Eww Dating

couple skating ice winter

Lauren continues the Throwback Thursday series today by asking about our early dating experiences. Barf! I mean, great, let’s get this done (she says grimly).

1) On your very first date, did you do the asking, or were you asked out?

For all my jabbering on about dating, I have happily blanked out most of my early experiences. THANKS A LOT for making me think about them now. Ish. (Kidding. I enjoy most of these throwback questions.) To the best of my recollection, my first official “date” was a set-up with a friend of a friend’s boyfriend. So no one asked, exactly. And like all dating experiences to follow, it was horrible.

2) Were you typically stressed out before a first date? Did things seem to be easier the more you dated the same person?

Yes, dating completely stressed me out, from age 16 to 56, when I quit. Gah, 40 years! No, it didn’t get easier and I rarely dated the same person, lol. Hmm, maybe that was part of the problem…

shrug woman

3) What did you do to prepare for the date? Did you wear new clothes, or special outfits?

I often bought something new for “good luck,” until the end (2017) when I ceased to give a crap. I did the normal fussing and primping with hair, makeup, nails, etc.

4) How did you meet those first dates? Were your dates with friends of a family member, or friends of a friend?

No family members were involved in my dating life (insert Kentucky joke). My early dating was with friends of friends or coworkers or random hookups with total strangers. Then I discovered personal ads. Disaster, all of it, as I have been saying!

Cat walking away explosion fire

5) Did you have a curfew on those early dates? Did you typically arrive home on time or were you constantly breaking curfew?

My “curfew” was silly, like 2am or something, which no one else had, so I was always home way before that. My parents were pretty liberal about everything, maybe too much so. I probably was also with my daughters. People need rules and boundaries! They really do.

6) Did your parents insist on meeting whomever you dated?

No. See?

7) Where did you usually go when on a date? (movies, concerts, picnics, etc.)

Movies, mostly, or just to dinner or to hang at someone’s house. These early dates were in Illinois, where it was generally too blizzardy to do outdoor stuff. Picnic, lol.

8) Did the boy/man always pay for the date or did you go Dutch treat?

I’m old and from a time when men/boys paid for dates. I never questioned this or offered to pay in the early days, which may be right or wrong, I don’t know. Later, after my divorce, it was a whole new world with men often expecting the woman to offer to pay or go half (are we still allowed to say Dutch?), so I started doing that, but it was annoying, awkward, and not the least bit romantic. But I get it. If you’re an older man and have been dating forever, then why invest much (time, money, etc.) in someone new until you know it could work out? That seems to be the current mindset for everyone, which sucks because you never feel special when you know you’re just one in a long string of failures. Hence, the “coffee meetup,” which isn’t really a date at all but more like a job interview. Yuck!

Couple silhouette romance

9) Were you typically the talker or the listener on a date?

Early on, I didn’t talk that much (hard to believe, I realize), which made for a lot of awkward silences and extra nervousness. Later, I learned to jabber on about nothing as a way to cover my anxiety. Men either talked too much or not enough, same as me. We’re all terrible at this. Well, most of us. I’m sure some of my dear readers are wonderful dates.

10) What did you do if the date clearly wasn’t going well? (feign a headache, ask to go home, end the date early, etc.)

All of the above. My headaches are never feigned though! If I am having fun, I can forget about pain (except for a migraine), but since dates usually were not fun…

11) A connection from the past to the present, if applicable. How long did you date your current partner before marriage?

Ugh, marriage. Like dating but he gets to wreck your credit score. I dated my first hubby (1985/6) around 8 months before we eloped to Vegas. That actually was fun! I dated my second one around a year before we got married (1987/8). I would like to say here that neither wedding included a wedding cake, which I believe now is a very bad omen for the success of a relationship. Two examples = hard science!

12) Bonus Question: Care to share a disaster first date??????

Ha ha ha ha. How much time do you have?

I guess my favorite dating disaster story was the time I drove into Los Angeles, on a Friday night, to meet this random guy who was allegedly a movie director and said I was a great writer (that always gets me). If you know the freeways here, you already can sense that this was horrible as it took me over 2 hours to go the 40 miles. Anyway, he was a total jerk, made me cry, and then had me pay for half of our awful Chinese food. It could have been worse; he could have murdered me.

My last semi-relationship ended in 2016 with an exit interview in 2017 whereupon he informed me that he had paid for all the dates (even though I offered several times to split, get tickets, etc., and he refused), but I had never baked chocolate chip cookies for him. Also, I was 3 years older and that made him feel icky.

Thank God I am done with all this.

©️2022 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted.

23 responses to “Eww Dating

  1. Thanks for joining on Paula, even though this is not your favorite subject. Sorry you dated some real jerks. An exit interview sounds like a painful experience. I am ten years older than my spouse. In the beginning it bothered me way more than it did him. Then it didn’t matter to either of us.

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  2. re exit interview, I learned from her brother later that she told him I never bought her any presents. Funny what some people think is meaningful somehow. I seriously would have bought her presents if I had only known. That would have been a mistake, of course, but then, I made lots of mistakes, so . . .

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  3. I’d like to add to your no cake stats. I also had no cake and my marriage was not great. Science 🤓 💯
    I haven’t been on a date since high school. I wouldn’t even know how to navigate now. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have time or desire to date.😂😂😂

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  4. Whoa. Not fun

    Sent from my iPhone


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  5. I have to add to your cake stats. Rooster and I didn’t have a cake either, but the marriage has lasted 48 years. You shouldn’t count us because we are weird. That’s why we’ve stuck together.

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  6. Aw, I’m so sorry you’ve had all these bad dating experiences, but your stories do make me laugh the way you tell them. By the way, my first date was a “coffee date” and most of my dates with my husband afterwards were (even when we were officially a couple), so I’d like to respectfully disagree with your notion that these are like job interviews.

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  7. Wow, l can tell you miss it, the fun, the adventure, the drama llama dingadongalongs, the disasters ….. 🙂

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  8. This was so fun to read. Your voice is hilarious. I kinda want to respond to some of these questions on my own blog.

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  9. I didn’t date much. I didn’t even go on a date until I was twenty-seven! I don’t have many really bad dating stories, although much of what dating I did do was “atypical” dating (long-distance Skype dating, pandemic dating (outdoors in winter)). E and I haven’t actually dated much in a conventional way because of the long-distance nature of our relationship, we’ve just had a lot of Skype calls.

    I do have one funny story, it was actually the first date I had with my first girlfriend. We had been emailing on a dating site and were meeting for the first time. We were in a restaurant and I was nervous and really quiet and I think she was nervous and talking a lot. She had a very long fringe that flopped over her face and every few seconds she would toss her head to flick the fringe back into place. After a few minutes of me sitting in silence and her talking and flicking her head, she suddenly said to me, “Well, say something!” and my mind blanked and all I could think to say was, “Could you please do something with your hair?” We stayed together for eight months, though.

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