Spoils of War [fanfic 225]

“Wot the Seven Hells is that?” Patryck stared at the tattered and stained document his commanding officer had spread out on the wooden table.

“It’s the new map. They’ve divided up the lands all different now since the Day of the Dragon.” The commander looked down as he spoke. They were silent for a moment in memory of that horror. All present had lost many loved ones in the firestorm.

Foxcroft poked at the map. “That blue there is where the Iron Islands are just as before. I heard Yara got away from King’s Landing in a hurry.”

“Almost as if she knew.” Patryck said. “You think the Dragon Queen warned her?”

The commander shrugged. “Can’t trust a foreign usurper. But they didn’t seek any advice from seasoned military men, only imps and eunuchs.”

“Where are we headed?” Foxcroft asked, which was the question on everyone’s mind.

“New orders have arrived by raven,” the commander announced. “Danger stalks our wise one and he has seen his own death in a vision. Note where the red river diverts at the yellow marking. We go there to Eagles Nest to guard his nephew. Be ready to leave at first light.”

The men nodded and drank, oblivious to the presence of the new servant, a plain girl from abroad, who was listening closely while she served them ale.

~*~

Via Rorschach Test

The Most Important Lesson from GOT

***WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GAME OF THRONES’ SPOILERS!***

It’s sport for GOT fans to mercilessly drag every episode of this last season, in gory detail, and I agree with the main criticism ~ the ending is rushed. The show runners spent 7 long seasons setting up an intricate story, and now they’re zooming to finish, stuffing two wars into three episodes out of six, and leaving lots of loose ends.

Meanwhile, I’m basically enjoying the eps, besides wishing there would have been more of them. I don’t share the common criticism that the plot twists and character arcs are “unearned.” The first seasons generally followed the books, so if you’d read them, you weren’t shocked by twists. Ned’s beheading was accepted because those of us who read the books knew it was coming, but normally the sudden death of a beloved character early on would have generated criticism from fans.

So, when I read today that people are upset about Varys’ death, I roll my eyes. The dude was a great character, but he was always plotting and scheming against rulers, and it was inevitable one would discover it and kill him. You have to wonder why it took so long really, except for the fact that he was smarter than all of them. Littlefinger was also, but Varys was not evil and selfish, so he caught more breaks. Both men were lucky they lasted as long as they did.

People who are carrying on today about Daenerys going “mad” haven’t been paying attention. She has stated all along that she was going to take what was hers “with fire and with blood.” She has torched people throughout the show, but that was okay with us because we didn’t like them. Her character has been stable, her mission unchanged, and her vision focused on one goal.

If you want to pick apart the military strategy of Euron and his crew, I get that. One day he takes out a dragon with his first shot and sinks the entire opposing navy; in the next encounter, he’s totally inept. What the hell happened there? Gotta say though I enjoyed his rambunctious battle to the death with Jaime. Good stuff, though I did think Euron would have mentioned the baby he thinks is his. Might have thrown Jaime off-balance.

Okay, so Jaime fooking Lannister, amirite? People are yelling about his character arc. Pffft, I say. You know what? It’s perfect. The more I think about it, the more perfect it is. Here we have a handsome, spoiled, rich jerk who is in love with his sister and does horrible things for a long time. Some of these things he does for her and some he does just because he’s an arrogant ass.

Then, Jaime gets captured, tortured, and has his comeuppance and epiphany. He begins to be a slightly better person. He sees that he could maybe love a woman who isn’t a monster and be loved in return. He could fight for the people instead of his shitty family name. Some of his interior ugliness is replaced with goodness.

But then… then… bratty, snotty Sansa (more about her in a sec), says nyah we’ve taken King’s Landing and your sis is gonna die! Jaime immediately reverts to form, dumps his new sweet love and breaks her heart, and gallops back to his wicked twin. Why?

Because people don’t change!

That’s the lesson here, folks. And it’s a good and important one. Dany never changed, not one iota. Jaime appeared to change, but he didn’t really. And what about Sansa, who began as a pretty wounded bird and allegedly turned into a strong confident woman? Nah fam. She’s still a petty, snide, gossipy bitch. Dishonest and backstabbing.

