Blue Sky

No, this isn’t about Breaking Bad or the ELO song. It’s a pile of questions I found here on an open tag game, and I’m just grabbing them without following the rules or using the banner cuz that’s how I roll. If any of the questions annoy me, I’ll delete them and possibly substitute my own. Then it’s your turn to play. Or else. 🔥

~*~

1. What country have you never visited but would love to, and why?

– I want to visit England and see majestic old crumbly things like the Queen and have tea and cucumber snadwiches and browse in bookshops and hear men speak in sexy British accents all day (swoonsies).

2. What person in your life (not including family members) has most shaped who you are today?

– Probably my ex-husband of 21 years.

3. List three things that make you happy?

– Kitties, poetry, tea.

4. What’s your favorite genre to read?

– Romance.

5. What time period in history most intrigues you, and why?

– That time when whales walked on land and then went back into the ocean and lost their feets. I haz questions.

6. If you could add a new talent to your repertoire, what would it be, and why?

– Repertoire, lol. I would like to have a sense of direction, thx.

7. Where is your favorite place in the world, and why?

– Anywhere with both my daughters, all of us having a good time.

8. What animal best describes your personality, and why?

– Hermit crab. I like to be home alone, and I’m crabby.

9. What’s your favorite recipe (and please share it)?

– Tea and c00kies. You make some tea and get some c00kies from the c00kie package. Serve with a napkin. Hope that wasn’t too technical.

10. Hiking boots, sneakers, heels, or flip-flops?

– Eh? Cute boots or loafers. Occasional heels but not high ones. Sneakers for long walks. Long meaning over a mile. 😂

11. Would you rather have tons of love and little wealth, or tons of wealth and little love?

– Wealth, tons of. Then watch the love roll in. I know how it works.

12. What’s your favorite flower? Any special reason?

– Yellow roses edged with pink. Also sunflowers and orchids. I love a super colorful bouquet 💐 most of all. No reason.

13. What word do you find annoying, and you hear it all the time?

– It starts with T.

14. What bends your mind every time you think about it?

– The first person who figured out how to make bread. It’s so freaking complicated with a bunch of steps and not something that would have happened by accident.

15. What is in your fridge right now?

– Bread, whale feets. The usual.

K, I’m done. Deleted the rest. Now you!

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Where she almost runs out of gas & ends up with cupcakes

So the otter day I needed gas and should have stopped off after work but was too lazy. I’ll get it in the morning, I thought. But in the morning, I forgot I needed gas and didn’t leave extra time before work to get some. I could have been a couple minutes late, but I don’t like to do that. I’ll get it at lunch, I decided. But then I didn’t wanna cuz I was busy eating a potato. After work, I really had to get some because the light came on when I started the car. Eeps! Scary!

I went to the Shell station by my office, which I hate cuz peeps are rude and aggressive there, but whatever. My credit card didn’t work. Which was ridic because it’s a new card and I have plenty of credit on it. Maybe the card reader doesn’t like new, anti-fraud cards? I tried an older card, also with plenty of money on it, and it didn’t work either. OMG the Shell station knows I hate it and hates me back! There were no open pumps and so I left in a rage.

I googled gas stations and saw there was a Chevron right nearby on MacArthur. Great! The map lady kept telling me to turn on streets that were not MacArthur, which was putting me into more of a boiling rage. Sometimes I really hate the map lady. Why can’t I just turn on MacArthur, which is coming right up? I did that. Then I see the Chevron is on my left directly across from the airport. What a pain. SHIRLEY there are more gas stations if I drive down MacArthur just a little bit, right? It’s full of hotels and businesses. I keep driving (with the fuel light on) and NOTHING. WTF? Why are there no gas stations anywhere? OMFG! I’m thinking I should turn around and go to the Chevron, but then I’m at Fashion Island already, which is a giant mall/business center. Oh FFS, there has to be a gas station here!

I end up flung out on Pacific Coast Highway where there is a 76 station, hooray, so I go there. The gas is of course like $18 per gallon, since I’m not even in Newport Beach now but Corona del Mar, where the homes are $4M minimum. Excuse me estates. It cost me $430 to fill up my Corolla. People looking at me like oh haha maid’s night out isn’t that cute? The 76 station card reader is fine with my new credit card.

Btw, I now hate Range Rovers more than BMWs, for anyone keeping track of my prefs.

