Tag Archives: HWDP

Shish Ke Babble [flash 145]

“Hi, Lisa,” Mark said as he sat down at the picnic table. “We meet at last. I’m so glad. I’ve heard a lot about you, all of it awesome!”

Lisa shrugged. “Not to be rude, but honestly, Mark, what do we have in common? I’ve been avoiding this setup by our friends because I think we’re actually quite different.”

“True, and not to use a boring old line, but what about ‘opposites attract?'”

“My ex and I were opposites.” Lisa smiled ruefully. “So, I think I can dispel that myth.”

Mark slapped his forehead. “Oh no! Give me enough rope and I’ll hang myself. Sorry for bringing up bad memories, Lisa.”

“It’s okay.” She pointed to their plates. “I see you also like shish-kebab.”

“I do,” he said. “This barbecue is first-rate.”

“I guess we do have one thing in common,” Lisa admitted.

~*~

June 4 Prompts ~ HWDP

Good Eggtentions [275 words]

This innocuous box of colorfully dyed eggs reminds me of all the money I’ve wasted on crafts that didn’t happen over the years. And even if they’d materialized, I’m not sure that the money would have been well-spent, but at least I’d then have had the satisfaction of a completed task.

I began a “tee shirt business” in the 1990s that never took off, partly because I developed carpal tunnel in my hand from painting all day, and partly because… what, really? I was paying retail price for all my supplies and just dabbling. How was this ever going to be profitable? 🙄

Then, because I received compliments over some adorable cakes I created, I thought, well, I could go into the cake decorating biz, but… see the tee shirt paragraph. 🤪

After that, I decided crafts would be back to hobbies only, yada. But I still have to be careful. I got carried away buying yarn a few times after crocheting for five minutes. Naturally, the projects were left untouched in my closet. (I did complete my knitted scarf however, hurrah!) The girls and I made bead necklaces up north once, and it was a struggle for me not to run out and begin a bead “thing.” Beads! Fun! 😀

Just typing that makes me want to do beady beady beads.

Mostly though, the rainbow eggs remind me of Beanie Baby days. Yes, I was one of those crazy people. At a certain point, there was a trend to buy multiple white Halo (angel) bears and dye them different colors in pots on your stove. I did this.

Why? I don’t know. 😳

~*~

THW Prompt ~ May 9

Anniversary [100]

“Those petit fours look so luscious, Sandy,” Eva said. “They must have five hundred calories each.”

Sandy smiled. “Thank you! I thought we all deserved a special treat for the anniversary of our club.”

Jill shook her head. “My doctor told me to avoid sugar. Honestly Sandy. We’re all too old to splurge like this. You should have made something more suitable.

“Geez,” Sandy said. “You ladies are–”

“Hey hey!” Norm shouted. “Are we all ready to draw names for our partner swap?”

Sandy, Eva, and Jill rushed toward the front of the room, forgetting all about the petit fours.

~*~

May 2 Prompt ~ The Haunted Wordsmith

Misty Reminiscing…

I may come across as a hissing witch of negativity when it comes to dating (dating sites in particular), but I wasn’t always this way. Before I began denouncing the entire process as an impossible nightmare, there were a few fun times.

I remember meeting one man just about this time of year, waaay back in 2011, which seems like a lifetime ago now. This was only a few months after my divorce was final and I felt so free and happy. I had joined a couple dating sites and was very upbeat, not sarcastic, not dark and fatalistic, but optimistic and energetic.

Anyway, I met this guy at a Starbucks near my office after work. Back then, I didn’t roll my eyes at the cliché of a coffee meet. It was all new and fun! I didn’t care where we met! After we got our drinks and sat down, he held a sprig of mistletoe over my head and kissed me. Just a little kiss! It was so cute! I thought, wow, my life is really just beginning.

But it turned out he was married. Now, here’s the thing. Back then, I was a purist. I was divorced, so I wanted to date divorced men, not separated men. Sometimes men who say they’re separated are actually still living with their wives… they’ve only just “separated” for an hour and a half. But some people really do go through lengthy divorce proceedings (mine took 2+ years), and maybe I was too quick to write them all off.

Too late now, but as I said in the title… misty memories. It’s that time of year for ’em. As the months/years passed, and I met more liars and grew more negative, I’m sure I gave off a bad vibe myself. Hard not to, whether in writing, facial expression, or in person. I became more secretive, not wanting to give my phone number for longer periods of time, which may have made me seem suspicious. Who doesn’t give out a number? Married folks. People who are hiding something and don’t want to be googled. People you can’t trust.

Ah well. You can’t undo what happened. “It is what it is.” And like some soppy holiday movie, I found happiness right where I left it… surrounded by family: two wonderful daughters, their fabulous husbands, and now I even have an adorable grandbaby to love.

