Category Archives: Dreams

Elysium

Woman with hummingbird

I dreamt you were a hummingbird,

Your bejeweled wings a blur,

With eternal secrets hidden

Under your trembling feathers.

I prayed that you would see me,

As you danced among the gardens,

But you were swallowed by the sun.

I flung off my heavy shawl

And flew over these stone walls,

Searching for Elysium.

~*~

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See 37.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

20 Questions

These are from Melanie, who got them from Fandango, in two separate posts, but she reworded some, and then added more to make a better number, as you do, so are they her questions or his questions?

Bitmoji shrug

Let me know what you decide, okay? In the meantime, imma answer the questions…

1. Okay, you write a blog, so do you also play word games of any kind?

Yes, all of them. Not at the same time, of course, but if it’s a word game, I’ve likely tried it, or some variation. Right now, on my phone, I have Wordscapes, which has pretty backgrounds and relaxing sounds. It’s too easy though.


2. Do you have any other type of creative outlet besides writing? Art, sewing, photography, jewelry making, etc.?

I’ve done all of that. I used to love baking and cake decorating. I also did lots of needlework pictures and pillows. I tried to start a tee shirt painting biz but got a hurty wrist and had to stop. My hands are achy lately, so I haven’t been doing any crafts at all. 😢

3. Do you listen to anything while you write or does it need to be quiet?

I prefer quiet.

4. Are you an avid book reader?

I go in phases. This year I’ve only read 19 books so far.

Bitmoji with book in beanbag chair

5. Name a country you would love to visit if the world wasn’t shut down because of the virus.

England.


6. Have you ever written a poem about someone and gave it to them?

Yes, as jokes and seriously. I’ve also written loads of poems about people that I haven’t shown them. Here’s my favorite one.

7. Is there an author (living or dead) that you would love to sit down and talk to for an hour?

Margaret Atwood.

8. Have you ever met a fellow blogger or interacted off WordPress?

I’ve met a few.

9. Cake or pie?

Yes, please… coconut cake / cherry pie.

10. Coffee or tea?

Coffee in the morning / tea the rest of the day.


11. What is the strangest movie you have ever seen?

When I was 11, my parents took me to see Greaser’s Palace in NYC, which traumatized me. I still think about it occasionally.


12.  What lessons have you learnt from C-19?

Nothing, except to double down on what I was already inclined to do.

13. What values do you live by?

Family first. Prioritize work and my peace of mind. Try to tune out the negativity and craziness of other people.

Bitmoji in meadow

14. What is your favorite movie?

Doctor Zhivago.

15. Whom have you loved unconditionally?

Only my children.

16. Your dreams in life?

Happy, healthy children. Being financially secure. Writing a lot!

17.   Do you like citrus flavoring?

Yes to lemon and lime. Not a fan of orange usually. Pineapple is good with coconut.

18.   What is your remedy for the hiccups?

Holding my breath.

19.   Are you lucky?

I think “luck” happens when I’m careful to avoid doing stupid things. So, it depends on the day… 🤣🍀

20.   Barefoot or wearing something on your feet?

I like socks!

~*~

Images from Bitmoji.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

PFF49: Mom

Flashback Friday

Welcome to Paula’s Friday Flashback! This is a challenge begun by Fandango and it’s fun to see what we posted back when (as well as the comments). The post below is a reblog of a post I made exactly 7 years ago. A little caveat ~ the post sounds negative, but I miss and love my mother immensely.

Hello Mother

I had a dream about Mom the other night. She had made a Great Gatsby tee shirt for me ~ it was dark blue, short sleeved, with white paint squiggles all over that were supposed to be fluffy clouds. Don’t ask me. In the dream, it looked right.

I had shown someone one of my scrapbook photo albums last week and was thinking about my long ago days of arts & crafts. Not sure if this prompted the dream, or what.