While the car is gobbling up the primo fuel, I’m thinking dur I could have simply driven home and gotten gas at my normal Mobil station, and I would have wasted less gas and time looking for gas, but noooo. Now, at this point, a sensible person would go home, nuke some dinner, and watch the tube, but we’re talking about me… and I see I’m directly across from Corona del Mar Plaza. This plaza contains Gulfstream bar and restaurant, where I first met the man who broke my heart ~ remember him? We just talked about him! But who cares, eh?

Corona del Mar Plaza also haz a Sprinkles Cupcakes store. Oh, yes it does. After my tremendously stressful ordeal finding gas, I decide I am entitled to a gourmet cupcake, which I haven’t had in ages. I bought two: the triple cinnamon and the pumpkin, both with cinnamon cream cheese frosting. I wanted to try their special flavor, Timeless Magic (might be a Harry Potter thing), cuz it was gorgeous purple with gold dust and black velvet cake, but once they said it was filled with pop rocks I reverted to form and took the pumpkin.

Lest anyone think I ate two cupcakes at once (the horror!), I had one for dinner and one the next morning for breakfast. Here’s a weird thing. I loved the cake part of these cupcakes, especially the cinnamon, which I highly recommend. Soooo moist and flavorful (and I don’t understand why people have a thing about the word moist). But since I haven’t had frosting since like my birthday in April, I found it almost too sweet at first. Then I got used to it again and it was fabulous! But my reaction shocked me. Too sweet? What? But even the little bit of candy I indulge in now and then isn’t enough to keep my sugar craving up to 11 like before. Honestly I would be happy with just the cinnamon cake sans frosting. Or the pumpkin.

I know. Who am I? What’s happened to the real Paula? If we’re such enigmas to even ourselves, with our own once-solid traits as shifting as the sands, how can we expect to begin to understand another person? Take a look around you, at the people you think you know… do you really know them at all? Do you really know yourself? Anything can change in an instant… like your dessert preferences. Proceed with caution.

This was like two (2) enthralling poasts in one. You’re welcome! 😀

The Fifth Element

I learned the word quintessential as a teenager while reading an article about Valerie Bertinelli. The writer described her as “quintessentially cute,” so I had to look that up. It was the perfect description! Besides being adorable-looking, Valerie was and is one of my favorite celebrities. I follow her on Twitter ~ she’s one of the few celebs I follow ~ and I agree with her about almost everything. Right now, she’s talking football, so I’m ignoring her, but I normally love everything she tweets about politics, cats, food, etc. Not to forget, of course, that I was an avid fan of One Day at a Time plus enjoyed many of Valerie’s made for TV movies.

Back to quintessential. Today I was curious about the origin of the word, so back to the trusty dictionary I wandered. Where did the quint part come from, I wondered… what does being a perfect example of something have to do with the number five? Welp, here’s the answer!

The philosophers and scientists of the ancient world and the Middle Ages believed that the world we inhabit was entirely made up of four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. Aristotle added a fifth element, the aether or ether, by which he meant the material that fills the rest of space, mostly invisibly but sometimes taking the form of stars and planets. Many writers described the element as a kind of invisible light or fire. In the Middle Ages, it was referred to as the quinta essentia (“fifth element”). It isn’t surprising that the quinta essentia came to stand for anything so perfect that it seemed to surpass the limitations of earth. Today we generally use quintessential rather freely to describe just about anything that represents the best of its kind. — Merriam Webster

So, now we are all smarter, yayyy! 😀

Bottoms Up [mini-rant]

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy!”

I said that to my daughter yesterday and she assumed it was one of my brilliant wordplays, but I had to confess I didn’t come up with it. Who did? I asked google, and ended up tangled in a kerfuffle. Even Stephen King has a Twitter thread about the phrase. What’s clear as mud is that the song we know and lurve from Dr. Demento is not its first occurrence.

Seems like either Dorothy Parker, W.C. Fields, or Fred Allen coined it, according to the internet. And not only that, but the original phrasing is like so: “I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy!” If anyone has the definitive story of this phrase, spill it in comments please.

I dedicate this poast to booze, given that it’s the beginning of fall, the harvest moon, and delicious pumpkin spice goodness. I raise my cup of tea in a toast to the season, fruit of the vine, red red wine, and only wish it could be laced with whiskey (or whisky). We have a strange relationship with alcohol in this country. Well, I don’t ~ I have no relationship with it, so sad. Unlike dating, I actually miss alcohol. Love you, bye forever. 😢 🥀💔

As I understand it, if a woman (or girl) gets drunk and something bad happens to her, everyone will say she only has herself to blame.

