Category Archives: OCDoodles

Friday Fourgetting

Friday four

1. Are you a perfectionist or can you take a step back and accept less than perfect?

I am pretty pretty pretty chill. Forex, when I began this post, I pondered the title because I failed to remember what I called previous FF’s. If I’d been numbering them, naturally I would need to give this one a sequential number. I looked up my previous FF’s and saw that I didn’t number them. But why were there only 9? I felt certain I’d done more FF’s than that. I clicked into Rory’s directory and discovered that he used to call them the Daily Four. Aha! I used that as my search term and found 8 more, but they weren’t numbered there either. Okay then.

Wait, what was the question? 🤣

2. How often do you save online articles to your favourites list for reading ‘later’ and more importantly when do you then read them – as in when is your ‘later?’

Pretty much never. I occasionally save a music vid to listen to when I’m in the mood, but that’s rare too. If something doesn’t grab me right away, chances are it never will and I’ll forget about it. That said, I occasionally read something so gorgeous or profound that I save it with the hope its goodness will (by osmosis) seep into my own writing. Still waiting…

Time

3. When was the last time that you actively involved yourself in doing absolutely nothing for an hour and what did you do in that hour of nothing?

Probably played games on my phone. I don’t usually do this for an hour at a clip, but all the ten minute breaks add up. I don’t recall the last time I simply daydreamed for an hour, but it has happened.

4. When was the last time that you were engaged in a difficult conversation and if you can ‘what was it and how did you do?

I try not to engage in them ever. If someone forces me to, I will stay silent or find some small point of agreement to placate them with as I edge toward the door. It’s cowardly, but it’s also practical, since most “difficult conversations” are not attempts to resolve anything, but merely an excuse to criticize someone else. There are exceptions, but this is my general MO. The last time I was forced to engage in such was this summer when someone called to complain about a friend of mine and why wasn’t I doing XYZ about it? Just ugh.

Arguing  couple

~*~

Written for Rory’s Friday Four.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

I Feel Pretty!

Bitmoji stars

Carol Anne @ Therapy Bits has nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger Award! Thank you, Carol Anne. 🌹

The idea is to list 7 random things about me, and then nominate 7 more bloggers. I will do the list, but I am not nominating anyone. Yer all beautiful! ❤️

1. I have not only already bought my holiday gifts, but also I wrapped them yesterday.

2. Yesterday I bought some wrapping paper, and mistakenly left it in my grocery cart as I tried to dodge the rain. ☔️

3. But I already had paper in that color at home anyway! 🤣

4. The shirts/sweaters and pants in my closet are organized by color, but my socks are every which way.

5. To celebrate yesterday, my roomie and I roasted a ton of veggies. Woo! Party time!

Veggies

6. I have been doing new exercises to help my back pain, and these are called “pigeon poses.”

7. I discovered last night that I can clean my laptop screen perfectly with the soft eyeglass cloth I got at Costco. Yay!

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, my friends!

Gatsby

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Neat Freak

New Q’s from Melanie!

Are you a clean or messy person?

Clean, though I get envious of those who do even more. Because of neck/back issues, I don’t clean as obsessively as I might. I’m also neat & tidy. At work, it’s harder cuz of ongoing paperwork on my desk, but at home I’m super anti-clutter. I love to throw things away!

If I asked you to describe yourself in five words – what would they be?

Smart, funny, creative, obsessive, crabby.

Do you enjoy being out in nature?

No. Theoretically, it’s great… lovely beach, peaceful hike, majestic mountains… but the reality is that so many things trigger my migraines it’s not fun to be outside. Bright sun, wind, cold, etc. are all triggers. And now, with constant back pain, it’s hard to even enjoy a simple park walk.

Incidentally, this was a huge problem for me on dating sites, where every man seemed to crave being outdoors 24/7.

What could you spend all day talking about?

Relationships, writing, psychology, games, music. Not saying I know a lot about these things, but they’re interesting to me.

Please feel free to share some gratitude from your life! Thanks!

