Smiles and positive posts are all well and good, but sometimes I need to vent a bit. How about you? That’s what The Monday Peeve is all about, a chance to blow off a little steam at the beginning of the week, so then we can go merrily on our way once again (hah). I’ll pick a topic that’s on my mind, but you can vent about whatever you please, here in comments or on your own blog. Grab the photo, use the TMP tag, link back to me (or not), and Bob’s yer uncle. I do reserve the right to delete any links that offend my delicate sensibilities. So far, none have, but it could happen. I have feelings!
Today’s peeve is a little more global/general than last week’s specific, personal tissue-pack peeve. I’m talking about the situation where someone is the victim of a crime or other badness and keyboard warriors decide that this victim is obligated to become a hero. Take that guy in Central Park who was harassed by a racist woman who didn’t want to follow the dog-walking rules and called the cops on him. She ended up vilified in the media, losing her job, and now faces possible criminal charges. All that is good, and a deserved outcome. But what about the guy? He said he accepts her apology and wants to move on with his life. NO YOU CAN’T! yell a bunch of outraged peeps on Twitter. They’re angry at him for not turning that one horrible day into the focus of his entire future. How dare he move on when other people are still being harassed by crazy Karens and they neeeeeeeed him to keep talking about his experience, testify in court, write a book, make a movie. WTF? Leave him alone!
This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed this phenomenon ~ people gravitate to it when a woman is assaulted too. She must stand up for all the other women who might become victims of this guy in the future! Well, it’s great if she can do that. Hurrah! But not everyone can. Not everyone has the emotional strength to keep reliving the trauma repeatedly to help others. Sometimes all we can do is get through the next minute of our own life. And if that’s all we can do, that’s enough. Being a victim doesn’t obligate you to become a hero. It’s so easy for those who haven’t experienced the assault/crime to tell others what they should do and how they should feel.
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