Welcome to my refreshed Monday Peeve! Unburden yourself of an annoyance and you’ll feel better afterward. Or not. Complain in my comments or crab in your own post. Doesn’t have to be on a Monday. You do you.
Today’s peeve is very subtle. You know how you count on your friends (and family) for emotional support, especially when you’re feeling like crap? Sure, we’ve all been there. But there’s something insidious about a friend insisting that ALL IS WELL and YOU ROCK when you’re trying to discuss a poor decision you made. It’s almost like they’re refusing to listen to you. Nope, nope, you had a LEARNING EXPERIENCE and now YOU’RE AWESOME! Oh, ffs, shut up with that already. I’m trying to take responsibility for my actions, and they sucked. I made bad choices. I want to explore that and try to learn and grow. I don’t need your pom-poms in my face going RAH RAH YOU ARE GREAT WOO HOO! Stop it already.
The reason it is subtle is because no one wants a friend to go omg you make the dumbest choices. I can’t believe how stupid you are. Why are you such an idiot? Obviously, someone who would say those things is not a friend, and the one in the mirror needs to cool it too. But on the other hand, your feelings still need to be validated, not dismissed, and not pooh-poohed over with phony compliments. It’s possible to say something like yeah that wasn’t your finest hour… how are you feeling about it now? Or what do you think you need to do to ensure that doesn’t happen again? It takes some finesse and thought to get this right. But a real friend will put in that effort.
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