Tag Archives: cake & pie

Surprise!

Dock sunset water

Peeking through the window, Lydia’s surprise turned to horror when she saw them stumble drunkenly up the boat dock, trip, and drop the birthday cake splat on the ground.

“Grandma?” she said to the snoozing old lady in the rocker. “The guys are here for your special day.”

“Wha’ day?” Grandma mumbled.

Lydia hadn’t wanted the party at all while she was hiding out, but her brothers had simply shown up. Any excuse to down some brews, she guessed and rolled her eyes.

“Your ninety-fifth birthday!” Lydia pasted on a fake smile as her brothers banged on the door and hollered. All she had to do was stay gone another 24 hours and she would get everything, while her ex would end up blamed for the whole financial fiasco.

“Hey, guys!” She opened the door and hugged her annoying siblings. It was nice they still cared about Grandma, even a little.

“The cake met with a little accident, Lyd,” Gary said. “Sorry about that. Maybe we can bake one.”

“Who’s this?” Lydia gestured at a fourth man behind the group.

“He’s a friend of Tommy’s,” Brian said.

Tommy belched. “I thought he was Gary’s friend.”

The man stepped forward and shoved an envelope into Lydia’s hand. “You’ve been served,” he said. “Have a nice day.”

As Lydia watched him stride away, detouring around the smashed cake, she felt her careful plans crumble to ruins.

~*~
Image credit to Kenrick Mills @Unsplash.

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See and Fandango’s Story Starter.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Say Yes to the Marquess [repost]

wedding rings

This romance novel’s title is likely a play on the TV show “Say Yes to the Dress,” and it makes sense because Tessa Dare’s book is all about convincing the reluctant Clio she should still wed whazzface even though he ran off to do mysterious work for the Crown and she’s been all abandoned and gossiped about for 8 years. Rafe, whazzface’s hunky prizefighter brother, is trying to do the convincing.

I really enjoyed this book, except for when Rafe breaks character to give Clio a totally ridic flowery speech about her looks. Otherwise, the writing is top-notch. The characters are super-interesting and complex ~ not just the protags, but also her sisters, his trainer, etc. The twists and turns kept me guessing exactly how the story would get to the HEA, and I appreciate that. The one thing about the resolution I didn’t love was a “telling not showing” of Clio’s discussion with whazzface, said convo important to her character development.

There is cake in this book. A LOT OF CAKE. Wedding cake after wedding cake. There is a completely awesome cake scene that you need to read if you love cake and sex (who doesn’t love cake?). The leitmotif (!!!) continues throughout the story. I am particularly drawn to the cake in Say Yes because I never had a proper wedding cake, the lack of which I am convinced doomed my marriages.

~*~

Image from Pixabay.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

5 Things I Love About Fall

Halloween witch hotel California

I haven’t done one of these #5things posts since my refresh, but I can’t resist listing some fall faves, not to mention having an excuse to use this fun image in homage to the first line of “Hotel California.” Thanks, Dr. Tanya, for the prompt.

1. While I adore the summer sun and warmth, I am much more productive when there’s less daylight. Why? I dunno. I’ve already started working on another half-finished book that’s been languishing on Google Drive. This makes me happy!

2. Pumpkin everything. Bring it on, haters! Er, not the oatmeal… that was disgusting. But pumpkin spiced coffee, cookies, cupcakes, and pie? Hell yeah!

3. Wearing corduroy pants, cute boots, cozy sweaters, etc., in yummy fall colors ~ brown, gold, burnt orange, burgundy, teal. Mmhmm.

4. Traveling up to Alameda to be with my daughter and her hubby over Thanksgiving.

5. Giving adorable Chanukah gifts to my grands and spending time with them.

~*~

Image source unknown.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

A Whore’s Breakfast [repost]

red velvet cake

My new band name. Also, breakfast.

The first time I remember reading the phrase “a whore’s breakfast” was in Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Are you old enough to remember when that book was a thing? Good. As I vaguely recall, some mean bastard husband said that to his wife when she and the kids were having birthday cake for breakfast.

I loved the phrase, especially because I’ve been eating cake for breakfast ever since I learned to count calories. Instead of smashing all my calories into an enormous dinner, I often save the dessert for the next day. I don’t like feeling full at bedtime, and it’s fun to look forward to cake (or pie, if you’re one of the weirdos who prefer pie to cake) in the AM.

(Sometimes I have dessert instead of dinner just to mix it up. Yes, I am a wild and crazy chick.)

Urban Dico says that a whore’s breakfast is coffee and a cigarette though. Or possibly a Coke. Hmm. Those just sound like high school breakfasts to me. Not that being in HS and being a whore have to be mutually exclusive.

I prefer to think of cake, especially birthday cake, as the true whore’s breakfast. It’s just so decadent and anti-traditional. Goes against everything your mom told you was Right & Good.

