Make Me A Sandwich

This is the yummy veggie sandwich I used to get at our office building café BC. How I miss it… and my office! I’m one of those odd people who like working in an office every day. And I liked going to school way back when too. 📚

At first, I was gonna riff on the whole “sand witch” thing, but a billion people got there first. I hate when that happens. Which it always does. Instead, I will reminisce about the time that I actually got out of bed to make a guy a sandwich and he complained later that I hadn’t baked him a lasagna. True story for the #paulacanpickem file.

Anyway. The veggie sandwich isn’t my very favorite sandwich; it’s just my favorite that I used to get while working. My favorite is probably a grilled cheese and tomato. I’ve experimented with various breads and different cheeses, and I have to say that I always return to rye bread and American cheese. I also like my grilled cheese very well done, almost burnt, not golden like they serve it in restaurants.

Another favorite sandwich is loxonabagel. Yes, all one word like that. Most of the time, I have this deliciousness open-faced, but it still counts as a sandwich.

Please note how it’s perfectly fine and even recommended (by yours truly) to dot the cream cheese with capers, but I’d rather not have onions on my loxonabagel sandwich. And please no tomato! Save that for grilled cheese. Keep your sandwich fixings in their lanes.

Yes, I know there is tomato in this photo. I am just saying. The only way to know your loxonabagel is better sans tomato is to have one with tomato, amirite? 🤣

Moving on. Some people call a hamburger a sandwich… are you one of them?

I think it’s acceptable! The point is to have a thing between two other separate things. I’m defining it that way to eliminate stuff like pie, which is #notasandwich, but to include sandwich cookies, which we will discuss in depth soon. You didn’t think I was going to end this post without talking about cookies, did you? 😱😱😱

Anyway. Here we have a bun (hun), which is two separate bread pieces, and it creates a convenient way to hold the things inside, which we then can nom while continuing to lose at cards, just as the Earl of Sandwich envisioned. Of course, we must not nom on the pictured cheezberder because it is a CD holder and that would be gross.

Five years ago, when we were living like normal humans, relatively speaking, my eldest took me to a wonderful high tea in Northern California. We had the most scrumptious little cucumber sandwiches and other delights and pastries, and of course many pots of lovely tea. 💖

Before I bring the dessert cart, please allow me to pay tribute to one of the best combos ever invented: the peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

My favorite combo is Jif smooth PB with blackberry or strawberry jam (not jelly) on whole wheat. What’s yours?

Okay, onto the sandwich cookie! Oreo has a baZillion flavors out now, some totes ridonkulous, but I must admit that besides the Double Stuf original flavor, I thought the cookie dough was pretty tasty.

Up in Northern California (again ~ they have yummo food!), my daughter treated me to this divine hazelnut pastry at an Italian bakery.

So so so good!

In my fantasy of living a normal life again, whenever that may happen, if it even ever does… I’ll walk into a restaurant without worrying about the last time everything was soaked in bleach, order a sandwich at the counter without fretting over how close people are standing to me, and calmly eat my lunch in a booth with my mind on my blog or a book or work or family or friends or whatever thing other than the you know what!

~*~

Image credit to Jim Adams.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FEXIT Anniversary

Somewhere around this week or so, two years ago, I exited Facebook. I don’t mean I took a break; I mean I deleted my account (Instagram too). Not only don’t I miss the endless flamewars, fake news, intrusive ads, hacking, privacy invasions, creepy scams, and daily time wasting blabber, but from what I hear, it’s only gotten worse.

I received grief for this, natch. Certain people were unhappy with me ~ they felt rejected and refused to communicate with me via other means. They did not share my concerns about the hacking, etc. I didn’t judge them for staying and still don’t; my daughters remain on Facebook, after all. It makes sense to be where everyone else is. I just don’t want to. I lack the willpower to resist jumping into the flames myself, and there goes my free time.

Others thought I’d feel isolated and return. I do feel isolated, but in a good way. There are times I get a tiny reminder of FB via Messenger, which unfortunately I still have due to some friends’ refusal to text. People like to form various Messenger groups and occasionally there are minor kerfuffles, like during the past few weeks over COVID-19.

Isn’t human behavior fascinating? On the one side we have doctors and scientists; and on the other we have… “but I wanna!” I believe I have summed up the entirety of the fussing with that, though I am positive that on FB it goes on and on and on. You log on and bam! You’re hit with those tags for another 127 comments… and who can resist reading them? Not me. Suddenly, you find yourself angry with friends and vice versa, over garbage some politician said who couldn’t give a crap about any of you.

But hey, if you still enjoy the place… great! I bet it’ll be booming this weekend since the USA has shut down and we have nowhere to go and no sports to watch. Please allow me to make a humble suggestion. Between ranting over other people hoarding TP and Lysol wipes, running to Costco (just one more time), telling your kids to move their junk out of the spare room cuz you’re working from home now, etc… why not buy my book? There’s no reason not to! It’s cheap, it’s fun, and it mocks everyone! Yay!

