Tag Archives: aging

My Retirement Trip

I have a fantasy that after I retire (and G has passed over the rainbow bridge) I’ll see more of the U.S. I’ll do it leisurely, maybe by train, or partly by car… spend as much or as little time as I please wherever I go. I figure I can begin in the Northwest corner and see Vancouver. Then I’ll mosey on over to Montana and check out the Big Sky. Idk how long I’ll stay there before dipping south to visit Yellowstone…

Brown bear

Next, there will be a stop in North Dakota to visit the reptile zoo. Then I’ll make my way to the Chicago area, where hopefully I can visit some peeps and cruise around some old haunts. Then I would want to see a bit of Michigan before continuing on to Pennsylvania. Never have been to Philly, so I need to stay there a bit.

After that, I need to deal seriously with New England. Boston is a must-see, and also Providence. Burlington, VT is where some of my family lived way back, so it’s on the list. I want to go up to Maine too and see the places Stephen King writes about. Obviously, I will spend some time in New York, duh!

Manhattan New York City

I’ll journey down the East Coast and check out the touristy stuff in D.C. Gotta see some of Virginia also… and absolutely for sure Nashville. Dunno if there’s anything else I need to check out before visiting Atlanta. And I will definitely see New Orleans, as I’ve been wanting to for ages…

Apparently I have to cross some vast nothingness to get to New Mexico, where I’d likely spend a bunch of time seeing Cool Things. Breaking Bad, yo! Colorado is in the plan, even though I went as a teenager. Worth a second visit, imo. And Utah! Drove through Zion National Park once on the way to Vegas and it was utterly gorgeous. This time, I’d really see it. Arizona needs a revisit as well. Beautiful place!

Arizona Grand Canyon

Nice fantasy trip, yes? 😍

~*~

Written for Fandango’s Dog Days #1.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ80: Me Qua Me

Fandango provocatively asks…

Is the concept of “you” continuous or does the past “you” continually fade into the present and future “you”? Considering that your body, your mind, and your memories are changing over time, what part of “you” sticks around?

Interesting question, Fandango! I don’t actually believe there is a “me” (or a “you”) in the sense of a collection of qualities distinct from my physical being. Of course I have traits and characteristics, but I don’t define my essence with them… or with anything.

Yesterday I posted some adjectives to describe myself in response to a prompt. You wouldn’t be able to pick me out of a crowd by using them though. Description is not definition (try describing an apple to someone who has never experienced one). Some of these adjectives vary and some don’t. Forex, if I think of myself as a creative person, yet I go months/years without creating anything, then who am I really? I might knock that one off the list…

I used to worry that others had a solid core identity and could conceptualize it, while I did not. But I no longer believe that. What I mean is that, yes, others may think they have an identity, but it’s merely a collection of traits, preferences, memories, goals, etc. That’s what I come up with too, when I try to consider my me-ness.

So, yes, these descriptors change over time, as my body does, and they’re also twined together. My physical limitations inform some of my other traits. Would I dislike noise so much if I didn’t get migraines? I don’t know. I would like to think of myself as spontaneous and helpful, but I’m not because of chronic pain. I used to be more loving, giving, affectionate, and flexible toward others, but I’m not so much of those qualities now.

And also, no. Hah! There is an essence of me-ness that endures. It consists of my unique experiences and how I’ve chosen to interpret them. No one else has the exact same set of memories that I have. There may come a time however when I begin to forget memories I consider important now. How many can I lose before my me-ness vanishes as well?

I don’t know.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Girl Talk [flash 160]

wear purple

Carol danced into the room and interrupted the conversation. “Girls, how do you like the new me?”

“Uh, we liked the old you,” Janet said. “Gosh, that’s a lot of purple you’re wearing.”

“People are swearing?” Rosemary yelled.

“No, dear,” Carol shouted back. “Adjust your hearing aid. We are talking about how I’m going to live life to the fullest now that I’ve turned eighty-five.”

