Tag Archives: aging

First Four of the Year

Friday four

Rory has a new set of Friday Four questions for us…

1. Do you ever simply stop and wonder ‘Where has time gone to?’ or is it something that never bothers you?

I definitely think about this and it bothers me frequently. I’m sad I haven’t been a big writing success and probably won’t be. I feel bad I failed at romantic relationships. I wish I’d spent more time with my mom; I wish I had more time now with my daughters and grandchildren. The next 20 years will pass in a flash, assuming I even get 20 more…

2. If you had a warning label, what would yours read?

“May spontaneously combust.”

Bitmoji rage fire

3. What fact amazes you every time you think of it?

That anything exists.

4. What kind of activities do you enjoy doing and what would you never do?

I like boring old lady activities: reading, writing, gentle walking, playing with cats and grandchildren, baking, painting, going to museums and libraries, drinking tea…

Things I would never do include all sports (playing or watching), exotic travel, fishing, hunting, camping, long hikes, and anything dangerous or adrenaline-rushy.

Bitmoji reading


©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Cookie 🍪 Share

Octopus  world

Melanie has some new Q’s for us this week, so let’s get cracking!

1. What is your favorite type of cookie (they’re called biscuits in Europe I believe)?

Omgosh cookies! Where do I begin? Okay, so I love the regular Tollhouse chocolate chip recipe on the back of their chip bag, but also my friend Cathy makes killer chocolate chip cookies with almond flour. Then there are PB chocolate chip cookies, so good (try Trader Joe’s!). And I am a big fan of regular peanut butter cookies too. Love buttery spritz holiday cookies. But you know what? Pepperidge Farm used to have a Vienna cookie in its “city line,” which was a coffee-flavored cookie sandwich with mocha filling… utterly divine. BUT NATURALLY THEY DISCONTINUED IT. 😡😡😡

(See my Monday Peeve on this topic.)

2. If you could choose one age and remain that forever, what would it be and why?

Well, I kinda liked being 33, with my two darling daughters, my mom around to help, and a tolerable marriage. But there was a short period of time in the fall of 2016 (I was 55) when I thought I’d found the love of my life… 💔

3. Do you have a traditional drink during the holiday season?

No, but I like Trader Joe’s spiced cider.

4. Are you able to still believe in holiday magic as you did when you were a child?

This is a have you stopped beating your wife type of question, so let’s unpack it. I did not believe in “holiday magic” when I was a child, or in any kind of magic ever. This gets people upset, but idk why. I seemed able to enjoy things just fine without thinking there was anything supernatural going on. But in fact, I liked holidays better after I became a mom when I could share them with my kids.

Christmas lights
Lights enjoyed by Diane, Sam, and me in 2018

5. Gratitude section

I’m grateful for all the hard work people put in to get covid vaccines ready for us. Thank you! 💖


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Bloggerz 5

Bitmoji Christmas

Rory’s done it again, peeps ~ given us 12 wacky questions, that is! Please note that my title reflects only how many “12 Bloggerz” I have participated in, not how many exist. 😜

1. When not specifically following ‘set’ directions everyone has a favourited direction they prefer to walk in – which is yours left or right and why do you think you always want to go that direction first?

Right. Because I’m right. Also, I’m right-handed. In Australia, I’d likely go left… and probably be bitten by some nasty venomous creature. 🐍

2. What’s the creepiest thing that has ever happened to you – irrelevant to your personal beliefs – just something that creeped you out – and yet you simply couldn’t explain it?

All this grey hair and cellulite lately… what is happening omg?!


3. Who are your top five actors/actresses and what is special about them to you?

Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep, Al Pacino, Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock. They’re great, that’s why.

4. Which prompts do you participate in weekly with your blog – please list?

I host the Monday Peeve and Thursday Inspo. I almost always participate in Jim Adams’ Song Lyric Sunday, Melanie’s Share Your World, Fandango’s Provocative Question, and Linda’s SOC Saturday. Other prompts I do as time and mood permit.

5. Have you taken the 16 Personalities Test and if so – what Personality Type are you and how accurate is it to you?
Free Personality Test

I just took it, not realizing it was a Meyers-Brigg thing. Again, I confirmed I’m an INFJ. Supposedly, this is the rarest type ~ the Advocate. Some of the description fits me and some doesn’t. I am introverted and passionate and picky, but I have no interest in any of the “helping” careers. They have way too much contact with people.

