Tag Archives: FPQ

Fandango No. 5 [FPQ]

It’s like Chanel No. 5, only a lot cheaper and won’t trigger a migraine.

So here’s this week’s provocative question (actually three questions):

“Is there a ‘blogging-you’ who is different from the real-world you? If so, how are the two ‘yous’ different? How has the ‘blogging-you’ evolved since you first started blogging?”

Yes. I am different here, but not just in Blogville.

There is an online-me who is somewhat different from meatspace-me. In the real world, I’m a small, older woman and I’ve been alone for many years. I have no one to back me up, physically, financially, emotionally, etc. So, I’m very careful. Extremely cautious. I am known as kind, sweet, helpful, by most. In fact, when people have met me in person after knowing me online for a while, they said I’m a lot nicer than they thought I’d be.

Online, I feel freer to state my opinions, to make jokes about whatever thing. To diss our horrible POTUS whenever I please, no matter who is around. I dgaf about people’s delicate feelings, nor do mine get hurt easily here. It’s words on a screen. Move on if you don’t like what you read. I do. I block racists on Twitter; I don’t cry over them. I also feel free to say no, to not do things I don’t want to, to simply fucking ignore irritating people, to ghost them, to delete, to mock, to parody… and there were years I used to troll the trolls. I’ve quit that though.

In meatspace, I don’t do most of that ever. I only make jokes when I am comfy with my audience. I did do a few rounds of stand-up comedy at a venue I felt okay about ~ it was tame comedy, relatively speaking. I usually don’t ignore people. I say thank you and no thank you and sorry, even to bums asking for money. If the gross guy dumpster diving at my apartment complex says good morning, I say it back. I try not to make enemies. I try very hard not to make anyone angry or displeased. When I fail, which is rare but it happens, I feel bad. Online, I don’t care.

Sometimes it turns out that characters on the screen and real people occupy the same space in the Venn diagram intersection, which can be tricky for me to deal with. It’s hard to go back and forth, and I haven’t fully mastered that task, since I am also a character of my own creation, continually evolving, except exactly the same person since I was 14 years old. Paradox. I think only one of my readers will possibly be able to grok this paragraph. No, not you. 🙄

That’s two questions answered. As far as the third, I have become much more discreet since I began my first blog. I say waaay fewer personal things now, hard as that may be to believe. But those who were reading Ultrablog know. Plus even this blog had much more daily life type stuff for a while. It’s not that I’m paranoid now, but more that my life has become such a bore there’s simply nothing to say.

I’m not complaining. You can have the “interesting life” fortune c00kie. After the drama I’ve had, I prefer boringness.

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Does my butt make my blog look fat? [FPQ]

Fernando presents another provocative question for our rumination (moo!)…

“Is it better to know or is it better to not know?”

If you choose to participate, write a post with your response to the question. Once you are done, tag your post with #FPQ and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

And most important, have fun.

My answer… it depends! If we’re talking about facts, then it’s better to know. I don’t want data kept from me, do you? Unless it’s a matter of national security, I want the truth out there. Transparency, baby. I don’t want information deleted, redacted, hidden, buried, omitted, glossed over, lied about, etc. Just give me the facts.

But if we’re talking about feelings, then that’s a different thing. I’m not of the school that all feelings need to be expressed ~ that’s a hippy dippy concept and I don’t buy it. My parents believed it, and I witnessed firsthand how destructive it was. No, you will not implode if you don’t blurt out every nasty thought that pops into your head. Have some self-control! I don’t need to know if you think I’m a silly boring vain obsessed cat lady ~ just unfollow me and move on with your life. Easy peasy.

There’s a topical piece of news relevant to our discussion: a substitute teacher in NJ was just fired for telling a bunch of little kids there is no Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. Parents were horrified she spoiled the “magic” of Christmas for their “innocent” children by um telling them the truth, and they had to fix things by doubling down on the lying, I guess.

Personally, I find it hilarious and sad. I think the teacher was wrong and possibly stupid. Why would she do that? Everyone knows how nutty some parents are about this stuff ~ I experienced it myself when I mentioned the Santa “myth” in what I thought was an adults only Usenet group and people freaked out because some of them had little kids peeking in. But a teacher, directly saying it to kids? Weird.

