The Irishman [socs]

[Note: this is stream of consciousness writing for Linda’s Saturday prompt, taking the title only of the last movie I watched, not the content, and going from there.]

When my daughter received the results of her DNA test, there was a surprise bit of Irish mixed in. 🍀 It had to be from my side, just because. We speculated that my maternal grandmother slept with an Irish milkman. But why did he have to be a milkman? I don’t know. Probably because of a long-running alt.writing joke about them on Usenet.

I became excited about being part Irish. This explains why I like green, I decided, and my cravings for those delicious shamrock-shaped butter cookies. I also love rainbows… who doesn’t love a rainbow? 🌈 Apparently, you can’t say anything about rainbows now without some idiot making it political. Eff that. Rainbows are pretty! I put Ireland on my list of places to visit that I can’t afford, and I don’t have a passport besides.

But then a very smart science person in a Facebook group (I was on FB at the time) explained to me that genetics didn’t work that way. Just because a (not necessarily accurate) test showed my daughter with this 12% or whatever Irish doesn’t mean I have a quarter. It was a while ago though and I don’t remember the discussion cuz I guess once she said there’s no guarantee of an Irishman in my ancestry I lost interest.

But I went ahead and took my own test a while later… and yep, no Irish. Where’d my Irish grandpa go? Disappeared. 😢 At that point, one might start to look to my child’s other parent for the Irish connection, but let’s just not. There is no Irish there. It’s either in my genes or nowhere. We began to accept that the Irish part of her result was an error.

However! Ancestry is continually updating its database. As more people submit their DNA, the methodology gets more accurate, and they tweak your profile from time to time. The last time I peeked in, relatively recently… not only had they pinpointed my Ohio family with greater geographical precision, but also they threw some Irish on me. Just a wee bit, but I was wearin’ the green in mah genes!

I know, I know. Who cares? It’s fun though. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I thought all genealogy research was stupid. You hang out with people you love and who act like they give a damn about you, and… that’s it. Why does it matter who your third cousin twice removed is if you never talk to her? Who GAF about 100 year old newspaper clippings, bah! But now… as I’m close to finishing up my 50s, I’m getting all mushy about connectedness. Family ties. All that. My aunt sent me a totally awesome book full of family stuffs and I’m really digging it. When I was younger I wouldn’t have been interested, but…

Things change. ✨

~*~

Image from the Bitmoji app.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

5 Things (That I Like About Me)

Sadje shared a nice meme from Cyranny: #5Things she likes about herself. It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves, especially now at the beginning of a new year when we want to start fresh and accomplish so much, but it’s important to be good to ourselves too. Don’t worry, there are lots of other people ready and willing to tear us down. If you don’t believe me, try going on a dating site.

Here are #5Things I like about me (YMMV):

1. That I’ve quit smashing my head into a brick wall–I mean dating. I’ve quit dating! This has decreased the drama level in my life to practically zero, which makes me happy. I am not an adrenaline addict. 🌹

2. That I’m resilient. Sometimes I get really down and think there’s no way out from a depressing spiral of whatever nature, but I’m eventually always okay and I adapt to changes. 👍🏻

3. That I enjoy my own company. This gives me the freedom to stay home often and work or write or read without feeling lonely and sad, and that in turn allows me to accomplish more goals. 🐱

4. That I’m open minded to new info. This is something everyone says, but few actually are, in my experience. I’ve changed my mind about many issues, or modified my positions, and will continue to do so until I die. That’s called learning and growth. ✨

5. That I never jeopardized my job for a man. Thank God, some molecule of sense kept me from doing that back when I was tempted by this idiot or that one. They’re all gone, and the job abides. 💖

This was a great exercise! Really made me think, instead of rattling off silliness. I hope Sadje continues the #5Things prompt with other topics. 🙂

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ56: Drive Me Crazy

Fandango provocatively asks…

What’s something you consider to be terrifying that you have come to accept as a fact of life?

It’s probably not going to surprise anyone who knows me when I say driving. This is not an irrational fear. Let’s begin with some data.

The U.S. leads the way (rah!) on traffic fatalities. We have 12.4 per 100,000 population, about 50% higher than other Western nations. (source) Check that link for some reasons why.

Daily, I see people running red lights. Not once in a while… daily. I never see a cop chase after them, not once. Red light cameras have mostly been taken away due to cost and also there was concern they were causing more accidents (like the way Trump “caused” the Iranians to shoot down their own plane).