Janet waved a hand. “Don’t make excuses for wanting more male attention, Carol. We know how you are. But the guys are gonna laugh at your crazy clothing.”

“Psssh, I just passed Leo in the hall and he called me a hottie.” Carol smiled.

“Leo is blind, honey,” Rosemary said. “This hearing aid has a poor design. It’s not my fault. Did anyone bring coconut cookies?”

Carol swirled around the table. “People can believe whatever they want! Feathers and sequins make me happy!”

“Fine,” Janet said. “Are you in for Go Fish or not?”

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 20

Monday Peeve kitty

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

*

Morons! So annoying, amirite? And idiots, omg grrrr! Could do a whole peeve on ’em, but instead I’m gonna peeve about people who are so darn quick to label others not only stupid but implying they somehow deserve their fate because they just weren’t savvy enough to catch on to some piece of technology. Tough luck, Grandma. Too bad about your life savings, eh? You shoulda been smarter, like a 22 year old knowitall.

I see this online all the time… people gloating about how they would never fall for a scam and shrugging at all the idiots who did. Great, so you’re rooting for the criminals? Congratulations.

Who knows why someone makes a dumb mistake in the heat of the moment. Maybe they are mentally impaired or ill. Maybe they were sleepy or stressed. Maybe they clicked the button inadvertently. Do they “deserve” to then be fleeced by a crook? I say no!

It hasn’t happened to me, but it could. I’ve done other dumb things. And my father, a very smart man in his prime, got taken advantage of by con artists when he was old and incapacitated. Did he deserve that? No! He did not and neither do all the other confused old folks who are victims of crime every day.

It pisses me off when I read these smug people calling others morons because they were victims of a scam. Just wait. If you’re lucky enough to make it to 80, you might end up “moronic” one day yourself.

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House [socs]

Stream of consciousness Saturday

My last call (as of 10:15 Friday morning when I’m writing this) was from my Toyota guy. Why is he calling, I wondered, when I’m sitting right here in the waiting room drinking their coffee? But he said to come out to his “office,” so I did like a good little customer. He told me my filters were dirty and also they wanted to add a magic potion to my fuel. Naturally, these were not on my plan. I agreed because what do I know? Nothing! They know I know nothing, which makes it a great relationship.

What’s funny is that I used to yell at my father for doing this. Omg, old senile person, I fumed at him! (In nicer words.) Why go to the dealer rip-off service? Shop around! But he insisted he was comfortable at the dealer and didn’t mind paying a little more. Well, since then, my daughters got ripped off at other places, and by the time I got my new Corolla in 2016, what did I do? Took it right to the dealer for service even after the warranty was done ~ I bought another warranty, hah.

My ex-husband said never ever ever buy extended warranties, but you know what? He’s not the boss of me anymore, pffft! 😛

I was going to write about last call at a bar, back in Chicago in 1983, when I was in love with Mark (that asshole) and we danced to a Lionel Ritchie song and then he took another girl on a camping trip, but then I remembered that 1983 was a loooooooong time ago and my car is more interesting.

~*~

Image from Shelley Krupa.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 18

Monday Peeve kitty

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

*

I need to give a shout-out to Melanie (Sparks from a combustible mind) for inspiring this peeve. One of her posts reminded me that I had this topic on my mental peeve list, but so many new annoying things happened that I forgot about it. Well, before that happens again, here it is!

There’s this trend that I hate (one of) where a woman of 40+ poses nude or in a skimpy bikini and people fall all over themselves to exclaim how she “doesn’t look her age.” But let me say that I am not opposed to people posing nude if that makes them happy bla bla. That’s not the issue here.

