Threesomes! (with pics)

Cee’s fun photo challenge this week is to post pics of things in threes or the number 3. I found a few…

Rainbow Kitty Sock Smile

Trent says our Weekly Smile can be anything, large or small, and mine is pretty darned small this week. Sometimes I don’t even participate because I have nothing to say and that’s not because I’m sad; it’s cuz my days are samey same, no highs or lows, and that’s how I like them. I hate surprises and I don’t crave adventure or excitement. It’s all too stressful.

Anyway, last week I lost a sock in the laundry, which made me upset. First, I can’t stand misplacing things. It drives me crazy. Second, I hate the thought of being one of those sloppy people who leave things behind in dryers (cue Revenge of the Lost). But I unfolded and shook out all my clean clothes and no sock. To top off the misery, it wasn’t just any old boring sock, but a rainbow kitty sock.

I was resigned to this tragedy of epic proportions, determined somehow to slog on like the trooper I am. I suppose I’ve survived worse things. Once I made a carrot cake for game night and it didn’t get done in the middle ~ that was pretty terrible. But still! There are always more carrot cakes… what was I supposed to tell the sock waiting patiently for her mate? Just gone out for a walk, no worries. He’ll be back! She was getting suspicious.

But then Monday morning I was leaving for work, glanced into the laundry room, and what did I see? The rainbow kitty sock just lying there on the bench as casual as you please! Hey wassup? I grabbed him and stuck him in my purse. Yayyy!!!!! 😀💕🎉

Symmetry is restored.

Fashion Q’s from You Know Who

Rory’s at it again, folks! 😂

Today’s topic is ………….. The Fashionastas!

Could you cope with buying no clothes for a full year?

I guess so… 😢

How many pairs of coloured/patterned socks do you possess?

Lots!

What is YOUR number one fashion rule?

Visible items must match.

What is the quirkiest customised outfit you have ever worn and where and what for did you wear it?

I dressed like an elf for a Christmas party a few years ago and won a prize.

In your opinion what are 5 basic but important items of clothing?

Black pants, black tee shirt, white tee shirt, turquoise sweater, black jacket.

Ok, so Flares? Once popular for the 70’s sure …. but where are they now?

Hopefully making cozy bedding for endangered tiger cubs or something.

Which are your best three quotes that mean the most to you with regards fashion/clothing/lifestyle?

I like what I like.

I don’t care what’s in style.

I want to be warm.

You obviously have favourite colours you enjoy wearing, we all do – but if you were asked to wear the opposite colours to what you normally wear what would those colours be?

Bright red, bright orange, lemon yellow.

What are the wrong trousers to wear like ever?

For me, any that hit between knee and ankle. 😝

What is your favourite style of nightwear from the following options?

Baggy T-Shirt, boxers/long Johns

Ridiculous looking Pyjamas

Nothing as in bare all over

Sexy attire – you know the naughty stuff

Other – regular clothes mostly. What if there’s an earthquake and I have to run outside?

For you what one single musical track just speaks fashion to you?

Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”

The celebrity whose style you most identify with from the following?

Melissa McCarthy

Jack Nicholsan

Clarke Gable

Halle Berry

Meryl Streep

Lady Gaga

Charlie Chaplain

Gene Kelly

Other – Diane Keaton (always cold and layered up).

Would you wear stripes with squares?

It depends on colors and actual design.

Which out of the following line up are you most likely to wear?

Heels, Boots, Flats, Loafers, Sneekers, Brogues, Thongs [Flip Flops], Running Shoes*, sandals, Wedges, Slippers, Lace Ups, Decks, Wellingtons, Riding Boots, Mules, Ankle Boots, Boat shoes, Chukkas, Chelsea Boot, Slips ons?

*I have a great pair of running shoes I wear for walking. They’re turquoise!

Are hats your thing? If so which styles?

I love cute hats! Mostly I wear them for costumes though.

For women; last time you wore a scarf and for men; last time you wore a tie?

I wore a scarf last week ~ it was turquoise!

Have you ever physically suffered for the sake of a fashion trend?

