Tag Archives: aging

Kintsugi [socs]


Generally I’m a pretty good speller, so it’s not often I look up a word, plus most devices have spellcheck and I haven’t been writing love letters by hand recently. But yesterday I did check the spelling of “kintsugi” for a poem. It’s been a while since I’ve used it, and the last time I did, I may have used the alt spelling “kintsukuroi.”

A friend, also named Linda, invited me to submit a piece of writing for her project, which is what motivated my latest kintsugi poetry. I may post it here too. We shall see. I’ve been posting quite a lot lately and not finishing my novel, which I really want to do. It’s easier to read WP though and come up with some new bloggery than focus on the ending to my story.

As a philosophy, kintsugi is quite appealing to me. Embrace the broken and turn flaws into strengths! The older I get, the more I appreciate the wisdom and kindness behind this idea. We’re so used to throwing things (and people) away when they exhibit or develop imperfections that it takes some effort to help mend a break and treasure something or someone despite their flaws. The next level is to be able to view flaws as attributes… broken pieces repaired with gold.

I’m not talking about politicians who should be thrown out of office in disgrace instead of embraced for their deliberately obnoxious behavior. Vote Blue! 🧢🦋🐬🌎💦


Written for Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Scary Share


Melanie has some new questions for us this week…

When was the last time you tried something new? How did that go for you? -Generally, I avoid new things like the pl… you know. But recently I have tried kefir in a couple flavors and it’s delicious! 🤩

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say? -“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” (Maya Angelou) 👍🏻

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? -80… I’m cranky, achy, set in my ways, and want to eat dinner early! 🤣

Lastly, I’ll be doing one “Halloween” themed question per week during October.  Those who don’t observe the holiday are welcome to answer or to ignore it as they wish.

Fun  CREEPY Halloween Question:

Have you ever seen a ‘fresh’ corpse (aka dead body)? -Yes, my mother. 😢💔

GRATITUDE SECTION (always optional)

Do you enjoy any seasonal traditions around this time of year? -The girls and I have a “tradition” of eating pumpkin pancakes 🥞 in the fall, which is nice. Not sure I will this year if I have to make them myself. Being efficient, I already ate a bag of Brach’s pumpkin candy, which I usually do in October. Still need some Reese’s PB pumpkins though. I guess this is all about sugary food for me! 🎃😋

Rainbow pumpkins


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ86: Dream A Little Dream

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks…

What has been the strangest, weirdest dream that you can remember? What do you think triggered that dream?

When I was very young, I dreamt about getting attacked by a wolf, which I think was triggered by having a sore throat in the night. I mentioned this dream in a SYW post recently:

I was little, around 10 or under, and dreamt I got lost at the zoo. I ended up behind the exhibits and there was a wolf loose. He jumped on me and ripped my throat open. In the dream, I died, though I understand that isn’t supposed to happen in dreams. I woke up with strep throat.

This 2011 baby dream could symbolize creativity. Maybe I was writing a lot then, or thinking about new ideas for novels.

Fantasy reading romance novel book

Here’s a scaryweird dream I had in 2011 about a pink and yellow lizard. This one could have been triggered by alcohol, or dating, neither of which agree with me.

When I was married, I had lots of dreams about drowning. Here’s one I had a few years later in 2013. Two others that stand out in my memory are as follows. Once when I was in a strange huge house with my whole family (including the ex’s), plus people from school, no one would listen to me that there was water coming up to the windows. Finally, we all had to go onto the roof. Another time I was in a carnival type ride with both my daughters and we ended up on the Coast Highway where everything was flooded. Supposedly these drowning dreams arise from feeling overwhelmed or suffocated by something. Or someone…

I had this dream about my mom in 2013. I think about Mom a lot and miss her so much. I’ve had plenty of other dreams with her in them, but they weren’t weird enough to remember. 💔

If love could have saved you

In 2016, I had a few dreams about driving (one with scary dogs). I’ve had many more dreams about driving, often where I’m not in the seat the right way and can’t reach the brake pedal. Driving scares me, so it makes sense I dream about it. One benefit of this bizarre year is that I’m in the car a lot less.