But if a man (or boy), gets drunk and does something bad, people will excuse his behavior due to the booze and say well ya know… boys, whaddaya gonna do?

We’ve arbitrarily decided that no one can have a taste of alcohol until they’re 21, not even if they’re with their parents, but then we send kids off to college at 18, call them adults… yet they’re totally unprepared to deal with the booze-soaked reality of college life. Parents aren’t allowed to teach a teenager how to drink a glass or two of wine, or a couple beers, so they over-indulge like maniacs once they get away. If you believe that yours aren’t gonna do this, bwahahaha.

So much of dating and adult socializing in general is tied up with our drinking culture in weird ways too, even though we have super strict laws about drunk driving, as we should. We should imo have more enforcement of our other traffic laws too, especially speeding and red light running, huge issues in SoCal. Anyway, dating after divorce reminded me again what a huge part alcohol plays in our society. During my marriage, we rarely drank ~ maybe we should have, lol. But now it’s moot because of chronic migraines.

I know, I know. You were thinking I was about to careen off into a wild rant about you know what and you know who and omg can you believe those guys and did you read what he said about what she said and then that whole thread holy crap on a canapé amirite?

We’re good then.

Sunsets & Sushi

What’s on your dating site grocery list?

One of today’s prompt words ~ eclectic ~ reminded me of the things men used to write in their profiles. They probably still do, but since I’m not in dating site world, it doesn’t exist. See how that works? 😀 Everyone was eclectic there. Lots of unique interests that made them all out of the box thinkers. You just can’t put a label on this one! He’s a maverick. Independent. A bit wild, IYKWIM. Definitely not like the other guys on these sites. Nope.

“I like sunsets, sushi, football [go, dumb college team!], travel, dogs, will tolerate cats (haha), you in a little black dress, you in jeans, you with me, laughing, smiling, and, most importantly, radical honestly.” — some typically unique dude

This was the latest fad, to emphasize some higher form of honesty. Radical was a fave. Fierce was also used. Savage? Brutal? Not so much. I didn’t see nuclear honesty; that would have been scary. I kinda like the sound of atomic honesty… has a nice slanty rhyme in there.

It’s all bullshit, of course. No one is honest.

I was going to write that I miss mocking these profiles, but really who has time? The news has since expanded to fill up all my available free minutes with absolute insanity that I must keep up with or… or… idk what.

Must dash. More news! What’s happened in the past 10 minutes? Omgawd Giuliani and Dershowitz have both yabbered something. 🙄🙄🙄

Escapist Coloring Club

Welp… I am being presumptuous. They may ban me from the ECC with my first entry. But it was relaxing…

Prophecy

When the child attained her seventh year, they brought her to the sacred stones. She was the seventh daughter of the seventh sage and possessed the sight.

“Tell us,” they urged. “We must know.”

She stared at the water as it glimmered in the early morning light. The ripples formed patterns that reshaped themselves into a fully formed picture in her mind.

“Fire.” She closed her eyes, her fair lashes fanning over her pale skin. “Brother against brother and fires across the hills until all the men are dead.”

They gasped at her prognostication. “All? Can we save anyone? Babies?”

The girl’s face betrayed no emotion as she resumed gazing into the pond. She stayed silent for several minutes. The sun rose higher and the elders grew nervous. But they waited, faces hidden under hooded robes.

Finally, she spoke again. “When the silver wolf comes out of the forest, send the child away.”

They didn’t question her warning; the probability that a seventh seventh would be wrong was too low to consider. Such a thing had never occurred here, to their knowledge. In fact, as they each thought of it, an insidious treachery had already begun to permeate their tribe. Low-level fighting occurred weekly, though of course the girl would not know of such things, living in her guarded forest glen.

With a nod, they moved toward her. It was time. The girl had served her purpose and done well; now her blood must be added to the sacred stones with others of her kind. Knives flashed out from their robes, sharp edges glittering.

One of the elders stood back and whistled. A silver shape sailed out of the trees and flung itself at the other robed figures, knocking them down and killing them instantly. The wolf looked up, its mouth red, and locked gazes with the girl, their eyes the same misty grey.

The sage held out his hand to his daughter. “We must go quickly. I packed bags for us and hid them under the wandering oak.”