Super grateful I was able to see part of my family this past weekend, including my newborn grandson! 💗💗💗

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image credit to Melanie.

Housekeeping Fail

pointless meanderings

So I haven’t been around blogtown much today. That’s because I’m obsessed with a new task. No, it’s not real work or anything like that. I got the bright idea from another blog to delete all my “unattached” images that were taking up space in the media folder. I love love love deleting things, and this has bugged me for a long time. Yay! Found the place, selected unattached, and POOF all gone.

Well, guess what? Right. It deleted some attached images too. Obviously, I have to go back TEN FREAKING YEARS and fix every post. I mean, what else can I do? There are a ton of issues associated with this fixing…

  1. Going back to the beginning and chronologically returning to the present is not easy. After a while, WordPress figures eh enough time spent in the past… I’ll just refresh now and pop her up to today. This puts me in such a rage I can’t even. I’ve also tried starting from today and going back, but the same thing happens. Pop!
  2. When I began this blog, I had like 10 followers and I didn’t care at all about an audience. I wrote for myself, quoting poets, jabbering about books, and sticking up pics for Wordless Wednesday. Many posts had no images, which now I see makes them BORING. So, since I’m doing the thing, I’m putting images on all my posts.
  3. I see we can’t have an actual outline here (2A, 2B, etc. ~ OF COURSE NOT!). Okay, so I don’t have the correct pics for my early posts and I’m not gonna spend even more ridiculous time googling them. I am just using what I have in my media library to get close enough. I’ve had to delete some Wordless Wednesdays completely because they are actually wordless and I don’t know what the hell was there (some still have pics and are fine ~ it’s random).
  4. An issue that arises is… can I use an image I added to my library in 2018 for a 2012 post? What if it didn’t exist then? I’ve decided I don’t care. Well, I do, but eff it. POSTS NEED IMAGES!
  5. I was worried about not doing “alt text” for these new additions, but I didn’t do that back then for any images. Consistency is important, so I’m leaving the alt text off the images (along with the copyright notice at the end of posts like I have now). Plus, I don’t always do it for current posts, especially for the Happy Color pics.
  6. Here’s something completely maddening: searches rarely work in the media library. Go on, try it. You’ll get random stuff that isn’t what you want. Like say I want some sort of boat-in-water picture. I’ll search for boat, ship, water, waves, ocean, etc. But generally the pic I want THAT EXISTS IN THE FOLDER will not come up. Then I have to scroll through hundreds of photos to find it. I pretty much know what’s there and want to avoid grabbing new images because I have so many already.
  7. Another issue is videos. I noticed that some were greyed out because I guess they weren’t permitted (I often use fun ones rather than the official ones). Naturally, I can’t leave them like that, but I’m NOT NOT NOT spending time YouTubing new ones. What to do? I delete the bad video and put a note saying so.
  8. I’m not fixing my “poast” and other silly spellings to conform to how I write now, nor am I taking out the massive amount of cursing. That’s what I wrote, so it all stays. I am trying not to read the posts closely or else I’ll want to delete them all. I have a lot of gaps anyway because until the last few years, I only blogged once in a while, maybe twice a week or so. Oh, and I kept deleting my complaints about dating and such every time I went back on a dating site. Gah.

The whole thing is a gigantic pain in the butt, but I’ll feel good once it’s done. I should have been cleaning up older posts all along, so it wouldn’t be such a monumental task all at once.

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image originally found at Pixabay.

TSAONGAF 1

pointless meanderings

TSAONGAF is the abbreviation for Mark Manson’s self-help book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I’ve read MM’s articles with some regularity, and last week I read his bestselling book. It was a great experience for me and I learned a lot. As I said earlier, I’m going to blog about some of my thoughts on his various concepts.

What does MM mean by not giving a f*ck? He points out that most of us are wrapped up in caring about so many things that we feel perpetually entitled to a perfect world and freak out when things don’t go how we want. I guess you could say that our giving f*cks too freely has turned us into a bunch of whiny Karens. MM suggests we drill down to our basic values (and change them if they aren’t working for us), and then find the few, important things to focus on. “Let the little things go.” We’ve heard that before, right?