INFJ Advocate

6. Are you easily embarrassed – when was the last time for you?

Yes. Too embarrassed to say…

7. Has anything shocked you in the last 6 weeks to the point where you have gasped out aloud – if so what was it and if not, then when was the last time you were terribly shocked by something?

Yes, last week at my daughter’s. We thought we saw a giant bug on her wall, but it was just two spiders tangled up. 🕷🕷

8. If you have one what is your signature dish and if you don’t have one what would you love to be able to cook wonderfully well?

I like to make layered bean dip for parties.

Layered bean dip

9. Strangest or wildest place you ever had the most amazing sex in or on maybe, even around …….?

My imagination…

10. Why is it healthy to flirt with people you have no intention of doing the naughty with and how often do you flirt with people you know or even don’t know?

Because flirting can be creative and fun. I don’t do much of it these days though.

11. Can you list 9 things that you can ride in, on or with?

Car, train, bus, trolley, scooter, surfboard, horse, camel, elephant. 🐘

12. Are you on Santa’s Naughty or Good list and if you are – what have you asked for from either?

Good List. I would like socks, thank you!

Christmas bear


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

M is for Memory [socs]


Memory is such a strange thing sometimes. My father, in his dementia, remembered incidents from the far past, whether accurately or not, I don’t know. He recalled people who had died and thought they were still alive; he tried to visit them and got lost. I had to take his car away, which was sad. But then he began trying to walk to their homes (that didn’t exist) and I had to place him into a safer living situation. When I was driving him to the new house, he asked me if we were in Canada.

I remember certain events, conversations, feelings from ages ago too, and I don’t know if my recollections are true. That bothers me. Sometimes I can confirm them with my girls or others, but most of the time there is no one who can verify or dispute my memories. I have no siblings or cousins or even friends who go back far enough. What if a whole event didn’t even happen and I’ve based other decisions or feelings on it? All these stories…

Then there’s this crazy lockdown year. I’ve experienced the time fog that many have described, where the days pass slowly, in mostly the same limbo of nothingness, and it feels like last March was years ago. It’s hard to recall what I did last week, last summer, last spring. Things seem near and far both, just out of reach. When did I read or watch something? What did I say on the phone to so and so? All the mental landmarks we use to help us remember have been wiped away. Emotional touchstones have disappeared for me now. I can’t say oh I know this happened on such and such a day because I was at game night or we were having dinner at a particular restaurant. Nope. None of that. All gone.

I wonder when my memory will go back to “normal,” or if such a thing is even possible anymore.


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Kintsugi [socs]


Generally I’m a pretty good speller, so it’s not often I look up a word, plus most devices have spellcheck and I haven’t been writing love letters by hand recently. But yesterday I did check the spelling of “kintsugi” for a poem. It’s been a while since I’ve used it, and the last time I did, I may have used the alt spelling “kintsukuroi.”

A friend, also named Linda, invited me to submit a piece of writing for her project, which is what motivated my latest kintsugi poetry. I may post it here too. We shall see. I’ve been posting quite a lot lately and not finishing my novel, which I really want to do. It’s easier to read WP though and come up with some new bloggery than focus on the ending to my story.

As a philosophy, kintsugi is quite appealing to me. Embrace the broken and turn flaws into strengths! The older I get, the more I appreciate the wisdom and kindness behind this idea. We’re so used to throwing things (and people) away when they exhibit or develop imperfections that it takes some effort to help mend a break and treasure something or someone despite their flaws. The next level is to be able to view flaws as attributes… broken pieces repaired with gold.

I’m not talking about politicians who should be thrown out of office in disgrace instead of embraced for their deliberately obnoxious behavior. Vote Blue! 🧢🦋🐬🌎💦


Written for Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Scary Share


Melanie has some new questions for us this week…

When was the last time you tried something new? How did that go for you? -Generally, I avoid new things like the pl… you know. But recently I have tried kefir in a couple flavors and it’s delicious! 🤩

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say? -“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” (Maya Angelou) 👍🏻

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? -80… I’m cranky, achy, set in my ways, and want to eat dinner early! 🤣

Lastly, I’ll be doing one “Halloween” themed question per week during October.  Those who don’t observe the holiday are welcome to answer or to ignore it as they wish.

