Tag Archives: family

My Favorite Mistake

Blogging insights tanya

Dr. Tanya continues her blogging about bloggers’ blogs blog bloggery by asking what we did wrong way back when. My wayback is probably older than most, since I began all this in 2003, with a blog on blogspot named “Ultrablog ~ Purple prose from Orange County… it’s ULTRAVIOLET!” That was my Usenet nickname and a group of us were fond of trying new fads. I took to blogging right away and even purchased a template to match my purple theme. Loads of my fellow Usenetters have disappeared from Blogland and simply hang out on Facebook now. But I like blogging best of all social media. 😍

Bitmoji happy balloons

My posts back then were about me and my opinions. I didn’t post much or any fiction/poetry; instead I blabbed on about my takes on the news or annoying incidents and just whatever. I did jabber way more about my kids, people I knew, and even work a little. I hate to say this, but because I was married to a lawyer, I felt safe in doing as I pleased. I had no fear of writing absolutely horrible stuff to other Usenetters while engaging in “combat prose” (it was mutual) and adding my bit of badness to the atmosphere of awfulness that has become exponentially worse as time goes on. My Usenet attitude/persona carried over into my blogging. 😎

Bitmoji zero chill

Most of my posts were short then, except a few frothy rants, and I generally flung some nonsense out 2-3 times per day. I received tons of comments and views because I had linked up with other bloggers who wanted to increase their stats, and we all visited each other’s posts constantly. I got totally caught up in the stats obsession and felt bummed out when my views sunk below 300/day or a post failed to get comments in the double digits. I participated in blog arguments and deliberately took on controversial views, all in order to get more “hits.” Finally, I ended up in a nasty flamewar (over pit bulls, lol), flamers began impersonating each other, my comment section got wrecked, and I quit. 😡

Bitmoji over it

My mistakes were obvious: worrying about stats, deliberately fanning flames, jumping into arguments at other blogs, and revealing too much about my life, including photos. I consoled myself that I did less of all this than the super-popular mommy bloggers, but even so. Ick! 😝🙁😢

I missed blogging though. I began a few new boring ones, a couple private ones, and this one… which ended up as my favorite. The others are all gone with some archived in my own files. When I started on WordPress, I was determined not to care about stats, not to post about politics, and not to get involved in arguments. If anyone starts crap here, I ban them. I did make some new mistakes though ~ when I was dating (🤮), I would post about some of the things that upset me or that I found funny. Then, when I met someone I actually liked (rare), I’d frantically delete all the dating posts before they could read them. Rinse, repeat.

bitmoji dizzy falling spinning

I haven’t deleted a post here in a long time. I doubt I would even if I met someone I liked romantically. They’d just have to deal with who I really am, and vice versa. 🤪 Not that I can imagine this happening imminently or even ever! 🤣 Anyway, I still enjoy blogging a lot, love the feedback on my writing, and have no plans to quit, despite the periodic glitches we have to deal with. Personally, I find the block editor a lot less annoying than that jerk who was copying our content a while ago. There will always be something…

Bitmoji amirite

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji

FPQ87: Pandemic Pondering

FPQ

Today Fandango provocatively asks…

Having been subjected to stay at home restrictions (to one degree or another) over the past six months, would you say that the quarantine has made you a better person? If so, in what ways? If not, why not?

Yes, I do think it has made me a better person regarding doing things for others. In the past, I viewed dangers as something only to worry about for myself (and immediate family), but now I think more about the wider implications of my actions. Let’s take mask wearing. I hate wearing a mask. Just gonna say it straight up. I find them super uncomfortable and annoying. In the past, I might have worn one to protect myself, but now I wear one for that reason and also because I don’t want to infect others, should I catch The Thing and not be symptomatic for a few days or so.

I’ve also learned that I’m not as much of a loner as I thought. While I have a higher tolerance for loneliness than most people I know, it’s not infinite. After a while, I really crave in-person conversation. And zooming is not a good substitute for me. It’s okay for playing games at times, but it doesn’t make me feel I’ve been with people. Kinda like cybersex back in the day…

Perhaps it’s made me a worse person too though, in that I have less tolerance for some beliefs. Or maybe that’s better! I used to be pretty accepting of quirky ideas, but now I’m not. But maybe it’s time I quit thinking that every lunatic notion is “interesting.” We’ll leave it at that.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Smoky Share

Share Your World

Happy Moonday! Hope your air isn’t as horrible as California’s. Melanie continues with a double dose of Q’s for this week…

Roger’s Magical, Mystical Questions:

1. You have just been gifted a magic wand that specializes in completing household chores. You can request the completion of only two household chores. Which chores would you assign your wand to complete?