Obsessing over way too many unimportant details has been a huge problem for me my whole life. I can’t simply decide not to and that’s that. “Don’t do that” is a negative statement, and when you focus on a negative, well, you know what happens. “Don’t eat potato chips”… now all you can think about are potato chips. I’ve been trying to substitute the negative statements with positive ones. Focus on work. Pay attention to family. Engage in self-care routines. Get more sleep and exercise. Read more books.

Focusing on these positives has had the effect of pushing some of the trivial crap away. It really does work. I don’t have time (or the inclination) to engage in social media arguments (a huge source of past stress) when I’m in the middle of a good book. If I’m filling my time with pleasurable activities, I’m less inclined to click on a new dating site “just to see.” I know that leads down a bad path. I can step back now. It’s a bit harder in some areas, such as driving ~ I still get enraged when someone does a dangerous maneuver. What does MM say about that?

It’s okay for life to suck sometimes, is what he says. We are not entitled to a perfect life, and there’s no need to feel inadequate when something fails to be perfect. So I had a frustrating drive to Los Angeles. That’s just how it is some days and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me or the way I’m living my life. Sometimes traffic is sucky and frustrating. That’s okay. I literally had this ridiculous conversation in my head the other week. I was so stupid for letting my daughter go to UCB. She had a full ride to UCD and wouldn’t have met her future husband there probably. I’d have more money now and wouldn’t have to make this horrible drive when I want to see her. God, I’m so dumb!

But then I got to her house (a half hour later than expected) and had such a great time with my family. I’m not “dumb” because there was a detour and some other drivers were being rude and awful. It’s okay for things to suck sometimes. I’m not entitled to perfection. It’s hard though to keep that mindset all the time… I’m constantly reminding myself to stay positive and not dwell on small annoyances. Being positive is more of a habit now than it used to be though, so I am improving. Slowly.

Okay, that’s the end of this PoiMo. I’ll do more MM musing another time. 🙂

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image originally found on Pixabay.

Bingo Update 8

See previous update here.

Thanks for following along with my book challenge bingo! It’s been really fun to step outside my usual genres of romance and mystery novels. As you can see, I’m almost finished with my card, but the year is only half over, so I will keep on reading… 😀

For the book about friendship/family, I read The Other Family by Loretta Nyhan. I gave this book 5 stars. Normally, I would have passed it right up… sounds boring. Recently separated mom desperately searches for a cure for her daughter’s autoimmune illnesses. In the process, they do a genealogy search and find the mom’s birth family. This causes a whole new set of problems. Sounds thrilling, eh? Welp, it was great! Pffft! I read it straight through cuz I couldn’t wait to see how it ended. ❤️

My friend Connie recommended River K. Scott’s series Rangers of the Rift, young adult contemporary fantasy stories. Just the thing to broaden my range even more! There were lots of books to choose from, and I jumped in with Salt and Silver cuz I liked the title. Probably should have begun at the beginning, but when do I do things the normal way? 🤣 Anyway, this was fast-paced, exciting writing, with some family drama and a wee bit of romantic tension too. But it was mostly about battling Dark Forces outside and within. Ooh. Not too deep because of the genre, but nicely done with teasers for the sequel.

You may have noticed that I switched checkmark colors from green to blue. This is because I received the new iPhone for my birthday ❤️ and could not match the green on the vast color wheel. When you can’t match, best to change altogether, is my motto. For checkmarks.

Only 6 books to go! Wheeeeee 😍

~*~

Image from Kriti & Ariel.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Re-Vamp

Sexy vampire

Dr. Tanya asks if we are spending our lockdown time productively. She uses the example of fishermen repairing their nets when they are unable to go to sea. Perhaps we have updated or revamped our blogs? I like that word revamped since it implies my blog was vamping in the first place. 😈

“Good evening, darling. Mind if I slip into something a bit more… sharp?”

