Category Archives: Relationships

Selling Points [flash 123]

“This is a very special property,” Bob the broker told the prospective buyers. “You’re basically sequestered with lots of privacy. Only a tiny percentage of homes have such a large back yard.”

Henry the husband nodded enthusiastically. “I can definitely imagine taking a snooze back here by the tranquil koi pond. Why does the owner want to sell?”

Bob made a sad face. “She decided to move back to Japan. Her husband died suddenly and she wants to be with her family.”

“I love it!” Wendy the wife exclaimed. She walked around the back yard and stopped at the pond to peer into it. “Oh look, Henry. Their Halloween display must have fallen in. It’s a man with a knife in his back.”


Photo prompt and the words Japan, tranquil, and koi provided by The Haunted Wordsmith.


Mean Genes [SOCS]

Meandering through the online dating world, starting in the fall of 2011, I was surprised to find so many mean-spirited men, supposedly looking for love. I wasn’t surprised by the truly angry guys because I knew they’d be out there ~ easy enough to give them a swerve. But out of the blue, some trollish dude would message me and criticize the glasses I wore in my photo or whatever thing. Just stupid, sarcastic stuff. Why? I mean, maybe that was a successful approach some of the time for them: start off with a critique to spur a meaningful convo. But I’d had enough criticism when married, so to me this was a misdemeanor from which there could be no recovery.

I prefer kindness and compliments, if you know what I mean. ❤️🌹💋

Page 62, Line 6

Idea via The Haunted Wordsmith: pick up a book, turn to page 62, copy line 6, and use that to inspire a poast. Naturally I am being naughty and copying more because it’s so interesting…

But they’re not an accident. In 2004, psychologist John Jones and his colleagues examined fifteen thousand public marriage records from Walker County, Georgia, and Liberty County, Florida. They found that, indeed, people more often get married to others with the same first letter of their first name than would be expected by chance.

This is from a book I’ve had in my desk for a long time: Incognito by David Eagleman. I keep meaning to finish it. Look at this cool thing above! A treasure for an OCDer like me.

The theory is that people like people who remind them of themselves (“implicit egotism”). There are more examples given besides the names, though of course I am suspicious of these Southern marriages. Why no studies of cold-climate spouses? How about Chicago or Minneapolis? I’m kidding. Of course people like people who are like themselves. If I want to play board games, I’m going to look for a kibbitz of nerds, not a slope of skiers. Sometimes they’re the same people, but mostly not.

I’ve dated a couple guys whose names started with P and that’s worked out as well as every other letter. Maybe I should start using a different alphabet. Any recs?

Sunny & Share

A Guy Called Bloke nominated me for another Sunshine Award! I can only assume that I’m getting all these awards lately because I’m just so gosh-darned cheerful and upbeat all the fricken time. The hills are alive with the sound of meeezick! 🎶

Okay, so here’s the dealio. I’m busy. I work all day and then have a part-time gig and also NaNo. I don’t wanna schlep around tagging peeps, copying links, poasting rules, and coming up with new questions. If you wanna play, just have at it. But if the blog police come around, we don’t know each otter, capice? 😂

That said, I like Rory’s weirdass questions, so I’m gonna answer them.

1. What’s the most fun you have ever had without being under the influence of something or someone?

– Probably when my daughter and I took a quick trip to Seattle and serendipitously found a Chihouly glass garden near the Space Needle and also had incredible sushi (back when I was still eating it).

2. What’s the most fun you have ever had without the obvious, naked?

– Professional massage (almost naked). Love love love them.

3. What’s the most fun you have ever had whilst under the influence of something or someone?

– That one time when a lying liar apologized for being a narcissistic asshole and I got confused or took too many meds or something, so everything was sublime for a very short time, until I had to face reality once again. The end.

4. What’s the stupidist question l have ever asked of you?

– You packed the parachutes, right?

5. What’s the question you want to answer but no one yet, even me has not yet asked you?

– Will you please take this cursed $100M fortune off my hands?! 💰

6. What’s your suggestion for the Christmas Challenge?

– Everyone send gifts to me. I will choose my favorite and write a poem about it.

7. What is the craziest blog you have ever read, and l don’t mean mine?

– That mime guy’s. Couldn’t understand a word he was saying.

8. What is the theory of what is?

– Que sera sera.

9. What is the colour red when mixed with Tripping the Light Fantastic?

– Pistols at dawn.

10. What is the answer to the Dodo, like seriously why?

– Mimi tutu.

11. And finally, what is the answer to this riddle?

– Base two.

20 Questions

I saved these from Ashley Leia since my blogging has been a little light the last few days. Yesterday I wrote over 2500 words on my NaNo novel and penned a poem for my new book in progress, so I feel super productive starting the week.

• what’s the most dangerous situation you have ever been in?

– Driving in SoCal.

• what’s your favourite culture?

– Feline.

• what do you dislike about your own culture?

– The thing that’s currently president.

• your favourite type of travel?

– Staycation!

• do you feel understood?

– The lizard 🦎 gets me.

• how do you feel about your body?

– Hurts too much imo.

• what is your favourite film?

