Ideal Share [syw]

Melanie begins our August with a fresh set of Share Your World questions. Let’s get this done!

Do you ever feel more excited about getting the package in the mail, rather than the item that’s in it?

No. In fact, I’m starting to feel guilty about ordering so much stuff online because of the ridiculous amount of wasted packaging. Amazon and Target say they’ll ship multiple items together, but often this doesn’t happen and you get individual things in separate boxes. I’m going to the stores more lately for items that are easily available.

What is the difference between your ideal self and your real self? (i.e. what attribute or physical feature would allow you feel the ideal ‘you’?)

Oh, where to begin! First, my ideal self would not be in chronic pain from migraines and backaches. This would allow me to engage in more physical activity, which would (second) improve my fitness and health overall. Third, my ideal self would sleep better, which would give me more energy to be active physically as well as mentally. Ideally (fourth), I would constantly be improving my mind by appreciating great literature, art, and film, instead of lazily viewing whichever thing is the least effort. I would love to learn another language or three and also proceed with math. I would love to learn to play music! Fifth, I would do good in the world, make more of an effort to lessen my footprint on the environment, volunteer at an animal shelter, and help out at the library. I have energy for NONE of these things when I spend all my free time managing pain so I can go to work.

So no, I’m not joining the herd by saying I am okay with myself how I am. I’m not. I hate being in chronic pain and it makes me crabby and depressed and keeps me from enjoying my life and being productive in my free time. This was a particularly awful weekend.

If you found $2,000 on the ground and there were no witnesses, what would you do with it?

Nothing. Walk past it quickly before THEY show up. C’mon, we’ve all seen this movie…

Are you ever morally obliged to take action? Under what circumstances?

Yes. As in Di’s example, if we witness a child or animal left in a hot car, we must help, either by contacting the police or rescuing them directly. There are loads of other examples, but my head hurts too much to think of them. I once called the police when I heard a man screaming at a woman he was going to kill her, but it turned out it was her teenage son being a jerk and she was fine. The police thanked me though.

Please feel free to share how last week went for you. Bright or not so bright spots?

Horrible. Every day was/is a struggle to deal with migraine issues. It’s not only the pain, though that’s miserable enough, but also I have to cope with nausea, worsened tinnitus, and balance issues. All this makes me clumsy and shaky. More than “normal” anyway, as I’m not graceful at the best of times. While I am beyond thankful for meds that work, they leave me exhausted regardless.

Aren’t you glad you asked?

~*~
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

TGIF ~ Meds, Monitors, and Murders

I’m so grateful that sumatriptan exists and that it actually knocks out a migraine every time (eventually). Many migraineurs aren’t so lucky. Some have no meds that consistently work; others get such awful migraines they can’t function. It’s rare that I’m so affected I can’t function, especially if I take meds early on during an attack. Recently, though, I did have super bad pain that I foolishly went to sleep with, sans meds. The worst of it struck in the middle of the night with the whole range of symptoms ~ light aversion, disorientation, rapidly pounding pulse, and vomiting. It took a while for the suma to work, but it finally did, and I was so thankful to the scientists who discovered that this epilepsy drug works well for some migraineurs too. I don’t know what I’d do without it. Again, today, I needed it when I woke up. Generally, I feel the worst first thing in the morning, even when I get decent sleep.

Last week, I went through the fridge and threw every salty thing away after my “bad” blood pressure reading. I also bought a BP monitor. Well, each reading I’ve had so far is in the green “good” zone, except one, which was right after coffee in the morning ~ same as the day I went to the doc’s. So that’s sorted. I guess I can stop exercising now… like I was exercising, haha. Actually, I did a few times. I would like to say that I’ve reaped side benefits from eating fresh healthy food for 10 solid days, such as better sleep and glowing skin and tons of energy, but nope. I am the exact same tired, achy person I was when I ate a frozen dinner every day and snacked on sugary crap. In any case, I’m super grateful that I don’t seem to have a BP problem… yet. Also, I love pizza and other salty things! In moderation, of course.