Wax the car! Paint the house! But seriously, since California is my home, I think this wand should magically clean our air from smoke and our water from pollution.

2. At the local Wizards-R-Us store there was a sale on handshake shockers, instant darkness pellets, and levitation pills. Which of these ‘party thrillers’ are you more likely to purchase?

Hello darkness, my old friend…

3. In the alley behind Wizards-R-Us, there was a tradesman selling a Love Potion. The sales pitch was too much for you and you yielded and purchased one vial. What do you do with it?

Pour it on a lottery ticket.

bitmoji bonus

4. You are the Great Clearinghouse Winner of a new ‘good luck’ potion – Felix Felicis. It has to be used within the next thirty days or its potency becomes diminished. Do you use it? Do you give it to a friend in need?

Give it to a daughter.

Melanie’s Mundane Muggle Questions:

5. If everyone spoke their mind, would this world be a better or worse place? Why?

Worse. Just look at Twitter and FB! Yuck. People need to relearn what polite topics of conversation are. Hint: not religion and politics. The world doesn’t need to see all your ugly and hateful feelings… repress those suckers.

6. Can achieving nothing make a person happy?

By “a person,” I take it to mean me, and I say no. People who answer yes aren’t homeless and starving.

7. How do you know if you love someone enough to marry them?

You don’t, nor is there any guarantee they’ll love you till they (or you) die. It’s always a gamble.

GRATITUDE SECTION (as always this is optional)

Please feel free to write about or share an image of something you’re grateful for!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Melanie and Bitmoji

Generation Yap [flash 85]

Cheeseburger and fries

“Dude, this burger looks awesome!” Dylan shouted when he sat down at the table. “Get in mah belly!”

“Young man,” Grandpa bristled. “Must you use such obnoxious vocabulary?”

“Chillax, Geepah.” Dylan waved a fry. “I was giving Moms a compliment.”

Grandpa sighed. “In my day, we would have said something more pleasant, such as the cat’s meow.”

“But our cat howls all night,” Dylan pointed out. “That doesn’t seem like a compliment.”

“All right, burgers!” Dad said as he arrived at the table. “Fuckin’ A!”

gatbsy kitty cat

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images are mine and not mine…

FPQ86: Dream A Little Dream

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks…

What has been the strangest, weirdest dream that you can remember? What do you think triggered that dream?

When I was very young, I dreamt about getting attacked by a wolf, which I think was triggered by having a sore throat in the night. I mentioned this dream in a SYW post recently:

I was little, around 10 or under, and dreamt I got lost at the zoo. I ended up behind the exhibits and there was a wolf loose. He jumped on me and ripped my throat open. In the dream, I died, though I understand that isn’t supposed to happen in dreams. I woke up with strep throat.

This 2011 baby dream could symbolize creativity. Maybe I was writing a lot then, or thinking about new ideas for novels.

Fantasy reading romance novel book

Here’s a scaryweird dream I had in 2011 about a pink and yellow lizard. This one could have been triggered by alcohol, or dating, neither of which agree with me.

When I was married, I had lots of dreams about drowning. Here’s one I had a few years later in 2013. Two others that stand out in my memory are as follows. Once when I was in a strange huge house with my whole family (including the ex’s), plus people from school, no one would listen to me that there was water coming up to the windows. Finally, we all had to go onto the roof. Another time I was in a carnival type ride with both my daughters and we ended up on the Coast Highway where everything was flooded. Supposedly these drowning dreams arise from feeling overwhelmed or suffocated by something. Or someone…

I had this dream about my mom in 2013. I think about Mom a lot and miss her so much. I’ve had plenty of other dreams with her in them, but they weren’t weird enough to remember. 💔

If love could have saved you

In 2016, I had a few dreams about driving (one with scary dogs). I’ve had many more dreams about driving, often where I’m not in the seat the right way and can’t reach the brake pedal. Driving scares me, so it makes sense I dream about it. One benefit of this bizarre year is that I’m in the car a lot less.

Lately, I don’t dream much (or my memory is immediately wiped). Maybe it’s because I don’t usually sleep that soundly, idk. I used to be such a great sleeper! Oh well… aging, whaddayagonna do?

It was fun to do the “research” for this post. Thanks, Fandango! 🙂 Sorry I couldn’t pick just one.

Bitmoji shrug

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Fandango, Bitmoji, etc.

5 Fall Faves

Kittens cats five things

Dr. Tanya continues her #5Things prompt series with fall favorites. Here are mine…

1. A break from oppressive heat. While I love summer days, by October I’m ready for cooler nights. Since I’m in Southern California, we’re not talking freezing temps (usually), just a civilized dip into the 50s or so.

