Tag Archives: misc noms

Sunday at the Maul [rantish]

Yesterday, after having a fabulous pizza lunch with my dear friend at a lovely restaurant literally a few steps from my apartment, I had the bright idea to go shopping at South Coast Plaza. Let me explain! I reasoned that all the exciting deals would be starting on dreadful Black Friday, so I could browse in peace the weekend prior to the madness.

Wrong! Wrongety wrong wrong wrong. I can admit when I’m wrong, and man I was wrong with a side helping of wrongola.

But once I was there and had been driving around for 15 minutes looking for parking, I wasn’t about to change my mind and give up. Nope. At first, I searched the lanes methodically, banking on my good parking karma as a considerate driver, but that got me nowhere, so then I cruised around haphazardly until I found an empty space, which happened to be at the butt-end of Saks, but hey… good exercise, amirite?

After entering the maul itself, I made a beeline (whatever that is) for the spot all the way on the opposite side where I had a vague memory my favorite baby store Gymboree used to be located. Yay, it was still there! Boo, it didn’t have anything I liked. But Baby Gap was right next door, hurrah! They had a super cute outfit! But no matching booties. What? Can’t buy a footless baby outfit sans matching sox! The horror.

I readjusted my bearings to the shambles of the reality of the maul and the fact that I’d have to navigate it. Good gawd it was stuffed with people! So many people. There was a snow house dealio, so naturally all the people with kids needed to pose around there. It was too crowded for me to see if a Santa lurked within. People without kids were also posing. Selfie time! Not me, obviously. Ever since I quit Facebook and Instagram, I’m amazed at how few selfies and pics of food I actually need.

I made a silent vow: I would not leave the maul sans my holiday gifts. No way was I enduring this torture without a payoff. I didn’t need that many, mostly just the baby stuff. Eventually, I found it at Macy’s, which was having the most incredible pre-sale sales, even for those of us lucky enough not to be burdened with the misfortune of having a Macy’s credit card (world’s worst T&C’s).

I was going to regale y’all with the side story of how I managed to find the ONE THING not on sale at Macy’s: a black bra. But this poast is already so long no one in their right mind is going to read it. Not to mention I have two prompt words left here on my Post-It and I need to use them, but they don’t go with a bra at all.

On the way out, I just happened to pass the jewelry department and discovered that some of their sterling silver was 75% off. Now, this was just crazy! I began to look at the earrings and found a pair with created opals. I used to be turned off by the idea of “fake” stones, but now I think they’re not only better deals than genuine stones but more ethical purchases besides. Anyway, these lil opals were soooo colorful and sparkly, and now only $10! So, I bought myself a treat. I don’t consider a bra a treat. That’s more like… tires.

Okay then. Done with the maul for another year or 10. So much nicer to order online or go to cute little shops that are out of the mainstream.

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Mugging It Up

Mugs. I like mugs, OKAYYYY? Mugs are great, and not just for the obvious like tea or coffee, though I am drinking coffee out of one at the mo. It may sound like lunacy, but I like having soup and cereal in a mug (not together, derp) ~ much neater than a bowl. I also like ice cream in a mug, especially if it’s trysting with Bailey’s. Mmmbailey’s.

I like unique mugs, such as the ones pictured above. Two are from my daughter: the giraffe in the back and the Chicago one from a HS trip (it has a grammatical error though, lol). The one that says “Fran” my mom bought on a vacay to New Mexico. The silly zoo one I filled with pens and whatnot was also my mom’s. I bought the pink cupcake mug on a trip to the Huntington Gardens in San Marino. I also have a few boring but serviceable mugs that came with my set of dishes from Target.

Note that we’re not talking about dainty lil teacups you set out with fancy cookies for when the duchesses come to visit. Pffft. We’re talking mugs, people.

You might think that 10 mugs is enough for a person who lives alone like a hermit, but I don’t. I asked for more for Christmas (Chanukah really, but I wanted to use the prompt).

