The things contained in this post may strike you as so far beyond the beyond they’re just simply unbelievable. But I assure you that every word is true, more or less.
Early this morning, I discovered that a gremlin had replaced all my precious bathroom supplies with a cat!
Oh noooooooooooo! Where were all my tp rolls and tissue boxes and Clorox wipes?
I was so discombobulated that I ran out to get the mail and forgot to wear a mask and gloves!
Yikes! Get away from me, creepy letters!
Then things really got crazy. I mean, they went bananas!
Yep. I had 3 ripe mushy squooshy bananas, so I decided to make my friend Judene’s banana bread. My big dilemma was should I put in chocolate chips? I thought, well, I’ll probably die soon so why not eat more chocolate? That seems reasonable. But then I thought I’d get bored of eating CCBB day after day, while I could save the CC’s for baking cookies later on, if there is one, which I would not get bored with. I didn’t put in the chips. I also didn’t put in nuts cuz I’d used them all up in my salads. I know! But I did.
BB is yummy! If you’re wondering why it’s in a glass square pan instead of a metal loaf pan… I’ll tell you. It’s because I threw out my metal loaf pans when I moved (they were gross) and forgot to buy new ones. I reduced the oven temp 25 degrees and googled to make sure that was correct. Yes! I remembered something. Hurrah!
Next, my candle from Target arrived. Why did I have a candle delivered? To match the one I had already bought for the bathroom, silly! I like to have two of each thing, and if you think this isolation deal has lessened my OCD… well, hah! Hah. Hah. That would be three hahs. Two and an extra one.
Yes, that is an avocado 🥑 night light. What a ridiculous question. No, I do not actually light the candles.
Anyway, I got so excited when the delivery guy knocked, I flung open the door, thanked him, grabbed the box, and hugged it to my chest. Then I freaked out and immediately decontaminated my whole self. So scary to semi-interact with an actual human… they could have the thing. I could have it. AUGHHHHHHH!
And now a very strange urge is starting to overwhelm me. I haven’t had this desire in a long time and it feels so bizarre. But it’s beginning to seem like I won’t be able to deny it much longer…
You know what I’m talking about…
We shouldn’t be embarrassed, right?
It’s okay to do this even when you’re alone. Hell, maybe it’s better to do it then…
I WANNA WATCH TELEVISION! 😱😱😱
Written for You Give Me Fever.
©️2020 Paula Light and Light Motifs II. No unauthorized use permitted. Please check out Paula’s books for sale on Amazon.