That Settles That! [fpq]


Fandango provocatively asks:

Do you see a difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? If so, in what way are they different? If not why do you feel settling and accepting are the same?

I feel they are two sides of the same coin, to use a horrible cliché. Each can be applied to a particular non-optimal situation and which one actually is used will depend upon your point of view (which can change day to day, as moods sometimes do). Does that make sense? Here’s an example from my “real life.”

I have a whole bunch of books available on Amazon KDP that hardly sell. This means that all my beautiful words in those books, my finely crafted sentences, my funny/snarky dialog, etc. get very little attention, boo hoo hoo. So to get attention for my writing, I blog. Am I settling for blogging? I might look at it that way when I’m feeling down. I might say, dammit, I put so much energy into those books and now I just goof around on a blog because it’s too hard to sell anything. Wah wah wah. Mostly I don’t view it that way though. I accept that I have no talent/desire to market and no special contacts in the biz, so I am thrilled that blogging even exists as a venue for expressing myself in front of an audience. Yay!

I try to remind myself to look at the positive side (acceptance) rather than the negative (settling) for as many areas of life as I can. I have chronic pain issues, which means my activities are somewhat limited and I need to be more careful than others even when I’m having fun. I could get depressed about this (and I have) by thinking I have to settle for a lesser life, or I could accept the reality that I am different from those who always feel physically well and be grateful for the stuff I am able to do.

Sometimes I get bummed out that I failed to find my “soul mate” and have to settle for a life without any romantic possibility, but then again is it really so bad? If I accept that not everyone finds their “person” and now I can focus on all the things I like to do without worrying about pleasing someone else, well, hey, that’s pretty nice. Usually, I can talk myself into this state of mind, and as more time passes the easier it gets. Lemons to lemonade, I say, to end as I began with a terrible cliché.


Image from Pixabay.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

17 responses to “That Settles That! [fpq]

  1. KDP bums me out 2. I sent out some queries in September to lit agents. Maybe something will come of it. I think your blogs are pretty effn cool. With my Monster Zero Ultra I salute you. 👩‍🎤👊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Very well answered Paula.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I like your attitude, Paula. And your blog.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Yep! The whole concentration lies in the stories and reasons we tell ourselves.
    Good you choose the postive reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. These words are so close, but they feel subtilely different. I think acceptance is the recognition of reality after a time of stubborn refusal, settling is the way to move on from there and live with it.
    Huh. Still, I see there is more than one way to look at this. Maybe acceptance is the ability to see the uncolored, unmodified truth of what is in front of you. What you “saw” before you finally accepted the reality does not exist, so there is no “settle.” What would Yoda say?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A positive viewpoint should help ant situation, hang in there Paula.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s unfortunate that getting recognized as an author has only a small amount to do with being a writer, and a lot more to do with being a marketer.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You have a great attitude paula! I love it! ❤

    Liked by 1 person