Category Archives: Noodling

Four Go RAWR

Shamrock

Welcome to The Daily Four!

Today’s Questions to the Readers are….

What are you truly passionate about?

Everything, just like everyone else! I go into raptures of ecstasy while tying my shoes! The smell of copy paper transports me into a cloud of bliss! When I see an ant on the sidewalk I’m thrilled anew at the wonder of all creation! 🙄🙄🙄

Have you ever experienced or suffered from writer’s block?

🤣🤣🤣

Are you happy?

No! Wtf? Have you read the news? Only the most oblivious, self-absorbed idiot could be happy right now, or ever really, considering all the suffering in this world. No offense to the mindless, of course. Do your thing.

Do you ever experience stress?

These questions are stressing me out!

Angry flames

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Monday Monday

Why the heck am I posting about Monday on a Saturday, you ask? Okay, possibly it’s Sunday off in New Zealand or wherever, idk. But the point is we should be soaking up every delicious morsel of weekend fun without worrying about Monday ookies.

Shrug

However!

There’s an exception to every rule. Well, maybe not to the rule that says there’s an exception to every rule because then that would mean there’d be no exception to… huh? Let me untangle my brain. K.

THE POINT IS… I forgot what the point is. Oh yeah. I’m going to start a new prompt on Monday! Wahooooo! It’s actually an old prompt called The Monday Peeve that I used to have on an old blog. People liked it, many people… 😂. Now that Di has stepped up to do the 3TC, I have only my Thursday Inspiration, so I’m free for another weekly prompt. This one is fun!

However2! This prompt probably won’t be for everyone, and that’s okay. Some of you like to stick with the uplifting, cheerful, positive posts, which I understand. TMP is gonna be about venting ~ some of us need that sometimes. I know I do! I’ll start with a theme, and those who wish to participate can stay with my theme or post about whatever peeve is on their mind, since there’s nothing more annoying than someone telling you what to vent about when you’re in the mood to vent!

Angry fire burning

However3! I do reserve the right not to accept linkbacks to any posts I find personally offensive, which could be any damn thing. You never know. But you should know. You know? Just be a normal decent human being ~ is that too much to ask?

Silly carefree unicorn

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

Little Blue Bear [socs]

Beanie Baby America

I have a little blue bear on my desk at work. He’s a Ty beanie baby named America and I bought him when he came out after 9/11, which was shortly after I began working here (I’m writing this Friday lunchtime and will schedule it to post Saturday morning). On the left side of his tag it says that 100% of the profits from the purchase of the bear will go to Red Cross Disaster Relief. On the right side it says: “In memory of those who lost their lives in the national catastrophe that took place on September 11, 2001. We mourn for them and express our deepest sympathy to their families. God Bless America.”

A lot has changed in 18 years. My parents have both passed on. I’m divorced. My two daughters both graduated college and have gotten married. One of them has a baby, which magically makes me a grandma. I’ve moved five times. I had a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. If you believe in “bad karma,” then this gave me mine and I’ve been unable to have a happy/successful romance since. I also had a couple minor car accidents, which were horribly upsetting at the time, but in the grand scheme of things, not so bad really.

In these 18 years, I’ve been a flame warrior on Usenet, made enemies and turned them into Facebook “friends,” and since I quit FB most of them have forgotten my existence again. Perhaps that’s a good thing. I’ve been on Friendster and Twitter and Snapchat and G+ and other “social sites” too dark and dirty to mention here. I’ve experimented with different lifestyles to see if they were for me (no), and they’ve greatly enriched my fiction and poetry writing.

I’ve written a lot during these years. So so much. Poetry, novels, short stories. Zillions of blog posts and tweets. Loads of emails and texts. Have had interesting text chats with many men that I thought might “go somewhere,” but they didn’t and here I am alone, which isn’t a bad thing after all. I’m not sure anyone could really put up with me now… and vice versa.

I find that as I trudge toward my seventh decade I’m more or less the same person I was at age 14. I like to read romance novels and write poetry. I love games and puzzles, kittens and puppies, cookies and pizza. I’m not a sophisticated adult type person with advanced tastes in wine and music. Give me rock & roll and mac & cheese, woo! I’m a homebody and enjoy simple comforts. A hot shower is bliss. As I age, I’ve learned that I get more easily stressed out by other people, so I have to limit my interactions with them.

But through all this, I’ve had a good job, where I’ve been treated well. And every work day, little blue bear has been there to greet me, no matter what else is going on. I am grateful/thankful for my job and for my side work too… and for my book sales even though I wish there were more. (I’ll keep writing regardless.) When I began this post, I assumed at some point I’d say something political, but really there’s no need.❤️🧁💙

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

People Are Like Cookies

Chocolate chip cookies

Beckie @ Beckie’s Mental Mess has a wonderful continuing series on various mental/emotional issues, and this week her focus is on introversion, a topic I apparently suggested (not that I have any memory of doing so). Soon, she’ll tackle amnesia, I hope! 😂

I’m going to answer the prompt questions that Beckie posted.

