Supplemental Peeve! 😡

Zero Chill Bitmoji

I already wrote today’s peeve last week and it went live at 4am today, but as I read the replies to Dr. Tanya’s post about posting, I am feeling the need to peeve again! And I can’t wait a whole week, I’m sorry. There are times, my friends, when our peeves must be let out of their cages at once, or else… or else… idk what. BAD THINGS. 😱

Dr. Tanya asks…

1. How long are your blog posts on average?

They are exactly as long as they need to be.

2. Given the option, would you rather post long form or short form content?

I would “rather” post as many words as I need to per post until I am done ranting about whatever thing, or a piece of flash fiction is finished, or a poem has reached the end.

3. Time is short and the attention spans of social media users shorter still, why do you think the search engines prefer longer content?

My guess is that short posts are the tool of spammers and other annoying folks who like to fling out links to news articles sans commentary just so other bloggers will visit their sites and they’ll get ad click revenue. I’m pleased to learn that search engines are trying to thwart this nonsense.

Also, time is no shorter than it ever was, fyi. An hour still has 60 minutes in it; a day contains 24 hours as it always has. Not only that, but we now have a zillion things to save us time… who churns their own butter or takes their clothes to the river to wash them anymore? Okay then.

Am I supposed to care what my readers prefer? Well, my active readers seem to like and comment on whatever silliness I write.

Thank you! ❤️✨🤩

As far as everyone else, pffft. Like it or lump it, as a famous philosopher once said.

~*~

Image credit to Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Monday Peeve 18

Monday Peeve cat

Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the #TMP tag, and link back to me (or not ~ I dgaf), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen! I have feelings!

*

I need to give a shout-out to Melanie (Sparks from a combustible mind) for inspiring this peeve. One of her posts reminded me that I had this topic on my mental peeve list, but so many new annoying things happened that I forgot about it. Well, before that happens again, here it is!

There’s this trend that I hate (one of) where a woman of 40+ poses nude or in a skimpy bikini and people fall all over themselves to exclaim how she “doesn’t look her age.” But let me say that I am not opposed to people posing nude if that makes them happy bla bla. That’s not the issue here.

My issue is this constant drumbeat of how if any woman over 40 (or 50, etc.) looks good, then she “doesn’t look her age.” Wtf? Maybe over 40 is an attractive age to be! Perhaps over 50 is as well! Why is ayyyy congrats you don’t look older than dirt a compliment? Eff off! Who the hell decided that only 23 year olds can look good, so if anyone older does, she must be some kind of freak of nature? Oh right. Men decided that! 🙄

Another issue is when you get someone who is clearly surgically altered and/or enhanced, not to mention richer than God, posing very very carefully on her yacht or whatever. This is the one percent of the one percent… not something any normal woman could aspire to, and it isn’t even how the celeb looks anyway. It’s all fake! So, why even comment on how great she looks “for her age” (or any age) or ogle her as if any normal man would even be able to get through security to say hello to her? It’s all so stupid!

Stop fawning over celebrities. It’s gross.

~*~

Image originally from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Magical Garden of Immortality [fiction 587]

Beautiful garden

The diner looked like any other, and Mitch was skeptical he’d come to the right place. He opened the door a crack and peered inside, expecting to see a dimly lit room full of candles and woo, but instead the light was bright and people were drinking their coffees and eating sandwiches.

A gruff voice behind him said, “You going in, buddy, or what?”

Mitch stepped inside. A waitress told him to take any seat, so he found a small booth for two and sat facing the door. A menu stood in a silver holder with a picture of a lush fruit bowl in the South Seas on the cover, and he picked it up. There were the usual salads and burgers, shakes and pies, on offer.

“You ready?” the waitress said, appearing in front of the booth with pencil and pad.

“I, um, heard that this place was a portal,” Mitch said. “But all I see on the menu is lunch.”

She rolled her eyes. “Check the back.”

Mitch turned the menu over. On the back was a list titled “Infinity Realms.” It was a double column and his eyes began to glaze over reading through the small curly font.

“Usually people know the one they want before they get here,” the waitress said. “And they just tell me the code. We’re kinda busy today and portals close at one.”

