TGIF ~ Loneliness


Happy Friday.

And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I’ve lived till now
I tell them “I don’t know”

I’ve felt kinda lonely this week, not sure why. Partly it’s due to missing our little Tiger, which means I’m extra super duper grateful for Gatsby’s good health (x’ing fingers), and partly it’s due to the shorter days. There’s something about turning my headlights on during my commute home that makes me think ugh it’s winter again, how depressing, even if it’s still 90 freaking degrees outside.

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

The darkening days make me more inclined to hibernate in my house and do nothing socially with other people, which isn’t good for me if that goes on too long. Luckily, I have some nice plans, one of which includes seeing my eldest daughter tomorrow. But I do think about the holidays coming up and how much I miss my mom. I also miss what I never had: a big, loving, close family, who always have each other no matter what. I was blessed with my wonderful girls, fab sons-in-law, and now my sweet grands, so I am thankful for them ~ we’re a small group, but we have lots of love!

And yes I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won’t set me free
But I don’t let the evening get me down
Now that you’re around me

I’ll be honest: something about winter gets me down, which is related to my failure to find “my person” and create and maintain a romantic, lifetime relationship. Summer is fun and there are lots of activities to distract me from thinking about this topic, but as fall trundles on toward the holidays, couples are so couple-ish that it’s difficult not to mourn this particular aspect of my life, even if I wouldn’t want it if it appeared now. It’s a weird thing. I wish I could have found “my person,” but it’s too late at this point ~ I simply do not want to compromise on anything or tolerate some man telling me what to do (and you know they would).

And you love me too
Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free
I’m happy that you do

My life is so much better without all that drama. And yet… and yet… I still think about it at this time of year especially. What about you? Lonely, not lonely, weekend plans, no plans? Respond in the comments or link back from your own post. Feel free to use the spiffy image that Fandango found, if you like.

I sprinkled lyrics from “And I Love You So” (written by Don McLean for his 1970 debut album Tapestry) throughout this post, and there are three versions that I know of. If you have time, please rate them in order. Here’s mine:

Don McLean (third)

Perry Como (second)

Elvis Presley (first)

©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

41 responses to “TGIF ~ Loneliness

  1. Beautifully written Paula. I hope you’ve a lovely day with your daughter. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Did something happen to Tiger?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Awww, that is so sad.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I think it’s the time of year for grieving. The growing darkness, I grieve more at this time of year too. For something I once had but no longer, not a relationship but my health and vitality. I am mostly content with my life but this time of year when my joints ache and chronic illness steps up it’s irritating efforts, I dream of adventures that will not be had and … well that’s it. Big cyber hugs, have a great time with your daughter. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Winter makes me want to hibernate too.

    I used to be lonely all the time before I was with E. I think some of it came from thinking I was too weird to ever be in a relationship. Having most of my social contact online didn’t help.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Thank you for sharing. A person can get lonely at this time of year because it is so dark. That can happen if you have a big family around you. Rooster and I will attend our great-granddaughter’s first birthday party this weekend. There will be a lot of our family there, but there is always a situation where one or more of the kids aren’t getting along. Sibling rivalry never ends.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Same. When te damn clocks change , it gets dark by 430… Depressing.

    It’s so important to keep active and social outside of the house, yada yada and yet… Do I do it? Nope. 🙄

    Maybe we can encourage each other and be accountable. It can’t be that hard to not become a hermit for 6 months. 🙃

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Winter is a challenge on so many levels. I hear you. Living here where sub-zero is actually a real thing and not a euphemism for chilly. I sure can appreciate how the cold affects…everything.
    Hope your time with your eldest is full of joy. 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

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  10. I feel you about the shorter days – the end of October and beginning of November are always hardest for me, in part due to this. So sorry to hear about Tiger.

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  11. You know me…

    1. Perry Como
    2. Elvis
    3. Don McLean

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  12. 1. Don McLean
    2. Elvis
    3. Perry Como

    Elvis went way up in my estimation as of a few months ago because I saw that Baz Luhrmann movie.

    My favourite Don McLean album is still BELIEVERS which I heard on tape back in April 1998. Especially CASTLES IN THE AIR and I TUNE THE WORLD OUT.


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  14. Don McLean and Carole King both release an album called Tapestry within a year? Who knew?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Dang, that song needs a trigger warning. I know it has a happy ending but getting there is… too relatable. Probably shouldn’t have listened to all three versions in one go but I did. My ranking is the same as yours, and now that that is off my chest, back to my regularly scheduled life (which is fine). Enjoy yours!

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  16. I have that problem too, I can get quiet comfortable quiet quickly if I don’t get out during Winter.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I can’t listen because, like Keera, it’s a crying trigger for me. Even as I type this my eyes are getting moist!
    The holidays this year will probably make me extra lonely for obvious reasons.
    I was still hoping beyond hope that my eldest would not be visiting my idiot ex over the holidays but she and SIL will be driving to TN to visit her in-laws and will stop over in my old home. I think she’s still reluctant to have much to do with him and (wife) #4, maybe because she seems to be so “Christian” while we, including the three-time loser I was married to, were not.
    Meanwhile, since both girls wanted me here, we will all be getting together for a meal sometime around Thanksgiving. At first, I wanted to have our historically traditional meal, including a favorite recipe from my late former mother-in-law. However, on second thought and given that Melissa prepared an untraditional meal for an earlier Thanksgiving, I reached the conclusion that it would be less emotional and easier for me if both girls and their significant others and I begin to establish some new traditions for ourselves so I’m looking forward, with only a small degree of trepidation, to see what we can all come up with together.

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