TSAONGAF 1

TSAONGAF is the abbreviation for Mark Manson’s self-help book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I’ve read MM’s articles with some regularity, and last week I read his bestselling book. It was a great experience for me and I learned a lot. As I said earlier, I’m going to blog about some of my thoughts on his various concepts.

What does MM mean by not giving a f*ck? He points out that most of us are wrapped up in caring about so many things that we feel perpetually entitled to a perfect world and freak out when things don’t go how we want. I guess you could say that our giving f*cks too freely has turned us into a bunch of whiny Karens. MM suggests we drill down to our basic values (and change them if they aren’t working for us), and then find the few, important things to focus on. “Let the little things go.” We’ve heard that before, right?

Obsessing over way too many unimportant details has been a huge problem for me my whole life. I can’t simply decide not to and that’s that. “Don’t do that” is a negative statement, and when you focus on a negative, well, you know what happens. “Don’t eat potato chips”… now all you can think about are potato chips. I’ve been trying to substitute the negative statements with positive ones. Focus on work. Pay attention to family. Engage in self-care routines. Get more sleep and exercise. Read more books.

Focusing on these positives has had the effect of pushing some of the trivial crap away. It really does work. I don’t have time (or the inclination) to engage in social media arguments (a huge source of past stress) when I’m in the middle of a good book. If I’m filling my time with pleasurable activities, I’m less inclined to click on a new dating site “just to see.” I know that leads down a bad path. I can step back now. It’s a bit harder in some areas, such as driving ~ I still get enraged when someone does a dangerous maneuver. What does MM say about that?

It’s okay for life to suck sometimes, is what he says. We are not entitled to a perfect life, and there’s no need to feel inadequate when something fails to be perfect. So I had a frustrating drive to Los Angeles. That’s just how it is some days and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me or the way I’m living my life. Sometimes traffic is sucky and frustrating. That’s okay. I literally had this ridiculous conversation in my head the other week. I was so stupid for letting my daughter go to UCB. She had a full ride to UCD and wouldn’t have met her future husband there probably. I’d have more money now and wouldn’t have to make this horrible drive when I want to see her. God, I’m so dumb!

But then I got to her house (a half hour later than expected) and had such a great time with my family. I’m not “dumb” because there was a detour and some other drivers were being rude and awful. It’s okay for things to suck sometimes. I’m not entitled to perfection. It’s hard though to keep that mindset all the time… I’m constantly reminding myself to stay positive and not dwell on small annoyances. Being positive is more of a habit now than it used to be though, so I am improving. Slowly.

Okay, that’s the end of this PoiMo. I’ll do more MM musing another time. 🙂

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image originally found on Pixabay.

30 Day Book Challenge 5

I did this challenge in groups of 6 and this will be my last post in the series. It was a lot of fun!

25. A book villain I actually love would be Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones. I mean, come on, the guy is a total creep, banging his sister, and throwing a little kid off a tower when he witnessed them. But except for those minor details…

26. I’m not big on “shoulds,” and I also can’t recall reading a biography–they were all autobiographies. Born Standing Up by Steve Martin was probably my favorite. I do recommend it for his fans. Papa John by John Phillips was also interesting.

27. I don’t reread books yearly, but Where I’m Calling From, a short story collection by Ray Carver, is a book I’ve read a few times.

28. Watership Down by Richard Adams is a classic on my to-be-read list.

29. I love the cover of Neil Gaiman’s Fragile Things and the stories inside as well.

30. The book I’m reading right now is Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I’m about half done and it’s fantastic. Wish I had read it sooner because I’ve already learned a lot.

Great challenge!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image stolen from Sandmanjazz.

Bingo Update 11

Read previous update here.

For the bestseller book, I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I loved Manson when he was much less popular… found him early on when he gave mostly dating advice. Then I began to resent him. Who was this brash young guy (obviously privileged) telling everyone all this crap? And making bank off it. I quit reading him for a few years. But he was still around ~ peeps were always quoting him. Annoyed, I developed a conspiracy theory that he wasn’t even a real person but a character created by a publishing team. That still could be true… who knows.

Then my FB friend Barbara linked to one of his articles when I was depressed. I clicked. Whatever I read that day (don’t remember now) helped me so much that I subscribed to his blog by email. I grudgingly began to admire him again, so much so that I finally bought his book TSAONGAF. I didn’t read it until this challenge however.

Mark’s book is truly amazing. It’s a joy to read because he speaks to you as a friend, not as a high and mighty shrink. He admits to messing up in many areas before he began to view life much differently. He says he too is always growing and learning, and he doesn’t act like he has all the answers. He uses examples from his own life to illustrate his points, which makes his writing feel real and down to earth. Maybe the examples are made up, but regardless they are a great device to draw you in to the topic of each chapter.

