Category Archives: Movies

Rolling on a River [SOCS]

Roll does make me think of “rolling on a river” from “Proud Mary,” a song I love. But I also think of rolls, like the kind you eat warm with butter, not that I do much of that. I hardly eat any bread these days, just some boringly healthy whole wheat for the occasional snadwich, not that I’m doing paleo gawd no, but I try to avoid it because eh. Bread. So high in cals & carbs. I love the group Bread though… didn’t I mention that already recently? Those songs break my heart. “If the world should stop revolving…” Kills me. Dead. And there was that line in Young Frankenstein about rolling in the hay, which was hilarious… and I said I was going to rewatch YF at Halloween but I didn’t. I just haven’t been into movies lately. I do want to see Bohemian Rhapsody though. And Mary Poppins. I thought I might talk about role play, but it would just be talk, IYKWIMAITYD.

Yeah, I didn’t do troll and droll and proletariat. Whatever dudes. I’m tired. 😜

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Comedy Is Hard

It’s easy to be funny on the fly ~ most of us have come up with a zinger or three and cracked up our friends. I do it pretty often, but a lot of my jokes fail, especially in text. Imagine being funny for 5 minutes straight or 10 or 30… think that’s easy? No, it’s not.

Beware of the man who insists he’s funny all the time and humor is easy for him. They are manipulative and scary. There’s a reason why so many people are terrified of clowns ~ I’m not, but I get it. When you don’t laugh at the clown, he gets angry, very angry. It’s never his failure to be funny; it’s always you not getting it.

I love parody, but it has to be good. Crappy parody makes me cringe. I’ll give you an example. I think Alec Baldwin’s parodies of Trump on SNL are crappy. They’re simply imitating Trump’s stupidity, not adding any dimension to it. When someone came out portraying Bannon as Darth Vader? That was great parody! Larry David’s parody of Bernie Sanders had me on the floor. So effing funny.

One of my favorite parodies of all time is the film Analyze This! It gently mocks the entire mob movie genre, starring Robert DeNiro as a caricature of all the mob guys he’s ever played. I love it so much. Billy Crystal is wonderful as the straight-man psychiatrist.

I love language-centered humor and wordplays. I find a lot of country music has super funny lyrics, which is why I roll my eyes at peeps who dismiss it outright. Have you ever heard “She’s Got a Way with Words” by Blake Shelton? Omg hilarious!

The best kind of humor imo is the kind that’s intertwined with the story, not the focus of it, but inevitable, despite drama and trauma, because ~ let’s face it ~ you have to laugh at the absurdity of life lest you go completely bonkers.

Or you can do both. Some people are better at multitasking than otters.

I Put the Lie in Liebster

Big thanks to Kristian for the award! Loved his answers. 😀

RULES

  • Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award
  • Answer 11 questions that the blogger gave you
  • Give 11 random thoughts about yourself
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and notify them of their nomination
  • Ask your nominees 11 questions

The origins of this award are as follows:

“This award is meant to encourage new bloggers. From The Global Aussie: “The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011.  Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.”  The award initially focused on bloggers with less than 2000 followers, but as its popularity increased this number has gone down to 200.”

My questions from Kristian:

  1. If someone were to make a film/movie about your life, which actor would you like to play you? Joan Cusack. People have said we look alike, and maybe I’d get an intro to John.
  2. If you had to stand up and sing a song at Karaoke what song would you choose? Already tried to sing Bang Bang with someone and goofed it all up.
  3. If you received a plane ticket through the post that could take you absolutely anywhere in the world, where would you go? Back to NorCal to visit my family.
  4. You are trapped in a mountain hut in a snowstorm. You have all the food and drink you need but there is no TV. What books would you like to have with you? All the romances I haven’t read. But nothing scary if I’m trapped!
  5. If you could go back in time and meet someone from history who would it be? Whoops! Couldn’t decide and then forgot to answer. I’ll just put Emily Dickinson.
  6. You arrive home after a long day and the magic elves have cooked/prepared your favourite meal, what is it? Sautéed mushrooms over wilted greens and lovely fresh seafood pasta.
  7. Someone pulls out in front of you on the motorway, makes you slam your breaks on, then speeds off. What would you like to happen to them? Ticket for speeding and reckless driving. I know that sounds boring, but if people were actually penalized properly, things would get better on the roads and we wouldn’t have to hate each other and be so stressed.
  8. What burning question that I didn’t ask would you like to answer? How many words am I up to in NaNoWriMo ~ 7674

Eight is the new 11, yayyy! Thanks Kristian for not going up to 11!

