Mmmpie [flash 259]

Every year, the folks at the soup kitchen lined up for their Thanksgiving meal. They were very grateful for a warm place to spend the afternoon, along with wholesome food to fill their bellies. Most of them were used to cold and hunger, especially at this time of year.

“Does anyone know who donates these pies?” Darlene asked. “They’re so delicious. This light, flaky homemade crust is simply divine. I love the pumpkin.”

“The apple is my favorite,” Pete said. “Full of cinnamon and raisins. My guess is that it’s the church lady who brings the mashed potatoes. She’s very generous.”

Doc shook his head. “I saw her come in. She didn’t have any pies. I think it’s the nice gal from the party supply store who gives us the paper plates and stuff. She’s very sentimental, a real pie type.”

Darlene laughed. “What’s a pie type, Doc?”

“She’s just sweet. Always asks how I’m doing. She gave me an old coat last year her husband didn’t like anymore.”

“I could use a coat,” Pete said. “The guy who brings the turkeys is swell too. He usually gives me a couple bucks when he gets gas, but I don’t think he brought the pies.”

The three friends ate and talked and kept debating which of the pleasant folks at the soup kitchen brought the pies, but none of them had noticed the unsmiling man standing discreetly outside the door, providing security.

Yes, it was none other than retired police lieutenant and pastry baker extraordinaire, Stan the Pie Man!

Mmmpie!

~*~

Photo and word prompts via The Haunted Wordsmith

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Sunday at the Maul [rantish]

Yesterday, after having a fabulous pizza lunch with my dear friend at a lovely restaurant literally a few steps from my apartment, I had the bright idea to go shopping at South Coast Plaza. Let me explain! I reasoned that all the exciting deals would be starting on dreadful Black Friday, so I could browse in peace the weekend prior to the madness.

Wrong! Wrongety wrong wrong wrong. I can admit when I’m wrong, and man I was wrong with a side helping of wrongola.

But once I was there and had been driving around for 15 minutes looking for parking, I wasn’t about to change my mind and give up. Nope. At first, I searched the lanes methodically, banking on my good parking karma as a considerate driver, but that got me nowhere, so then I cruised around haphazardly until I found an empty space, which happened to be at the butt-end of Saks, but hey… good exercise, amirite?

After entering the maul itself, I made a beeline (whatever that is) for the spot all the way on the opposite side where I had a vague memory my favorite baby store Gymboree used to be located. Yay, it was still there! Boo, it didn’t have anything I liked. But Baby Gap was right next door, hurrah! They had a super cute outfit! But no matching booties. What? Can’t buy a footless baby outfit sans matching sox! The horror.

I readjusted my bearings to the shambles of the reality of the maul and the fact that I’d have to navigate it. Good gawd it was stuffed with people! So many people. There was a snow house dealio, so naturally all the people with kids needed to pose around there. It was too crowded for me to see if a Santa lurked within. People without kids were also posing. Selfie time! Not me, obviously. Ever since I quit Facebook and Instagram, I’m amazed at how few selfies and pics of food I actually need.

I made a silent vow: I would not leave the maul sans my holiday gifts. No way was I enduring this torture without a payoff. I didn’t need that many, mostly just the baby stuff. Eventually, I found it at Macy’s, which was having the most incredible pre-sale sales, even for those of us lucky enough not to be burdened with the misfortune of having a Macy’s credit card (world’s worst T&C’s).

I was going to regale y’all with the side story of how I managed to find the ONE THING not on sale at Macy’s: a black bra. But this poast is already so long no one in their right mind is going to read it. Not to mention I have two prompt words left here on my Post-It and I need to use them, but they don’t go with a bra at all.

On the way out, I just happened to pass the jewelry department and discovered that some of their sterling silver was 75% off. Now, this was just crazy! I began to look at the earrings and found a pair with created opals. I used to be turned off by the idea of “fake” stones, but now I think they’re not only better deals than genuine stones but more ethical purchases besides. Anyway, these lil opals were soooo colorful and sparkly, and now only $10! So, I bought myself a treat. I don’t consider a bra a treat. That’s more like… tires.

Okay then. Done with the maul for another year or 10. So much nicer to order online or go to cute little shops that are out of the mainstream.

Mugging It Up

Mugs. I like mugs, OKAYYYY? Mugs are great, and not just for the obvious like tea or coffee, though I am drinking coffee out of one at the mo. It may sound like lunacy, but I like having soup and cereal in a mug (not together, derp) ~ much neater than a bowl. I also like ice cream in a mug, especially if it’s trysting with Bailey’s. Mmmbailey’s.

I like unique mugs, such as the ones pictured above. Two are from my daughter: the giraffe in the back and the Chicago one from a HS trip (it has a grammatical error though, lol). The one that says “Fran” my mom bought on a vacay to New Mexico. The silly zoo one I filled with pens and whatnot was also my mom’s. I bought the pink cupcake mug on a trip to the Huntington Gardens in San Marino. I also have a few boring but serviceable mugs that came with my set of dishes from Target.

