Category Archives: Nutrition

Scary Shary [SYW]

Here are Melanie’s “Share Your World” 10-15-18 Questions:

What’s the biggest screw up in the kitchen that you were responsible for?

– I tried to open a bottle with a serrated knife before work and almost sliced my finger off. Went to work with a makeshift bandage that kept getting blood-soaked and they sent me to the doctor, where I got stitches. 😒

What, in your opinion, makes people believe absurd conspiracy theories?

– Fear. People are scared of the unknown, of things they can’t control ~ natural disasters, crime, death, etc. ~ so they latch onto comforting explanations. Without this comfort, many people would not be able to function because life is fucking terrifying. And for the atheists who like to mock those who believe in the supernatural, I have news for you: you also believe in bullshit, just different bullshit. Consider this. At any moment, you could die and die horribly, but you don’t think about that because you wouldn’t be able to get through the day. And what’s more, every time you leave the house, you trust that crazy medicated (or unmedicated!) other humans in their monster vehicles are going to obey the traffic laws. These are the same people who believe in gods and ghosts and angels and aliens. But you believe they’ll stop at the red lights. That’s nuts! But you believe it or you couldn’t leave the house.

In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?

– Trump. Yeah, he was an absolutely disgusting horrible racist misogynistic pig, but at least he was human and now we have these AI overlords and glrkk–(end transmission)

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

– No, a hot dog is a bunch of garbage scraps of meat byproducts scraped together from the slaughterhouse floor and fake colored pink. Perhaps you’re thinking of the hot dog bun? Again, not if it’s hinged together. A snadwich is two separate bread pieces with something in the middle. Like peanut butter and blackberry jam, which is much more delicious than yucky floor scrapings.

And finally:

What wonderful thing happened to you this week that you’d like to share?Β  It can be a gratitude moment or something that just made you feel very happy at the time or made you laugh.

– Well, I had a big mad at Amazon because I ordered cat food and tea last week that was scheduled for delivery yesterday and I was sitting right there in my apartment when I got an email that the delivery guy came and left since he didn’t have my gate code. Wtfff? My gate code is in my address on Amazon and so is my phone number! Why didn’t he call? Why can’t he read? I know it’s only cat food and tea, and it’s rescheduled for today, but I was livid. I feel that Prime’s quality has gone down as their prices have increased just like my internet provider Spectrum. So, I began a chat with Amazon at 11pm last night all irate and they were very sorry and are going to “strictly escalate” my order and yada yada plus give me five bucks. Yayyy!

Happy! Shopping again. πŸ™‚β­οΈπŸŽˆ

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Blue Sky

No, this isn’t about Breaking Bad or the ELO song. It’s a pile of questions I found here on an open tag game, and I’m just grabbing them without following the rules or using the banner cuz that’s how I roll. If any of the questions annoy me, I’ll delete them and possibly substitute my own. Then it’s your turn to play. Or else. πŸ”₯

~*~

1. What country have you never visited but would love to, and why?

– I want to visit England and see majestic old crumbly things like the Queen and have tea and cucumber snadwiches and browse in bookshops and hear men speak in sexy British accents all day (swoonsies).

2. What person in your life (not including family members) has most shaped who you are today?

– Probably my ex-husband of 21 years.

3. List three things that make you happy?

– Kitties, poetry, tea.

4. What’s your favorite genre to read?

– Romance.

5. What time period in history most intrigues you, and why?

– That time when whales walked on land and then went back into the ocean and lost their feets. I haz questions.

6. If you could add a new talent to your repertoire, what would it be, and why?

– Repertoire, lol. I would like to have a sense of direction, thx.

7. Where is your favorite place in the world, and why?

– Anywhere with both my daughters, all of us having a good time.

8. What animal best describes your personality, and why?

– Hermit crab. I like to be home alone, and I’m crabby.

9. What’s your favorite recipe (and please share it)?

– Tea and c00kies. You make some tea and get some c00kies from the c00kie package. Serve with a napkin. Hope that wasn’t too technical.