1. Are you more Isolated or Introverted?

I’m an introvert. I prefer to be alone or in small groups of close friends/family where we can have meaningful conversation. I also enjoy lots of online interaction. But I’m not isolated ~ most days I interact a little with actual people face to face and that’s fine.

2. Do you feel that there is a difference between the two?

Absolutely. You can be an introvert in the middle of a city, preferring not to talk to others while surrounded by people; while another person might be isolated due to circumstances, but not be introverted and love big parties.

3. What are the causes of being Isolated or Introverted?

Isolated can be by choice or circumstances. Introversion/extroversion traits are hardwired. I have always been exactly how I am.

4. Does your family/friends/co-workers question your behavior when you crave alone time and/or do not want to be bothered?

They don’t generally get fussed about my need for alone time. Some people have a bit of trouble understanding why I don’t wish to attend massive gatherings. A dozen or so people in a room is about the extent of my comfort level. More than that increases the noise to a point where the sound is just a wall crushing my head. There’s no way to have a real conversation either and I can’t stand nodding and smiling at BS.

I’m not talking about big open spaces like fairs or even restaurants that are designed for a lot of people. I’m talking about large social events where people are mashed together in rooms to be with each other. I just hate that. Why would I choose to go to such a thing when I could stay home with my boo kitty?🐱

5. Have you spoken to a therapist/psychiatrist in regards to being Isolated/Introverted?

No. Why would I? I’m fine!

6. What is a normal day being in your shoes?

I commute to work alone in my car to a small office where there is a moderate amount of talking, depending on the day and what needs to be done. Some days I’ll have a phone chat with one or both of my daughters for 20 minutes or so. Generally, I don’t socialize much with friends during the workweek. At night, I’ll do extra work, read, blog, etc.

7. If you were ever asked to go to dinner/party, would you go?  If not, what kind of excuses have you made up to get out of going?

Most weekends I do some sort of social thing that includes dinner, usually a potluck, followed by board games. But it’s with a reasonable number of people, like 10, not 100. Sometimes I’ll go to lunch with one friend, or to the movies with a few, or drive up to Los Angeles to hang with my family and whoever else might be at their place. I am not opposed to people! But they do need to be rationed, like cookies. Too many at once and I’ll just barf.🤮

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ40: Control Freak

Fandango provocatively asks…

“How much control do you believe you have over your own life?”

Not much!

Now, that might strike some as a strange response, given that I’m sort of a control freak, but I think some of us CF types are that way precisely as a reaction to how little control we actually do have.

I mean, there’s really nothing I can do about so many things. Natural disasters come when they will, and sure I can have some bottled water and flashlights on hand, but I doubt those will help me in a real crisis. I don’t have the resources to create an underground bunker, assuming you can get to one in time and can last out whatever thing. What do you do in said bunker if you have a heart attack and need a doctor? Do you kidnap one and bring him with you just in case? How about surgery and meds?

Unnatural disasters are pretty much the same thing. I drive defensively, but there’s always some idiot blasting out of nowhere ~ and indeed one hit me and sped off three years ago. You try to plan for the “black swan,” but the one that appears is often not the one you modeled. I stay home a lot to avoid people and accidents, but a while back I fell in my bathroom and cracked my head on the tub.

Shit happens, and it keeps coming. I was contentedly living in my cozy apartment when the owner decided to switch things up, brought in a management company, and raised the rent 25%. Nothing I could do. Moving is expensive; housing in SoCal is insane. Leaving the area for a cheaper one… and hope to get a new job in my late 50s? Umm. I do feel trapped like a mouse.

How do I cope? Obsessively arrange my paper clips and shoes. Make sure all my socks are folded the same way. Keep items at right angles. Create lots of lists so I can cross things off. This all gives me the illusion of control in a chaotic world. But I know nothing is really in my control and that sucks.

(I am not seeking advice. Thank you!)

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

One-Liner Wednesday

Maybe it’s my tinnitus, or just aging in general, but I’m finding it so lovely to be in silent spaces. My office is usually pretty quiet and I appreciate that. I don’t always play music in the car; sometimes it’s nice not to. I enjoy a white noise fan at home, and I don’t need background music or the din of TV voices to lull me into believing I have company. I’m very grateful for peace and silence.

