Tag Archives: aging

Many Are Called…

A thousand and twenty-seven thanks to the lovely Blokey Guy for nominating me for a Liebster and for coming up with a set of clever questions. I am going to attempt to answer these while waiting in the jury pool at OC Superior Court. Hopefully my battery will last and I won’t get interrupted to listen to some pesky case.

RULES

Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award. ✅

Answer 8 questions that the blogger gave you. 🆗

Give 8 random thoughts about yourself. ⚠️

Nominate 8 other bloggers and notify them of their nomination. ❌

Ask your nominees 8 questions. 🌀

Questions for Me

1. Are you happy with the person:
i] You are
ii] You were
iii] You think you will become?

I’m okay with who I am now and I’m always trying to do better (by my standards). Going by the past six months, I’m encouraged with my progress, in particular exiting FB and devoting more of my free time to real writing instead of pointless jabber.

***

2. How many colours can you see in the image below, list them in detail.

stones-3565221_960_720.jpg

Zillions! Heliotrope, lavender, amber, shamrock, black, mauve, azure, turquoise, stone, violet, magenta, white, spring green, rust, burnt sienna, etc.

***

3. Is there anything within five feet of where you are currently typing that is a permanent feature and motivates you to explore your mind deeply?

No. I’m in a huge room, full of prospective jurors, and around me are chairs and tables that could easily be moved.

***

4. How many vices do you have and of them which are your worst?

This may sound conceited, but I’ve pretty much eliminated all vices from my life over the past couple years. The worst thing I do is not get enough exercise.

***

5. How curious are you to new discoveries, and first time experiences even if they are possibly dangerous or risky for you to try? As in will you try them, or make an excuse not to?

I avoid risk as much as possible, though I still have to drive a car in SoCal. I don’t need to make excuses to get out of trying dangerous things ~ I just say no.

***

6. If you answered No Way to question 5, what prevents you from doing so?

Migraines, back pain, finances.

***

7. If you answered YES Please to question 6, what motivates you to take those risks?

N/A

***

8. What type of song do you think our banjo player here is playing? Provide a link to what you think it might be as your answer to this question.

musician-349790_960_720

https://youtu.be/w_lCi8U49mY

***

My Random Thots, in which New Questions are Hiding🐍

6. I’m reading Incognito by David Eagleman and it’s fascinating. What book has fascinated you lately?

2. I may have the slightest touch of synesthesia because I perceive numbers physically, sort of as a quilt. What do you perceive differently from “normal?”

4. I used to have eidetic memory, though it was never perfect. It’s faded with age (as it’s supposed to) but occasionally happily surprises me. Do you have any tricks to help you remember things?

7. A bowl of mac & cheese costs $8.50 in the court cafeteria here, which is ridonkulous, so I bought a protein bar instead. But now I haz a craaaaving! What are you craving?

1. I gave up Facebook this year. A complete and total FEXIT (including Instagram & Messenger). What unhealthy habit have you recently dumped, or are working on giving up?

3. At the beginning of the day, a funny guy described how it would be to work on a Grand Jury and now I wanna do that for a year (or more, if allowed) when I retire. What new experience has suddenly grabbed your attention?

8. I’m happy that my daughter and her fiancé are driving down from NorCal in December and the whole little fam will be together for a few days. Do you have any special plans coming up?

5. I think Gatsby is the cutest kitty ever. Do you agree? Yes or duhhh?

Now for the tricky tagging part. Pay very close attention! Since I’m doing my civic duty and waiting in the jury pool here all day long, in honor of that, and our Constitutional Rights, every blogger reading this who has a J in any part of their real name or their bloggy name… is hereby tagged. J for Jury, hurrah!

Advertisements

20 Questions

I saved these from Ashley Leia since my blogging has been a little light the last few days. Yesterday I wrote over 2500 words on my NaNo novel and penned a poem for my new book in progress, so I feel super productive starting the week.

• what’s the most dangerous situation you have ever been in?

– Driving in SoCal.

• what’s your favourite culture?

– Feline.

• what do you dislike about your own culture?

