Category Archives: Relationships

Elevenses

Tea and cakes

“Darling, would you like butter or jam with your crumpet?” Miranda asked her husband at elevenses.

“I don’t give a toss.” Nigel shrugged. “I would like to know however if you’ve been shagging the butler.”

Miranda added a spoonful of sugar to her tea. “Are you talking about Lionel?”

Nigel sighed. “Of course I’m talking about Lionel, poppet. We only have the one butler.”

“No need to get cross, snoogums,” Miranda said. “I thought you might have meant Mumsy’s butler.”

“Why would I care about your mother’s butler?” Nigel bit into a crumpet. “These are rather dry.”

“Well, that’s why I asked about the butter and jam, you silly goose.” Miranda added both to her crumpet.

Nigel spread butter on the rest of his crumpet. “This makes quite a difference. Thank you, luv. Now back to the matter at hand…”

“Mumsy’s butler?” Miranda frowned. “He’s ready to retire. I was thinking that Ian might be perfect for the position.”

“Our underbutler?” Nigel frowned. “That would present a problem, dearest.”

“Whyever so?”

“Because he would have to move hundreds of miles away to your mother’s.”

Miranda gazed at Nigel over her teacup. “I didn’t realize you’d grown so fond of him.”

“He plays chess with me when you retire early with a headache, which is rather frequently.”

“I see,” Miranda said. “I won’t recommend him then.”

They finished their meal in silence.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Wish

I don’t mind that she broke my heart.

And I don’t care if she left for good.

But I wish she hadn’t stolen my bicycle!

~*~

Written for 3-Line Tales.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image credited to Lerone Pieters via Unsplash.

Bingo Update 11

Read previous update here.

For the bestseller book, I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I loved Manson when he was much less popular… found him early on when he gave mostly dating advice. Then I began to resent him. Who was this brash young guy (obviously privileged) telling everyone all this crap? And making bank off it. I quit reading him for a few years. But he was still around ~ peeps were always quoting him. Annoyed, I developed a conspiracy theory that he wasn’t even a real person but a character created by a publishing team. That still could be true… who knows.

Then my FB friend Barbara linked to one of his articles when I was depressed. I clicked. Whatever I read that day (don’t remember now) helped me so much that I subscribed to his blog by email. I grudgingly began to admire him again, so much so that I finally bought his book TSAONGAF. I didn’t read it until this challenge however.

Mark’s book is truly amazing. It’s a joy to read because he speaks to you as a friend, not as a high and mighty shrink. He admits to messing up in many areas before he began to view life much differently. He says he too is always growing and learning, and he doesn’t act like he has all the answers. He uses examples from his own life to illustrate his points, which makes his writing feel real and down to earth. Maybe the examples are made up, but regardless they are a great device to draw you in to the topic of each chapter.

My plan is to discuss in detail some of the TSAONGAF concepts that resonated the most with me in Pointless Meanders as time permits. That’s not a substitute for reading it yourself… I already feel better having finished it, and I highly recommend it in its entirety. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Two left! 📚

PS: I have no idea what happened with my phone’s pens, but I couldn’t find the right one for the checkmark, hence the slash.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image from Kriti and Ariel.

SLS ~ Cool/Freeze/Heat/Melt

Song Lyric Sunday

Thanks again to the host of Song Lyric Sunday… Jim Adams. He does a great job putting the SLS event together every week. This week’s prompts give us some fantastic musical choices. I’m going to deviate from the exact words just a tiny bit because I have a song that’s perfect for the theme. Please allow me to present Pat Benatar’s “Fire and Ice!”

This 1981 song was the lead single from Pat’s third album, Precious Time. It was written by Pat Benatar, Tom Kelly, and Scott Sheets. Pat won her second Grammy for Best Female Rock Performance in 1982 due to this song (she has 4 Grammies now). It went as high as #17 in Billboard’s Hot 100 and #2 on Mainstream Rock.

Fire and Ice

Ooh, you’re giving me the fever tonight
I don’t wanna give in, I’d be playing with fire
You forget, I’ve seen you work before
Take ’em straight to the top, leave ’em crying for more
I’ve seen you burn ’em before
Fire and ice
You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice
I wanna give you my love, but you’ll just take a little piece of my heart
You’ll just tear it apart
Moving in for the kill tonight
You got every advantage when they put out the lights
It’s not so pretty when it fades away
‘Cause it’s just an illusion in this passion play
I’ve seen you burn ’em before
Fire and ice
You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice

I wanna give you my love, but you’ll just take a little piece of my heart
So you think you got it all figured out
You’re an expert in the field, without a doubt
But I know your methods inside and out
And I won’t be taken in by fire and ice
Fire and ice
You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice
I wanna give you my love, but you’ll just take a little piece of my heart
You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice
I wanna give you my love, but you’ll just take a little piece of my heart
You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice
You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder
Fire and ice

As an extra, maybe some of you will enjoy Robert Frost’s 1920 poem of the same name.

