Tag Archives: facebook

Water Off A Duck


Melanie has more questions! These are a la Dr. Tanya, who is taking a moving hiatus, but they aren’t Tanya’s questions. Melanie is simply nodding to the blogging about bloggers’ blogs theme that Tanya is famous for. Hope that’s clear…

How thick a skin do you need to be a blogger?

That depends on your goals. If you want to post about politics, sex, and/or religion (“PSR“), you’d better have a thick skin. There aren’t too many people who will take umbrage at cat photos or a discussion of romcoms, but if you announce that you’re an atheist, you’d best be prepared for all sorts of randos popping up to say you’re going to hell. People search on the PSR topics for the sole purpose of trolling; if you can’t shrug off criticism, avoid those subjects.

Personally, criticism from strangers rolls off me like water from a duck, but I no longer want to deal with it. I’ve been in flame forums, and my old blog tackled edgy topics, but I got tired of dealing with all that. It’s a big bore and I’d rather my blog interactions remain friendly.

Bitmoji happy record

“Bonus question”  How important is being understood?  (There are one or two bloggers here who put a great deal of time and effort into crafting their blog posts and I’ve heard them express dismay (disappointment) when people don’t necessarily “get” what they mean.  Also, if people don’t ‘say’ (comment) a lot about a particular post they’ve worked hard on.)

As I’ve said a zillion times, I don’t care about stats, number of likes, comments, etc., which is why I unlinked my blog from FB and Twitter. I care about my little blogging community though, and it’s nice to be understood by this group, which I generally am. I write clearly and keep my posts on the shorter side so people won’t feel that reading me is a chore.

It’s also important to break text up into smaller paragraphs, since many people are reading blogs on their phones.

bitmoji phone

If I’m misunderstood by one reader out of several, I’ll assume it’s the reader’s fault. But if I’m misunderstood by a few, I will take the blame for being unclear. That’s happened in the past when I jabbered on about dating sites. But have I mentioned in the last 5 minutes that I’m done with all that dating nonsense now? 😂


©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ107: Breakdown

FPQ fandango

Fandango provocatively asks…

Have you ever taken a hiatus (break) from blogging? If so, how long did your hiatus last and why did you take it? How difficult was it to return to blogging after your hiatus? Did your stats suffer and did you lose readers as a consequence of your absence?

I began my first blog “Ultrablog” (named for my Usenet handle “Ultraviolet”) in the fall of 2003. I was deliberately provocative in order to increase views and comments, not to make money but as an ego booster. Naturally, this led to flamewars and all sorts of shenanigans. I got disgusted with that, backed up the blog to the cloud, and deleted it in 2007.

bitmoji door

I probably went about 5 minutes without a blog and then began “Cats, Cupcakes & Shoes,” which was meant to be only for fun and no controversy. That was a giant bore, didn’t generate much interest obviously, and I deleted it too. Around that time, at the end of 2007, my mom received her cancer diagnosis and I started a private blog sans comments just to vent to about 20 people. They sometimes emailed me with their thoughts. My mom passed away in April 2008, and I ended the blog in June or thereabouts (I have it archived).

If love could have saved you

Around that time, I dumped Facebook for the first time because it too annoyed me with all the arguing. But I had nowhere online to jibber jabber! 😳 I think there may have been a few short-lived venues, such as Google hangouts or whatever. Not the same as real blogging! I missed it.

I began a blogspot blog called Light Motifs (a play on “leitmotif”) in 2009 and also rejoined Facebook. I’ve usually had a Twitter account going on, but meh. Never have figured out the secret to twit-stardom. I grew annoyed with the limitations of the blogger platform and moved over to WP in 2011 as Light Motifs II.

bitmoji party

At first, I barely had any views or comments. I mostly shared other people’s poetry that resonated with my state of mind and also did some book and cupcake reviews. Over time, I gained more followers, but things didn’t take off until I began doing the official word of the day prompt and visiting other WP bloggers who participated. Now I have around 2300 followers and get about 200 views per day along with a bunch of comments.