– The thing that’s currently president.

• your favourite type of travel?

– Staycation!

• do you feel understood?

– The lizard 🦎 gets me.

• how do you feel about your body?

– Hurts too much imo.

• what is your favourite film?

– When Harry Met Sally.

• are you adventurous with food?

– No.

• have you ever hated a place and wanted to come home?

– Always.

• are you bothered about others seeing you naked?

– Who? What have you heard?

• Are you a good loser?

– Yes.

• what was the favourite time of your life?

– When my girls were little and my mom was still around and I could do whatever I pleased.

• Do you have a close family connection?

– With my daughters.

• can you speak another language?

– No.

• will Trump be in for another term?

– 🤮🤮🤮

• what are your thoughts on English people?

– You mean like James Bond, Hugh Grant, handsome Dukes with castles who sometimes have to go about disguised as pirates because of some mixup… what was the question?

• was life better without mobile phones?

– Yes, and the internet, microwaves, vaccines, cars, bras, antibiotics, indoor plumbing, wheels, and fire. Fucking fire, caused so many problems.

• what has been the biggest change in your life?

– Being completely alone in my 50s and accepting this new reality.

• is climate change real?

– Duh.

• why do you like answering questions?

– It’s a nice little break from writing. Then I save them to publish in the middle of the night and know I’ll have at least one poast out for tomorrow.

Feel free to C&P and play along!

Where Tags Come To Die

The lovely Jay-lyn nominated me for yet another Sunshine Award and guess how many questions I have to answer? Yup. ELEVEN. 🙄🙄🙄 As per my SOP, I am not tagging anyone, but I encourage everyone who hasn’t done one of these yet to copy Jay’s questions and answer them on your own blog.

Thank you, Jay, for these great questions:

1. Do you believe in true love?

– Well, I’m not sure we all define it the same way, but do I believe that two people can, soon after meeting, discover a mutual and intensely fulfilling physical, emotional, and intellectual connection that builds into a caring and committed bond that lasts a lifetime… sure, why not? I think it has happened to other people.

2. Summer or Winter?

– Summer.

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?

– Idk, I don’t really like to travel and leave my kitty. 🐱

4. Have you ever sat in your car and cried for no reason other than being sad?

– I usually have a reason for being sad. But yes.

5. Science Fiction or Fantasy?

– Not clear on the difference here. SciFi is like Star Trek and fantasy is dragons? Can’t mix those, I suppose, but why not? I liked the original Star Trek and the movies with those characters a lot, but I also liked the one with Chris Pine (no, I don’t want to hear about his penis), but I love love love Game of Thrones. However, that’s kind of a one-off; I didn’t love dragon stuff before and I doubt I will again. So… yeah. Idk.

6. If you could be any fantasy character what type would you be?

– A dragon! Purple obviously.

7. If you discovered the secret to slowing down the aging process would you use it?

– On myself? How would that work? I’d quit aging, so I’d never retire, but my bosses would, and then I’d have to look for a new job? Gahhh. What about my kids ~ they’d age past me and die?! That sounds pretty horrible actually. 😢

8. Walking through the forest you come upon a large tree with a door in it, do you open the door?

– No, that seems like a bad idea. Might be a dragon in there.

9. If you opened the door in the above question what did you find?

– Dragon, hello.

10. If you did not open the door in question 8 why not?

– Probably a drug dealer’s stash. Best not to know or to leave fingerprints. In a novel, the protagonist would of course open the door, which would cause a cascade of unnecessary problems and then of course end in true love. But before that… ughhh drama!

11. Favorite all time Halloween costume.

– Devil with a blue dress on.

NaNoodle

Yes, it’s that time again! Aren’t you glad I spared you my boring agonizing over whether to take the plunge or abstain, yes no maybe…oh I don’t know what to doooo? Well, I had absolutely decided not to, no way, don’t wanna, but then I read over my 15K fail from last year and thought, hey, this is good stuff, I should finish it up. And what better way to finish than to start writing like a maniac on November 1 yet again?

