Category Archives: OCDoodles

A Radical Idea [rant!]

I’m not poasting a song for the Sunday lyrics challenge because the internet is entirely too messy and out of control, especially YouTube. It’s disgusting and disgraceful. If I were in charge, I’d burn the whole thing down and start over, making sure everything got filed away in its proper place. I know that’s a radical idea, but honestly there’s no other answer at this point. YouTube in particular is absolutely horrible, as I’ve noted previously. But even google searches are now cumbersome and inaccurate.

It’s difficult to look for song lyrics unless you know the exact line and can put it into quotes or if the song is relatively new. This didn’t use to be the case, but the internet is full of so much trash now and it’s not algorithmed correctly for sorting out. I shouldn’t get separate hits for the same answer ~ forex, if I search for hotel songs, all instances of Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel” should be grouped under ONE subheading with further filtering available if I click that. Same with “Hotel California” by the Eagles. Etc. People shouldn’t be allowed to shovel every possible keyword into their coding so their sites come up in irrelevant searches. 😡

Anyway, my search for search (today’s prompt) led nowhere except to people asking how to search their history for songs they previously searched for. 🙄 I almost went with the Chi-Lites “Have You Seen Her,” even though they never say search, because it’s in the concept, and I was gonna discuss how that concept is meaningful to me, except I’d really have to disregard most of the lyrics to make that point, so pffft. Someone already took U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” which resonates strongly with many issues in my life, and I might have used it too, but when I read the lyrics, they struck me as religious and annoyed me.

Then inspiration hit. I’ll use “Looking For Love (in all the wrong places)!” That’s a good song and totally applies to me. But the videos sucked. I recently bought the DVD (for cheap) and rewatched Urban Cowboy, remembering it as a super sweet romance from way back. But it’s not! It’s awful. I did not want the Urban Cowboy vid here. (LFL is the theme song.) The other selections were terrible. I figured okay I bet someone has made a great parody of this song, so I’ll YouTube search for that instead. Nope. All garbage. Pervy aminals. Dopey karaoke. Cheech & Chong. Wtfff? I give up. 🤯

Burn it down, I say. Begin again.

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Me? Weird??

The what-if prompt is weird things to eat and honestly I don’t think I eat anything weird! But here’s the actual weird thing: other people have often commented on my “weird” eating habits.

1. I’ve gone through many vegetarian phases, which lots of meat eaters find odd. Not sure why it’s strange to prefer a yummy baked potato and veggies over a hunk of rotting flesh, but whatevs. I’m not vegetarian at the moment and have enjoyed a few steak meals this year. Mmm dead cow.

2. With rare exceptions, I don’t like soup unless I’m sick. It’s just so salty and boring. Every bite tastes the same. Spoon after spoon after spoon. Yawnnnn.

3. I used to eat cottage cheese and salsa, and there is literally nothing strange about this when people always have cheese and/or sour cream with salsa in their tacos and burritos. But since no one thinks of cottage cheese as part of a Mexican dish, it’s me being “weird.” Um no. It’s me being innovative, hello. But I don’t eat this now because salsa = heartburn. Aging, bah.

4. I often save dessert for breakfast. Here’s the thing. Dessert is yummy, but it has the calories of an entire meal and I don’t want to eat an entire meal after I’ve eaten a meal. It’s not enjoyable. So, why not take it home and enjoy it the next day when I’m hungry again? Why is this weird? It’s not!

5. As I’ve said, I don’t like grapefruit or oranges. Apparently everyone else does. Goody, more for you!

6. I eat peanut butter on a spoon for a snack. Preferably creamy PB, but I will eat crunchy if that’s all there is. Again, I see nothing weird about this. I have gradually begun to appreciate a drop of honey on my PB ~ better than a c00kie! ~ though this is best done over the sink.

7. I love love love avocados 🥑! Mere words cannot do justice to their deliciousness. I can eat a whole one with salt & pepper sometimes for dinner with nothing else and be perfectly satisfied. I do admit this is probably out of the ordinary.

8. Unlike our gobblement, I’m not conflicted about eggs. I love them and they love me, no changing my mind every damn year. Now that I’m not eating so much bread, I’m making nomlettes more often, usually with cheese unless I forget to buy cheese. Sometimes I’ll make scrambled or poached eggs and veggies. Other times I’ll make hard-boiled eggs to bring to work with salad stuffs.

Obviously there’s nothing weird about liking eggs, but invariably there will be some troll who will say oh well if you are sad about the way cute cuddly animals are treated, what about poor egg-laying chickens? It’s true I wish all animals were treated better, and my heart ❤️ goes out to all the creatures, even the ones I eat, but [excuses]. The great thing about WordPress is the troll blocking feature, I always say. 😀

Happy weekend nomz!