“Okay okay.” Mitch had made his decision this morning, after months of agonizing, and he wanted it done. “I found it. The code is XB8720A75.”

“A popular one.” She smiled. “Do you want fries with that?”

“No thanks. Just coffee, black.”

She returned in a minute with his coffee. “I’ll let you know when your portal is ready. You can pay now though.”

He handed her a cashier’s check. It was all he had; that was the deal.

As he waited, he imagined his realm. It would be full of natural beauty… leafy trees, a riot of vivid blooming flowers, butterflies and birds, a sparkling waterfall, lovely warm sunshine… a meadow to lie in, woods to wander in… but also people to admire his works, unlike here. They’d read his poetry and appreciate it. Women would respect his intelligence and deep thoughts instead of brushing him off as an oddball. They’d all compete to date him, but he’d only spend his time with the nicest ones who had tender temperaments.

“Okay.” The waitress reappeared. “Go to the men’s room.”

Mitch walked to the back of the diner and opened the door to the men’s restroom.

Swirling colors

It worked!

Mitch was no longer in the diner, but in a gorgeous garden where he’d live forever and be loved and appreciated. He bent down to sniff a fat yellow rose, but was disappointed when he couldn’t pick up a scent.

“Hi honey, welcome home!”

Mitch turned to find a naked redheaded woman slinking toward him. She reminded him of his third grade teacher. “Hi,” he said, embarrassed. “Would you like to hear some of my poetry?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Poetry? Ew. I want to devour you in a wild frenzy of lust! How does that sound for your last moment of consciousness ?”

“Not great.” Mitch backed away. “I don’t want to be devoured. This is the Garden of Immortality, remember?”

“Oh honey!” She laughed. “You must have put in the wrong code. This is the Garden of Immorality, and I’m the chief cannibal. Meet my friends…”

Mitch stared in horror as hungry naked women emerged from the trees.

~*~

Written for MLM’s Magical Garden Prompt.

Written for Teresa’s Immortality Prompt.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

SLS ~ In the Middle

Song Lyric Sunday

This week Jim gives us some fun words to play with. I was torn between “In the Middle” and “Fat Bottom Girls,” but I went with Jimmy Eat World because I figure I’ll have plenty of other chances for Queen.

“In the Middle” was released in November 2001 from Jimmy Eat World, on their self-financed fourth album Bleed American, an unfortunate name for that particular time. The band had been dropped by their label in 1999 for not selling enough, but ITM hit No. 5. Ironically, the song is about staying true to yourself when faced with pressure.

In the Middle by Jimmy Eat World


Hey
Don’t write yourself off yet
It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away
It just takes some time
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right
Hey
You know they’re all the same
You know you’re doing better on your own so don’t buy in
Live right now
Just be yourself
It doesn’t matter if that’s good enough for someone else
It just takes some time
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right
It just takes some time
Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right

[…]

~*~

Image from Jim Adams.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Ten Year Report

Di of Pensitivity101 tagged me for this introspective challenge. I’ll begin with the high points of the past 10 years, followed by the low, and then answer her questions. I’m not going to tag anyone else. 🙂

High Points 2010 – 2020

In 2011, my sweet kitty Gatsby came into my life via the Orange County Animal Shelter. 😻❤️

My daughters both graduated from college (and did extremely well too), one in 2012 and one in 2015.

They also both got married to awesome guys (2017, 2019)! 💖💖

In 2018, a wonderful little granddaughter arrived! 😍✨🤩

I have published many books during these 10 years, and while they may not fly off the shelves, the fact that I have actual finished novels and other books out there gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

Low Points 2010 – 2020

My divorce was final in 2011, and while this was a necessary step, it’s still sad.

The relationship I had through my 2-year divorce process ended badly in 2011.

The entire 5-year dating debacle that followed was a depressing, and at times frightening, mess and continues to have repercussions to this day.

My dad passed in 2013 (my mom in 2008).

My cat Cocoa died in 2010 or 2011… my memory is a bit fuzzy right now. 😢

Di’s Questions

Is there any year in the past decade that stands out as the best?

