Tag Archives: deletefacebook

FEXIT Anniversary

Cat walks away from explosion

Somewhere around this week or so, two years ago, I exited Facebook. I don’t mean I took a break; I mean I deleted my account (Instagram too). Not only don’t I miss the endless flamewars, fake news, intrusive ads, hacking, privacy invasions, creepy scams, and daily time wasting blabber, but from what I hear, it’s only gotten worse.

I received grief for this, natch. Certain people were unhappy with me ~ they felt rejected and refused to communicate with me via other means. They did not share my concerns about the hacking, etc. I didn’t judge them for staying and still don’t; my daughters remain on Facebook, after all. It makes sense to be where everyone else is. I just don’t want to. I lack the willpower to resist jumping into the flames myself, and there goes my free time.

Space time wormhole

Others thought I’d feel isolated and return. I do feel isolated, but in a good way. There are times I get a tiny reminder of FB via Messenger, which unfortunately I still have due to some friends’ refusal to text. People like to form various Messenger groups and occasionally there are minor kerfuffles, like during the past few weeks over COVID-19.

Isn’t human behavior fascinating? On the one side we have doctors and scientists; and on the other we have… “but I wanna!” I believe I have summed up the entirety of the fussing with that, though I am positive that on FB it goes on and on and on. You log on and bam! You’re hit with those tags for another 127 comments… and who can resist reading them? Not me. Suddenly, you find yourself angry with friends and vice versa, over garbage some politician said who couldn’t give a crap about any of you.

But hey, if you still enjoy the place… great! I bet it’ll be booming this weekend since the USA has shut down and we have nowhere to go and no sports to watch. Please allow me to make a humble suggestion. Between ranting over other people hoarding TP and Lysol wipes, running to Costco (just one more time), telling your kids to move their junk out of the spare room cuz you’re working from home now, etc… why not buy my book? There’s no reason not to! It’s cheap, it’s fun, and it mocks everyone! Yay!

Switching Positions by Paula Light

Thanks in advance! Please don’t forget to leave a review. ❤️💙

~*~

Images from Google and Pexels.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ58: Shattered Illusions

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks…

What is something you’ve long believed to be true, but you now realize is not true?

This question definitely lives up to its name and has provoked a lot of thinkies. While there have been minor and/or short-lived beliefs I’ve held that life has popped like a room full of party balloons, nothing comes close to my cherished and false belief in love. 💔

Now before people start hollering at me… I am not saying I have ceased to believe that love exists. Don’t be silly. Of course, I know that people find love all the time. Other people. What I mean is that for decades I was absolutely certain with an unwavering faith that love existed for me. A soul mate. All that romance novel crap. But soon I’m going to turn 59 and I have given up. In fact, I can pinpoint exactly when I gave up: Thanksgiving 2016 when I got dumped by someone I really believed was a good guy who wanted to be with me and would follow through on the plans we’d made. 🥀

Some people will say that it’s because I gave up that I can’t find love. There’s some woo theory that you must behave as if love is already in your life and wake up every day with the idea that you will be with your soul mate imminently. So, you’ll be happy and smiling and dressing beautifully, since you would be doing these things if you were meeting your love for brunch… and then by some miracle he will appear at the car wash or something. Idk. It’s not my theory, so don’t expect me to defend it! 🤣

The thing is, how long does a reasonable human behave this way? Six months? Ten years? You wake up happy, smiling, put on a gorgeous glittering gown, sashay off to the car wash… and they go, “Jesus, it’s that crazy lady again waiting for her soul mate! When is she gonna bring a car here?”

So, anyway. Giving up gave me freedom. I quit the dating sites. I deleted Meetups. I even exited Facebook and Instagram. All the social media sites that were supposed to make you feel connected to people (and potential soul mates), but left me feeling more isolated and alone. I began to focus only on work, family, friends, and writing. I quit spending money trying to look “sexy” for some man I hadn’t met and most likely never would. I revitalized my blog, which has always been my favorite form of “social media.” 😻

Now, in a movie or novel, this is exactly when I would meet my soul mate, right? When I’m focused on my own life and doing things that bring me joy, rather than searching outward for happiness. But this is real life not a romcom… so no.

Bitmoji shrug

~*~

Image credits to Fandango and Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Navel Glazing

Magenta daisy

Dr. Tanya asks more blogging questions about blogging bloggers…

 1. Do you like to respond to writing prompts?

It depends. I haven’t been doing many this month because I had a lot of other stuff going on. I committed to doing the daily music prompt for Bee, and I was busy with my political love story. But yesterday I did a combo post for Fandango’s Flash Fiction prompt, and that worked out well. When I do writing prompts, I like to combine them.

Typewriter explosion

 2. Do you feel that they add value to your blog?

Fiction and poetry add “value” to my blog, as do posts about writing in general, book and movie reviews, and other cultural jabber that can add depth and interest to fictional settings and characters. What doesn’t add value are boring “Facebook” type get-to-know-ya lists of favorite colors and ice cream crap posts that I try to avoid.

