Tag Archives: deletefacebook

Scary Sharing [ranty]

Scream

Questions from Sparks

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat) a good thing, a bad thing or a mixture of both?

Bad. Right now, I have a Twitter account, which I mainly use for poetry prompts and news, but the way others use it to argue and snark 24/7? Bad. It contributes to our nasty, bullying culture. Of course nastiness and bullying existed before the internet, but we weren’t hooked into it every minute of the day. You could take an actual break from school and not look at what people were saying. But now? Well, naturally you “need to know.” Same goes for the garbage on FB and Insta… you can’t be out of the loop! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Before people fly into a tizzy, I’m not saying anything should be banned. I voluntarily left Facebook and Instagram. I suggest you do the same. Unfortunately I still have an account I made just to use Messenger for the convenience of friend chats, but I hope that’s temporary. It irritates me that some friends are opposed to normal texting.

I am absolutely opposed to the constant political screamfest on every corner of the internet that has accomplished absolutely nothing. Everyone is now able to screech about how much they hate X and get a pile of X-haters to agree, and another pile of Y-haters to engage in an endless namecalling jamboree, yippee doodle. What a great way to spend our free time. ๐Ÿ™„

Besides that, social media has destroyed privacy. Many of us overshare in so many ways; it’s the new normal to blurt out our feelings all the time to the whole world or to our 500 “friends.” Not only that, but in order to have “free” access to the things, we give giant corporations all our info, and shrug off periodic hacking and ID theft as a cost of doing business because we simply must stay connected 24/7 to these people who actually don’t even notice when we disappear. They really don’t.

People begged me not to leave Facebook. Then they laughed and said I’d be back in a month. Now, they’ve forgotten me. There are bloggers who have left. Some used to post and comment all the time. Who even ever thinks about them?

Are you camera shy or do you pose for the camera with confidence?

I’m not a fan of people taking my pic when I’m talking or have a mouthful of food. I always let people know when I’m taking their photo, and if they don’t want me to, I don’t. That said, if someone asks, I’ll always smile and agree. Why not ask? It’s just good manners.

Is there anything youโ€™ve kept from younger years for sentimental reasons alone?

I have a folder full of school stuff to remind me of how much potential I once had and that I let it fade away to nothing.

Do you like to decorate for different holidays?

When I had a house I did. I especially went all out for Halloween because that’s such a fun holiday to me, with no pressure for family dinners or gifts. It’s just pure silly enjoyment. For the kids I mean! ๐Ÿคฃ๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ป

Halloween pumpkin head

~*~

Laura’s October Challenge (Day 7)

~*~

ยฉ๏ธ2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 2

The Monday Peeve

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

Here we go then with today’s…

I can’t stand it when numbers don’t work. This is an enormous peeve of mine. Words may have imprecise definitions, tastes often vary, people can wobble into walls, but numbers dammit? No, I do not accept it when numbers fail.

Here’s an example. Someone tried to send me money via PayPal using my phone number and the funds were returned. PayPal said they didn’t know my number, which happens to be the one I’ve been using for 20 years with them. So, I called them up, confirmed my phone, and they said oh it’s better to use an email address. Why? Why would it be better to use letters over numbers? They had no answer for me. Utterly maddening.

I was so annoyed I was going to switch to Venmo except I saw that PayPal owns Venmo. It’d be like giving up Facebook and keeping Messenger. Who’d be silly enough to do that?

Oh right. Me. ๐Ÿ™„

~*~

ยฉ๏ธ2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.โค๏ธ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ’™

~*~

ยฉ๏ธ2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

One Of These Knights…

Knight on horse

On this day, I learned that Facebook is galloping into the dating site biz… after snoozing in the stall for all these years. And I’m sure the first thought to occur to everyone is… OMG will this motivate Paula to end her extended FB vacation?

Ha ha ha ha!

No.

Remember, I didn’t merely deactivate my FB account… I deleted it. And to create a new account, I’d have to create a new email address, which is much too annoying to contemplate. Plus, I hate Facebook. Also, I hate dating. Hmm, I believe that covers everything. Sorry for being brusque.