Thanks in advance! Please don’t forget to leave a review. ❤️💙

~*~

Images from Google and Pexels.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Retirement [flash 172]

It was a myth that you’d miss working 6 months after retirement. Marty had heard all the jokes as he’d opted to get out early, and here he was… sleeping half the day away, with his most important decision being should he make pancakes or waffles for brunch?

He rubbed his hands together with glee as he started the coffeemaker. Mmm French roast. So delicious! He did not miss the crap brew they’d had back at work, nor the intrigue and gossip among his backbiting colleagues.

Sure, it got lonely at times, but Marty had resilience. He’d signed up for a macrame class at the community center and Linda next door had invited him to join her bird watching club. Fun!

He sure was not going to miss the screams and howls of his old job, the crying, the punching, the spitting, the stabbing, the tranquilizer darts, the shock collars…

Nope, Marty was not gonna miss teaching in that third grade classroom one bit!

Besides, his neck was still a little sore.

~*~

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge 54.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Glimmer

I do not ask for pity
Though I may be a wretched soul
Lost to love and dreams,
My body cold and broken,
Withering in shadows.

I reject your useless pity!
Save it for the hungry,
With their outstretched bowls;
For I have no need of food
Here in my cage of bones.

Where were your tears of pity
When I could have used a hand?
Stuff your sobbing eulogies;
I prefer the subtle glimmer
Of the sunrise come to greet me.

~*~

Written for Eugi’s Weekly Prompt.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Purrompts! 🐱

Gatsby here. Mommy is busy, so I’m doing the Wednesday post today from up on the fridge where I have a good view of all the things. As you can see, Mommy tried to take the energy guide sticker off the front of the fridge and failed, lolz! I refuse to help with such frivolous endeavors, for I am original cat and concern myself with much more important matters such as killing spiders and hiding under the bed if it appears Mommy might take me to the vet. My life is no cake walk, I’ll tell you that! I don’t think Mommy appreciates how many complicated tasks I perform while she’s out, but it’s all very tiring and now I must nap.

Goodbye! 💤

~*~

Image from Paula Light’s library.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Magical Garden of Immortality [fiction 587]

The diner looked like any other, and Mitch was skeptical he’d come to the right place. He opened the door a crack and peered inside, expecting to see a dimly lit room full of candles and woo, but instead the light was bright and people were drinking their coffees and eating sandwiches.

A gruff voice behind him said, “You going in, buddy, or what?”

Mitch stepped inside. A waitress told him to take any seat, so he found a small booth for two and sat facing the door. A menu stood in a silver holder with a picture of a lush fruit bowl in the South Seas on the cover, and he picked it up. There were the usual salads and burgers, shakes and pies, on offer.

“You ready?” the waitress said, appearing in front of the booth with pencil and pad.

“I, um, heard that this place was a portal,” Mitch said. “But all I see on the menu is lunch.”

She rolled her eyes. “Check the back.”

Mitch turned the menu over. On the back was a list titled “Infinity Realms.” It was a double column and his eyes began to glaze over reading through the small curly font.

“Usually people know the one they want before they get here,” the waitress said. “And they just tell me the code. We’re kinda busy today and portals close at one.”

“Okay okay.” Mitch had made his decision this morning, after months of agonizing, and he wanted it done. “I found it. The code is XB8720A75.”

“A popular one.” She smiled. “Do you want fries with that?”

“No thanks. Just coffee, black.”

She returned in a minute with his coffee. “I’ll let you know when your portal is ready. You can pay now though.”

He handed her a cashier’s check. It was all he had; that was the deal.

As he waited, he imagined his realm. It would be full of natural beauty… leafy trees, a riot of vivid blooming flowers, butterflies and birds, a sparkling waterfall, lovely warm sunshine… a meadow to lie in, woods to wander in… but also people to admire his works, unlike here. They’d read his poetry and appreciate it. Women would respect his intelligence and deep thoughts instead of brushing him off as an oddball. They’d all compete to date him, but he’d only spend his time with the nicest ones who had tender temperaments.

“Okay.” The waitress reappeared. “Go to the men’s room.”

Mitch walked to the back of the diner and opened the door to the men’s restroom.

It worked!

Mitch was no longer in the diner, but in a gorgeous garden where he’d live forever and be loved and appreciated. He bent down to sniff a fat yellow rose, but was disappointed when he couldn’t pick up a scent.

“Hi honey, welcome home!”

Mitch turned to find a naked redheaded woman slinking toward him. She reminded him of his third grade teacher. “Hi,” he said, embarrassed. “Would you like to hear some of my poetry?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Poetry? Ew. I want to devour you in a wild frenzy of lust! How does that sound for your last moment of consciousness ?”

“Not great.” Mitch backed away. “I don’t want to be devoured. This is the Garden of Immortality, remember?”

“Oh honey!” She laughed. “You must have put in the wrong code. This is the Garden of Immorality, and I’m the chief cannibal. Meet my friends…”

Mitch stared in horror as hungry naked women emerged from the trees.

~*~

Written for MLM’s Magical Garden Prompt.

Written for Teresa’s Immortality Prompt.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Christmas Eve Morning [flash 278]

“Mom, Bryce and I cleaned the fireplace so Santa won’t get all dirty when he comes down the chimney tonight,” Brianna announced.