Note that we’re not talking about dainty lil teacups you set out with fancy cookies for when the duchesses come to visit. Pffft. We’re talking mugs, people.

You might think that 10 mugs is enough for a person who lives alone like a hermit, but I don’t. I asked for more for Christmas (Chanukah really, but I wanted to use the prompt).

So, there you have it. Mugs! 😜🤪🙃

Rolling on a River [SOCS]

Roll does make me think of “rolling on a river” from “Proud Mary,” a song I love. But I also think of rolls, like the kind you eat warm with butter, not that I do much of that. I hardly eat any bread these days, just some boringly healthy whole wheat for the occasional snadwich, not that I’m doing paleo gawd no, but I try to avoid it because eh. Bread. So high in cals & carbs. I love the group Bread though… didn’t I mention that already recently? Those songs break my heart. “If the world should stop revolving…” Kills me. Dead. And there was that line in Young Frankenstein about rolling in the hay, which was hilarious… and I said I was going to rewatch YF at Halloween but I didn’t. I just haven’t been into movies lately. I do want to see Bohemian Rhapsody though. And Mary Poppins. I thought I might talk about role play, but it would just be talk, IYKWIMAITYD.

Yeah, I didn’t do troll and droll and proletariat. Whatever dudes. I’m tired. 😜

Light My Fire [CFFC]

This week’s fun challenge from Cee is all about light. 😎

Painting lighthouses with the fam.

Chanukah lights.

Early morning light.

Sunny & Share

A Guy Called Bloke nominated me for another Sunshine Award! I can only assume that I’m getting all these awards lately because I’m just so gosh-darned cheerful and upbeat all the fricken time. The hills are alive with the sound of meeezick! 🎶

Okay, so here’s the dealio. I’m busy. I work all day and then have a part-time gig and also NaNo. I don’t wanna schlep around tagging peeps, copying links, poasting rules, and coming up with new questions. If you wanna play, just have at it. But if the blog police come around, we don’t know each otter, capice? 😂

That said, I like Rory’s weirdass questions, so I’m gonna answer them.

1. What’s the most fun you have ever had without being under the influence of something or someone?

– Probably when my daughter and I took a quick trip to Seattle and serendipitously found a Chihouly glass garden near the Space Needle and also had incredible sushi (back when I was still eating it).

2. What’s the most fun you have ever had without the obvious, naked?

– Professional massage (almost naked). Love love love them.

3. What’s the most fun you have ever had whilst under the influence of something or someone?

– That one time when a lying liar apologized for being a narcissistic asshole and I got confused or took too many meds or something, so everything was sublime for a very short time, until I had to face reality once again. The end.

4. What’s the stupidist question l have ever asked of you?

– You packed the parachutes, right?

5. What’s the question you want to answer but no one yet, even me has not yet asked you?

– Will you please take this cursed $100M fortune off my hands?! 💰

6. What’s your suggestion for the Christmas Challenge?

– Everyone send gifts to me. I will choose my favorite and write a poem about it.

7. What is the craziest blog you have ever read, and l don’t mean mine?

– That mime guy’s. Couldn’t understand a word he was saying.

8. What is the theory of what is?

– Que sera sera.

9. What is the colour red when mixed with Tripping the Light Fantastic?

– Pistols at dawn.

10. What is the answer to the Dodo, like seriously why?

– Mimi tutu.

11. And finally, what is the answer to this riddle?

– Base two.

Goodbye October!

Seems like you’ve been hanging around a while now. It’s been fun, but like all good things… yada.

Happy Halloween 🎃 to all my blog peeps!

~*~

Big thanks to City Sonnet for the fab month of photo challenges.

Halloween Quiz 🎃

M.M.H.B Challenge – Halloween Quiz

Do you celebrate Halloween?

– Mildly.

If so when do you start decorating for Halloween?

– I don’t decorate at home, but I do make my workspace a bit festive with some shrunken heads n stuff.

What types of candy/sweets do you buy for the Trick and Treaters who may come calling?

– Sadly, no kids come around. Their moms must have heard the rumors about me.

Do you dress up for Halloween?

– If I’m going to an event, definitely. I love costumes.

Fake blood or not into that kind of thing?

– Nahhh. Not into gore. More into funny or clever type costumes.

Do you wear a costume to work, or is that frowned upon?

– They wouldn’t care, but I wouldn’t be comfy in one for the whole day in an office.

If so, what did you go as last year?

– Just a kitty shirt/black pants.

Have you already bought some halloween decorations?

– Only for work.

What was the original name for Halloween?

– Easter.

What do people typically carve at Halloween?

– Pie!

Why were people suspicious of black cats during the Middle Ages?

– Ignorance. Black cats rock!

What fruit is used to play a traditional “bobbing” game at Halloween?