Regarding That Staple Thing…

While it’s true I got tired of Monk, the show, I still think about Monk, the character, and some of his… eccentricities. Fans may recall the episode where he interviewed people for the position of his new assistant after Sharona ditched him. Monk appeared negatively disposed toward one of the candidates because she had stapled her application at an angle. I too value a perfectly put together presentation. It shows not merely attention to aesthetics but also respect for the interviewer/prospective employer. Why would you want to hand your future boss a sloppy project?

So, let’s discuss stapling because it’s important. As a secretary, I deal with a lot of staples, and this is a subject I think about frequently. (Though I think about those colored plastic clips more often.) A long time ago I decided that due to the difficulty of getting a staple exactly parallel to the edge of the paper, it was better to deliberately position it at a jaunty angle. Nothing dramatic and crazy, not 45 degrees for heaven’s sake. The crucial point is it must be jaunty. You don’t want the staple to look like a failed parallel. Omg, horrible.

I experimented today by trying to staple parallel. I began with a dismal 20% success rate, which increased to about 40% by the end of the day. That’s unacceptable! And I did not remove the staple for a do-over because that mars the document. I simply lived with the parallel fails, unlike Monk, because I actually had to get a day’s work done. In the magical world of TV writing, no one ever seems to need to earn money.

Alrighty then. I think we’re clear here. By the way, you know I’m talking about normal staples, right? Heavy duty staples must be parallel obviously. 🙄

Peanut Butter

I stole these 26 questions from Fandango, who snagged them from Barbara, at Teleportingweena. But I have an issue with 26 (yes, including our alphabet, annoying). Twenty-five is a great number, and oddly enough (hehe) so is 27. But 26? Meh! I guess I can think of it as 13×2 and be okay that way. That’s what I’ll do then: renumber the questions halfway through.

1. Share your profile picture.

– Which profile? Here’s one from last year, taken at the happiest place on earth.

2. Who are you named after?

– Paula Abdul.

3. Do you like your handwriting?

– Like Fandango, I used to have great handwriting, but now that I’ve gotten older, it sucks.

4. What’s your favorite lunchmeat?

– Peanut butter.

5. Longest relationship?

– I had a good relationship with my dad from the day I was born until he died in 2013 just before I turned 52.

6. Do you still have your tonsils?

– Nope.

7. Would you bungee jump?

– NFW!

8. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

– Sometimes.

9. Favorite ice-cream?

– Coconut chocolate chip.

10. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

– That they’re too close to me.

11. Football or baseball?

– Neither.

12. What color pants are you wearing?

– White lounge pants with grey and pink flowers.

13. Last thing you ate?

– Peanut butter on a banana.

1. If you were a crayon what color would you be?

– Ultraviolet, baby.

2. Favorite smell?

– Cinnanommmm.

3. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

– One of the partners at work.

4. Hair color?

– Light brown plus some silver.

5. Eye color?

– Hazel (this feels like filling out a dating profile now).

6. Favorite food to eat?

– Seafood pasta.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

– Romantic comedies with happy endings.

8. Last movie you watched?

– I rewatched American Gigolo a few days back because it came up on Prime. Saw it over 30 years ago and liked it a lot. Didn’t like it that much this time. I didn’t sense any chemistry between the leads; it was just trashy and sad.

9. Favorite holiday?

– Loved Fandango’s answer, but I’ll go with New Year’s Day.

10. Beer or wine?

– Neither. Alcohol triggers migraines.

11. Favorite day of the week?

– Sunday.

12. Three or (four) favorite bloggers you want to learn more about?

– Anyone who plays along.

13. Added info you didn’t know you wanted.

Buy my books!

Escapist Coloring Club

Welp… I am being presumptuous. They may ban me from the ECC with my first entry. But it was relaxing…

Here’s The Thing…

I get bored easily. And while I would say my bar for suspension of disbelief is relatively generous, it definitely exists, and once it snaps, we’re done. Last night, I finished S5 of Monk and then watched the final two eps of S8. I just couldn’t take any more of the preposterous plots. (Not that the finale itself wasn’t beyond absurd.)

While I liked the Natalie assistant more than the Sharona assistant, I think the shows were better with Sharona. Idk if this was due to the acting talents of Bitty Schram or the fact that the writing was fresher overall, but regardless that’s my opinion. Sharona sometimes annoyed me, it’s true, and Natalie didn’t, but maybe that’s simply because Natalie was so much blander. I also thought the Captain’s divorce was a cheap writing device. Like damn we’re running out of ideas… we gotta get someone pregnant or divorced. Sorry Leland, your wife’s gotta go. They didn’t even bother coming up with a reason! The reason was he “didn’t know why” she was filing. Dumb.

