Tag Archives: misc noms

Serendipizza

Saturday night I was talking about pizza with friends, which gave me a craving for pizza on Sunday when I drove up to L.A. to visit my daughter. I didn’t know what she’d planned for lunch, but it had been a long time since I had pizza, and I was definitely missing it.

After baby woke from her nap, we walked over to Pico for lunch. I assumed we were headed for the salad and burger place, but I was wrong ~ it was a pizza place! And not only that, it was make your own pizza. Well, not make your own, but choose your own ingredients. Ooh so exciting! So many choices! Macaroni and cheese pizza! What about all mushrooms? I couldn’t decide.

Finally, I just ordered the standard margherita with no alteration. It’s the one in the photo ~ and it was delicious!

The restaurant is One80 Pizzeria on Pico if anyone cares. ๐Ÿ˜€

What If… Unicorns? [fiction 515]

Brother Noah told Alph to make sure all the animals were aboard the ark. “Gotta get moving, Alph. Look at those storm clouds.”

Alph reported back shortly. “Everything is all set, Noah, except the unicorns won’t come down from the rocks.”

“They’re always so annoying. Vivian!” Noah yelled.

The sexy siren sauntered over. “Yo.”

“Please use a few of your special brownies to tempt the unicorns onto the ark. It’s starting to drizzle.”

“On it, boss.” She strutted away.

After she was out of earshot, Alph whispered to Noah, “I didn’t know she was bringing her special brownies!”

“Well, of course!” Noah clapped him on the back. “We’re going to be bored as f… heck. The rains are gonna last a while, the big guy said.”

A few minutes later, Vivian reappeared with a pair of unicorns trotting beside her. And a surprise guest!

“Look who I found lounging around with the unicorns,” Vivian said.

“Jeremiah.” Alph rolled his eyes. “Uh, we already have a poet on board. No need for more. You can wait here for our return.”

“You can never have too many poets, my friend,” Jeremiah argued. “Plus, I can’t write in the rain. It gives me a headache.”

“I think you can have too many–” Alph began, but Vivian interrupted and said, “He can share my cabin.”

Noah came around the side of the ark and grinned. “Unicorns! Alrighty then! Hello, Jeremiah, why are you here?”

“I’m the backup poet,” Jeremiah said.

“Great! I’m promoting you to Assistant Manager of Janitorial Services. The tigers need you already. They had a big lunch. Get going.”

With everyone settled in, including the happy unicorns, the ark began its floaty journey as the rains beat down upon the earth day after day, week after week, etc.

Finally, the storm ended and the waters began to recede from the lands. Noah found a safe place to dock and let the ark’s inhabitants once again roam free. Alph reclaimed his former position as CEO of Abacus, Inc. and Vivian opened a pastry shop.

Jeremiah decided he enjoyed working with big cats more than writing poetry, but a weird thing happened. Once on dry land, being around felines made him itchy and sneezy. His throat swelled up until it was hard to breathe.

“I don’t understand what difference it makes being at sea,” Vivian said as the friends got together at her shop for dessert. “Maybe there was something else about the ship.”

“At least we aren’t covered with silly unicorn glitter,” Alph said. “Now that they’re off cavorting upon the rocks again.”

“Maybe the sparkles protected Jer from tiger hives!” Vivian ran off with a handful of special brownies and a brush. She returned with a sackful of unicorn hair and glitter.

Jeremiah shrugged and rubbed the mess over himself. “Why not?”

“Let us know how it works!” Alph called after him as he ran off to see the kitties. “Hey, Viv. Got any more special brownies?”

(As it turns out, unicorns have magical properties to protect humans from that most terrible of afflictions: CAT ALLERGIES!)

~*~

Genre Challenge: Alternate History

Weekly Prompts: Orange

Wow, I didn’t think I had so many orange photos! This is a small selection of what came up in the search. ๐Ÿ˜€

Celery [SOCS]

Celery contained magical anti-calories, people thought. If you chomped on these stalks, the energy you expended chewing and digesting them would exceed the number of calories in the celery itself. So, all you had to do is eat celery all day and soon you would be celebrating your new trim and fit figure!