As a matter of fact, I have been working on my blog. I’ve cleaned up some typos and dead links (more work to do there) and consolidated a few tags. Still have too many tags. You may note that I resist adding tags for your convenience. Everyone wants a tag! My tags are for my convenience. When I link back, I do it in your comments and I haven’t had anyone say they were unable to find me. Why do I need to clutter up my tag list with one-hit wonders? 🙃

I’ve added more pages. You may not see this if you only read via the reader, but it is true regardless. I’ve been organizing my favorite posts into categories and linking them on tabbed pages. I’ve updated my bio page and the descriptions on the other pages. I’ve updated the photos as well as added more entries to fiction and poetry.

In April, I participated in the A2Z challenge using games as my theme. It was a lot of fun and not stressful because I didn’t link to the main site, so I didn’t get tons of new comments to deal with. I also didn’t feel obligated to visit new blogs. I already have lots of great blogs to read! ❤️ Guess what? I already have next year’s theme chosen. I’m an optimist.

Great question. 😻

~*~

Image originally from Mixcloud.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Qwirkle Cubes [A-Z Games]

Qwirkle Cubes

Note: I’m doing the April A-to-Z challenge without signing up or linking back to the main site.

Qwirkle Cubes are 6-sided dice. There are 6 shapes and 6 colors. Each player gets 6 cubes to start and uses however many she can during a turn. You play by making matches, either in shape or color, to a row that’s already been played. Similar to Scrabble, you can increase your points on a turn by doubling up your cubes by laying them on top of a row, fully or partially, instead of using only one to begin a new leg. A “Qwirkle” is when you complete a row of 6 (same shape/different colors or same color/different shapes) ~ then you get 6 points added to your score for that play. No row is allowed to contain the same piece… unless someone screws up and no one notices because everyone is talking, which happens occasionally. 🤣

Not only is this a fun, easy to learn game, but it’s also pretty too. And it’s fabulous for all us OCD types because we’re constantly reaching over to straighten out the crooked rows. 😜

Please tune in tomorrow when I will blog about Roulette.

~*~

Image credited to me.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Wild Wacky Wednesday!

The things contained in this post may strike you as so far beyond the beyond they’re just simply unbelievable. But I assure you that every word is true, more or less.

Early this morning, I discovered that a gremlin had replaced all my precious bathroom supplies with a cat!

Cat in cabinet

Oh noooooooooooo! Where were all my tp rolls and tissue boxes and Clorox wipes?

I was so discombobulated that I ran out to get the mail and forgot to wear a mask and gloves!

Yikes! Get away from me, creepy letters!

Then things really got crazy. I mean, they went bananas!

Yep. I had 3 ripe mushy squooshy bananas, so I decided to make my friend Judene’s banana bread. My big dilemma was should I put in chocolate chips? I thought, well, I’ll probably die soon so why not eat more chocolate? That seems reasonable. But then I thought I’d get bored of eating CCBB day after day, while I could save the CC’s for baking cookies later on, if there is one, which I would not get bored with. I didn’t put in the chips. I also didn’t put in nuts cuz I’d used them all up in my salads. I know! But I did.

Banana bread

BB is yummy! If you’re wondering why it’s in a glass square pan instead of a metal loaf pan… I’ll tell you. It’s because I threw out my metal loaf pans when I moved (they were gross) and forgot to buy new ones. I reduced the oven temp 25 degrees and googled to make sure that was correct. Yes! I remembered something. Hurrah!

Next, my candle from Target arrived. Why did I have a candle delivered? To match the one I had already bought for the bathroom, silly! I like to have two of each thing, and if you think this isolation deal has lessened my OCD… well, hah! Hah. Hah. That would be three hahs. Two and an extra one.

Yes, that is an avocado 🥑 night light. What a ridiculous question. No, I do not actually light the candles.

Anyway, I got so excited when the delivery guy knocked, I flung open the door, thanked him, grabbed the box, and hugged it to my chest. Then I freaked out and immediately decontaminated my whole self. So scary to semi-interact with an actual human… they could have the thing. I could have it. AUGHHHHHHH!