– Eggplant! 🍆 😉

Why did people traditionally dress up in costumes on Halloween?

– To escape from the Czar, probably.

Who first celebrated what we’ve come to know as Halloween?

– Cleopatra.

The most famous witch trials in US history are known as what?

– Senate hearings.

Name the TV series in which Samantha could perform magic by twitching her nose?

– I Dream of Jeannie.

Which ‘witch’ had a hit song in 1970 with ‘That same old feeling’?

– Rhiannon.

Okay! What did I win???

Cannoli Canoe [SOCS]

Can I get through Halloween without eating too much candy? Quite candidly, if it wouldn’t cause a scandal, I’d prefer a cannoli, which I discovered late in life and have not eaten nearly enough of. Boohoo, light a candle. Other peeps may lament the fact that they never joined the mile high club on the flight to Cancun or traveled the Amazon in a canoe, but me I’ll just be whispering on my last breath… I wish I’d eaten another cannoli… send me through the volcano and dump my ashes in a canister… and all the while I’ll be thinking of this pastry filled with bliss. Can you dig it, toucan?

Creepy Questions 😱

From the Blokey Guy… if you want to play, visit his link, but the basic rule is C&P and do not delete any of the questions marked with a P… or else! 🙀☠️👿

Daily Topic Subject – Just Creepy

Q1] Favourite all time creepy monster or villain?

– Rather partial to Johnny Depp’s Barnabas Collins.

Q2] Pumpkin Pie or what is your favorite pie at Halloween?

– I didn’t know we were supposed to eat pie at Halloween ~ I’ll get right on that! Pumpkin sounds good to me, iff it has a graham cracker crust.

Q3] What is something you most assuredly wouldn’t want to bump into in a darkened alleyway?

– Stephen Miller.

Q4] Have you ever dabbled with the dark side .. l don’t mean Bloody Mary either l mean Ouija?

– Not really, but I’m not opposed to it.

PQ5] What’s your most favorite Halloween movie that you just have to watch over, and over and over again every Halloween? [Link Please]

– Young Frankenstein

Q6] Are you superstitious? [How so?]

– Not seriously, but you have to make decisions somehow in a world full of chaos, so having “lucky numbers” and that kind of nonsense isn’t the worst thing unless you do actual harm. Forex, I like to buy 8 things at a time, not 7 or 9. If I have 9 things, I’ll add Tictacs to make 10.

PQ7] If you found yourself trapped in a horror movie which one would it be?

– The one where I keep joining dating sites and meeting crazy men at Starbucks. Oh wait…

Q8] On the subject whilst we are here, have you ever played Bloody Mary?

– I don’t know what that is, so no.

Q9] Oh golly jeepers, you have awoken in the night to hear footsteps in the house .. who you gonna call?

– It’s just my cat, RIGHT? 🐱

Q10] So it’s dark and creepy, and you have just been dared to visit the local Cemetery would you do it?

– No, but not because I’m afraid of ghosts ~ because I’m afraid of humans who might be hanging out there doing drug deals or whatever.

Q11] After watching a scary flick, can you just go to bed, or do you have to do something cheery first?

– I have to leave the lights on!

PQ12] It’s Halloween, you are music master at the party, what are your first five songs going to be played to kick start the night?

– Monster Mash, Spooky, Rhiannon, Witchy Woman, Bad Moon Rising.

Q13]  Favorite all time scary creepy spooky book?

– Stephen King’s The Shining.

Q14] You have been invited to the ultimate Monster Mash party and it’s fancy costume – who are you going as?

– Little Red Writing Hood.

PQ15] Are you doing anything for Halloween this year? If so what?

– Probably the Saturday before but not on the actual day.

Q16] You are a junior witch going onto ‘sleep away camp’, you have to take a familiar with you and your choices are:

Black Cat ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Toad

Owl

Bat

Rat

Critter

What are you going to pick and why?

– Cat because cat.

Q17] You have been chosen to make the tea cakes for the party and they have to look spooky what are you going to make?

– White cakes with red jello drippings all topped with swirls of fleshy pink frosting!

Q18] How old were you when you saw your first horror movie – what was it – provide link?

– My mom and I watched Creature Features in our basement while doing jigsaw puzzles. Saw all sorts of horrible things: monsters ripping off heads in ski lodges, reptiles taking over Florida, beasts eating sailors on submarines, etc. Movies (and books) were never censored for me, which is probably not the best way. BECAUSE NOW LOOK.

Q19] Are you easily scared?

– I can talk myself down from fictional scenes. People are another matter entirely. Anyone who isn’t terrified of the current U.S. gov’t right now is not paying attention.

PQ20] Are you deleting any questions, if so which ones?

– Nopers.

Q21] It’s Halloween, you have three choices which do you pick? Party, Trick or Treating or staying at home curtain closed watching spooky stuff?

– Dismantling the patriarchy. I mean party. Damn autocorrect.