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image created by Jim Adams.

The Stars Won’t Come Out… [socs]

If they know that you’re about
Cause they couldn’t match the glow
Of your eyes…
🎶🎶🎶

(“Candida” by Tony Orlando)

Romantic couple in restaurant

While flirty banter and pick-up lines sound cheesy to me when spoken aloud, the same words in a song can be meltingly romantic. Weird! But true. Eons ago I noticed that some songs seem deeply poetic and/or philosophical, but if you simply read the lyrics as text… meh. How about this one?

“With every step you take, I’ll be watching you.”

Omg stalker! That definitely does not sound romantic outside of the song by the Police (written by Gordon Sumner). It’s not the only one either… there are tons of creepy lyrics that seem fine when sung.

One way or another, I’m gonna find ya
I’m gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya
One way or another, I’m gonna win ya
I’m gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

Yikes, Blondie, take a chill pill! And how about this lovely ballad?

There is a rose in Spanish Harlem
A red rose up in Spanish Harlem
With eyes as black as coal
That looks down in my soul
And starts a fire there and then I lose control
I have to beg your pardon
I’m going to pick that rose
And watch her as she grows in my garden

Get a restraining order stat! Those lines do not sound romantic when read as text. They are scary, right? Dang, I’ve always loved that song (written by Jerry Leiber and Phil Spector). Let’s go with Rod Stewart for the grand finale.

You’re in my heart, you’re in my soul
You’ll be my breath should I grow old
You are my lover, you’re my best friend
You’re in my soul

Think that’s over the top too? Nah, it’s just about football (soccer). 🤣🤣🤣

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Pexels.

Breakup Songs [MLM]

Jim Adams does a great job in discussing Greg Kihn’s motivation in writing “The Breakup Song,” which has long been on my list of favorites. It illustrates the depression aspect of the grief someone can feel after the end of a relationship. The narrator is sad as he watches couples dancing together while he sits alone. “And now I’m staring at the bodies as they’re dancing so slow…”

Slow dance

No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak” (written by Gwen Stefani and Eric Stefani) is also a homage to the sadness we feel as someone leaves us. We’re tired of talking about the inevitable, wasting more useless words that failed to mend things. Just go. Don’t explain further. “And I don’t need your reasons; Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts…”

But sometimes we feel more anger than sadness, right? There are a lot of breakup songs that explore the angry aspect of grief. A perfect example of this is “You Oughtta Know” by Alanis Morissette (with Glen Ballard co-writing). She’s steaming mad! She sarcastically wishes her ex happiness with his new girlfriend. “And I’m here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away…”

Angry roar

Hank Williams’ “Your Cheatin’ Heart” is another angry song. He fantasizes how his ex will end up miserable same as he is now. “When tears come down like falling rain, You’ll toss around and call my name.” We want to believe our exes will end up sorry they dumped us, don’t we?

Denial is another aspect of grief we may feel as our world crashes around us. Eric Clapton’s “Promises” is about this concept. (Brandon Casey and others are listed as the writers.) At the beginning of the song, Eric says to his ex that he doesn’t care if she never comes home “’cause I don’t love you and you don’t love me.” He discusses why it’s better they’re apart and that’s fine. But by the end, he admits he would still love her if she’d love him back.

Billy Joel’s “An Innocent Man” is about denial. Look, he knows she’s in pain and couldn’t deal with a relationship, but none of that is his fault. It’s all due to her exes and baggage. He’s willing to explore that with her, but remember… he didn’t do anything! “And although this is a fight I can lose, the accused is an innocent man.” As we know, however, it takes two…

Innocent man angel

What about bargaining? Yep, we also find this aspect of grief represented in song. “Baby Come Back” by Player is an example of bargaining (written by John Crowley and Peter Beckett). He begins by pretending he’s fine and having fun alone (denial), but soon he admits he is miserable and wants her back. “Baby come back, you can blame it all on me; I was wrong, and I just can’t live without you.” If only she’d give him another chance, he’ll take the blame for the things that went wrong. (How many times have we heard this though? 🤣)

“We Can Work It Out” by the Beatles (written by Lennon and McCartney) is another good example of bargaining. Just give us a chance, he pleads. He goes on to mansplain about how life is short and there’s no time for fighting, okay? Just see things his way, for cryin’ out loud. Geez!