Fun  CREEPY Halloween Question:

Have you ever seen a ‘fresh’ corpse (aka dead body)? -Yes, my mother. 😢💔

GRATITUDE SECTION (always optional)

Do you enjoy any seasonal traditions around this time of year? -The girls and I have a “tradition” of eating pumpkin pancakes 🥞 in the fall, which is nice. Not sure I will this year if I have to make them myself. Being efficient, I already ate a bag of Brach’s pumpkin candy, which I usually do in October. Still need some Reese’s PB pumpkins though. I guess this is all about sugary food for me! 🎃😋

Rainbow pumpkins


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ86: Dream A Little Dream

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks…

What has been the strangest, weirdest dream that you can remember? What do you think triggered that dream?

When I was very young, I dreamt about getting attacked by a wolf, which I think was triggered by having a sore throat in the night. I mentioned this dream in a SYW post recently:

I was little, around 10 or under, and dreamt I got lost at the zoo. I ended up behind the exhibits and there was a wolf loose. He jumped on me and ripped my throat open. In the dream, I died, though I understand that isn’t supposed to happen in dreams. I woke up with strep throat.

This 2011 baby dream could symbolize creativity. Maybe I was writing a lot then, or thinking about new ideas for novels.

Fantasy reading romance novel book

Here’s a scaryweird dream I had in 2011 about a pink and yellow lizard. This one could have been triggered by alcohol, or dating, neither of which agree with me.

When I was married, I had lots of dreams about drowning. Here’s one I had a few years later in 2013. Two others that stand out in my memory are as follows. Once when I was in a strange huge house with my whole family (including the ex’s), plus people from school, no one would listen to me that there was water coming up to the windows. Finally, we all had to go onto the roof. Another time I was in a carnival type ride with both my daughters and we ended up on the Coast Highway where everything was flooded. Supposedly these drowning dreams arise from feeling overwhelmed or suffocated by something. Or someone…

I had this dream about my mom in 2013. I think about Mom a lot and miss her so much. I’ve had plenty of other dreams with her in them, but they weren’t weird enough to remember. 💔

If love could have saved you

In 2016, I had a few dreams about driving (one with scary dogs). I’ve had many more dreams about driving, often where I’m not in the seat the right way and can’t reach the brake pedal. Driving scares me, so it makes sense I dream about it. One benefit of this bizarre year is that I’m in the car a lot less.

Lately, I don’t dream much (or my memory is immediately wiped). Maybe it’s because I don’t usually sleep that soundly, idk. I used to be such a great sleeper! Oh well… aging, whaddayagonna do?

It was fun to do the “research” for this post. Thanks, Fandango! 🙂 Sorry I couldn’t pick just one.

Bitmoji shrug


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Fandango, Bitmoji, etc.

Shared Labor

Share Your World

Happy Labor Day! To honor our workers, including me, I will answer Melanie’s SYW questions, as I do almost every Monday. Once again, there are two sets… one from Roger for HP fans and one from Melanie except she copied them from others. 🙃

Roger’s Magical, Mystical Questions:

1. What happened to cause you to discover ‘bullies” were real?

Starting school. Kids are monsters. 👹

2. Eavesdropping. When given the chance, how often do you eavesdrop? (this may be a similar question to what some folks said they’d do with an invisibility cloak)

It depends. Mostly I hate all noise, which includes other people’s jabber. But if I get the feeling something interesting is going on, I might listen to use it in a story. This doesn’t happen often though.

3. Escalators, at one time, were the ‘next big thing’. When was the last time you rode an escalator?

I don’t remember… possibly when I went to the mall pre-plague.

4. Have you ever ‘let’ someone win in a sports competition or a board game? How did it turn out?

Yes. It was fine. I’m not that competitive in games generally… I simply like to play (in person… zoom sucks).

Melanie’s Muggle Questions:

I’m very short on time today (Sunday) so I’m borrowing from Rory and Sandmanjazz to fill the questions today:

1. Do our fears start with our DNA? (Credit to Rory)

Some do, especially the fear of potentially deadly things. Others can be triggered by a traumatic event. 🐍

2. If you could have your hair any colour for 24 hours, what colour would you choose? (Credit to Sandmanjazz)


3. When do you think a person gets old? (Credit to Rory)

When they’ve lived 2/3 or more of their predicted lifespan. Age is a number!

4. GRATITUDE SECTION (as always this is optional). Please feel free to write about an uplifting moment in your life this week!

I’m grateful Benadryl exists.

Jesse breaking bad science


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Melanie and Breaking Bad

Bloggerz 3

Bitmoji me time reading with kitty cat

I missed a few of Rory’s Bloggerz posts, since the last one I did was in June. They do take some time, so possibly I passed them up on purpose. Today I have time… it’s 102 degrees and I feel too yucky to do anything creative.

