Category Archives: Nutrition

Just Breathe [socs]

Instructions for optimal health, according to the experts. 😀

1. “Throw out this vegetable now!” Which one? You’ll have to watch a 47-hour video to discover the answer.

2. Eat like a caveman: meat, berries, nuts, roots, etc. 🍇

3. Remember that cavemen died at age 27, max, so don’t eat like a caveman. 💀

4. Eat only one meal a day, so your liver has time to detox between feedings.

5. No, what you need to do is graze all day long like a cow, mooooooo. 🐄

6. Speaking of, give up dairy, unless you’re a baby cow. 🍼

7. No, dairy is fine, as long as it’s nonfat.

8. Wrong! Fat is fine; sugar is the new evil.

9. Sugar and carbs, honey. You should be getting all your nutrients from the air. 🌈

10. Btw, you’re breathing all wrong. Send us money and we’ll show you why… 💰

In Other Words, potluck…

I don’t really care for the potluck;

Eating blobs and globs of mystery dishes is just not my style.

As with a buffet, I tend to eat too much, which makes me feel yuck.

I’d rather eat home or order for one and be done.

But others like ’em, so I sigh and go along with a smile.

🙄😛🙂

One-Line Wednesday

I’ve said it before, but some things are worth repeating, especially when you have delicious leftover red velvet cake in the fridge. “Life is short; eat dessert first.” ❤️

Now, here’s a dieting secret. Obviously the most intelligent thing to do with leftover cake is toss it right in the trash. But even I don’t have that much willpower. The second best option is to eat it immediately. You know you’re going to give in and have some, so why waste calories on other foods? Just eat the cake already! I had mine for breakfast and it was scrumptious. 🙂

Here’s a great old song that reflects my feelings about temptations… 🎶

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

Street Smart Cats

I don’t know why there’s been an ongoing debate over whether cats are smarter than dogs when clearly they’re so different. Why compare? But for sure cats understand a lot more words than they let on.

I used to occasionally feed the couple stray black cats that lurked around our parking lot. I put my food near another car where this other woman fed them. She had a bunch of food dishes out. Eventually she moved and the dishes disappeared. I didn’t see the cats much and figured either they found a new source of food or it had found them.

Monday night one appeared as I exited my car after work. Ohai! I decided to give him a can of the food Gatsby had rejected and brought it downstairs on a paper plate. But by that time kitty had vanished. I began talking into the air. “Hey kitty! I have some food here! And I’m putting it in the corner near my car, not in the other place where I used to put it near the other car.”

I figured eh, lost cause, food will sit there uneaten, and I went to get the mail. Three minutes later, both black cats were eating it.

Last night they were both waiting for me. Luckily, I have a lot of food up here. Gatsby will now only eat pure organic chicken/pea crunchy bits. I have loads of other stuff he abruptly quit eating when his tummy got upset the other week. The stray cats will eat all of whatever I put out.

~*~

One-Liner Wednesday

Celery [SOCS]

Celery contained magical anti-calories, people thought. If you chomped on these stalks, the energy you expended chewing and digesting them would exceed the number of calories in the celery itself. So, all you had to do is eat celery all day and soon you would be celebrating your new trim and fit figure!

But of course if you kept eating pizza and nachos and milkshakes and candy bars with your stalks, the celery diet didn’t work, and you did not end up looking like your favorite celebrity, unless that celeb was President Taft. 😳

Many crazy diets have come and gone since I read about the magic of celery as a teen. Some girls in my high school went on the 3-3-3 diet: 3 bananas, 3 hot dogs, 3 carrots every day. Very phallic. Why doesn’t my phone know phallic? I must not be writing about enough dicks; I blame my DEXIT.

People have jumped on this keto thing, but we all did the Atkins’ fad way back when. It’s nothing new. We’d order bacon double cheeseburgers and throw away the buns, hon. Sure, you’d lose weight because meat is satisfying and pasta is not, ounce for ounce. Sorry, vegetarians. Also, how much cheese can you eat without barfing? 🤮That is rhetorical.

Then came the 1980s when people decided fat was bad and carbs were good. They threw away their butter and chowed down on bagels the size of dinner plates. Why are we getting so fat, they moaned over their vats of spaghetti.