My issue is this constant drumbeat of how if any woman over 40 (or 50, etc.) looks good, then she “doesn’t look her age.” Wtf? Maybe over 40 is an attractive age to be! Perhaps over 50 is as well! Why is ayyyy congrats you don’t look older than dirt a compliment? Eff off! Who the hell decided that only 23 year olds can look good, so if anyone older does, she must be some kind of freak of nature? Oh right. Men decided that! 🙄

Another issue is when you get someone who is clearly surgically altered and/or enhanced, not to mention richer than God, posing very very carefully on her yacht or whatever. This is the one percent of the one percent… not something any normal woman could aspire to, and it isn’t even how the celeb looks anyway. It’s all fake! So, why even comment on how great she looks “for her age” (or any age) or ogle her as if any normal man would even be able to get through security to say hello to her? It’s all so stupid!

Stop fawning over celebrities. It’s gross.

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

321 Quote Me ~ Age Is Just A Number

Welcome back to Rory’s game! This is his new upgraded version where there are no tags and we jump in to play whenever we please. Welp, it pleases me to begin now!

Here are 3 quotes on topic…

Scrolling for birthdate Pole dancing in bathtub Lucille Ball on aging

Next, we have 2 pieces of music…

And finally here’s 1 image for the theme…

Red roses

What does this have to do with aging? It has to do with me being happy with what I have, appreciating a peaceful weekend with my family, minus that low buzz of anxiety and sadness because I hear a voice in my head telling me I should have more (a romantic relationship). It’s taken me a long time to age into this place of goodness and thankfulness.

~*~

Images other than my own roses found on Google.

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Ancient Writer [fiction 450]

She had nothing better to do, so she went with the others to the book signing. The nurse said it would be only a short walk from the bus stop to the bookstore, but it was windy, which exacerbated the chill. By the time they stepped inside, she was too cold and achy to care about a book, even one written by a famous writer.

“Aren’t you buying one?” her friend asked. “Jim Warren will sign it himself!”

She picked up a copy from the stack and stood in line with the others. At least it was pot pie day. That would warm her up. She smiled thinking of the delicious flaky crust and bubbling chicken and veggies tucked inside. Hopefully it would be ready as soon as they returned from this outing.

“You have a beautiful smile.”

She realized she was at the front and it was her turn to pay and have the book signed. The writer was old, much more ancient than he had appeared in the flyer she’d received. His face was a map of lines, and when he smiled they radiated out to the ends of the earth and beyond. His hair was a puff of snow, haloing his head. But his eyes! They glittered like aquamarine jewels, as if an ocean bubbled beneath his skin.

“Thank you,” she said, handing her credit card to the bored-looking cashier.

“To whom shall I dedicate this book?” the ancient writer asked.

“To Daisy.” She felt herself blush for the first time in thirty years as he studied her face and repeated her name. When he handed the book back, their fingertips touched briefly.

On the bus ride home, she opened the jacket to see what he wrote. She turned in her seat so no one else could see.

Dearest Daisy, you have brightened up my morning with your lovely smile. Let’s meet again in these pages and have a wonderful adventure. Yours, James

Daisy skipped lunch and went straight to her room to begin reading the book. Within a few pages, his words swirled her through the mists of her imagination to the beach of his dreams. She was young and beautiful with long golden hair and a body that had no pains. Her pillow was sugary sand; waves of aquamarine flowed over her like a blanket. When a villain materialized from the rocks, a hero galloped out of the clouds on a steed made of fire. He swept her away to the ends of the earth and beyond.

“I hoped I would find you here,” she said.

“Our adventure is just beginning,” he told her. And he kissed her as they headed into the wind.

~*~

Sadje’s What Do You See 3

Image credit to Google via Sadje

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Bonfire-ku

Bonfire

As winter whispers,
I contemplate the missing
And dreams left undone.

Never felt native
To this atmosphere of one…
Fire-starting alone.

Hopes in golden sun
That once seemed fundamental
Are tossed on the pyre.

Moon watches coldly
As flames turn night into day;
The sea is dark glass.

Everything is ash
Hearts duplicated in grey–
For I have come home.

~*~

Written for Thursday Inspiration 21

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.❤️🧁💙

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.