Tag Archives: aging

The Mysterious New Math

A bouquet 💐 of thanks to Rory for giving me a Liebster award! I don’t keep track of these things, so idk if this is my first Lieb, or what.

Can we talk about the directions for a minute? (I’m adding periods because these are sentences.)

“Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award.”

Okay, that’s clear enough.

“Answer 11 questions that the blogger gave you.”

We’ll come back to this one.

“Give 8 random thoughts about yourself.”

Kaaay.

“Nominate 8 other bloggers and notify them of their nomination.”

Meh. But even if…

“Ask your nominees 8 questions.”

Now, hang on. Does anyone else see the problem here? How the heck are you supposed to answer the eleven questions the blogger gives you when here it tells you to give the next pile of peeps eight questions? Is this the new-new math? No wonder peeps can’t make change without computers.

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My 8 Questions

If vampires can’t see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?

– Obviously they have a stylist on payroll. I heard it’s the same one Mooch uses.

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

– I’d take that with a grain assault.

If they weren’t called grapes and you had the opportunity to rename them, what would you call them?

– Blumps

If the grass wasn’t green what colour would you make it?

– Purple

Has your imaginary friend ever had an imaginary friend, or just you?

– She cheated on me way back, just like in the movie Her, which is why I have a cat meow.

So, dance in the rain, wallow in the mud or naked angel in the snow?

– It’s a marvelous night for a raindance…

Can you describe your blog to me without using the letters i and e?

– A crazy salad

What are you afraid of becoming?

– Homeless

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Okay. Here are 8 random thoughts about me, which will also segue into 8 questions, should anyone care to answer them here or elsewhere. If you’d like to grab the award to display and answer the questions on your own blog, consider yourself tagged. Again, 8 =/= 11, in my world.

1. I love math, though I’ve forgotten a lot. I think it would be fun to take it all again, starting from geometry (my favorite). Is there any subject from school you wish you could remember more of?

2. I would love to be able to afford to quit working and get a masters degree, or just take poetry and other classes for fun. What would you do if you didn’t have to work?

3. Travel is not high on my list of priorities. This makes me an outlier, since most people are always going on and on about traveling. It’s just so expensive and disruptive to my routines. Plus, I don’t like to leave my kitty. 🐱 What makes you an outlier?

4. I’m very aware of time slipping away now, and each day that passes is one less I will have to spend with family, finish my writing projects, read the books in my queue, etc. This is why I’ve pretty much stopped watching TV and going to movies. What unfinished projects are on your list?

5. I live in an area I can’t really afford, and if for whatever reason I am forced to move from the affordable place I have now, I don’t know what I will do. I think about this all the time and there is no good solution. What is your top fear at the moment?

6. I get super annoyed when restaurants don’t have hot tea, or even offer to nuke a cup of hot water for me in their microwave (then I can use my own tea bag, which I always have a supply of). Is this so unreasonably difficult? Not talking about fast food, but normal restaurants. What makes you crazy irritated at a restaurant?

7. I’m trying to be healthier this year, which for me means exercise, but it’s really hard to get motivated to exercise when I’m constantly cold and achy, even if I know logically that (eventually) the exercise will help me feel less cold and achy. Do you have any circular issues of this nature?

8. Once you’ve broken a bad habit, it’s easier to break others ~ this is true for me! I gave up afternoon candy breaks. Then dating sites. Then Facebook. Somewhere in there I gave up arguing with people online (long, long time ago I gave up trolling for reactions). More recently I’ve begun simply blocking people on any forum when they annoy me, rather than reading their posts and gloating to myself about what an ass they are. That’s just more wasted time, as is reading the jerks who comment on Fox News’ articles. Time is too precious and it’s running out. Describe your thoughts on time and/or bad habits.