So, there you have it. Mugs! 😜🤪🙃

Rolling on a River [SOCS]

Roll does make me think of “rolling on a river” from “Proud Mary,” a song I love. But I also think of rolls, like the kind you eat warm with butter, not that I do much of that. I hardly eat any bread these days, just some boringly healthy whole wheat for the occasional snadwich, not that I’m doing paleo gawd no, but I try to avoid it because eh. Bread. So high in cals & carbs. I love the group Bread though… didn’t I mention that already recently? Those songs break my heart. “If the world should stop revolving…” Kills me. Dead. And there was that line in Young Frankenstein about rolling in the hay, which was hilarious… and I said I was going to rewatch YF at Halloween but I didn’t. I just haven’t been into movies lately. I do want to see Bohemian Rhapsody though. And Mary Poppins. I thought I might talk about role play, but it would just be talk, IYKWIMAITYD.

Yeah, I didn’t do troll and droll and proletariat. Whatever dudes. I’m tired. 😜

Many Are Called…

A thousand and twenty-seven thanks to the lovely Blokey Guy for nominating me for a Liebster and for coming up with a set of clever questions. I am going to attempt to answer these while waiting in the jury pool at OC Superior Court. Hopefully my battery will last and I won’t get interrupted to listen to some pesky case.

RULES

Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award. ✅

Answer 8 questions that the blogger gave you. 🆗

Give 8 random thoughts about yourself. ⚠️

Nominate 8 other bloggers and notify them of their nomination. ❌

Ask your nominees 8 questions. 🌀

Questions for Me

1. Are you happy with the person:
i] You are
ii] You were
iii] You think you will become?

I’m okay with who I am now and I’m always trying to do better (by my standards). Going by the past six months, I’m encouraged with my progress, in particular exiting FB and devoting more of my free time to real writing instead of pointless jabber.

***

2. How many colours can you see in the image below, list them in detail.

stones-3565221_960_720.jpg

Zillions! Heliotrope, lavender, amber, shamrock, black, mauve, azure, turquoise, stone, violet, magenta, white, spring green, rust, burnt sienna, etc.

***

3. Is there anything within five feet of where you are currently typing that is a permanent feature and motivates you to explore your mind deeply?

No. I’m in a huge room, full of prospective jurors, and around me are chairs and tables that could easily be moved.

***

4. How many vices do you have and of them which are your worst?

This may sound conceited, but I’ve pretty much eliminated all vices from my life over the past couple years. The worst thing I do is not get enough exercise.

***

5. How curious are you to new discoveries, and first time experiences even if they are possibly dangerous or risky for you to try? As in will you try them, or make an excuse not to?

I avoid risk as much as possible, though I still have to drive a car in SoCal. I don’t need to make excuses to get out of trying dangerous things ~ I just say no.

***

6. If you answered No Way to question 5, what prevents you from doing so?

Migraines, back pain, finances.

***

7. If you answered YES Please to question 6, what motivates you to take those risks?

N/A

***

8. What type of song do you think our banjo player here is playing? Provide a link to what you think it might be as your answer to this question.

musician-349790_960_720

https://youtu.be/w_lCi8U49mY

***

My Random Thots, in which New Questions are Hiding🐍

6. I’m reading Incognito by David Eagleman and it’s fascinating. What book has fascinated you lately?

2. I may have the slightest touch of synesthesia because I perceive numbers physically, sort of as a quilt. What do you perceive differently from “normal?”

4. I used to have eidetic memory, though it was never perfect. It’s faded with age (as it’s supposed to) but occasionally happily surprises me. Do you have any tricks to help you remember things?

7. A bowl of mac & cheese costs $8.50 in the court cafeteria here, which is ridonkulous, so I bought a protein bar instead. But now I haz a craaaaving! What are you craving?

1. I gave up Facebook this year. A complete and total FEXIT (including Instagram & Messenger). What unhealthy habit have you recently dumped, or are working on giving up?

3. At the beginning of the day, a funny guy described how it would be to work on a Grand Jury and now I wanna do that for a year (or more, if allowed) when I retire. What new experience has suddenly grabbed your attention?

8. I’m happy that my daughter and her fiancé are driving down from NorCal in December and the whole little fam will be together for a few days. Do you have any special plans coming up?

5. I think Gatsby is the cutest kitty ever. Do you agree? Yes or duhhh?

Now for the tricky tagging part. Pay very close attention! Since I’m doing my civic duty and waiting in the jury pool here all day long, in honor of that, and our Constitutional Rights, every blogger reading this who has a J in any part of their real name or their bloggy name… is hereby tagged. J for Jury, hurrah!

Triplets

Name three things – via the Blokey Guy:

You can dunk in tea or coffee?

– Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, PB cookies. Tea only though – who dunks things in coffee? Psychos!

