After the shock of seeing the amount of his latest electricity invoice wore off, Ted decided that, in order to save energy going forward, he would… become a vampire. Since he worked at home anyway, choosing his own hours to create marketing copy for travel agencies, he could easily do so by moonlight instead of powering up during daylight hours when energy rates were highest. His salary wasn’t the greatest, but he vastly preferred working on his own to making more money at a corporation where one was required to make constant inane chitchat with fellow employees and suck up to managers. Ted now realized that his introverted, reclusive personality was perfect for his new lifestyle as a vampire, and in a roundabout way he had the electric company’s gouging to thank for that epiphany.
But where to meet a lovely female vampire to assist in his transition? Naturally, being somewhat of a techie, Ted turned to the personal ads, bypassing traditional dating sites for Mystical Match. Here, one could peruse profiles from witches, genies, werewolves, and even some of the minor gods. Ted set his filters to female vampires only, up to 500 years old, as one needed to have some standards, and within a thousand miles. He figured if he connected with the right vamp, she’d have no issue with transforming into a bat or something and flying to him. After all, it was an honor for them to switch someone over.
In no time at all, Ted met Tanya, who was happy to leave her stifling basement apartment in the city for Ted’s home in the ‘burbs. She particularly liked his huge basement, protected from the sun, where they could hang out and watch old movies when they weren’t snoozing during daytime. After his transition, Ted spent most nights working harder than ever in order to pay for all the furniture and what-not Tanya was ordering, but he was happy to have her there. Until today.
“Tanya!” Ted shrieked when he saw his latest invoice from the electric company. “This is three times that huge bill I told you about. What’s going on?”
She shrugged. “It’s probably that huge refrigerator system I had installed. How else are we to keep our blood fresh? I’m certainly not going to go out hunting every night when I’ve gotten hooked on Downton Abbey.”
“You’ve been running the air conditioning all day too,” Ted complained. “Look at this!”
“I’m going through the change,” she said, baring her teeth. “Stop criticizing me.”
Ted began to think he had made a terrible mistake.
©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.
Written for Fandango’s Story Starter 59.