Here are this month’s 12 questions

1. What really lights you up?

My granddaughter. She’s so adorable and fun to be around. I love the little vids her mom sends.

2. When do you think we become old?

Well, for me age IS a number, so I’m not going to spout some cliche. Today my life expectancy is 85.9, giving me 26.5 more years. This means I’ve used up about 69% of my life. That’s over two-thirds, so in my opinion I’m past “middle age” and into Oldville. Plus, I’m a grandma! 💖💖

3. What’s in your fridge right now?

Milk, rye bread, eggs, pickles, carrots, etc.

4. Never mind three wishes give me one good fantasy which would be … ?

A massive blue tsunami at the polls this November.

Blue tsunami eagle

5. How do you think your readers see you as the writer of your blog as a person away from your blog?

Idk. It depends if they know me IRL and/or other places online, plus everyone has their own spin on things. 🙃

6. How do you wish to be seen and interpreted as a person away from your blog by the readers of your blog?

Daenerys and dragons

7. Do our fears start with our DNA?

Some fears are hardwired, such as the fear of snakes, heights, water, and other things that can kill you. Not everyone has those, of course, and some have them to a greater degree. Other fears are triggered by events that trip a switch. 😱

8. What is the truest quality of life in your opinion?

The limitless love I have for my children.

9. What do you think the secret is to you letting yourself go?

This implies that “letting yourself go” is a good thing, and I mostly disagree with that premise. I’m more a fan of work and self-discipline. I realize the question doesn’t mean turning into a fat frump but instead relates to feeling free and uninhibited by rules and expectations. My answer stands regardless.

10. What stops you from being the truer version of you or are you already the truer version of you?

I’ve always been about the same as far as my emotional inner life and how I express myself. Chronic pain has stopped me from doing all that I might have otherwise. I do self-censor to various degrees in different environments, but I think everyone should.

11. What are 7 things you have learned about blogging since you started your blog that would be beneficial to other bloggers right now?

Stop obsessing over stats, likes, etc. Asking for money (the “tip jar”) is obnoxious. The teaser link is annoying and people won’t click to read more. Don’t post links to news articles as the entirety of your post. Don’t load your posts with a gazillion images. Don’t post personal undisguised info about other people without their permission or compromise your children’s privacy. Shorter is better; learn to be succinct.

12. Should we care what other people think about us?

It depends who they are. I certainly care a lot what my daughters think about me. I care what my coworkers think. To a lesser extent, I care what my friends think. I don’t care what anons on the internet think, not that I try to antagonize anyone (anymore).

Bitmoji shrug


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Bitmoji and wherever…

My Retirement Trip

I have a fantasy that after I retire (and G has passed over the rainbow bridge) I’ll see more of the U.S. I’ll do it leisurely, maybe by train, or partly by car… spend as much or as little time as I please wherever I go. I figure I can begin in the Northwest corner and see Vancouver. Then I’ll mosey on over to Montana and check out the Big Sky. Idk how long I’ll stay there before dipping south to visit Yellowstone…

Brown bear

Next, there will be a stop in North Dakota to visit the reptile zoo. Then I’ll make my way to the Chicago area, where hopefully I can visit some peeps and cruise around some old haunts. Then I would want to see a bit of Michigan before continuing on to Pennsylvania. Never have been to Philly, so I need to stay there a bit.

After that, I need to deal seriously with New England. Boston is a must-see, and also Providence. Burlington, VT is where some of my family lived way back, so it’s on the list. I want to go up to Maine too and see the places Stephen King writes about. Obviously, I will spend some time in New York, duh!

Manhattan New York City

I’ll journey down the East Coast and check out the touristy stuff in D.C. Gotta see some of Virginia also… and absolutely for sure Nashville. Dunno if there’s anything else I need to check out before visiting Atlanta. And I will definitely see New Orleans, as I’ve been wanting to for ages…

Apparently I have to cross some vast nothingness to get to New Mexico, where I’d likely spend a bunch of time seeing Cool Things. Breaking Bad, yo! Colorado is in the plan, even though I went as a teenager. Worth a second visit, imo. And Utah! Drove through Zion National Park once on the way to Vegas and it was utterly gorgeous. This time, I’d really see it. Arizona needs a revisit as well. Beautiful place!

Arizona Grand Canyon

Nice fantasy trip, yes? 😍


Written for Fandango’s Dog Days #1.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.