Category Archives: Relationships

PFF6 ~ Forgettable

Welcome to my Friday Flashback! This post originally appeared here on July 12, 2017, a mere two years ago. Some people (women) are unforgettable, larger than life, and you retain vivid memories of them decades after your last meeting. Even if you’ve only met them briefly, something about their looks or vibe is utterly captivating.

I’m not one of these women. People forget me instantly. They forget my name and that they ever met or knew me. Men who slept with me don’t even recall it. I’m bland and ephemeral. Light as air. I should have been a spy, blending into the scenery wherever I roamed. I do like staying home though.

Windsong

I can’t seem to forget you…
Your 
Windsong stays on my mind.

Remember that commercial for the Prince Matchabelli perfume from 1980? I thought about it tonight when I unexpectedly ran across someone online from years ago and remembered him, but he had no memory of me at all. It was so vivid for me too, that connection we had during a time that was intense and painful for both of us, about a decade ago, and yet… it clearly meant nothing to him. Nothing at all. He apologized for failing to remember me, but it’s happened before, many times.

When I messaged this man, I was so… buoyant. I think that’s a good word for the emotion I felt earlier today. I had to shop at Target, and the whole time I was a bit floaty, thinking to myself how wonderful it would be to chat with someone who knew me from the time before… before the divorce, before my mother was gone. Why this is important to me, I don’t know. But it is. And so for a couple hours I felt light and happy, certain that my life would take a new direction as the man and I renewed our friendship.

I came home, put my stuff away, fed my kitty, fed the feral kitties (all three were around tonight!), got a snack, logged back on, and after a little while a message arrived. The man did not remember me. Oh well. Then that old commercial jingle popped into my head and I wondered if it would be possible to find it on YouTube. Of course… first hit.

[I replaced the dead video with a new one.]

An Award! 🌸

Lovely Linda has lavished me with a Liebster! Thank you so much, Linda! 💖

First, I’m to present 11 facts about myself. Yes, the dreaded 11… why 11? I don’t know. But there’s nothing to be done about it. Off we go.

1. I’m a single mom of two fabulous adult daughters, and I do take a lot of credit for the fact that they’re both wonderful people.

2. I’ve worked for the same company for 18 years.

3. I’ve been married and divorced twice.

4. I was born in Sleepy Hollow, NY, but I never saw the Headless Horseman.

5. I lived in Chicago, IL for several years, and it was freezing. 🥶

6. I tried to find my soul mate after my last divorce, but nothing worked out, so now I just write all the time.

7. I’ve self-published 6 books of poetry and fiction as Paula Light. 😀

8. One of them will be available in audio shortly.

9. I’ve also self-published 2 romance novels and several short erotica stories as Anna Fondant. 🔥

10. Someone is narrating my first romance novel right now, so it should be available as an audiobook soon.

11. I have a bazillion more novels, novellas, short stories, and collections planned out to write, edit, and self-publish before I die. 🙃

Okay then. Now I’m supposed to answer some specific questions. Guess how many there are? Eleven again. Yeppers.

1. How important is Wi-Fi for you? Is warm running water or wireless internet more important?

This looks suspiciously like two questions to me. Can I get a ruling? Wi-Fi is very important, but obviously warm running water is more important. I don’t want to be boiling pots of water on the stove to wash my hair in the sink. Annoying! 😠

2. Name your favourite blogger (any genre).

Whoever gives me compliments is my fave.

3. If you have to pick a place to settle down forever, where would it be and why?

I’d like to be, under the sea, in an octopus’s garden, in the shade… 🐙

4. What is one silly moment you’ve had that you’d like to share?

I went to CVS yesterday for eyedrops and saw they were having a greeting card sale. I got so excited by the cute cards I forgot my vow to quit buying cards because they’re a waste and I picked out three. Then I forgot to notice if the cashier gave me the third one for free like the sale said. This morning I checked my receipt and of course she charged me for all of them.

5. What is your favourite trait about yourself?

I’m so good at sticking to resolutions. 😜

6. What is your favourite time of day?

Lunch!

7. Tell us your favourite food/cuisine.

Seafood with pasta. I guess that’s Italian.

