My song is the beautiful “Tupelo Honey” by Van Morrison, and here is a gorgeous video for you, with lyrics on screen:
Fred threw the final bag onto the boat. It wasn’t all the tea in China, but it was a lot, and he’d reached the weight limit. Each burlap sack contained paper bags full of tea leaves, all bought for a fair price, in various shops along the coast. He planned to sail alone, to maximize the amount of tea he could bring, but at the last minute he’d hired a small crew member who could communicate in English.
“Where are we going?” Liane asked.
“Welp, first we sail right around all seven oceans.”
Liane gaped at him. “You’re shitting me. In this boat? I quit!”
“Okay, okay.” Fred tried to calm her down. He really didn’t know much about sailing. “Maybe we skip the Arctic.”
“It’ll be monsoon season in India soon.” She rolled her eyes.
“Fine,” Fred said. “We won’t go there either. Can we do five seas? That’s close enough.”
“Close enough for what?” Liane checked the rigging.
“To drop all this tea straight into the deep blue sea.”
Liane stood up straight and glared at him like a furious five foot tornado. “Why the fuck would you want to waste all this tea?”
“Because she’s as sweet as Tupelo honey.”
“Who? And what’s Tupelo?”
Fred sighed. “Just this girl who broke my heart back in college. I’ve never gotten over her. She was very sweet. And Tupelo is a city in Kansas. Supposedly the best honey comes from Tupelo. Not that I’ve ever actually had any.”
“Hang on,” Liane said. “How sweet can she be if she broke your heart? What did she do?”
“She dumped me for a rock star.” Fred’s eyes filled with tears at the memory. “I was only ever going to be a boring poetry teacher.”
“We need teachers here,” Liane said. “She sounds like a twat.”
Fred took a deep breath. “That doesn’t matter now. The important thing is to keep my vow about the tea. I always told her she was worth all the tea in China. And she was as sweet as–”
“Tupelo honey.” Liane rolled her eyes. “I get it. But hey. How about instead of doing this dumbass tea-dumping thing, we open a poetry and tea shop? My aunt has a small space we could lease. And by we I mean you. I know how to make tea though. You’ll be in charge of the poetry.”
“Hmm,” Fred pondered. “A new road to freedom?”
Okay then! I tag Jim Adams. Jim, please follow the numbered rules above with this additional instruction: use any song with the word “kiss” in it. Have fun!
PS: I see Tupelo is in Mississippi. Whatever!