Category Archives: OCDoodles

More About Meeee

It me bitmoji

Rory continues his Really You game with a second round of questions today…

1. Do you hoard clutter or constantly de-clutter?

As Melanie noted, clutter and hoarding are two separate things, though of course one can be a hoarder with a cluttered house. My mother, forex, was extremely neat and clean, and her homes were always free of dust and clutter, but she did hoard some weird stuff in the back of the closets. Some men I’ve known have been messy with a lot of clutter around, but I wouldn’t call them hoarders. They’re just too busy or lazy to clean up. I’ve also known messy hoarders who would literally freak out at the idea of tossing away any of their precious garbage. Ughhh. Impossible to date these people. Can’t even imagine what would happen if two of ’em ended up together… 😱

As far as me, I am neither a clutterer nor a hoarder ~ in fact, I’m notorious for throwing things away. That’s how I relieve stress. Delete delete delete! Ahhhh… Right now, I’m in the process of moving and have tossed a ton of things away and also have donated some stuff to Goodwill. It makes me feel fantastic to lighten up! I only wish I could afford to dump everything and start over completely! Well, not everything. I do have some sentimental attachment to photo albums and books, etc. But clothing and furniture and useless knickknacks bought on a whim? Meh.

Love empty clean space…

Empty clean room hardwood floor

2. Do you enjoy cooking – if so what is your ‘special dish’  and if not what is the dish you wish you could create?

This is a complicated question. I loved cooking when I was young, but it was also a form of control for me. I wanted to know exactly what I was eating and how much in order to count calories. Later, I lightened up about that, but at the same time became more adept in estimating the calories in restaurant foods (pro-tip: always higher than you imagine), plus there are a zillion guides and charts now. I was happy to cook for my family and figure out ways to create meals we could all enjoy. I never forced anyone to eat anything they disliked cuz I hate when people do that to me.

But now I’m alone. It’s not fun to cook for myself and have to clean up a sink full of dishes after. I dislike buying in quantities I know will go to waste, eat the same meal 5 times, or freeze it in blobs. Occasionally, I’ll make something for a potluck, but with so many people now vegan or gluten-free or paleo… meh. It’s just easier to stop at the store for a fruit bowl or whatever. I keep careful track of my finances, and I’m not spending more now that I’ve quit bothering to cook for myself.

When I was dating (barf), I thought it would be romantic to cook with someone, but things never progressed to that point. I kept running into these man-babies who were looking to be coddled and nurtured by having someone prepare hot meals for them when they came over. Welp… I work full-time same as they do. I am totally not into slaving away over a stove for some dude while he watches the game. It’s not 1950, hello!

June Cleavage costume cherry pie

3. What are we likely to find in your condiment cupboard?

I just threw everything away! 🤣🤣🤣

~*~

Rory’s Question Fun Directory

Image credit to the Bitmoji app, Google, and Amazon.

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

My Bad

Bitmoji sorry

Bloggers have been discussing plagiarism as it relates to images. While I have strong opinions about “regular” plagiarism, I’ve been sloppy with respect to pics. For the ones on Pixabay, they say no attribution is necessary, so I’ve been taking them at their word there. I also don’t bother crediting the ones from Pexels which are right here on the WordPress tab ~ it literally says “free photo library.” However… I can see that people might get confused and believe they are my photos when they aren’t. 🤯

Obviously the pictures from the Happy Color app are not mine, since the HC logo appears in the image itself. I see no need to be redundant and state it again, though I was doing so at first. And bitmojis are from their own app, even if not marked (not my problem ~ I’ve been putting “bitmoji” in the alt text lately). But my own photos (or ones I’m using with permission from family) should be noted, just to discourage others from believing they were found on a free site. I probably should put a mark on them, not that it couldn’t be chopped off. Such a pain. I’ll get right on it…

The main problem is google images. I have some on here, uncredited. I think I used to say I found an image on google, but then figured eh why bother. Google doesn’t need my help in promotion, plus saying you found an image by grabbing it off google doesn’t really give credit to the copyright holder if there is one. That’s like saying hey thanks big box store where I stole a little piece of candy! I’m sure the big boxers are grateful for the mention. 🙄

Think about it. If you take a photo of your lunch today and plop it on your blog, after a while it will end up in the great googly image warehouse. Next year, someone googles “bagel sandwich” and finds your photo, saves it, and plops it on their blog. They state: “found on google.” How does this give you any credit for your photo? It doesn’t. But at least this other blogger isn’t saying she took the photo herself. I guess that’s something.

