Tag Archives: family

FPQ97: Help Yourself


Fandango provocatively asks…

Is it more important to you to be able to help yourself, help your family, help your friends, help your society, or help the world?

I’m addressing this question as applying to me only, not what others should do. It is more important to me to take care of myself so that I don’t become a burden to others. My daughters are busy and I don’t want to stress them out with worry about me, for as long as possible anyway. I feel I am helping them indirectly by focusing on my own needs and behavior. Practically speaking, I have very limited resources to share, in terms of financial help and/or pitching in physically to help family, friends, or the world in general. I wish I could do more. If I felt better, I’d join one of those clean up litter type groups. 🌎

Hey everyone! Let’s help Fandango continue his great FPQ series by offering suggestions for future provocative questions.

Bitmoji idea bulb


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Gobble Share 🦃


Happy Thanksgiving week! Melanie has new questions for us to ponder as we get ready to nom…

1. What is worse than a dentist with bad breath?

One who doesn’t use anesthesia! Seriously though, I once had a hygienist who lectured me about the devil while she was working on my teeth. That was disturbing… 😬

2. Have you ever been rejected by someone that you liked, or been told that you were not good enough for somebody else?

Four years ago this week I was dumped by someone I’d been dating for a few months. We had made T-day plans and vacation plans too. I really liked him despite the fact that he’d been a jerk ~ he had apologized for that, and I forgave him. He basically said I wasn’t good enough for him because while he’d spent a bunch of money on our dates, I hadn’t baked cookies for him. He also said that the fact I was 3 years older bothered him. This all triggered me into a depression, not so much due to missing him or anything like that, but because my judgment was/is so fucking bad in this area. I should never have gotten together with him in the first place much less accepted his phony apology.

Sad pie bitmoji

3. Did you ever want to have toast for breakfast, only to find that all your bread was covered in green mold?

No. But last week I didn’t seal my cheddar cheese properly and it got all dried out.

4. Did you ever sneeze so hard that your whole body hurt?

My whole body hurts every time I sneeze. It jerks my owie back, which begins shooting pain all over.

5. Did you ever buy clothing on the internet that did not fit, but you wore them anyway, since you didn’t want to pay the $5 shipping charge to send them back?

No. I’ll send them back, or, if they’re cheap, I’ll donate them. This rarely happens though since I know my size pretty well.

6. As a nod to the upcoming American Thanksgiving Holiday which happens this Thursday, please share in the Gratitude Section anything you might be thankful for this particular November.

I’m always grateful for my family, and this year I’m especially grateful for my lovely roomie too.

Bitmoji Thanksgiving

Stay safe, everyone! 💛🧡🤎


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 62

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the TMP tag, link back to me (or not), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen. I have feelings!

Okay, so today’s peeve is another techy one. Saturday night, I began to play games over Zoom, as you do, and my camera wasn’t working. WTF? This is a brand-new laptop! My last laptop had a non-working camera, among other issues, so I was really upset. I tried everything, reset the privacy buttons, restarted the computer, googled the issue, asked Zoom for help, asked Lenovo for help, etc. My roommate, who is much more technical than I am, was also stumped. I couldn’t focus on the games because I was so upset. I texted my daughters to bitch and complain, as I do.

My eldest asked me if I switched on the privacy screen. What? I don’t have one. So silly. Then she explained that there is an eensy weensy teeny tiny button at the center top edge of the screen. I couldn’t see it at first, but I felt it. HOLY CRAP THERE’S A SWITCH. I must have turned it on when I wiped my screen with an eyeglass cloth (the best way to safely clean finger smudges)… I switched it off and VOILA the camera began working. Yay! I went back to my games.

But the peeve is… why when both my roommate and I googled this problem did the easy, obvious solution not pop up first (or at all)? God, that was maddening!


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Bloggerz 4

Bitmoji remote

Hola, it’s the 12, Rory-style! Couple notes. I title these to reflect how many I’ve done ~ Rory has more than 4, but I’ve missed some. Also, I delete his images and use ones that better suit my blog. Onward!

1. What’s currently inside your bathroom cabinet or sits on a shelf in your bathroom?

On the counter is a layered tray of vitamins, headache meds, lip gloss, eyedrops, etc. In the cabinet I have shampoo, first aid stuff, nail polish, and a million other things.

2. If you awoke one morning and discovered that you had the complete control over global Time – would you USE it well or ABUSE it badly and how?

I would eliminate DST. 🌞

3. If you could start a new blog and no one was to EVER know who you were and you never let on either – what style or genre would you opt for?

Probably erotica.

Sexy blonde

4. If you found yourself to be a ghost for a day who would scare the heebie geebies out of and why?

I wouldn’t want to scare people ~ I’d just spy on them. 😈

5. What if anything are you allergic to?

I may be allergic to bees. I had a very bad episode once that the ER doc decided was from a bee sting, even though there was no mark on me. I also will get sneezy and itchy from exposure to pollen and dog fur.

6. What makes for the best Sandwich in your opinion and more importantly can you describe your perfect recipe to us?

I like a grilled cheese and tomato best.

