Truthful Tuesday Lemons

PCGuyIV continues his series with the following questions. There have been so many great prompts lately, which is why I’m a couple days late on this one!

When was the last time you had well thought-out plans that got dashed to pieces by circumstances beyond your control? Were you able to “make lemonade” out of the “lemons” life handed you, or did you have to completely step back and regroup?

Last year around this time I was planning to go to Las Vegas with some good friends. I was pretty excited about it, since mostly my vacations are to visit family. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But this would have been different and fun. One friend and I spent an afternoon shopping for some sparkly clothes, and I reserved my hotel room/bought a plane ticket.

Then everything fell apart. 🙁

Even before the trip was officially canceled, I decided not to go because the pandemic info had become scary and unpredictable. Back then, we began freaking out about everything, including groceries. I stayed home from work wondering wtf was going to happen. Were we all gonna die? What about my kids? I also had a plane ticket to visit NorCal in April.

Like everyone else, I adjusted to the new reality of masks and distancing. Never socializing. Working from home or alone. The Vegas hotel refunded my deposit, but idk what will happen to my plane tix. It’s possible I could use one this fall…

I can’t see any upside to the pandemic that has taken half a million American lives and many more around the world. It sucks. No lemonade for us! Just more lemons, lots and lots of lemons.

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Grateful Share

Melanie reached into the Odd Basket for her questions this week…

1. Have you ever ‘butt dialed” someone?  (‘butt dialed’ means have you ever made a phone call that you weren’t aware of making, because the buttons on the phone got pushed by your sitting on them (in your pocket) OR having something in your handbag press against them?)

Only once. I’d been on a dinner date with this guy about 10 years ago and we had a nice time (or so I thought). A couple days later we made plans for a second date, but that night I fell asleep while holding my phone. Apparently since he was the last one I’d spoken to, I “pillow dialed” his number in the night. The nothing call stayed connected for hours ~ he seemed to have picked up but not disconnected, which is odd too. Anyway, I texted him an apology, but he never responded and we didn’t meet again. Maybe I said something scary in my sleep? I will never know…

2. If you were given 1000 acres of land, what would you do with it?

Sell it. I don’t have enough cash to develop property.

3. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on-line recently? 

Dunno about funny, but I just saw a very clever post on FB with celeb in photos at a young age interacting with their current self. Most “funny” things online are only mildly amusing meme rehashes…

4. Have you ever eaten something off the floor?  ‘5 second’ rule applies or not (the ‘5 second rule’ is that if you pick up the dropped food within a set time frame, it’s still ‘clean’ and you can safely eat it)?

Yep/I guess so.

5. Feel free to share your gratitude with everyone in the form of a quote, a thought or an image.

Since I forgot to schedule doctors for my month of lurve, I’ll express gratitude now for all the healers who have helped with my migraines and various other issues.

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Aging & Math [PoiMe]

Something weird is happening to me as I approach the Big Birthday. I used to laugh off the angst people express about bday numbers… when I turned 40, I didn’t care at all. I looked way younger than my age, felt great, and wasn’t fussed a bit.

But then 50 came around. My big deal about turning 50, or so I told myself, wasn’t the number or how I looked (still okay), but how 50 would be perceived by Other People, namely men. At 50, I was still on dating sites and hoping to find my soul mate. It sounds so ridiculous now, but I was. I knew (because they said so) that men in my age range often cut off their search for women in the upper 40s. Even 60 year old men preferred women in their 40s.

I got extremely sick over the weekend of my 50th birthday. I thought it was because I had some ice cream with liquor that Friday night, but it was only an ounce or so and doesn’t explain throwing up for 24 hours. My daughters were taking care of me and were certain the 2-day sickness was a psychological reaction to turning 50. Nah, I said, that’s silly.

But over time I realized they were correct.

Even before I became a grandma, I began to feel old. Besides receiving dramatically less attention on dating sites, I felt achy and tired, increasingly so, and knew I was rapidly looking older. A few years later, I gave up dating completely, figuring that was the end of worrying about age.

Wrong.

I still think about it ~ a lot. Not because of my failure to find a soul mate but because of the whole retirement and death thing looming. While many people live into their 90s now, lots don’t. My parents didn’t. It’s not unreasonable to believe I may have less than 20 years of natural life left (assuming I don’t die much sooner in a dumb accident). That’s pretty daunting.

The mind works in strange ways. Mine keeps screwing up age-related math. I keep forgetting how long ago the 1980s were. It doesn’t seem right. The other day I posted that 1971 was 40 years ago. Today on FB, I couldn’t do the simplest math to find the number one song on my 21st birthday.