People speed and change lanes unsafely because… well, it’s all about them. They assume everyone else is paying close attention to the road. And whatever they have to do is more important than being safe. If they’re late, well, now that becomes our problem. God forbid people learn to leave enough time for appointments.

They tailgate because they are late and they are frustrated. Driving unsafely makes them feel better, I guess. Or they’re just not paying attention because they’re texting, chatting, eating, daydreaming, whatever. Or their judgment is impaired from drugs or stupidity or lack of sleep. Then there are the drivers who are armed, ready to shoot you over who knows what…

So, I “share” the roads with these maniacs and idiots and rage-filled criminals and hope every day not to die or get mangled in a car wreck. In 2018, about 40,000 people died in vehicle crashes ~ forty thousand (source) ~ not to mention all the injuries.

It’s weird how we’re supposed to be scared of molesters hiding behind trees in the park and bad dudes sneaking across the border to steal our lunches, but me… I’m terrified of driving, and yet I accept it as a fact of life here in Southern California. If you live in an area with great public transportation and don’t have to drive, consider yourself lucky!🍀

~*~

Image from Fandango himself.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Supplemental Peeve! 😡

I already wrote today’s peeve last week and it went live at 4am today, but as I read the replies to Dr. Tanya’s post about posting, I am feeling the need to peeve again! And I can’t wait a whole week, I’m sorry. There are times, my friends, when our peeves must be let out of their cages at once, or else… or else… idk what. BAD THINGS. 😱

Dr. Tanya asks…

1. How long are your blog posts on average?

They are exactly as long as they need to be.

2. Given the option, would you rather post long form or short form content?

I would “rather” post as many words as I need to per post until I am done ranting about whatever thing, or a piece of flash fiction is finished, or a poem has reached the end.

3. Time is short and the attention spans of social media users shorter still, why do you think the search engines prefer longer content?

My guess is that short posts are the tool of spammers and other annoying folks who like to fling out links to news articles sans commentary just so other bloggers will visit their sites and they’ll get ad click revenue. I’m pleased to learn that search engines are trying to thwart this nonsense.

Also, time is no shorter than it ever was, fyi. An hour still has 60 minutes in it; a day contains 24 hours as it always has. Not only that, but we now have a zillion things to save us time… who churns their own butter or takes their clothes to the river to wash them anymore? Okay then.

Am I supposed to care what my readers prefer? Well, my active readers seem to like and comment on whatever silliness I write.

Thank you! ❤️✨🤩

As far as everyone else, pffft. Like it or lump it, as a famous philosopher once said.

~*~

Image credit to Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Ten Year Report

Di of Pensitivity101 tagged me for this introspective challenge. I’ll begin with the high points of the past 10 years, followed by the low, and then answer her questions. I’m not going to tag anyone else. 🙂

High Points 2010 – 2020

In 2011, my sweet kitty Gatsby came into my life via the Orange County Animal Shelter. 😻❤️

My daughters both graduated from college (and did extremely well too), one in 2012 and one in 2015.

They also both got married to awesome guys (2017, 2019)! 💖💖

In 2018, a wonderful little granddaughter arrived! 😍✨🤩

I have published many books during these 10 years, and while they may not fly off the shelves, the fact that I have actual finished novels and other books out there gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

Low Points 2010 – 2020

My divorce was final in 2011, and while this was a necessary step, it’s still sad.

The relationship I had through my 2-year divorce process ended badly in 2011.

The entire 5-year dating debacle that followed was a depressing, and at times frightening, mess and continues to have repercussions to this day.

My dad passed in 2013 (my mom in 2008).

My cat Cocoa died in 2010 or 2011… my memory is a bit fuzzy right now. 😢

Di’s Questions

Is there any year in the past decade that stands out as the best?

-This last one (2019) ended up on a positive note because I moved into a new place with a good friend and got away from my old rundown apartment. I also spent quite a bit of time with family and friends and began writing a fun story. 🙂

Has your taste in music changed in the past ten years or do you think music in general has changed?

-I don’t listen to much new music, but in the last several years I’ve found myself liking more country and folk songs. Hard rock is a bit of a bore sometimes lately.

Are you heavier or lighter than you were ten years ago?

