Do you see a difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? If so, in what way are they different? If not why do you feel settling and accepting are the same?
I feel they are two sides of the same coin, to use a horrible cliché. Each can be applied to a particular non-optimal situation and which one actually is used will depend upon your point of view (which can change day to day, as moods sometimes do). Does that make sense? Here’s an example from my “real life.”
I have a whole bunch of books available on Amazon KDP that hardly sell. This means that all my beautiful words in those books, my finely crafted sentences, my funny/snarky dialog, etc. get very little attention, boo hoo hoo. So to get attention for my writing, I blog. Am I settling for blogging? I might look at it that way when I’m feeling down. I might say, dammit, I put so much energy into those books and now I just goof around on a blog because it’s too hard to sell anything. Wah wah wah. Mostly I don’t view it that way though. I accept that I have no talent/desire to market and no special contacts in the biz, so I am thrilled that blogging even exists as a venue for expressing myself in front of an audience. Yay!
I try to remind myself to look at the positive side (acceptance) rather than the negative (settling) for as many areas of life as I can. I have chronic pain issues, which means my activities are somewhat limited and I need to be more careful than others even when I’m having fun. I could get depressed about this (and I have) by thinking I have to settle for a lesser life, or I could accept the reality that I am different from those who always feel physically well and be grateful for the stuff I am able to do.
Sometimes I get bummed out that I failed to find my “soul mate” and have to settle for a life without any romantic possibility, but then again is it really so bad? If I accept that not everyone finds their “person” and now I can focus on all the things I like to do without worrying about pleasing someone else, well, hey, that’s pretty nice. Usually, I can talk myself into this state of mind, and as more time passes the easier it gets. Lemons to lemonade, I say, to end as I began with a terrible cliché.
Image from Pixabay.
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