8. Name three destinations you would like to visit once in your lifetime.

Yellowstone, Taos, Boston. 🚊

9. If you could change something in the world, what would it be?

Get rid of parasites. So gross.

10. What are you most passionate about?

Writing.

11. What is so special about your blog?

It reflects my creativity and my life; it’s not a regurgitation of headlines or clichés. I try to offer fresh and interesting content to keep readers amused. I hope I succeed, at least sometimes.

And… that’s all she wrote! 🙃

One-Liner Wednesday: Struggle

I love Mark Manson. I think I’m finally going to treat myself to his first book, and probably his new one as well. I went through a period of not liking him so much when he became ridiculously popular, since I had discovered him before that and liked “knowing” this secret, niche, edgy writer, but whatever. Can’t hide a light under a bushel, or something. (What the hell is a bushel?)

Regarding the main point, I’ve only really consistently loved and fought for one thing in my life: my children.

Can’t say I’ve really struggled for anything else. I just let things go when they’re hard. It’s my way.

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

FPQ30: The Whole Truth

Fandango provocatively asks…

“With everything that’s going on these days about what truth is and what facts are, do you believe truth and facts are synonymous, or do you concur with Faulkner that they have nothing to do with each other? And most important, does it even matter anymore?”

First, wow, I can’t believe we’re on number 30 already! And he may have skipped a week in there. Time flies like a banana 🍌, or something.

Second, I’m not going to answer this question in the context of politics because politicians suck. They’re all lying liars and the news is all slanted and hypocritical, so eff all that. (This doesn’t mean I’m going to give up and not vote, or write in Mickey Mouse, or anything like that. I’ll vote Dem across the board, knowing that nothing will probably change now, except for the worse, and so be it.)

Third, regarding the question… I apply it to the personal realm. Truth and facts are not synonymous, though they are related. And they do matter, very much. So much that I gave up dating because I could not trust men to tell the truth about anything (yes, I understand that women lie too, but I wasn’t dating them).

When I talk about truth, I’m talking about the collection of facts that complete a story. I will give an example.

Him: “I’m busy this weekend.”

Me: “Oh, that’s a bummer. I’ll miss you.”

Him: “I’ll miss you too, but I promised to help my mom with some stuff around her house. She can’t do all the things she used to. Her lawn is a mess and she has some virus on her computer. I’m not looking forward to driving two hundred miles and back.”

Me: “You’re a good son.”

Him: “Thanks!”

All the things he said were facts about his mom. They could even be verified if I called her (which I wouldn’t). But the story was in fact false. How can that be? He drove the 200 miles and helped his mother, and then he drove back.

But the story was incomplete. After he helped his mother and she made dinner for them, he went out for drinks with his old girlfriend who was in town that weekend. He spent the night with her before driving back on Sunday. So, while the facts he told me were all true, the story was false since it was incomplete.

That’s how they are. And if you don’t trust every word they say, then you have “issues” and are “paranoid.”

Mmhmm.

PS: The above scenario is fictional because the ones from my actual life are too complicated and ridiculous for a blog post, plus make me look bad.

Song Lyric Sunday ~ When

Jim has some question words this week and I chose when… “When Will I Be Loved?” That’s a good question. Maybe there will be an answer. Hah. This song was written by Phil Everly in 1960 for The Fabulous Style of the Everly Brothers. Many have covered it, and I like the Linda Ronstadt version, so that’s the link I’m grabbing for the video. Here are the lyrics.

I’ve been cheated, been mistreated
When will I be loved

I’ve been put down, I’ve been pushed ’round
When will I be loved

When I find a new man that I want for mine
Always breaks my heart in two, it happens every time

I’ve been made blue, I’ve been lied to
When will I be loved

When I find a new man that I want for mine
Always breaks my heart in two, it happens every time

I’ve been cheated, been mistreated
When will I be loved
When will I be loved
Tell me when will I be loved

~*~

Please check out my book Going Dark, free on a special promotion right now! No worries if you don’t have a Kindle ~ you can download a Kindle app for phone or tablet, easy peasy. Don’t forget to review my book after you read it. Thanks a million!

