TMP27: Growing Old…

TMP monday peeve kitty cat

Welcome to my refreshed Monday Peeve! Unburden yourself of an annoyance and you’ll feel better afterward. Or not. Complain in my comments or crab in your own post. Doesn’t have to be on a Monday. You do you.

My title is a tad misleading because my peeve is not about growing old, which in general beats the alternative, but about a particular thing people say. In fact, I’ve read it at least twice this week. The saying goes something like “growing old is a state of mind.” That drives me nuts! This is either uttered by people who are not old yet or who are extremely lucky not to face any health ailments or disabilities and/or who have some kind of superior skin/hair genetics. For the rest of us normal people, as we creep through our 50s and beyond, our bodies will show OBVIOUS signs of aging. We will look older and we will feel older, no matter our “state of mind.” I can smile and laugh and listen to new music and follow trends day in and day out, but that doesn’t change the FACT that I suffer from sciatica 24/7 and my back ALWAYS hurts now (it used to hurt only when I did something dumb). It doesn’t change the fact that I don’t sleep as well as I used to (partly due to back pain) and thus have less energy for doing stuff during the day. It doesn’t change the fact that my memory is not as sharp as it was and it’s taking me twice as long as 4 or 8 years ago to review for the notary exam next week.

The problem with these Hallmark homilies is that it places blame on the aging person, as if we choose to feel sh!tty. Believe me, if back pain were a choice, I would choose not to have it. I mean, duh. But it’s like when people say “get over it” while you’re grieving a loss as if you can wave a magic wand and forget you have a broken heart because you were dumped or your mom died. Mostly they say these things because your feelings are making THEM uncomfortable, which is another issue. Sure, eventually, the grief may fade somewhat, but that’s simply due to time passing not some strength of character (as if there is something “weak” about missing a loved one in the first place). And, however long it takes, it isn’t willful suffering by the grieving person, just like I am not deliberately giving myself more wrinkles and flabby skin. Oh hey, I choose door number more gray hair, woohoo! Bring it on!

I know, I know. I can choose not to be bothered by gray hair, and I do choose that. I used to color my hair, but I’ve decided it looks OK and I don’t feel like spending the money. But that doesn’t change the FACT that I am aging, my hair is getting grayer, and I look like a 60 year old grandma, which I am. No mental gymnastics can change this reality and I resent people spouting crap about aging being “all in the mind.” Unless you die young, you will age, physically and mentally, and you will eventually look and feel old, end of story. (I guess there’s an exception for mental illness where you refuse to accept your age, but that’s a whole new problem.)


Image altered from the original at Pixabay.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

35 responses to “TMP27: Growing Old…

  1. You’ve absolutely hit the nail on the head here, with ALL of this Paula. Exactly my peeves too. Well said.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for this post. As a man in his late fifties I feel your pain, literally. I also love that picture of the pissed off looking cat….puuuurfect!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some people feel their age more than others. But logic says when we grow older, the bodies age and we suffer from many signs of aging.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m 37, and would like to have at least once child. But it does annoy me, a lot, when people go “that clock is ticking”…Like, duh…I am aware of my age. I already suffer from tendonitis. I can accept it all, but it’s other people “reminding me” all the time, like I am somehow unaware, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry not sorry but I couldn’t not smile 😀
    But you’re perfectly right! I’m near 40 and I do feel the difference from when I was 20 though 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think there’s a tiny kernel of truth, in that mindset can also age a person. But it is ridiculous to suggest that aging is only a state of mind.
    This is what happens when one takes a kernel of truth and buries it under bullshit.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I don’t think that there is any cure for ageing, but I feel that people can choose to be happy with themselves or be miserable and some people are better at handling pain than others.

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. I do color my hair, but I also wear a knee brace I like to take my dog on hikes, but I go on the easy trails, I still do the things I did 20 odd years ago but I take into account I’m in my late 50’s now and I’m fine with that.

    One of my friends who is a couple of years older then me decided to go take the skateboard ramps with the neighborhood kids and broke her wrist on one hand and three fingers on the other.

    Limits aren’t the same as restrictions. That’s how I look at it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. People can have a young state of mind all they want, but the body doesn’t give a shit; it’s getting old regardless.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. Bless you! I find myself wishing I could just get old and not keep up this damned pretense that I have all the energy and interest of someone half my age. I’ve finally gotten out of my “young and promising” mindset. Can’t I just rest on my laurels?

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I keep thinking that if I followed the advice of “top gut docs” in the ads below most news stories, I could stop the aging process. Only trouble is, I can’t figure out those pictures!
    But seriously (folks,) well said. The implied blame is something we do too much. It sounds too Republican–like, if I’m poor, it’s my own fault. I’m already annoyed about how I must have somehow brought type 2 diabetes upon myself–and this judgement from people who still think diabetics can eat “natural” honey and a spoonful of cinnamon every day and cure themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Oh indeedy, my Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah and bounce out of bed brighty eyed and busy tailed with a glint in my eye and mischevious smile and smirk dayshave been replaced with a zimmerframe stuttering slip out of bed and grumpy eff off to the world! No amount of coffee wakes me up and heaven help the person who yabbers on too much before my shower.

    Only today Suze said l am more grumpy than happy and l recall a conversation with Ashley early part of this year about a new series l was thinking of creating called Musings of a Grumpy Ol’ F .. probably Fart!

    Good peeve.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. My philosophy is “better over the hill than under it.” Also “if it ain’t hurtin’, it ain’t workin’.”

    Liked by 2 people

  15. My mom used to always say, ” My get up and go has got up and went.” I get it . We, with chronic pain, have learned how we must take care of our ailing bodies. Aging does not help matters at all. When you add a few handfuls of disabilities, it’s not mind over matter. EVER

    Liked by 1 person

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