-This last one (2019) ended up on a positive note because I moved into a new place with a good friend and got away from my old rundown apartment. I also spent quite a bit of time with family and friends and began writing a fun story. 🙂

Has your taste in music changed in the past ten years or do you think music in general has changed?

-I don’t listen to much new music, but in the last several years I’ve found myself liking more country and folk songs. Hard rock is a bit of a bore sometimes lately.

Are you heavier or lighter than you were ten years ago?

-I’m about the same, up maybe 2-3 pounds. But in the middle of these 10 years I was much lighter ~ I got sick from sushi (will never have it again) and could hardly eat for a month. Then a certain relationship stressed me out so much, anxiety kept my appetite away. I was 10 pounds lighter than today and so right now I feel “fat” because I liked the way I looked then. I’m hoping to get back there, but via exercise and good habits. 😇

How many cars have you owned in the past decade?

-Two.

Fun prompt! 🥳

~*~

Image snagged from Rory!

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

On Our Way [socs]

Stream of consciousness Saturday

On our wayto better days. That’s what we say, pumped up with our New Year’s Goals. Like many others, I’ve vowed to get in better shape… and the parking lot at the gym is crowded now. Yes, I drive to the gym, even though it’s in my condo complex, since management can’t seem to program my electronic key to get me through the last walk-thru gate. It’s like the opening sequence to Get Smart, if you’re old enough to remember that show. But whenever I ask about the key, the person who needs to deal with it has just left for the day. 🙄

I’m trying to avoid getting raging angry about so many things (another resolution). So what if I can’t walk through to the gym? It’s not the worst thing in the world. Now, the gate closest to my apartment has quit working from the outside… that’s okay, right? They’ll fix it eventually and it’s fine to take the long way around to a different gate. More exercise! Plus, it’s not like I do everything perfectly myself… I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life too. As long as one gate works, and I can get home… like, whatever. 😜

My three words are from the chapter titled “Worth” in Jennifer Weiner’s book Hungry Heart. I don’t know why I purchased this book, except it has a picture of an upscale looking Hostess cupcake on the cover. I don’t think I’ve read any of her novels. I wanted to enjoy this book, because cupcake and also a smart and funny writer writing smartly and humorously about feeling fat and unloved… that’s so unusual! 🙃

But HH is incredibly tedious and dejavuey… like haven’t a million other smart fat girls written smartly and fatly about being smart and fat? Yawnnnn. And I find myself skimming much of Jennifer’s complaining. I loved her trip to Israel though, and how she finally decided to say eff it regarding other people’s opinions when she returned. Yeah! Who cares what people think! 😎

I thought the story would really take off from there, but no, back to yawwnville. An autobiography doesn’t have to be boring; I’ve read interesting ones. But they need to be edited, and saggy sections should be cut. Am I going to abandon it? No, I’ll probably skim the rest, so I can get credit for it on Goodreads. And I remain hopeful that there is something more to it I can enjoy, since I did get totally immersed in the one section. 🤩

Speaking of saggy things, exercise makes you hungry. If you burn up 100 calories on a bike, your brain will say hello time for a vat of pasta. And you can say no brain we are having a sensible scoop of tuna and some yummy crisp veggies. But our brain is sulking and plotting on how to trip us up. It’s not about being a “good” person or a “bad” person; we all come from a long line of people who avoided starving to death when there was very little food. Yay us and our superhero metabolisms. 😜

I see I forgot to finish this post Friday night and schedule it at 4am Saturday because I’ve been obsessed with watching Jeopardy on Netflix this week (not the GOAT thing, but catching up from last year). When I got home at 10, I turned on the TV, forgetting all about blogging. That’s unusual for me, but these are strange times. 😳

Luckily, I woke up earlier than God… and the first thing I thought of was yikes I didn’t post for SOCS! 😱

~*~

Image credit to Shelley Krupa.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

PFF32: Romeo, Romeo!

Friday Flashback

Welcome to Paula’s Friday Flashback! This is a challenge begun by Fandango and it’s fun to see what we posted back when (as well as the comments). The below is a reblog of a post I made on January 8, 2014. You’ll have to click through to see the pics. Enjoy!