But! I haven’t given up on finding my dream man… I just increasingly believe that he’s most likely not hanging around on the interwebnets. He may have done so, at some point in the past, and we pixeled past each other like clicks in the night, but he is doing something else now… like writing spontaneously great poetry beside a meandering stream, or perhaps painting psychedelic works of art under a tree…

~*~

ยฉ๏ธ2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Mental Health ~ Social Media

Thinking

Beckie has been providing a great series of prompts about various topics related to mental health. I haven’t been chiming in, but I made some time for this one. [My bad, I originally credited it to Ashley, and I’ll leave her link below, since it’s where I found the post to use.]

This weekโ€™s topic is social media.

Prompt #1 Questions: 

1. Does social media affect your overall mental health?  If so, please describe how it does affect you? 

– Yes, blogging affects my mental health in a positive way because I have control over my blog and can vet the comments (when necessary). Twitter can go both ways. I read good poetry there, which is inspiring; but sometimes I end up reading too much of the political garbage, which is a downer.

2. How does it make you feel when you see family/friends posting pictures of them living their life happily?  

– This is mostly irrelevant to me because I am not on Facebook or Instagram. When I see bloggers posting happy photos, I smile with them.

3. Do the following people make you feel inadequate in any way due to your mental health?    

– Is the question about envy? Am I sad when I see people in couples? No. I know what it would take for me to be in a relationship and am not willing to make those sacrifices (again). As far as family photos, I have lots of those myself, but I don’t post many out of respect for their privacy.

4. What has been your overall experience with social media?  And, what sites do you follow?  

– As I said, blogging has been a wonderful and positive experience. The writing community here on WP is full of kind and supportive people. Twitter is somewhat positive. Facebook was a net negative and I let it go. Instagram too.

5. Have you considered not being on social media?  

– Sometimes, when I feel time-pressured and discouraged by zero book sales. Like, why am I bothering? I could just read and watch TV. But it’s fun regardless.

6. If you have quit social media sites, has it improved your mental health and stability?  

– Quitting Facebook was one of the best decisions I’ve made. Not only did it suck me into the most pointless arguments about the SOS, but it gave me the false impression I had all these “friends,” which of course was bullshit. Most of them couldn’t even be bothered to visit me here after there was no link in their facefeed. Bookmark? Huh?

7. Has social media ever triggered you in a negative way?  Explain how?  

– Yes. There is a problem with some of the sites in that they are relentless in showing you people (“suggestions”) you would rather never see again. Forex, I can’t log on to LinkedIn without them suggesting I connect with the man who broke my heart. There’s no way to block him or whatever. It’s been long enough now, and my heart has been smashed up worse, for his face not to matter to me any longer. But there were a few years I could not touch the site.

*

Prompt #2  We are all familiar with โ€œSelfiesโ€  Describe for us, what is the first thing you think of when you see your family/friends keep sending and/or posting selfies?

– This is no longer an issue for me, since I’m off FB. I love seeing any/all pics of my family, and my friends aren’t into selfies. I’ve never perfected the art of the selfie. Back on FB, there were some women who took a lot of selfies and it always appeared like a desperate attention-seeking ploy.

Then again, aren’t we all on social media to get attention of one kind or another?

~*~

ยฉ 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Oopsy

Some of you may have seen a 3TC slip through the fabric of time and appear at 10AM today instead of 10PM. That was not some sort of weird bend in the universe, but human error… mine. This should put to rest those pesky rumors that I am a bot, since a bot would not screw up. I suppose a bot could be programmed to screw up to seem more human-like however. Ooh.

In any case, I rescheduled the stray post to return tonight as it should, so if you’re one of those suck-ups who do homework in advance to get brownie points, the link is not going to work until later. You can preen though at the thought of having your 3TC finished before others and then run off to do something productive. Oh, who are we kidding, right? You’ll be glued to your screen as usual, waiting for your next hit of posts.

Probably for the best. At least we’re safe in Blogland surrounded by supportive folks and not in the scary wilds of Usenet or FB or some other mean place. Yikes!

Another Award! ๐Ÿคฉ

A big bouquet ๐Ÿ’ of thanks goes out to Tanya of Salted Caramel for nominating me for this award! Very lovely of her to think of me. I enjoy her blog as well.๐Ÿ’–

Now I’m to talk about how my blog began. As I’ve mentioned, this isn’t my first blog; that one started way back in 2003 or so, simply because other writers had one. Yep, I’m a follower, not a leader. My posts were snarky and intended to start arguments in order to generate traffic, which they did, but it was still low compared to the hot blogs at the time. Back then, I was obsessed with stats.