Naturally, I shall be breaking the rules. It’s what I do. First, I’m not starting a new novel like you’re supposed to, nope. I’m continuing along with last year’s 15K. Second, I’m not even going to try to make it to 50K because that’s impossible for me now that I’m an old. I need my sleep. I can’t get up at 4am and write. I need to wind down after work. I need to stretch and exercise cuz my back hurts, waaah. Etc. My goal is 25K. If I even reach that I will be thrilled. How long will my novel ultimately be? I dunno. When it’s done, it’s done.

I am doing something a bit weird, for me. I’m writing an outline. Sorta. Not a real outline. Just some notes about how I want the next several chapters to go. That’s a pretty huge deal. Usually I just start typing and let the angels sing in my ear. Or the demons, as the case may be. But because this novel is pretty structured with present tense/back story and has to flow together in a sensible way, I don’t want to screw it up with some glitch regarding dates/time.

If you want to be my NaNo buddy, you can find me here. I don’t think I’ll be poasting any excerpts from my WIP. I don’t see the point of that. Eventually, if I finish the entire novel to my satisfaction (and I will, unless I die first, which is a possibility of course), I will offer it for sale at a ridonkulously low price on Amazon for Kindle, unless a publishing house snaps it up directly l. That could happen. That, winning the Mega Millions, and meeting my dream man at Trader Joe’s…

Invisible Disability Week

Shout out to Invisibly Me for alerting me to our special week. (Today I’m using this in lieu of the usual prompts.) I note that migraines are at the top of the invisible disabilities list ~ what a great honor, lol. But I don’t want to neglect any of my other issues ~ I also have chronic neck and back pain.

Are those disabilities? Well, they prevent me from walking more than about three miles at a time, so I have to plan events carefully and decline quite a few. I can’t stand in long lines either. And it’s difficult for me to sit for more than a few minutes on benches without backs, like at stadiums. Regardless of how careful I am, I wake up every morning with a bunch of lower back pain that eases a little after a hot shower and some moving around. I realize many people have it so much worse, and I may too eventually. It’s definitely worse than it was ~ five years ago I could walk five miles and only be somewhat sore.

But my main disability is migraine disease, which is invisible and afflicts millions. Luckily for us, the drug companies are always trying to come up with new meds to help our suffering, since there’s so much money on the table. I take Topamax twice a day and Sumatriptan as needed. I also take ibuprofen pretty much daily for my achies. Sometimes I can divert a migraine with extra strength Excedrin instead of the Suma, which is great, since insurance allows only 9 Suma per month. I get a few migraines per week, though they generally are not the agonizing kind some sufferers have. They’re just painful, nauseating, and annoying.

As an aside, these issues layered on top of all my bad experiences with narcissists, liars, nutballs, and stalkers, and added to my own emotional bruises, have formed themselves into a barbed wire stay away cake that lurks in my attic whenever I peek in to see if any of my romantic frocks are ready to be tried on again. Oh well. The thing about cakes is they can’t be unbaked.

I try not to brood and spiral into sadness over these issues, though occasionally I do. Instead, I tell myself I’m lucky and should feel thankful and grateful. This isn’t because I’m comparing myself to others who have it worse and going neener neener, but because objectively speaking I can take stock of the good things in my life and focus on them. If I forget, there’s always a loud meow and a paw smooshed in my eye at 5am to remind me.

A Return to Normalcy

I always say I like the routine of the workweek. I enjoy getting up early with a sense of purpose, knowing I can’t laze around too long because I have to get dressed and go to the office soon. I wouldn’t want to work at home in sweatpants, since I like having a reason to dress nicely and, most importantly, have a collection of shooze in various colors and styles. Not to mention boots! If I worked at home, I’d never wear adorable corduroy skirts with cute sweaters and boots. The horror.

Plus the workweek makes the weekends so much sweeter. You schedule fun plans (or no plans!) and look forward to seeing friends, going to cool events, watching movies, or just blissing out in peace when Saturday morning rolls around.