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One-Liner Wednesday

This has always been my philosophy, even though I’ve pushed it aside at times when trying to navigate relationships, especially romances. But since I’ve given those up, I feel much freer to live my life on my own terms. I may appear to be “normal” and blend in with the crowd wherever I go, but the older I get the more of an oddball I am. For example, I just had four solid days off from my office job and spent quite a bit of that time at home (my preference), but I did not once turn on my TV.

“It’s not you, it’s me.” <– That’s what I say to the offerings on Prime and Netflix, plus to my own library of unwatched DVDs. Lots of good stuff in there, but I’d rather read and write. As I said, I’m an oddball. But I can’t make progress as a writer if I zone out in front of the TV like the rest of the world. And writing is simply a higher priority to me than watching another show, however enjoyable it may be.

Most nights, I don’t eat dinner. Omg! Yes, I know: I’m a freak. But I like to stay slim (and given my family history, I believe it’s important), and I have a slow metabolism from being older and not exercising much. I like to eat breakfast and lunch (not huge meals for either), and have only a small snack at night, such as a banana, with a cup of tea. Obviously I make exceptions for getting together with peeps for dinner (I skip lunch those days), but usually this is what I do. I find this way of eating to be extremely helpful in keeping me more alert during the day and getting better sleep at night too.

I’ve been so much more productive since finally flinging off the shackles of what I should do to “be normal” vs what works for me in terms of progress. You can see how none of this would be conducive to a dating type of relationship where a guy would want a real dinner every night and then need to snuggle with me in front of the tube. Been there, done that. Thank u, next!

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

Monday Meandering

It was bothering me that my full-size bitmojis appeared on my iPhone reader as humongous pictures dropping off the sides of the screen. Other bloggers’ pics do the same, btw ~ not photographs, which seem to know how to behave themselves, but graphics grabbed from the web, which do not. Anyway, I’ve been resizing mine to medium in the app but haven’t noticed a satisfactory difference, so that’s why I went down to thumbnail on this one. It just bugs me when pics are off. Now the thumbnail will look weird when I view my blog on the web… sigh. 😜

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I finally figured out why my YouTube vids weren’t previewing properly ~ when I take the link from the YouTube app, it’s a shortlink. I then have to paste it in a browser to get a real link that creates a preview. What a royal pain in the ass. Is there any more annoying problem in the world today, I ask you? Oh, for the halcyon daze of olde when we didn’t have the convenience of apps to bitch about and had to trudge 5 miles in the cybersnow every time we wanted to copypasta any damn thing. 🙄

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I was just about to stop at Target after work on Friday night to buy a space heater when I remembered I had one. And it wasn’t hidden away in a closet ~ it’s right next to the TV cabinet. This is what happens when the unused spaces in your brain get old and frozen. 🥶

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My MO in Blogland is not to keep score cuz that’s just annoying and frustrating. I follow around 700 blogs and only 500 or so follow me. But who is MO anyway and why am I letting him set precedent? This I began to wonder today as I unfollowed a few bloggers in my feed who never like any of my poasts. Pffft.

To each their own, but if all a blogger does it repost old stuff, and not interact with me, I’m going to be faster with the unfollow click. I mean, I go to the trouble of writing fresh new boring crap for you guys every single day! I don’t want my feed filled with a parade of moldy recyclables. If I see I’ve already hearted it… grrrr!

Seriously one guy reposts his half-dozen sensual love letters to his “goddess” every night and I’m just BARF ALREADY! Write something new to her, dude. Geez. 🤮

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I just looked up the definition of cartoon cuz I wasn’t sure what counted. Obviously the shows we used to watch on Saturday morning, but comic strips too? Yup. And movies like Frozen? Yup. And those quickie caricatures? Yup. Also, the word comes from Italian, carta (paper), if anyone cares. First known usage was in 1671, as in a preparatory design. You’re welcome. 😜

