all writing tools, but if I’m forced to choose, I’ll go with pencil. I like being able to erase when I’m doing a puzzle and I love the variety of colored pencils for coloring. Not that I have been lately, but I might again!

3. What are your top 3 colours and why are they your favourites?

Turquoise because it’s so lush and vivid. Pure purple for drama and depth. Candy pink for laughter and happiness. (Also love sunflower yellow and lime green for tropical pops.)

4. Are you able to list 10 basic smells and if so what are they?

Vanilla, cinnamon, lemon, garlic, ocean, pine, mint, flowers, bread, wine…

Happy Rosh Hashanah! Have a sweet New Year! 🍯

RIP RBG 💔

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Procrastination… [socs]

Fiction is my jam and fires my imagination, though I often take a vacation into poetry, which I can write much faster than a novel. The construction of characters, plot, and setting is a delicate operation because all three elements must merge in a believable and interesting combination. Even a fantasy world must follow its own rules; readers will pick up on any violation and feel separation from the story. Right now, I’ve been working on a novel for a few years and the current distancing situation has given me more free time to write. Inspiration is easy; motivation can be tougher. I always have things to say, but I’m not always in the mood to function as my own scribe. I excel at procrastination and my attention wanders away from the keyboard. But I’ll get there eventually and have another work in my collection for your selection or rejection.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ87: Pandemic Pondering

Today Fandango provocatively asks…

Having been subjected to stay at home restrictions (to one degree or another) over the past six months, would you say that the quarantine has made you a better person? If so, in what ways? If not, why not?

Yes, I do think it has made me a better person regarding doing things for others. In the past, I viewed dangers as something only to worry about for myself (and immediate family), but now I think more about the wider implications of my actions. Let’s take mask wearing. I hate wearing a mask. Just gonna say it straight up. I find them super uncomfortable and annoying. In the past, I might have worn one to protect myself, but now I wear one for that reason and also because I don’t want to infect others, should I catch The Thing and not be symptomatic for a few days or so.

I’ve also learned that I’m not as much of a loner as I thought. While I have a higher tolerance for loneliness than most people I know, it’s not infinite. After a while, I really crave in-person conversation. And zooming is not a good substitute for me. It’s okay for playing games at times, but it doesn’t make me feel I’ve been with people. Kinda like cybersex back in the day…

Perhaps it’s made me a worse person too though, in that I have less tolerance for some beliefs. Or maybe that’s better! I used to be pretty accepting of quirky ideas, but now I’m not. But maybe it’s time I quit thinking that every lunatic notion is “interesting.” We’ll leave it at that.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Truthful Tuesday Books

PCGuyIV continues his Truthful Tuesday prompt with some questions about books.

Do you have a favorite author? If so, who and why? If not, why not?

I have several! For romance novels, I love Jennifer Crusie. She creates very multi-dimensional characters. When I’m in the mood for a detective story, I like the late Lawrence Sanders, especially his Delaney and McNally series. When I want to read a short story, Ray Carver is my guy. He packs so much meaning into so few words. I also enjoy novels and short stories by Haruki Murakami… they’re a bit weird in a good way. And Robert Frost is my favorite poet. Hard to explain “why” with poetry!

What was the first book you remember enjoying reading?

Arty the Smarty! It was about a fish. Let me see if I can find it… Yes! Amazon has it for $149. Yipes, wish I’d kept my little books. 💰

What three books best sum up your taste in literature?

Jennifer Crusie’s Faking It (romance). Ray Carver’s Where I’m Calling From (literary fiction/short stories). The Third Deadly Sin by Lawrence Sanders (murder/drama/police work).

FPQ86: Dream A Little Dream

Fandango provocatively asks…

What has been the strangest, weirdest dream that you can remember? What do you think triggered that dream?

When I was very young, I dreamt about getting attacked by a wolf, which I think was triggered by having a sore throat in the night. I mentioned this dream in a SYW post recently:

I was little, around 10 or under, and dreamt I got lost at the zoo. I ended up behind the exhibits and there was a wolf loose. He jumped on me and ripped my throat open. In the dream, I died, though I understand that isn’t supposed to happen in dreams. I woke up with strep throat.

This 2011 baby dream could symbolize creativity. Maybe I was writing a lot then, or thinking about new ideas for novels.