-I’m about the same, up maybe 2-3 pounds. But in the middle of these 10 years I was much lighter ~ I got sick from sushi (will never have it again) and could hardly eat for a month. Then a certain relationship stressed me out so much, anxiety kept my appetite away. I was 10 pounds lighter than today and so right now I feel “fat” because I liked the way I looked then. I’m hoping to get back there, but via exercise and good habits. 😇

How many cars have you owned in the past decade?

-Two.

Fun prompt! 🥳

~*~

Image snagged from Rory!

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

On Our Way [socs]

On our way… to better days. That’s what we say, pumped up with our New Year’s Goals. Like many others, I’ve vowed to get in better shape… and the parking lot at the gym is crowded now. Yes, I drive to the gym, even though it’s in my condo complex, since management can’t seem to program my electronic key to get me through the last walk-thru gate. It’s like the opening sequence to Get Smart, if you’re old enough to remember that show. But whenever I ask about the key, the person who needs to deal with it has just left for the day. 🙄

I’m trying to avoid getting raging angry about so many things (another resolution). So what if I can’t walk through to the gym? It’s not the worst thing in the world. Now, the gate closest to my apartment has quit working from the outside… that’s okay, right? They’ll fix it eventually and it’s fine to take the long way around to a different gate. More exercise! Plus, it’s not like I do everything perfectly myself… I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life too. As long as one gate works, and I can get home… like, whatever. 😜

My three words are from the chapter titled “Worth” in Jennifer Weiner’s book Hungry Heart. I don’t know why I purchased this book, except it has a picture of an upscale looking Hostess cupcake on the cover. I don’t think I’ve read any of her novels. I wanted to enjoy this book, because cupcake and also a smart and funny writer writing smartly and humorously about feeling fat and unloved… that’s so unusual! 🙃

But HH is incredibly tedious and dejavuey… like haven’t a million other smart fat girls written smartly and fatly about being smart and fat? Yawnnnn. And I find myself skimming much of Jennifer’s complaining. I loved her trip to Israel though, and how she finally decided to say eff it regarding other people’s opinions when she returned. Yeah! Who cares what people think! 😎

I thought the story would really take off from there, but no, back to yawwnville. An autobiography doesn’t have to be boring; I’ve read interesting ones. But they need to be edited, and saggy sections should be cut. Am I going to abandon it? No, I’ll probably skim the rest, so I can get credit for it on Goodreads. And I remain hopeful that there is something more to it I can enjoy, since I did get totally immersed in the one section. 🤩

Speaking of saggy things, exercise makes you hungry. If you burn up 100 calories on a bike, your brain will say hello time for a vat of pasta. And you can say no brain we are having a sensible scoop of tuna and some yummy crisp veggies. But our brain is sulking and plotting on how to trip us up. It’s not about being a “good” person or a “bad” person; we all come from a long line of people who avoided starving to death when there was very little food. Yay us and our superhero metabolisms. 😜

I see I forgot to finish this post Friday night and schedule it at 4am Saturday because I’ve been obsessed with watching Jeopardy on Netflix this week (not the GOAT thing, but catching up from last year). When I got home at 10, I turned on the TV, forgetting all about blogging. That’s unusual for me, but these are strange times. 😳

Luckily, I woke up earlier than God… and the first thing I thought of was yikes I didn’t post for SOCS! 😱

~*~

Image credit to Shelley Krupa.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Mysterious Me

The lovely Sadje was recently given the Mystery Blogger Award ~ congrats! She in turn passed it on to me. Thank you, Sadje!

I will answer Sadje’s questions, which will ironically strip some of the mystery from my blogginess. 🙃

1. What is your strategy for dealing with stress?

Avoidance mainly. I’m really terrible at and scared of dealing with stressful situations. But if something does happen I try to focus on one thing at a time so I can get through whatever it is without going bonkers.

2. If tomorrow were the last day, what would you do first?

Check in with my children. 💖

3. How would you describe yourself as a color and why?

Turquoise. Sometimes peaceful, sometimes turbulent. Can be dark, deep, depressed. Can also be light, fun, sparkling. Like the waves, I’m moody, calm, crashing, and reliable… and I might have loved the moon once, a long long time ago.

4. Physical beauty or intelligence?

Intelligence.

5. Do you believe that Murphy is trying to mess up our day?

I believe we notice the things that go wrong because they’re so annoying. We take for granted all the things that go right, every person who does their job properly, every piece of technology that operates smoothly. We are barely even grateful for competent folks and our wonderful conveniences. We expect them. But let one jerk slow us up in traffic and an app glitch on our phones and our day is all screwed up… geez everyone is out to get us, aren’t they? RAWR!

