Secret Sins [repost]

Couple silhouette romance

I had to give up on this Lora Leigh romance novel at the end of Chapter Seven.  Generally I will read (aka skim) even a bad novel to the end just to see how the plot untangles itself, etc., but I couldn’t stand one second more of this book. ICK!!

The first LL novel I read was awful, plot-wise, but the sex was super-hot, so I thought she’d be a good writer to go back to occasionally to re-motivate myself. I get writer’s sex-block ~ I find there’s only so many ways to say the same stuff and then I’m all, what now? And then the second LL novel continued a complex convoluted Callahan family drama that interested me from the standpoint of having an ongoing saga-like connection from book to book, though each should stand alone, which is kinda my idea for my RNs as well. Not that I have a family drama saga idea, just some peeps working at an investment type place, not that I go into much detail about that, because finance, gah! Boring!

Anyway, Secret Sins. My god. AWFUL WRITING. She drags out a sex scene for miles, chapter after chapter, with the sheriff hero guy getting called away twice, on and on, purple prose like in the old days, the heroine a virgin, but screaming in ecstasy the whole time, because that’s how it happens, yeahsure, on and on, until I wished the bad guys would have just killed them, not that I even knew who the bad guys were yet, except for Gran’pop, that heartless bastard.

But the worst thing of all? On the cover of the book is a picture of a beautiful woman with medium-length strawberry blonde hair, but the heroine Anna? She has cascades of long black hair down to her waist.

Unforgivable. I am done with Lora Leigh.

Update: still done after 7 more years.

~*~

Image from Pexels.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

8 responses to “Secret Sins [repost]

  1. Are you sure Anna didn’t walk past the mirror in the foyer and stop to look at herself, momentarily pleased at the way the sunlight streaming in through the stained glass window above the door washed her hair in strawberry golden, light? Maybe you skimmed over that part . . .

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  2. I was thinking of you the other day while proofreading some of the worst sex writing I’ve ever seen in my life…and I’ve seen some bad stuff, believe. me. This writer described the aesthetic effect of the heroine’s Brazilian wax job as “the enticing half-smile of her naked hot box.” Um.

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    • You know, I bet it often happens that bad sex inspires people to think of me.

      ::drumroll::

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    • AD - Smile Connoisseur

      “The enticing half-smile of her naked hot box.”

      I’ve been giggling about this all day. I’m totally using it somewhere. I’m thinking the first line of a poem. Or an album cover title. Or one of those incomprehensible goth/hipster tshirts, distressed, fading white lettering on black with ellipses on each end:

      “…the enticing half-smile of her naked hot box…”

      And “Smiling Hot Box” is, without question, the best new band name to come along in a while.

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  3. In the UK there’s an annual award for the worst sex scene in a (non-pornographic) novel, The Bad Sex Award.

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  4. To me, writing sex is like watching porn and trying to get some enlightenment out of it.

    “Did you see (title)? What a movie!”

    “I dunno, is that the one where she (did some thing) and then he stuck it in her (some other thing) and then she (did something else), or is that the one where he (did some thing or another) and then she (did some other thing) and then he stuck it in her (smile of one sort or another) or is that the one with the friend who (did some related thing) to both of them)?”

    “Yeah, the first one.”

    “Totally. Classic, man, what a twist!”

    Or, as you prefer, once you’ve seen one, you’ve pretty much seen them all. I have literally slept through what are supposed to be super-hot porn movies. They don’t bother me, mind you — they just bore me senseless. Maybe I’m jaded.

    Now, I used to quite like writing sex with individuals in particular that I have some sort of connection with. After all, 90+% of sex is between the ears anyhow, and nuzzling that area with someone I like is fun.

    And I’ve always liked YOUR general-audience writing.

    But for me, if I want to bore the absolute bejeezus out of myself, never mind a putative reader, writing sex for a general audience is grindingly effective.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I am over the romance novel kind of sex writing, though my OCD demands I finish up a few more. The sex I wrote for Ghosted wasn’t like that though. I felt it was entirely earned and character-driven…

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