In the 1990s, I watched other moms load up their kids with constant snacks and juices. I tried not to do that; I had my own ideas about nutrition. But kids grow up and have to make their own choices eventually. I did not like to be Dictator Mom, about food or any other thing, except education, and that philosophy worked out well imo.

One of the things now is to shun prepared foods. Oh, that’s the new boogeyman! 🙄 It’s not that we’ve all been stuffing our faces with way too much food for way too long… it’s that we’re not tra-la-la-ing for hours through farmers’ markets every Saturday for fresh produce, and then spending the rest of the weekend cooking from scratch. The heck with writing books or having hobbies! We’re fat because we haven’t been slaving over a hot stove.

Bullshit. I call BS on all ideas of overweight except one: too many calories nommed up. I don’t care if they come from salad or salami or pasta or papayas. Too many in over time leads to fat layers on our bodies. There’s no magic cure except to eat fewer calories over time.

Personally, I love packaged and prepared foods. For single people who don’t want to buy wastefully in bulk, and who don’t want to spend their free time cooking, they are fabulous. But so is celery ~ and it comes in a package too.

Texture [CFFC]

Can you imagine the flaky texture of the coconut mingled with the sugary glazed soft yeasty donutty goodness in every bite? Mmm, this is definitely my favorite kind of donut, which I used to buy every Friday at the café in my office building, but they no longer have them. Probably a good thing, since now I just eat a Clif bar, same as I do every other morning. Rah, boring healthy things. If any nutritionists are reading, they will proceed to lecture me on how a Clif bar isn’t really healthy because it has too many carbs and we all should be eating egg whites, kale, and grapefruit for breakfast. 🤮

When my eldest and I visited Portland, OR, I had a brief flirtation with the gourmet donut phenomenon. They are tasty. We have a gourmet donut shop in Costa Mesa called Sidecar or something and I tried it. Yummy. But eventually I returned to the cheap, coconut donuts I’ve always loved. Runner-up is cinnamon crunch, which is not a plain donut dusted with cinnamon. God no. It’s a glazed donut with crunchy cinnamon nummies all over it that will crumble over your clothing and car, should you be silly enough to try to eat one while driving. I think Dunkin’ used to have them at the train station in Chicago, or else I’ve hallucinated the entire experience. I am getting old, and I’m entitled to my donut fantasies, TYVM. 💖

FPQ13: Size Matters

Fandango sez…

“This week’s provocative question asks an age old question that has stumped philosophers across the ages. Interpret this question any way you want.

“Do you believe that size matters? Please explain your response.”

Of course size matters! Please click away from this post if reading something not politically correct will bother you. In fact, I’m kinda done being PC from here on out altogether. YHBW.

Size matters in all kinds of ways. Let’s take people (Americans, specifically): they’re getting much too large aka fat. I’m not talking about what is pleasing to me aesthetically because that’s irrelevant ~ I’m talking health. Our lifespan is declining and health problems are increasing, in part, because people are obese (and so are their beloved pets). Morbidly obese. Size matters.

Going along with this is portion size and total daily caloric input. If you haven’t noticed, it’s been increasing. Bagels are enormous. Cookies are huge. Burgers are double doubles. Drinks are supersized, extra large, or grande. Children don’t go an hour without a snack of some kind. We are not cows! We don’t need to “graze.” We now have a fourth meal if we stay up late. Just cuz we apparently need an extra thousand calories of energy to sit on our butts and play games.

Manufacturers have been adjusting their size charts for decades to keep pace with our flabby selves because they know we will get depressed to see we need a larger size and then not want to spend money.

Forex, I’m still a 4, but the 4 is not a 4. Ooh, what dark magic is this?! I’ll tell you. Over the years, they’ve been slowly increasing the size of the female form that can fit into a 4. I used to be a skinny 4; now I’m (what I consider) a slim to medium 4. Like most women, I’ve gained some weight, though not a lot, in the past 40 years. Yet… still a 4!

Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. People like to crow about this, as if she was some sort of example of a “thick” woman with extra curves. She wasn’t. She was a perfectly proportioned woman with a 36-24-36 body and would wear a size 2 or 4 now. A size 12 today is vastly different from the one MM wore. Size matters!