Romeo, Romeo

I received Romeo, Romeo (by Robin Kaye) as a gift and read it last weekend. I really enjoyed this romance novel ~ I appreciate that Kaye attempted to make her main characters a little different from the norm (without having them be vampires, thanks) and I am always predisposed to like an East Coast Italian setting, even if it doesn’t have any mobsters in it. WAIT! It did have a couple, um… OK, not gonna give anything away here. 

I gotta tell you that Kaye immediately broke one of my commandments and mished up POVs right off the bat within the same scene. But guess what? I forgave her! No, this does not mean you get to do it. It just means that the story hooked me from page one and I was so eager to find out what happened that I thought, well poop, and moved on anyway.

The protagonists are not super-likeable when you meet them. They’re involved in other relationships that make you go wtf? But they’re interesting. And their attraction to each other feels real and compelling. The minor characters shine in their own right and the side plots do not resolve predictably. One thing though ~ did there have to be an Aunt Rose with the heroine named Rosalie? There are other Italian names, for Pete’s sake.

I did have a huge issue with this book, and it’s a peevery I have with a lot of fiction ~ Rosalie’s career. She’s a 27 year old “corporate turnaround specialist.” She waltzes (on 4-inch heels) into failing companies, glances at their balance sheets, and fixes them. YEAH SURE. Kaye doesn’t specify Rosalie’s education creds, but it doesn’t even sound like she has more than a BA or that she put in time slogging away for someone who knows anything. She just does her fixing with one assistant. Snort.

Romeo’s career isn’t any more believable. He was a teen bad boy who through some sort of financial magic is now the most desirable bachelor in New York because he really knew his way around cars, which makes him different from all other Italian guys, natch. (But he cooks and cleans and walks Rosalie’s dog… ) How he got the money to buy his first auto dealership? Look, we don’t ask. Capice?

But this isn’t merely a Robin Kaye problem ~ so many writers have wrong ideas about careers and money. Forex, they have every lawyer making at least $500K per year and driving a Mercedes because they read that OJ Simpson’s lawyer bla bla. Or they’ll have a waitress living in a giant apartment in New York City that only someone making $500K per year could afford. They consistently have people too young being too successful. It only takes a few minutes of Googling to find out the average salaries for careers and the kind of education needed for particular jobs. Writers should do this before making their characters look unbelievable.

Otherwise? Romeo, Romeo was a fun, fast read and I’m gonna buy at least a few more of Robin’s books to review. Also, I’m finally getting used to reading on my Kindle Fire! I think my days of buying paper books and dumping them off at the library are finally coming to an end.

/end reblog

~*~

Image from Pexels.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Thursday Inspiration 38

Welcome to Thursday Inspiration! This is my weekly prompt post and hopefully it will inspire you to write something creative, perhaps a poem or a piece of flash fiction. If you’d like to share your writing with the community, please indulge me and tag your post with #p0eticlicense and/or #lightm0tifs, and of course link back if you wish. I will try to visit everyone who participates. 🙂

This week’s theme is sunshine and the picture is below. Here is the song snippet from “Sunshine (Go Away Today)” recorded by Jonathan Edwards in 1971:

Sunshine go away today
I don’t feel much like dancing
Some man’s come he’s trying to run my life
He don’t know what he’s asking

Sunshine reflecting in water

~*~

Image from the Happy Color app.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ55: PolitICKY!

Fandango’s provocative question

I thought about skipping this FPQ because I don’t like to do politics here, but I hardly ever pass ~ I did once because I couldn’t figure out how to answer honestly without revealing too much personal detail. But anyway, I’m gonna tackle this one. 🥳

Before I start, I will mention that I’m sure people will disagree with my opinion, which is fine… however it is not okay to be nasty to me or other commenters or to troll my comments in general. And any racist, antisemitic, or other hateful comments will be deleted. That is an ongoing policy, btw.

Fandango provocatively asks…

Do you feel that Donald Trump was justified in ordering a drone strike that resulted in the assassination of Qasem Soleimani, the commander of Iran’s elite Quds Force, in an airstrike in Baghdad last week?

Do you think Trump’s decision will lead America into a hot war with Iran?

Do you think Trump’s motives are political and self serving?