I recently watched Ophelia on AMC and it was fabulous. If you can watch this movie, I highly recommend it ~ the acting and the costumes are first-rate, plus I enjoy a reimagined story. (Look for next Monday’s Peeve though to find out what I think of AMC otherwise, lol.) Also, on Hulu, the second season of Only Murders in the Building is starting off fantastic! Like Fandango, I wish the whole season was available to binge. There’s nothing else I like on Hulu, so I’ll probably cancel it after Murders. Prime still seems to have the best variety of movies and tons to choose from in each category. But of course I’ll have to subscribe to HBO soon to get House of the Dragon…

I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend at home with the kitties. How about you?

~*~
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

July 4th Share [syw]

Melanie begins the July 4th week with a blast of new Share Your World questions. Let’s get started!

What do you think it means to be healthy?

This is an interesting question and I don’t really know how to answer it. Technically, I am healthy, even though my BP was up a bit at my last exam. But I never feel well. I have loads of migraines, backaches, and nights of poor sleep. Given that, I don’t consider myself particularly physically healthy. To me, that would mean not only good “numbers” but also feeling good most days, having more energy, and being able to walk/hike/dance, etc., without feeling achy and horrible afterward. Every day when I wake up, my entire body is a mass of pain until I take a hot shower and walk around the house for a bit. That doesn’t say “healthy” to me even if I look fine on paper.

Is being obsessive about someone or something a good thing?

Obsession is defined as recurrent, persistent thoughts that make you feel bad, so by definition, no. But if we think about it in the sense of being committed to a goal, then maybe it can be beneficial. You can’t really write a book without some degree of obsession; otherwise, you’ll be distracted from your work at every opportunity. You have to feel bad when you aren’t progressing with your writing in order to get motivated to continue because every day is full of possibilities to draw you away from it. I imagine the same is true for other goals that require intense focus. But being obsessed with a person is probably always a negative.

After a disagreement with your S.O., do you initiate the makeup conversation or wait for your S.O. to do it?

I do because he’ll be sulking under the bed and I miss him too much not to apologize first.

Have you ever done something incredibly embarrassing in front of a huge crowd?  Feel free to share details or not.  Some things are best left in the closet.

I don’t think so. If I have, I’ve blocked it from my mind.

What’s your sweetest memory from childhood?

Going to my grandmother’s house in Ohio and sitting on the floor all day with a pile of kittens.

~*~
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

Holiday cookies made by Diane. Wish they were here!

TGIF ~ Coconut Shrimp

This week wasn’t so great in the headache department. I had one off and on and then yesterday got slammed with a migraine. The first sumatriptan didn’t knock it all the way out, and by the evening it was super bad ~ blurry vision, nausea, unsteady on feet. I took a second one and went to sleep. Woke at 3am in horrible pain and sweating like mad (I often get hot flashes around migraines), took a Valium, got more sleep, felt a bit better. After a hot shower and a cold diet Coke, I began to feel more normal, which includes being cold for no reason.

I kept my noon appointment for a Covid-19 booster, and so far so good. The last booster made me feel awful for a whole weekend, so I am expecting the same and have made no plans. After all this, I decided I deserved a treat, so I stopped at the Coconut Truck for lunch. Normally, I’ve been a cheapskate with my lunch, but this $15 bowl was definitely worth breaking my money diet for. I didn’t even know there was a Coconut Truck!

Luckily for me, they only actually offer one coconut dish, which I had and enjoyed a lot, so I won’t need to splurge again for a while. I’m so full of yummy coconut goodness right now that I’m feeling love toward the world! Don’t worry, it will disappear soon and I’ll be back to my grumpy self, ready to write the Monday Peeve.

~*~
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

Moonglow [repost]

Happy Friday. Because I’ve had a killer migraine for 12 hours, I haven’t written a new post. This poem was posted exactly one year ago, so I’m utilizing Fandango’s Flashback Friday theme today.