10. Hiking boots, sneakers, heels, or flip-flops?

– Eh? Cute boots or loafers. Occasional heels but not high ones. Sneakers for long walks. Long meaning over a mile. πŸ˜‚

11. Would you rather have tons of love and little wealth, or tons of wealth and little love?

– Wealth, tons of. Then watch the love roll in. I know how it works.

12. What’s your favorite flower? Any special reason?

– Yellow roses edged with pink. Also sunflowers and orchids. I love a super colorful bouquet πŸ’ most of all. No reason.

13. What word do you find annoying, and you hear it all the time?

– It starts with T.

14. What bends your mind every time you think about it?

– The first person who figured out how to make bread. It’s so freaking complicated with a bunch of steps and not something that would have happened by accident.

15. What is in your fridge right now?

– Bread, whale feets. The usual.

K, I’m done. Deleted the rest. Now you!

Things People Grow

Apart

Avocados

Blackberry hearts

~*~

For Cee’s photo challenge.

Me? Weird??

The what-if prompt is weird things to eat and honestly I don’t think I eat anything weird! But here’s the actual weird thing: other people have often commented on my “weird” eating habits.

1. I’ve gone through many vegetarian phases, which lots of meat eaters find odd. Not sure why it’s strange to prefer a yummy baked potato and veggies over a hunk of rotting flesh, but whatevs. I’m not vegetarian at the moment and have enjoyed a few steak meals this year. Mmm dead cow.

2. With rare exceptions, I don’t like soup unless I’m sick. It’s just so salty and boring. Every bite tastes the same. Spoon after spoon after spoon. Yawnnnn.

3. I used to eat cottage cheese and salsa, and there is literally nothing strange about this when people always have cheese and/or sour cream with salsa in their tacos and burritos. But since no one thinks of cottage cheese as part of a Mexican dish, it’s me being “weird.” Um no. It’s me being innovative, hello. But I don’t eat this now because salsa = heartburn. Aging, bah.

4. I often save dessert for breakfast. Here’s the thing. Dessert is yummy, but it has the calories of an entire meal and I don’t want to eat an entire meal after I’ve eaten a meal. It’s not enjoyable. So, why not take it home and enjoy it the next day when I’m hungry again? Why is this weird? It’s not!

5. As I’ve said, I don’t like grapefruit or oranges. Apparently everyone else does. Goody, more for you!

6. I eat peanut butter on a spoon for a snack. Preferably creamy PB, but I will eat crunchy if that’s all there is. Again, I see nothing weird about this. I have gradually begun to appreciate a drop of honey on my PB ~ better than a c00kie! ~ though this is best done over the sink.

7. I love love love avocados πŸ₯‘! Mere words cannot do justice to their deliciousness. I can eat a whole one with salt & pepper sometimes for dinner with nothing else and be perfectly satisfied. I do admit this is probably out of the ordinary.

8. Unlike our gobblement, I’m not conflicted about eggs. I love them and they love me, no changing my mind every damn year. Now that I’m not eating so much bread, I’m making nomlettes more often, usually with cheese unless I forget to buy cheese. Sometimes I’ll make scrambled or poached eggs and veggies. Other times I’ll make hard-boiled eggs to bring to work with salad stuffs.

Obviously there’s nothing weird about liking eggs, but invariably there will be some troll who will say oh well if you are sad about the way cute cuddly animals are treated, what about poor egg-laying chickens? It’s true I wish all animals were treated better, and my heart ❀️ goes out to all the creatures, even the ones I eat, but [excuses]. The great thing about WordPress is the troll blocking feature, I always say. πŸ˜€

Happy weekend nomz!

Boring Boring Things

This week’s challenge is mundane and I’m here for it.

Food: turkey, blaaah

Game: Quiddler, πŸ’€

Music: John Denver

Subject: sports, yawn

TV: most “comedy” yuk yuk

Photo:

Elvis the tortoise slooowly nomming kale…

Not A Feast Fan

Unlike most Americans, I don’t like Thanksgiving. I’m not talking about the traffic and travel hassles, though those are indeed irritating, but the feast itself. I personally see no reason to stuff myself with more food than I normally eat just because it’s the fourth Thursday in November. I mean, why? To celebrate what exactly? It’s nice having a 4-day weekend of course ~ I’ll celebrate that, if I don’t have to travel anywhere or overeat.

