4AM [repost]

dandelion fluff in wind

I watch from my window
While your tail lights vanish in the rain.
The streets smearstain
Into a red and green fingerpainting,
Flickering with the traffic signals,
As fickle as your interest in me.
Blurred and tearstreaked,
The wet masterpiece
Stays illuminated
By a cold lemondrop moon.

I know I’ll never see you again.

All the frothy promises
And cottoncandy plans
Dissolve in the morning mist.
My lips still hum from your kiss,
But I feel your vague disappointment,
Your perpetual darkness
Guarded by barbedwire.

I wander outside to feed the ferals—
Two slinky shadows, silhouettes cut from coal;
Crunchy nuggets clink into the cats’ dish.
How I wish I could make a wish,
But there are no do-overs here.
I always fail with a complicated man;
I don’t respond well to the tortured genius soul
Who needs the perfect femme fatale,
A Marilyn to his Al.

I fail with the uncomplicated too.

You told me I was nothing like her,
The ex who depressed you—
I thought that was a good thing;
But now I imagine you search
For her likeness,
In hopes of recreating some sick
Woody Allen type lobster scene,
To find catharsis
And absolution.
And though I sneer and snark,
I want to play a part
In this execution.

I gaze up at that judgy stone face,
Unflinchingly—
In my disordered state:
Jammie pants, damp coat,
Tangled mass of bedhead.
“Is it something I said?”
Yes.
I ponder this relationship chess;
I might just be on the precipice
Of finally understanding
Something,
Anything,
A small piece of this
Jagged, glassy, bloody puzzle.

“Is it something I didn’t say?”
Also yes.

~*~

Poetry form: free verse.
Image from Pexels.

©️2021 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon. Thank you.

14 responses to “4AM [repost]

  1. Who are Al and Marilyn?

    Like

  2. “Yes” and “also yes” indeed. One too soon and the other too late. Doesn’t matter which is which.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not a poetry critiquer (isthataword?) but I think your poems are getting better at evoking images. Anyway, really enjoyed this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I especially like “frothy promises” and “silhouettes cut from coal.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another great poem Paula.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oooh… traffic signal smearstains and Jammie pants and damp coat… yes, also yes… I feel a desperate frustration at the ending lines.
    This is SO good!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You’ve got a fair to passable handle on how my head works, on what I like and don’t, and my general reaction to poetry (which, with rare exception, gives me hives). The fact that I buy everything you write ought to be a clue. All that preface is to explain that my “Good One!” here isn’t intended to damn with faint praise…I could probably do better if I were a poet, right? But that ain’t happening. Anyhow…

    I liked this one a lot — good one!

    Liked by 1 person

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