I hope my pairing of whore and cake in the same post generates a lot of strange hits.

~*~

Image is mine.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Life Is Short…

yellow cupcake kitty cat

Eternal rest looms closer
As each new dawn comes ‘round;
Tick tock goes the clock…
Does the world get you down?
Every day, endless tasks await,
Stress piled on stress…
Sometimes the whole mess
Explodes into disaster.
Really, who wants salad now, or
Teriyaki fish and a sensible rice dish?

No. We need a decadent pastry puff,
Luscious ladyfingers, scrumptious spumoni,
Maybe just a simple jar
Of Nutella. Get those sugar highs
Before the clock runs out.

~*~

Image is mine.
Poetry form: acrostic plus.
Written for dVerse.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

Holiday Treats

Christmas cookies

Lately I’ve avoided some of the standard prompt questions in order to create a more poetry and fiction-focused blog, but today PCGuyIV asks about our favorite holiday treats and, well, I can’t resist talking about cookies.

While I adore lots of special occasion nummies, from pumpkin-shaped Reese’s PB cups to heart-shaped Reese’s PB cups to Christmas tree-shaped Reese’s PB cups… to, um, other stuff… there is nothing more delicious in this world than buttery, sugary Spritz cookies. Of course, they must be made in a old-fashioned metal press, with some dough colored red and other dough green and some left plain, and then sprinkled with colorful doodads when done. They should look exactly like the pic above I borrowed from Life, Love and Sugar. No frosting! No choccy! My mommy and I used to make butter Spritzes every year. So so so good!

Mom also used to make rum balls, which I love, but they’re so heartburny to me now. Mostly they’re smashed vanilla wafers smooshed up with rum and more sugar, shaped into balls, and left to ferment for a few weeks. I think it was the lure of “those aren’t ready yet!” that made them so enticing. I also like gingerbread a whole lot.

Chanukah provides yummy treats as well, and while I hate the jelly doughnuts, I love the latkes and applesauce. Gelt is also delicious (chocolate coins), especially if you buy it from See’s. This is how I prefer chocolate anyway: by itself. I’m not a fan of chocolate frosting or dipping cookies into chocolate unless they’re almond crescents, which seem to be available only in New York. Of course, I love chocolate chip cookies, but you can have those anytime and this post is about holiday yums.

What about other holidays? Meh. Valentine candy isn’t anything special you can’t get throughout the year. I’m not a big fan of hamentashen (Purim triangle cookies), and Easter candy is pretty barf except for the aforementioned PB cups (egg-shaped in this case). Passover food is hideous, and I’m not into any of the meat-grilling rituals of Memorial Day and July 4th.

That brings us to Thanksgiving, which is many people’s favorite food holiday, but I don’t like most of the traditional items, with one exception ~ stuffing! I love love love stuffing, especially if it contains mushrooms or oysters. Turkey is meh. Mashed potatoes meh. Sweet potatoes OK. Cranberry sauce ick. Etc. Then there’s pie, which is OK. I mean, of course I enjoy pie… I’m not a psychopath! But compared to Spritz cookies? No contest.

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

SLS: Howdya Do

carrot cake

This week’s Song Lyric Sunday had me stumped for a bit. All the songs that I thought might have “greet” in them had only “meet.” I really wanted “Green Green Grass of Home,” a beautifully sad story-song. But rules are rules, amitrite? I thought of doing “Hey Hey Paula,” except I hate that song, lol. Then I remembered a song I had shared before my refresh: “If I Knew You Were Comin’ I’d’ve Baked a Cake.” I vaguely recalled there was a “howdy-do” or three in those lyrics. Actually, there are a lot! Since “how do you do” is the long-form of howdy, I figured howdya would be OK with Jim.

This is a super oldie ~ it was written in 1950 by Al Hoffman, Bob Merrill, and Clem Watts. The best known version was recorded by Eileen Barton, and while you may never have heard of it, the song hit No. 1 in 1950! Not only that, but it was included in a Billboard list of Perennial Hits, meaning you can’t go wrong playing and discussing it on the radio.

If you take the lyrics at face value, they’re very sweet. A woman might be singing to an old flame or simply to a friend whom she’s missed greatly. She’s so happy to see him, and she invites him into her home, wishing she had known of his visit in advance so she could have prepared a celebration, including cake.

But, being me, I prefer to take the lyrics sarcastically. I figure this song is talking about an arrogant, selfish man who breezes in and out of people’s lives whenever the whim takes him. He thinks so highly of himself that he expects his friends to drop everything to see him whenever he pops back into town. The woman singing is his ex-lover whom he treated disrespectfully, yet he expects her to cater to him if he happens to be in the vicinity. For a long time, she may have pined away for him, but now she has her own life and snarks at his notion of expecting her to still wait on him. Bake a cake? Yeah, sure buddy! After the way you treated me? Eff that. Here’s some cold leftover Chinese food. Enjoy! Hope it hasn’t gone bad…

Welp. Maybe I have some issues, lol.