This is the place, the old ones say,
Where moonglow bathes the lake,
And an unearthly shimmer shines
Beyond the towering pines.
They say a spaceship landed here,
In a dark, despairing year,
Right where the coral poppies bloom–
Bereft of sun, they thrive in gloom.
Bury your treasure, gems and gold,
And it will be increased sevenfold.
I think it’s worth a try, don’t you?
Meet you there at half past two.

~*~
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

TMP45: Perfume

Welcome to my refreshed Monday Peeve! Unburden yourself of an annoyance and you’ll feel better afterward. Or not. Complain in my comments or crab in your own post. Doesn’t have to be on a Monday. You do you.

Today’s peeve is inspired by a post from Melanie. I probably peeved about perfume before I refreshed my blog, but I no longer have access to the deleted posts, and who says I can’t repeat a peeve anyway? There are an extremely small number of perfume/cologne scents I enjoy, in small amounts, but most are awful and the worst thing is to be trapped in an elevator or room with someone soaked in scent. I’d rather deal with their BO honestly. That’s gross, but it isn’t a migraine trigger the way heavy musky or flowery scents are. The molecules float into my head and somehow trigger pain and nausea ~ this doesn’t make much sense to me either, but it’s a common trigger for people who suffer from migraines. Even vanilla, which is a scent I adore when it’s wafting out of a bottle of extract or floating up from a candle, literally makes me feel like I’m going to barf if someone smells like they’ve bathed in it.

One of the few benefits of the pandemic is that I’m rarely in an elevator with another person or trapped in a room with someone. Also, I don’t think I’ve been to a department store in over two years, so I’m safe from those maniacal sample sprayers.

~*~
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

Violence and Chocolate [repost]

Merry eve of Christmas eve!

I’ve been watching a lot of movies with Sharon over the last several days, mostly romcoms bought for cheap off Amazon, but also some rented classics missed over the years. We saw Fight Club last night and I must say that I am now a fan of Brad Pitt. Never liked him at the beginning when every other woman was in lust for his bod, but lately I just think he’s a good actor. That said, I had a really hard time with all the gore in this movie ~ it was just so ewwy and gross.

Yet today we watched Full Metal Jacket, which was hideously violent in the most disturbing ways ~ and I had no problem with it whatsoever. I can’t say I enjoyed FMJ, because that just sounds weird, but it was a damn good movie. I’d sort of like to figure out if there is a logical reason why the gore in FC  bothered me and FMJ did not, or if it’s just my subjective moodiness. The violence in mob movies never bothers me with one exception ~ the horse’s head. I don’t think I need to explain.

Regarding chocolate, I was totally fine all day until I had a bite of a chocolate chip cookie Sharon made and then I was immediately blasted with a migraine. It was totally obvious that there was a connection. Could have been something else in the cookie ~ oats, peanut butter, almond milk, vanilla extra, flour? I think I’m going to do the no-chocolate experiment again. I don’t even care about choccy that much, only caffeine. The headache was so bad I wished I had a shot ~ it took hours to subside from a pill. But the shots cost so much it’s ridiculous.

Anyway, cool title, no? I must get back to writing soon.

[Written in 2012.]

~*~

Image is mine.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Ramble Jamble

E.M. continues her Sunday Ramble series with new questions, this week about favorites.

1. What is your all time favorite food for any occasion?

I know I’ll surprise some peeps by not saying cupcakes or cake, but my actual favorite food anytime, for any occasion, is macaroni and cheese. It’s good for breakfast or any meal (with a veg) or as a side dish or as a snack cold straight outta the fridge. And I’m not fussy ~ the pasta does not have to be elbow macaroni, nor does the cheese need to be Kraft yellow, though I admit I am partial to original blue-box M&C, but the kind with the cheese goo in the packet, NOT the cheesy powder, which is gross. I do not care for any of the “instant” products you make in the microwave, especially since that one time I almost burned down my office building by hitting an extra zero. Yes, I have many talents. Just for the record, fettuccine alfredo counts as M&C.