Eight random things about me then:

1. My ears are significantly asymmetrical.

2. I remember names much better than faces.

3. I don’t ask/care about/remember facts about people such as age, location, job because those things bore me, but I will remember something funny they said.

4. I have written two complete, legit romance novels (available for Kindle).

5. I have done stand-up comedy.

6. I won an award in high school for being awesome at Spanish.

7. I barely remember any Spanish now.

8. I still have some Beanie Babies.

If you have fewer than 500 WordPress followers, you have now been chosen by me as a Liebster Award Recipient ~ congrats! Please follow the rules above and take my 8 random facts (8 is the new 11) and questionize them (what about you is asymmetrical, do you remember names or faces, etc.).

Happy Liebstering!

20 Questions

I saved these from Ashley Leia since my blogging has been a little light the last few days. Yesterday I wrote over 2500 words on my NaNo novel and penned a poem for my new book in progress, so I feel super productive starting the week.

• what’s the most dangerous situation you have ever been in?

– Driving in SoCal.

• what’s your favourite culture?

– Feline.

• what do you dislike about your own culture?

– The thing that’s currently president.

• your favourite type of travel?

– Staycation!

• do you feel understood?

– The lizard 🦎 gets me.

• how do you feel about your body?

– Hurts too much imo.

• what is your favourite film?

– When Harry Met Sally.

• are you adventurous with food?

– No.

• have you ever hated a place and wanted to come home?

– Always.

• are you bothered about others seeing you naked?

– Who? What have you heard?

• Are you a good loser?

– Yes.

• what was the favourite time of your life?

– When my girls were little and my mom was still around and I could do whatever I pleased.

• Do you have a close family connection?

– With my daughters.

• can you speak another language?

– No.

• will Trump be in for another term?

– 🤮🤮🤮

• what are your thoughts on English people?

– You mean like James Bond, Hugh Grant, handsome Dukes with castles who sometimes have to go about disguised as pirates because of some mixup… what was the question?

• was life better without mobile phones?

– Yes, and the internet, microwaves, vaccines, cars, bras, antibiotics, indoor plumbing, wheels, and fire. Fucking fire, caused so many problems.

• what has been the biggest change in your life?

– Being completely alone in my 50s and accepting this new reality.

• is climate change real?

– Duh.

• why do you like answering questions?

– It’s a nice little break from writing. Then I save them to publish in the middle of the night and know I’ll have at least one poast out for tomorrow.

Feel free to C&P and play along!

MoviePass Update

If anyone was wondering why I haven’t poasted any movie reviews lately, there are two main reasons.

First, when I went up to NorCal for a week in early October, I got out of the movie-going mood. Even though there were some new ones I was interested in, when I returned I was all… meh, who cares. Other things seemed more important to prioritize in my free time.

Second, MoviePass finally got sucky for me, just like others have been complaining about for a while. It became increasingly difficult to find a movie I wanted to see at a convenient time and place. MP does that deliberately to save themselves money ~ the app kept going dark to make sure I got so frustrated I gave up. Finally, they pulled my nearby E-ticket theater off the preferred list, so only crappy movies were available. That’s when I canceled my membership.

No biggie. From June through September it was a great deal and I saw 16 movies at a sweet price. Now I’m just back to where I was before.

I think this weekend I will see both A Star Is Born and Bohemian Rhapsody as early matinees. Those aren’t bad prices (around $6 or $8) and I really want to see these two movies. One, the previews are fabulous; and, two, they will motivate my writing. In the novel I’m writing for NaNo, two of the characters are in bands.

Do I know anything about music or bands? Hell no! But that never stops me. I’ve also written about true love and the mob, going strictly from hearsay. Or is that heresy? 😜

Where Tags Come To Die

The lovely Jay-lyn nominated me for yet another Sunshine Award and guess how many questions I have to answer? Yup. ELEVEN. 🙄🙄🙄 As per my SOP, I am not tagging anyone, but I encourage everyone who hasn’t done one of these yet to copy Jay’s questions and answer them on your own blog.

Thank you, Jay, for these great questions:

1. Do you believe in true love?

– Well, I’m not sure we all define it the same way, but do I believe that two people can, soon after meeting, discover a mutual and intensely fulfilling physical, emotional, and intellectual connection that builds into a caring and committed bond that lasts a lifetime… sure, why not? I think it has happened to other people.

2. Summer or Winter?

– Summer.

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be?

– Idk, I don’t really like to travel and leave my kitty. 🐱

4. Have you ever sat in your car and cried for no reason other than being sad?

– I usually have a reason for being sad. But yes.