Grilled cheese

7. Silly caps aside – how well and how long do you think you could honestly survive in a post-apocalyptic world brought on by a terrible life ending disaster?

About two seconds!

8. If online advertising doesn’t influence your buying decisions – what if anything – does?

Special occasions, getting obsessed with a certain color, change of seasons, etc.

9. Have any of your priorities with regards LIFE changed significantly during 2020 and if so, what and how?

Not really. I always gave my daughters the highest priority and still do. 💖💖 Then I value work, writing, friends, etc.

10. Do you have any bizarre fetishes and if so – care to share?

They aren’t bizarre.

11. Rules are meant to be broken … yes or no and if yes why and which and if no, why not?

They aren’t meant to be broken, but sometimes there’s a higher priority. In general, I think it’s good to follow rules. Makes society run more smoothly.

12. So!! Coffee upstairs or something stiffer and if so, which, why and what?

Coffee please, or tea. I rarely drink alcohol because of migraines.

Bitmoji coffee


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

November Share

Tea leaves

Melanie has a new set of questions for us this week…

1. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?


2. Who do you admire most in the world?

My daughters ~ they’re awesome! 💖💖

3. With the obvious restrictions in place, what do you regret not doing in the last year?

I had to cancel my trip to NorCal to visit my daughter. I also had to cancel a fun trip to Las Vegas with friends. All game nights and restaurant type get-togethers have also been canceled, so I’ve just been sitting at home…

4. Feel free to share something you’re grateful for.

I did get to see my LA daughter yesterday and I made unicorn cupcakes with my little granddaughter. This also counts as my smile for the week!

Unicorn cupcakes


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Bridge [socs]


A trick in bridge is a good thing… four cards you collect from the players at the table. The object is to get as many tricks as you can in the deal. Often a couple plays bridge with another couple. My parents, for some odd reason, decided this would be a wonderful activity to try together. Except that my mom learned all the rules and took the game very seriously while my dad didn’t really care. They had gigantic screaming arguments…

Fire dragon

They gave up bridge and never tried another shared hobby. My dad’s main joy was books and my mom liked puttering with sewing and gardening and (later on) genealogy. It was hard for them to even agree on a movie or TV show. I always thought this was sad and believed they were a mismatch. My idea was that a couple should have lots of things they could enjoy together.

Yet they were married for 50 years, until my mothers death in 2008. Looking back, I’m so glad they actually got to celebrate their 50th. It was only a few months later that Mom got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She died four months after that, in April, a day after my father’s birthday. 💔

At the end, she said she’d been happy with my dad and he said the same about her. Now, I believe they truly did love each other despite all their differences. I’ve met many men I’ve had bunches in common with, and yet I never found a connection like theirs. Compassion, kindness, and commitment are the tricks to bridge the hard times.



©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

15 Small Joys

15 small joys

Carol Anne @ Therapy Bits tagged me for this challenge. Seems like a good exercise to switch my focus to joy instead of the usual gloom & doom.

1. Gatsby, of course! He’s small, he’s joyful, and he’s a snuggly cuddle-bug. 💖


2. A hot shower. Helps to get rid of some of my aches so I can start the day feeling better.

3. My morning coffee, so good. ☕️

4. Jigsaw puzzles on my phone. 🧩

5. My new Lenovo Yoga laptop which is so light, fast, and easy to use.

6. My grandchildren! They’re still very small and super adorable. 💖💖

7. Texting with my daughters during the day to stay connected.

8. Peanut butter cups! 😋

9. Finding a powerful little poem on Twitter.

10. Writing poetry!

11. Amusing wordplay.

12. Music music music! 🎶🎶🎶

Rainbow music

13. The scent of fresh basil. 🌿

14. Making a perfect grilled cheese.

15. Fun prompts from blogging buddies!

Happy Bitmoji


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

M is for Memory [socs]


Memory is such a strange thing sometimes. My father, in his dementia, remembered incidents from the far past, whether accurately or not, I don’t know. He recalled people who had died and thought they were still alive; he tried to visit them and got lost. I had to take his car away, which was sad. But then he began trying to walk to their homes (that didn’t exist) and I had to place him into a safer living situation. When I was driving him to the new house, he asked me if we were in Canada.

I remember certain events, conversations, feelings from ages ago too, and I don’t know if my recollections are true. That bothers me. Sometimes I can confirm them with my girls or others, but most of the time there is no one who can verify or dispute my memories. I have no siblings or cousins or even friends who go back far enough. What if a whole event didn’t even happen and I’ve based other decisions or feelings on it? All these stories…

Then there’s this crazy lockdown year. I’ve experienced the time fog that many have described, where the days pass slowly, in mostly the same limbo of nothingness, and it feels like last March was years ago. It’s hard to recall what I did last week, last summer, last spring. Things seem near and far both, just out of reach. When did I read or watch something? What did I say on the phone to so and so? All the mental landmarks we use to help us remember have been wiped away. Emotional touchstones have disappeared for me now. I can’t say oh I know this happened on such and such a day because I was at game night or we were having dinner at a particular restaurant. Nope. None of that. All gone.

