Tag Archives: language

Word Play [flash 97]

Scrabble

“Fifty points, ha!” Emma chortled exuberantly.

Qi?” Trevor said. “That’s not a word.”

Emma pushed the Scrabble dictionary at him. “Is too. Look it up. But if you lose the challenge, you lose your turn.”

“Fine, take your points,” Trevor huffed. “But I’m googling it anyway. Oh geez, Chinese life force, usually spelled c-h-i. No wonder I didn’t know it. That’s not a normal English word.”

“Trev, you can’t cling forever to your old-fashioned ideas of what’s normal. Qi is a perfectly cromulent word.”

Trev rolled his eyes and played “bitch,” but it was worth only 12 points.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 61

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the TMP tag, link back to me (or not), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen. I have feelings!

I know what you’re thinking: Paula probably doesn’t have any peeves after this great weekend. Wrong! I always have a peeve (though I apologize for last week’s bailing on the post due to migraine, which is a peeve in itself). This week’s peeve has to do with politics, but it is definitely not the usual. I am pleased as punch (not sure what that means, but it’s a good thing) that Senator Harris will be our Vice President soon, making history as the first woman, first Black, and first Indian-American to hold that office. And she is from California… and her husband Doug Emhoff will not only be our first Second Gentleman, but he received his undergrad degree at Cal State Northridge same as me. He also was born in NY and lived in NJ before moving to California as a young person. And he’s Jewish. We’re like twins! Except for my 9-year layover in Illinois.

Back to peevery. My little peeve is with the media who incessantly refer to Senator Harris as the first woman VP. What? I hate when people use “woman” as a modifier. It’s a noun, same as man. Do we say man VP? Man nurse? Man teacher? No, we do not because that sounds all kinds of wrong. We say male. Likewise, we should be using “female” in those descriptions of a woman.

Kamala Harris will be our first female Vice President. Ah. That sounds so great!

HallChall12: Skeleton

scary skeleton

Graveyard Shift

Harold and I played Hangman whenever the computer went down. We’d form our linear skeletons on the backs of garbage printouts, sometimes adding fingers and toes to make the game last longer. When the analysts arrived, rumpled and muttering, we’d keep on playing as they typed in secret codes and yawned. We pretended not to listen as they devised new evacuation plans. Soon they’d tramp upstairs, arguing about the Redskins, and we’d drink pale, watery chocolate in that cool, grey-tiled basement. If they didn’t bring the system up, we’d play all night, plucking colorful, exotic words from the marshy reaches of our minds. Once, Harold kissed me by the printer and his warm breath swept my lips like feathers. As I moved away, the empty screens glowed like dark emeralds.

[originally written in 1989]

Halloween challenge

Riffin’ [MLM]

MLM

I never cared much for Neil Young’s voice (kinda whiny), but I do like his lyrics. And I always enjoyed “Cinnamon Girl,” though I wondered if it was vaguely racist. Not to worry! I discovered today it was about heroin. I guess everyone else already knew? Whatever. “Only Love Can Break Your Heart” is a good song (and today’s MLM theme), but again… that voice. Eesh. 😝

Guess Neil took the advice from his friend Stephen Stills and loved the one he was with when he separated from his wife and began dating Daryl Hannah. Daryl had an LTR with Jackson Browne (whose voice I love), which makes Jackson and Neil Eskimo buddies. I found out today that we can’t say “Eskimo buddies” any longer because it is racist and sexist. Some Native Alaskans prefer that we use Inuit and/or Aleutian to describe them. Also, using any form of the term reduces a woman to an object who is only defined by her relationships with men. Yikes! 😱

Likewise, I suppose we shouldn’t use the term “pogo sisters” to describe women who have slept with the same guy, since that reduces men to… 🍆 🍆🍆

Back to music. It seems that offensive stuff is more acceptable when you accompany it with some doop doops and la la las. 🎶🎶 Then it’s more like fiction than a statement and you can plausibly deny you meant anything by it. Just trying to write some cool tunes to entertain the peeps, man… get off my case! Though sometimes songwriters do make a statement, such as when Neil wrote “Ohio.” It seems like a lot of young peeps don’t care about our wars these days, or politics in general, now that there’s no draft. Perhaps we should bring it back… or some form of required community service that no one gets to escape. That’ll get ‘em caring about what’s going on.

Speaking of news, I’d like to bury the lede here and say that I’ve recently and quietly unfollowed some bloggers whose politics make me barf. No arguing, just a click. I struggled with this because I have a few long-term friends whose politics also make me barf, but ultimately I decided so the fuck what. Foolish consistency and hobgoblins, etc. What the hell does this have to do with love being the only thing that breaks your heart? 💔

You tell me! 🤣

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Collared [socs flash 81]

Blonde woman face mouth lips

Collins’ captain complimented him on the killer’s collar. “Congrats on the capture, Collins! Go home and grab a cold one from your cooler.”

But as soon as he closed the door, Collins was confronted by his wife Karen with one of his unclean shirts. “What’s this candy pink lipstick on your collar?” she queried. “Have you been canoodling with Kelly?”

“‘Course not,” Collins countered, cruising to the fridge.

“I’m crushed, you cad!” Karen cried.

“Calm yourself,” he caviled. “That’s Kathy’s color.”