There are lots of other examples of size making a difference. How about housing? Do you want a studio apartment or a 3000 square foot house? I’d say size matters as far as paychecks, savings accounts, 401K plans, raises, bonuses, taxes, etc. What about pets? Do you want a vicious 10 pound kitty or a sweet 50 pound golden retriever? Size again!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re waiting for me to talk about the other thing. Especially if you’re a man, since that’s all you ever care about. Fine, I’ll talk about your stupid vehicles. I fucking hate giant SUVs. There I said it. Buy normal cars.

Making the Eight

Who knows this Game of Thrones reference? 😀

I’ve been tagged by Jim to answer these 8 questions and so I shall.

1. Name a moment in your life when you felt you were most courageous.

– When I chased the car that hit me in 2016, off the freeway, down deserted streets, after midnight, like a freaking idiot. Thank God he lost me. What in hell did I think I was gonna do if he stopped? He was probably armed!

2. If you had to choose only one breakfast cereal for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

– Instant Quaker oatmeal, maple flavor.

3. When have you felt the most scared?

– See no. 1.

4. If you could sing like any musical artist, who would you choose?

– Rosanne Cash.

5. Do you collect anything?

– Not now, no space.

6. If you could live inside a TV show or movie, what would it be?

You’ve Got Mail.

7. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? If so, what was it?

– I used to dream for years about drowning, near- drowning, houses flooding so I’d have to escape to the roof, warning people that water was coming up to the windows and no one would listen, etc. My ex-husband said these dreams were because my mother was so hovering, but they stopped the day he left, so idk.

8. What’s your Zodiac sign?

♉️

QoQ

Haven’t done a pile of questions in a few days and these are about one of my fave topics… food!

Today’s questions:

1. What is your favorite chocolate dessert?

– Here’s (yet another) weird thing about me. I love chocolate in its pure form, like a delicious truffle, but not that much in cake or ice cream ~ though I do love choc chip cookies. I have a favorite brownie, which is like candy, in that its from the Ghirardelli mix with extra fudgy wudgy gooeyness. But only that brownie.

2. Where do you go first in the grocery store?

– Produce

3. You win three minutes of free shopping in the grocery store with an empty cart…what do you fill it with?

– All the books

4. What is your favorite fruit and how do you like to eat it?

– Mango, dripping over the sink like a barbarian

5. You go to a magic cafe where plates fill with whatever you request…what do you get?

– Seafood pasta

6. How do you like your fish?

– COOKED

7. Do you eat jello (what is your favorite flavor)?

– Meh

8. What is the most, ahem, “adult” food you can think of?

– Grape Nuts 😝

9. What food do you eat that might put you in the “old” age?

– Salad?

10. Mall food courts…yes, no, where do you eat?

– Barf, those places are disgusting. Panda Express! 😂

Ask someone else… [SOCS]

Canola oil was en vogue for a while; now it’s bad. I forgot why it was bad so I looked it up… GMO blah de blah. That’s allowed cuz I checked before I began writing, did not break my SOC to google. My darling daughter gave me “canola” when I asked for a prompt… of course she couldn’t have given me something good like butterfly 🦋 or cupcake 🧁.

Anyway back to canola. So, I switched from olive to canola then to coconut 🥥 cuz that was the thing but now the nutritionists are freaking out about coconut again like they do once a decade or so… I remember giving up granola bars for a while in the 1970s cuz they said one more tsp of coconut oil was surely going to give me a stroke. Never really went back to granola in a major way though cuz even after the coconut freakout died down the dentists were all shrieking that granola was worse than candy so might as well just eat a Snickers and it’s cheaper besides.

Not that I eat much candy 🍫 these days either. I blogged about how I broke my Snickers habit and when I ate one months later it didn’t even taste that good anymore. Maybe I’ve finally developed an adult palate? Nah! Still love mac&cheese. Still love c00kies.

Just to clarify… of course I still have olive oil for things that aren’t desserts, should I ever make any. You peeps will be the first to know, rest assured. Who else would I tell? But I don’t cook much… it’s expensive and wasteful to cook for one person unless you are okay with eating one dish for a week.

Btw, my friend Cathy and I made c00kies last weekend with half real butter and half coconut oil and not only were the c00kies incredibly delicious but we ate lots and did not die. We will obviously, someday, but probably not from c00kies. Not that that’s a bad way to go. Mmm c00kies…

Next time pics!

~*~

SOCS prompt from Linda