When I was younger, I’d wear high heels to look sexy, even when they hurt my feet or back. I refuse to do that now. I also would tolerate being cold so my cute outfit could be seen without a big lumpy jacket tossed over it, but I won’t do that now either. Pffft!

Yarn [flash 172]

Sterling Q. Posh IV waited next to the fish tank at the library for his date. Her name was Skye Raine and he didn’t think they were a match, but the dating site had given them a score of 99.9, and Sterling didn’t argue with numbers. Oh, here she was… finally.

“Hi!” Skye said. “Have you been waiting long? Ooh, hello fishies!”

“Twenty-three minutes,” Sterling said. “I like your poncho. It’s quite… colorful.”

“Thanks!” She twirled around so he could see the poncho in its full glory. “I made it myself. Some of the stitches on this were difficult, but I was very tenacious.”

“May I be forthright?” Sterling asked.

“Of course.”

He leaned in close and whispered. “I also enjoy crocheting. And knitting too. In fact, there’s nothing better than an evening in with a bowl of buttered noodles, a detective show on TV, and my basket of yarn. Except of course someone to share those pleasures with.”

Skye clapped her hands with glee. “Me too! This must be fate!”

Three of a Derp [100 words]

So, my likes have been light
And my comments are nil
Cuz I’m going away
To see my daughter and SIL.
But I thought I would post
To the pix prompt of three,
Then I saw I misread…
Oh whoops, woe is me!

*

Posting them anyway, nyah! I won’t include the prompt link, so my post will just float in the WP pool untethered to any other post, just like in the old days. Weird now though.

The idea was to take three photos of one subject in three ways, not have three subjects in a photo, but like whateverrr.

Show & Tell

Warning: this turned into a rambling pointless bunch of jabbering. More than usual. 😂

Melanie haz questions:

1. Was the last thing you read digital or print?

I’m not counting online “news,” since that’s like reading cereal boxes. Actually, it would probably be more informative to read cereal boxes (note to self: buy some Cap’n Crunch). The last book I read on my Kindle was Not Quite Dating, which I already reviewed for the alphablog and am now done with all those posts, yay! So, that leaves Us Magazine, which hits my mailbox every Saturday. Why? I dunno! I’m certainly not paying for it. Somehow, a free subscription has been gifted to me and it shows up every week. I spend a couple minutes paging through and then toss it. Can’t remember anything much about this one except the spread of celebs in their wine colored dresses. Every issue has two pages near the front with a clothing theme. I do like themes. Oh, Kate Hudson was in this issue too. She’s 40 and happy. I’m happy she’s happy cuz I like her.

2. Are you more an extrovert or introvert?

According to the definition, I’m an introvert. My friends also call themselves introverts, but they always want to get together, which I find curious. Shouldn’t they need to spend lots of time alone, as I do? Granted, I have been more social than normal lately due to Game of Thrones, but that’s temporary. It’ll be over in a month. There is something particularly compelling about the ending to this dramatic and complex show that makes it fun to watch and discuss with others. Most of the time however I have no need for that and prefer to watch things alone. I crave alone time to think and read and write in peace and quiet. It recharges me. Too much peopling makes me literally crazy and I feel the air getting so heavy with noise and vibration and other people talking moving breathing that my body will crush and implode if I don’t get away.

3. How is your life different from what you imagined as a younger person?

When I was a teenager, I imagined myself becoming a career-focused professional, possibly a scientist. I wasn’t dreaming of marriage and children, but that is what I did. Next, I assumed I’d be married for the rest of my life; when I divorced, I thought I should find someone else. It didn’t occur to me until relatively recently that I would spend my life alone, but now that I’ve accepted it, I’m fine. It might be the ideal state for me, even.

4. Do you think about dying?   Does death scare you?  Why or why not?

I think about it a lot. It used to terrify me ~ when it first hit me that I would die and be erased, I freaked out. I was 12 and in a car with my parents coming back to NJ after visiting peeps in Ohio. I knew earlier that I would die, of course, but the impact of the erasure didn’t affect me until that moment. I mentioned I was upset and my parents dismissed my concerns. For a long time, I was angry at them over this, but I’ve come to understand they did the best they could.