Jon/Aegon never changed either. He can’t help but be a noble, relentlessly honest lump of boring. Tyrion is still the same brilliant little scamp who puts his family first no matter how terrible they are. And he does sometimes back the wrong horse, especially when it’s very pretty. Sandor had one main mission in life, and though he did get sidetracked with other tasks along the way, ultimately he refocused on his goal, the Cleganebowl.

Arya? Let’s see what she does in the final ep. Any predictions? I admit I was wrong when I predicted Jaime would kill Cersei, and I’m glad to be wrong. I love that they stuck to the “people don’t change” theme instead, and decided to ignore Maggie’s prophecy. Now, the prediction is that Arya will kill Dany. I don’t know… What do you think?

Thanks for reading all this!

More Things I Hate

I see it’s up to me to break up the syrupy brunch of Mommy Day posts full of flowers and pancakes and goopity goo, mm yes please I would like another mimosa hold the OJ thanks…

What was I saying? Oh! Yes, things I hate. Let’s start with slide. No, I’m not talking about those things in the park next to the swings. I’m talking about the absolutely enraging expression “it was a slide into the DMs.” If you haven’t been living under a rock, you know that this is the stupid way young people describe encountering one another privately on a social media site for romantic/ sexual purposes.

In other words, he sent her a message.

For fuck’s sake. We already have normal words like message, text, and email. We don’t need this idiotic slide thing. It drives me bananas.

Next up is drop. This is a word we use in its appropriate sense all the time as in these examples:

1. He drops women after three dates.

2. Don’t drop the baby, Grandma!

3. I dropped the package off at FedEx.

In the past, we had a perfectly good word to describe the action of an artist releasing a new piece of work, whether a song, album, book, painting, etc. We used the word release, in fact! But now these irritating people are using the word drop just to annoy me.

“My single dropped at midnight.”

It sounds like code for a spy operative. “The dog didn’t bark?”

“No, he was poisoned by the double agent.”

“Funny, I thought you were the double agent.”

“Well, actually–”

😡😡😡

Even more things I hate coming soon!

Priorities [flash 61]

Jake stood at the command center. “Officer Liam, proceed to navigate this ship away from star base now.”

“Aye, Captain.” Liam brought down the hammer and commented, “It’s cloudy.”

Jake frowned. “What is that large, slow-moving object behind us?”

“It’s Mom,” their mother said. “I told you kids to clean up the family room before you began playing spaceships again.”

Tick Tock [flash 99]

I don’t believe in denial or dime store philosophy. You age regardless of how you feel about aging. Death has you in its crosshairs no matter how much time and money you spend covering up the signs of years gone by. It’s great if you keep active, eat healthily, and dream more dreams, but the calendar still flips a page every 24 hours just as it does for the people with bad habits. Will you have more pages than the couch potatoes? Maybe, but no guarantees. Stop acting so superior! You just don’t know how much time is left.

~*~

Carrot Ranch 99 Words Challenge

Escape [flash 261]

Kevin never had been good with rope, which is why he killed his lawyer with a nice clean punch to the throat.

Next, he stole the dead man’s clothes, swiftly switching his prison garb for the distinguished navy blue suit, white shirt, and red tie. Kevin slipped on the brown wingtips, not bothering with socks. He was in a hurry.

Kevin patted his new pockets, making sure he had the lawyer’s ID and car keys–some things, you couldn’t skimp on. Lastly, he removed the Rolex from the dead man’s wrist. It was a fine piece, but alas not for him. He passed it to the guard on his way out. That guy had some bad habits.

In the parking lot, Kevin discreetly beeped the e-key until a vehicle responded. Ah, a Lexus. Nice. His disposition was cheerful as he found his favorite radio station and exited the visitor’s gate. Stomping on the gas, he made a zigzag down the empty road as he continued his escape.

But suddenly blue lights flashed behind him at the next stop and Kevin was forced to pull over. Remembering he had the lawyer’s ID, he forced himself to stay calm as he showed the officer the registration from the glovebox and the driver’s license.

“What’s the problem, Officer?” Kevin asked calmly. “I’m late to a meeting.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” The policeman looked at the license and then at Kevin. “But your tags are expired and you don’t look anything like this photo. When did you shave your head and get the cobra tattoo?”