~*~

Written for One-Liner Wednesday

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

My MBA from Blogger U

Mystery Blogger Award

Big thanks goes out to Rory @ A Guy Called Bloke for gifting me the MBA. Very much appreciated! Rory has a fantastic blog, and he’s made a lot of cool changes to its look and navigation recently, so it’s much easier to find all his neato stuffs. Personally, I’m partial to his 4-Question Challenges and 321 Quote Me’s. This year’s Valentine’s Challenge inspired me to write some fun series stories, which people seemed to enjoy. I also look forward to reading Rory’s clever poetry and his adventures with Suze and Scrappy.

So, if you haven’t visited Rory in a while, I suggest you run, hop, roll, fly, scooter, or use whatever means available to you in order to have a look around the place. Except please do avoid crossing rivers on the backs of crocodiles ~ I hear that’s not a great idea.

Crocodile with butterfly

Now, onto the T’s & C’s. You know what a stickler I am for da rules. 😂

After thanking my giftee giver (done) and linking back (ditto), I’m supposed to now mention this dude what began the whole mystery jamboree: Okoto Enigma.

Alrighty then. What next?

Oh, I’m supposed to mention three things about myself. One, I’m wearing blue nail polish. Two, I exercised before work today, go me! Three, I love pluots (plum/apricot hybrids).

Next, I’m to answer the five questions Rory posed for his giftees.

1. Are we losing the art of listening in comparison to simply hearing?

People have always tuned others out, whether by hiding behind a newspaper or turning up the TV or whatever. What’s new is that it’s now become socially acceptable to be rude in one specific way: by sticking our faces in our phones.

Forex, I go to social gatherings pretty often, sometimes at restaurants and sometimes at people’s homes. Generally, we eat and then play board games. While it would be weird and obnoxious for someone to bring a book and start reading at dinner or in the middle of a game, it’s perfectly fine for people to constantly check their phones and even to engage in lengthy texting while with the group. I’ve been guilty of this behavior myself on occasion, but I try to avoid it because I notice how annoying it is when others do it. I’ll have a quick text exchange with a daughter and that’s it. In fact, one of my girls commented late last Saturday night how strange it was I hadn’t replied to them within my usual 5-second timeframe.

Of course, you can’t pay proper attention to the people around you and listen to what they’re saying when you’re buried in a text chat or game on your phone. It’s obviously obvious and I’m working on it myself. I’ve been trying to be more present for people. It takes an effort, like anything else.

2. How often do you openly discuss with friends or here in WP with your readership topics that make you feel uncomfortable or may be taboo or stigma laden?

There are topics I avoid, such as politics, because I find the inevitable conflicts unnecessary. Sometimes I’ll comment on other people’s blogs about an issue, but even then I’m careful. I used to discuss politics on Facebook and it got so hostile and boring. Same arguments over and over. What’s the point?

Shrug

3. Do you think that these discussions should be freely discussed and written about more?

I think we are inundated with politics and most of it is utter trash. We would all be better off with much less of it occupying our attention. Take the Alabama Sharpie ridiculousness ~ it should never have been newsworthy, and it’s everyone’s fault. No one can let something go. Every minute scrap of idiocy must be banged on about to the fucking death for the clicks and lulz. Nastiest comment wins!

4. Did you have a nickname as a child and if so, what was [or what is it now]?

No. People mostly ignored me, same as now. Occasionally, they were mean, such as when a boy in 4th Grade told me my glasses made me look like Ben Franklin. But no one began calling me Ben; they just resumed ignoring me.

Ben Franklin


5. Why is there still ‘stuff’ we simply just don’t understand despite our progressive world?

Why is there stuff? Welp, it’s only recently in the grand scheme of things that we’ve begun to understand anything really. Sure, maybe the ancients had some clues about this or that, but the masses of folks…

Oh, what am I saying? The masses of folks are still hopelessly anti-science and would let the entire planet choke and die for some woozy goozy gibberish about a sky fairy swooping down to save a few and whisking them off to some candy cloud castle or whatever.

Progressive? Bah.

Crabby

For the grand finale, I’m supposed to give the award to 3 more bloggers and create 5 more questions yada… however! This blog is an Answer-Only blog. Yep. I have the official certificate here somewhere… hang on please…

Gold star to answer questions only

That’s the Mystery Award done and dusted!

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Creative Fources

Shamrock

More Q’s from Rory, S1g4.

What truly motivates you to write?

Depends on the day. Could be a need to express emotion, which I tend to do best via the written word. Could be a need to express the joy of creativity, like yesterday when I wanted to capture how I felt about a beautiful painting of purple flowers. Or maybe I want to challenge myself with a writing prompt outside my usual genre simply to see if I can do it well. Sort of like an intellectual puzzle.


What’s cluttering up your life today and what are you doing about it?