You can enjoy at a carnival?

– Sense of superiority, rolling my eyes, finally finding my car.

You can’t enjoy when it’s windy?

– Talking, walking, driving.

Your body can’t do?

– Run much, push-ups, pull-ups.

You don’t learn at school?

– Hot-wiring, lock-picking, safecracking.

You can put onto a pizza?

– Coconut, M&Ms, caramel.

You can eat with?

– Phone, laptop, TV.

You don’t suggest you do at home blindfolded?

– Text an ex, stand naked at the window, sharpen my knives. Especially not all three at once!

That are important to you?

– Sumatriptan, Topamax, Advil.

That you love to do at the beach?

– Leave, depart, skedaddle.

That you do in the morning?

– Grab phone, look at news, go omg what a lying shithead!

That you every time you log in to your blog?

– I use the app, so I’m never logged out, lol, but generally I check notifications first, then mosey through the reader for a bit, and lastly drag an idea out of my brainpan for a poast. 😜

I Put the Lie in Liebster

Big thanks to Kristian for the award! Loved his answers. 😀

RULES

  • Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award
  • Answer 11 questions that the blogger gave you
  • Give 11 random thoughts about yourself
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and notify them of their nomination
  • Ask your nominees 11 questions

The origins of this award are as follows:

“This award is meant to encourage new bloggers. From The Global Aussie: “The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011.  Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.”  The award initially focused on bloggers with less than 2000 followers, but as its popularity increased this number has gone down to 200.”

My questions from Kristian:

  1. If someone were to make a film/movie about your life, which actor would you like to play you? Joan Cusack. People have said we look alike, and maybe I’d get an intro to John.
  2. If you had to stand up and sing a song at Karaoke what song would you choose? Already tried to sing Bang Bang with someone and goofed it all up.
  3. If you received a plane ticket through the post that could take you absolutely anywhere in the world, where would you go? Back to NorCal to visit my family.
  4. You are trapped in a mountain hut in a snowstorm. You have all the food and drink you need but there is no TV. What books would you like to have with you? All the romances I haven’t read. But nothing scary if I’m trapped!
  5. If you could go back in time and meet someone from history who would it be? Whoops! Couldn’t decide and then forgot to answer. I’ll just put Emily Dickinson.
  6. You arrive home after a long day and the magic elves have cooked/prepared your favourite meal, what is it? Sautéed mushrooms over wilted greens and lovely fresh seafood pasta.
  7. Someone pulls out in front of you on the motorway, makes you slam your breaks on, then speeds off. What would you like to happen to them? Ticket for speeding and reckless driving. I know that sounds boring, but if people were actually penalized properly, things would get better on the roads and we wouldn’t have to hate each other and be so stressed.
  8. What burning question that I didn’t ask would you like to answer? How many words am I up to in NaNoWriMo ~ 7674

Eight is the new 11, yayyy! Thanks Kristian for not going up to 11!

Eight random things about me then:

1. My ears are significantly asymmetrical.

2. I remember names much better than faces.

3. I don’t ask/care about/remember facts about people such as age, location, job because those things bore me, but I will remember something funny they said.

4. I have written two complete, legit romance novels (available for Kindle).

5. I have done stand-up comedy.

6. I won an award in high school for being awesome at Spanish.

7. I barely remember any Spanish now.

8. I still have some Beanie Babies.

If you have fewer than 500 WordPress followers, you have now been chosen by me as a Liebster Award Recipient ~ congrats! Please follow the rules above and take my 8 random facts (8 is the new 11) and questionize them (what about you is asymmetrical, do you remember names or faces, etc.).

Happy Liebstering!

Carrot Cake Rant

I wasn’t looking for anything extraordinary, just a carrot cake recipe made with almond flour. Google, google, google. No! I do not want paleo recipes made without sugar (yucky) or vegan recipes made without eggs (ick). I cleverly redid my search with minus signs in front of those words.

Why are all the recipes for two-layer cakes? My annoyance is burgeoning. I minus the word layers and put in the word sheetcake. OH PARDON ME IT’S TWO WORDS. (I left the one word here to be funny. I am funny! People have said. Many people.) A million recipes appear and each one has a list of one million ingredients each. Why do I need half a thimble of magic glitter from a hummingbird’s wing to make a FUCKING CARROT CAKE? I want to take a blunt instrument and smash my computer to bits, but I can’t because my daughters gifted it to me after I destroyed my last one.