But even with all my current posts and participation, I never see the kind of numbers I had back on Ultrablog. I’m okay with that. I understand that controversy brings the views ~ just look at regular media and how they gin up emotions. I don’t want that kind of interaction. I’ve rejoined FB to have more communication during Covid, but I don’t connect my posts there since it irritates me so much when people refuse to comment HERE and the post ends up with two sets of comments. I hardly use Twitter lately, so I get no visits from there. And I’ve given up on Medium.

I’m good with how things are in Blogland and have no plans to change my blogging habits or take a break. I will be ending my Thursday Inspo prompt at #100, but only those souls bored enough to read this ridiculously long ramble in its entirety will see this paragraph. 😂


©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Facebook and Oreos

Roadrunner meep

Rory has some new quickie Q’s for us today…

When was the last time you wore a woolly hat and is it coloured, patterned or plain?

Hmm, I wear cute hats sometimes for fun, but I’m allergic to wool… The last time I wore a warm, cozy knit hat was when I visited my daughter and SIL up in Northern California at Thanksgiving. That hat is a million vibrant colors, patterned in abstract triangles and such, lined with fake fur, and has purple and turquoise braided ties. Here’s a fun one…

St. Patrick’s green hat

When was the last time you experienced a wardrobe malfunction – what was it and where were you?

Probably a couple years ago at work when my shoe fell apart and I had to tape it together until I got home where I threw the whole pair away.

Why do things become popular with people?

Could be that they’re convenient or fun. Many times they are addicting even past the point of being fun and were deliberately designed that way, such as Facebook and Oreos.


On a scale of 01 – 10 how angry are you right now for no other reason apart from you just are?

My baseline is 5, not 1, and I’m around a 6. Today has been annoying from the minute I woke up with a migraine. I took meds, which left me jittery and irritable. Things kept going wrong as I went about my early chores, from grocery shopping to vacuuming. I was in a huge rage and wrote/scheduled two Monday Peeves because of it (productive anger!). I’m better now but still wary.

Please list three really funny films that have made you laugh out loud over the years?

Analyze This ~ hysterical spoof of mob movies starring Robert DeNiro and Billy Crystal. The Heat ~ Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy as funny cops. We’re The Millers ~ hilarious Jennifer Aniston flick.

What are five of the biggest mistakes that people make with their lives in your opinion?

Quitting school, choosing unsuitable romantic partners, having kids too young, buying stupid things they can’t afford, and failing to PLAN! Yes, life happens while you’re making other plans and the gods laugh at plans, yada yada, but just because plans don’t always work out doesn’t mean you should live like a mindless butterfly.

Orange butterfly and flowers


©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ106 with a Bonus Rory Question!

FPQ fandango


Fandango provocatively asks…

In the context of blogging and writing, what do you think is more important: what you say or how you say it?

I assume most are going to say HOW, so I’m tempted to say WHAT, just to be contrary, but the truth is… I think they are equally important depending upon the nature of the post. 🙃

Forex, I will not follow bloggers who jabber nonsense about conspiracy theories or offer links to stupid YouTube rantings, no matter HOW they say it. I do not wish to engage with anyone who defends the twice-impeached former POTUS in any manner whatsoever. I’ve been unfollowing those who post lies about the recent US election or jumbled mutterings about dark forces. I don’t care how nicely they fling these turds, it is the WHAT that matters to me. Same goes for most idiotic conspiracy posts unless they’re totally silly or benign.

big mood bitmoji

But if we’re talking about creative fiction, then it’s the HOW that matters more than the WHAT. Many of us begin with the same prompt words or images and come up with vastly different interpretations because our creativity flows down different paths. The interesting aspect to me is HOW someone’s mind works to create a piece of fiction or poetry, not the subject matter so much.

When I write, I consider both aspects, more focused on WHAT I’m saying when I’m ranting about something (The Monday Peeve) and diving deeper into HOW I’m saying it when I’m creating a piece of fiction or poetry.

bitmoji plan

Bonus Related Question from Rory…

Is it more important to you to be a good blogger, or a community player or… what?