– When Harry Met Sally.

• are you adventurous with food?

– No.

• have you ever hated a place and wanted to come home?

– Always.

• are you bothered about others seeing you naked?

– Who? What have you heard?

• Are you a good loser?

– Yes.

• what was the favourite time of your life?

– When my girls were little and my mom was still around and I could do whatever I pleased.

• Do you have a close family connection?

– With my daughters.

• can you speak another language?

– No.

• will Trump be in for another term?

– 🤮🤮🤮

• what are your thoughts on English people?

– You mean like James Bond, Hugh Grant, handsome Dukes with castles who sometimes have to go about disguised as pirates because of some mixup… what was the question?

• was life better without mobile phones?

– Yes, and the internet, microwaves, vaccines, cars, bras, antibiotics, indoor plumbing, wheels, and fire. Fucking fire, caused so many problems.

• what has been the biggest change in your life?

– Being completely alone in my 50s and accepting this new reality.

• is climate change real?

– Duh.

• why do you like answering questions?

– It’s a nice little break from writing. Then I save them to publish in the middle of the night and know I’ll have at least one poast out for tomorrow.

Feel free to C&P and play along!

Where Tags Come To Die

The lovely Jay-lyn nominated me for yet another Sunshine Award and guess how many questions I have to answer? Yup. ELEVEN. 🙄🙄🙄 As per my SOP, I am not tagging anyone, but I encourage everyone who hasn’t done one of these yet to copy Jay’s questions and answer them on your own blog.

Thank you, Jay, for these great questions:

1. Do you believe in true love?

– Well, I’m not sure we all define it the same way, but do I believe that two people can, soon after meeting, discover a mutual and intensely fulfilling physical, emotional, and intellectual connection that builds into a caring and committed bond that lasts a lifetime… sure, why not? I think it has happened to other people.

2. Summer or Winter?

– Summer.

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?

– Idk, I don’t really like to travel and leave my kitty. 🐱

4. Have you ever sat in your car and cried for no reason other than being sad?

– I usually have a reason for being sad. But yes.

5. Science Fiction or Fantasy?

– Not clear on the difference here. SciFi is like Star Trek and fantasy is dragons? Can’t mix those, I suppose, but why not? I liked the original Star Trek and the movies with those characters a lot, but I also liked the one with Chris Pine (no, I don’t want to hear about his penis), but I love love love Game of Thrones. However, that’s kind of a one-off; I didn’t love dragon stuff before and I doubt I will again. So… yeah. Idk.

6. If you could be any fantasy character what type would you be?

– A dragon! Purple obviously.

7. If you discovered the secret to slowing down the aging process would you use it?

– On myself? How would that work? I’d quit aging, so I’d never retire, but my bosses would, and then I’d have to look for a new job? Gahhh. What about my kids ~ they’d age past me and die?! That sounds pretty horrible actually. 😢

8. Walking through the forest you come upon a large tree with a door in it, do you open the door?

– No, that seems like a bad idea. Might be a dragon in there.

9. If you opened the door in the above question what did you find?

– Dragon, hello.

10. If you did not open the door in question 8 why not?

– Probably a drug dealer’s stash. Best not to know or to leave fingerprints. In a novel, the protagonist would of course open the door, which would cause a cascade of unnecessary problems and then of course end in true love. But before that… ughhh drama!

11. Favorite all time Halloween costume.

– Devil with a blue dress on.

Eleven Eleven Eleven

Why are these award things stuck on 11 questions? It’s bizarre! Anyway, thanks to Anjali Sharma of Positive Side of the Coin for another Sunshine Award.

I don’t tag bloggers for awards. Far as I’m concerned, everyone who follows me is a ray of golden sun, so I encourage you to copy Anjali’s great questions and answer them on your own blog.

Anjali’s Questions–

1. What made you smile today?

– Knowing that my daughter and granddaughter will be here in a little while.

2. What is your biggest win?

– I won a sewing machine in a raffle in sixth grade. Gambling/lotteries have been all downhill since.

3. Your [motto] in life?

– Life is short; eat dessert first.

4. Your favourite movie?

– Dr. Zhivago, Young Frankenstein, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, An Officer and A Gentleman, Goodfellas, Risky Business, The Devil Wears Prada, lots of musicals… Sorry, can’t pick only one!

5. Your favourite books and author?

– The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Kundera); The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald); Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman (Murakami); Ray Carver’s short stories, Jennifer Crusie’s contemporary romances, etc.

6. Why you love blogging?

– Self-expression, controlled, and at a distance.

7. Which is that one movie which has inspired you the most?

Risky Business.

8. If you have read my blogs, what’s your favourite blog written by me?

– I enjoy your overall happiness theme.

9. What’s best life advice you ever got from someone?

– Do nothing (when you are upset and don’t know what to do).

10. Your goal in life?

– Continue to have a great relationship with my daughters.

11. What is your definition of love?

– Family.

Song Lyrics Sunday: Give

“With or Without You” wasn’t the first song I thought of when I saw this week’s prompt. (It was “Gimme All Your Lovin'”), but I don’t always like to go with my first idea on these because it’s often an “ear worm,” rather than a song that’s been important to me in some way, or has more meaningful lyrics. Indeed, as I let the prompt settle in my mind a bit, the U2 song materialized.