My plan is to discuss in detail some of the TSAONGAF concepts that resonated the most with me in Pointless Meanders as time permits. That’s not a substitute for reading it yourself… I already feel better having finished it, and I highly recommend it in its entirety. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Two left! 📚

PS: I have no idea what happened with my phone’s pens, but I couldn’t find the right one for the checkmark, hence the slash.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image from Kriti and Ariel.

Bloggerz 2

Guess who is back with a dozen silly questions for us? Yep, you got it. The Blokey Guy aka Rory! Let’s get to it, shall we… I haven’t got all night.

1. How spontaneous are you? Great question. I’m very fun and spontaneous, as long as I have a teensy bit of advance notice, say like 2 weeks.
2. How flirtatious would you say you are and if that is not the word you would use then try the alternatives of ‘teasing or playful’ either way – how much are you of this? I’m loads of this as well, though perhaps I might use the word snarky or bitchy, but a rose is a rose, eh? 🌹
3. How serious are you as a person? Welp, I would say I’m more serious as a person than I am as a kangaroo.
4. Do you think the older we become certain emotions are easier to handle – say as an example ‘grief?’ Yes, especially when we can’t even remember what the hell happened the day before. That’s helpful.
5. What is the most adventurous thing you have done to date? Probably dating a married man was pretty adventurous, and that worked out as well as you would expect. 💔
6. What’s the craziest or riskiest thing you have ever done and simply got away with it or gotten caught doing it? Way way back when, I both took and gave rides from/to strangers. Don’t do this, kids.
7. What do you think the future is of dating and other ‘other’ now that social distancing has become part of your life? Irrelevant, since I no longer date or do any other othering either.
8. How different do you really think you are to the next person – are you prim and proper, or straight laced and serious, wild and abandoned or rebellious and controversial? I think I’m average/middle-of-the-road in almost all areas, except I can be alone for vast amounts of time and be fine (though I miss my family in this horrid lockdown). In fact, being overly social makes me exhausted and depressed, which seems different from what most people report.
9. During this time of global concern how has your thinking changed with regards the planet, conservation, climate issues… or has it not changed one little bit? I’ve always been in favor of minimizing our pollution levels and finding ways to avoid destroying animals and their habitats. 🌎
10. What ‘topical issues’ considered ‘taboo’ by society are you deeply passionate with and about to the point of doing something about it? None really. Just leave people alone to do as they will as long as they aren’t harming anyone else. Oh, I guess I’m a fan of internet reform, which no one likes, but I’m too lazy to do anything about it. If I were in charge, I’d likely disallow anonymity and multiple accounts. One account, per person, traceable across platforms. No trolling or sock puppets or other shenanigans used for evil purposes.
11. What’s more important and or is there a difference between ‘Friendship and Companionship’ and if so what is that difference? There are levels to friendship for sure, from basic acquaintances to coworkers to peeps you want to hang out with in your free time. And then there are other people, maybe just a few, or only one, with whom you have a special connection (not talking romantic, though it could be)… someone who “gets” you and with whom you can easily share your feelings and experiences, knowing you won’t be judged or mocked or criticized. But also someone who shares things with you in return, so you feel you aren’t just taking but giving as well. This is what I consider companionship, beyond friendship. I don’t really have it in my life now, just sporadic friendship when people aren’t busy with other things, and I’m okay with that.
12. What is your passion with regards writing genres – (1) what is your chosen genre and (2) what is the genre you might like to write about but lack confidence to start? I’ve written lots of romance and a little erotica, bunches of poetry, and a political romance. I’ve begun a few mysteries and “literary fiction” type works as well. Finished some shorter pieces in those genres. Dabbled in a bit of sci-fi too. As I keep saying, I’m working on a mystery/love story called Ghosted, which will be finished… at some point. Lack of confidence to write in a genre I haven’t tried before does not seem to be an issue for me. 🤣

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image found on eBay.

20 Questions

These are from Melanie, who got them from Fandango, in two separate posts, but she reworded some, and then added more to make a better number, as you do, so are they her questions or his questions?

Let me know what you decide, okay? In the meantime, imma answer the questions…

1. Okay, you write a blog, so do you also play word games of any kind?

Yes, all of them. Not at the same time, of course, but if it’s a word game, I’ve likely tried it, or some variation. Right now, on my phone, I have Wordscapes, which has pretty backgrounds and relaxing sounds. It’s too easy though.