That said, for over a week last week I hibernated with my daughter up in NorCal and really really enjoyed it. I drove her car to the store twice, and we took short walks around the neighborhood. But other than that, and letting her doggie outside in the back, I stayed in, wore sweats, and pretty much did nothing but read books, blog, color, eat various carbs, snack on candy, etc. I also kept checking the online news too frequently, blech!

Point is, I quickly forgot how much I allegedly love the routine of getting out of the house and going to work in a cute outfit, and I immediately adapted to shlumping around like a retired brown bear. Didn’t realize how adaptable I am. What a nice trait to discover so late in life. (Pats self on back.) (Ow.)

But today I’m back to normal.

Wherein she offends everyone and their little dog too…

I might not poast this. We’ll see. Sometimes I write a dating story (yes, about you) and trash it because nobody needs to see all that whiny dreckage. But lately I’ve been giving less of a fuck, the way I used to in that nice space during 2012 when I wasn’t dating before I began again (big mistake) and worried what potentials might think of my rants. Who cares?!

Anyway. I’m disgusted and disturbed by so many aspects of the Kavanaugh mess. In general, I keep my political opinions on twitter twatter, and even there am pretty low key, but when I “like” someone else’s tweet, it doesn’t fully explain my POV and sometimes I feel like expressing it in my own words.

1. In 1982, I was date-raped by a drunken Irish guy in Chicago. I call it date-rape not to minimize other women’s experiences but because we were literally on a date and I (foolishly) believed him when he said, afterward, that he’d call me for another one. At that point, despite what had just occurred, I still liked him. I decided his aggressive behavior was because of drinking and could be forgiven. I was 20 years old; he was 24. But days passed, he didn’t call, and I found out he had a fiancée. We worked in different areas of a large insurance company and when we next saw each other in the hall, he completely ignored me.

Since time had passed, I didn’t tell anyone about this, not for years anyway. Right then, I was most concerned for my job because this had happened at work. He had asked me for drinks and left his briefcase in my office because it could be locked. I didn’t even have a clue he was plotting something. We walked to a bar, had a few beers (2 for me; 4-5 for him), and returned to the building, where we had to sign in. I was a low level employee and he wasn’t. For weeks, I worried that some manager reviewed those after hours sheets and I would be called into HR to explain why I’d signed in past 8pm on a Friday night. But that never happened.

About a year and a half later, right before I moved to California, I was working at a new company and I saw him in the food court. He stopped and chatted with me like we were old friends. It was so strange! I have to admit though that the date-rape incident itself was not traumatizing. His lying was an issue however, plus the fact that he’d been cheating on his fiancée. This was the beginning of the mountain of lies and broken promises I’ve experienced from men either first or second hand throughout my life.

2. The Kavanaugh circus brought this back to mind. I’m reminded of the fact that most assaults against women are done by men they know, not strangers in alleys. You don’t expect men you know to betray your trust, whether they’re a school friend or a coworker or even some new man you’ve chatted with for a while on a dating site. Why do they have to be such assholes?!? And it’s true we don’t know for sure that Kavanaugh is guilty of assaulting anyone, but he sure acted like an asshole. To clear his good name? Give me a fucking break. I think worse of him now. He acted guilty. Belligerently guilty. Exactly the way our horrible POTUS acts when anyone criticizes him, which is why I tend to believe every accusation against him, except for the super looney tunes ones.

3. I’m sick of the huge number of people in this country who have been brainwashed into believing that only Ivy League law school grads can be federal judges. And Yale and Harvard at that? There are a lot of law schools, peeps! But this myth is self-perpetuating with the judges from those schools choosing interns from the same schools and these are the ones who climb the system. It’s so ironic coming from the “drain the swamp” people, the very same people who sneered at “coastal elites” during Trump’s whole campaign ~ what the holy fuck do they think prep school fratboy Kavanaugh is?!? No, they luv him cuz POTUS said to.

4. Okay fine, everyone’s a hypocrite. I get that. The whole “coastal elite” sneering was just a defense against the uncalled for diss of “flyover country.” It’s all shitty. Huge swaths of our country shouldn’t be labeled and dismissed as somehow unworthy or lesser than. That’s why we’re in the terrible divided place we’re at now. I feel it when people in Los Angeles label everyone in Orange County as a rightwinger. Wrong! There are plenty of Democrats here.