Ideally, they both would collide in a beautiful explosion of fame and money, but alas…

Here’s the thing. I call BS on anyone who says they’re only blogging for themselves. Then why write in public? Have a private blog or keep your thoughts locked in a Word document. Every blogger/Tweep/FB poster, etc. is hoping for an audience, though some are more attention-seeking than others. That said, I am okay with only a little bit of community engagement, and I will continue to post writing I enjoy even if it doesn’t get as many views/comments as other writing. But if I find that a type of writing gets ZERO engagement? I probably would discontinue it or seriously tweak it ~ in this case adjusting both the WHAT and the HOW to attract more views/comments. Otherwise, why bother writing in public? This is a huge reason why I became disenchanted with Twitter and Medium: little to no actual engagement.

bitmoji me

I found that my whining about dating and relationships generated a lot of views and engagement. But was it “good bloggery?” I decided it wasn’t. I grew uncomfortable with those posts and have discontinued them, even deleting some of the whinier ones from the blog altogether. (Yes, I know people who received them in email may still have them, etc.) I kept the best dating stories however and gave them their own page.

So in that case, the community engagement was a negative, especially when people gave me unsolicited advice about how to be “better” on dating sites as if the problem was me and not the sites themselves with their scam accounts, liars, cheaters, and overall creepy men. It didn’t matter HOW I wrote about this stuff because people gravitated to the WHAT and responded by trying to “fix Paula’s issues” instead of giving me the commiseration I sought. When I find a particular subject matter isn’t working for me, I avoid it in the future.

Hope that clears things up!

bitmoji relax


©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ105: Read the TOS


This is going to be a super-long post, so it won’t hurt my feelings if you pass it by, though IMNSHO there is a lot of good content here. If you simply drop a like without reading it, your loss.

Fandango provocatively asks…

Do you think [TOS violator] should be allowed back on social media now that he’s no longer in office?

I hope Fandango forgives me for slightly editing his question to remove the specific name. My view is that people should be held to the terms they agreed to when they signed up for a service. This means all people, no exceptions.

Let’s use WordPress for our first example, since most of my readers are using this service. Have you read the TOS? There are a lot of terms there… having to do with signing up, payments, disclaimers of WP liability for anything, using the site for e-commerce, more gobble about money, and some conditions having to do with users’ behavior. Here are some examples:

  • Will comply with all applicable laws and regulations (including, without limitation, all applicable laws regarding online conduct and acceptable content, privacy, data protection, the transmission of technical data exported from the United States or the country in which you reside, the use or provision of financial services, notification and consumer protection, unfair competition, and false advertising);
  • Will not be for any unlawful purposes, to publish illegal content, or in furtherance of illegal activities;
  • Will not disclose the personal information of others;
  • Will not be used to send spam or bulk unsolicited messages; […]

You must obey the laws about online conduct and acceptable conduct. What are those? Here’s a look

Okay, what about, say… Twitter? Anything goes there, right? Um nope. Contrary to what Twitter looks like, they actually have rules. Which they enforce arbitrarily, unfortunately. These sites making gobs of money (FB, Twitter, etc.) should, in my opinion, be forced to hire as many people as necessary to enforce their own TOS. If they can’t/don’t/won’t, they should be taken offline. There is no excuse! If there are too many messages to monitor, fix it so there aren’t. They can and should. No one needs to tweet 500 times per day if the site can’t handle monitoring their content.

Here are some rules from the Twitter TOS:

  • Violence: You may not threaten violence against an individual or a group of people. We also prohibit the glorification of violence. Learn more about our violent threat and glorification of violence policies. 
  • Abuse/harassment: You may not engage in the targeted harassment of someone, or incite other people to do so. This includes wishing or hoping that someone experiences physical harm. Learn more.
  • Hateful conduct: You may not promote violence against, threaten, or harass other people on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, caste, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability, or serious disease. Learn more
  • Civic Integrity: You may not use Twitter’s services for the purpose of manipulating or interfering in elections or other civic processes. This includes posting or sharing content that may suppress participation or mislead people about when, where, or how to participate in a civic process. Learn more.
  • Impersonation: You may not impersonate individuals, groups, or organizations in a manner that is intended to or does mislead, confuse, or deceive others. Learn more.