Mansplaing to woman

Then there’s acceptance. You know it’s over and you accept it, even if you’re still sad or mad. You’ve quit denying nothing is wrong and you’ve stopped bargaining for a re-do. It’s done and you have to move on. How about “Last Song” by Edward Bear? (Larry Evoy wrote it.) He’s still sad, but he’s done writing songs about her and done hoping she’ll return. “This is hard for me to say, but this is all that I can take.” Yeah. Enough!

Finally, one of my favorite songs about coming to terms with a breakup is Roxette’s “It Must Have Been Love” written by Per Hakan Gessle). “It was all that I wanted; now I’m living without. It must have been love, but it’s over now.”

Woman and path in woods

On our way down a new path…

These songs illustrate the 5 stages of grief: anger, denial, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. The stages can last a long time, and you can experience them in any order, including revisiting some you thought were finished. Emotions aren’t linear! And there are many other feelings that can occur too. Guilt, shame, fear, etc. I read that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed the 5-stage model to help explain the process of grieving over the death of a loved one. They may not apply as well to the end of a romance (and are apparently out of “scientific” favor altogether, but like whatever). I think they do help to illustrate the roller-coaster of emotions that can plague some of us when a relationship dies.

I hope you enjoyed reading this relatively long post written for Mindlovemisery. It was yet another insomnia-fueled ramble.

Please feel free to add your favorite breakup songs in comments. 💔

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Images from Pexels and Pixabay.

Unpredictable

Man in sunglasses

He had a history of being unpredictable, but she thought she could be the one to tame his wild streak. When he was happy, she encouraged him, and when he was cranky, she tried to soothe him. She built her world around his moods, devoting all her energy to an attempt to understand him. But it was never enough, for he was an endless abyss of needs he could not even articulate. She listened in vain for clues, but there was nothing, just naked silence, echoing back from infinity. Finally, she gave up and locked her heart away. And then one day, he announced he was leaving, in the softest whisper, but it did not go unheard. Ghosts climbed out of the darkness and packed his suitcase.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image found at Pixabay.

30 Day Book Challenge 2

30 day book challenge

I’m going to do this challenge in groups of 6 so that I will have only 5 posts total in June on this topic instead of one per day which would be an annoying chore. Here are my second set of books…

7. I don’t like audiobooks; silence is my jam. I do love to read on vacation though, but not in a car (barf). For a fast-paced, fun, suspense novel, I recommend Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn if you haven’t gotten to that yet. It’s so unexpectedly well done. I just love the way Flynn draws us in to the husband’s version of his missing wife’s story with the easy, conversational style so that we really feel like we know what’s going on… but then Flynn switches to the other voice. Whoops. Good stuff. I bet it would be great in audio, if you enjoy listening to books.

8. Dunno about everybody, but cat lovers as well as anyone who enjoys poignant, heart-warming, and witty storytelling in general might consider reading Peter Gethers’ The Norton Trilogy, an absolutely lovely series of books about Gethers’ adorable and brilliant Scottish Fold kitty Norton. I must confess that I’ve only read the first and last book, since that’s what was available to me at the time, but if I were to start fresh, I’d buy the trilogy as a set.

9. Hmm, I don’t have one favorite book to give as a gift, although I must say that books are my favorite gifts to give. Who doesn’t love books?! I know I do (hint, hint). I’ve already given Goodnight Moon to my granddaughter ~ every baby must have that one (plus loads of others too!). Cookbooks can be nice gifts (for people who enjoy cooking obvs). One of my friends always appreciates the latest Stephen King novel. Another likes bios of his favorite musical artists.

10. Not sure if they were “happy tears,” but When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O’Neal made me cry. What an excellent book this was! I highly recommend it, especially to anyone who enjoys family dramas and/or surfing. So good.

11. I’d love to meet Archy McNally of the Lawrence Sanders’ detective novels. Archy is such a fun and interesting guy! But just dinner, okay? I know how he is. Charming, witty, sexy, and so flirtatious… but he is a cad and he always goes back to Connie. Why she puts up with him who even knows. Perhaps I could change him though. Maybe he simply hasn’t met the right woman yet? Interesting idea. I guess I could be open to the possibility of more than dinner if the vibe was right…

12. A popular book I hate? Any book by Nicholas Sparks! Ick ick ick. I can’t stand his writing. I’m also not a fan of hobbits or Potter. Or that Dan Brown book they made into a movie with Tom Hanks. What was the name of that? Horrible. I’ve blocked it from my mind. Maybe I should end this post now… hehehe…

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image stolen from Sandmanjazz.