It’s really weird. When I’m not actively stressed about aging, I seem to be floating in a bubble of denial. I think I’m actually pretty upset about my birthday, which I’ve been thinking about a lot more than I want to. Might as well admit it. I do feel old. My body hurts all the time and I no longer look younger than my age.

Hopefully after the day passes I’ll be able to shrug off the number. Not looking for compliments, only mutual commiseration from other oldies.

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

5 Cold Comforts

Dr. Tanya continues her #5Things series by asking what are our favorite cold remedies. Here are some things I do to feel better…

1. Medicine. I’m a huge fan of helpful drugs, such as decongestants, ibuprofen, cough drops, etc.

2. Hot tea. I drink this multiple times a day anyway, but it’s especially comforting when I’m sick.

3. Hot soup. I’m not normally much of a soup fan except when sick. Then it’s the best thing in the world. I like Campbell’s chicken soup with big fat noodles or Progresso’s Manhattan clam chowder.

4. Cozy blankets. I’m always cold anyway.

5. Mindless TV. When I’m not feeling well, I want to cuddle up in a blanket, drink hot tea, and watch dumb romcoms.

That’s it! Stay well, peeps. 💕

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Donuts & Covid [villanelle]

I have to get a Covid test
At the clinic by the donut shop.
It’s making me feel absurdly stressed.

Not the donuts—they’re the best,
But I won’t be able to make a stop
After I get my Covid test.

I’ll just go home and read and rest,
Not expose peeps to what I’ve got.
Donuts would help to ease my stress.

I probably don’t have the thing—I guess.
But better to know for sure than not.
That’s why I’m getting a Covid test.

I feel a heaviness in my chest
Since I found out I might have caught
The thing that’s making me feel this stress.

No donuts for me—now I’m depressed,
Just thinking ‘bout that glaze on top…
I have to get a Covid test;
It’s making me feel absurdly stressed.

~*~

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Good Riddance 2020

Welp, the last day of 2020 began fittingly. I went to bed early last night and then was wide awake at 2AM, so I doubt if I’ll be able to stay up until midnight tonight to kick 2020 all the way out the door unless I manage to take a nap. 😴

What a poopshow, amirite? Wish we could purge the whole thing from our memories, except for the part about my adorable grandson being born. I am not a fan of playing games over Zoom, though it’s better than nothing. Oh, somehow I managed to “lock” the keyboard of my new laptop, which sent me into a towering rage before dawn. I had to google on my phone how to unlock it, but that didn’t help, so I restarted. I don’t understand why turning off and on fixes stuff, but wev. It’s always the last thing I think of, even after all this time. I am typing this on my laptop now, so all is good until my next meltdown.😜

I’m no stranger to making resolutions, but like most people I don’t stick to mine, so why bother? The only thing special about tomorrow is the psychological aspect regarding the year number… nothing really changes. We are still in this plague, still have to wear masks, not socialize, not eat in restaurants, yada yada. I have flight credits, but they’ll likely expire before I’m all vaxxed up. 🙁

I made a new Facebook account in April after staying away for over 2 years, and while it’s nice to reconnect with peeps WHO DON’T READ MY BLOG, that’s the only thing good about it. So much repetitive bitching and boringness otherwise. I have never understood why people feel a need to link to news articles there or quote massively from them as if we can’t find CNN for our own damn selves. It’s not like the news isn’t in our faces 24/7 every time we log on to any device. It’s so irritating!

I have been trying not to read the political stuff on FB, or participate in it, same as on Medium and here in blogland, though sometimes it’s impossible to resist. Occasionally I retweet political stuff I agree with, but I don’t comment, even when trolled. It’s still a big waste of time. I guess if I were going to have a goal for 2021, it would be to read even fewer political posts and articles than I do now. There is nothing to be gained from it and every time I spend an hour reading that crap, there goes a poem that might have been written or read. I think of it this way ~ poetry can bring beauty into this world (or at least attempt to do so), while political jabber only ever takes away from beauty. It’s all stinky trash.

So yeah… the ending of this awful year hasn’t made me feel especially galvanized to take bold action to shake up my life. There’s really nothing much I can do at this point, except keep on keeping on. And you know what? That is good enough. I’ve long since abandoned the notion of perfection, as if that’s even remotely possible to attain, and while my habits can be tweaked for the better, I’m pretty okay with my mediocrity. I look forward to doing exciting things again, such as having a veggie quesadilla inside a restaurant at a table with friends and playing a board game in person afterwards. Yeah baby. Take me back to 2019, when we didn’t know how good we had it. I suppose that’s a “privileged” thing to say, but at least I acknowledge this.

Last Share of 2020!

Melanie has given us some brain-crunchy end-of-year questions today. Can’t wait to see 2020 slinking out the door with its tail between its legs. BUH-BYE!

