FPQ92: Anonymously Yours


Fandango provocatively asks…

“Do you blog anonymously? Why or why not?”

I do not blog anonymously, though I understand why people do, and sometimes I wish I had. My name is slightly altered from my “real” one, but I can be found and I use my actual face photos to make that process even easier. 🤣

Why am I not anonymous? Well, it’s mainly because I began writing online 20+ years ago with this name and I want to refer to my published work, mostly self-published, but even so. I also write as Anna Fondant, which I’ve made no secret of either. Supposedly, it’s best to have one name per genre, and Anna focuses on romance and erotica. I have a third name for a completely different style of writing, but I unpublished that novel. I intend to edit it and make a trilogy of it… someday! It’s sort of science fiction erotica, or it appears to be sci-fi, but maybe it isn’t.

Dark keyboard

I try not to identify real people in my blog or otherwise unless I have their permission. My “dating stories” have many details obscured, though one guy recognized himself, which turned out to be fun. Once, I ranted about someone (without naming her), and she read it and bitched, so I took down the post. I’ve been more careful since then. I don’t post pics of others until I receive their OK, or if they’re in the public domain, such as Pexels or Pixabay. I also avoid discussing my work, family, or friends in any great detail. In that way, I’m discreet, if not anonymous. I cringe every time I see a “mommy blogger” post embarrassing stories or pics of her kids. One day, they will google themselves…

If I’d been anonymous from the start, I could have used blogging as a great catharsis for my thoughts on relationships, marriage, sex, work, politics, religion, etc. But I didn’t and I don’t. When I say anything on those topics, I’m very careful, sticking to bland stuff like “Vote Blue!” My Twitter is connected here (you have to go to the main blog to see it), but even there I retweet only mainstream Democratic stuff. You may think you know a lot about me because I’ve posted so very very many words, but you actually do not. Even those who were “privileged” to read my private blogs years ago know only a sliver more.

Secret admirer

There was a time when I was extremely depressed because I thought I’d never meet a “soul mate” I could be 100% myself with, and vice versa, but I’m over it. Pretty much. I remember those few times though when I thought I had someone like this, or someone was a potential “this,” and it was ecstatically life-altering. Then came the crash. I’ve now accepted that it’s not going to happen, and hoping for it makes me feel worse, so I have to continue to censor myself with everyone everywhere, in various ways.

Cue sad whiny music… 🎶


©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

22 responses to “FPQ92: Anonymously Yours

  1. I Googled sad whiny music and found this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you’ve struck just the right balance between being real and being private. It is impressive.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Can’t help but wonder how you are censoring yourself and how it’s related to accepting that *it*’s not going to happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So your real name is neither Paula Light nor Anna Fondant, is that right? I think I knew that Paula Light was a pseudonym. In any event, whether someone uses their real name on his or her blog doesn’t matter to me at all. I’m not interested in finding out anyone’s real life identity. There are those who willing share it, and that’s fine, although in this day and age it can be a little risky. Besides, as you alluded to, we reveal a lot about who we are on the inside by the contents of our posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. An interesting read and a nice mixture of personal/private versus world of reality 🙂
    It’s great you write under different names (never gave that idea any thought before today).
    Thanks much for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you found it useful! Yes, sometimes you even find writers changing names in subgenres. The idea is that the author should be consistent, so fans will automatically buy the next book without wondering if it departs from “the norm”

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I always marvel at the people who discover themselves in other people’s posts and then cause problems. Really? That’s so high-school.

    Just a few days ago I discovered a notebook with a pen name of mine that I have forgotten. I like it, but it’s not suitable for what I’m writing now. Professionals suggest you use different names for different genres. I thought this was silly, but now I’m rethinking it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Someone saw themselves in a post and threw a BF?? Here’s some music for that

    I share a LOT about Ben, but it’s for education and awareness. Both of my daughters have given permission to use their names and faces, but because of Ben I don’t. I guess I’m semi-anonymous🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t edit anything about myself… maybe I should🤔 I don’t reveal everything either.
    The Mommy Bloggers make me cringe too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I sometimes wish I could publicly rant, but I think perhaps not leaving that stuff out there forever is a good thing, in the long run. I get to say enough on my blog without naming names. That’s also how I see your blog: Personal enough without compromising privacy.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s funny, I thought of different blogs for different things. Poetry, flash fiction etc. In the end, I didn’t bother. I don’t know whether I’d have used different IDs – it would have made logging in a PITA.

    Liked by 1 person

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