But I got hoisted by my own petard, as they say. (Do they actually say that? And what is a petard anyway?) Long story short, I ended up in an huge kerfuffle over pit bulls, of all things, and my comments got hacked… it was quite a mess.

I don’t like mess. What I generally do when things get messy, ugly, yucky, or in any way unpleasant, is GTFO. And Ultrablog was no exception. I archived and deleted it.

A while later, I began a second blog. This one was incredibly boring. Deliberately so. I posted only about cats, cupcakes, and shoes ~ in fact, that was the name of the blog. But I did have a private one where I posted more personal things and invited selected readers whom I trusted.

After my mom died, the private blog had pretty much served its purpose, and I was bored with CC&S. So, I began Light Motifs on Blogger. I held the WordPress address just in case… and then it turned out I wanted to switch over in 2009 due to some annoyances with Blogger.

Back then, I posted infrequently compared to now, maybe a few times per week. I’d post song lyrics and other people’s poetry, book reviews and excerpts, etc. It was all regarding my emotional state at the time, which was a mix of hope and despair over a romance. After that ended and I went onto dating sites, this blog became a pit of bitching about that. I went through several cycles of deleting those posts, which is why the years between 2012-2017 have giant gaps in them.

Since I’ve quit dating and facebooking, I’ve not deleted any posts here. I’m more mindful of what I write in the first place, which is my first piece of advice to new bloggers (we’re supposed to give two bits of advice in this award post). Even if you don’t have many followers yet, try to keep in mind that your posts are public and envision an audience when you write. Make each post the best it can be, and give something of yourself to your audience, whether it’s a personal anecdote or an original creative writing or photo. Don’t just link to another site without comment. That’s no fun. ๐Ÿ˜ข

And for heaven’s sake, never mention pit bulls! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿคฏ

I’ll stop here because I don’t like to tag people for awards. I hereby nominate all my recent commenters for this one ~ you’re recognized! Grab the award and make a post. G’wan… don’t be shy! ๐Ÿ˜€

Blogsturbation

It just occurred to me to follow myself. I’m sure that must be legal in California. And now look! ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ‘€๐ŸŽ‰ I have finally zoomed up to 800 WP followers, woohoo! I’m in the big leagues now, baby! Yeehaw!

Yeah, yeah. I know some of you have 1000, 2000, 8000, whatever. But plz remember that I stagnated here for a decade posting sad song lyrics and complaining about dating sites to around 12 people via email plus my Facebook friends. It’s only recently since I dumped FB that I began interacting with the WP writing community.

Love you all! โค๏ธ

(Hope this is okay for the Weekly Smile.)

Mystery Blogger Award

Rory, of A Guy Called Bloke, has gifted me with this wonderful award to brighten up my morning. Thank you, Rory! I must say that Rory is among my favorite bloggers ~ he really makes an effort to draw our little community together by posting a variety of super fun interactive games, stories, and linked events. He also makes the rounds of his followed favorites regularly, and not merely to drop likes (guilty) but to leave meaningful and funny comments. I’ve found many other great bloggers via his links and games too because he makes an effort to introduce us to one another. Not least, Rory is a fantastic storyteller! I love his poems and his creativity. I don’t know how he finds the time for so much writing; and today I learned he plays WoW too? My gosh. He must never sleep! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Award Guidance

Thank whoever gifted you and include a link to their blog. โœ…

Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well. โœ…

Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.

1. I put my novel Ghosted on hold, since it made me too stressed to keep failing to progress on it. Not to mention that once it’s done… so what? It’ll sell about 10 copies like all my other books, so why bother?

2. I’m in chronic pain, which gets me down at times. Not everyone has the cheery TV pain personality and focuses on their “blessings” every minute.

3. I suppose I should write something upbeat so I don’t sound like a horrible crab… errr, my cat was healthy at his last checkup, yayyy! ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ’–

Answer the questions from the person who gifted you the Award.

Rory posted a video of skeletons and things dancing in a graveyard and asked…

Would you do the above dance naked on the rooftop for a cookie?

No.

Why Not?

Because I don’t want to get arrested.

You would? Really? Why?

N/A.

Ok, how about for 1000 in your currency?

Still no.

Ok, how about for a 100,000 in your currency?