Lately, I don’t dream much (or my memory is immediately wiped). Maybe it’s because I don’t usually sleep that soundly, idk. I used to be such a great sleeper! Oh well… aging, whaddayagonna do?

It was fun to do the “research” for this post. Thanks, Fandango! 🙂 Sorry I couldn’t pick just one.

Bitmoji shrug


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Fandango, Bitmoji, etc.

Shared Labor

Share Your World

Happy Labor Day! To honor our workers, including me, I will answer Melanie’s SYW questions, as I do almost every Monday. Once again, there are two sets… one from Roger for HP fans and one from Melanie except she copied them from others. 🙃

Roger’s Magical, Mystical Questions:

1. What happened to cause you to discover ‘bullies” were real?

Starting school. Kids are monsters. 👹

2. Eavesdropping. When given the chance, how often do you eavesdrop? (this may be a similar question to what some folks said they’d do with an invisibility cloak)

It depends. Mostly I hate all noise, which includes other people’s jabber. But if I get the feeling something interesting is going on, I might listen to use it in a story. This doesn’t happen often though.

3. Escalators, at one time, were the ‘next big thing’. When was the last time you rode an escalator?

I don’t remember… possibly when I went to the mall pre-plague.

4. Have you ever ‘let’ someone win in a sports competition or a board game? How did it turn out?

Yes. It was fine. I’m not that competitive in games generally… I simply like to play (in person… zoom sucks).

Melanie’s Muggle Questions:

I’m very short on time today (Sunday) so I’m borrowing from Rory and Sandmanjazz to fill the questions today:

1. Do our fears start with our DNA? (Credit to Rory)

Some do, especially the fear of potentially deadly things. Others can be triggered by a traumatic event. 🐍

2. If you could have your hair any colour for 24 hours, what colour would you choose? (Credit to Sandmanjazz)


3. When do you think a person gets old? (Credit to Rory)

When they’ve lived 2/3 or more of their predicted lifespan. Age is a number!

4. GRATITUDE SECTION (as always this is optional). Please feel free to write about an uplifting moment in your life this week!

I’m grateful Benadryl exists.

Jesse breaking bad science


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Melanie and Breaking Bad

Bloggerz 3

Bitmoji me time reading with kitty cat

I missed a few of Rory’s Bloggerz posts, since the last one I did was in June. They do take some time, so possibly I passed them up on purpose. Today I have time… it’s 102 degrees and I feel too yucky to do anything creative.

Here are this month’s 12 questions

1. What really lights you up?

My granddaughter. She’s so adorable and fun to be around. I love the little vids her mom sends.

2. When do you think we become old?

Well, for me age IS a number, so I’m not going to spout some cliche. Today my life expectancy is 85.9, giving me 26.5 more years. This means I’ve used up about 69% of my life. That’s over two-thirds, so in my opinion I’m past “middle age” and into Oldville. Plus, I’m a grandma! 💖💖

3. What’s in your fridge right now?

Milk, rye bread, eggs, pickles, carrots, etc.

4. Never mind three wishes give me one good fantasy which would be … ?

A massive blue tsunami at the polls this November.

Blue tsunami eagle

5. How do you think your readers see you as the writer of your blog as a person away from your blog?

Idk. It depends if they know me IRL and/or other places online, plus everyone has their own spin on things. 🙃

6. How do you wish to be seen and interpreted as a person away from your blog by the readers of your blog?

Daenerys and dragons

7. Do our fears start with our DNA?

Some fears are hardwired, such as the fear of snakes, heights, water, and other things that can kill you. Not everyone has those, of course, and some have them to a greater degree. Other fears are triggered by events that trip a switch. 😱

8. What is the truest quality of life in your opinion?

The limitless love I have for my children.

9. What do you think the secret is to you letting yourself go?

This implies that “letting yourself go” is a good thing, and I mostly disagree with that premise. I’m more a fan of work and self-discipline. I realize the question doesn’t mean turning into a fat frump but instead relates to feeling free and uninhibited by rules and expectations. My answer stands regardless.