Paula Light’s bagel sandwich

Anyway, henceforth and forthwith I vow to be clearer with image crediting until I forget again. When I do inevitably forget, here’s a rule of thumb: bad photos are mine; good photos are someone else’s. Hope that helps! 🤣

~*~

Images from the Bitmoji app and Paula Light’s personal collection.

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Writer’s Block

Colorful typewriter What do you think is the best way of dealing with writer’s block?

These days I don’t get writer’s block. My problem is the opposite: I always have too much to say and can get scattered. My mind is full of a zillion ideas and many seem worthwhile to pursue. While I’m writing a story, often another nags at me until I have to stop and give that one some attention. This is the reason that after all these years I’ve only completed a few novels. There are a whole bunch more in various stages of drafts. Hell, it’s hard to even finish a 5,000 word short story when I could pop on the ‘press and pound out a 500 word post or three. 👻

Some of you may have noted that I have two serial stories in progress on this blog right now. I’m bored with both of them, though not blocked. I know exactly how I want them to continue and end. But it’s simply more fun to start new things. I’ve also lost my motivation to finish my WIPs for my Kindle bookshelf, which may mean my OCD has succumbed to ADHD. A battle of the disorders! Ooh, that could be a cool story! 🤣

On the extremely rare occasion that I feel I want to write but words fail to flow, I get away from the keyboard and immerse in a different form of creativity, such as baking or coloring or listening to music. The words always return. 🎶

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Karma Chameleon

Chameleon

This may sound odd coming from an atheist, but I believe in karma. Now, this is not the first dictionary definition of karma, with reincarnation and yada, but my own notion of logic and being held accountable. Cause and effect, baby.

Forex, if you drive like a rude, reckless jerk, sooner or later you’re going to pay for that. Maybe you’ll rack up a pile of tickets and eventually lose your license or get hurt in an accident. Unfortunately, you may end up hurting others. Then you’ll get dumped in the $$$$ end of the insurance pool. Cause and effect, no supernatural interference necessary.

I am of course aware that this karma (or whatever you prefer to call it) does not work perfectly. Some jerks seem to cruise through life, breaking rules and screwing people over, with zero consequences. Or so it appears. I don’t believe they suffer some “hell” after death; perhaps they experience suffering we simply don’t know about. Or they just escape penalty for their terrible behavior. It happens. As we used to say on Usenet, shurgs.

And what about the total other end of the spectrum? I’m talking about wonderful folks like my mom who are inclined to help everyone they can and are full of general goodness and virtue? We don’t always see these people get rewarded, and sometimes they suffer when they shouldn’t. Again, (a) we don’t always know all the facts, and (b) it’s not a perfect system. Shurgs.

Have I come to believe all this merely as a way to reconcile events in my own life? Yeah maybe. And so what? I’m as guilty as anyone else for wanting order to things, and maybe more. Probably lots more!

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Some Light Housekeeping

Cleaning

First, my apologies for unfollowing and re-following some of you tonight. A handful of you were in my list twice, and due to my OCD I had to delete you and add you back. For whatever reason, WordPress did not allow me to simply delete the duplicates. That would be too convenient. 🙄

I discovered something interesting. The list of blogs on the WP app manager does not show all the blogs I follow. I always knew it couldn’t possibly be complete as it was way too short. What’s weird is how random it was though. Some bloggers I interact with daily were there (Fandango, forex), but others weren’t (Ashleyleia, forex). It also included others who haven’t posted a thing in 6 months.

Even curiouser, when I unfollowed some of those inactive bloggers, others then popped in (such as Ashleyleia). I spent quite some time “curating” this list, though I know I should peruse the real list on a browser to get the full picture. I’m sure there must be dozens of inactive blogs floating around in my actual list even after this hosing.

I deleted some active blogs too… ones focused on topics I’m just not into, such as pure photography and recipes without much chitchat. Business blogs, advice and self-help stuff. And call me ageist if you want, but I’m not so much into the student bloggery. They have their peeps; they don’t need Grandma.

There’s just so much! I need to have some filters, however arbitrary. I want to read other writers who post a lot.

But not too much! Cuz that’s annoying, as discussed.