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I’m on the Nextdoor app to keep track of local doings. I was motivated to download it when the OCRegister went to a pay site. I miss the OCR, gotta admit, but I’m not gonna pay. I have no paid subscriptions to anything. Nextdoor is sometimes helpful/interesting, but Twitter is actually more on top of breaking emergencies. Of course there are trolls and idiots and assholes on ND because it is social media. People won’t follow rules and simply must jabber on about “the wall” and whatever other stupid BS pops into their heads. 🤬

Naturally there are the sea lion men, barking questions at women, only to tell them that their opinions are invalid. I ran into one of these jerks this weekend who told me I can’t have an opinion on my city after “only” living here 5 years when he’s been here 25. I muted him. It’s too bad they are only mutes and not blocks like Twitter. I would prefer it if he was not able to see and/or reply to me again. Same goes for anyone I mute in the future.

This is one of the things that makes it hard for women to express themselves online (not to mention in meatspace obviously). You have to constantly worry about angering some wacko man, especially if he’s local. Who even knows what might set some lunatic off into a rage? Idk if this guy is totally fine or a nutball, but I got a bad vibe, and so I let him have the last word because I see from other threads that it’s important to him. And I didn’t insult him like another woman did; I just quietly faded away. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m scared of men who seem trollish and unhinged. We read stories all the time about women being stalked and attacked by nutjobs. And crazy men are everywhere. We’re never safe. 😢

No, I’m not being overly dramatic. Just go look up the statistics about violence against women. This is another reason why I quit using dating sites. Besides all the benignly obnoxious jerks and liars and creeps, there are rapists and con men and murderers lurking there. It’s documented. And when some rando gets angry because you reject him after chatting, how do you know which group he falls into?

Not worth the stress.

Fandango No. 5 [FPQ]

It’s like Chanel No. 5, only a lot cheaper and won’t trigger a migraine.

So here’s this week’s provocative question (actually three questions):

“Is there a ‘blogging-you’ who is different from the real-world you? If so, how are the two ‘yous’ different? How has the ‘blogging-you’ evolved since you first started blogging?”

Yes. I am different here, but not just in Blogville.

There is an online-me who is somewhat different from meatspace-me. In the real world, I’m a small, older woman and I’ve been alone for many years. I have no one to back me up, physically, financially, emotionally, etc. So, I’m very careful. Extremely cautious. I am known as kind, sweet, helpful, by most. In fact, when people have met me in person after knowing me online for a while, they said I’m a lot nicer than they thought I’d be.

Online, I feel freer to state my opinions, to make jokes about whatever thing. To diss our horrible POTUS whenever I please, no matter who is around. I dgaf about people’s delicate feelings, nor do mine get hurt easily here. It’s words on a screen. Move on if you don’t like what you read. I do. I block racists on Twitter; I don’t cry over them. I also feel free to say no, to not do things I don’t want to, to simply fucking ignore irritating people, to ghost them, to delete, to mock, to parody… and there were years I used to troll the trolls. I’ve quit that though.

In meatspace, I don’t do most of that ever. I only make jokes when I am comfy with my audience. I did do a few rounds of stand-up comedy at a venue I felt okay about ~ it was tame comedy, relatively speaking. I usually don’t ignore people. I say thank you and no thank you and sorry, even to bums asking for money. If the gross guy dumpster diving at my apartment complex says good morning, I say it back. I try not to make enemies. I try very hard not to make anyone angry or displeased. When I fail, which is rare but it happens, I feel bad. Online, I don’t care.

Sometimes it turns out that characters on the screen and real people occupy the same space in the Venn diagram intersection, which can be tricky for me to deal with. It’s hard to go back and forth, and I haven’t fully mastered that task, since I am also a character of my own creation, continually evolving, except exactly the same person since I was 14 years old. Paradox. I think only one of my readers will possibly be able to grok this paragraph. No, not you. 🙄

That’s two questions answered. As far as the third, I have become much more discreet since I began my first blog. I say waaay fewer personal things now, hard as that may be to believe. But those who were reading Ultrablog know. Plus even this blog had much more daily life type stuff for a while. It’s not that I’m paranoid now, but more that my life has become such a bore there’s simply nothing to say.