Here’s some good background info on WOWY. I know many people find Bono too political and annoying now (me too), but I loved The Joshua Tree album (1987), which is where the song is from. After a long struggle by the band to get the sound right, the lyrics to WOWY were written by Bono, inspired by his conflict at the time between his professional and domestic life.

Of course, to me, the lyrics were always about love, and how you give your self away to it, until there’s nothing left, because it’s never mutual, at least not for me.

… See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I’ll wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait, without you
… With or without you
With or without you
… Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you
… With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
… And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away […]

(full lyrics)

Agnostic vs Atheist [a bit ranty]

Back to the obsession with labels! I tried googling the difference between the two, beyond the strict dictionary definition, and received many confusing and contradictory results. Maybe we don’t need to precisely know what the difference is between an agnostic and an atheist, but instead shrug and let people call themselves what they wish. Today I’m identifying as a tiger 🐯 ~ are we all cool with this? Rawr!

I have believed for a long time that the mania to label others is mostly for negative purposes anyway. We rush to tag with a label so we can mock, box, and dismiss. That way, we don’t have to bother doing the more difficult work of actually getting to know someone as a whole person with many facets. I’m an atheist, or maybe I’m an agnostic, possibly an agnostic atheist.

Is it possible for humans to know if God exists? I tend to think it is not. That makes me agnostic. But I also acknowledge that I don’t believe in the supernatural a priori, which makes me an atheist. I dismiss every instance of someone’s account of “direct personal experience” of it and think there is, instead, a logical explanation, such as lying or hallucination or schizophrenia or other illness. I also admit the possibility that I could be wrong. But I’m not going to argue either way because I’m fine with people believing in goofy things. I believe in goofy things too, just different ones. I occasionally think my mom’s spirit is with me, which is wacky and possibly an indication of mental illness, especially since if you asked me do I believe in spirits or souls I would say NO.

Who cares, right? I used to be vegetarian for a while, then was pescatarian, but now I eat meat too, though not a lot. I never eat sushi anymore though or veal. Do these things matter to you as far as wanting to follow my blog or be my friend? I follow atheists and believers… and many who haven’t said (or I haven’t noticed). It just doesn’t matter to me. I’m totally cool with various points of view ~ makes life much more interesting.

But somehow, whether or not I believe in a supernatural being is very important to some people! Especially when I was on dating sites. Well, you knew I was going to mention that. Even to older people, who are done with the issue of having children together, this religion thingie is a big freaking deal. If someone does want to go to church every Sunday, then why aren’t they looking for dates in church groups? Anyway. As I’ve mentioned several times, older daters are a horrendously picky group, insisting on a shopping list of items in another human as if they were choosing a TV off Amazon. It’s absurd. And it’s why the same people are still single, including me. Hah!

I suppose I could believe in the old system of a bunch of random petty gods who do some good stuff, when they feel like it, and some bad shit, when they’re in a jealous or nasty mood. That would make more sense to me than this one, capital G, God who’s supposed to be perfect but lets a bunch of little kids get cancer, starve to death, or die in a tsunami. Plus HE invented parasitic w*rms. Really? Whyyy? Just for fun? Whatever. I know the faithful are okay with all of it. 🙄

I have more religious rantery saved, no worries. Happily, this one dovetailed with a prompt word today. Doves! Rainbows! Yay!

Finally Recognized for Mah Awesomeness!

This time a big super duper thank you to Parallax! I didn’t get any awards on the book of face, but here in Blogland everyone is awesome, brilliant, and gorgeous! How do I know this even without seeing their photos or IQ scores? Because they like me, silly, and bestow upon me great honors. Yayyy!

Happy happy dance la la la… what? Oh, apparently I am required to do things for the award. Omg rules. 🙄🙄🙄

K, I thanked Parallax and gave a link. My award poast? You’re looking at it, kid. A brief story of how my blog started…

To cope with an unhealthy relationship, I started this blog in March of 2011. I’d had other blogs previously but went blogless for a while. I didn’t talk directly about my relationship of course, since he knew about the blog too, but I would poast song lyrics and excerpts from books I was reading that alluded to it. Later, after we broke up, I did write a bit about how I felt at certain points, though I’ve probably deleted most of that now. I began poasting whatever… stuff from the news, though not too much partisan politics, movie reviews, my ideas about writing, migraine awareness, whines regarding dating sites, etc. Since I used Facebook for my main source of social media interaction, I didn’t worry about increasing my blog readership or linking to other bloggers, etc. Once I deleted FB this year however, that changed. It would be pretty dull to blog sans feedback, so I made a point of doing prompts and interacting with my fellow bloggers, which of course makes the whole thing much more fun.

Okay, it’s not brief ~ sue me. My two pieces of advice for new bloggers are: do not feed trolls and write about yourself or things that interest you personally rather than trying to generate hits via a formula.

I tag everyone reading this, if you haven’t been recognized specifically already! 🌺