10. What stops you from being the truer version of you or are you already the truer version of you?

I’ve always been about the same as far as my emotional inner life and how I express myself. Chronic pain has stopped me from doing all that I might have otherwise. I do self-censor to various degrees in different environments, but I think everyone should.

11. What are 7 things you have learned about blogging since you started your blog that would be beneficial to other bloggers right now?

Stop obsessing over stats, likes, etc. Asking for money (the “tip jar”) is obnoxious. The teaser link is annoying and people won’t click to read more. Don’t post links to news articles as the entirety of your post. Don’t load your posts with a gazillion images. Don’t post personal undisguised info about other people without their permission or compromise your children’s privacy. Shorter is better; learn to be succinct.

12. Should we care what other people think about us?

It depends who they are. I certainly care a lot what my daughters think about me. I care what my coworkers think. To a lesser extent, I care what my friends think. I don’t care what anons on the internet think, not that I try to antagonize anyone (anymore).

Bitmoji shrug


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images credited to Bitmoji and wherever…

My Retirement Trip

I have a fantasy that after I retire (and G has passed over the rainbow bridge) I’ll see more of the U.S. I’ll do it leisurely, maybe by train, or partly by car… spend as much or as little time as I please wherever I go. I figure I can begin in the Northwest corner and see Vancouver. Then I’ll mosey on over to Montana and check out the Big Sky. Idk how long I’ll stay there before dipping south to visit Yellowstone…

Brown bear

Next, there will be a stop in North Dakota to visit the reptile zoo. Then I’ll make my way to the Chicago area, where hopefully I can visit some peeps and cruise around some old haunts. Then I would want to see a bit of Michigan before continuing on to Pennsylvania. Never have been to Philly, so I need to stay there a bit.

After that, I need to deal seriously with New England. Boston is a must-see, and also Providence. Burlington, VT is where some of my family lived way back, so it’s on the list. I want to go up to Maine too and see the places Stephen King writes about. Obviously, I will spend some time in New York, duh!

Manhattan New York City

I’ll journey down the East Coast and check out the touristy stuff in D.C. Gotta see some of Virginia also… and absolutely for sure Nashville. Dunno if there’s anything else I need to check out before visiting Atlanta. And I will definitely see New Orleans, as I’ve been wanting to for ages…

Apparently I have to cross some vast nothingness to get to New Mexico, where I’d likely spend a bunch of time seeing Cool Things. Breaking Bad, yo! Colorado is in the plan, even though I went as a teenager. Worth a second visit, imo. And Utah! Drove through Zion National Park once on the way to Vegas and it was utterly gorgeous. This time, I’d really see it. Arizona needs a revisit as well. Beautiful place!

Arizona Grand Canyon

Nice fantasy trip, yes? 😍


Written for Fandango’s Dog Days #1.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ80: Me Qua Me

Fandango provocatively asks…

Is the concept of “you” continuous or does the past “you” continually fade into the present and future “you”? Considering that your body, your mind, and your memories are changing over time, what part of “you” sticks around?

Interesting question, Fandango! I don’t actually believe there is a “me” (or a “you”) in the sense of a collection of qualities distinct from my physical being. Of course I have traits and characteristics, but I don’t define my essence with them… or with anything.

Yesterday I posted some adjectives to describe myself in response to a prompt. You wouldn’t be able to pick me out of a crowd by using them though. Description is not definition (try describing an apple to someone who has never experienced one). Some of these adjectives vary and some don’t. Forex, if I think of myself as a creative person, yet I go months/years without creating anything, then who am I really? I might knock that one off the list…

I used to worry that others had a solid core identity and could conceptualize it, while I did not. But I no longer believe that. What I mean is that, yes, others may think they have an identity, but it’s merely a collection of traits, preferences, memories, goals, etc. That’s what I come up with too, when I try to consider my me-ness.