5. Science Fiction or Fantasy?

– Not clear on the difference here. SciFi is like Star Trek and fantasy is dragons? Can’t mix those, I suppose, but why not? I liked the original Star Trek and the movies with those characters a lot, but I also liked the one with Chris Pine (no, I don’t want to hear about his penis), but I love love love Game of Thrones. However, that’s kind of a one-off; I didn’t love dragon stuff before and I doubt I will again. So… yeah. Idk.

6. If you could be any fantasy character what type would you be?

– A dragon! Purple obviously.

7. If you discovered the secret to slowing down the aging process would you use it?

– On myself? How would that work? I’d quit aging, so I’d never retire, but my bosses would, and then I’d have to look for a new job? Gahhh. What about my kids ~ they’d age past me and die?! That sounds pretty horrible actually. 😢

8. Walking through the forest you come upon a large tree with a door in it, do you open the door?

– No, that seems like a bad idea. Might be a dragon in there.

9. If you opened the door in the above question what did you find?

– Dragon, hello.

10. If you did not open the door in question 8 why not?

– Probably a drug dealer’s stash. Best not to know or to leave fingerprints. In a novel, the protagonist would of course open the door, which would cause a cascade of unnecessary problems and then of course end in true love. But before that… ughhh drama!

11. Favorite all time Halloween costume.

– Devil with a blue dress on.

Eleven Eleven Eleven

Why are these award things stuck on 11 questions? It’s bizarre! Anyway, thanks to Anjali Sharma of Positive Side of the Coin for another Sunshine Award.

I don’t tag bloggers for awards. Far as I’m concerned, everyone who follows me is a ray of golden sun, so I encourage you to copy Anjali’s great questions and answer them on your own blog.

Anjali’s Questions–

1. What made you smile today?

– Knowing that my daughter and granddaughter will be here in a little while.

2. What is your biggest win?

– I won a sewing machine in a raffle in sixth grade. Gambling/lotteries have been all downhill since.

3. Your [motto] in life?

– Life is short; eat dessert first.

4. Your favourite movie?

– Dr. Zhivago, Young Frankenstein, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, An Officer and A Gentleman, Goodfellas, Risky Business, The Devil Wears Prada, lots of musicals… Sorry, can’t pick only one!

5. Your favourite books and author?

– The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Kundera); The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald); Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman (Murakami); Ray Carver’s short stories, Jennifer Crusie’s contemporary romances, etc.

6. Why you love blogging?

– Self-expression, controlled, and at a distance.

7. Which is that one movie which has inspired you the most?

Risky Business.

8. If you have read my blogs, what’s your favourite blog written by me?

– I enjoy your overall happiness theme.

9. What’s best life advice you ever got from someone?

– Do nothing (when you are upset and don’t know what to do).

10. Your goal in life?

– Continue to have a great relationship with my daughters.

11. What is your definition of love?

– Family.

Creepy Questions 😱

From the Blokey Guy… if you want to play, visit his link, but the basic rule is C&P and do not delete any of the questions marked with a P… or else! 🙀☠️👿

Daily Topic Subject – Just Creepy

Q1] Favourite all time creepy monster or villain?

– Rather partial to Johnny Depp’s Barnabas Collins.

Q2] Pumpkin Pie or what is your favorite pie at Halloween?

– I didn’t know we were supposed to eat pie at Halloween ~ I’ll get right on that! Pumpkin sounds good to me, iff it has a graham cracker crust.

Q3] What is something you most assuredly wouldn’t want to bump into in a darkened alleyway?

– Stephen Miller.

Q4] Have you ever dabbled with the dark side .. l don’t mean Bloody Mary either l mean Ouija?

– Not really, but I’m not opposed to it.

PQ5] What’s your most favorite Halloween movie that you just have to watch over, and over and over again every Halloween? [Link Please]

Young Frankenstein

Q6] Are you superstitious? [How so?]

– Not seriously, but you have to make decisions somehow in a world full of chaos, so having “lucky numbers” and that kind of nonsense isn’t the worst thing unless you do actual harm. Forex, I like to buy 8 things at a time, not 7 or 9. If I have 9 things, I’ll add Tictacs to make 10.

PQ7] If you found yourself trapped in a horror movie which one would it be?

– The one where I keep joining dating sites and meeting crazy men at Starbucks. Oh wait…

Q8] On the subject whilst we are here, have you ever played Bloody Mary?

– I don’t know what that is, so no.

Q9] Oh golly jeepers, you have awoken in the night to hear footsteps in the house .. who you gonna call?

– It’s just my cat, RIGHT? 🐱

Q10] So it’s dark and creepy, and you have just been dared to visit the local Cemetery would you do it?