2. The opportunity to wear boots!

Happy Color chess phone boots

3. Going north for Thanksgiving to visit my eldest and her hubby. Yay!

4. Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin candy. (These are peanut butter/chocolate cups in a pumpkin shape, which are even more delicious than regular ones because of the ratio or some other magic.)

5. Pumpkin pie!

Pumpkin pie

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Happy Color and Google.

Bloggerz 3

Bitmoji me time reading with kitty cat

I missed a few of Rory’s Bloggerz posts, since the last one I did was in June. They do take some time, so possibly I passed them up on purpose. Today I have time… it’s 102 degrees and I feel too yucky to do anything creative.

Here are this month’s 12 questions

1. What really lights you up?

My granddaughter. She’s so adorable and fun to be around. I love the little vids her mom sends.

2. When do you think we become old?

Well, for me age IS a number, so I’m not going to spout some cliche. Today my life expectancy is 85.9, giving me 26.5 more years. This means I’ve used up about 69% of my life. That’s over two-thirds, so in my opinion I’m past “middle age” and into Oldville. Plus, I’m a grandma! 💖💖

3. What’s in your fridge right now?

Milk, rye bread, eggs, pickles, carrots, etc.

4. Never mind three wishes give me one good fantasy which would be … ?

A massive blue tsunami at the polls this November.

Blue tsunami eagle

5. How do you think your readers see you as the writer of your blog as a person away from your blog?

Idk. It depends if they know me IRL and/or other places online, plus everyone has their own spin on things. 🙃

6. How do you wish to be seen and interpreted as a person away from your blog by the readers of your blog?

Daenerys and dragons

7. Do our fears start with our DNA?

Some fears are hardwired, such as the fear of snakes, heights, water, and other things that can kill you. Not everyone has those, of course, and some have them to a greater degree. Other fears are triggered by events that trip a switch. 😱

8. What is the truest quality of life in your opinion?

The limitless love I have for my children.

9. What do you think the secret is to you letting yourself go?

This implies that “letting yourself go” is a good thing, and I mostly disagree with that premise. I’m more a fan of work and self-discipline. I realize the question doesn’t mean turning into a fat frump but instead relates to feeling free and uninhibited by rules and expectations. My answer stands regardless.

10. What stops you from being the truer version of you or are you already the truer version of you?

I’ve always been about the same as far as my emotional inner life and how I express myself. Chronic pain has stopped me from doing all that I might have otherwise. I do self-censor to various degrees in different environments, but I think everyone should.

11. What are 7 things you have learned about blogging since you started your blog that would be beneficial to other bloggers right now?

Stop obsessing over stats, likes, etc. Asking for money (the “tip jar”) is obnoxious. The teaser link is annoying and people won’t click to read more. Don’t post links to news articles as the entirety of your post. Don’t load your posts with a gazillion images. Don’t post personal undisguised info about other people without their permission or compromise your children’s privacy. Shorter is better; learn to be succinct.

12. Should we care what other people think about us?

It depends who they are. I certainly care a lot what my daughters think about me. I care what my coworkers think. To a lesser extent, I care what my friends think. I don’t care what anons on the internet think, not that I try to antagonize anyone (anymore).

Bitmoji shrug

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Bitmoji and wherever…

FPQ85: Paths Not Taken Yada Yada

pointless meanderings

I thought I’d turn Fandango’s Provocative Question today into a pointless meander. He asks if I’ve ever had to make what turned out to be a life-changing decision and, if so, do I wish I could go back in time and change it, blah blah, what and why. There have been a few…

Generally, I begin with my foolish decision not to go to Northwestern U. I had no idea about “prestigious” colleges back then apart from the obvious Harvard, Yale, etc. I knew it was good I’d gotten accepted, but the gravitas of the decision was foreign to me. I behaved impulsively as a teen and things that went wrong were easily fixed. Everything felt inconsequential at the time. My parents didn’t seem to care, and after an argument with my mom, she decided she didn’t want to pay for NU, so I ended up at the University of Illinois in Champaign. It was a horrible experience, I dropped out, moved back home, and ended up in a series of dead-end, low-paying jobs.

Next, I moved from Chicago to Southern California with my parents at age 22. I’m not sure this was a great decision, though it would have been hard to stay in the city alone given my crappy jobs. But from the minute I stumbled off the plane to right now, I’ve had one giant migraine that never seems to disappear for good. I know I’d probably suffer from them wherever I lived, but it soured the whole experience for me. I remember being bombarded with the dazzling sunshine when we landed and feeling like I was going to pass out from the brightness and the pain.