~*~

Yarn [flash 172]

Sterling Q. Posh IV waited next to the fish tank at the library for his date. Her name was Skye Raine and he didn’t think they were a match, but the dating site had given them a score of 99.9, and Sterling didn’t argue with numbers. Oh, here she was… finally.

“Hi!” Skye said. “Have you been waiting long? Ooh, hello fishies!”

“Twenty-three minutes,” Sterling said. “I like your poncho. It’s quite… colorful.”

“Thanks!” She twirled around so he could see the poncho in its full glory. “I made it myself. Some of the stitches on this were difficult, but I was very tenacious.”

“May I be forthright?” Sterling asked.

“Of course.”

He leaned in close and whispered. “I also enjoy crocheting. And knitting too. In fact, there’s nothing better than an evening in with a bowl of buttered noodles, a detective show on TV, and my basket of yarn. Except of course someone to share those pleasures with.”

Skye clapped her hands with glee. “Me too! This must be fate!”

Weekly Prompts ~ Food Cravings

My tastes haven’t changed much since I was 14, not in food or anything else really. I guess that’s sad in some ways, if you’re the type of person who believes that life should be about growth and change. Or maybe I’m just true to who I am, a girl who’s partial to grilled cheese, word games, and men with British accents. 🇬🇧

(No, that doesn’t mean I want to play Guess the Blogger with scrambled letters and obscure clues to people I don’t follow! 🙄)

So, decades later, when I crave things, it’s still the same things. Cheesy noms like mac and cheese, pizza, nachos, quesadillas, etc.

Equally, I have yearnings for the sweet side of the buffet. Chocolate chip cookies, PB cookies, lemon bars, cupcakes, pumpkin or key lime pie with graham cracker crust…

I’m not a chocoholic though and don’t usually crave chocolate by itself, though I do love homemade chocolate chip cookies, which is why I put them first. If people ask me which kind of cake is my favorite, I’ll say coconut ~ my standard answer since I was a kid.

Around once or twice a year I crave a big juicy cheeseburger from 5 Guys or In-N-Out. I usually don’t have the patience for the In-N-Out line though. This is how you can tell I was born in New York: always in a hurry, even when there’s nowhere to go.

~*~

Weekly Prompts

Commute [fiction 270]

It was a day like any other day. Greg took the express ferry from the city across the bay to where his car waited in the lot. Then he’d drive home around the winding mountain roads. But tonight the sky swirled with dark clouds, and the water churned like a bubbling sauce. Most people moved away from the rails and huddled under the shelter of the tarp.

It wasn’t raining though, and Greg disliked being in a crowd. He stayed at the rails, watching the heaving waves. They were a deep, mysterious forest green right below him, and he glimpsed a twisting darker shape within. He tilted forward to get a closer look, and the wind whipped his baseball cap off his head. Greg saw it drop into the water around 20 feet away, gone for good.

Suddenly, an enormous creature surged out of the water. It had the head of an octopus but the spotted coloring of a big cat. Two of its thick, rubbery tentacles grasped the railing in front of Greg, and he leaped back, slipped, and fell on his butt.

One of the ferry workers approached and bopped the creature on the head with a pole. It let go of the railing and slipped back into the sea. “You okay?” the man said to Greg, helping him up.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Greg stared out at the water. “What the hell was that?”

“Lynx squid. They get enormous. It’s their prime mating season right now so they’re really active. They usually don’t come in the bay though.”

Greg stayed under the tarp for the rest of the ride.

~*~

Elemental writing challenge: water/mysterious

Skirts [flash 127]

“Frank, I’m concerned about the amount of turnover we’re experiencing in the skirt department,” Jane said, frowning at the first quarter report. “It costs a lot of money to train new employees.”

Frank tried to soothe the VP’s concerns. “We’re trying to get these new employees to participate more in social events. That way we’ll feel more like one big happy family.”

Jane glared at him. “Frank, your job is to sell skirts, not teach the world to sing like in some sappy ad. I want results! And I don’t want to wait until fourth quarter.”

“You’ll get them,” Frank said confidently. “In fact, we’re having a fun modeling show next week to show off our summer skirts. You should join in, Jane. You’ve got great legs.”

~*~