I will start by saying that I can’t stand Donald Trump. I think he’s a liar and a con man, a buffoon, a narcissist, a racist (or at least panders to them), a misogynist, and an overall jerk who shouldn’t be POTUS. Needless to say, I did not vote for him and would never. However… that does not mean I am incapable of rational thought and must criticize every single thing he does as a Pavlovian reaction. I am not going to list the few things he’s done that I agree with because they are irrelevant to this question, but suffice to say they exist.

Was he justified in taking out Soleimani? I don’t know. You won’t see many, if any, people giving this answer, because social media is crammed full of intel specialists. I confess I am not one. I have read about the supposed reasons why Trump made the decision, and these reasons could be true or they could be lies, or a mishmash of both. We know that our Presidents have lied to us in the past in order to justify military actions… could this be another one of those times? Dunno!

Moving on from that… no American should be mourning Soleimani. He was a terrible man. And he will be replaced with another terrible man. Should we assassinate the next Iranian military leader if we discover a “plot” against us? What about the North Korean dude, Trump’s buddy ~ he’s always threatening us, and he already murdered one of our tourists. There are loads of bad guys… Putin, Assad, Erdogan, et al. Some would say Trump is also a bad guy…

Once assassination is on the table as a legit tool in the box, who knows where it will stop? Since I’m an American, I’m on board with protecting our interests and being tough with anyone who would hurt us. I’m not a martyr; I’m also able to grok other points of view however.

Second question… do I think this will lead us into a hot war? Again, everyone seems to have foreknowledge on this. Liberals think we’re doomed, but they’re always saying this, and eventually they’ll be right. Each of us will die, so at some point we will all be dead. Probably a catastrophic event will occur soon, as they do, like a massive epidemic or an enormous earthquake or an asteroid strike or wev… Perhaps it will be a big war, with Iran or some other player/s. Trump supporters all say this assassination will prevent war cuz now the Iranians are scared of us, or something, even though they aren’t acting scared, given that they just struck our bases in Iraq.

Me, I don’t know if we will end up in a hot war with Iran. I think it’s fine not to know. After all, we’re trying to predict the actions of a deranged demented lunatic regime and also those nutballs in Iran. Trump said he was going to attack 52 sites in Iran, one for each of our embassy hostages, which I thought was rather poetic, if Iran retaliated for Soleimani, but they did and he didn’t. So, now what? Are we done?

Finally, do I believe that Trump’s motives are political and self-serving? 😂😂😂 Well, duh! When aren’t they? Dude’s been running for re-election since the instant he became POTUS. It’s funny how his fans still act like he’s not a Washington insider and will “drain the swamp.” Newsflash for ya: after being POTUS for three years he is the swamp. Welcome to reality, folks.

~*~

Image from Fandango hisownself.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Voices Rant On! [fiction 200]

“Have a seat,” said the doctor. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

No, thanks,” Vera told him. “I’m too upset to sit down. I was just on the train and everyone was so loud.”

“Hmm,” said the doc, stroking his vest. “I wonder if you’ve tried wearing something to block the sound from your ears.

Vera paced back and forth, shaking her head. “Nice notion, but I still hear all the voices, yelling about the state of the nation and the cost of cat food.”

“Very interesting,” the doc murmured. “Myself, I prefer a raven for a pet. They never starve because they go out and hunt rats.”

“That’s insane,” Vera said.

Is not,” said the doc. “You’re the patient, never more.”

“I’m leaving this conversation.” Vera headed for the door. “Cancel my next appointment too. I’d rather save the money!”

“Fine!” The doc stamped her file case closed. “Just remember all those rants you hear are coming from inside your own head, ha ha ha!”

After a few minutes the doctor told his nurse to send in his next patient.

“Very funny, Stan,” said the nurse. “It’s time for your meds then off to beddy bye with you.”

~*~

Written for Rory’s What’s Your Story Then?

Words made from conversation: case, cat, conversation, cost, ears, in, insane, is, nation, nice, no, not, notion, on, rants, rats, raven, save, seat, sit, so, Stan, starve, tea, to, train, Vera, vest, voices.

Image from Pixabay.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.