I didn’t sleep for a year ~ at least, this is how I remember it. I stumbled through the days, exhausted but somehow not letting on I had this enormous burden. And I must have slept some or I would have died or become ill, but I remember all that year lying awake utterly terrified, making words out of words in my head. My schoolwork wasn’t affected, so no one knew or cared.

Eventually, I grew to live with the bleak erasure knowledge. It’s what keeps me sympathetic to religious believers. Of course you would take the comfort of an afterlife option if it were intellectually available to you! You’d have to be nuts not to grab onto that if there were any way to make sense of it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it fit into my logical brainspace. I wish I could.

Lately though, I’m not so afraid any longer. Maybe it’s because I am just so damn tired of being in pain every day. At least that will stop, which is something to look forward to, blissful non-awareness of aches and migraines. I also won’t have to think about all the things I’ve failed to accomplish, what a freaking relief. Not to mention all the mistakes I’ve made, gahhh. All erased from MY mind, since there won’t be any more “my mind.” And if others criticize or gossip, I won’t know, so I won’t care. Nice!

Plus, things are getting old as I’m getting old. Samey same same same. Sure, I still enjoy stuff, but meh. As someone I once loved said: “Do I really care about seeing the millionth issue of the New York Times?”

It’s his birthday today, btw. Happy birthday to the man who broke my heart. Still much older than I am. Still living in a big lonely house with his wife and their money. Now we’re all unhappy, great.

5. Gratitude challenge: find something you are thankful for in nature.

California mountains and beaches and sunsets and flowers, of course…

The Cute Meet That Wasn’t

Last week I wore these bronze wedge shoes I hadn’t worn in months. I went downstairs to get the mail around 3PM and came back up on the elevator with a handsome man. Of course his face was buried in his phone. When I got off the elevator my shoe broke. What? I limped back to my office and took a photo of it, as you do.

I taped my poor shoe together with mailing tape until I got home, when I dumped them in the trash (and they weren’t even old!). But it occurred to me that if I were in a romance novel or a romcom, my shoe would have broken earlier so the cute man would have helped me. Maybe he would have taken me to his office where he had a special shoe stapling gun.

That’s not dramatic enough for a whole story though. Maybe he’d be a secret agent and ask me to hold a document for him. The next day, his office would be trashed and we’d have to go on the run. Naturally, I’d be wearing different shoes…

The Weekly Smile

This week’s smile is one of those theater masks 🎭 ~ but half of it is a smile, so it counts!

Let’s do the tragedy first so we can end on an upbeat note. I ordered a dress, along with some other stuff, for my daughter’s birthday in March and the dress didn’t fit, so we exchanged it for another one. Since the Dumb Company was only sending a dress, instead of packaging it up in a safe box to be left at my door, they squashed it up in a plastic bag, which the mailperson further squished into my mailbox.

When I retrieved the mail, the plastic bag had caught on the metal of the mailbox, tearing through it and the dress, making a hole in the fabric. I had to send it back again, as damaged this time, and request another one. I guess my March birthday girl is going to get her gift in May. 🙄

Around the same time, I separately ordered two packages of socks for myself from Amazon. I arrived home the other night and there was a giant box at my door. Hmm, I thought… what’s this? I opened it to find a bunch of bubble packs protecting my precious socks, which were in perfect pristine condition.

Say what you will about Amazon, they know how to ship their stuff without wrecking it. 👍🏻😀🎉

A New You — Finish the Story Challenge

This challenge was started by Teresa, The Haunted Wordsmith and then passed to Rory, A Guy Called Bloke. Rory passed the challenge on to Kristian, who passed it to me. [Note: I edited this paragraph to apply to me after Rory reblogged my post and noted that I’d kept Kristian’s wording.]