And now a very strange urge is starting to overwhelm me. I haven’t had this desire in a long time and it feels so bizarre. But it’s beginning to seem like I won’t be able to deny it much longer…

You know what I’m talking about…

We shouldn’t be embarrassed, right?

It’s okay to do this even when you’re alone. Hell, maybe it’s better to do it then…

I WANNA WATCH TELEVISION! 😱😱😱

~*~

Written for You Give Me Fever.

Images mine.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

A Bunch Of Nonsense

To distract myself from myself, I’m going to answer these super intrusive questions about myself from Melanie

1. Tell us how you met your partner. Please be specific in telling your tale.

I don’t have a “partner.” I’ve been divorced since 2011 and all my attempts at dating were documented disasters. Right now, it might be nice to have someone to be cooped up with though. Or maybe not.

2. What is your most romantic experience, again with details?

I have a post in drafts called Skyloft. It’s about the best first date I ever had ~ my last first date. I had a couple more first meetings since, but they don’t count as first dates. This man was also a disaster, like the others, but worse because I’d finally begun to trust again, and after him everything was impossibly shattered. The date itself was incredible. It was the hottest day of the year, and I was sick, had been sick for a month, which made the whole experience surreal. I felt I was in a painting, with all the colors and sounds and tastes and smells so exquisitely bright. When he touched me, I felt transported to another plane. Nothing was the same again… it still isn’t. He kissed me at the beach, with the turquoise waves crashing in, just like a dream. I will never forget this, no matter what he did later.

3. What is the most extravagant purchase you’ve ever made, and why did you buy it?

I have not bought anything extravagant for a really long time. I’m super careful. I’ve spent money, sometimes a lot, but on stuff that’s necessary, such as a car (a sensible one). I simply can’t think of anything. Oh! I know. My daughter went to Costa Rica several years ago and brought me some very cool artwork. I spent $400 to have it framed. But I love it. ❤️

4. What is your favorite swear word or expression, and when are you most likely to use it?

I’m an equal opportunity swearer. I try to give all the bad words a good workout daily, but I must admit that since I haven’t been driving they’ve been sitting in a sad heap on the sofa watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island and munching potato chips. 😢

5. What is your favorite kind of pie? With or without ice cream?

Ooh pie! I had the best pie up in Northern California ~ key lime with whipped cream and a thick graham cracker crust. That is my fave, followed closely by lemon cream and then cherry. No ice cream necessary.

6. While we’re on the subject, what is your favorite ice cream, and where did you last eat it?

Cookie dough! I don’t remember when or where I ate it last. I don’t eat ice cream often because I’m always freezing. 🥶

7. Who is your most unique friend and why? (May be someone from the past.)

My daughters are both brilliant and hilarious and totally unique. I love them to bits! My besties! 💖💖 (Why? Because I raised them! Duh.)

8. What is your most irritating habit?

Yelling at my cat to quit yelling. 🐱

9. Who was your favorite teacher and why?

I loved many of my philosophy and writing professors at CSUN.

10. Do you like being alone and if so, what would you probably be doing?

I enjoy choosing to be alone; I don’t enjoy this forced isolation and not being allowed to go to work. It’s super depressing. When alone, I read, write, play phone games, chat with peeps online, etc.

11. What is the most outlandish thing you’ve ever done?

Probably picked up hitchhikers and taken rides from strange men back in Illinois. Nothing bad ever happened even though this is a terribly stupid thing to do.

12. What superstition do you always follow?

I count things a lot, which isn’t really a superstition, but more an OCD, except not that much since I don’t do it consistently. I just feel things will work out better when there’s the right number of ’em.

13. What famous person or animal have you met? Tell us about the meeting.

Not really. I’ve seen various celebs in the Los Angeles area, but haven’t hung out with any. I don’t think celebs or royals are better than anyone else, and people ought to quit making such a fuss over them. 😛

~*~

Image credit to Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.