Here’s a scaryweird dream I had in 2011 about a pink and yellow lizard. This one could have been triggered by alcohol, or dating, neither of which agree with me.

When I was married, I had lots of dreams about drowning. Here’s one I had a few years later in 2013. Two others that stand out in my memory are as follows. Once when I was in a strange huge house with my whole family (including the ex’s), plus people from school, no one would listen to me that there was water coming up to the windows. Finally, we all had to go onto the roof. Another time I was in a carnival type ride with both my daughters and we ended up on the Coast Highway where everything was flooded. Supposedly these drowning dreams arise from feeling overwhelmed or suffocated by something. Or someone…

I had this dream about my mom in 2013. I think about Mom a lot and miss her so much. I’ve had plenty of other dreams with her in them, but they weren’t weird enough to remember. 💔

In 2016, I had a few dreams about driving (one with scary dogs). I’ve had many more dreams about driving, often where I’m not in the seat the right way and can’t reach the brake pedal. Driving scares me, so it makes sense I dream about it. One benefit of this bizarre year is that I’m in the car a lot less.

Lately, I don’t dream much (or my memory is immediately wiped). Maybe it’s because I don’t usually sleep that soundly, idk. I used to be such a great sleeper! Oh well… aging, whaddayagonna do?

It was fun to do the “research” for this post. Thanks, Fandango! 🙂 Sorry I couldn’t pick just one.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Fandango, Bitmoji, etc.

Bloggerz 3

I missed a few of Rory’s Bloggerz posts, since the last one I did was in June. They do take some time, so possibly I passed them up on purpose. Today I have time… it’s 102 degrees and I feel too yucky to do anything creative.

Here are this month’s 12 questions…

1. What really lights you up?

My granddaughter. She’s so adorable and fun to be around. I love the little vids her mom sends.

2. When do you think we become old?

Well, for me age IS a number, so I’m not going to spout some cliche. Today my life expectancy is 85.9, giving me 26.5 more years. This means I’ve used up about 69% of my life. That’s over two-thirds, so in my opinion I’m past “middle age” and into Oldville. Plus, I’m a grandma! 💖💖

3. What’s in your fridge right now?

Milk, rye bread, eggs, pickles, carrots, etc.

4. Never mind three wishes give me one good fantasy which would be … ?

A massive blue tsunami at the polls this November.

5. How do you think your readers see you as the writer of your blog as a person away from your blog?

Idk. It depends if they know me IRL and/or other places online, plus everyone has their own spin on things. 🙃

6. How do you wish to be seen and interpreted as a person away from your blog by the readers of your blog?

7. Do our fears start with our DNA?

Some fears are hardwired, such as the fear of snakes, heights, water, and other things that can kill you. Not everyone has those, of course, and some have them to a greater degree. Other fears are triggered by events that trip a switch. 😱

8. What is the truest quality of life in your opinion?

The limitless love I have for my children.

9. What do you think the secret is to you letting yourself go?

This implies that “letting yourself go” is a good thing, and I mostly disagree with that premise. I’m more a fan of work and self-discipline. I realize the question doesn’t mean turning into a fat frump but instead relates to feeling free and uninhibited by rules and expectations. My answer stands regardless.

10. What stops you from being the truer version of you or are you already the truer version of you?

I’ve always been about the same as far as my emotional inner life and how I express myself. Chronic pain has stopped me from doing all that I might have otherwise. I do self-censor to various degrees in different environments, but I think everyone should.

11. What are 7 things you have learned about blogging since you started your blog that would be beneficial to other bloggers right now?

Stop obsessing over stats, likes, etc. Asking for money (the “tip jar”) is obnoxious. The teaser link is annoying and people won’t click to read more. Don’t post links to news articles as the entirety of your post. Don’t load your posts with a gazillion images. Don’t post personal undisguised info about other people without their permission or compromise your children’s privacy. Shorter is better; learn to be succinct.

12. Should we care what other people think about us?

It depends who they are. I certainly care a lot what my daughters think about me. I care what my coworkers think. To a lesser extent, I care what my friends think. I don’t care what anons on the internet think, not that I try to antagonize anyone (anymore).

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Bitmoji and wherever…