– No, but not because I’m afraid of ghosts ~ because I’m afraid of humans who might be hanging out there doing drug deals or whatever.

Q11] After watching a scary flick, can you just go to bed, or do you have to do something cheery first?

– I have to leave the lights on!

PQ12] It’s Halloween, you are music master at the party, what are your first five songs going to be played to kick start the night?

– Monster Mash, Spooky, Rhiannon, Witchy Woman, Bad Moon Rising.

Q13]  Favorite all time scary creepy spooky book?

– Stephen King’s The Shining.

Q14] You have been invited to the ultimate Monster Mash party and it’s fancy costume – who are you going as?

– Little Red Writing Hood.

PQ15] Are you doing anything for Halloween this year? If so what?

– Probably the Saturday before but not on the actual day.

Q16] You are a junior witch going onto ‘sleep away camp’, you have to take a familiar with you and your choices are:

Black Cat ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Toad

Owl

Bat

Rat

Critter

What are you going to pick and why?

– Cat because cat.

Q17] You have been chosen to make the tea cakes for the party and they have to look spooky what are you going to make?

– White cakes with red jello drippings all topped with swirls of fleshy pink frosting!

Q18] How old were you when you saw your first horror movie – what was it – provide link?

– My mom and I watched Creature Features in our basement while doing jigsaw puzzles. Saw all sorts of horrible things: monsters ripping off heads in ski lodges, reptiles taking over Florida, beasts eating sailors on submarines, etc. Movies (and books) were never censored for me, which is probably not the best way. BECAUSE NOW LOOK.

Q19] Are you easily scared?

– I can talk myself down from fictional scenes. People are another matter entirely. Anyone who isn’t terrified of the current U.S. gov’t right now is not paying attention.

PQ20] Are you deleting any questions, if so which ones?

– Nopers.

Q21] It’s Halloween, you have three choices which do you pick? Party, Trick or Treating or staying at home curtain closed watching spooky stuff?

– Dismantling the patriarchy. I mean party. Damn autocorrect.

10 Influential Movies

The Haunted Wordsmith asks us to name 10 movies that influenced us. That’s a hard question ~ I’d be able to more easily choose books. But I’m up for the challenge!

1. When Harry Met Sally. I love this movie. There are so many fabulous quotes from it (and I’m not usually a person who goes around quoting from movies). Harry is hilarious! However I don’t feel the romance between Harry and Sally is ideal at all ~ I dislike him as a romantic hero for most of the film, plus they break up, etc. He’s a jerk, let’s be honest, even though he improves, unlike yer average dude. But the romance between their sidekicks (Marie and Jess) is the one to aim for ~ love at first sight, no turning back, boom.💥

2. Risky Business. It’s sort of a stretch, but I saw this movie alone in Chicago during a time I had a crush on a guy in my computer class. After I watched it, and received the “sometimes you have to say what the fuck” message, I acted more assertively toward the guy. Of course, the ensuing drama was to my detriment and I ended up moving to California not going to Princeton. 🙄

3. Mystery flick. Saw this with my mommy around 1970 in the theater. It was some kind of sci-fi disaster story about people who had survived an apocalyptic event and were stranded out on a rocky ledge of land. Or they might have been prehistoric peeps. Either way, they believed blond hair was evil and they had to cover it with black goo to avert more catastrophe. Then there was a giant tsunami anyway. This made me scared of water and that has informed my writing. Anyone know the name of this movie? 🌊

4. Candyman. Impossibly scary. Omg 🐝! And it turns out I am allergic to bees and wasps. Was hospitalized for shock after a sting. Gahhh!

5. Analyze This! Hilarious flick which set me up to love The Sopranos. Before AT, the only mob movie I liked was Goodfellas, but now I pretty much enjoy them all. 😀

6. Doctor Zhivago. Life sucks and then you die, even if you’re rich. So, if you have a choice, don’t live somewhere hideously cold like Siberia or Chicago. ❄️

7. The Devil Wears Prada. 👠 You’re not too good to work at a fashion mag even if you have a snooty journalism degree. That’s all.

8. Life of Pi. 🐯 It’s a great storytelling gift to narrate a tale inside a tale such that the audience forgets that’s what is happening, and the narrator could be unreliable. At the end, we are asked to do a bit of work and figure out what to believe; we are never told. This interests me greatly and I have tried to write in a similar style at times.

9. Alex & Emma. You can overcome writer’s block when there are mafia enforcers after you and your publisher refuses to pay until you produce. Good to know! 😂

10. You’ve Got Mail. 💌 I learned that in fiction you can meet your soulmate, lie about your identity, deceive your current partner… and the happily ever after will still materialize. For a long time I thought this could translate to real life, so it did influence me because it seemed perfect and romantic not cheap and creepy like it actually is, but I finally realized that all this stuff is best left on the page or screen.