She took his hand and the silver wolf trotted alongside them. When she picked up her bag, she looked back once and saw the hills had started to burn.

“A diversion,” the sage told her. “The longer it takes anyone to remember it was prophecy day, the further away we shall be. I have plenty of gold to buy us passage on a ship once we get over the mountains.”

She didn’t tell him she had foreseen his death while at sea.

Soul Mate Noodles [FOWC]

If you believe in soul mates, you have to believe in some sort of God or supernatural meddling. Otherwise, the entire concept of soul mates makes no sense because math.

What are the odds that your other half or twin flame or however you term the soul mate concept would happen to be your next door neighbor? Infinitesimal. Not to mention the inconvenient fact that s/he would have to be born around the same time as you, give or take a decade, and all your paths geographically converge. The chances of meeting your soul mate sans angelic level interference approach zero.

So, yes… I say if you believe in soul mates, the supernatural concept is baked in. Since I’m an atheist, it follows that I must reject the idea of soul mates, sweet as it may be. This is despite the fact that I’ve loved romance novels and romcoms my whole life. Hey, I can also enjoy good science fiction. I cop to using the term “soul mates” however and not always in jest. It’s one of those expressions everyone understands.

I don’t actually believe in souls anyway. What does that even mean? Something beyond the physical self that existed prior to your conception and will go on after your death? Nah.

I can see the attraction to the idea though. And I’m happy to use it in my writing because it’s a way to convey emotional content that is universally relatable.

Nothing, Your Fave Topic

I like today’s prompt word awkward because it looks awkward and sounds awkward. Why the heck would anyone decide to spell a word with a “wkw” series of letters except to stumble drunkenly into the ward of awk where everyone has their hospital gowns on backwards. You really don’t know where to look. Awkward!

I used to feel awkward in social settings, but I got over that with age. It’s important to remember that you’re not really that important to most other people. This isn’t meant to crush anyone’s delicate ego; it’s simply a reminder that others are focused on themselves and their own issues, not your minor imperfections. Um except for that one psychopath there… he’s homing in on you and how to use your insecurities against you. 😱

Speaking of ego, I’ve been called arrogant and insecure, since people just can’t figure me out. I’m a mystery wrapped in a riddle, covered in a crunchy shell. My arrogance might be masking my insecurity or vice versa… or maybe people are wrong. It has been known to happen, especially on the internet.

Last night my friend and I went to a dessert shop in Costa Mesa that specializes in malasadas, which seem to be some sort of specialty filled donut, but they were out, so we had ice cream, which was delish. There’s a message on Fill’s website saying sorry that they keep running out of malasadas (my phone keeps trying to change this to maladaptive). Now, here’s the thing: I didn’t even care that much about these gourmet pastries until it turns out I can’t haz one. Now, I’m tempted to call in an order. This is psychology at work, folks. Human and otherwise. Just ask my cat when I take away a pen.

But I would feel awkward buying two dozen of these donut whatsits without even knowing if they are indeed super nom and taking them to a party or whatever. What if my friends didn’t appreciate them? My ego couldn’t take such rejection.

Song Lyrics Sunday: Speak

This is one of my favorite love songs. Way back when, with my ex, I requested it at a piano bar up in San Francisco and, maybe because I’d had a few drinks, the waiter misunderstood me. Finally, the piano player came over and apologized for not knowing “Disguise in Love.” We had a good laugh and then he played my song.

“This Guy’s in Love with You”

You see this guy
This guy’s in love with you
Yes, I’m in love
Who looks at you the way I do
When you smile I can tell
We know each other very well
How can I show you
I’m glad I got to know you, ’cause

I’ve heard some talk
They say you think I’m fine
Yeah, I’m in love
And what I’d do to make you mine
Tell me now, is it so?
Don’t let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don’t let my heart keep breaking, ’cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you’re in love
In love with this guy
If not, I’ll just die

Tell me now, is it so?
Don’t let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don’t let my heart keep breaking, ’cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you’re in love
In love with this guy
If not, I’ll just die

Songwriters: Burt F. Bacharach / Hal David

This Guy’s in Love With You lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

There are many great versions of this song… here’s a cheesy vid for Herb Alpert’s 1968 original. Don’t we all dream about wearing miniskirts while climbing over slippery rocks with our soul mates and then ruining our long gowns in the ocean at sunset? So romantic!