Isn’t that interesting? You wouldn’t think, from visiting Twitter, that they had any rules at all! But apparently there are so many tweets that they can’t handle monitoring them for adherence to their own rules. They rely on other users reporting violations. Regardless, violators should be restricted, even if they can’t all be found (which they could, if these sites put money into enforcing their own rules).

It’s not only the twice-impeached former POTUS who constantly violates the Twitter rules ~ violations are all over the place there, perpetuated by peeps of all political persuasions. They are simply sliding under the radar. Forex, it’s become a sport online to mock officials for having “dementia,” which is a clear violation of the Twitter TOS, whoever is doing it. Dementia is a serious disease, incapacitating millions of people, and it’s heartbreaking besides. It’s not funny to accuse people of having it because they lie, misspeak, stutter, etc. But folks on the right and the left use this form of harassment as mockery of those they dislike.

Many of us are on Facebook, which also has rules, not that they are great at enforcing them. God forbid hiring more monitors would put a dent in the bottom line there. Here are a few FB rules that are routinely ignored:

  • Use the same name that you use in everyday life.
  • Provide accurate information about yourself.
  • Create only one account (your own) and use your timeline for personal purposes.
  • We believe that all people are equal in dignity and rights. We expect that people will respect the dignity of others and not harass or degrade others. [found in Community Standards]

I stand by my unpopular opinion that there needs to be a huge change in the structure of social media ~ and that is to create a new global rule of one account per person signed up with their real, legal name, verified with a credit card. You don’t have to use your real name as your handle, but you get ONE handle, to be used across all social media. There needs to be an end to this detachment of words from consequences when you want to “troll” and harass others. That’s the thing about social media ~ people want to be separated from the consequences of their behavior. Unlike other areas of life, we aren’t required to accept any responsibility for our words, words that are casually tossed out to mock, harass, demean, etc. others online.

Of course, I have strayed from the question. That’s because it’s too simple for me to say, “Ugh, hate him ban him!” The twice-impeached former POTUS has violated the TOS egregiously and repeatedly, so suspending his account was the right thing to do, but more than that… everyone should be required to abide by the TOS they signed up for. Everyone.


©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Good Riddance 2020

Bitmoji dumpster

Welp, the last day of 2020 began fittingly. I went to bed early last night and then was wide awake at 2AM, so I doubt if I’ll be able to stay up until midnight tonight to kick 2020 all the way out the door unless I manage to take a nap. 😴

What a poopshow, amirite? Wish we could purge the whole thing from our memories, except for the part about my adorable grandson being born. I am not a fan of playing games over Zoom, though it’s better than nothing. Oh, somehow I managed to “lock” the keyboard of my new laptop, which sent me into a towering rage before dawn. I had to google on my phone how to unlock it, but that didn’t help, so I restarted. I don’t understand why turning off and on fixes stuff, but wev. It’s always the last thing I think of, even after all this time. I am typing this on my laptop now, so all is good until my next meltdown.😜

Bitmoji frustration

I’m no stranger to making resolutions, but like most people I don’t stick to mine, so why bother? The only thing special about tomorrow is the psychological aspect regarding the year number… nothing really changes. We are still in this plague, still have to wear masks, not socialize, not eat in restaurants, yada yada. I have flight credits, but they’ll likely expire before I’m all vaxxed up. 🙁

I made a new Facebook account in April after staying away for over 2 years, and while it’s nice to reconnect with peeps WHO DON’T READ MY BLOG, that’s the only thing good about it. So much repetitive bitching and boringness otherwise. I have never understood why people feel a need to link to news articles there or quote massively from them as if we can’t find CNN for our own damn selves. It’s not like the news isn’t in our faces 24/7 every time we log on to any device. It’s so irritating!