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image from Pexels

Generation Yap [flash 85]

Cheeseburger and fries

“Dude, this burger looks awesome!” Dylan shouted when he sat down at the table. “Get in mah belly!”

“Young man,” Grandpa bristled. “Must you use such obnoxious vocabulary?”

“Chillax, Geepah.” Dylan waved a fry. “I was giving Moms a compliment.”

Grandpa sighed. “In my day, we would have said something more pleasant, such as the cat’s meow.”

“But our cat howls all night,” Dylan pointed out. “That doesn’t seem like a compliment.”

“All right, burgers!” Dad said as he arrived at the table. “Fuckin’ A!”

gatbsy kitty cat

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images are mine and not mine…

Sharp Words [socs]

Crayons

Not the sharpest crayon in the shed, are ya?

You’re mixing metaphors, buddy. Perhaps your elevator doesn’t go to the penthouse any longer.

Penthouse, shmenthouse. You know what they say about stones…

Sticks and stones, man.

Glass houses is all I’m saying.

My glass is half-full because I’m an optimist.

I think you need an optometrist, pal. That glass is half-full of pee.

It’s lemonade, ya doofus. That’s what we cheery types make when life gives us lemons.

Cheery, cherry, dingleberry. Lemons are for losers! I have a banana in my pocket.

You’re probably just happy to see me.

I’ll be happy to see the last of you, is what. Don’t let the door hit ya.

That door? The one with the armed guard?

“You’re talking to yourself again,” the guard said. “I’m telling the doctor you need more meds.”

Mom always spoils our fun.

I know, right?

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image found at Asbestos.com, no relation to Asbestos Dust, I presume…

50 Ways…

Bitmoji sweeping

Getting the brush-off of olde has many synonyms in modern (internet) dating. There’s ghosted, of course (which is also the title of my soon to be completed novel), and this means abruptly disappearing, when someone vanishes like a ghost. 👻 It can even happen in the middle of a chat!

Sometimes you get benched. That’s when you believe Mr. Potential could still be interested because he occasionally texts and/or “likes” your social media posts, but he is never actually able to make plans to meet (also a red flag for a married person who is just flirting to waste your time). This is also known as breadcrumbing.

Bitmoji birds

Next we have orbiting and haunting. This is when someone hovers around but isn’t interested in getting together. They don’t text, but you know they’re reading your posts. If this happens before you’ve met, it’s orbiting. If it happens after they’ve ghosted you, it’s haunting.

You’ve probably heard of catfishing, which is when someone assumes a new identity to start a relationship. They may have a specific target in mind, or simply hope to reel in any good catch. Obviously, they will come up with a raft of excuses why they can’t meet in person. Sometimes they’ll also refuse to speak on the phone ~ maybe because they aren’t the gender they have presented.

Bitmoji fishing

Do you know what cuffing season is? No, not BSDM! It’s when it’s cold outside, baby, and people need someone to snuggle. They’ll drop their dating requirements and take anyone available. But beware when it warms up! April showers may lead to haunted flowers…

Finally, we have paperclipping. This is when an ex pops up to say hi and mess with your head. Go away and stay away!

Bitmoji over it door

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji

Spot [socs]

Cute golden lab

Spot is a strange name for a dog and I wonder how it became so popular. I guess because dogs have spots? Boring! Rover is also a common name, or was… because doggies roam around, I suppose. Then there are the “ironic” names, such as Tiny for a big Doberman or Hercules for a little chihuahua. Some names seem cool but are overused: Max, Copper, Brandy, etc. For my kids’ dog, I suggested Roxy and Rory… they went with Rory. She’s pictured above. My childhood dog was named Peppy, which is pretty uncreative, but I was only 9 when I named her (she was a salt and pepper cockapoo). Names are always interesting to me.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Photo credit ~ Sam Karp

The Monday Peeve 47

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the TMP tag, link back to me (or not), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen. I have feelings!

Today’s peeve is a bit different. I find the phrase “meet this moment” to be annoying AF. Seems like a whole bunch of politicians began using it all at once to announce they were on top of pandemic stuff. Also, the Dixie Chicks jabbered about it when changing their name. I guess meeting the moment is cooler than being on top of the moment. Poor moment might get squooshed. We used to say rise to the occasion too, but that could imply we were lazing about on the beach, and then oops, important thing happening, must get up and at ’em.

But I was wrong. The expression is at least a decade old and had nothing to do with politics originally. I find a reference to it from 2009, when Sylvia Boorstein wrote about “dharma gifts.” She incorporated the phrase as part of a meditation: “May I meet this moment fully, may I meet it as a friend.” Well, now, that sounds lovely! It certainly doesn’t strike me as oozing with fake sincerity, which is how the politicians sound.

I also find that in 2014, the CLIF Bar company used the expression when they were promoting outdoor adventures… with bars along for the ride. They named an initiative “Meet the Moment” to create community, inspire, spark yada blah. What’s funny is that although I’m the couchiest of couch potatoes, I freaking love CLIF bars! I have one pretty much every day cuz they’re delicious and satisfying. (I accept PayPal.)

Alrighty then. Thank you Google. But it still irritates me when politicians say it, and that’s final. Unless er the polls show a more favorable outcome if I embrace it.

Image altered from the original on Pixabay.