But of course if you kept eating pizza and nachos and milkshakes and candy bars with your stalks, the celery diet didn’t work, and you did not end up looking like your favorite celebrity, unless that celeb was President Taft. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Many crazy diets have come and gone since I read about the magic of celery as a teen. Some girls in my high school went on the 3-3-3 diet: 3 bananas, 3 hot dogs, 3 carrots every day. Very phallic. Why doesn’t my phone know phallic? I must not be writing about enough dicks; I blame my DEXIT.

People have jumped on this keto thing, but we all did the Atkins’ fad way back when. It’s nothing new. We’d order bacon double cheeseburgers and throw away the buns, hon. Sure, you’d lose weight because meat is satisfying and pasta is not, ounce for ounce. Sorry, vegetarians. Also, how much cheese can you eat without barfing? ๐ŸคฎThat is rhetorical.

Then came the 1980s when people decided fat was bad and carbs were good. They threw away their butter and chowed down on bagels the size of dinner plates. Why are we getting so fat, they moaned over their vats of spaghetti.

In the 1990s, I watched other moms load up their kids with constant snacks and juices. I tried not to do that; I had my own ideas about nutrition. But kids grow up and have to make their own choices eventually. I did not like to be Dictator Mom, about food or any other thing, except education, and that philosophy worked out well imo.

One of the things now is to shun prepared foods. Oh, that’s the new boogeyman! ๐Ÿ™„ It’s not that we’ve all been stuffing our faces with way too much food for way too long… it’s that we’re not tra-la-la-ing for hours through farmers’ markets every Saturday for fresh produce, and then spending the rest of the weekend cooking from scratch. The heck with writing books or having hobbies! We’re fat because we haven’t been slaving over a hot stove.

Bullshit. I call BS on all ideas of overweight except one: too many calories nommed up. I don’t care if they come from salad or salami or pasta or papayas. Too many in over time leads to fat layers on our bodies. There’s no magic cure except to eat fewer calories over time.

Personally, I love packaged and prepared foods. For single people who don’t want to buy wastefully in bulk, and who don’t want to spend their free time cooking, they are fabulous. But so is celery ~ and it comes in a package too.

One-Liner Wednesday: Camping

There are many reasons why I’m an indoors person, but this struck me as especially apt. ๐Ÿป

~*~

Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday

Texture [CFFC]

Can you imagine the flaky texture of the coconut mingled with the sugary glazed soft yeasty donutty goodness in every bite? Mmm, this is definitely my favorite kind of donut, which I used to buy every Friday at the cafรฉ in my office building, but they no longer have them. Probably a good thing, since now I just eat a Clif bar, same as I do every other morning. Rah, boring healthy things. If any nutritionists are reading, they will proceed to lecture me on how a Clif bar isn’t really healthy because it has too many carbs and we all should be eating egg whites, kale, and grapefruit for breakfast. ๐Ÿคฎ

When my eldest and I visited Portland, OR, I had a brief flirtation with the gourmet donut phenomenon. They are tasty. We have a gourmet donut shop in Costa Mesa called Sidecar or something and I tried it. Yummy. But eventually I returned to the cheap, coconut donuts I’ve always loved. Runner-up is cinnamon crunch, which is not a plain donut dusted with cinnamon. God no. It’s a glazed donut with crunchy cinnamon nummies all over it that will crumble over your clothing and car, should you be silly enough to try to eat one while driving. I think Dunkin’ used to have them at the train station in Chicago, or else I’ve hallucinated the entire experience. I am getting old, and I’m entitled to my donut fantasies, TYVM. ๐Ÿ’–

Who Doesn’t Love Pizza?

Omg, I’m composing a blog post on my laptop like a normal person! Next thing you know I’ll be washing my clothes in the river and churning butter or something. It must be all this old-fashioned music… no actually I’m downloading the latest phone update and it’s taking forever. So annoying.

Anyway, I googled up love songs from the 1950s and lyricists were back to being all serious again, cuz luuuuuv is indeed serious business, but then I found one of my all-time faves, written for Dean Martin in 1953 by Jack Brooks and Henry Warren. The story behind it is almost as funny as the song itself.