A little while ago I opened my Chrome browser (I’ve been using Firefox mostly) and noticed that my old bookmarks were still there, including Baggage Reclaim, my favorite relationship site. The first article was about how some of us struggle to please certain people who have impossible demands and how that’s a never-ending spiral of futility.

The first Unpleasable in your life tends to be that exacting and critical parent or caregiver and if your perspective on their behaviour and how you respond to it hasn’t changed in adulthood, you’re likely to have felt tormented by a similar boss, ‘friend’ or romantic partner. [link]

As always, very interesting bloggery from Natalie, and just in time for Mother’s Day too.

/end reblog

~*~

Image from Pexels.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Wishful Thinking

Last night I dreamt of you

And spiraled down into darkness.

Memories began to play,

Triggering a sad monsoon.

But I didn’t fall apart again;

The storm was only a squall.

When I flung open the doors,

Sunshine vanquished my pain.

~*~

Image from lovethispic.com.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Dreamless

You are here

I fell asleep on the bus again,
Or maybe I dreamt I fell
Asleep on the bus.
When I woke
The sky was lavender,
And my hands were cold.
I gathered my things–
Apparently I had shopped–
And maneuvered past
The octopus of legs spread
Across the floor.
These buildings were familiar,
Yet stood asymmetrically
On streets with strange names,
As if a child had flung
All the parts to a game
Haphazardly across a board.
I asked a man for our address,
But he stared uncomfortably.
My words made no sense;
They scattered like coins.
My bag grew too heavy–
I stopped and peeked in.
There were luscious red fruits
That smelled of ripe flesh,
Orchids, and death. Spiders
Danced on their mottled skin.
I left the bag on a bench:
My burdens, my sins.
Soon after, I turned a corner
And found our house, perfect
And clean, but you were gone.
I lay down on our bed,
Falling,
Falling into
A dreamless sleep.

~*~

What Do You See? (Sadje’s #24)

Image from Pexels.

A friend in a poetry workshop shared this challenge with me from a few weeks ago: write a poem with only one fantastical element. “Dreamless” is my response. The one element of magical realism is the image of familiar houses placed crookedly on streets with strange names.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon

PFF44: Baby Dreams

Friday Flashback

Welcome to Paula’s Friday Flashback! This is a challenge begun by Fandango and it’s fun to see what we posted back when (as well as the comments). The post below is a reblog of a post I made exactly 9 years ago.

Baby Dreams

The other week I had a very odd dream about a baby — a couple I know had a premature baby and I was trying to feed it with a bottle. The baby was so tiny, which made this very difficult, as the bottle was normal-sized. They said keep trying, it’s OK.

And then last night I had another baby dream, though I barely remember this one except the baby was regular-sized.

I visited a dream site to see what these dreams might mean and was happy to discover…

Generally in dreams babies represent your creativity, your ability to give birth to new ideas; the things that you have conceived in your mind and either do, or do not, produce and allow to develop. [Meaning of Dreams ~ site 404’d]

This is cool because I’ve been writing a lot lately.

/end reblog

~*~

Image from Pexels.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

FPQ60: Otters

Fandango’s provocative question

Fandango provocatively asks… how we met our significant otter, or if we don’t have an SO, how we met our last one. My last otter wasn’t “significant” in the sense of being a long-term relationship (a few months of contact); but it was important in the sense that it marked the end of my dating days.

I met this guy ~ let’s call him “Michael” ~ via a dating site in 2016 after I took a break from dating. I had created a hidden profile and impulsively went live with it while at the Los Angeles County Fair because I was in a optimistic mood while hanging out with friends. What a fun day that was!

Anyway, I met a few guys who were meh and then Michael. I don’t want to say a lot about Michael right now or the specifics of our time together because that emphasizes what happened (and encourages people to give advice 🙄), when the crucial aspect is the totality of my dating experiences.

You’ve heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back, right? Well, I’m the camel in this scenario and these guys were straws, none of them that important, certainly not Michael. But he was the last one, and I did break. Before him, I met a bunch of lying liars, all in different disguises, and he was a lying liar too… wrapped up in a disguise I hadn’t seen before. But still he was the same as the rest, and when I understood this I was finished with it all.

