The madman didn’t pause because tonight was the night. Everything he had planned would come to fruition before the sun rose. Yes, he knew he was moonstruck with the power he had stolen, but the ultimate goal was now within reach and there was nothing to stop him. He reached for the device to broadcast one last final lie to the population that remained in thrall to his every word.
However, from a tiny shed on the edge of the world, the teenaged hacker began the program to stop him.
“This is a very special property,” Bob the broker told the prospective buyers. “You’re basically sequestered with lots of privacy. Only a tiny percentage of homes have such a large back yard.”
Henry the husband nodded enthusiastically. “I can definitely imagine taking a snooze back here by the tranquil koi pond. Why does the owner want to sell?”
Bob made a sad face. “She decided to move back to Japan. Her husband died suddenly and she wants to be with her family.”
“I love it!” Wendy the wife exclaimed. She walked around the back yard and stopped at the pond to peer into it. “Oh look, Henry. Their Halloween display must have fallen in. It’s a man with a knife in his back.”
Photo prompt and the words Japan, tranquil, and koi provided by The Haunted Wordsmith.
The woman adjusted her coats and walked around behind the park bench where she’d just spent the night. She yelled across the grass, “Get out! You don’t belong here!”
But the man walking his dog was too far away to hear her.
The woman didn’t like dogs. Or cats. Or little children. They were mean and stared at her. Sometimes they touched her cart. Grownups knew not to do that. She made scary faces at the kids in hopes they would quit coming near her. She didn’t need any trouble.
She rearranged the bags in her cart so they were in a pattern that pleased her. Then she began to talk, at first in a mutter and then louder:
“No one knows, but we will orchestrate the dance. We will choose our own music and it will be beautiful! There will be roses and cakes. And everything will fall down. Then they will see. We won’t be silent forever. Not when the music begins. They will be naked and they will listen to us!”
A young woman jogged past, and the older woman gripped her cart and screamed, “You will listen when the houses fall! You won’t ignore us when you’re lying in the mud with the dogs!”
But the jogger had earbuds in and missed the entire Shopping Cart Soliloquy.
Random pic of bird in HB Central Park.
It’s easy to be funny on the fly ~ most of us have come up with a zinger or three and cracked up our friends. I do it pretty often, but a lot of my jokes fail, especially in text. Imagine being funny for 5 minutes straight or 10 or 30… think that’s easy? No, it’s not.
Beware of the man who insists he’s funny all the time and humor is easy for him. They are manipulative and scary. There’s a reason why so many people are terrified of clowns ~ I’m not, but I get it. When you don’t laugh at the clown, he gets angry, very angry. It’s never his failure to be funny; it’s always you not getting it.
I love parody, but it has to be good. Crappy parody makes me cringe. I’ll give you an example. I think Alec Baldwin’s parodies of Trump on SNL are crappy. They’re simply imitating Trump’s stupidity, not adding any dimension to it. When someone came out portraying Bannon as Darth Vader? That was great parody! Larry David’s parody of Bernie Sanders had me on the floor. So effing funny.
One of my favorite parodies of all time is the film Analyze This! It gently mocks the entire mob movie genre, starring Robert DeNiro as a caricature of all the mob guys he’s ever played. I love it so much. Billy Crystal is wonderful as the straight-man psychiatrist.
I love language-centered humor and wordplays. I find a lot of country music has super funny lyrics, which is why I roll my eyes at peeps who dismiss it outright. Have you ever heard “She’s Got a Way with Words” by Blake Shelton? Omg hilarious!
The best kind of humor imo is the kind that’s intertwined with the story, not the focus of it, but inevitable, despite drama and trauma, because ~ let’s face it ~ you have to laugh at the absurdity of life lest you go completely bonkers.
Or you can do both. Some people are better at multitasking than otters.
Posted in Fun, Movies, Music, Noodling, TV, Writing
Tagged celebs, fiction, FOWC, language, philosophy, politics, psychology, reviews
Writing in wordbursts for NaNo has already helped to clarify something in my current story. At first, I thought I’d go back and forth chronologically. I begin with a phone call alerting the protag to her brother’s death. Then I go back 20 years to when her brother introduced her to her soulmate. Then up I go for the funeral. Then back to loverboy. Up, back. I assumed I’d continue this format to the end even though it’s unwieldy.
But noooo! It’s confusing. And possibly annoying to the reader. I had an epiphany today. When I go back the first time, I’m gonna stay back and finish the whole love connection dealio, then pop up to the present where everything gets tangled into a ginormous ghostball.
As I said, I’ve no desire to edit. I conquered that danger by poasting my writing in a secret blargh. No editing. Nope. All good. (Biting edity fingers.)