Bitmoji angry

I have been trying not to read the political stuff on FB, or participate in it, same as on Medium and here in blogland, though sometimes it’s impossible to resist. Occasionally I retweet political stuff I agree with, but I don’t comment, even when trolled. It’s still a big waste of time. I guess if I were going to have a goal for 2021, it would be to read even fewer political posts and articles than I do now. There is nothing to be gained from it and every time I spend an hour reading that crap, there goes a poem that might have been written or read. I think of it this way ~ poetry can bring beauty into this world (or at least attempt to do so), while political jabber only ever takes away from beauty. It’s all stinky trash.

So yeah… the ending of this awful year hasn’t made me feel especially galvanized to take bold action to shake up my life. There’s really nothing much I can do at this point, except keep on keeping on. And you know what? That is good enough. I’ve long since abandoned the notion of perfection, as if that’s even remotely possible to attain, and while my habits can be tweaked for the better, I’m pretty okay with my mediocrity. I look forward to doing exciting things again, such as having a veggie quesadilla inside a restaurant at a table with friends and playing a board game in person afterwards. Yeah baby. Take me back to 2019, when we didn’t know how good we had it. I suppose that’s a “privileged” thing to say, but at least I acknowledge this.

The Monday Peeve 63

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the TMP tag, link back to me (or not), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen. I have feelings!

Gonna complain about ads today. Not just any old ads. I get that we have to view ads to use free sites and I don’t have a problem with that. But some are simply too obnoxious to bear. When I’m playing some of the games via FB, I see one ad in particular that drives me nuts. It’s for a movie called Chaos Walking, and it’s the longest ad I’ve ever seen, maybe two minutes of dumb scenes from this irritating movie THAT I WILL NEVER WATCH NOW DUE TO THEIR IRRITATING ADS. Of course I’m giving them free publicity here on my peeve, but I don’t care. The movie looks dumb anyway and none of my readers would watch it. Pffft!

Short ads are good. Funny ads are okay (once or twice). LONG ADS ARE BAD.

It’s not that complicated…

On Folding Our Posts Into Swans…

Blogging insights

Dr. Tanya presents questions from Sadje this week on blogging etiquette.

How long should the comment thread be? For example, if some blogger likes your post and says so, you thank them. Then they say that you’re welcome or it’s a pleasure, afterwards most shift to emojis or smiley faces. It can go on for quite some while. So I would really like to know what is the acceptable cutoff number.

I don’t think it’s necessary to continue this chain after “liking” a thank you. There’s no need for “you’re welcome,” etc. It simply clutters up the comments with meaningless gibberish. “Liking” a thanks is equivalent to a welcome. And honestly, though I’ve been saying thanks to comments, it’s really okay just to “like” them without a reply, if you have nothing to add. I’m not loving the idea that my comment boxes are stuffed with my own thanks thanks thanks. Boring!

Reblogging etiquette; I reblog the responses to my prompt as I state in my prompt post. But if I want to reblog a post which I like or was moved by, should I ask them first? What is the accepted protocol for that?

I’m not a fan of reblogging or quoting gobs of material from another source, whether the news or Wikipedia or someone else’s opinion. Write your own words! If you need to reference something, simply link to it. Quoting a large portion may deprive the original writer of a visit, which is uncool.

What should you do when people don’t respond to your comments on their posts? Should you stop commenting on their post or give them a reminder about your comment?

Nothing. Don’t keep count of such petty things. Certainly do not remind them that they didn’t respond! Some people may not want to clutter their comments with a lot of replies, or they may not think of blog posts as a venue for chitchat. If a blogger annoys you, for whatever reason, simply and quietly quit following them.

Cat walking away from explosion

Award posts; These are the trickiest regarding etiquette, as most people don’t even acknowledge that they were nominated for that particular award. What should be the proper way to deal with this situation?