I fell into a depression, not because of him, but over the loss of the dream/fantasy that I would find someone. For decades, I had nurtured this dream, fed it romance novels and love songs and Meg Ryan romcoms. I truly thought I would have the happily ever after, my soul mate, my eternal flame. Giving it up left a huge void of darkness. I cried all the time. It was hard to sleep or I slept too much. Negative thought spirals took control of my mind and refused to let go. It took about a year and a half for me to get better.

Believe them the first time

But getting better is an ongoing process, and it does not include dating. I know people mean well when they encourage me to try again or say nice things about meeting someone, but part of my healing is coming to terms with the fact that this is not going to happen and that part of my life is over. I can’t allow myself to be subject to the agendas of liars and narcissists again; I can’t put myself in the position of being harassed and stalked by whiners and bullies when I don’t do what they want. It’s too traumatic and stressful to think about. I’m getting shaky even typing the words.

I realized that dating sites themselves were a huge part of the problem for me. They attract the worst sorts of men (whether pay sites or not), and the older you are the worse it gets. The men were significantly sh*ttier when I was on at age 55 than when I was 50. They acted like they were doing me a favor by even saying hello, like I should be grateful for their attention. I get that other women are able to ignore the jerkos and focus on finding the prize in the pile of poo, but that’s really hard for me. I am affected by comments from jerkos. That’s why I like to preemptively block them here and on Twitter when I can. 👻

So, when anyone asks for my opinion of dating sites, I tell them that they all suck. If you enjoy becoming a product/commodity and having a people look you over for your features as if you’re a TV on Amazon and reject you for a better deal, then maybe you will enjoy the sites. Not me.

Besides, we shouldn’t meet anyone now anyway. Who knows how often they wash their hands? Back to cybersex! 😍

~*~

Images from Fandango and Google.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

With Nets Of Wonder

Love is in da blog

Happy February! I’m participating in Bee’s fun music challenge again and hope you’ll join in (you don’t have to play every day).

Today’s theme is a love song from when we started school ~ I assume kindergarten. For me, this was 1966 and there were a ton of love songs around. I’m choosing a sweet fave by Bob Lind: “Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love.” 🦋

I guess it could be viewed a bit stalkerish by today’s standards, just like “Every Breath You Take,” and lots of romcoms too. What’s up with Harry leaving all those messages on Sally’s answering machine anyway? She told him to get lost!

~*~

Written for Love Is In Da Blog Day 22.

Image credit to Happy Color.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Silent Siren

Siren on the rocks at sunset

The silent siren sits alone, her seductive song long lost to the ravages of time and salt.

Yet the one she waits for hears the melody of her aching heart and sails toward those jagged rocks.

He arrives under a storm-bruised sky, the sea swirling in confusion, only to find the dream he followed was a dark illusion.

~*~

Written for Three Line Tales 212

~*~

Image credit to Unsplash.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Stars Fill My Dream

Love is in da blog

Happy February! I’m participating in Bee’s fun music challenge again and hope you’ll join in (you don’t have to play every day).

Today’s theme is a song for our first love and before I could choose a song, I had to figure out who exactly counted as my first love. Was it my first boyfriend, who was an ass, but we exchanged ILY regardless? Or my second one, who was great, but I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship right then? After some pondering, I went with Guy 2…

We had a wonderful time together, and I regret a lot of things, especially that even when we reconnected during my divorce I was too stressed out to be a good friend. I doubt he’ll ever see this post, but “Kashmir” was playing one summer afternoon in his car in Chicago when we were happy. I can recall that feeling of being in love and not having a world of burdens upon me… and gorgeous music floating all around in the sunshine. I found this beautiful video today to match the feeling of the words. I hope you’ll listen and watch. ❤️

~*~

Written for Love Is In Da Blog Day 4.

Image credit to Happy Color.

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.