Kim nodded. “Great work. Now can you pick up your rooms so your cousins don’t have to sleep on top of books and clothes and bags of chips?”

Brianna rolled her eyes. “Fine, but they won’t care! All they do is play some dumb flower game on their phones anyway.”

“I care,” Kim said as she resumed looking through the fridge for expired food to toss in the trash before her sister arrived to judge her.

“Honey,” her husband said as he brewed up some coffee at the counter, “why are you throwing away my favorite pickles?”

“Because I don’t want to listen to Karen lecture us all on the evil effect of salt again.” Kim began going through the cabinets. “I’m dumping these cookies too.”

“Not the pecan sandies!” Tom looked aghast. “Don’t you think you should dial it down a notch? What are we having for Christmas dinner anyway?”

Kim shrugged. “Karen said she was taking care of everything so we could relax. Isn’t that nice of her?”

“Oh, my God.” Tom passed his wife a cup of coffee. “We’ll all starve to death!”

“Don’t be silly.” Kim smiled at her husband. “Our perceptive neighbors next door are keeping emergency rations warm for us. We’ll just have to find excuses to sneak away at different times. The kids are already coordinating their exits.”

“Brilliant! But let’s have these pecan sandies to fortify ourselves with.” Tom opened the bag and handed a cookie to Kim.

Bryce and Brianna entered the kitchen. “Cookies for breakfast! Yay!”

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

My Visitor [flash 300]

The first time he visited I immediately recognized him. I was here because of him, and yet I had done him worse. The area surrounding me was vacant, so I figured he’d strayed too far on his dog walk. But the next morning he appeared again, strolling around as if this were a park instead of barren land at the end of an ancient railroad line.

When he came the third time, I knew it was not a coincidence. He walked past the leafless trees to where the crumbled stones rested.

“Hello, friend,” he said.

I of course said nothing. I waited.

His dog seemed disinclined to explore and stood by the man as he spoke again. “I’m sorry I did not come before. I wasn’t sure where you were. But I know you’re here. I can feel it. A kind of… electricity.”

He pulled a penlight from his pocket and directed it at the stones, but none had names. He switched off the light. The dog made an anxious whimper.

“It doesn’t matter. I know you’re here,” he repeated. “And I wanted to tell you, if it makes any difference now, that I forgive you. That’s my purpose in tracking you down.”

I didn’t do anything, not that there was much I could do.

He made a noise, possibly a laugh or a sob. “Anyway, I just wanted to say that, odd as it may sound with me still alive and you… well, whatever. If you need that to be free or something, you have it.”

Maybe I did need it. I felt even lighter as he walked away, the dog trotting briskly ahead. My last ties to this place felt as if they were dissolving in a pool of mist and I could float up to the stars…

~*~

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge 44

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Treasure [flash 200]

“Lou, are you sure this is the right way,” Sandy asked her husband. “The air smells weird. Didn’t the treasure map say we were supposed to pass a short fat tree with crimson flowers?”

Lou checked his compass. “I calculate that we will reach the crescent rock in fifteen minutes. Besides, that tree back there had crimson flowers.”

Sandy shook her head. “No, they were just pink.”

“Kind of a dark pink though, right?”

“Not really, Lou. Candy pink, like the sweater I wore last Valentine’s Day when we went to that steak place. We indulged in the decadent triple chocolate mousse after. Mmm…”

“What steak place? The one on Oak or the one off Westport?”

“Oh my God!” Sandy yelled. “You don’t remember where we went on Valentine’s Day?”

“Shhhh, Sandy!” Lou hissed. “Don’t give away our location. There are other treasure hunters looking for His Flagrant Mistress.”

“That’s a dumb name for a ship anyway,” Sandy said. “We’ll probably just find a giant chest full of romance novels.”

They both erupted in laughter until they shushed each other simultaneously. “Even if we don’t find treasure,” Lou said, “this sure has been a super fun day.”

“Yes, it has.”

~*~

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See 7.

Image credit to Pinterest.

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

A New Life [flash 201]

When she was a child, she played in a magic garden with a sparkling unicorn and a rainbow of butterflies. One day, she jumped in a glittering aqua pool and was pulled out by rough hands. Scared, she stared into an unfamiliar face.

“Foolish girl,” the old man said. “That river is dirty. Don’t go in there again.”

“What about my white horse?” she cried.

He laughed but not unkindly and returned her to the orphanage, where they punished her for escaping again. A few years later, they sent her out to work for a wealthy family to earn her keep. She cleaned their floors and sometimes was allowed to help in the kitchen, where she might stir a pot of sauce or cut up vegetables.

One day, she was in the driveway helping the chauffeur wax the white limo when the old man appeared, the one who pulled her from the river. He didn’t seem to recognize her however.

But when he walked past he commented, “When you’re eighteen you can get your license and learn to drive my limo. Maybe a car can replace the white horse you left behind and you can create a new life for yourself.”

~*~

BrewNSpew Cafe

Image credit to lovethispic.com

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.