Without further ado, I present… “That’s Amore!” In case you’re confused about amore, or any of the song lyrics, this vid provides very detailed illustrations. It’s hilarious!

V4L Challenge 5

A Day in the Life of Cupid

When we last left our intrepid hero, he’d been comforting his girlfriend at the hospital on Valentine’s night after buying her drugstore candy with nuts in it to which she was allergic. But now it’s back to work for Cupid. He’s Project Manager at Love, Inc. and his days are hectic. Today is no exception.

Cupid arrived at his office early at 8am, hoping to get a bunch of work done before the crew came in. He’d bought an egg and cheese muffin and a large coffee to fuel himself up for the tasks ahead.

First, he remembered to text his girlfriend and ask her how she was feeling after the candy ordeal last night. She didn’t respond right away, but that was probably because she was busy at work too. They’d only had two dates so far, plus the funny hospital mishap, but Cupid had a good feeling about their potential. Chantal was a really sweet, understanding person.

Just as Cupid started to plow through his pile of unread emails, the head arrower stopped by his desk.

“Sorry to bother you, boss,” the HA said. “But I thought you should know that the new batch of arrows are at least twenty percent defective. The rest of the crew is experiencing the same.”

“Darn it!” Cupid said. “I recommended we stay with Universal Arrow, but was overruled because they wanted to cut costs.”

The HA nodded. “These are definitely inferior.”

“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll make a report.” Great, thought Cupid. Another task for the to-do list. But this one was high priority.

Cupid shot off a report about the defective arrows to his Operations Director and then returned to his other tasks. But he was soon interrupted again.

“Excuse me,” one of the new arrowers said. “But I ran into a problem on Valentine’s Day. My target was hit again an hour later because she hadn’t disappeared from the list. The same thing happened three more times with different targets as I discovered just now when I compared notes with a coworker.”

Cupid’s naturally calm and cheerful demeanor faded into anger. He realized immediately this was due to yet another boneheaded cost-cutting measure some of the Directors had insisted upon. His Director was a good guy, but had voted in favor of the measures regardless in hopes of getting concessions from the other Directors in return. “Politics,” he had said to Cupid at the time.

Now Cupid said to the arrower, “I’m sorry that happened. It’s the new software. We’ll alert them to the problem and hopefully it can be a simple fix.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’ll tell the others. It’s really sad when we set up a promising situation and it all falls apart because of some technical glitch.”

Cupid agreed with her. He called Hearts Aflame, the new software company, and put in a help ticket with Quality Control. They promised to give his issue their fullest attention just as soon as his number came up in the queue. It was 37.

Next, he attended a luncheon seminar slash sexual harassment program that all Project Managers were required to attend quarterly. It lasted two hours and they received free chicken pesto sandwiches, sodas, and handbooks on how not to be jerks, and then they watched a movie on how to deal with any jerks on their crews. Now it was 3pm and Cupid still had at least a full day’s work left.

At 7 he decided enough was enough and went to the gym. He felt like skipping it, going home, and flopping on the sofa, but thinking about his hot new girlfriend motivated him to go. He did a quick workout, showered, and headed back to his pad. It was after 9 and he was wiped out. As he nuked a frozen burrito, his phone dinged with a new text. Chantal!

Hi, sorry to do this over text, but I’ve met someone else. Thought you should know. It just happened all of a sudden like a bolt out of the sky. Take care. C

๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”

Nothing To Write…

I don’t like any of the prompts today;

They don’t inspire me one bit.

Zenith reminds me of an old TV–

Watching Bonanza and chomping chips.

But I don’t wanna write about that,

Or a city skyline, blahhhhh;

Not interested in boring buildings,

Or some drunk hunter in camouflage.

What of a glamorous heretic,

Screaming philosophy in Vera Wang?

Hmm, maybe some other day,

This morning it just ain’t my thing.

Do I even have a [favorite bird]?

Perhaps one that doesn’t caw…

You know how I feel about noise.

And what the fuck is a hoppy daw?

Rainbow Colors [CFFC]

Cee challenged us to post a photo containing at least 4 colors and I think my French toast from Mother’s qualifies. As delicious as it looks! ๐Ÿ˜€