5. Speaking of Democrats, they really need to get their act together. Toughen up! I’m tired of your whining and tantrums. Stop yelling at Republicans in restaurants and focus on getting your goddamn lazy friends to vote blue. That’s the way out of this. Not with stupid hats and signs and boycotts. Quit thinking some “moderate” Republican will save us, for FUCKSAKE. There are no moderate Republicans ~ they are all gonna do what Trump says. How much more proof do you need?

6. Do not blame the confirmation on Susan Collins. Yes, she held out till the last minute, so she ended up with a bunch of attention, but she’s a Republican and voted with her peeps. She didn’t betray anyone. Who did? That fucker Joe Manchin. Don’t let him off the hook and blame a woman! He’s a damn Democrat!

7. The supplemental investigation was a farce and should not have been tolerated unless it was allowed to be open ended. But the Dems should have been much more on top of Kav’s shady financial issues way before this high school stuff even came up. How did he pay for his house? His country club membership? Why did his credit card debt suddenly and mysteriously disappear? The Dems just let this shit slide. I am so very disappointed in them.

8. There should be term limits for all Congress critters imo. Why do we have so many doddering old folks in there? It’s ridonkulous.

9. For the record, since I see a bunch of liberal-haters carrying on about it: yes, I think Bill Clinton is or was a disgusting creep toward women in his personal life and it’s a shame we didn’t believe women back then when they accused men of assault and harassment. (It’s a shame we didn’t believe Anita Hill; I wish Thomas was not on the Court.) And yes, for the record, I believe Keith Ellison’s ex when she says that he assaulted her.

Note how nothing has changed! Our terrible POTUS actually mocks survivors of assault and his awful supporters laugh. Cuz victims are funny! Sexual assault never happens to a female Republican, nope. What isn’t funny to them? The possibility of a wealthy privileged white conservative man being denied a promotion. That’s fucking intolerable!

10. Finally, I will not now or ever publicly name my date-rapist, nor will I contact him privately for some BS “closure.” I don’t need that. I did google him the otter week. He’s a divorced real estate broker in the Chicago area with a current pic available. He has aged well ~ maybe he quit drinking. No danger he’ll be named to the Supreme Court, so I don’t need to save America from his rapeyness. Besides, he’s a Democrat.

Me? Weird??

The what-if prompt is weird things to eat and honestly I don’t think I eat anything weird! But here’s the actual weird thing: other people have often commented on my “weird” eating habits.

1. I’ve gone through many vegetarian phases, which lots of meat eaters find odd. Not sure why it’s strange to prefer a yummy baked potato and veggies over a hunk of rotting flesh, but whatevs. I’m not vegetarian at the moment and have enjoyed a few steak meals this year. Mmm dead cow.

2. With rare exceptions, I don’t like soup unless I’m sick. It’s just so salty and boring. Every bite tastes the same. Spoon after spoon after spoon. Yawnnnn.

3. I used to eat cottage cheese and salsa, and there is literally nothing strange about this when people always have cheese and/or sour cream with salsa in their tacos and burritos. But since no one thinks of cottage cheese as part of a Mexican dish, it’s me being “weird.” Um no. It’s me being innovative, hello. But I don’t eat this now because salsa = heartburn. Aging, bah.

4. I often save dessert for breakfast. Here’s the thing. Dessert is yummy, but it has the calories of an entire meal and I don’t want to eat an entire meal after I’ve eaten a meal. It’s not enjoyable. So, why not take it home and enjoy it the next day when I’m hungry again? Why is this weird? It’s not!

5. As I’ve said, I don’t like grapefruit or oranges. Apparently everyone else does. Goody, more for you!

6. I eat peanut butter on a spoon for a snack. Preferably creamy PB, but I will eat crunchy if that’s all there is. Again, I see nothing weird about this. I have gradually begun to appreciate a drop of honey on my PB ~ better than a c00kie! ~ though this is best done over the sink.