If I Knew You Were Comin’ I’d’ve Baked a Cake

Well, well, well. Look who’s here.
I haven’t seen you in many
A year.

If I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve baked a cake, baked a cake, baked a cake
If I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve baked a cake
Howdya do, howdya do, howdya do?

Had you dropped me a letter, I’d a-hired a band, grandest band in the land
Had you dropped me a letter, I’d a-hired a band
And spread the welcome mat for you

Oh, I don’t know where you came from
‘Cause I don’t know where you’ve been
But it really doesn’t matter
Grab a chair and fill your platter
And dig, dig, dig right in
[…]

I could share a video of Eileen Barton’s beautiful singing, but instead I’m going with humor and sharing the Sesame Street version. Mmm cake!

~*~

Image is mine.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

12 Bloggerz

twelve 12 rainbow

I don’t always answer questions these days, but when I do… they are interesting ones! Here are my replies to Rory’s latest asks in his 12 Bloggers series.

  1. Have you learned anything during the pandemic and especially the lockdowns that has changed your outlook on you, your life and or your personality that is truly significant?

    Yes. I used to believe I was a true introvert who could be content not having any social life whatsoever, but that turns out to be false. What I liked was having social options, most of which I rejected, but the idea was that they existed if I wanted them. When they all disappeared, I missed them. I was so lonely last Spring, I returned to Facebook to have more people to interact with! And now that I can get together with people face to face, I am really enjoying it. But I still don’t accept more than 2 social events per week because ugh. There’s a good article in Psychology Today about people like me ~ we are called “outgoing introverts,” meaning we can be the life of the party when we want to, but we also need a lot of alone time to recharge.

  2. In your ideal world or lifestyle, how much sleep do you think you really need to function at your most optimum level and more importantly – do you get your desired amount daily?

    I do well with 6 hours of sleep and I usually get about that. If it’s broken up, I’ll need a bit more.

  3. Are you a thinker, a deep thinker or an active overthinker and if so what do you think about the most and for how long do you need to ‘think’ on a problem before you reach a satisfactory resolve or what steps do you undertake to not think as much?

    This question is too general to be meaningful. My thinking process entirely depends on the situation. Sometimes I overthink, while other times I respond immediately. I probably am not what one would term a “deep thinker,” since I get too bored with any particular topic to explore it thoroughly. I like flitting around various subjects, landing on one for a little while, and then moving on. One thing I strive for is consistency, but that can be difficult to attain perfectly.

  4. What are you most terrified of today?


    That the DMV will have no record of my appointment when I show up this afternoon and I’ll have to sit there for a hundred years.

  5. What do you do for fun or excitement to fill your day/days or week?

    I am content with a quiet, simple life of work, writing, reading, and games. I don’t need any more excitement beyond the daily Solitaire challenges.

  6. What is one of the most important features people should know about you?

    I’ll probably say no to whatever thing you ask of me, unless I’ve given birth to you or you’re signing my paycheck. Ideally, both, lol.

  7. Whilst in recent times much of life has appeared gloomy and doomed – in the last 15 months or so, what have been 3 really good things to happen in your life?

    I met my new grandson. I began playing Dixit online. I bought a condo.

  8. How often do you watch old television series and if you do, what makes for a good viewing on older content in your eyes and do you find that time relaxing?

    Pretty much never now. They’re not as good as I imagine they were. I was super disappointed in That Girl, I Dream of Jeannie, Match Game, One Day at a Time, etc.

  9. How often do you use herbs in your cooking and which ones are your most favourited and why?

    I like basil and sea salt. Why? Because they taste good! But mostly I do not cook…

  10. How confident are you about taking a vacation/holiday to another destination that would involve air travel?

    Pretty confident. I am going to book a flight to Northern California for Thanksgiving soon. But I never have been a big traveler and I don’t intend to start. It’s too expensive and too disruptive to the routines I enjoy. Plus, with chronic back pain and frequent migraines, I wouldn’t have much fun, so why spend the money?

  11. Are you a tidy or a messy or somewhere inbetween type of person?

    I think of myself as average, but in fact I seem to be tidier than almost everyone else. I don’t often do a deep cleaning because of my backaches, but everything is in its proper place.

  12. What is the most useless product you have ever bought unwittingly or accidentally thinking it was more practical than it actually was?

    Oh lots! I bought a cheapo carpet/upholstery steamer a few years ago and it was a complete dud. I have a whole mop floor cleaning kit, but it’s a pain to use, so I mostly just vacuum. I’ve bought a lot of doodads for my hair I never wear. And probably the dumbest thing I’ve purchased was a cake pan in the shape of a flower. The “petals” are on the top, so if you frost the cake, they disappear. What the hell is the point of that? No one wants an unfrosted cake!

