Category Archives: Relationships

Delicate

Weekend writing prompt

I tried to work with the delicate
Fabric and handle it gently with extra
Tender thoughtful care, paying so much
Attention to every nuance of stitching
And pulling and catching, but
It was so lacy and fine and slippery
By design that eventually it ripped
Apart between my fingers, ravels
Of threads lingering for a moment
Softly on my skin before sliding
Away never to be seen again.
Sometimes I miss the remnants
Of that time when a gossamer
Material was mine to admire,
But I suppose I would do better
With a hardier substance that
Doesn’t fall to shreds in the slightest
Breeze of discontent. 🙄

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.❤️🧁💙

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

People Are Like Cookies

Chocolate chip cookies

Beckie @ Beckie’s Mental Mess has a wonderful continuing series on various mental/emotional issues, and this week her focus is on introversion, a topic I apparently suggested (not that I have any memory of doing so). Soon, she’ll tackle amnesia, I hope! 😂

I’m going to answer the prompt questions that Beckie posted.

1. Are you more Isolated or Introverted?

I’m an introvert. I prefer to be alone or in small groups of close friends/family where we can have meaningful conversation. I also enjoy lots of online interaction. But I’m not isolated ~ most days I interact a little with actual people face to face and that’s fine.

2. Do you feel that there is a difference between the two?

Absolutely. You can be an introvert in the middle of a city, preferring not to talk to others while surrounded by people; while another person might be isolated due to circumstances, but not be introverted and love big parties.

3. What are the causes of being Isolated or Introverted?

Isolated can be by choice or circumstances. Introversion/extroversion traits are hardwired. I have always been exactly how I am.

4. Does your family/friends/co-workers question your behavior when you crave alone time and/or do not want to be bothered?

They don’t generally get fussed about my need for alone time. Some people have a bit of trouble understanding why I don’t wish to attend massive gatherings. A dozen or so people in a room is about the extent of my comfort level. More than that increases the noise to a point where the sound is just a wall crushing my head. There’s no way to have a real conversation either and I can’t stand nodding and smiling at BS.

I’m not talking about big open spaces like fairs or even restaurants that are designed for a lot of people. I’m talking about large social events where people are mashed together in rooms to be with each other. I just hate that. Why would I choose to go to such a thing when I could stay home with my boo kitty?🐱

5. Have you spoken to a therapist/psychiatrist in regards to being Isolated/Introverted?

No. Why would I? I’m fine!

6. What is a normal day being in your shoes?

I commute to work alone in my car to a small office where there is a moderate amount of talking, depending on the day and what needs to be done. Some days I’ll have a phone chat with one or both of my daughters for 20 minutes or so. Generally, I don’t socialize much with friends during the workweek. At night, I’ll do extra work, read, blog, etc.

7. If you were ever asked to go to dinner/party, would you go?  If not, what kind of excuses have you made up to get out of going?

Most weekends I do some sort of social thing that includes dinner, usually a potluck, followed by board games. But it’s with a reasonable number of people, like 10, not 100. Sometimes I’ll go to lunch with one friend, or to the movies with a few, or drive up to Los Angeles to hang with my family and whoever else might be at their place. I am not opposed to people! But they do need to be rationed, like cookies. Too many at once and I’ll just barf.🤮

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

My MBA from Blogger U

Mystery Blogger Award

Big thanks goes out to Rory @ A Guy Called Bloke for gifting me the MBA. Very much appreciated! Rory has a fantastic blog, and he’s made a lot of cool changes to its look and navigation recently, so it’s much easier to find all his neato stuffs. Personally, I’m partial to his 4-Question Challenges and 321 Quote Me’s. This year’s Valentine’s Challenge inspired me to write some fun series stories, which people seemed to enjoy. I also look forward to reading Rory’s clever poetry and his adventures with Suze and Scrappy.

So, if you haven’t visited Rory in a while, I suggest you run, hop, roll, fly, scooter, or use whatever means available to you in order to have a look around the place. Except please do avoid crossing rivers on the backs of crocodiles ~ I hear that’s not a great idea.

Crocodile with butterfly

Now, onto the T’s & C’s. You know what a stickler I am for da rules. 😂

After thanking my giftee giver (done) and linking back (ditto), I’m supposed to now mention this dude what began the whole mystery jamboree: Okoto Enigma.

Alrighty then. What next?

Oh, I’m supposed to mention three things about myself. One, I’m wearing blue nail polish. Two, I exercised before work today, go me! Three, I love pluots (plum/apricot hybrids).

Next, I’m to answer the five questions Rory posed for his giftees.

1. Are we losing the art of listening in comparison to simply hearing?

People have always tuned others out, whether by hiding behind a newspaper or turning up the TV or whatever. What’s new is that it’s now become socially acceptable to be rude in one specific way: by sticking our faces in our phones.

Forex, I go to social gatherings pretty often, sometimes at restaurants and sometimes at people’s homes. Generally, we eat and then play board games. While it would be weird and obnoxious for someone to bring a book and start reading at dinner or in the middle of a game, it’s perfectly fine for people to constantly check their phones and even to engage in lengthy texting while with the group. I’ve been guilty of this behavior myself on occasion, but I try to avoid it because I notice how annoying it is when others do it. I’ll have a quick text exchange with a daughter and that’s it. In fact, one of my girls commented late last Saturday night how strange it was I hadn’t replied to them within my usual 5-second timeframe.

Of course, you can’t pay proper attention to the people around you and listen to what they’re saying when you’re buried in a text chat or game on your phone. It’s obviously obvious and I’m working on it myself. I’ve been trying to be more present for people. It takes an effort, like anything else.