Here is Rory’s post:

Finish The Story 2019 – #8

and here is Teresa’s original post:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/13/finish-the-story-2019-8/

Finish The Story 2019 – #8

Tailoring A New You

The small shop sat on the corner of Houston and Parker for more than a century. Any piece of clothing a person ever needed could be found there. They even sold hand stitched underwear. The Frederickson family owned the shop from the day it opened, and everyone loved the family.
It wasn’t just the customer service, low prices, and great quality that brought customers back for generations – it was the other things the Fredericksons offered. They say a new pair of clothes can change a person, and at A New You, they meant it. One had to be careful when requesting a custom suit – you didn’t want to get your specifications wrong. Why, even one misplaced check mark could have dire consequences on a person’s future.
Take Emilio for example, he …
***
Part 2 – Rory from A Guy Called Bloke

Take Emilio for example, he … had listened to his Father Fausto for years, since indeed when he had been kneehigh to a grasshopper crediting and hailing the Fredericksons or as his Father pronounced it the Frederickshons for their exquisitery and finery in being able to produce something absolutely remarkable from sometimes the most staidest of cloth and if not that then there was this magical element to the garments, you didn’t just wear the suit, the suit wore you!
Fausto, had been a young man when he had first ventured into the German tailors at the bequest of his own Father Gregorio, Emilio’s Grandfather only armed with the words – ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover Fausto, this family are from a long line of magickal tailors. They enthuse the garments with not just love and beauty, nor experience and wisdom but if l didn’t know better, l would say with their very souls and blood, indeed it is almost like wearing another person’s skin, but in suit form. For the best suit anywhere in this world, this is the only place to be”
“The moment you slip inside the fabric, it’s almost like you are a different person. My last bit of advice is you must know what you and who you want and where you want to be in life? Then the master tailor Gunther he will make you a masterpiece of craftsmanship. There will never be anything like it ever again, it will be your one and only suit from the time you start your professional life to the day you stop working, then you MUST take off that suit and return it to the family of the Frederickshons, so that they can destroy it, do you understand what l am saying to Fausto?”
“I think so Father, yes.” Fausto answered rather confusedly.
When Fausto had gone to the family tailors he had been made a suit so fine, so fitting that he never needed another suit ever again in his life, he had wanted to be rich and successful and within a very short time Fausto had become one of the cities most sought out grocers. No one had fruits or vegetables of the quality that Fausto had. No one could ever outsell him, outbid him, outsmart or outfool him. After 50 years he had built up an empire of grocery stalls that was the best in all of the Americas! Fausto had wanted his favourite and only Son Emilio to take on the family business, but Emilio needed his own power suit, his own successful three-piece so he could follow in his Father’s footsteps ………
.….except Fausto hadn’t actually asked his Son what and if he wanted to follow in his Father’s shadow, or if he wanted to lead his own life?
Of course the truth had he been asked was indeed different – Emilio wanted his Sister Alessandra to take on her Father’s business. His Sister had always been keenly astute on that side of the business, she was very taken with fruits and vegetables and herbs, she was a fabulous cook, who knew all the right ingredients to make each dish spectacular – she was in her own rights their families best chef! You see Emilio, well he had other interests, and they didn’t involve cucumbers, broccoli or marrows – he used to play with bananas and pretend they were guns …. and even more recently he had made friends with Alphonse who had even bigger dreams. Alphonse had at one time been a Five Points Gang member and was shrewd, he was also closely associated with the notorious Johnny Torrio. Alphonse himself was a right ‘snorky’, and also used the Frederickshons for his own suits, but he had many made and needed more than one, for his many shades of personality and success. Snorky was the terms for ‘sharp dresser’ and Emilio wanted to be like Alphonse too!
The year was 1923, the location was Chicago and Emilio and Alphonse walked into the Frederickshons Tailors where Gunther upon seeing them, greeting them both, “Emilio, your Papa Fausto said you would be stopping by with your new friend, but l never knew, this was the type of suit you wanted!” Turning to Alphonse, “Mr Capone it is so good to see you again, a new suit is it?”
” Gunther, not at all, l want you to outfit my new boy here, Emilio, tell the man what you want?”
Emilio, smiled a big proud toothy grin and said …..