There are a zillion movies I love but would not include on this list because they haven’t influenced me. Musicals, forex, and most romantic comedies. Most dramas and mysteries, however enjoyable, haven’t done anything to change my POV. I chose the above films carefully, only listing those that actually have had a lasting effect on me in some way.

What are your 10?

PS: I just realized 3 of these movies were directed by Rob Reiner! I’ve been way too influenced by the meathead! 😂😂😂

Checkmate [flash 745]

Michael North exited his Bentley as the valet held the door. “Careful with my sleigh,” he told the elf. “It’s brand new.”

Chuckling at his own wit, Michael strode across the parking area and adjusted his crown. He was pleased to see the BMWs and Mercedes in attendance. His “sleigh” would be in good company tonight.

“Hey, your highness!”

Michael turned to see his lawyer dressed like a vampire. “Great costume, Tom!”

“Thanks and backatcha. This fireman here is my tax accountant and golf buddy, Jerry.”

Michael shook hands with Jerry, and the three men ambled down the spookily decorated path, ready for Halloween.

“Mike, congrats on your spectacular success,” Jerry said. “My kids loved your movie. We saw it twice, in fact.”

“See it again!” Michael laughed and swept his purple cape up the marble steps toward the double doors.

“Welcome to Jack’s Haunted House!” chimed two scantily clad “kittens” as the men entered the foyer. “I’m Ashley and this is Olivia. We hope you have a shockingly good time tonight!”

“Meow!” Olivia purred. “Let us know if you need anything.”

Michael ogled both kittens for a few seconds, but now that he’d come up in the world, he wouldn’t bother with them. Far more interesting women would be here tonight, and they would be better suited for him. He smiled as he glanced around the opulent house–nice, but he’d buy a fancier one soon. It was good to be the king!

“Isn’t this fabulous?” Jerry said. “Let’s get a drink!”

Ashley escorted them to the bar where they met up with their host and accepted glasses of champagne.

“To our star writer!” toasted Jack, the host and director of Michael’s hit movie.

“Any new million dollar screenplays in the works?” Tom asked Michael. “Pitch ’em here. We’re all friends!”

He shrugged. “I’m kicking around a few ideas. Waiting for the muse to kiss me again. Can’t rush these things, ya know.”

“Well, The Dragon Princess was incredible,” Jerry said. “Sales are still phenomenal overseas too. Just do a sequel. People love sequels!”

“Fantastic idea.” Michael nodded.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Like he hasn’t already thought of that. Right?”

“Of course!” Michael grinned. “Excuse me a mo.”

He gazed at himself in the bathroom mirror, fixing the golden collar of his robe and making sure his hair was just so. To his left, the frosted shower door slid open.

Out stepped the angel of death.

“Haha,” Michael said. “Jack sure spared no expense for this party.”

“I’m not here for the party,” came a vaguely familiar female voice behind the garish makeup. “I’m here for you, Michael.”

She walked slowly toward him. “Remember me? Heather Sand? We lived together for three years and you stole my screenplay, The Dragon Princess. Then you dumped me after you sold it. Now you have a mega hit and I have nothing. Oh wait. That’s not true. I have this.” She reached into her costume and pulled out a knife.

Michael began to sweat. “Um… Heather? This all a huge misunderstanding. I lost your number. Can you believe it? I wanted to share my success with you, honey.”

The angel laughed. But not a happy laugh. No, Michael was sure it was a mean and mocking laugh. He babbled on. “Look, they want a sequel and you should write it. We could make tens of millions. I mean, you could! It would be all yours!”

As the angel came closer, Michael ran out of words. But he never really had that many since he was never a real writer, only a rotten, lying, cheating thief. But it was too late now to apologize as the knife plunged into his throat.

Ashley and Olivia scampered down the hall toward the bathroom. “So annoyed that this tail keeps coming loose,” Ashley said. “How much longer do we have to stay at this ridiculous party anyway?”

“Only two hours till midnight,” Olivia said. “And a grand each! That’ll sure help us out for the rest of the semester.”

Ashley opened the door. “I can’t wait until we have our degrees and don’t have to do these stupid… oh, gosh. Sorry! The door was unlocked.”

“Great addition to your costume, Mr. North!” Olivia said. “It looks so realistic.”

The kittens glanced at each other. “Maybe he needs help up,” Ashley whispered. “He is a bit tubby.”

They bent down next to the fallen king. “Is he breathing?” Olivia asked.

Then they screamed.

~*~