2. How often do you openly discuss with friends or here in WP with your readership topics that make you feel uncomfortable or may be taboo or stigma laden?

There are topics I avoid, such as politics, because I find the inevitable conflicts unnecessary. Sometimes I’ll comment on other people’s blogs about an issue, but even then I’m careful. I used to discuss politics on Facebook and it got so hostile and boring. Same arguments over and over. What’s the point?

Shrug

3. Do you think that these discussions should be freely discussed and written about more?

I think we are inundated with politics and most of it is utter trash. We would all be better off with much less of it occupying our attention. Take the Alabama Sharpie ridiculousness ~ it should never have been newsworthy, and it’s everyone’s fault. No one can let something go. Every minute scrap of idiocy must be banged on about to the fucking death for the clicks and lulz. Nastiest comment wins!

4. Did you have a nickname as a child and if so, what was [or what is it now]?

No. People mostly ignored me, same as now. Occasionally, they were mean, such as when a boy in 4th Grade told me my glasses made me look like Ben Franklin. But no one began calling me Ben; they just resumed ignoring me.

Ben Franklin


5. Why is there still ‘stuff’ we simply just don’t understand despite our progressive world?

Why is there stuff? Welp, it’s only recently in the grand scheme of things that we’ve begun to understand anything really. Sure, maybe the ancients had some clues about this or that, but the masses of folks…

Oh, what am I saying? The masses of folks are still hopelessly anti-science and would let the entire planet choke and die for some woozy goozy gibberish about a sky fairy swooping down to save a few and whisking them off to some candy cloud castle or whatever.

Progressive? Bah.

Crabby

For the grand finale, I’m supposed to give the award to 3 more bloggers and create 5 more questions yada… however! This blog is an Answer-Only blog. Yep. I have the official certificate here somewhere… hang on please…

Gold star to answer questions only

That’s the Mystery Award done and dusted!

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Purple Days

Purple flowers

Sticky popsicles purple

Dripping down summer chins

Our wide grins splash laughing

In those last days of play

Before everything turned

Awkward and blushing

Fraught with meaning

Everyone else’s opinions

Cold silent snowflakes

And then nothing

~*~

Written for DVerse Poetics

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Tuff Luv [socs]

Stream of consciousness

“Baby, I love your whey,” said Peter F to Miss M.

She looked up from her bowl of cottage cheese. “You can go your own way. You can call it another lonely day.”

He gestured at the desserts piled on her tuffet. “You’re gonna carry that weight a long time.”

“I want to be the girl with the most cake.”

“Why can’t we be friends?” he cried.

“It’s too late, baby, now… it’s too late.” Miss M shook her head.

Peter walked away and muttered, “Guess you’ll have to eat your lunch all by yourself.”

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

One Of These Knights…

Knight on horse

On this day, I learned that Facebook is galloping into the dating site biz… after snoozing in the stall for all these years. And I’m sure the first thought to occur to everyone is… OMG will this motivate Paula to end her extended FB vacation?

Ha ha ha ha!

No.

Remember, I didn’t merely deactivate my FB account… I deleted it. And to create a new account, I’d have to create a new email address, which is much too annoying to contemplate. Plus, I hate Facebook. Also, I hate dating. Hmm, I believe that covers everything. Sorry for being brusque.

But! I haven’t given up on finding my dream man… I just increasingly believe that he’s most likely not hanging around on the interwebnets. He may have done so, at some point in the past, and we pixeled past each other like clicks in the night, but he is doing something else now… like writing spontaneously great poetry beside a meandering stream, or perhaps painting psychedelic works of art under a tree…

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

One-Liner Wednesday

Maya Angelou quote

It’s an oldie, but a goodie. I definitely need an occasional reminder… how about you?

One-Liner Wednesday

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Free Four All

Shamrock

More from Rory’s Question Fun Directory!

Welcome to The Daily Four!

Today’s Questions to the Readers are….

Do you have any friends from your school days and if so how often do you socialise with them?

-Elizabeth is the only old friend I’m in any contact with these days, though I have corresponded with 3 other high school friends in the past. We live too far apart to socialize in person. In college, I didn’t make any lasting friendships.

Do you find it difficult to admit that you are wrong, and why?

-Not at all. I’m wrong frequently, as are most people. (I also have a poor sense of direction and am used to going oopsy.) It’s the human condition to try things out and learn from our mistakes. Otherwise, no progress would be made. Those who refuse to admit error either never try new things and/or suffer from terribly fragile egos.

What was the title of the first movie you watched in a movie theater?

-Mm, wish I could remember! The first clear memory I have is The Sound of Music, which is from 1965, when I was 4, but I’m sure my mom would have taken me to a movie before that.

What was the most awkward thing that you’ve done for a friend?

-Let’s see, back when… a friend was curious about racy novels. I was too, but I’d already read a bunch of stuff my father had lying around. Anyway, we found a sleazy adult bookstore, but friend was too chicken to go in. I wasn’t. I brazened it out and strolled through the door like hey this is normal. It was so icky! This was before men got all their pr0n online. I wandered around a bit (no cell phones then, so couldn’t text her for help) and finally grabbed a few books to buy. We read some in the car, but she made me take them home so her family wouldn’t find them.

Rory’s Daily Four

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Frozen

Cold purple dawn

You were wine and warm nights,
Fire-streaked sunsets,
Crackling conversation.
I was cold violet dawn,
Quiet morning walks,
Soft spongy footsteps.

I showed you the broken
Ice on the river,
Where the mud ugly water
Flowed underneath.
Sunlight shattered
Into rainbows on shards.

You left me soon after
For someone happy and chatty,
Picnics and laughter.
I return to the river–
It’s all frozen over.
The rainbows are gone.

~*~

Written for the Daily Echo

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.