Sharp Words [socs]

Crayons

Not the sharpest crayon in the shed, are ya?

You’re mixing metaphors, buddy. Perhaps your elevator doesn’t go to the penthouse any longer.

Penthouse, shmenthouse. You know what they say about stones…

Sticks and stones, man.

Glass houses is all I’m saying.

My glass is half-full because I’m an optimist.

I think you need an optometrist, pal. That glass is half-full of pee.

It’s lemonade, ya doofus. That’s what we cheery types make when life gives us lemons.

Cheery, cherry, dingleberry. Lemons are for losers! I have a banana in my pocket.

You’re probably just happy to see me.

I’ll be happy to see the last of you, is what. Don’t let the door hit ya.

That door? The one with the armed guard?

“You’re talking to yourself again,” the guard said. “I’m telling the doctor you need more meds.”

Mom always spoils our fun.

I know, right?

~*~

©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.

Image found at Asbestos.com, no relation to Asbestos Dust, I presume…

23 responses to “Sharp Words [socs]

  1. I was curious, so I did a bit of hunting, and yes, it is that asbestos, and it was found in Playskool brand crayons, hence the picture.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I actually understood most of your post Paula and I am thinking that I may need to see a psychiatrist because of that.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yep, we have all used these phrases at sometime, have a good day Paula

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Excellent post! I needed the laugh today πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I chuckled at the end of this. Awesome. I was not expecting that. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Oh, thank you! I needed a giggle after a 90 minute call from MY mother.
    Hope you don’t melt this weekend.πŸ₯΅

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Very interesting, sharp twist at the end! πŸ’œ

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Haha! I just came across “your elevator doesn’t go to the top” in a political discussion (of course) and I think it’s my new favorite. Sharpening crayons always makes me feel conflicted: I like a nice point, but I don’t want to waste crayon on not-coloring!

    Liked by 1 person

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