2. What is your favorite season and why?

This is a complicated question. First, I don’t like the spring because of all the sad memories (marriage, divorce, Mom’s death/birthday, Dad’s death/birthday), plus it’s never as warm as you expect it to be. I sometimes put summer as my favorite because I love the heat and the long days, but OTOH I get a lot more migraines in summer, so I’m not feeling friendly toward it at the moment. For a long time, I put fall as my fave because HALLOWEEN, but eh. Ever since my eyes starting bothering me too much to wear makeup and Covid hit and etc., I haven’t been that interested in costumes and celebrations and whatnot. My grands don’t do Halloween, so there’s nothing happening in that department. Thanksgiving is fun when I see family, but the feast part is a big ick to me… I hate overeating and gaining weight.

So that leaves winter, which no one puts as their favorite, but let’s ponder that for a mo. First, since I don’t celebrate Christmas, I don’t have any shopping frenzy stress nor any obligation to cook and/or eat a giant pile of food. If I spend the day with friends, it’s pretty low-key and fun and involves playing board games, so that’s awesome. Second, the days STOP getting shorter around December 22 and go the other way, so that is also great, plus for some reason sunsets are fab in winter. Third, there’s a brand shiny New Year to look forward to, sometimes a party (with board games, natch), and Valentine’s Day to commiserate about with other terminally single peeps. Finally, it doesn’t get THAT cold here in SoCal, but it’s chilly enough to wear corduroy pants, a cozy sweater or three, and boots, which I love. I’m liking winter! It’s my new fave season!

3a. Where is your favorite hiding spot when you want to not be bothered by anyone or anything? If you do not have a special place, make one up.

I don’t need to hide. I’ve arranged my life so that I have a peaceful place to live and a nice office to work in, so unless I’m driving (ick, awful, horrible), things are pretty nice for me daily as far as not being overly bothered by other people. If I had to escape, I’d just go in my bedroom with Gatsby and shut the door.

3b. Pick three of your most favorite colors and tell me why you love them.

I didn’t see this question in the original prompt, but some bloggers are answering it instead of 3a, so I’ll go along like a sheep (baaaa!). My three favorite colors, in order, are turquoise, violet, and candy pink. Close seconds are lime green and sunflower yellow. Why? I don’t know. They make me feel happy like I’m on a tropical island lounging in the sun with a piña colada by my side and a Jimmy Buffett cover band playing nearby.

4. Who is your favorite person on the planet?

This is a four-way tie among my two daughters and my two grandchildren.

5. What is your most favorite personality trait in other people?

Kindness. All the other good traits derive from this one, such as honesty (but not brutal honesty), loyalty, generosity, and the ability to listen, empathize, offer help, receive help, etc. Being funny, smart, etc., are fine traits, but kindness is number one.

~*~

Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Turkey Week Share [syw]

Melanie whips up a fresh batch of questions…

1. What are some red flags to watch out for in daily life?

Mine are literally the triggers that will cause red-hot, stabby migraine pain, such as alcohol, yucky smells, big noise, lack of sleep, drama/stress, etc., or doing dumb things that will worsen my back issues. I have to stay mindful so I don’t end up hurting myself.

2. What obstacles would you include in the “world’s most amazing obstacle course”?

I’d start with some simple math that most people fail at, then maybe a spelling/grammar test (ditto), and finish off with some logic problems.

3. Who is the best movie or book villain in your opinion? (‘book’ is included because some folks don’t watch movies)

Tony Soprano! As I wrote the other day, he was such a good bad guy because of his positive qualities. He loved animals, he adored his children, and he was funny. He had to negotiate the “normal” marriage and parenting problems while running a mob, not to mention the anxiety issues stemming from his mother’s behavior and other family/work stresses, which caused him to visit a psychiatrist regularly. Sometimes you’d forget that he was a cold-blooded murderer, lol. And even when he killed someone, he was very careful to get the right person and have valid reasons for the hit, unlike some of his friends who killed on a whim. Overall, The Sopranos remains my favorite show of all time.