Part 3 – Kristian’s Addition

“I want to look drop dead gorgeous” Emilio said. He liked the ladies, but so far in his life, they seemed to realise he was a low life scumbag who liked gangs and violence and so stayed well away.

Unfortunately the Magical Tailor, Gunther, was become a trifle deaf. He was coming up to two hundred years old and was way past retirement age. Being slightly deaf, he failed to hear Emilio’s last word. You would have thought that it would have occurred to him that Emilio’s request was rather strange and therefore he must have misheard, but senility was creeping in, so he crafted the suit according to the very request he had heard.

Within a week of wearing it, Emilio had dropped dead.

The consequences of Gunther’s auditory and mental deterioration were even more drastically displayed when poor Tristram Van De Gould went in for a fitting.

He asked for a waistcoat that would make him appear slimmer, what he ended up with was a straightjacket that prevented him from eating at all. He died of an emptystomach.

If you thought things couldn’t get any worse, you were wrong because next……..

 

Part 4 ~ Paula’s Part

The taxicab stopped in front of the shop and a disparate group of Americans piled out. “Hey!” yelled the driver. “Someone needs to pay me!”

“Someone pay the poor guy, for Pete’s sake,” Bernie said. “What’s the matter with you people?” And he walked into the shop, bumping his head on the door. “Owww.”

“I’d love to pay him,” Kamala said, “but I gave all my money to that sweet little girl at the airport who said she was homeless.” She went into the shop too. Amy and Beto and Liz ran after her. “Wait for us!” they shouted.

Joe rolled his eyes. “Geez, I’ll pay him. I always get stuck with the check when I go out with those guys,” he said to the cabbie. “It’s just the weirdest thing!”

“I sympathize, buddy,” the cabbie said. “My in-laws are exactly the same. Have fun shopping.”

Trailing after the others into the shop, Joe found them already arguing with the suit maker, who was nearly deaf, apparently. Everyone was yelling. “CALM DOWN!” Joe shouted.

“I was here first,” Bernie insisted. “I should get to order my suit first.”

“Fine.” Amy plopped down in a chair. “I’ll just sit here and have some of their free juice. Can I drink it out of one of these shoes, Gunther?”

The ancient tailor heard his name and turned in her direction. “Ehh, no one here named Sue, honey. We have a Lucy, but she’s off today.”

“‘Scuse me!” Beto said. “But we don’t call women honey anymore. I got in trouble for making some jokes earlier, so now I intend to be an annoying sourpuss wherever I go. I think my suit should reflect my new personality of a serious man who has meditated deeply upon–”

Bernie waggled a finger in his face. “MY TURN MY TURN MY TURN!”

“Ahem,” Kamala said. “This is a perfect example of why we need a woman in charge. Men just feel so entitled to everything. It’s definitely time for women to show how things can be done in a more orderly and peaceful manner.”

“You hussy!” Liz cried. “You winked at my husband at the rally last month.”

“What are you talking about?” Kamala said. “Have you gone off the reservation again?”

“LOL!” Amy laughed, coughing on her shoe juice.

Beto tried so hard not to laugh he waved his arms around madly and knocked over a rack of ties. Joe picked them all up.

Liz showed Kamala a video on her phone. “See? There you are winking at my sweetie.”

“I was crying,” Kamala told her. “I have hay fever. I had to take a Benadryl.”

Gunther hobbled over and said, “Alrighty then, dearies. Who’s next? I’ve measured the men.”

Kamala went next. Liz said to Amy, “I don’t even know why we’re here. It seems so silly, but I didn’t want to be at a disadvantage when you all said you were getting these special suits made.”

“I know, right?” Amy shrugged. “They’re supposed to be magical, or something.”

“Hillary had a suit made here,” Joe said. “But then she didn’t wear it. I’m not sure why. I’d ask her, but she won’t talk to me anymore. Who can even understand women, am I right?”

They just glared at him. “Oopsy,” Beto said. “Uncle Joe needs to go for retraining. Perhaps some yoga.”