I wonder when my memory will go back to “normal,” or if such a thing is even possible anymore.


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

HallChall21: Decoration

Halloween decoration

When my girls were little, I used to love decorating for Halloween and other special events. But over the years that impulse faded until now when I don’t do anything at all. Usually I decorate my office a bit, but due to the plague no one comes in so I haven’t bothered.

I guess I was doing it for other people then? I never thought about that until writing this post. Why shouldn’t I decorate for myself, if it makes me happy? The thing is… it doesn’t. My pleasure in decorating for holidays comes only from sharing it with others who appreciate it.



Written for Tourmaline’s Challenge.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Random Spooky Q’s

Happy Halloween

I found these fun questions at Melanie’s, who got them from Brian.

1. What are your thoughts on green pea soup?

It’s tasty and filling on a cold day. I prefer a veggie version sans ham. If this is about The Exorcist, I haven’t seen it, thankfully.

2. Would you rather be Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy or Sarah Jessica Parker?

Bette Midler. She’s cute and sassy and I love her voice! 🎶

3. Do you carve pumpkins or do you consider it to be a violation of their civil rights?

Heh, neither. Too much work. 🎃

4. Have you ever screamed whilst watching a horror movie? (Legitimate screaming, not mere gasping or knocking over your wine glass.)

I don’t think so.

5. Who was the actual killer in the original “Friday the 13th” movie?

I don’t know… Saturday the 14th?

6. As a young child and presumed trick-or-treater, did you carefully plan the streets and houses you would conquer, or did you rush up to each one you could find, full of great expectations, thus setting you up for a lifetime of disappointment?

Lol, the latter. But mostly I cared about my costume and having fun, not candy, which I could get anytime.

Ghost candy

7. As an adult and presumed non-trick-or-treater (not judging if you still do), have you ever turned off your porch light on Halloween night because you just weren’t in the mood and/or somehow forgot it was Halloween despite the candy displays that have been in every grocery store since Labor Day?

Yep, not out of forgetfulness, but because I didn’t want to answer the door while alone.

8. If dared, would you stand in front of a mirror and repeat “Candyman” five times?

Sure. Maybe… 😱

9. Do you remember the time when you could safely eat anything in your collected stash of treasures without fear or worry?


10. Do you remember the time when those treasures might be popcorn balls or candied apples because grownups made an effort to do it up right for the children of the neighborhood? And we would say thank you, ma’am, and really mean it?

I don’t remember getting homemade goodies, only wrapped candy or pencils or stickers.

11. Do you believe in ghosts? Spirits? Lingering traces of what once was?

Only in people’s minds.

Ghostly spirit

12. Have you ever read “Something Wicked This Way Comes?” (Because Ray Bradbury is a master, and you should.)


13. If you were raised in a country or culture that doesn’t observe Halloween, do you have a similar holiday or time of year? We all have shared experiences, but they often go by other names…

I was born and raised in the USA ~ NY, NJ, and Illinois. VOTE BLUE! 💙

14. Did you (or your parents) make your own costumes as a child, or were they store-bought?

Some of each, mostly bought. I tried making my own “gypsy” costume one year when I was 12 and a grown man said I looked like a hooker. 😬

15. What are your thoughts on school systems and communities having “Fall Festivals” instead of “Halloween Parties”?

I don’t care.

16. Did you ever read a scary book, in your bed and under the covers, with a flashlight?

Not exactly, but I’ve read Stephen King when alone and that was scary!

17. Who is your favorite horror author, if you read such? If you don’t, why are you still taking this quiz? Just kidding. Sort of. (Alternative question: What author best reminds you that life is far too short to read anything that isn’t worth your time?)

Stephen King, naturally. 🖤

18. What horror movie series starred a young Johnny Depp in the first installment?

Idk, but he was awesome in Dark Shadows.

19. Would you rather walk through a remote cornfield in the middle of the night, talk to a clown that you discover in a sewer grate, be the winter caretaker at the Overlook Hotel, live in the last house on the left, sign the guest register at a questionable motel that features a taxidermy theme, or use an ATM in the bad part of town at 3AM?

Uhhh… the house on the left?

20. If you were to write a horror story about your own life, would you change the names of the people who did you wrong?

Already have… 😈

21. If you were offered the chance at everlasting life, albeit with some not-so-good side effects like having to suck the lifeblood out of innocent people who happened to be in the Ikea parking lot at just the wrong time, would you do it?

Nah, too boring to live forever, though this year feels like an eternity…

22. Of all the people who have passed before us, known or unknown, who would you most like to see sitting across from you at a table in a tapas restaurant in southern Spain, with that golden sun making everything surreal yet perfect, and you can just talk and talk and talk? Because I shouldn’t end this thing with real horror, but with love, and remembrance, and hope, and peace, and the imagination of little Dolly Partons in green-velvet mini-skirts who clutched a bag of treasures and briefly thought that everything was right as rain…

Erm what? My mom. 💔



©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.