I also don’t like buffets and potlucks much for similar reasons. It’s really hard not to overeat, whatever your intentions. Part of that is because you don’t have standard servings of a couple things, but several tiny dollops, so it appears you’re taking only little bits of this and that, but you end up with more and more. Plus dishes at these events generally aren’t as tasty as a single item off the menu, so paradoxically you tend to try more of them, hoping in vain to be satisfied. (This can be a useful analogy for other things.)

Of course I understand my anti-feasting position sounds incredibly crabby, but it’s actually very logical. Many people have an emotional reaction to the mention of holidays because of family and traditions yada blah, but it’s really okay to question the things we’ve always done, and their specifics, and ask why we do them and if they are, in fact, a good thing. Well, I’ve always thought it was okay anyway. I have my own way of doing things.

I like to lead the examined life… I like to put the magnifying glass so close to the blade of grass I don’t even know wtf I’m looking at any longer.

Red, Red Mine [CFFC]

Today’s fun photo challenge is red, and even though I don’t have much clothing in the red range, I do have quite a few photos, mostly of food. Yes, I did archive all my Instagrams before closing my account, you lucky ducks. πŸ˜‚

One of my favorite meals: avocado and tomato, served simply with salt and pepper.

Red against azure, for a striking contrast.

My lucky rainbow sand-dude. Daughter1 made him for me when I began my current job 17 years ago, and he’s been on my desk at work ever since.

Life is just a bowl of strawberries, or something like that.

Gatsby guarding my sparkly red shoes.

Red velvet birthday cake, delicious!

Red velvet wine, so smooth. Alas, I’ve given all alcohol up because of migraines. πŸ™

Red taillights and an ironic personalized plate.

All About Orange

The fact that I have this photo in my blog media library gives me the idea I have written negatively about orange before. But instead of searching for that poast, and lazily efficiently reblogging it, I’ve already banged out a new one. Maybe next time I’ll remember to look for a pic before I start typing like a maniac. Who wants to bet on that?

Orange has never been a favorite color or flavor of mine. There are a few exceptions. Color-wise, I like a dash of bright orange with pink and yellow, lime and purple, for that crazy fruit bowl tropical look. Perfect for the muumuu you need on a cruise to cover up the 10 pounds you gain the first three days before the dysentery hits. And naturally orange is the appropriate base color for Halloween shirts, preferably with black cats, owls, and bats decorating a spooky crooked tree. Boo!

Food-wise, oranges suck. What is up with these things? All pulpy and seedy, with icky white strings you have to keep peeling off. Feh! Waaay too much work. I don’t mind some orange juice, sans pulp, if it’s mixed with mango juice, but that’s a lot of sugar. Did I mention I’m eating a lot less sugar now? Paula’s diet… always a fascinating topic, but we’ll leave that for another poast. As far as the actual taste of orange? Meh. It’s good in cake, I guess. But there’s that pesky sugar issue again! Same with Panda Express orange chicken (soooo sweet and yummy). Oh, here we go with the Panda Express haters piling on to tell me it’s not real Chinese food. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

Okay. Not gonna write a book rn. Bottom line: orange is pretty much last on my list, except for pretty flowers obviously, and it’s not because of you know who.

Migraine Mishmash

Around a week ago NewEpicAuthor asked if I know what causes my headaches and I didn’t reply in comments because the answer requires a whole poast… well, a whole book actually.

First, let’s begin with the debate over whether it’s acceptable to call migraines “headaches.” Frankly, my dears, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t believe it causes funding for migraine research to dry up if we say “goddamn I have a headache” instead of “Jeeves, I do believe the Grey Poupon has triggered a megrim. Please bring the bag of frozen blueberries to the quiet room at once. And for God’s sake, stop blinking so loudly.” There is a definition for migraine, but symptoms vary among sufferers.

(Nothing is going to cause migraine research to end, btw. It’s one of the hottest markets for new drugs because so many people suffer with this pain. It’s one of the highest causes of days absent from work.)