I’m sad though, since I love Monk, the protag, and I thought the first two seasons were fab. He deserved every episode to be great, not stupid like getting amnesia (another cheap device) and ending up in Wyoming or that absolutely idiotic one with the shock jock and the dog. Omg and that ridiculous thing with the excon befriending him just to steal a postcard out of his mail. That may have been the worst.

I’ll miss my brief fling with this show. While I’m nowhere near the Monk level of OCD, I found much to relate to and smile about.

Teal, Aqua, Seafoam, Turquoise [CFFC]

Welcome to another one of Cee’s fun foto challenges! This challenge is in the color series, and since it happens to focus on my fave section of the wheel, I have quite a few pics to choose from.

Cousins at a teal table, Scarsdale NY, 1996.

Jellies in aqua, Aquarium of the Pacific, Long Beach CA, 2016.

Seafoam in here somewhere, Crystal Cove, Newport Beach CA, 2016.

Car selfie 2015, turquoise sweater, turquoise necklace ~ two for Tuesday!

Plz note crooked glasses, proving I’m not totally OCD or I couldn’t have kept this pic. In fact, the entire photo is slanted and off-center, but not artistically, which isn’t bugging me at all, nopey nope. Will not give it another thought…

Monk(ey) Business [SOSC]

The otter week a couple friends and I began talking about how much we like the show Mrs. Maisel, and specifically we mentioned the father’s character, played by Tony Shalhoub. That reminded me I’d never seen Monk, which he stars in. I always meant to, and Prime has it, but you know… busy organizing socks. Anyway, I started it and am now almost done with S3. I plan to watch all of it (why not?), five seasons or so, except I will take a break soon for a Mission Impossible marathon, since I just bought the first five DVDs, and I’ve never seen any of those movies.

I love the character of Adrian Monk, and some of the supporting side chars are great too (the cops), but I don’t love the show. Does that make sense? Well, it doesn’t have to, pffft. This is stream of consciousness Saturday, and my stream has a lotta meanders in it. Not to mention rocks. And slimy toads on lilypads. Rebbit! God, my phone’s spellcheck is so annoying! What’s wrong with lilypad and rebbit? What was I even talking about anyway? Oh, Monk.

People think I’ll relate to him because of certain OCD tendencies I have, but really mine are nothing compared to real OCD. I do notice things being crooked, out of place, off-center, etc. and that bothers me somewhat, but whatever. In my own personal environment, I strive to keep things neat and clean, matched, aligned, organized, etc., but I’m not a maniac about it. My apartment right now has zillions of imperfect areas. And I don’t bother fixing them. Because eh. Endless. I never touch other people’s stuff, a la Monk, to align it. I’m also not a huge germaphobe like he is. I mean, I’m aware of ucky stuff everywhere, but yet I live a normal life and even have a pet. I touch public bathroom doors without using a paper towel. Yikes.

I could never be a cop ~ I don’t notice details about people, not relevant ones anyway. I might notice something like a woman’s part was really crooked, and the color of her hair, but I’ll fail to remember what she was wearing or anything she said. Or I might remember something really witty a man said but nothing about how he looked. It varies hugely. And I never notice people’s cars, unless they’re BMWs, at which point I will make all sorts of negative assumptions about their character even though I know some BMW drivers are good people. Well, I know of one.

One thing I enjoy about Monk, the show, is that it does progress, albeit glacially. After almost three seasons, Monk has cleaned out the office that belonged to his wife who died like 10 years ago. I’m happy to see that there is hope for him to be “normal” once again. He always had the eidetic memory apparently, but he seemed to be able to enjoy a loving relationship with his wife and a successful career as a detective. One thing I could relate to was his inability to retake the test to get his old job back a few shows ago. He kept erasing the first answer to fill in the box more perfectly and ran out of time. I can imagine doing something like this under extreme stress/anxiety. Which is a weird thing for me to say because test-taking is (was) my forte, but as I age I find it is not true so much and I get freaked out at the idea of tests or anything timed. Even timed games can upset me, especially if there are sounds.

My hypothesis is that when I was younger all these things like tests and dating and rollercoasters etc. which gave me an adrenaline rush were “fun” simply due to some physical chemical reaction, but that reaction occurs differently now because my aging brain processes the chemicals differently, and what was once perceived as yay-stress is now interpreted as boo-stress. (Sorry to get so technical with scientific jargon like yay and boo.)