I love to read other bloggers’ short fiction and poetry, whether from prompts or not. There’s so much creativity here!

 3. What is your favourite kind of writing prompt?

I am more likely to respond to an idea, or words that together form an idea in my mind. Sometimes I’ll respond to a dreamy picture that inspires a poem.

Walking with a red umbrella underneath a full moon

 4. Which ones are you less likely to do?

I won’t post yucky pictures here and I try to avoid politics, religion, and graphic sex, not that this is a blog for little kids or anything. But those are my preferences. If you want to read spicier stuff from me, buy my books.

I also don’t like a lot of rules about writing for fun. When I post a prompt, I tell people to respond how they wish. To me, that’s ideal. If I see a prompt that tells me I need to reply with 87 words all starting with Q, stand on my head, and click a freaking blue frog, ya know what? HARD PASS.

Bitmoji boom

~*~

Image credits to Bitmoji and idk… Google?

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 22

Monday Peeve cat

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

*

What’s with the dickheads who respond to me in other bloggers’ comments? Rarely, if ever, do they have anything nice to say. They only pop up like demented clowns to criticize. Um, hello, jerko, I don’t know you, so what makes you think I care what you have to say about my response to Fandango or Lydia or whomever?

I’ll tell you why they don’t simply write a new comment directly to the blogger ~ it’s because they’re attention whores. They need me to see that they have something critical to say about what I wrote, so they make sure I get a notification. Idiots. I try never to engage with them.

This is part of the reason I left Facebook: friends of friends who insisted on arguing with me over scraps of nothing. I had some friends who collected these people like garden weasels, ready to snap at anyone’s ankles who wandered by. I’d block them, but there were always new ones. It made the entire experience unpleasant, aside from the constant privacy and data issues.

Strangers with opinions! Grrrrr. Go away. No, I don’t want to turn these strangers into friends, thanks. I already have enough friends with annoying opinions. 🤣

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Scary Sharing [ranty]

Scream

Questions from Sparks

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat) a good thing, a bad thing or a mixture of both?

Bad. Right now, I have a Twitter account, which I mainly use for poetry prompts and news, but the way others use it to argue and snark 24/7? Bad. It contributes to our nasty, bullying culture. Of course nastiness and bullying existed before the internet, but we weren’t hooked into it every minute of the day. You could take an actual break from school and not look at what people were saying. But now? Well, naturally you “need to know.” Same goes for the garbage on FB and Insta… you can’t be out of the loop! 😱

Before people fly into a tizzy, I’m not saying anything should be banned. I voluntarily left Facebook and Instagram. I suggest you do the same. Unfortunately I still have an account I made just to use Messenger for the convenience of friend chats, but I hope that’s temporary. It irritates me that some friends are opposed to normal texting.

I am absolutely opposed to the constant political screamfest on every corner of the internet that has accomplished absolutely nothing. Everyone is now able to screech about how much they hate X and get a pile of X-haters to agree, and another pile of Y-haters to engage in an endless namecalling jamboree, yippee doodle. What a great way to spend our free time. 🙄

Besides that, social media has destroyed privacy. Many of us overshare in so many ways; it’s the new normal to blurt out our feelings all the time to the whole world or to our 500 “friends.” Not only that, but in order to have “free” access to the things, we give giant corporations all our info, and shrug off periodic hacking and ID theft as a cost of doing business because we simply must stay connected 24/7 to these people who actually don’t even notice when we disappear. They really don’t.

People begged me not to leave Facebook. Then they laughed and said I’d be back in a month. Now, they’ve forgotten me. There are bloggers who have left. Some used to post and comment all the time. Who even ever thinks about them?

Are you camera shy or do you pose for the camera with confidence?

I’m not a fan of people taking my pic when I’m talking or have a mouthful of food. I always let people know when I’m taking their photo, and if they don’t want me to, I don’t. That said, if someone asks, I’ll always smile and agree. Why not ask? It’s just good manners.

Is there anything you’ve kept from younger years for sentimental reasons alone?

I have a folder full of school stuff to remind me of how much potential I once had and that I let it fade away to nothing.

Do you like to decorate for different holidays?

When I had a house I did. I especially went all out for Halloween because that’s such a fun holiday to me, with no pressure for family dinners or gifts. It’s just pure silly enjoyment. For the kids I mean! 🤣🎃👻

Halloween pumpkin head

~*~

Laura’s October Challenge (Day 7)

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 2

The Monday Peeve

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

Here we go then with today’s…

I can’t stand it when numbers don’t work. This is an enormous peeve of mine. Words may have imprecise definitions, tastes often vary, people can wobble into walls, but numbers dammit? No, I do not accept it when numbers fail.