“What?” Joe looked around, bewildered. “What did I do?”

“This shop needs to unionize,” Bernie announced. “Who’s with me on that?”

Liz frowned. “I don’t see any employees, Bern. Plus, it’s another country. They don’t need your help.”

“Everyone needs my help!” Bernie waggled his finger at her.

Gunther finished up with Liz and Kamala, and now all six Americans had been measured and fitted for their custom suits. They had told Gunther exactly what their hopes were for the coming year and he would take that into account when designing their apparel. He tallied up the final bill and brought it back out to the front.

“All the suits should be ready in three weeks,” he said to the group. “I can have them air mailed for an additional fee, since I know everyone has to zip back across the pond to his and her busy lives. Now did you want separate cheques?”

Everyone looked at Joe. He sighed and took out his Amex. “No, I’ll put it on my card for the travel points. We’ll settle up later.”

“Thanks, Joe!” everyone said. “You’re the best! We’ll PayPal you!”

The suits did arrive three weeks later, as promised. But…

 

And here I pass the story on to….

Fandango, of course!

Rules–
Copy the story below as it appears when you receive it (and the rules please)
Add somehow to the story in which ever style and length you choose
Tag only 1 person
If you choose to not participate or finish the story, please comment/tag this post so that I know.

The Struggle Is Real (Green)!

Some friends and I decided to hang out Sunday, so naturally I had to buy some festive apparel. I know, you’re thinking… Paula, don’t you already have St. Patrick’s Day themed stuff from prior years? Well, not really! I have a hat, I guess, but that’s about it. I wore my greenish shirt on Friday to work, and it’s not that festive besides. I have a lime green sweater, but March 17th isn’t really about lime green, now is it? I used to have shamrock socks, but they got all holey. 😢

So, Friday night I went onto the Target app, like you do, to commence shopping. There wasn’t anything I liked much in my local store, so I moseyed on over to Huntington Beach. Eh, a couple shirts were okay, and there were some cute socks and earrings. Then I had a brainstorm to try the men’s department. Well! The guys had adorable shirts! Beautiful green ones with the Lucky Charms logo (we just got plain white), and OMG a kitty shirt, black and white, with a widdle green hat!!! Obviously, I had to get the kitty shirt. Why wouldn’t they make it for women/juniors? Who even can figure out the logic to these things? 🙄

I ordered the shirt, socks, and earrings, paid for all that, and planned to pick them up the next morning. I was very happy… for about 5 minutes until I received an email saying those items were no longer available in Huntington Beach. Or Costa Mesa. WHAT? I began searching the whole area on the handy-dandy app. They said I could buy all the same things in Irvine on Barranca. FINE. I was very happy again… for like 5 minutes. Then they said I could only have the shirt. No earrings, no socks. Wtfff? What about the Target in Irvine Spectrum? NO. Westminster Mall. NO NO NO! You can’t have any festive socks or earrings. Get over it. 😡

Ooh, I was so mad. This wasn’t the end of it though. I stayed up late, all energized by my fury. First thing Saturday morning I went right over to the Barranca Target and got my shirt ~ there was a minor drama however because they couldn’t find it at Guest Services and I was about to have a heart attack, but then they did, so I was okay. I went to Peet’s after that for coffee and a PB cookie (yummo). The reason Target was out of green things is because they took them away to make room for Easter things. I stopped at CVS, which sometimes has fun socks, but they too were all Easterized before St. Patrick’s Day. Kohl’s had one little sad display of green dishtowels. ANNOY! 🔥

But then… then I went to Party City. And guess what? They had tons of St. Patrick’s Day stuff still on the shelves Because… because PEOPLE WANT TO BUY IT! And unlike Target, CVS, and Kohl’s, Party City likes to make money from people who want to buy things! What a unique and interesting concept! Stores keeping things in stock that people want to buy. Huh. Who would have thought? Capitalism at its finest, folks, right here in Huntington Beach. Or over there rather. Up there? Idk. Directions confuse me. WHATEVER! I bought green things, which is the point. Yayyy!!! 🍀💖🍀