I’m not complaining. You can have the “interesting life” fortune c00kie. After the drama I’ve had, I prefer boringness.

Questions from the Queen [2]

Aka Teresa 👑

1. If you had a million dollars what would you do with it?

– Finance condos for my kids and me.

2. What is your favorite day of the week?

– Sunday.

3. You find a plainly wrapped box by your door with no address or markings on it – what do you do with it?

– Skootch it over to the hall so it becomes someone else’s problem. I’m a giver.

4. If you could make someone do one thing – who would it be and what would you have them do?

– I would have whatshisface murder you know who on live TV so they’d both be gone.

5. It’s raining outside – what are you doing inside?

– Having a rain migraine.

6. Puzzles, crossword puzzles, or word search?

– Yes please!

7. Would your teenage self recognize your adult self?

– Sure, I’m exactly the same, minus the insane hormonal impulses. People don’t change.

8. You have one a celebrity chef for the day – who is it and what do they cook for you?

– Idk, someone who can make real NY pizza and cannolis.

9. Have you ever been banned or kicked out of a store?

– Lol no.

10. What is your favorite dessert?

– Cannolis.

11. What is the worst movie ever made (provide a link)?

– Tusk. Google it. 😝

Open/Shut Case [bit ranty]

New prompt from Mindlovemisery. Open or shut…

“What are you open to and what are you shut to?

Some people are open to most things and some are very closed, or shut to anything that challenges their every day.”

This is a good question. I’m loving these thinky prompts, as opposed to the favorite color type ones.

I like to be challenged intellectually. I’m open to new ideas about philosophy, psychology, nutrition, aging, writing, etc. I love new games and quizzes. Enjoy discovering new aspects of my cranky old personality. Now, having said this, I’m not some naive lulu who’s going to soak up the next conspiracy theory that comes along, so don’t bother. 🙄

What I’m not open to. Everything else. No really. I’m old and tired and I’m achy and migrainey. I know what I like and don’t like. I don’t need someone to tell me to try the thing that makes them happy, whatever it is. This is what annoys me so much about people. My cat, in contrast, doesn’t say hey come to the window and watch this ant. He doesn’t give a shit if I see the ant; he’s thrilled out of his mind to have the ant all to himself. 🐱🐜

But people? Omgawd. They have to share things. Taste my pasta! Listen to this song! Watch this vid! Read this book! Worship my gods! Vote for my liars!! Suck my d***! Sorry. Got carried away there. But you get the point. People simply must evangelize at you. Look at that poor guy who was just killed trying to introduce Jesus to some Indians. “No, you go meet him first!” (Stole the joke. I will do that, fair warning.)

To sum up, at this stage in my life: open mind, closed heart.

Dare to Share [SYW]

Sparks has some new Share Your World questions for us…

1. If your five year old self woke up in your current body, what would happen, what would you say?

– What’s this kitty 🐱 doing here? I thought we loved puppies! Where’s the snow? Why is the ocean on that side?

2. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Whether you are talking about a romantic one, a friendship, or a related to sort of relationship?

– I don’t have dealbreakers for my children; I will stand by them no matter what. I’m not in touch with other relatives. As far as friends, dealbreakers include racism, disloyalty, criminality, etc. For a romantic partner, the friend reqs would apply as well as a lot more. Romance dealbreakers include: smoking, lying, non-monogamy, disliking cats, allergic to cats, narcissism, selfishness, insanity, lack of mutual attraction, and just being an all-around stupid fucking idiot without regard for other people and animals. And BMW drivers, gahhh!

3. Is there something out there, a thought, an idea, a current event, or a fear that you find deeply unsettling?

– Rightwingism that wants to turn this country into some kind of whites-only women-as-incubators blond Jesusland.

4. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done?

– Killed a man. But he had it comin’!

5. What were you grateful for this week?  Something that brought some joy into your world?

– My wonderful daughters, as always. ❤️❤️

Many Are Called…

A thousand and twenty-seven thanks to the lovely Blokey Guy for nominating me for a Liebster and for coming up with a set of clever questions. I am going to attempt to answer these while waiting in the jury pool at OC Superior Court. Hopefully my battery will last and I won’t get interrupted to listen to some pesky case.

RULES

Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award. ✅

Answer 8 questions that the blogger gave you. 🆗

Give 8 random thoughts about yourself. ⚠️

Nominate 8 other bloggers and notify them of their nomination. ❌

Ask your nominees 8 questions. 🌀

Questions for Me

1. Are you happy with the person:
i] You are
ii] You were
iii] You think you will become?

I’m okay with who I am now and I’m always trying to do better (by my standards). Going by the past six months, I’m encouraged with my progress, in particular exiting FB and devoting more of my free time to real writing instead of pointless jabber.

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2. How many colours can you see in the image below, list them in detail.

stones-3565221_960_720.jpg

Zillions! Heliotrope, lavender, amber, shamrock, black, mauve, azure, turquoise, stone, violet, magenta, white, spring green, rust, burnt sienna, etc.

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3. Is there anything within five feet of where you are currently typing that is a permanent feature and motivates you to explore your mind deeply?

No. I’m in a huge room, full of prospective jurors, and around me are chairs and tables that could easily be moved.

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4. How many vices do you have and of them which are your worst?

This may sound conceited, but I’ve pretty much eliminated all vices from my life over the past couple years. The worst thing I do is not get enough exercise.

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5. How curious are you to new discoveries, and first time experiences even if they are possibly dangerous or risky for you to try? As in will you try them, or make an excuse not to?

I avoid risk as much as possible, though I still have to drive a car in SoCal. I don’t need to make excuses to get out of trying dangerous things ~ I just say no.

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6. If you answered No Way to question 5, what prevents you from doing so?

Migraines, back pain, finances.

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7. If you answered YES Please to question 6, what motivates you to take those risks?

N/A

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8. What type of song do you think our banjo player here is playing? Provide a link to what you think it might be as your answer to this question.

musician-349790_960_720

https://youtu.be/w_lCi8U49mY

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My Random Thots, in which New Questions are Hiding🐍

6. I’m reading Incognito by David Eagleman and it’s fascinating. What book has fascinated you lately?

2. I may have the slightest touch of synesthesia because I perceive numbers physically, sort of as a quilt. What do you perceive differently from “normal?”

4. I used to have eidetic memory, though it was never perfect. It’s faded with age (as it’s supposed to) but occasionally happily surprises me. Do you have any tricks to help you remember things?

7. A bowl of mac & cheese costs $8.50 in the court cafeteria here, which is ridonkulous, so I bought a protein bar instead. But now I haz a craaaaving! What are you craving?

1. I gave up Facebook this year. A complete and total FEXIT (including Instagram & Messenger). What unhealthy habit have you recently dumped, or are working on giving up?

3. At the beginning of the day, a funny guy described how it would be to work on a Grand Jury and now I wanna do that for a year (or more, if allowed) when I retire. What new experience has suddenly grabbed your attention?

8. I’m happy that my daughter and her fiancé are driving down from NorCal in December and the whole little fam will be together for a few days. Do you have any special plans coming up?

5. I think Gatsby is the cutest kitty ever. Do you agree? Yes or duhhh?

Now for the tricky tagging part. Pay very close attention! Since I’m doing my civic duty and waiting in the jury pool here all day long, in honor of that, and our Constitutional Rights, every blogger reading this who has a J in any part of their real name or their bloggy name… is hereby tagged. J for Jury, hurrah!