~*~

Image from Cliparts.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

With Apologies to Julie Andrews [repost]

Julie Andrews

My Favorite Foods

Pasta with seafood and butt’ry potatoes;
Pizza with mushrooms; grilled cheese and tomatoes;
Avos all ripened and berries of blue…
These are a few of my favorite foods.
Warm PB cookies and cupcakes with icing;
Nachos and mangoes and pie so enticing;
Brownies so fudgy you have to eat two…
These are a few of my favorite foods.
French toast with cinn’mon and syrup is yummy;
Burgers with pickles get into my tummy;
Ice cream with caramel and choc’late ooh ooh
These are a few of my favorite foods.
When the spam bites,
When the troll spews,
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite foods,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

~*~

Written for Fandango’s Dog Days 10.
Photo from The Sound of Music.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

My Wild and Crazy NorCal Adventure!

Paula and Diane

Last weekend I drove up to Alameda to spend a few days with my daughter Diane and her hubby Sam, plus their critters Rory and Zizi. I stopped frequently to stretch my legs so my back would not freeze up. Took me more than 8 hours (supposed to be about 6.5), but I was okay with that.

Friday night we ordered a strange pizza with ricotta cheese blobs… Diane and I loved it! Sam, not so much.

Pizza

To get even for the pizza, Sam kicked our butts at Scrabble. Next, we decided to watch a movie and chose Out of Africa. None of us liked it much, and Rory woofed at the doggie on screen. I fell asleep and we didn’t finish the film. Got a good night’s rest without being awakened by Gatsby’s howls.

On Saturday, we went to a mall in Walnut Creek to mosey around (everyone masked). Then we headed to lunch at Kabab Burgers in Lafayette. Everything was crowded, so we took our lunches to Sam’s parents’ house in Orinda.

Mediterranean sampler

Omg so delicious! The food was excellent and it was a beautiful day to dine al fresco. Then, the real adventure began. The lovely Orinda house is secluded in a gorgeous woodsy area, and I asked Sam where this path led I saw from the porch. He said there was a tiny old wooden schoolhouse back in the forest from like 100 years ago. Of course, Diane and I wanted to go see it. Sam led the way…

Sam in forest

Turned out there wasn’t much of a path and we had to hack our way through the wilderness like explorers in the Amazon. There were birds and bugs and probably salamanders, toads, and snakes. Bobcats and bears too! Finally, after an arduous 7 minutes or so of intense hiking, we found the schoolhouse.

But two things happened simultaneously. One, we saw that the building had collapsed into a pile of rotting wood. You couldn’t even tell what kind of structure it had been. Sad. Two, I lost my phone somewhere in the jungle. Oh no! Sam said we’d find it and not to worry. He took a pic of Dee and me with his phone.

Diane and Paula

We began to trace our steps back and search for my phone. Nothing. I looked around and realized what a vast woods it was, teeming with life. An eagle could have already swooped in and taken my phone, or a rattlesnake might have eaten it, or it could have sunk in a pile of quicksand. I was starting to panic in a major way. How would I get home sans GPS? What about my Scrabble games in progress? I’d miss out on all the Messenger chats! But then Dee called my number and it rang. Sam spotted my phone going off in a patch of leaves and handed it to me. Whew! What a relief!

We headed home and proceeded to play board games: Carcassonne, the Castles of Mad King Ludwig, and Ticket to Ride. I lost all of them. I wasn’t too hungry that night because of the big lunch, but I managed to try my pre-birthday cake and pie selections.

Birthday cake and pie

There was carrot cake and red velvet cake, both with scrumptious cream cheese frosting, and there was my favorite pie… key lime in a graham cracker crust. So yummy! No movies that night; we all read books on Kindle. Sunday morning I slept in even later and had cookies for breakfast. Lunch was a variety of dim sum (delivered) and later we took a walk with Rory.

Alameda geese

We saw lots of ducks and geese on the other side of the island, but it was windy and freezing, so we stayed out only a short time. Warmed up at home with some wine and baked brie, plus two rounds of Catan and two rounds of Lanterns (lost all, keeping my streak going). Doggo was happy to be back in her cozy bed.

Rory golden retriever dog
Zizi orange tabby cat

Kitty is older and not feeling well, so she mostly stays snuggled in a soft blanket. Poor sweetie. Sunday night came around so quickly… and then Monday morning when I headed back down south. Easy-peasy trip home with little traffic and a bit of drizzle in the middle of the journey. Visits with family are always too short! Already planning to return for Turkey Day. Hopefully I will get a chance to redeem myself at board games… will practice on friends in the meantime.

This trip is definitely my smile for the week.

~*~

Images are mine.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.