Also, why do recipe bloggers jabber on in enormous essays before the text of their recipes? NO ONE CARES about your vacation in Chattanooga or wherever the fuck to visit Aunt Mildred. Just put that on another page along with stories about your dog and your gallbladder operation. We are only here for the recipe! That’s what we googled! And no one needs to see a macro close up photo of your pan. We all know what a pan looks like. And a spatula stuck in batter. JESUS F. CHRIST.

Okay, so maybe I need a mentor to show me how to internet. Idk. Why is it so hard to find things anymore? I can’t find good vids on YouTube these days. Recipes are a pain in the ass. The only thing that still works great ~ actually better than ever ~ are maps. Google maps. I use them constantly. Not to get anywhere, silly. Why would I want to leave my apartment? (There are people out there, gahhh!) But to have the characters in my stories go places and do things.

My NaNo protagonist has to go up to Fresno for a funeral. Then she’ll be off to Aruba and it has to sound legit. I can’t go to Aruba myself to research there personally, though if anyone has been to Aruba feel free to leave me some cool deets. No deets necessary on Fresno. I’m doing great, btw… almost 6K words, hopefully 7K by the end of the day!

I did find the almond flour sheet cake carrot cake with a normal number of ingredients, if anyone cares. I will make it soon.

Final Octolage

Here’s my last Octolage for City Sonnet’s photo challenge.

Key:
26. Jam, marmalade
27. Vivid yellows of Autumn
28. Pumpkins
29. Moon
30. Castle

I tried so hard to get Google Photos to put the doggie/Castles photo on the left so it wouldn’t get cut off, but nope. So, I’m going to break my own protocol and poast it separately because cuteness.

❤️🐶❤️

So Empowered Now, RAWR! 🐯

Thank the goddess I have been freed from the possibility of being a billionaire Mega Millions winner! I am just now discovering what a terrible burden that would have been.

First, you can’t just cash in your ticket like it was a hundred dollar winner. Oh no. You have to plan. Best to discreetly plop the thing in a safe deposit box and head over to a lawyer’s office to figure out how to stay as anonymous as possible after cashing it in. It’s not like you can go live in your normal unprotected house or apartment after your name hits the media. Are you nuts?

Second, I’d have to hire a bodyguard for Gatsby. 🐱 Everyone knows how much I love him, so he’d be an immediate catnapping target. I’d have to hire a second guard to keep an eye on the bodyguard. And a third one for the second one. Can’t trust anyone!

Third, all those relatives from back East who have forgotten I’m alive would suddenly remember. How fun that would be! Not. 😜

Fourth, I’d have to quit my job so I could deal with tax accountants and real estate investments and charitable contributions and such, but I actually like my job. And that would screw up my Social Security and 401K thingie. Annoying! 🙄

Fifth, all the handsome, eligible 50-something men who rejected me on dating sites because I’m not a fun buxom blonde ski bunny would suddenly decide I’m the most interesting woman in the world. How boring to have to crush their hopes one by one. 😂😂😂

Day after day, after all the newness settled down, I’d awaken in my luxury abode, work out in my home gym, get a massage from my personal masseuse, nosh on a delicious brunch prepared by my personal chef while gazing at the waves from my balcony… chat with my daughters who would also be living the dream… then I’d work on my novel while my rescue kitties scampered about (other people would be paid to clean up after them, natch)… have friends over later that night for board games and gourmet pizza made by my chef… it all would just be so samey same after a few decades ya know?

Like I said, I feel much more empowered now that I know my ticket was a big fat loser.

QOTD: Top Pet Peeve

Found here (via Sparks).

I try to follow poasting rules, I really do, but to me pet peeves are like potato chips: you can’t pick just one! Maybe I can limit the list to my top 5. We shall see.

1. Rude, aggressive, honking drivers. This includes tailgaters, idiots who must zoom around you only to exit, jerks who honk at you to turn right on red when it isn’t safe, etc.

2. People who wear too much perfume. 🤮

3. Disgusting selfish pigs who litter, and in particular the numpties who throw trash on the ground when the bins are right there. This, I do not understand at all and it infuriates me. 🤬

4. Any computer program or website that loads the least bit slowly just to drive me out of my freaking mind!

5. People who are going to compare items 4 and 1. Gahhh! I hate that!