7. I love love love avocados 🥑! Mere words cannot do justice to their deliciousness. I can eat a whole one with salt & pepper sometimes for dinner with nothing else and be perfectly satisfied. I do admit this is probably out of the ordinary.

8. Unlike our gobblement, I’m not conflicted about eggs. I love them and they love me, no changing my mind every damn year. Now that I’m not eating so much bread, I’m making nomlettes more often, usually with cheese unless I forget to buy cheese. Sometimes I’ll make scrambled or poached eggs and veggies. Other times I’ll make hard-boiled eggs to bring to work with salad stuffs.

Obviously there’s nothing weird about liking eggs, but invariably there will be some troll who will say oh well if you are sad about the way cute cuddly animals are treated, what about poor egg-laying chickens? It’s true I wish all animals were treated better, and my heart ❤️ goes out to all the creatures, even the ones I eat, but [excuses]. The great thing about WordPress is the troll blocking feature, I always say. 😀

Happy weekend nomz!

Song Lyric Sunday: Glass

Thanks to Helen for once again giving us a great prompt! Lots of good song choices for “glass” ~ I ultimately went with “Sunrise, Sunset” sung by Herschel Bernardi. There are many versions, including clips from Fiddler on the Roof, but this studio version is articulated so clearly and I just love it. A friend sent it to me last night. The lyrics were originally written in 1964 by Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick. Listening to it can be a very emotional experience, especially for a parent. (Warning.)

Sorry, I can’t find a full set of correct lyrics to C&P. The relevant lines are as follows:

“Now is the little boy a bridegroom,
Now is the little girl a bride;
Under the canopy I see them, side by side.
Place the gold ring upon her finger,
Drink the sweet wine and break the glass –
Soon the full circle will have come to pass.”

Please listen to the whole video. 🙂

Peanut Butter

I stole these 26 questions from Fandango, who snagged them from Barbara, at Teleportingweena. But I have an issue with 26 (yes, including our alphabet, annoying). Twenty-five is a great number, and oddly enough (hehe) so is 27. But 26? Meh! I guess I can think of it as 13×2 and be okay that way. That’s what I’ll do then: renumber the questions halfway through.

1. Share your profile picture.

– Which profile? Here’s one from last year, taken at the happiest place on earth.

2. Who are you named after?

– Paula Abdul.

3. Do you like your handwriting?

– Like Fandango, I used to have great handwriting, but now that I’ve gotten older, it sucks.

4. What’s your favorite lunchmeat?

– Peanut butter.

5. Longest relationship?

– I had a good relationship with my dad from the day I was born until he died in 2013 just before I turned 52.

6. Do you still have your tonsils?

– Nope.

7. Would you bungee jump?

– NFW!

8. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

– Sometimes.

9. Favorite ice-cream?

– Coconut chocolate chip.

10. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

– That they’re too close to me.

11. Football or baseball?

– Neither.

12. What color pants are you wearing?

– White lounge pants with grey and pink flowers.

13. Last thing you ate?

– Peanut butter on a banana.

1. If you were a crayon what color would you be?

– Ultraviolet, baby.

2. Favorite smell?

– Cinnanommmm.

3. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

– One of the partners at work.

4. Hair color?

– Light brown plus some silver.

5. Eye color?

– Hazel (this feels like filling out a dating profile now).

6. Favorite food to eat?

– Seafood pasta.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

– Romantic comedies with happy endings.

8. Last movie you watched?

– I rewatched American Gigolo a few days back because it came up on Prime. Saw it over 30 years ago and liked it a lot. Didn’t like it that much this time. I didn’t sense any chemistry between the leads; it was just trashy and sad.

9. Favorite holiday?

– Loved Fandango’s answer, but I’ll go with New Year’s Day.

10. Beer or wine?

– Neither. Alcohol triggers migraines.

11. Favorite day of the week?

– Sunday.

12. Three or (four) favorite bloggers you want to learn more about?

– Anyone who plays along.

13. Added info you didn’t know you wanted.

Buy my books!