Okay. I’ll pick the rooftop and let you know when I find one sufficiently deserted.

Choose 3 bloggers that you wish to gift the Award to.

I choose all bloggers who haven’t yet received a mystery award. YOU ARE TAGGED!

Ask 5 questions of your choice with one weird or funny one.

1. Are you still using Facebook?

2. Why or why not?

3. What about Twitter?

4. Add me on Twitter? @lightm0tifs

5. Why do we have to take all the tea in China and dump it in the deep blue sea just because “she” is as sweet as Tupelo honey???

Notify those you gift the Award to.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! ๐Ÿ˜›

Sorry Sorry Sorry!

I’m tired of useless, BS apologies. Haven’t we heard enough of them already? All these phony baloney pretensions of being contrite when everyone knows that the only thing the [celeb, politician, spouse, etc.] is sorry about is the fact that they got caught doing whatever thing. ๐Ÿ™„

I expect that in the coming weeks we’ll be treated to a parade of sorries from the criminals caught up in the college cheating scandal. You know they’re unrepentant. You know they haven’t suddenly found a moral compass. They’re just sorry they got caught.

I would love to see real justice served up to these uber wealthy who believe they can sail through life flinging money at every obstacle until it disappears, but I’ve been told that is unlikely. Money is power after all. These superrich celebs know another scandal will be along soon, and theirs will thaw in the public mind until it melts from view.

It was a relief to read that Faux News creep announcing how he refused to apologize for his nasty comments about women and girls. He knows he’s a jerk. He knows we know ~ and he doesn’t give a crap. No one has to pretend to accept his fake apology because he isn’t giving one. Win win!

On the other hand, when someone is forced to apologize for saying something nasty or doing a bad, and you know they don’t mean it, our cultural norms dictate that you give them a second chance even when you know in your heart they’re insincere. That’s really annoying. ๐Ÿ˜ก

Then what happens? All too predictably, they go and do the same thing again. We’ve all seen it, haven’t we? Both in our personal lives and with public figures. I used to buy into the second chance garbage, especially with romance ~ I can’t tell you how many plots are built around the concept of the “second chance romance,” and it seeps into your mindset that you should be forgiving. Well, that’s crapadoo.

We should be more judgmental is what. If your instincts say someone is a lying jerk, and they’ve hurt you once, then why accept an apology? Why give a second chance? Eff all that. Pffft. ๐Ÿ˜›

Yeah, if time has passed and someone has demonstrably changed their behavior, that’s a different thing. Then their apology isn’t just a giant bowl of moldy word salad.

*

Speaking of misogyny. This is in no way a defense of the Faux News creep, but we are sure weird about bodies, especially female ones. I mean, we have “pageants” where women (or girls even, gah) are supposed to glorify their physical looks in bikinis and glittery gowns, with loads of makeup on their faces and their hair styled all sexy, etc., but men are not supposed to be attracted to them, and if they are, they must not express their attraction in any sort of inappropriate language. What is the right way for a man to say that Miss Maine is appealing to him without sounding degrading or demeaning? “Gosh, I would love to discuss poetry with her over a nice cup of tea?” ๐ŸŒน

There are men who haven’t been present at teen beauty pageants, ever. I would wager most men have not. So, we don’t know what most adult men would say to their friends about these girls. Maybe adult men shouldn’t be at these pageants. Maybe we shouldn’t have contests where teen girls are judged by adult men on how they look in bikinis. Just some thought noodles…

*

WordPress apparently did not want to be left out of the #failloop of Gmail and Facebook, which both went kerflooey this week, Gmail on Tuesday and FB yesterday. (I only know about FB from everyone’s moaning ~ happily, I do not have any FB products myself.) So, last night I was yet again treated to a 12+ hour gap in posts in my newsfeed. If you’re wondering why you’re missing my hearts and cheery comments, this is the reason. ๐Ÿ˜ข

I did search for the prompts however, and to my delight lots of them could be applied (with a wrench) to this very post I had saved in drafts, hurrah! Of course, I needed to write a zillion more words, but when does that stop me? (Hint: never.) I hope everyone has read to the bitter end looking for the prize!

Erm, there isn’t one.

So very sincerely sorry that you read all these words for nothing. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

~*~

Opposites Attract: Challenge 9

Opposites Attract: Challenge 11

[yes, I skipped 10 ~ even my wrench could not make it fit]