1. Pick three words to describe this past year.   (please keep them PG. Thanks). ~ scary, sad, lonely.

2. What were the best books you read this year?   Or the best movie you saw?  ~ I read several good books this year. When We Believed In Mermaids by Barbara O’Neal was probably my favorite. I also enjoyed the weird movie Vivarium on Amazon Prime.

3. Because there was lots of time for looking inward, what is one big personal lesson you learned this past year? ~ to not be so judgmental. Everyone is imperfect, including me. I thought I would accomplish so much during all this down time, but it turns out I’m not that disciplined and chronic pain depletes my energy. I have given myself the gift of not being so hard on myself. It’s okay if I don’t exercise or write as much as I planned to, or at all. It’s okay just to get through the day sometimes, even if I’ve wasted most of it playing games on my phone.

4. Do you think Covid has strengthened or weakened societal bonds? ~ Neither. People are as they always have been. Everyone says they will cherish their family time more after this is over and blah blah blah, but as soon as we’re all vaxed, people will behave the same as they did before. In fact, they still are, if you consider how horrible people are treating each other online over politics, mask-wearing, and every other thing.

---

GRATITUDE SECTION (Optional of course):

What is a New Year’s Wish You’d Like To Share With the World? I wish people would quit being such assholes to each other and reacting with rage when others have different ideas and desires. Why do you care if gays get married or some dude decides he’s a woman or a woman wants to terminate a pregnancy? Leave them alone and live your own life!

Outstanding!

The lovely Sadje has nominated me for the Outstanding Blogger Award! Thank you so much, Sadje. It’s nice to be appreciated. As per my award policy, I choose to answer the questions only.

1. How did the Covid-19 affect your life?
   I feel luckier than most. My work and income have not been affected (so grateful for this), and I have been able to stay pretty isolated from people and minimize my risk. The worst thing for me is that I’ve hardly seen my daughters and their families, and I miss them so much. I also miss friends/movies/restaurants, but that hasn’t been as big of a deal as not seeing my daughters in person.
   
2. What one special thing would you like to do for the world?
   Wave my magic wand and clean up all the garbage everywhere so we and the animals we share the planet with can have clean, healthful air, water, and land to live on.
   
3. It’s almost the end of the year, what one thing do you want to accomplish before saying goodbye to 2020?
   I have already accomplished my goal for 2020: finish writing my novel Ghosted and publish it on Amazon for Kindle.
   
4. What do you look most forward to in 2021?
   Seeing my family in person, selling the books I’ve written, becoming a popular writer on Medium.
   
5. What is your favorite song of all time?
   It varies with my mood. The ones that hold the top spots are “Hotel California” by the Eagles, “This Guy’s In Love With You” by Burt Bacharach (Oasis has a great version too), “If You Could Read My Mind” by Gordon Lightfoot, “Landslide” by Stevie Nicks, and “Into The Mystic” by Van Morrison (the entire Moondance album really).
   
6. What one book would you recommend to everyone?
   Where I’m Calling From by Ray Carver has something for everyone.
   
7. What one question would you like to ask me?
   Have you bought Ghosted yet? 😀
   
   

5 Guilty Pleasures

Dr. Tanya continues her 5Things prompt series by asking us to name our favorite guilty pleasure foods. 😋

Disclaimer: I try not to think of foods as bad or good because of eating disorder issues. I don’t want to feel guilty if I eat something yummy and then spiral into believing I’m a bad person for it. That’s a recipe for disaster. However, in general, there are foods I try to limit because even though they are tasty, I want to stay healthy.

1. Ooey gooey pizza!

2. Five Guys mushroom cheeseburger with extra crispy fries!

3. Cheesecake! Hmm, I’m sensing a theme…

4. Fish & chips with tartar sauce!

Image credit to Simply Delicious Food

5. Peanut butter cups!

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

5 Healthy Noms

Dr. Tanya continues her prompt series by asking us to list our 5 favorite foods that are good for us too.

Blueberries (1) and mango (2). These sweet, delicious fruits contain Vitamin C, potassium, antioxidants, and other nutrients.

Besides being yummy, avocado (3) has loads of vitamins, minerals, and healthy fat.

Sweet potatoes (4) are full of vitamins, minerals, and healthy fiber. They are also super tasty and an excellent vehicle for other veggies!

Eggs (5) are a great source of protein and can be cooked in all sorts of versatile ways.

I know it seems like I eat only cookies and cake, but in fact I rarely do. I just like talking about them. Any of the above healthy noms are more likely to appear on my plate. 😋 Not the kittens obv, though a feline or two is usually lurking about…

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.