2. Do you have any other type of creative outlet besides writing? Art, sewing, photography, jewelry making, etc.?

I’ve done all of that. I used to love baking and cake decorating. I also did lots of needlework pictures and pillows. I tried to start a tee shirt painting biz but got a hurty wrist and had to stop. My hands are achy lately, so I haven’t been doing any crafts at all. 😢

3. Do you listen to anything while you write or does it need to be quiet?

I prefer quiet.

4. Are you an avid book reader?

I go in phases. This year I’ve only read 19 books so far.

5. Name a country you would love to visit if the world wasn’t shut down because of the virus.

England.

6. Have you ever written a poem about someone and gave it to them?

Yes, as jokes and seriously. I’ve also written loads of poems about people that I haven’t shown them. Here’s my favorite one.

7. Is there an author (living or dead) that you would love to sit down and talk to for an hour?

Margaret Atwood.

8. Have you ever met a fellow blogger or interacted off WordPress?

I’ve met a few.

9. Cake or pie?

Yes, please… coconut cake / cherry pie.

10. Coffee or tea?

Coffee in the morning / tea the rest of the day.

11. What is the strangest movie you have ever seen?

When I was 11, my parents took me to see Greaser’s Palace in NYC, which traumatized me. I still think about it occasionally.

12.  What lessons have you learnt from C-19?

Nothing, except to double down on what I was already inclined to do.

13. What values do you live by?

Family first. Prioritize work and my peace of mind. Try to tune out the negativity and craziness of other people.

14. What is your favorite movie?

Doctor Zhivago.

15. Whom have you loved unconditionally?

Only my children.

16. Your dreams in life?

Happy, healthy children. Being financially secure. Writing a lot!

17.   Do you like citrus flavoring?

Yes to lemon and lime. Not a fan of orange usually. Pineapple is good with coconut.

18.   What is your remedy for the hiccups?

Holding my breath.

19.   Are you lucky?

I think “luck” happens when I’m careful to avoid doing stupid things. So, it depends on the day… 🤣🍀

20.   Barefoot or wearing something on your feet?

I like socks!

~*~

Images from Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Changes… [socs]

Changing things up by choosing the challenging block editor to format this post. Will it check out okay or turn into a chaotic disaster? We shall see! I’m a bit scared in starting this new chapter of bloggery, but sometimes you can’t be a chicken and you have to simply charge ahead and cross that channel. Choices make our characters, right? I don’t want to be chained to the classic editor if this one is better and all it takes is a simple leap of faith (off my lazy chair) to learn a few new tricks to get the hang of it. Cheers!

~*~

Image found on Google.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Housesweeping

Hey bloggity friends! I took the opportunity of all this downtime to do blog admin tasks, and one that was overdue was a cleanup of my followed blogs. I had some bloggers in there that hadn’t posted anything in over two years. Yikes! 😱

I’ve swept out around 150 blogs now and may take another look tomorrow. Part of my rationale also is interaction ~ if I didn’t recognize a blogger’s name because they never bother to come over here and leave a comment, I may have given them the hose. I’m not one to find it fun to trail after a “celebrity” trying to get them to notice me.

Again, this blog isn’t monetized. I do this for fun, writing inspo, and interaction. It’s not my mission to pile up likes and follows. I’m happy when I get comments on a post is what. Likes are great too… I like posts sans commenting at times. But not all the time. Now, with fewer blogs in my feed, I’ll have more time to comment!

If I’ve mistakenly unfollowed you, please let me know… by leaving a comment. 🤣

~*~

Image from Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Comfort Food

I posted (yesterday, I think) in reply to a Q that I enjoy cheesy scrambled eggs with sautéed mushrooms on the side, and ever since I’ve been craving that. Tonight I made them both with a mini salad.

Yes, the mushrooms dominate the plate. I haven’t had any for a while and my plan to save half for tomorrow didn’t work out. 🤣

I need to buy more spices. I tossed almost all of mine when I moved last December because they were so ancient, and all I had for flavoring was S&P and ginger. Since then, I haven’t cooked much. But now I’m in the mood.

It was fun! I thought I had set off the smoke alarm at one point, but it was only an Amber Alert coming in on my phone. This was probably the first alert in lockdown, and I’d forgotten about them. At least now I’ve figured out where my kitchen fan button is located. 🙄

Tune in again in a few hours for Thursday Inspiration!

~*~

Image is mine.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

I So Lay Ted World

Melanie has gifted us with some Q’s…

What do you do to get rid of stress?