Shrug

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Wrappin’ [socs]

Bows and ribbon

Wrapping gets a bad rap. Peeps dread wrapping, which I don’t understand ~ I love to wrap. Maybe it’s just another one of my OCD things. You know, get everything at right angles. That’s key. Right angles. Then folding and taping and making triangles all over the place, mmm. ❤️

Well! I’m jumping ahead, aren’t I? In an ideal world, say at a gift wrapping salon, you could choose the perfect paper for each gift. Wouldn’t that be delicious? No more generic giant bargain roll of swirly rainbow confetti paper for everyone’s birthday. We would have little trains for train games, kitties for cat gifts, cupcakes for bakeware, etc. All the holidays would be represented of course as well as special anniversary paper and plain hues to mix-match. Fun! 🎉

Wrapping paper

After getting the paper business all squared away, we would deal with bows and things. How I love making my own boingies! Omg! I could do that all day… though I’d probably get my carpal tunnel back after a half-hour, oh well. But I’d definitely mix things up: some bows, some curls, some fancy ribbon, etc. It depends on the gift and the occasion and the paper.

Did I mention I love wrapping? 😻

Miscellaneous gifts

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ40: Control Freak

Fandango provocatively asks…

“How much control do you believe you have over your own life?”

Not much!

Now, that might strike some as a strange response, given that I’m sort of a control freak, but I think some of us CF types are that way precisely as a reaction to how little control we actually do have.

I mean, there’s really nothing I can do about so many things. Natural disasters come when they will, and sure I can have some bottled water and flashlights on hand, but I doubt those will help me in a real crisis. I don’t have the resources to create an underground bunker, assuming you can get to one in time and can last out whatever thing. What do you do in said bunker if you have a heart attack and need a doctor? Do you kidnap one and bring him with you just in case? How about surgery and meds?

Unnatural disasters are pretty much the same thing. I drive defensively, but there’s always some idiot blasting out of nowhere ~ and indeed one hit me and sped off three years ago. You try to plan for the “black swan,” but the one that appears is often not the one you modeled. I stay home a lot to avoid people and accidents, but a while back I fell in my bathroom and cracked my head on the tub.

Shit happens, and it keeps coming. I was contentedly living in my cozy apartment when the owner decided to switch things up, brought in a management company, and raised the rent 25%. Nothing I could do. Moving is expensive; housing in SoCal is insane. Leaving the area for a cheaper one… and hope to get a new job in my late 50s? Umm. I do feel trapped like a mouse.

How do I cope? Obsessively arrange my paper clips and shoes. Make sure all my socks are folded the same way. Keep items at right angles. Create lots of lists so I can cross things off. This all gives me the illusion of control in a chaotic world. But I know nothing is really in my control and that sucks.

(I am not seeking advice. Thank you!)

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Sunday Night Blahs

Witch with cat and candelabra

Later tonight my 3TC post will pop into the feed ~ I have 10 more scheduled. These 10 include an announcement that September 10 will be the end of my 3TC hosting. Please let me know if you’d like to host (it’s fun!), and I’ll add your name to the remaining posts so people are aware. I’ve done 178 of these posts now (including the ones coming up), and it’s time for me to move on.

I will continue my Thursday Inspiration prompts because I really enjoy doing those. I don’t always write something myself, but I find it inspirational to search for the music to go with the picture. I’ve been using my Happy Color app pictures, which make me… happy. 🙂

I’ve done two audiobooks and am really disappointed that the narrators don’t seem to be helping out with any marketing. I thought we were in this together. Oh well. It was a good experiment, I guess, but it took a lot of time (and these were short books!), so I won’t be doing more. In a way, I’m glad my 200 page romance novel never got going as an audiobook because that would have taken forever to review.

From time to time, I get bummed out about writing generally, and this is one of those times. I never seem to get anywhere. I don’t have time to market like you’re supposed to, and nothing I write is great enough or lucky enough to simply take off without that. Yes, I write because I love to, but after all these years, it’s depressing not to have made any money at it.

I recently encountered a published poet and his stuff was just so bad… I don’t get it. Not saying my stuff is great or even good. But it’s so random and frustrating what gets attention and what gets published. Same as it’s ever been, I suppose.

Notwithstanding all this whining, there are still lots of good things in my life, just not any good writing news is all. Idk if I want to continue toiling away during my free time finishing all the OCD items on my writing to-do list just to keep seeing a flat line on my sales reports. I could just… stop.