Silly Sharing

Share your world

I was thinking about switching to the new SYW pic Melanie has up for this week’s post, but I love this old one too much to give it up. Let’s get to the questions, shall we? 😀

1. How comfortable are you speaking in front of large groups of people?

I’m not comfortable with large groups of people period. (This predates the virus.) Sometimes I don’t even want to be in small groups either! But I can speak if I have to. I did a couple rounds of open mic stand-up comedy in front of 50 folks or so to prove I could. I also gave a speech at my daughter’s wedding in front of around 75 people. But I’d rather not do those types of things ever again.😝

2. What would be the best thing you could reasonably expect to find in a cave?

My common sense after peering in to tell me to turn right around and get the hell out of there. 🦇

3. What did you think was going to be amazing but turned out to be horrible?

My last romance (2016). 💔

4. What’s the silliest thing you’ve observed someone get upset about?

I observed the entire internet collectively freak out over an unsatisfactory ending to a TV show we’d all been watching for some time. People were very angry because the wrong character killed the bad guy and the beautiful queen destroyed a city and on and on. Folks are still complaining about it over a year later. 🙄

Gratitude:
Please feel free to share something that gave you an uplifted spirit during this past week.  (Optional)

Well… I already shared how thrilled I was to see my family last Tuesday (yikes, was that a week ago already?)… just talking to them over FaceTime since then, I guess. I’m very grateful for that technology especially now with my little granddaughter so we can see each other. 😍 It’s great when my eldest can join in too.

~*~

No clue where this image is from, but it’s not mine.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Bloggerz 2

12 silly eggs

Guess who is back with a dozen silly questions for us? Yep, you got it. The Blokey Guy aka Rory! Let’s get to it, shall we… I haven’t got all night.

  1. How spontaneous are you? Great question. I’m very fun and spontaneous, as long as I have a teensy bit of advance notice, say like 2 weeks.
  2. How flirtatious would you say you are and if that is not the word you would use then try the alternatives of ‘teasing or playful’ either way – how much are you of this? I’m loads of this as well, though perhaps I might use the word snarky or bitchy, but a rose is a rose, eh? 🌹
  3. How serious are you as a person? Welp, I would say I’m more serious as a person than I am as a kangaroo.
  4. Do you think the older we become certain emotions are easier to handle – say as an example ‘grief?’ Yes, especially when we can’t even remember what the hell happened the day before. That’s helpful.
  5. What is the most adventurous thing you have done to date? Probably dating a married man was pretty adventurous, and that worked out as well as you would expect. 💔
  6. What’s the craziest or riskiest thing you have ever done and simply got away with it or gotten caught doing it? Way way back when, I both took and gave rides from/to strangers. Don’t do this, kids.
  7. What do you think the future is of dating and other ‘other’ now that social distancing has become part of your life? Irrelevant, since I no longer date or do any other othering either.
  8. How different do you really think you are to the next person – are you prim and proper, or straight laced and serious, wild and abandoned or rebellious and controversial? I think I’m average/middle-of-the-road in almost all areas, except I can be alone for vast amounts of time and be fine (though I miss my family in this horrid lockdown). In fact, being overly social makes me exhausted and depressed, which seems different from what most people report.
  9. During this time of global concern how has your thinking changed with regards the planet, conservation, climate issues… or has it not changed one little bit? I’ve always been in favor of minimizing our pollution levels and finding ways to avoid destroying animals and their habitats. 🌎
  10. What ‘topical issues’ considered ‘taboo’ by society are you deeply passionate with and about to the point of doing something about it? None really. Just leave people alone to do as they will as long as they aren’t harming anyone else. Oh, I guess I’m a fan of internet reform, which no one likes, but I’m too lazy to do anything about it. If I were in charge, I’d likely disallow anonymity and multiple accounts. One account, per person, traceable across platforms. No trolling or sock puppets or other shenanigans used for evil purposes.
  11. What’s more important and or is there a difference between ‘Friendship and Companionship’ and if so what is that difference? There are levels to friendship for sure, from basic acquaintances to coworkers to peeps you want to hang out with in your free time. And then there are other people, maybe just a few, or only one, with whom you have a special connection (not talking romantic, though it could be)… someone who “gets” you and with whom you can easily share your feelings and experiences, knowing you won’t be judged or mocked or criticized. But also someone who shares things with you in return, so you feel you aren’t just taking but giving as well. This is what I consider companionship, beyond friendship. I don’t really have it in my life now, just sporadic friendship when people aren’t busy with other things, and I’m okay with that.
  12. What is your passion with regards writing genres – (1) what is your chosen genre and (2) what is the genre you might like to write about but lack confidence to start? I’ve written lots of romance and a little erotica, bunches of poetry, and a political romance. I’ve begun a few mysteries and “literary fiction” type works as well. Finished some shorter pieces in those genres. Dabbled in a bit of sci-fi too. As I keep saying, I’m working on a mystery/love story called Ghosted, which will be finished… at some point. Lack of confidence to write in a genre I haven’t tried before does not seem to be an issue for me. 🤣

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image found on eBay.