4. What, in your opinion, is the most beautiful/handsome part of your face? (no dissing yourself please, we’re all beautiful/handsome!)

My hazel eyes are pretty, though they get tired and itchy too often lately.

5. Next week on Thursday, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. What are some foods you enjoy for your festive celebration dinners? (Doesn’t have to be Thanksgiving, as I realize the whole world isn’t participating in ‘our’ holiday)

First, I’m not a turkey fan, especially hot turkey. I can tolerate thin-sliced lunchmeat turkey in a sandwich with coleslaw to disguise the taste, but I vastly prefer chicken. My daughter is making pesto chicken for us Thursday, yay! Second, I dislike many of the “traditional” holiday foods, such as candied yams (so sticky and gross), mashed potatoes (so boring and a zillion calories too), cranberry sauce (ugh, heartburn!). Third, I hate eating a giant meal with dessert and feeling full and disgusting. There’s simply no reason for this, when we can spread out the noms over a day or a period of days.

So here are my favorite foods that are semi-traditional for my little fam around holiday season: pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin pie (with a graham cracker crust), mushroom stuffing, baked sweet potatoes, orange-cranberry muffins or bread, spinach salad with cranberries/walnuts/feta cheese/vinaigrette (note I don’t hate cranberries, just the gross sauce), and brie cheese baked in pastry (so so so good). I love latkes for Chanukah too ~ and I am on the applesauce side in the great war between applesauce and sour cream. Chocolate gelt candy from See’s is delicious as well. And though I don’t “celebrate” Christmas, I will never turn down a buttery Christmas cookie or a Reese’s peanut butter candy tree. Mmm…

~*~

Image from Pixabay.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Coinkydinks in Fiction [repost]

I’m not a fan of multiple coincidences. It boggles my suspension of disbelief, and contrary to how I may appear with my scoffing at magic/miracles, etc., I really am quite willing to S my B for a book or a movie. I have no issue with magic or the supernatural if it’s written well ~ I’ve loved a lot of silly books and movies that hinge on the most ridiculous of premises. Because entertainment!

I was up early today (like crazy early) and watched a movie. I have found that if I wake in the middle of the night with a headache and go back to sleep, I will be guaranteed a migraine at 6AM, but if I get up, take aspirin, drink water or cola, I can sometimes get rid of it. Naturally, I’ll be exhausted by mid-afternoon, oh well. The movie I watched was In Lieu of Flowers, sort of a romcom, but mostly about the grief process after a romantic partner has died or whatever.

The protags, Eric and Rachel, meet at a grief-support group. OK. But then it turns out Eric’s doctor is Rachel’s father. This is totally unnecessary. But even worse is when E&R encounter each other in the waiting room. Think about that. How many doctors there are and how many patients each doctor has. What are the odds, IN NEW YORK CITY, of you and your romantic interest having the same doc? Then the odds of you both having appts on the same day about the same time? Boggle.

Of course, there’s the usual stupid thing of having people with ordinary jobs in NYC somehow managing to live in fabulous places. I suppose Rachel, a second grade teacher, has doctor-dad subsidizing her BEACH HOUSE, but we never get the scoop on Eric’s financial sitch. Whatever. It was just a fluff movie. For a supposedly broken person, Rachel always manages to look continually gorgeous and smile at every strange man, even a drunk on the subway.

I understand that everything can’t be a masterpiece. It’s fine. I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately. Or should I say starting them. I don’t finish most. I did get to the end of In Lieu because I had nothing else to do.

Writing fiction? Seems unfathomable to me these days, like chasing a blow-up raft that’s floated out to sea. I sort of still see it bobbing out there, but it’s so far away, and I’m tired. I write some poetry though because that’s all language and emotion. I don’t have to grind out sentences and dialog and worry about where it’s going and the point of it all.

No point.

[Written in 2015 and have written more fiction since.]

~*~

Image source unknown.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.