Speaking of, please be on the lookout for my Monday Peeve in a few hours! 😻

~*~

Images for public use.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Caramel Crunch: Topic 1, Faraway Love

Caramel has a new prompt, in which she sets up a hypothetical situation and then asks us to discuss what we would do. Here is her first topic…

WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH – WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

You realize that you have met someone who makes your pulse race, and who you love, admire and respect more than anyone else you have met. The two of you enjoy a romantic friendship and grow closer and closer. Love and trust build. But then…

…he or she goes home. Their visa has expired. They return to their home in a distant country. In their home country, they have responsibilities, they own a property, they have aging parents who need more assistance.

You accept that the person you are in love with had to go home. You miss them and they miss you. You both keep in touch regularly. But you also have family, responsibilities and a world of friends who you love in your home country.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Are you a great romantic? Or are you more practical in your outlook? Does family come before your lovelife? Or when love comes along, do you cling to the person you have fallen in love with?

I have given up “dating” in the sense of deliberately searching for someone suitable nearby because that hasn’t worked out well for me at all, so I could imagine a situation like this developing out of a friendship that inadvertently turned into love. But I’m not good at sadness and longing ~ that would quickly overwhelm my abilities to function at other things, like working and paying bills. So, unless there was some wisp of hope that my soul mate would return, I think I would have to emotionally disengage and taper off the messages with my sweetie. It would be important to protect myself from sinking into depression even if it meant cutting off communication with him, or at least a lot of it, so I could heal and move on. 😢

I’m not 100% sure about this… maybe I could continue to enthusiastically write and text message and chat on the phone, keeping the spark alive, if I were confident my sweetie still felt madly in love with me. Maybe. But I suspect I would be consumed with despair over never being able to see him, and our convos would end up being mainly about how sad we were. Or, if he was happy without me and his life was filling up with other stuff, then I’d think, huh, I shouldn’t be thinking about him all the time either cuz clearly he is getting over me. 🙃

Paradoxically, I’d want him to be happy, and I would encourage this. I might even encourage him to date because it would be horribly selfish to say okay I can never see him again so therefore he should be lonely forever. And if he were a good person (as opposed to the men I usually choose), he’d say the same to me. At this point (seeing others, or having the freedom to do so), it would be hard for me to feel as emotionally bonded to him. As soon as I suspect a man might be interested in another woman, my interest in him drops to zero, which is a huge reason why those dating apps didn’t work for me. You’re supposed to flirt with multiple people at once and be cool with the fact that they are doing the same. 😝

Now that I’ve “talked it out,” I believe all roads in this hypothetical crunch lead to ending things with Mr. Long Distance. 💔

~*~

Image from Caramel.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

New Year’s Questions

I’ve been double-tagged! 🥳 Yep, both Sadje and Rory tagged me to answer the NYQ’s that are going around Blogville. Thanks for thinking of me! 🥰 I’m happy to answer the questions, but I’m not going to tag anyone else.

1. If you could celebrate the New Year anywhere, where would it be?

I celebrated the New Year by going for an early walk in Huntington Beach Central Park. It was beautiful.

2. What is your favorite snack food for New Year?

I began the New Year right by not having snacks.

3. Have you ever kept a New Year’s resolution? If so, what was it?

l kept today’s ~ exercised, ate right, worked, wrote, cleaned, did laundry, etc. Tomorrow should be another good day too.

4. What do you want to do with your blog next year?

I’m happy with my blog the way it is.

5. Do you prefer a big party or a small gathering to celebrate? 

I like staying home with my kitty on New Year’s Eve. Too many drunks on the roads. As far as New Year’s Day, I celebrated by getting stuff done on my to-do list, lol.

~*~

My favorite New Year’s Memory…

Staying up all night to chat with a new man I connected with on a dating site. That was fun. I miss chatting with people who live far away and don’t expect to meet anytime soon or even ever, but love to talk just because. No agenda other than to exchange written words. Those are my kind of peeps.

We did meet though, months later, after chatting daily. It was a bit disappointing.

~*~

Images from Bitmoji me.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

2020 🥳✨💖

I am my own gaslighter;

I sabotage my dreams;

I whisper insults in my ear;

And dismantle my best themes.

But this time I refuse to yield

To my old self-doubting threat;

I begin to set my sights on stars

And I’ll have my best year yet!

~*~

Image from the Happy Color app.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.