Long Long Time

roses music

I love Linda Ronstadt and I’m glad Jim chose her for today’s Thursday Inspiration. She’s been one of my favorite singers forever, and I recently learned that she was instrumental (SWIDT?) to the formation and success of the Eagles, which makes her even cooler in my eyes. I’m happy she’s been appropriately honored and awarded for her talents.

Back in Chicago, in 1981, I joined a group for people who wanted to become more confident public speakers. There was a man in this group I liked. One of our assignments was to lip sync a song, and I chose Linda’s “Long Long Time.” Everyone said I did a great job, and I had the feeling that guy was going to ask me out at some point. But I wrecked everything by having an impulsive fling with a jerk in my office who turned out to be engaged. I felt so humiliated by the entire episode that I returned to my previous antisocial state and abandoned the group.

Much later, during my divorce, I dated a married man who supposedly was going to separate from his wife “soon,” but that never happened, and again I felt stupid and betrayed. The baggage I carried with me from this toxic relationship weighed me down too much to be able to form a healthy connection with anyone new for “a long long time.” But finally, in 2016, I thought I was ready.

Wrong. When I fell for a guy that September, it was a complete disaster. Unlike the others, he was unattached, but he was a selfish gas-lighter who kept me off-balance for months. He’d act interested for a week, constantly texting and making plans, then he’d ghost. When he returned, he would blame me for the situation by accusing me of not chasing him or baking cookies or whatever BS. Though I knew it was foolish, I kept hoping we would end up together. I finally grasped the impossibility in the Spring of 2017 and spent over a year sunk in a mild depression, mostly because I’d been so dumb. I had never pined away for anyone in this lovesick way before; generally, once something was over (even with that married man), I moved on immediately and tried to meet someone else. But after this one, I stopped trying completely.

“‘Cause I’ve done everything I know
To try and make you mine
And I think it’s gonna hurt me
For a long long time”
~ LR, 1970 (written by Gary White)


Image from Lovethispic.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

12 responses to “Long Long Time

  1. Boy I thought that I met some crazy women, your stories seem much worse than mine Paula. I am sorry that you got hurt so many times, but it seems like you have you head on straight now. This is really a beautiful song, thanks for sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know, I can kinda understand 2016. With such a big prize – a companion for life – you kinda have to go into it open minded, don’t you?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. God, that last one sounds terrible Paula. Gaslighting does your head in. Not surprised you got depression! Sorry to hear of all these horrible experience

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I would always spring from one relationship to the next too, believing that I needed a partner. Being single these last couple of years has been so good for me, I’d like to think I wouldn’t accept a partner now unless I could really be bothered, and even then I’d take it slow rather than rushing in trying to be all in love straight away.

    Liked by 1 person

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