I don’t mean stop blogging. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have loads of writing in progress. Romance novels in various stages of completion. A murder mystery love story half-done. Stories for anthologies. Finished books I want to edit again. It’s ridiculous.

Happy September. 🐱

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

The Daily Four ~ 08/26/19

Shamrock

From Rory’s Question Fun Directory

Welcome to The Daily Four!

Today’s Questions to the Readers are….

What was the worst thing you did as a child?

I got a C in penmanship when I was 10. It made my mom angry and she in turn created my OCD monster, or lured it out. Lots of unfortunate things resulted from this event.

Growing up, what was your ideal dream job and did you bring that to a reality at all?

I had various dreams at various times: scientist, writer, journalist, etc. But I didn’t pursue any of them seriously.

What were the things you both liked and hated about your schooling?

I loved the educational parts of school: reading, writing, even tests (because I was good at them). I hated anything to do with gym or sports or forced social interaction, like Valentine exchanges.

Where there is a will, there is a way! Do you agree?

Somewhat. Forex, I could never be a ballet dancer because I don’t have the innate talent, but if that’s something I loved, I could have been part of that world in some other way, such as a set designer. (Just using this as an example; I don’t care about ballet!)

I think, when we’re younger, we tend to work harder at relationships. Maybe they don’t seem like “work” then. We’re not so inflexible and intolerant about so many things. We decide to be friends or to be in a romance or to pursue a career goal, and we will it to work, whether it’s long-distance or in another culture or whatever. We shrug at hardships and “odds” of failure. Pffft! Failure! We’ll be the special, stand-out case.

But then life happens and most of us non-delusional people (key phrase) come to understand that we aren’t that special. We’ve failed at things we were positive couldn’t go wrong. We’ve been rejected for jobs we snootily assumed we were too good for. We’ve been dumped by dates who weren’t even as smart and cute as we were. Geez!

We start recalculating those odds of failure. We start to understand rejection is the norm whenever we send in a query letter. We start assuming that the next coffee meet is likely not going to be our soul mate. We quit going outside our comfort zone, since even things inside it aren’t sure bets.

What’s sadly ironic is that when we’re young and more inclined to plow ahead with sheer “will,” we probably have less experience and talent to get our “way.” Later when we have experience, talent, knowledge, etc., we have less will to try because of past failures weighing us down, so we just la la around and say meh why bother? I won’t get my way.

I’m sure Rory didn’t want all this gobble goop, but like whatever.

The Daily Four

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Things Nobody Cares About

Fox

Giving a fox…

1. I don’t get Linda’s initial SOCS posts in my Friday feed and yesterday was no exception. I saw someone else’s and the word “preposition,” grabbed the link, and wrote my story without reading the directions. Then I linked it and here we are.

2. I realize I’m making things worse by explaining, but (a) my OCD compels me to, and (b) I don’t understand why I never see the initial posts. Obviously I follow Linda and see her other posts. Sometimes I even see the SOCS post, but much later.

3. After Ashley said we should add alt text to our photos, I went back to the beginning of time (March 2011) and started doing it. Then I realized this made the posts repost in the feed and on twitter. Ack!

4. Now I have a few posts from 2011 with alt text in the photos and new posts with alt text, but a gabillion posts in between with no alt text. Inconsistent! This is giving me nightmares. This morning I woke up at 4:30 after dreaming about a picture of a half-finished flower from my Happy Color app that I wanted to delete but was locked out from my blog. Locked out!

5. Unfortunately I decided to look at my blog on my laptop, and now I’m unhappy. I don’t like the double-spaced poetry. It was already bothering me because of Mathew, and he’s right. Poetry shouldn’t look like that. Also, things I’ve been quoting are all screwed up, even when I deliberately paste them in “unformatted.”

6. Unformatted is a lie! I just tested it a few times. All lies. The formatting sneaks back in and screws things up. What you have to do is go to html view and then paste. Never paste in visual mode. For tomorrow’s song lyrics, I pasted my quoted lyrics in the html view and then italicized them. The post looks much better in the preview than that ugly block quote.

7. Also, fyi, if you paste a YouTube video link right under a block quote in visual mode, it can get screwed up too and only show as a link, not as a preview of the vid. So annoying! But it doesn’t do that if you do the html thingie that I just described and nobody read.

8. I have to have 8 things.

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.