A huge number of parents do begin their children’s lives by promulgating this massive Santa lie (along with those others), and get enraged if anyone spoils it early, while simultaneously insisting on truth as a high value. Eventually the kid finds out the truth about Santa and knows his parents made it all up, etc. I’m not sure how that’s reconciled with “don’t lie to me!” because I wasn’t lied to about magical beings nor did I lie to my kids.

But… to each their own. 🎅

FPQ3: Morality

Fandango has another provocative question for us:

“Is morality objective or is it subjective? If you believe it’s objective, what is its source? If you believe it’s subjective, how do you know whose concept of morality is correct?”

I believe all morality is subjective. It’s a human construct, something a group of people decide to agree upon. There is no ultimate source for it, other than this agreement, though it does make some people feel better to believe there is. Belief in a higher source also motivates many people to behave in ways that are more beneficial to the survival of the group as a whole, so there’s that. Of course this can be taken too far because people are nutz, but what can you do?

As far as whose view is correct, that assumes a premise that there is a “correct” moral system. I think we just adapt to the culture we’re born into and view that system as more or less the right one, or occasionally we rebel entirely, step outside it, and join a new one. Then we turn into obnoxious zealots, like former smokers*, which is gross. 🤮

Here’s something you can ask yourself about morality and a supreme being. Does it (whatever it is) please God because it is good, or is it good because it is pleasing to God?

Let’s use a real example so we’re not talking in all abstractions like some kinda ivory tower woosicles. I think we can all agree that God must love kittens else he wouldn’t have made them so cute, amirite?

But do kittens please God because they are cute? Or are they cute because they please God? To my mind, it’s the first answer, which means we can then search for other reasons beyond “pleasing to God” that give kittens their cuteness, like their big eyes in their widdle faces, their sweet noses, their triangly ears, their sudden pouncyness, their wiggly tails, their soft soft furs n paws 🐾… and so much more. Maybe that’s why God likes them too, who knows. He made them that way, maaaybe to please himself, but in any case they still have these separate qualities.

Some would take an opposing view and say that all things pleasing to God by definition are good ~ that he only loves things with the best qualities, like kittens ~ so if he tells us, via his handy dandy book written by people, to love a thing (or not, as the case may be), you can just use that as a shortcut and not have to think about it further. But duh then what would we need blogs for? We could just go shitpost stupid things to Facebook. 🙄

*Former smoker right here.

IQ vs Wisdom [FPQ]

Fandango provocatively asks:

“What do you think is more useful: intelligence or wisdom, and why [do] you feel that way?”

I don’t have to guess or philosophize about this ~ I can speak from direct experience. I have a high IQ. I’m not bragging; it’s just a fact. I always did super great in school and killed it on achievement tests. So, where did that get me? Nowhere. Well, it made my mommy happy. But I have a record of colossally poor decisions outside of the academic environment. Why? Probably a combination of being a little bit sheltered despite having lived in big cities, harboring a weird attraction to mentally disturbed men, and being too quick to trust and forgive peeps.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began seriously breaking with my bad habits of the past and making better decisions. This wasn’t due to my IQ, which hadn’t helped before, but because I had gained wisdom via experience. “They” say good judgment comes from making mistakes and it’s true, but having more skool smartz sure didn’t prevent me from having a shit ton of bad judgment.

If I’d had a choice, I would have traded 20 IQ points for better judgment early on because I say wisdom is more useful.

Opposite Sex Day [FPQ]

Fandango asks the provocative question what we would do if we could be the opposite sex for one day.

Me, I would find it the most interesting to do exactly the same things as I normally do and see how people treat me differently, or if they do.

Forex, I often compliment the server in my favorite coffee place when she has a new manicure because she gets super pretty, elaborate ones. If I did this as a man, would she say thanks as usual, or hesitate cuz it now seems weird and/or creepy to make a comment?

People generally hold doors for me ~ would they do this if I were a man?

However, people also seem to cut me off a lot in traffic. Maybe they wouldn’t if a manly face was behind the wheel. I’d like to know!

Same with lines. The same person (man or woman) who holds the door will step in front of me in line. I bet if I were a man they wouldn’t.

These are the little things I think it’d be fun to discover.

Of course, according to a certain orange slush for brains, I would also vote twice.