Here’s an example. Someone tried to send me money via PayPal using my phone number and the funds were returned. PayPal said they didn’t know my number, which happens to be the one I’ve been using for 20 years with them. So, I called them up, confirmed my phone, and they said oh it’s better to use an email address. Why? Why would it be better to use letters over numbers? They had no answer for me. Utterly maddening.

I was so annoyed I was going to switch to Venmo except I saw that PayPal owns Venmo. It’d be like giving up Facebook and keeping Messenger. Who’d be silly enough to do that?

Oh right. Me. 🙄

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.❤️🧁💙

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

One Of These Knights…

Knight on horse

On this day, I learned that Facebook is galloping into the dating site biz… after snoozing in the stall for all these years. And I’m sure the first thought to occur to everyone is… OMG will this motivate Paula to end her extended FB vacation?

Ha ha ha ha!

No.

Remember, I didn’t merely deactivate my FB account… I deleted it. And to create a new account, I’d have to create a new email address, which is much too annoying to contemplate. Plus, I hate Facebook. Also, I hate dating. Hmm, I believe that covers everything. Sorry for being brusque.

But! I haven’t given up on finding my dream man… I just increasingly believe that he’s most likely not hanging around on the interwebnets. He may have done so, at some point in the past, and we pixeled past each other like clicks in the night, but he is doing something else now… like writing spontaneously great poetry beside a meandering stream, or perhaps painting psychedelic works of art under a tree…

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Mental Health ~ Social Media

Thinking

Beckie has been providing a great series of prompts about various topics related to mental health. I haven’t been chiming in, but I made some time for this one. [My bad, I originally credited it to Ashley, and I’ll leave her link below, since it’s where I found the post to use.]

This week’s topic is social media.

Prompt #1 Questions: 

1. Does social media affect your overall mental health?  If so, please describe how it does affect you? 

– Yes, blogging affects my mental health in a positive way because I have control over my blog and can vet the comments (when necessary). Twitter can go both ways. I read good poetry there, which is inspiring; but sometimes I end up reading too much of the political garbage, which is a downer.

2. How does it make you feel when you see family/friends posting pictures of them living their life happily?  

– This is mostly irrelevant to me because I am not on Facebook or Instagram. When I see bloggers posting happy photos, I smile with them.

3. Do the following people make you feel inadequate in any way due to your mental health?    

– Is the question about envy? Am I sad when I see people in couples? No. I know what it would take for me to be in a relationship and am not willing to make those sacrifices (again). As far as family photos, I have lots of those myself, but I don’t post many out of respect for their privacy.

4. What has been your overall experience with social media?  And, what sites do you follow?  

– As I said, blogging has been a wonderful and positive experience. The writing community here on WP is full of kind and supportive people. Twitter is somewhat positive. Facebook was a net negative and I let it go. Instagram too.

5. Have you considered not being on social media?  

– Sometimes, when I feel time-pressured and discouraged by zero book sales. Like, why am I bothering? I could just read and watch TV. But it’s fun regardless.

6. If you have quit social media sites, has it improved your mental health and stability?  

– Quitting Facebook was one of the best decisions I’ve made. Not only did it suck me into the most pointless arguments about the SOS, but it gave me the false impression I had all these “friends,” which of course was bullshit. Most of them couldn’t even be bothered to visit me here after there was no link in their facefeed. Bookmark? Huh?

7. Has social media ever triggered you in a negative way?  Explain how?  

– Yes. There is a problem with some of the sites in that they are relentless in showing you people (“suggestions”) you would rather never see again. Forex, I can’t log on to LinkedIn without them suggesting I connect with the man who broke my heart. There’s no way to block him or whatever. It’s been long enough now, and my heart has been smashed up worse, for his face not to matter to me any longer. But there were a few years I could not touch the site.

*

Prompt #2  We are all familiar with “Selfies”  Describe for us, what is the first thing you think of when you see your family/friends keep sending and/or posting selfies?

– This is no longer an issue for me, since I’m off FB. I love seeing any/all pics of my family, and my friends aren’t into selfies. I’ve never perfected the art of the selfie. Back on FB, there were some women who took a lot of selfies and it always appeared like a desperate attention-seeking ploy.

Then again, aren’t we all on social media to get attention of one kind or another?

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Oopsy

Some of you may have seen a 3TC slip through the fabric of time and appear at 10AM today instead of 10PM. That was not some sort of weird bend in the universe, but human error… mine. This should put to rest those pesky rumors that I am a bot, since a bot would not screw up. I suppose a bot could be programmed to screw up to seem more human-like however. Ooh.

In any case, I rescheduled the stray post to return tonight as it should, so if you’re one of those suck-ups who do homework in advance to get brownie points, the link is not going to work until later. You can preen though at the thought of having your 3TC finished before others and then run off to do something productive. Oh, who are we kidding, right? You’ll be glued to your screen as usual, waiting for your next hit of posts.

Probably for the best. At least we’re safe in Blogland surrounded by supportive folks and not in the scary wilds of Usenet or FB or some other mean place. Yikes!