Second, I’m one of the “lucky” migraineurs in that, while I get chronic headaches, my pain generally is controllable. I’ve had many classic killer migraines, where I’ve vomited, had to lie down in a dark room, was totally non-functional for 24 hours, etc., but that’s been relatively rare, TG. Maybe I’ve had a couple dozen of these over the past 40 years, but most of mine can be calmed with the Rx medications, or even sometimes with extra-strength Excedrin, if I take it soon enough. About half the time they can’t be knocked completely out, but at least they can be managed down.

Third, so what causes these things? Let’s try to sort this out, lol. I have constant low-level neck pain from some injury (another complicated question) that sometimes gets worse and triggers head pain. My entire neck gets very stiff and hurty for whatever random reason and the pain radiates up, particularly on the right side. Or I will have sinus pain in my face, right side, that can trigger a migraine. (If I have throbbing on the left side, that can indicate a killer migraine is coming.) When I say “trigger,” I mean the original pain is left untreated and gets slowly worse until my temple/eye begins to throb and I feel nauseated. Light and sound start to bother me a lot. I begin to believe that everyone exists simply to annoy the hell out of me. More than usual.

I have done a zillion standard things to try to deal with the neck and sinus pain, except for acupuncture. I know this poast will encourage people to comment with wacko stuff I haven’t tried, and I will do my best not to get unreasonably irritated. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„ You mean well and I lurve you.

That was just the beginning of my trigger list, the neck and sinus pain. We can label those things “stuff outside Paula’s control.” Because they are, at least for now. Let’s toss weather in there too. Yes, weather is a big trigger. What kind of weather, you ask. Lol, I reply… all of it! Rain is bad, especially pre-rain when the air pressure goes wonky. Bright sun is bad, obviously. Heat is yuck and so is cold. Windy is the worst, all that dirt and debris swirling in my face. Don’t I sound like Monk? πŸ˜€

What is in my control? Avoiding alcohol, smoke, perfume and other flowery scents (but flowers themselves are fine until they mold, at which point they must be dumped immediately), Doritos and other cheesy chips, cheesy popcorn (cheese is fine, just not whatever “cheese” they put in these things), etc.; avoiding loud, crowded places; getting enough regular sleep; not eating too much salt; not eating too little salt!; getting enough protein; staying hydrated, which is oddly difficult; avoiding anxiety-provoking situations, etc.

Am I bound to get a migraine if I slip up and, say, play board games until 2AM and get only four hours sleep one night? Well, no. Here’s the thing (hehe). There’s no guarantee on anything in migraine land. Expect the unexpected. I can do everything perfectly, avoid all triggers ~ have no life basically ~ and still end up with a 3-day migraine that requires Rx meds so I can go to work. But some other time, I can slide a bit on sleep, have a few sips (ahem) of wine, eat potato chips, listen to loud music, and be fine. Yet, if I repeat that two weeks later, I might LITERALLY DIE. You just can’t know. Mostly I play it safe to avoid extra pain because who likes pain? Okay, not this kind of pain.

Also, I have tinnitus, and occasional BPPV (vertigo), which may not be related to the megrims, but it makes my head more annoying to live with. And I suspect it is related ~ why wouldn’t all the things that are wrong inside my head somehow connect to all the otter things that are wrong? We’re talking about a lot of things! Just because no one has figured it out yet doesn’t make it not so. And another thing (prepping for Columbo), why is there no otter emoji?

Hey, I warned you this wouldn’t be pithy.

Coffee Blues

I’m a bit vexed. Most workdays I enjoy a cup of coffee at my desk first thing in the morning. I usually buy it at the cafΓ© in my building or occasionally make it at home. Always use cream or milk and sometimes eat breakfast with it or before. None of that matters anymore ~ coffee in the morning is now always making me nauseated. I can haz tea with milk no problem, and maybe coffee later in the day (if I want to), but it’s annoying to have to change my habits because my tummy is getting fussy with age. Boo on aging!

Yes, I suppose it beats the alternative. πŸ™„

There was a time [cue mist machine and piano music] when I could drink multiple cups of black coffee on an empty stomach any time of the day or night. While smoking cigarettes. And wearing red lipstick, high heels, and a raincoat. And nothing else! Okay, I made some of that up.

But I could drink the coffee. That much is true. Oh well. I still have coffee ice cream. Sigh…