Rory has some great relationship questions for us today. I am going to respond to them for myself, not as advice. My experiences have informed my attitude toward this topic, so my answers will be unique to me. What works and doesn’t work for me probably has no bearing on anyone else’s situation. 😻
1. Do you think that ‘background checks’ should be more commonplace between couples who are dating and or those looking to marry or live with each other?
In my case, I would be extremely hesitant to proceed in any meaningful way with a man I didn’t know much about. I’m talking beyond finances into the realm of his relationships with other people ~ family, friends, coworkers. Is he negative toward a lot of these folks, blaming them for his lack of whatever? Major red flag! 🚩
2. Do you think love alone is enough to see people through everything?
Not if we’re defining love by fabulous sex, which I think is the major component of how many define it. If I don’t feel a strong sense of mutual respect, loyalty, and shared life goals with someone, “love” is definitely not enough.
3. What are your views on people getting married/living together too young – are you in total favour of that or not?
I have no opinion on what others do, as long as they are consenting adults. It might work out longterm for two 19 year olds, or not, same as two 39 year olds. Depends entirely on the people and their situation. I first lived with a guy at age 24 and that didn’t end well.
4. What do you think about people not getting to know their partners well enough – is it something that should be looked at more closely whilst you live apart or something that can be worked on when you are under the same roof together?
See my first answer wrt myself. I don’t want to find out that someone has a prison record on our honeymoon, but if you prefer mystery, go for it!
5. What are your views on couples who are teenage sweethearts and simply wish to get married and yet they have never sampled anything else of life, they have never had other partners and the list goes on … but they are willing to sacrifice their life for living with one person only believing they are the right person for them?
It’s fine. “Sampling” is overrated and is a euphemism for having sex with a lot of other people. In my case, I would do it all differently, if I could go back, so I certainly am not going to tell others they should sleep around! 😜
6. Finally, which is the best love ? The one we think is right or the the love that finds you by chance or the love we source out with intention?
The best love is the one who makes me feel loved and loving, is supportive and loyal (and I am too), and with whom I share life goals. We could meet via chance or intention… what difference does it make ultimately how it began as long as it ends with the right person by my side? 😍
That said, I have no hope of romantic love happening for me, which is a GOOD THING because hope has led me only to sadness and disappointment.
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