20 Questions

I saved these from Ashley Leia since my blogging has been a little light the last few days. Yesterday I wrote over 2500 words on my NaNo novel and penned a poem for my new book in progress, so I feel super productive starting the week.

• what’s the most dangerous situation you have ever been in?

– Driving in SoCal.

• what’s your favourite culture?

– Feline.

• what do you dislike about your own culture?

– The thing that’s currently president.

• your favourite type of travel?

– Staycation!

• do you feel understood?

– The lizard 🦎 gets me.

• how do you feel about your body?

– Hurts too much imo.

• what is your favourite film?

– When Harry Met Sally.

• are you adventurous with food?

– No.

• have you ever hated a place and wanted to come home?

– Always.

• are you bothered about others seeing you naked?

– Who? What have you heard?

• Are you a good loser?

– Yes.

• what was the favourite time of your life?

– When my girls were little and my mom was still around and I could do whatever I pleased.

• Do you have a close family connection?

– With my daughters.

• can you speak another language?

– No.

• will Trump be in for another term?

– 🤮🤮🤮

• what are your thoughts on English people?

– You mean like James Bond, Hugh Grant, handsome Dukes with castles who sometimes have to go about disguised as pirates because of some mixup… what was the question?

• was life better without mobile phones?

– Yes, and the internet, microwaves, vaccines, cars, bras, antibiotics, indoor plumbing, wheels, and fire. Fucking fire, caused so many problems.

• what has been the biggest change in your life?

– Being completely alone in my 50s and accepting this new reality.

• is climate change real?

– Duh.

• why do you like answering questions?

– It’s a nice little break from writing. Then I save them to publish in the middle of the night and know I’ll have at least one poast out for tomorrow.

Feel free to C&P and play along!

Where Tags Come To Die

The lovely Jay-lyn nominated me for yet another Sunshine Award and guess how many questions I have to answer? Yup. ELEVEN. 🙄🙄🙄 As per my SOP, I am not tagging anyone, but I encourage everyone who hasn’t done one of these yet to copy Jay’s questions and answer them on your own blog.

Thank you, Jay, for these great questions:

1. Do you believe in true love?

– Well, I’m not sure we all define it the same way, but do I believe that two people can, soon after meeting, discover a mutual and intensely fulfilling physical, emotional, and intellectual connection that builds into a caring and committed bond that lasts a lifetime… sure, why not? I think it has happened to other people.

2. Summer or Winter?

– Summer.

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?

– Idk, I don’t really like to travel and leave my kitty. 🐱

4. Have you ever sat in your car and cried for no reason other than being sad?

– I usually have a reason for being sad. But yes.

5. Science Fiction or Fantasy?

– Not clear on the difference here. SciFi is like Star Trek and fantasy is dragons? Can’t mix those, I suppose, but why not? I liked the original Star Trek and the movies with those characters a lot, but I also liked the one with Chris Pine (no, I don’t want to hear about his penis), but I love love love Game of Thrones. However, that’s kind of a one-off; I didn’t love dragon stuff before and I doubt I will again. So… yeah. Idk.

6. If you could be any fantasy character what type would you be?

– A dragon! Purple obviously.

7. If you discovered the secret to slowing down the aging process would you use it?

– On myself? How would that work? I’d quit aging, so I’d never retire, but my bosses would, and then I’d have to look for a new job? Gahhh. What about my kids ~ they’d age past me and die?! That sounds pretty horrible actually. 😢

8. Walking through the forest you come upon a large tree with a door in it, do you open the door?

– No, that seems like a bad idea. Might be a dragon in there.

9. If you opened the door in the above question what did you find?

– Dragon, hello.

10. If you did not open the door in question 8 why not?

– Probably a drug dealer’s stash. Best not to know or to leave fingerprints. In a novel, the protagonist would of course open the door, which would cause a cascade of unnecessary problems and then of course end in true love. But before that… ughhh drama!

11. Favorite all time Halloween costume.

– Devil with a blue dress on.