One of the things I dislike about Monk, the show, is the samey sameness of the plots. They’re ridiculous. And as Monk’s new assistant points out: he’s like the Prince of Darkness. He witnesses a murder, so they have to be sequestered at a cabin in the woods until the trial, which led to some funnies with his OCD, but then naturally there’s yet another murder at the next cabin over. There’s always something like this every time. But since I like Monk, the character, I keep the show on at home in the background… whenever I pay attention again, I don’t feel I’ve missed much. So, in a way, the bug has turned into a feature.

I am starting to like background noise again. My own thoughts are too loud and that was the problem with writing in dead silence night after night weekend after weekend… Paula’s Yelly Brain. I’ll need a new show once Monk is done though. I’m starting to have slight anxiety about what to replace it with ~ it needs to be like Monk, engrossing but not too heavy. I have to be able to fall asleep in the middle of one ep and begin the next one later without a loss of anything important. It can’t be a show full of loads of character development or anything like that. A crime show would be good, I guess, where the crimes don’t really matter because you’re tuning in to see the same main characters behave the same ways every time. Or a comedy, if it’s not too stupid.

Ideas?

Stats up the WaZOO

I can’t keep pace with many of the new bloggers I’ve discovered this year, but even though I don’t match their prodigious daily output, I’m certainly happy to have them in my feed. Such a fab variety of creative writings and so many diverse POVs! Love that. Lots of these peeps talk about their stats and I don’t pay much attention to mine, except to occasionally whine that no one has bought any of my books lately so why do I even bother yada then I get over it.

This morning I decided to check my actual bloggeroo stats and I took screenshots so I could share. I figured hey now what would my blogfans like to do on a nice weekend… beach, BBQ, hike, bike, garden… ? Nahhh. They’ll wanna peruse my stats.

First, not counting this poast, I have a grand total of 519 poasted poasts since I began this blog on March 25, 2011 with a cupcake. I have deleted a lot of poasts, mostly complaints about dating sites/men because I thought, ha ha, I might meet a new man, and I wouldn’t want him to see all that bitching, since of course he’d read my blog cover to cover yet wouldn’t know a thing about the Wayback Machine: Dating Logic 🙄. Thank gawd that’s over. There are months of little to no activity when I was busy moving or getting divorced. I also used to spend much of my free social media time on Facebook, but I quit there this March because #facebooksucks. Since then, I’ve been blogging much more, yayyy.

Second, I have 1,045 total comments, as follows.

Many bloggers have a higher hit ratio of likes, but I am pleased with this.

My most commented-on poast, by far, remains The Duke vs. the Secretary (which is also my most-viewed poast, natch), from way back in June 2011.

Third, commenters. This, my friends, is where things may get a little bit hairy. Are you ready for some drama? Buckle up! Year after year, when I poast the stats WordPress gives me on their Happy New Year’s card, Roy wins top commenter. It’s just the Way Things Are. But right now, in the doldrums of August, lil Miss PJ has snuck up on Roy and edged him out of the top spot! ZOMG!

(By “top” I mean second, obviously. I’m always Numero Uno.)

Don’t panic, Roy! There’s still enough time before the end of the year for you to regain your title. Hell, it’s anyone’s game really. Just comment your hearts 💕 out, folks! It’s not too late!

Btw, I think it’s only fair to mention that Stan was my very first commenter, back on the cupcake poast we discussed several paras ago. You’re all still with me, right? Good. There may be a quiz after.

Finally, I will finish up with the observation that my topics of noodling, fun, and whatever have the most views, which are basically the topics about nothing. Give the people what they want, I always say.

Actually I never say that. I simply enjoy going on and on and on about absolutely nothing. And I would keep doing it even sans validation. But validation is a lovely thing. See? Kbai. More later!

PS: Forgot to mention that I’m following 510 blogs (this constantly increases), and have 333 WordPress followers. I have other followers not on WP ~ email, twitter, and just regular peeps. Love you all, mwah! Kbai for reals.

Pinch Punch…

…First of the Month!

One of my OCD ideas is that the first day of a new month is the best time to reaffirm good intentions to do the right things. That lasts about an hour. J/k. But seriously, I generally think day one of a month is a time for introspection and the renewal of worthy goals, or the discard of unworthy ones.

Now, before y’all start to congratulate me on my awesomeness, I’m talking about goals like keeping my kitchen table free from clutter and trying to eat more fresh veggies. Nothing earth-shattering is gonna happen on my watch.

Happy August! 😎