Ignore it! People don’t have to respond to tags and call-outs. Many are opting not to do awards at all, as the questions are mostly pointless and silly, not to mention repetitive. If this bothers you, stop nominating anyone and instead note that your questions are open to all. If we all quit doing awards, they’d fade away… like a miracle! 🤣

Basically, my view of all this is that bloggers are not required to respond to comments, tags, call outs, etc. It’s not a breach of blog etiquette to ignore those things and focus only on your own writing. What is a breach of blog etiquette then? Using other people’s words without giving them credit. That’s pretty much it. Not everyone is using a blog to make friends and jabber Facebook style. Some simply wish to write.

Pen and ink


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Smoky Share

Share Your World

Happy Moonday! Hope your air isn’t as horrible as California’s. Melanie continues with a double dose of Q’s for this week…

Roger’s Magical, Mystical Questions:

1. You have just been gifted a magic wand that specializes in completing household chores. You can request the completion of only two household chores. Which chores would you assign your wand to complete?

Wax the car! Paint the house! But seriously, since California is my home, I think this wand should magically clean our air from smoke and our water from pollution.

2. At the local Wizards-R-Us store there was a sale on handshake shockers, instant darkness pellets, and levitation pills. Which of these ‘party thrillers’ are you more likely to purchase?

Hello darkness, my old friend…

3. In the alley behind Wizards-R-Us, there was a tradesman selling a Love Potion. The sales pitch was too much for you and you yielded and purchased one vial. What do you do with it?

Pour it on a lottery ticket.

bitmoji bonus

4. You are the Great Clearinghouse Winner of a new ‘good luck’ potion – Felix Felicis. It has to be used within the next thirty days or its potency becomes diminished. Do you use it? Do you give it to a friend in need?

Give it to a daughter.

Melanie’s Mundane Muggle Questions:

5. If everyone spoke their mind, would this world be a better or worse place? Why?

Worse. Just look at Twitter and FB! Yuck. People need to relearn what polite topics of conversation are. Hint: not religion and politics. The world doesn’t need to see all your ugly and hateful feelings… repress those suckers.

6. Can achieving nothing make a person happy?

By “a person,” I take it to mean me, and I say no. People who answer yes aren’t homeless and starving.

7. How do you know if you love someone enough to marry them?

You don’t, nor is there any guarantee they’ll love you till they (or you) die. It’s always a gamble.

GRATITUDE SECTION (as always this is optional)

Please feel free to write about or share an image of something you’re grateful for!


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Melanie and Bitmoji

My Turn [rant]

Bitmoji laptop

Soooo, I have tried to avoid bitching too much about WordPress, as imperfect as it is. Not to mention that I don’t hate the block editor (heresy!), though of course I have empathy for anyone experiencing difficulties getting their writing to publish. The thing is, blogging is my favorite form of social media by far, and I’m super grateful it’s surviving when almost everyone else just twitters and faceplops. I blame a short attention span… I remember when some of my writer friends kept interesting blogs, but now they just quote boring political crap on FB, or repost dumb memes. I guess it’s easier. 🙄

H O W E V E R!

I had the damndest time getting my last post to publish properly. And this has nothing to do with the cursed BE because I was using the app in classic mode. Ooh, maybe they’re screwing with the CE to get us to switch over entirely (I use the BE on my laptop). I had to keep fixing it and republishing it to get all the links to “take.” They would disappear in the process and I’d view the post only to find them poofed. So maddening!

Bitmoji fire flames angry rage

I understand that the outcome of writing to WP for help is zippo, nada, crickets. So why bother? Instead I’m venting here, especially because this wasn’t a one-off. I’ve had to repost other pieces of writing due to formatting glitches. Sometimes my video links don’t show up with previews, and it looks stupid when the html link sits there alone instead of a nice music image. Btw, I’m in the process of labeling all my saved images, since the WP search function is crap. Not talking about their library, but trying to find something I’ve used before and saved in mine. Yes, that’s a different issue, but why not throw everything into the Big Casserole of Doom?

Must chillax somehow…

bitmoji meditate calm breath zen


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Bitmoji