I’ve been working on avoiding stress because once invited in, it’s tough to boot out the door. As I’ve said many times, I gave up a huge source of stress by quitting dating sites in 2016. I’m also more careful to avoid other activities and events that create anxiety, such as last minute travel, big concerts, loud parties, etc. And I know it sounds silly, but I also get easily stressed out from unfamiliar locations and parking problems, so I’m cautious of those as well.

But what if all that fails and I get stressed? Welp. I would want to be home or get home ASAP. Familiar surroundings are important to calm me down. I’d want to change into comfy warm clothes, make tea, lock the door, and be in silence to decompress. I’d probably play some word and card games on my phone to have something soothing to do. Then I might “self-talk” through the situation, pace, cry, rant, call a daughter, rinse, repeat as necessary. Hopefully, I’d have a day to myself to process whatever thing this was.

In the past people were buried with the items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?

Pierce Brosnan. ❤️

What’s the opposite of a koala?  (this is strictly for fun.  I know what I came up with as an answer, but it was nonsensical.   Alaok.  See?   It’s okay to pass on this one too if you want)

Well… a koala is a gentle tree-dwelling vegetarian, so the opposite of that would be a vicious water-dwelling carnivore… I’ll say shark. There are others though, if anyone is offended that sharks are unfairly singled out. We can go with barracuda then. They both have songs about them, which is nice. Idk if there’s a song about a koala, but I bet Jim would know! 🙂

What’s the creepiest tech out there?  (My interpretation of “tech” is app or program.  If you know what “tech” is supposed to mean, hey!  Great!   Educate us.

Facebook. It has all the creepies ~ trackers to know where you are and what you’re doing, ads shoveled at you every second, face recognition software, conversation recording, “oopsie we stole/sold all your data & promise never to again” my bads, fake news, fake profiles, conspiracy groups, scammers allowed to flourish, hackers, trolls, etc. But you have to be on, I know, or how else would you know what your third cousin twice removed is up to?

What method are you using to find your smile right now?   Please explain in detail so others might utilize the same ideas.   Some bloggers have shared a daily (weekly sometimes) method that they are using to keep their spirits up right now.   I’d love to hear from anyone who does and is successful at it!    Have a great week and stay safe!

My spirits are not “up.” I find this whole ordeal scary and unpleasant, though I totally understand the necessity of doing isolation until this thing is more under control. The best I can hope for on any given day is to keep up with the chores and writing goals I’ve set for myself, stick with good habits, and try to avoid stress (such as arguing with anyone). Neutral days are fine for now. Good days will come again later when I can visit my family again.

Personally, I find it helpful to read small bits of news when I’m in the mood for an update, and not just about :the thing: but also cute aminal stories too. I avoid live news, most especially any clips of babbling politicians. Listening to a press conference would spin me into an insta depression. 🤮

~*~

Images credited to Bitmoji, Pexels, and idk.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Pandemic Blogging Q’s

Dr. Tanya has some new blogging about bloggers who blog questions for us…

1. How has the Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic affected your blogging? Are you posting more or less than you used to?

I think I’m posting about the same amount, which is once or twice per day. Sometimes I go nuts and make a third post! This is a big cut from a year or so ago when I posted more frequently, but has nothing to do with the virus. I’ve just been making an overall effort to read more books and work on my own backlog of writing ideas.

2. What is the tone of your posts these days, happy, sad, serious, worried?

In general, online and offline, in Blogland and in chats, I’m more serious, less funny, more sensitive, and sadder and crabbier. I haven’t been sleeping well and am greatly negatively affected by having my M-F daily routine of going to the office upended. I don’t do well just drifting through the day aimlessly without feeling useful and productive. Setting cleaning and writing targets doesn’t help, since I have those goals regardless. I don’t need advice, thx.

3. Have you written any posts specifically about the crisis and its effect on your life? If so, please share a link?

I began a series I thought might be amusing about staying home. It wasn’t fun. First, a bunch of other people were saying similar things, so it was boring. Second, right after I began, they closed the beach parking lots, so I couldn’t go walking there and take nice pics, etc. Third, it started to make me more depressed. I decided to abandon the idea.

4. What kinds of posts do you like to read these days? 

My favorite type of posts haven’t changed: good poetry, interesting flash fiction, slices of life that are relatable or quirky or funny. I also enjoy some photo and recipe posts.

The posts I dislike remain the same: links to news articles, copypasta of other people’s writing with little to no original comment, bloggers telling me how I should feel about whatever thing ~ in particular, during this pandemic, I refuse to read posts that insist we should be grateful and thankful when the person posting is not in isolation all alone. Try that for a month and get back to me with the motivational poster bloggery.

~*~

Images are not mine.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.