So, yes, these descriptors change over time, as my body does, and they’re also twined together. My physical limitations inform some of my other traits. Would I dislike noise so much if I didn’t get migraines? I don’t know. I would like to think of myself as spontaneous and helpful, but I’m not because of chronic pain. I used to be more loving, giving, affectionate, and flexible toward others, but I’m not so much of those qualities now.

And also, no. Hah! There is an essence of me-ness that endures. It consists of my unique experiences and how I’ve chosen to interpret them. No one else has the exact same set of memories that I have. There may come a time however when I begin to forget memories I consider important now. How many can I lose before my me-ness vanishes as well?

I don’t know.


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Girl Talk [flash 160]

wear purple

Carol danced into the room and interrupted the conversation. “Girls, how do you like the new me?”

“Uh, we liked the old you,” Janet said. “Gosh, that’s a lot of purple you’re wearing.”

“People are swearing?” Rosemary yelled.

“No, dear,” Carol shouted back. “Adjust your hearing aid. We are talking about how I’m going to live life to the fullest now that I’ve turned eighty-five.”

Janet waved a hand. “Don’t make excuses for wanting more male attention, Carol. We know how you are. But the guys are gonna laugh at your crazy clothing.”

“Psssh, I just passed Leo in the hall and he called me a hottie.” Carol smiled.

“Leo is blind, honey,” Rosemary said. “This hearing aid has a poor design. It’s not my fault. Did anyone bring coconut cookies?”

Carol swirled around the table. “People can believe whatever they want! Feathers and sequins make me happy!”

“Fine,” Janet said. “Are you in for Go Fish or not?”


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 20

Monday Peeve kitty

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!


Morons! So annoying, amirite? And idiots, omg grrrr! Could do a whole peeve on ’em, but instead I’m gonna peeve about people who are so darn quick to label others not only stupid but implying they somehow deserve their fate because they just weren’t savvy enough to catch on to some piece of technology. Tough luck, Grandma. Too bad about your life savings, eh? You shoulda been smarter, like a 22 year old knowitall.

I see this online all the time… people gloating about how they would never fall for a scam and shrugging at all the idiots who did. Great, so you’re rooting for the criminals? Congratulations.

Who knows why someone makes a dumb mistake in the heat of the moment. Maybe they are mentally impaired or ill. Maybe they were sleepy or stressed. Maybe they clicked the button inadvertently. Do they “deserve” to then be fleeced by a crook? I say no!

It hasn’t happened to me, but it could. I’ve done other dumb things. And my father, a very smart man in his prime, got taken advantage of by con artists when he was old and incapacitated. Did he deserve that? No! He did not and neither do all the other confused old folks who are victims of crime every day.

It pisses me off when I read these smug people calling others morons because they were victims of a scam. Just wait. If you’re lucky enough to make it to 80, you might end up “moronic” one day yourself.


Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House [socs]

Stream of consciousness Saturday

My last call (as of 10:15 Friday morning when I’m writing this) was from my Toyota guy. Why is he calling, I wondered, when I’m sitting right here in the waiting room drinking their coffee? But he said to come out to his “office,” so I did like a good little customer. He told me my filters were dirty and also they wanted to add a magic potion to my fuel. Naturally, these were not on my plan. I agreed because what do I know? Nothing! They know I know nothing, which makes it a great relationship.

What’s funny is that I used to yell at my father for doing this. Omg, old senile person, I fumed at him! (In nicer words.) Why go to the dealer rip-off service? Shop around! But he insisted he was comfortable at the dealer and didn’t mind paying a little more. Well, since then, my daughters got ripped off at other places, and by the time I got my new Corolla in 2016, what did I do? Took it right to the dealer for service even after the warranty was done ~ I bought another warranty, hah.

My ex-husband said never ever ever buy extended warranties, but you know what? He’s not the boss of me anymore, pffft! 😛

I was going to write about last call at a bar, back in Chicago in 1983, when I was in love with Mark (that asshole) and we danced to a Lionel Ritchie song and then he took another girl on a camping trip, but then I remembered that 1983 was a loooooooong time ago and my car is more interesting.


Image from Shelley Krupa.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.