Monday Meandering

It was bothering me that my full-size bitmojis appeared on my iPhone reader as humongous pictures dropping off the sides of the screen. Other bloggers’ pics do the same, btw ~ not photographs, which seem to know how to behave themselves, but graphics grabbed from the web, which do not. Anyway, I’ve been resizing mine to medium in the app but haven’t noticed a satisfactory difference, so that’s why I went down to thumbnail on this one. It just bugs me when pics are off. Now the thumbnail will look weird when I view my blog on the web… sigh. 😜

*

I finally figured out why my YouTube vids weren’t previewing properly ~ when I take the link from the YouTube app, it’s a shortlink. I then have to paste it in a browser to get a real link that creates a preview. What a royal pain in the ass. Is there any more annoying problem in the world today, I ask you? Oh, for the halcyon daze of olde when we didn’t have the convenience of apps to bitch about and had to trudge 5 miles in the cybersnow every time we wanted to copypasta any damn thing. 🙄

*

I was just about to stop at Target after work on Friday night to buy a space heater when I remembered I had one. And it wasn’t hidden away in a closet ~ it’s right next to the TV cabinet. This is what happens when the unused spaces in your brain get old and frozen. 🥶

*

My MO in Blogland is not to keep score cuz that’s just annoying and frustrating. I follow around 700 blogs and only 500 or so follow me. But who is MO anyway and why am I letting him set precedent? This I began to wonder today as I unfollowed a few bloggers in my feed who never like any of my poasts. Pffft.

To each their own, but if all a blogger does it repost old stuff, and not interact with me, I’m going to be faster with the unfollow click. I mean, I go to the trouble of writing fresh new boring crap for you guys every single day! I don’t want my feed filled with a parade of moldy recyclables. If I see I’ve already hearted it… grrrr!

Seriously one guy reposts his half-dozen sensual love letters to his “goddess” every night and I’m just BARF ALREADY! Write something new to her, dude. Geez. 🤮

*

I just looked up the definition of cartoon cuz I wasn’t sure what counted. Obviously the shows we used to watch on Saturday morning, but comic strips too? Yup. And movies like Frozen? Yup. And those quickie caricatures? Yup. Also, the word comes from Italian, carta (paper), if anyone cares. First known usage was in 1671, as in a preparatory design. You’re welcome. 😜

*

I’m on the Nextdoor app to keep track of local doings. I was motivated to download it when the OCRegister went to a pay site. I miss the OCR, gotta admit, but I’m not gonna pay. I have no paid subscriptions to anything. Nextdoor is sometimes helpful/interesting, but Twitter is actually more on top of breaking emergencies. Of course there are trolls and idiots and assholes on ND because it is social media. People won’t follow rules and simply must jabber on about “the wall” and whatever other stupid BS pops into their heads. 🤬

Naturally there are the sea lion men, barking questions at women, only to tell them that their opinions are invalid. I ran into one of these jerks this weekend who told me I can’t have an opinion on my city after “only” living here 5 years when he’s been here 25. I muted him. It’s too bad they are only mutes and not blocks like Twitter. I would prefer it if he was not able to see and/or reply to me again. Same goes for anyone I mute in the future.

This is one of the things that makes it hard for women to express themselves online (not to mention in meatspace obviously). You have to constantly worry about angering some wacko man, especially if he’s local. Who even knows what might set some lunatic off into a rage? Idk if this guy is totally fine or a nutball, but I got a bad vibe, and so I let him have the last word because I see from other threads that it’s important to him. And I didn’t insult him like another woman did; I just quietly faded away. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m scared of men who seem trollish and unhinged. We read stories all the time about women being stalked and attacked by nutjobs. And crazy men are everywhere. We’re never safe. 😢

No, I’m not being overly dramatic. Just go look up the statistics about violence against women. This is another reason why I quit using dating sites. Besides all the benignly obnoxious jerks and liars and creeps, there are rapists and con men and murderers lurking there. It’s documented. And when some rando gets angry because you reject him after chatting, how do you know which group he falls into?

Not worth the stress.

Saved by Giraffes, a Christmas Flash [325]

Santa’s hand hovered over the plate for several moments before he decided upon a particularly festive Christmas cookie. Mmm, it looked buttery and delicious…

As soon as he lifted the treat from the plate, an alarm shrieked. The lights in the house came on and a couple ran out from a back room. They looked incongruous ~ wearing happy holiday pajamas but holding scary baseball bats. Santa didn’t have any bats in his sack, just some stuffed giraffes, an electric toothbrush, and a pair of slippers. It was the end of this route.

“Hold on there,” Scary Man said. “We need to see some ID.”

Santa backed up. “ID? But I’m Santa. Look at my beard! And my red suit.”

Scary Woman laughed. It was a scary laugh. “Anyone can buy those at the party store. We looked outside and didn’t see any reindeer. Explain that!”

“They’re tired and hungry,” Santa said. “I let them hang out at the diner down the street and wait for me. The lady there said she’d give them some oatmeal.”

Scary Man remained skeptical. “Where’s your driver’s license?”

Santa reached into his bag.

“Hey!” Scary Woman raised her bat. “What are you doing?”

“Offering you a gift,” Santa said. “It’s what I do. Your other ones are wrapped, but this is extra.”

Scary Man rejected the overture. “A giraffe? Honestly, do you think we’re idiots?”

“Wait, honey,” Scary Woman said. “When I was little I had a book called A Giraffe and a Half, and it was one of the last books Mom read to me before she died.”

“Awwww.” Scary Man hugged Scary Woman, and they weren’t so scary after they put down their bats and held stuffed giraffes instead.

“Can I have my cookie now?” Santa asked as they went upstairs to bed.

Whew, that was a close call. He picked up his sack, stuffed in all the gifts, and left with his cookie. It really was delicious.

~*~

Photo courtesy of HW Daily Writing Prompts