Tunnel Music [flash 250]

She crouched in the tunnel, wedged behind a concrete pillar. It was damp and cold back here, and she was hungry and tired. But this was the designated meeting place. It was imperative that she obtain that thumb drive and pass it along to her superior officer Agent K back at base.

She smiled at the thought of seeing Agent K again. He was so handsome! Suddenly she heard music, very faintly. Omg! She had been here so long she was hallucinating!

Cautiously, she straightened and moved away from the pillar, her silent movement sending a small puff of dust up from the dirty floor.

The music became louder. It sounded very familiar… an old-fashioned melody without words. Who was playing it? The opposition obviously… but where would he hide? She had been carefully watching this end of the tunnel and Agent R was at the other.

The shadows became a person: Agent R was walking toward her. “I have a surprise for you, Agent G,” she said, holding up her phone, from which the lilting music flowed.

“But… but… the mission!” Agent G sputtered in confusion. What was happening?

A man stepped out from the shadows behind Agent R. “Forgive the ruse, Agent G. There is no double agent to meet tonight.”

“Agent K!” She was so thrilled to see him. “What are you doing here?”

He got down on one knee in front of her. “I came here to propose to you. Please say yes, Agent G.”

Fourplay [socs]

Four used to be my lucky 🍀 number when I was married because I had a husband and two daughters, which made a symmetrical family of four. But then I got divorced and naturally changed my lucky number to three, since we were now three amazing chicks 🐤🐤🐤 on our own and doing fine.

Before long however the girls found great guys to marry and now they have their own families. I can’t really say we’re a trio of chiclets these days, even if in my mind I think of us that way. It’s no longer a reality.

I do have my little soul-kitty Gatsby and we are a duo, can’t separate us, no sirree, so maybe my lucky number is two. Could very well be so. I’m always grateful for his warm comforting furry presence even if it comes with sharp claws and teeth cuz the best things in life do have a slight edge to them.

Don’t you agree? 🐱

One-Liner Wednesday

This is a great quote… for writing a novel or a play. Smoothness would be dull, amirite? Guy meets girl, they fall in love, and they live happily ever after. Booooring!

The problem is we have mistaken art for real life. We believe true love and passion must be infused with drama, arguments, and breakups to be “exciting” and “hot.” I actually had a man break up with me and then months later text me and ask me why I hadn’t chased after him. Wtfff? Chased after him… like he was a lost puppy? I’m sorry, but we’re all adults here. If you walk away, I’m not coming after you. And if I leave a guy, it’s not to get attention and be chased. It’s because I want to get away and be left alone.

I guess this is confusing to peeps. 🙄

Leave the drama to the writers!

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

Laura’s Music Challenge 19

Happy Monday! Join in Laura’s fun song challenge and make your day more tuneful. Here we go… 😀💕🎶

1. Post a video of a song that makes you think about being a teenager.

“Imaginary Lover” is from 1978 (when I was 17) and remains one of my favorite songs to this day. They make the best lovers.

2. Post a video of a song that is about finding your voice.

Like Neil, I am from NY and moved to LA in my 20s (via Chicago). I can’t go home again, but I don’t fit in SoCal either.

3. Post a video of a song that represents a “I’ll kick your ass attitude”.

To me, kicking ass means walking away and finding happiness, not staying and continuing to engage in things that bring you down. Remember: people don’t change nor do they care about your feelings!

All The Leaves Are Brown [SOCS]

Leaves 🍁 are lovely when they change color, and it used to be a fine tradition to press them in waxed paper between leaves of a book, when we found particularly pretty specimens. Now, I live in Southern California, where we don’t generally have a visible change of seasons, and I also do most of my reading electronically. But I’m not one to pine away for the past, for the most part. I’ve never been back East since I left in 1983, to witness the beautiful colors of the trees in autumn, though I wouldn’t mind going, someday.

My first thought was to write about people leaving, as in relationships, but I like to begin the SOCS with the prompt word, in its proper form, and I couldn’t come up with anything that made grammatical sense. For the regular daily prompts, I don’t always use them in their proper form, and now this inconsistency may bother me.

Or not!

I see I italicized pine because I thought I’d stuff this post with more tree words, but I forgot, and now it’s time to branch out to other endeavors and schedule this thing already. Yes, I am barking mad, thank you for asking! 🤪