I have a to-do list full of lots of unfinished writing (and other) projects, which bothers me, but I’m always running out of time for all the things. At this very moment, I’ve just finished my weekend paying work, which took me too long because I was texting in between, and now I still have cleaning I want to do. It’s almost 5pm though and it would be nice to relax tonight before work Monday, but I really can’t. This post is my break. Maybe in a couple hours I’ll blog more, or read.


Did you enjoy a creative childhood?

I think so, though there could always be more. I read a lot and began writing little poems early on. I had sketchbooks and paints, and loads of beads for bracelets and such. My mom loved arts & crafts, so we always had something going on ~ candle making, latch hook rugs, macrame, knitting blankets for dolls, etc. Each was a fad, but fun.


Have you ever wanted to write a book or if you have written a book do you feel accomplished for doing so?

I have written books… and at first I did feel accomplished, but now not so much really. My first one was easy because I simply globbed together previous writing, edited it a bit, and made a cover. I was thrilled to have some sales and grateful for each one. When I completed an entire novel though (while working full-time), it felt like a huge deal. I had amazed myself! But then I did it a few more times, so eh whatever. And it turns out that zillions of people are writing novels while working full-time. Plus, they are also finding the time to market their books properly and get way more sales and do promos and send newsletters and tweet and do Facebook ads and so knowing this…

I actually feel like a failure a lot of the time. Like, why did I bother sinking so fucking much of my time into writing? I could have just been watching TV like a normal person and reading romance novels written by others. Blogging sure, since I enjoy that and there’s no expectations. But I did think I’d “get somewhere” with my writing. No, not on the NYT bestseller list, but not a flatline week after week on Amazon either.

I’ve been taking a writing break because I feel so down about it all. And no, I’m not fishing for praise or rah-rah follow your dream type pep talks. Just venting. Maybe someone will come along and commiserate. We can be writing quitter buddies.

The Daily Four

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Fun Challenge: Grocery List

Grocery list

Shocking right? What a mess! Welp, I don’t keep it neatly on my phone like the Bag Lady does. I grab any piece of paper and start scribbling as I think of things, using whichever writing implement hasn’t been batted under the fridge by the kitty. I also write in code that even I sometimes have trouble deciphering later.

S&C is shampoo and conditioner, obviously. Lysol wipes, coffee, tissue, green beans, and… guam? Yes, apparently I’m picking up Guam this weekend. Hope they have it at Von’s and it’s not over my credit card limit.

Dunno why I wrote my beverages as an outline, though of course Diet Coke is the most important one. Don’t worry, haters! I’ve reserved lots of comments so you can rant about the evils of diet soda. Please do go on. Now, in your corner is a recent study correlating diet soda to early death… but also regular (sugary) soda is linked as well. Soda is bad, mmkay? Always remember though: correlation is not causation.

Also, if you didn’t know… milk is bad (fat). Juice is bad (sugar). Booze is bad (duh). And even water is bad ~ polluted and full of micro-plastics and hormones and fluoride, which now has been proven to lower IQ. OMG, the wackadoos were right! What else have they been right about? Maybe the earth is flat! Maybe we didn’t go to the moon! Maybe Elvis is still alive! The possibilities are endless…

What can we drink then? Conservatives have liberal tears slurped up through plastic straws, but what about the rest of us? Personally, I alternate my Diet Coke with Bai and Snapple (both also diet) until it’s cold (under 70 degrees F), at which point I’ll switch mainly to hot black tea with a splash of milk. Generally, I’ll have one large cup of coffee per day. Mm, hot drinks coming soon. September is annoying because of this heat forcing me to drink so many cold things. Hurry up autumn!

I’ve been out of avos for days, which is so sad (maybe I was crying when I wrote it down, hence the blur?). Avocados are my favorite food and I like to have one a day when I can. I’ve been known to have an avo for breakfast. Just plain, with salt. I’m not a fancy person.

This is also why I don’t date anymore ~ who would want to have a relationship with someone that eats avocados for breakfast? Besides a raccoon… 🥑

~*~

© 2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

One Of These Knights…

Knight on horse

On this day, I learned that Facebook is galloping into the dating site biz… after snoozing in the stall for all these years. And I’m sure the first thought to occur to everyone is… OMG will this motivate Paula to end her extended FB vacation?

Ha ha ha ha!

No.

Remember, I didn’t merely deactivate my FB account… I deleted it. And to create a new account, I’d have to create a new email address, which is much too annoying to contemplate. Plus, I hate Facebook. Also, I hate dating. Hmm, I believe that covers everything. Sorry for being brusque.

But! I haven’t given up on finding my dream man… I just increasingly believe that he’s most likely not hanging around on the interwebnets. He may have done so, at some point in the past, and we pixeled past each other like clicks in the night, but he is doing something else now… like writing spontaneously great poetry beside a meandering stream, or perhaps painting psychedelic works of art under a tree…

~*~

©️2019 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.