Finally, I returned to college to finish my degree. But again, doh, I eschewed UCLA for Cal State because the freaking parking was easier. It seemed like an okay decision at the time, but it was yet another folly. Not that I had a bad experience at Northridge ~ I actually loved it all and appreciated my classes and the professors there. But until I had my own children I did not realize the importance of the name of a school. Whatever, at least I finished and that led me to the job I have now, which is good. But I got a late start at a career and retirement savings…

All the while this school/moving stuff was going on, I was also dating. Ugh, what a nightmare. I can’t blame online dating and culture such as it is now for my relationship issues, since I’ve had them all along. I am attracted to the wrong men, and that’s just the common denominator of the whole mess. I regret spending/wasting time with a lot of these guys, but I can’t regret my second marriage because my two wonderful daughters are my prize for sticking with it. I should have ended it sooner however. I definitely regret all the years I thought the marriage could be fixed and floated in limbo, taking no action to help myself move on.

I like to imagine that if I’d been single in my 40s I would have had a great romance and met my life partner, though that’s probably false. I would have simply made stupid dating decisions all that time too. Ugh, thinking about all this is an emotional drain… plus it’s all fantasy. I did what I did and here I am. The only thing to do is to slog on…

AND VOTE BLUE!!!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image altered from the original at Pixabay.

Crabby Share

Crabby

Well, I was in a good mood, but checking FB, Twitter, and all that nonsense has put a raincloud over it. Wish I hadn’t rejoined FB and need to stay away. Twitter too… it does not help me sell books at all. Okay. Time for Share Your World! I’ll answer the Harry Potter questions this time because they’re pretty general.

Roger’s Magical, Mystical Questions:

1. Have you ever spent the night in a house that was supposedly haunted? Anything ‘strange” happen?

No and yes. “Strange” things happen all the time ~ how you interpret them is the key. There have been times it feels like my mom talks to me. I could decide that’s a ghostly communication from “beyond,” or my own subconscious.

2. What is the largest sporting event (or concert, etc.) that you have ever attended?

I went to some hideously huge concert at the Hollywood Bowl some years back. I forget what it was, but I had a really bad time in that large of an arena.

3. When you go for a swim, do you prefer an ocean, the seaside lakes, or a pool?

None. I dislike pools altogether, and the natural bodies are good for getting my feet wet. I’m not inclined to do more than that.

4. Tell about the most ‘ghastly’ fashion statement that you have ever made.

I dressed up as a silly elf for a Christmas party and won a prize.

Muggle Questions (from Melanie):

1. What is the last song you sang along to?

“Monday Monday,” which was on a CD I randomly grabbed today for the car.

2. What was your scariest nightmare about?

I was little, around 10 or under, and dreamt I got lost at the zoo. I ended up behind the exhibits and there was a wolf loose. He jumped on me and ripped my throat open. In the dream, I died, though I understand that isn’t supposed to happen in dreams. I woke up with strep throat.

3. What food do you crave most often?

It used to be sugar, preferably frosted cake or cookies. Now though I’m more likely to crave pizza or pasta. In fact, I would like some pizza, thanks! 🍕

4. What’s your grossest bug story?

I have a few, but the most disgusting event that has never left my mind was when my new puppy had tapew*rms, which usually happen because of flea ingestion. So so so gross. My cat had them too (twice!), due to effing fleas, but getting rid of them wasn’t as disgusting as the puppy situation. I saw big tangled globs of them. HORRIBLE.

GRATITUDE SECTION (optional as always)

Grateful for modern science and medicine, even when it works imperfectly. I have zero tolerance for conspiracy lunatics who would rather take advice from some idiot on YooToob. You don’t believe in science or support “big pharma”? Go live in a cave then. I get all the vaccines and am thankful for them!

Share Your World

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from wherever…

My Beach Smile

As promised, my smile for this week is the day I spent at the beach with my family.Paula at the beach

Look at my awesome sandcastle! It’s so great just to relax and play for a few hours without a thought of politics or other drama. The beach is perfect for this. 😍

My little granddaughter had a good time too, creating her own castle and adding to mine, or smushing it, as the case may be.

Paula at the beach

And to finish off Fandango’s Dog Days of August super fun prompt series (I didn’t miss any, yay!)… my plans for September include spending a lot more time with my precious grands. I also want to work on my novel, take care of my mental and physical health (good food! exercise! sleep!), read more books, etc.

Thanks for a fabulous month of prompts, Fandango! And thank you too, Trent, for nudging us to focus on the positive. 🥰

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from the fam jam.